Kabbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a sol fastion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
The air everyway. Welcome to the Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio bloviating the weekend away on this the third day of February. Just a lazy Saturday, hanging out and Danny, you're back to celebrate the weekend
which is upon us. Here. I think he's pleased. Talked about the term safe harbor, which indirectly came from George Carlin because of his rant of these seven words you can't say on television and radio, and so that was that was interesting, and actually a listener recommended that, So that was that was kind of cool. Now, as you are aware, we like to look at dopey holidays every day. Yesterday was Groundhog's Day, which is not a dopey holiday.
That is a legitimate holiday. That's a fun holiday. Groundhogs Day today? You don't. You don't have that big Groundhog's Day thing. There's no, there's no big groundhogs Day. It's our insurance day. Does anyone like our insurance?
Oh?
No?
Also saw that it's a National noodle Day?
Oh? Is it? Now? I'm a fan of the noodles. I don't, I don't mind. I don't go out of my way to eat noodles.
But good because I made that up. Just wanted to see if you'd bite.
Yeah, why not?
It is?
Uh? Well, I you know, I bet there is a national noodle Day.
I think. I'm sure.
Yeah, there's a There's a day for everything? Is so? What other dope you high? It's Elmo's birthday today. They're very controversial.
Muppet baby CoA has recently found Elmo on the TV and he laughs and giggles every time he sees him, and some of the songs aren't too shabby.
Man. It gave me and my wife a break from that horrible miss Rachel Lady.
Yea. Elmo's polarizing though, because there's a lot of kids that hate Elmo and they they load Elmo. It's either you're you're either love him or you hate him. That is kind of hat h on this pod. You gotta you gotta have moxie. Just grab dessert, we'll see what you got, the word of the week, whatever else pops up. But I wanted to start with this. So a couple weeks back, I think it's been about a month, give or take about a month, maybe maybe a little more
than that. We we lost at the Malor Mansion, our beloved Bella. Bella checked out. Bella had been very sick for a long time. At Bella my dog. Uh, we talked about bell Bella would sit in the studio during COVID and sit next to me while I did the show. That was the studio audience was my dog, Bella and love bell. Bella just got old and things happened, and she just had doggy dyslexia and things like dementia, I should dementia, and so she had problems.
And I was like, when did she write a paper for you?
Well, you know, she'd write the monologues. But anyway, so we we had to do the adult thing, do the right thing, and and send Bella off to the Great Kennel in the sky and so we were bummed out and depressed and all that. And because Bella had been with us a long time, we loved Bella Bella. There's some famous stories Bella running away on the fourth of July as I was leaving to go to the radio station years ago.
I remember that one.
Yeah, Bella ran I chased after she ran through somebody's backyard. I told my wife, Bella's gone. I gotta go to work. She's gone. But we were able to get her back and then got eaten by a coyote. What that was? That was crazy. That was in the middle of the night, went out to go to the bathroom, go to check on her, and she's got a big piece of her shock bitten out of her from a coyote, which I guess spit her out. Didn't didn't like to taste, Yea.
But Bella finally checked out and so we sent her away. And but we we would like to make the formal announcement, Danny, that the next generation in the Malor Mansion has arrived here as double your Pleasure, Double your Fun. There was this great debate about what to do. Do we get a dop ganger of Bella? Do we recreate the Bella magic like what do we do? Like, which direction do we go? And so we were looking at Shitsuo's and we were just like, you know, we wanted to get
a rescue type dog situation. Want to buy a brand spanking new dog. I thought we'd give a dog a new life, second opportunity. Why not. So we were looking around, scouring the interweb, and then we started looking at some other dogs just to kind of see what was out there. And we were debating which direction to go. I was like, well, I don't want a dog that barks. They can't have a barking dog. So that's a problem because I do the show from the home studio, so that's an issue.
So we were going back and forth and trying to figure out what.
We wanted to do, and then we found the dog, the dog which we picked up and can now make the formal announcement.
Yeah, the robot dog from the Jetsons.
Is one hundred percent correct, Danny, We actually got a robot dog. It's not we don't have to feed it, it doesn't piss, it doesn't shit, it's wonderful. No, we have picked up our dog, Moxie, who now Moxie you're probably wonder what kind of dog is that? What kind of dog? This is the dog that I have wanted my entire life, but I have never never gone out and gotten I've had a lot of different dogs since
I was a kid. My mom always had dogs at the house when were growing up, and from my little dog Oliver when I was a kid, all the way up through all the different dogs we've had, and then as an adult, I've always not always. When I was a bachelor, I did not have a dog, but I kind of thought I did because my mom. I visit my mom all the time. She had dogs, so I
kind of consider that like my dog. But the dog we have now is a wrinkly faced, overweight but muscular bulldog, an English bulldog, and the only person that knows outside of the family Danny, is Karen k. I reached out to kk Now, if you're new to the show, I haven't listen that long Karen Kay. I did the show with Karen k for a years. She was she was with Fox Sports Radio, and I've known Keren a long time and.
She used to bring her two big bruisers into the studio with her.
Yeah, Karen always had bulldogs and she loved the bulldogs. And I loved looking at the bulldogs and admired the bulldogs, but I never had a bulldog, and so I wanted her to know before anybody. I was like, Karen, I got this bulldog and it's a girly dog named Moxie. And loved the dog, absolutely loved the dog. The dog's great, But there are some things about bulldogs that are unlike any other dog that I've had, and I think you probably know what those are, Danny, But oh yeah, I
have named Moxie Old Faithful. And the reason I have named Moxie old Faithful is because around every twenty minutes she just lets it rip with flatulets. There's a lot of even when she's sleeping, she's just farting. And these She's bulldogs are about fifty pounds or whatever, give or take, and so yeah, it's a decent sized fart and the smell I have to leave a fan on.
Oh they are known as fart machines.
Yeah, but they're so damn cute. There's no way to take a bad picture. I'll put some photos up of Moxie today. And I was studying the English bulldog. I was curious, what's the history of linguist bulldog and all this stuff? And I did not know. I did not realize that the origins they were bred to fight bulls. How crazy is that they were? It was bull baiting.
It was a blood sport in the UK goes back to the twelve hundreds and it was only banned in the eighteen thirties, so for six hundred plus years bulldogs were specifically bred to have a violent encounter. They would they would kind of creep up low to the ground, and the way it works from what I read online, as I understand it, they would bite the bull or sometimes bears or horses nose and then would hold on
for dear life. They just grab a hold and you know, they'd be thrown in the air by the bull or the bear or the horse or whatever, and a lot of a lot of the animals suffered big time injury. Even humans at this would die because the bull would go flying into the crowd of spectators. And that, you know, that's a blood sport. So that's I had no idea that was did you eat? No, I had no idea that was a sport.
I'd no, no, I didn't know that either.
Yeah, but Maxie does love playing fetch. That must be in her genetics from back to the you know, twelve hundreds where she just can't get enough of it. And she does like to latch onto things and not let go, which is a slight problem sometimes.
But did you see photos or meet her parents? Do you know how large she will get?
Well, she is a rescue, so it's rare to get an English bulldog and a rescue. She had been breeding, she'd been used for breeding and then she was she's about four years old. Now. The thing that kind of scares me a little bit, Danny, is bulldogs don't live that long. Like they only almost been there, like eight to ten years, So she's not gonna be around that long. We know that going in. But she's a great dog and it's been really cool, and she's kind of getting
potty trained. She had lost her way potty training wise and stuff like that. But so far we've had her for a little bit. I wanted to make sure everything was good before we made the announcement, and so she's great. I get up in the afternoon, I'll take Moxie out to get busy and go to the bathroom and all that, and then she'll lay down next to me. I've got my laptop up and I'm getting ready for the show,
and she'll are watching games or whatever. She'll just lay down, just fart every twenty five minutes or thirty minutes or whatever, like old faithful and no problem, just slobber all over the place and then congratulations. But I said, double your pleasure, double your fun, Danny, because not only did we get Moxie, but wait, there's more. We also picked up This is a desert runaway dog, a buddy my right hand man, found out out in the desert roaming around the desert.
And this dog, which is also now part of the Malor Mansion, named Luigi, that is a we had a little test done, Danny. It is a pug mixed with a French bulldog. Oh okay, they call that a frog bello so legendary. You had to replace her with two different dogs exactly. Well, we were only planning one, but we ended up with two. But this is a French bulldog pug mix, which I didn't even know was a thing.
It looks like a pug, but it's a lot bigger than a pug because it's got the French bulldog in it's called a frog and I didn't even know what that was. I didn't even know that was a thing. I had no idea.
Had you could just put out feelers and you got back one too many good options, so you got.
To no, no, my guy. This dog actually was wandering around literally a stray dog, and picked it up and put it on your put on the internet. We found this dog for a while, nobody responded to it, and so then the dog became property of the and then we became owners of said said dogff.
Earf and neither are barking, So that's cool.
Yeah, yeah, so far, so good. Although Moxie, well we've had a few people over to the house and sometimes Moxie, if she doesn't know you, she'll kind of grab onto your shoes and kind of like like you know, hold on to them for a little bit, which is which is an issue. So the FuG, as it is called, the frog frog frog is named Luigi. So we have Moxie and Luigi, and like I said, I'll put some photos up and so you guys you can see if you're interested in that on Instagram and the show Facebook page.
At some point today on Saturday, I'll put those up. You know what you can do is you can just grab a dessert and you can just look at the photos there. You just grab assert and look at the photos of Moxie and Louis have a grand time.
Yeah.
I know that you especially will enjoy this because you are a Costco man.
Yeah.
It's not common that the wife and I will go to Costco on the weekend, especially having a six month old, it's not easy to shop. So usually, you know, I'll be babysitting Coha and the wife will go to Costco for a quick run, or we'll have them deliver, which is nice except a little expensive.
But this past weekend we're like, you know, let's just go in to grab.
A dessert snacks because we were going to go to Rich Davis's house the following day for a championship weekend little football get together. I told my wife going in, because she's like, oh no, this is just like when I walk into Target for one thing, and I said, no, no, no, I'm here as your conscience.
We're just going to grab a dessert, that's it.
So we get to the checkout, she pulls up her Costco card on her phone, how much do you think the final bill was.
I have not been able to go to Costco and walk out for got less than like one hundred bucks in I can't remember, so I'm gonna say around one hundred bucks, I'm.
To say, And that's a really good guess.
Yeah, because just the groceries along with the dessert were ninety three dollars ninety But she also had on one of those flatbed roller things, a seven hundred dollars mattress. What yeah, now it was on sale. It was a couple hundred dollars off, which was nice. But we've been looking for a mattress. We happen to be in that aisle and she's like, oh my god, look at this sale. We're never going to find one this nice, you know, for this much off. We got to get this right now.
And I'm like, I thought we were in here for a dessert to bring to rich Davis's house.
I wanted to toot and fifty cent chocolate chip cookie. I did not a seven hundred dollars matt.
With a five ninety nine loaf of banana nut bread right. Instead, our final bill was I don't know, five hundred for the mattress one hundred for the groceries. So our final bill was roughly six hundred dollars and we were supposed to go in for something that was six dollars. Now, when we told this to the guy who was wheeling the big mattress on one of those flat carts, he looked at us and he said, that's the most costco thing I've heard all day.
Yeah, no, that's that's about right. And that reminds me of I think his listener, Blake, who listens to this podcast. I hope he's hearing this. One Blake in Arkansas who he's the guy Danny that opened up the Amazon Clearance store where they'd buy trucks of returned items to Amazon and sell them for like ten bush.
That's right.
Yeah, So he moved into the mattress space. He moved into the mattress space a while back, and he told me that there's so much money in mattresses. He said it should be illegal, is what he said. He said that the mattress warehouse places will buy wholesale mattresses for I think he said one hundred or two hundred dollars per mattress and then sell them for five six, seven, eight, whatever,
it might be one thousand dollars a mattress. And so he was like, yeah, he's like this is this is crazy because us commoners, Dan, he can't pay one hundred bucks for a mattress, right, we have to buy it at the price which is five hundred plus or whatever or more for the mattress. But I think that makes sense because the most famous person to sell mattresses is that guy in Houston, Mattress Mac. He's the guy that makes the multimillion dollar bets every year.
And oh he's a he is loaded.
Yeah, he's worth millions and millions from selling mattresses. And now we know how he is worth millions and millions selling mattresses because of that. But yeah, that guy Blake. Maybe Blake can send us an email let us know more about how the mattress mattress hustle works. But is it a good mattress? You knoww does your wife like a firm mattress a soft mattress somewhere in the middle.
Somewhere in the middle, which is where the box showed this one being at. Okay, and we're gonna have to take the box's word for it for now. Because as of taping this with you, we have not yet removed the old mattress and brought in the new one. I've been waiting for her oldest to come home, eat a whole bunch of food from our kitchen, and then help me with the mattresses.
Gotcha, gotcha? All right? And the good thing about Costco is if you don't like it, you can always take it back.
Do you under stand what you just said? Was her final selling point to me. Aha, She was trying to convince me to buy said mattress. This is the place to get one, because if we don't like how.
It feels, we could just bring it right back.
Yeah, which will be very easy to load that into the car and just drive it on over to the Costco. That will not be an inconvenience at all. You will not be back out putting that in the car. And it's much easier, of course, to put a thing like that in the car after you've already taken it out and laid it down on the bed and let it air out and all that stuff.
Right, you're right about returning it because it's not a good sign that it's been sitting in the box in her car.
For a week.
Oh, it's been in the car. You just left it in the car.
Yeah, it's in the box in the car for a week now.
Huh. Interesting. You know, we'll have a follow up next week. We'll have our big Super Bowl weekend next weekend on the fifth hour and more on that. I guess we can mention that right now. Right the plan is weather permitting, we should have fresh podcast. The podcast on Friday will be up a little bit later next week because we'll be at Radio Row. I'll be hanging out. You'll be there all week, but I'll be hanging out with you. Yeah, for Friday, I'll be in Vegas at the Radio Row
thing doing some interviews. Last year we had Emmett Smith on and who is it, the Green Bay Packers guy, I forget his name?
Watson?
Yeah, yeah, he was there with us.
So we had Christian Watson.
Yeah, he had a great, great year with Aaron Rodgers that year.
D Watt.
I didn't have his great a year this year, but that's fine. He was injured some and whatnot. And so we'll be there time now for the word of the week. The word of the week, The word.
Of the week.
The word is sarcasm something that we dabble in quite a bit. Sarcasm, that great word, right, it means obviously sharply ironical, taunt or whatever. But did you know the word In the sixteenth century, the definition was violence. That's right. Sarcasm, which originally comes from the Greek word which of a similar sound to it. It means to rend, tear away, or rip apart flesh was the original meaning of sarcasm,
so slightly violent. And it was decided at some point, at some point along the way, that a verbal attack was a better ends to a mean than to make a point, rather than rip apart flesh and whatnot, And so that is where it turned into sarcasm. It goes back to the sixteenth century, the fifteen seventies biting, taunting, and then it became a satirical thing over the course of time to kind of mock and jest and whatnot.
But that's the current meaning. But back in the late fifteen hundreds early sixteen hundreds, the word sarcasm originally again tearing away or ripping apart the flesh, but now it's a metaphorical tearing away and ripping apart of the flesh. In the the modern, modern perspective. I wanted to get quickly. We're not gonna do too much. Pop goes the culture, but we'll have Ohio, I'll go ahead, Ohio, I'll do your thing, job job, all right, thanks, Ohio. So here's
Danny Pop goes the culture. And since you brought this story up with Costco, did you see the TikTok who went viral this week for returning a sofa to Costco that was two years old.
No, but that does not surprise me, as my older brother has returned to TV that was three years old.
Yeah, and there's this great debate on the internet. So this woman of course documented everything she put it on on the TikTok to get views and go viral and gain clout and all that stuff. And sure enough she did. And she's like, hey, I've had this for two years and it's you know, kind of dirty. So we're gonna load it up and return it to the Costco and I'm done with it. And she was like, well, they have the return policy. It's like, but this is the
kind of thing. These are the people that take advantage of that and then they ruin it for the rest of us, Right, It's like the people that are fraudsters with insurance, and so everyone's insurance rate goes up because there's fraudsters out there, and there's no such thing as a free lunch. And you know, it's like it's like the government handing out free money during COVID. Someone's going to have to pay for that, right so someone is everyone else is going to have to pay for that.
And so you return crap and I can stay I'd say within a year, okay, but two years plus it's si ridiculous. And I was reading that the worst offender, the single worst offender, and I may or may not be guilty of this. The Costcos in Hawaii day that on a regular basis, tourists from the mainland will go to Costco when they get to Hawaii. They will buy all of the beach chairs, all of the umbrellas, they'll
buy coolers, all of it. They will use all of it for a week or ten days or two weeks, and then on their way back to the Maui airport, they will stop buy the Costco and return everything wow, everything, surfboards, scoob suits, whatever it might be, all back to Costco. And that is said to be the single worst. The different locations on the Hawaiian Islands are the worst of the worst.
Can you imagine being an employee at one of those locations?
What a nightmare?
Man?
What do they do? I guess they factor that in, right, there's a certain percentage of products that get returned. They know that going in. That's just kind of the way that it works.
But yeah, so people basically treat them as if they're a rental place.
Yeah, pretty much, that's the way it goes. What else in Popco's the culture? I saw the follow up last week we had the Taylor Swift AI porn scandal and we talked about that. Alf did some research to make sure that that stuff was off the Internet and he was able to find some photos of Ai Taylor with Oscar the Grouch and he made sure to send those over to me. Thank you for that, Alf, I appreciate that very kind of you to do that. Didn't need that.
But Taylor Swift as a search term was actually blocked briefly on X because of that schedule could not search Taylor Swift because so many people were like trying to find find these photos. And one other note, the schools around the United States are having a big problem with kids going to the bathroom and vandalizing, vaping, smoking weed, doing you know things kids do in bathrooms. So did you see in Houston and Green Bay they have gone to extreme measures to stop kids from doing this in
the bathroom. A Green Bay High school has put a glass door on the bathroom because the schools like, we got to stop kids from vaping and vandalizing the bathroom, so we're just gonna put a glass door so we can see in the bathroom to make sure they're not destroying the sink. And in Houston they've gone next level, Danny. They've been installed bathroom cameras to record to make sure that no one destroys and does drugs in the bathroom and destroys.
The sink and whatnot. That's okay with the laws in their state.
Well, no it's not. That's why it's a story that the parents are upset. But it's in Texas, so who knows they might be able to get away with it. But yeah, there's a lot of people not only in Texas but in Wisconsin also who are up in arms, right, they're rey concerned about the class door to the bathroom. And then the camera in the bathroom.
I better see a we weie, not a vape.
Yeah, who's the one monitoring that video? How's that? How's that going? I don't know. All right, we'll get out on that, Danny. Anything else you want to promote here. It's Saturday today, you know, just kind of hanging out the last Saturday before Super Bowl weeks or kind of chilling chill out.
Yeah, and a little bit of shopping. I'm going to head to the Macy's at the mall see if I can grab a couple of shirts that fit decently, and maybe one jacket so I could try to be as cool as Covino and Rich. You know, they're Super Bowl wardrobes. They always each have like two really cool jackets that they can wear to like the you know, the glamorous parties at night. Uh huh. I don't have jackets like that. So I need to find me like a rock star jacket this weekend.
So that's the goal, the rock star jacket.
That's thin enough to wear. I don't sweat bullets because I don't like wearing jackets.
Yeah, it's gonna be cold in Vegas. That's gonna be rainy in Vegas. Most of the week. So ya, you'll you'll be all right, You're fine, it'd be good and very nice. Go to the haberdashery.
I'm gonna look for one that has the blinged out shoulder pads like Michael Jackson used to wear.
Oh, sure, you have the puffy shoulders. Why not? Yeah, well, you can go in Vegas. There's some great stories. Also, when you're in Vegas at night, you can go shopping and there's no parties early in the week, so you can go out and.
The vintage Allie.
Oh yeah, we were there hanging out. That's what we got.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I could get a puppet too. I get a muppet and take into the parties with me. That'll yeah, I'll handle the coolness factor.
You make it, you know, have your own puppet, muppet for videos online. That's what I have mind for us. All right, we'll get out on that. I'm just hanging out today. I got nothing going on, and I'll be hanging out with Moxie and Luigi. Yeah.
I was gonna say, man, you could take your two dogs to the dog park.
That's right. Yeah, it's not raining, it might be raining.
Pickup on chicks.
Oh yeah, that's the move. I'm sure the wife will approve of that. Anyway, I have a wonderful, wonderful Saturday. We'll catch you on the Mailbag podcast on Sunday later.
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