The Fifth Hour: The Condor's Top Crooner

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If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

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The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

In the air everywhere. Welcome into the Audio Dojo, another edition of The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny G Radio, a spin off of the Ben Mahler Show. You hear Danny G with Covino and Richie. You hear me bloviating into the night, five nights a week in this podcast. As you know, it's heard every weekend. We have three original podcasts. You will not get this content anywhere else. A bit on the iHeart Podcast Network or wherever you happen to download the podcast.

And we thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting the show. You've been great.

The reviews continue to pop up. In fact, we will have coming up in a little bit on this The Saturday edition will have Backscratcher.

We had a few more reviews.

We have stamp of approval, Viva Las Vegas, Tales from the Naked City with our man Danny G.

And you make the call. So we got all that.

Content and we're going to get the party started here right now. So the stamp of approval, the Life of malor the Life of Danny G. So I talk about what happens and then nothing too exciting happened. Of course you could argue nothing ever that exciting happens kind of the day to day, but that's most of life. It's just the day to day stuff. That's kind of how you live your life, right. You have a few big events mixed in. Then you kind of call it a day and you look at your scorecard and see how

You ever had those?

Oh, yes, I have.

That is the Let me tell you something that is food porn.

I don't know what they do with those things at Roundtable, but my god, you get that a little marina on the side.

Oh heaven, heaven, it's a meal in itself. It is, it is.

And if if Roundtable didn't cost nine hundred dollars for a pie, I might go back there. But instead I just make ripoff versions. So I made this Roundtable garlic palmers on breadstick plate. And if you've never been to Round Table, which I think is only on the West coast, r it's a northern California place.

I think it's only kind of in the West. I don't think it's a national chain.

But it's really good and cheesy, loaded with garlic goodness.

So I made that.

That was the appetizer, and then I made not one, but two authentic original mallard pies from the old Country, which is not really the Old Country, because you know, I came up with the recie, but.

It's just what I like. So what is a mallard pie?

If you've not heard before, Well, this was actually on the menu Danny in Michigan, Grand Rapids, Michigan, home of Floyd Mayweather and his family, if I remember correctly, there was a a pizzaia like a bar pizzeria that put this on the menu. Then they took it off the menu, but it was on the menu. So a malard pie, it's it's And I made two of these, so large pizza. You got the dough and all that thinly cut onion.

Put a mound of mozzarella all over that bad boys the.

Tomato sauce, and then you put the mozzarella on top and put some other cheeses. Mix the cheeses up a wonderful medley of cheeses, and it's a little slice of paradise.

It's what it is.

I did this all, you know, just on Saturday. I spent a lot time putting this thing together, and I had to time it. See that the time for me is the timing thing. Because the wife was at work, she was on her way home, so I wanted to line it up, and so I was a little off on the timing.

She got there. My father in law stopped by.

And he joined us because his stepdaughter had a baby in North Carolina, so everything's kind of messed up. He's been spending time in North Carolina, spending time in California, where he lives, and so he came over to have a home cooked meal and aye of that. And I'm happy to report, Danny, that I did pick up the father in law seal of approval.

I was all concerned because this is the pizza I like. You know, when you make food that you like, You're like, I.

Don't know that anyone wants onion and bell pepper and garlic on their pizza. Maybe they want, you know, classic sausage of the pepperoni or something like that.

And this is what I got. But he did like it.

He gave me the seal of approval and took confirmed that he did like it. We had a bunch of left I made too much food, so we had a bunch of leftover pizza and breadsticks. Actually the bread sticks went pretty quick. There was leftover pizza, and so he took a bag of pizza.

Well yeah, that's when you ask for some tinfoil.

Yeah, yeah, so he took some. He took some pizza, and then I was like, well, maybe he's just being polite. Part of me is like, well, maybe he's just being polite. You know, I don't want to be a dick, and he wants me to think that he likes the pizza.

You know, I like the pizza or whatever he likes it. So I was kind of rolling over that.

But the next day I got a text and he said, hey, I loved it. Tastes just as good the second day, and so I was like, there you go. I got evidence, mission accomplished, and so I was. I was happy about this, but these round table garlic palmers on breadsticks, this ripoff version, Oh man, it's the way to go. I don't think you can get that in Viva Las Vegas, Dandy. I don't know that you can't.

I mean, maybe you can't. You can get just about anything you want in Vegas, but I've never seen that. Is there a round table in Vegas?

I don't know. I have no idea.

They got a bunch of other pizza places there, so who knows.

You have a bunch of different spots. They're like Slice, which I saw at the Mandalay Bay as you walk into the Luxelre.

Oh.

It was a great NBA con, the very first one that they tried. In their mind, I think they wanted to kind of be like a comic con, but for basketball nerds. There were all kinds of vendors and fashion like NBA fashion there.

How much did it cost to get into NBA Con? How are they charging?

I think it was thirty dollars for kids for kids, in fifty for adults, I believe.

Boy.

Yeah, But in Vegas that's you know, it's not too horrible because there was a sneaker con thing going on right next door, which was even more expensive. And then of course the cigar weekend was going on there where all these old, these old NBA looking dudes were in line for cigars.

The villivily quiet, you.

Know, Las Vegas, it's very, very expensive, but I think inside there they had enough stuff going on for the kids where when my son gets old enough, I would bring them to something like this, because instead of a skate park inside this massive convention center connected to Vandali Pay, it was a basketball park. So they had all these things that looked like Disneyland, created these basketball hoop trees with basketball hoops all the way around in a three sixty.

You know.

The highlight though, was Dominique Wilkins on our set. We got to interview him former clipper. Yeah, former clipper, although he said in the interview, he'd like to forget those years.

No, it's it's true.

When he was traded for Danny Manning, I was covering the team at the time, and he was like a sad puppy dog, like a Bassett hound. You know, he was so depressed. He was so so depressed playing for the Clippers.

What is still wrong with the Clippers? They were terrible in those days.

At the play the Mausoleum Sports Arena, it was brilliant.

Yeah, had it been the Bomber Clippers, he would have, you know, blended in better with a Blake Griffin and a Lob City. But yeah, back then it was a sad situation for him.

And now, at one point Dominique for those that are of not of the age, like Dominique Wilkins played in the eighties, but at one point he was neck and neck with Michael Jordan, like they were they were the two great dunkers, dom Jordan, and then it's like they were even and all of a sudden, Jordan like took off. But for a while, Dominique Wilkins was considered the same player as Jordan, and you know, very similar similar guy as far as a dunking guy and a high flyer and all that, and then Jordan.

Took it to the next level.

He even was runner up to Jordan's scoring title. Yeah, man, a lot of people they asked him that too. They said, Hey, when you google Dominique Wilkins, one of the first things that comes up said why is he so underrated? He said, he thinks it's because he didn't play alongside another genuine superstar.

That's a shot at doc rivers. That's a shot who. I think the show was old HOWK John Contact.

I think was in Atlanta, a split web free rawlins right, Yes, yeah, some of those old HOWK players back of the day.

That's very nice guy. It was really cool and he stayed for like an extra fifteen twenty minutes after the interview to take pictures with everybody that was there. It was like a live audience setting of wordless Mic where they did Q and A with Covino and Rich and some of the people that showed up. So it was really that was cool that all went very smooth and our bosses were happy. H There was lots of excitement

Just go for it. Why not?

I did the Indian dance all the way to the back of the convention center. Yeah, and I find the restroom. When I come out, there's all the there's all these kids jumping up and down, super excited, and there's a few mean security guards saying step back, step back, and I'm like, what's going on here? So I get my camera out, like they all had their cameras out. I don't even know what's going on, but I became part

But he's seven five.

They said, holy shit, I guess like seven to seven and his sneakers. I've never seen a human being that tall in my life. This guy would make you look like Arnold West. I can't. Would you talk about Mallard?

Yeah, well, you know, but he's not the thing about I've seen him like he's very scrawny, like he's say, he's got to fill out. But like the two biggest human beings I've ever seen in my life were both basketball players.

It was George Mirrasan who was in it.

That guy was huge.

He was in a movie with Billy Crystal and the other one is Yao Ming and I guess Shaq would be on there as well, but Yao Ming and George.

Mirras On were monsters, so Shack was also put.

Yeah, but this guy is so skinny, though, do you think he might be able to break him like a draft, you know, the legs on a draft.

Yeah, that's why when we were on the air, I said, I don't care what he says about skinny up or whatever. He's got to put some muscle on. Whether that's fifteen to twenty pounds. He's got to put something on because if I'm an NBA coach, I'm telling my players, hey, rough him up. He's definitely a skinny dude, and I think you could probably push him around the court if you wanted to play physical like that.

Yeah, he's like a piece of straw. And then the guy in Oklahoma City who missed last year. I forget the kid's name from. Was he Gonzaga. He's also built like that.

Yeah, it's like they remind me of here's an outdated reference.

But why not a Minute Bowl? When I started as a radio report, Minute was still playing. He was playing for the Golden State Wars and they had him shoot three point shots.

The guy seven to seven minute Bowl?

How about an early Kevin Durant.

Yeah, Durant was Spindley he was also but yeah or not. Minootpole never filled out like Mark Eaton, who I think he passed away copters. But he was a giant man too.

For the Utah Jazz there.

Were a lot of massive Kevin Duckworth who's also dead, but he was massive.

He played with the Clippers at the end of his career.

Oh, speaking of Clippers. I saved the best for last four year.

Right. Here we go, Here, we go here.

When we first entered the convention Center on day one, we noticed the NBA mascots right away, Slamson the Lion and Chuck the Condor, who we talked about a lot on your live radio show Overnights Trash. He even had his own sound effects. Yeah, you know, he's a star.

So in dancing ooh drizzle.

So we're watching a little bit of this and Slamson comes up and he snaps a quick picture with Covino and Rich. I see Chuck out of the corner of my eye.

Now full disclosure stuff.

Slamson is the King's mascot right right right, the Lion.

Okay, Sacramento's finest. Yeah, okay, So out of the corner of my eye, I see Chuck the Condor, and I tell cn R I'm like, you got to get a picture with Chuck.

Is this like seeing Jesus? Is this as very similar?

Very close?

Yes?

So we I mean people were getting pushed over. It was much like the scene when Wemby, when I mean kids and adults were pushing each other over. Same thing with Chuck the Condor.

You got mascot loyalty and with apologies to Benny the Bull and Lucky the Leprechaun and all that, this is Chuck the Efen Condor, okay, and the gorilla in Phoenix and all that. I'm sorry you got the Condor?

What what?

What?

Just like that, So he he's nice enough to take a selfie with Covino and Rich. I'm wearing my Kobe jersey, and Rich points to me, trying to start trouble as usual, and he's like, take a picture with a Kobe fan here, And so Chuck immediately does his karate kid crane stance like he's gonna kick me in the face.

Yeah, that's my man, Chuck. There, violent mascot, Chuck the Condor.

I square up and I get my hand like I'm gonna punch him in his two can sam nose. And then they said the magic words they said, take one picture for Ben Mallard, who Ben Mallard came out of Rich Davis's mouth. Chuck the Condor's head was shaking up and down, like just do it, do it.

That's my mascot, that's my guy, the great Chuck the Condor.

Come on now.

So, as you know, these these mascots are not allowed to talk. But the way he reacted to hearing Ben Mahller, you know that you are on an even higher level than Clipper Darryl.

Well, that's a I'm flattered and I'm smiling. I have a chess Shire cat smiled, Danny. I'm so happy from here to here now. I was at Chuck the Condor's birthday party a couple of years ago.

Loser that was like mascot porn?

Was that because it was the same thing because they was Chuck the Condor. They had all these other random mascots and it was awesome. But I got I got photo with Chuck and the person that took the photo he botched a lot of the photos. So I got to go back to another mascot party. So would you rate this, Danny, I've only been to the NFL experience obviously, this was new NBA con Is it NBA on better than the NFL experience?

The NFL experience is like a lot of.

It's very similar, but it's not as polished. So I'm going to say it's going to take another year or two of them working out the kinks to get it to roll as smooth as an NFL experience.

Yeah, the NFL has been doing that for thirty years. So in the end, I wanted to think the NBA hired the same people that put the NFL thing together, like, hey, can you help us out here?

Possibly because it looked very similar.

Yeah, there's there's likely a kind of a map or a framework that you got to use. And Baseball does the same thing.

They have their All Star fan fest that they had in Seattle this week, so you know, why not there.

You go knock yourself out.

So you make the call. Used to love these, you make the call. We'll make this quick. So got back from the gym this week, was walking in the kitchen get some water after I'd done my time on the treadmill. I took a wrong step. Now you make the call on what happened. This is multiple choice A. Did I step on bella poopy. B. Did I trip and hurt my toe on the side of a table. C I sliced my foot open with a gusher of blood on a piece of glass, or D none of the above.

You make the call.

I'm gonna say that you hurt your toe, you kicked the side of it.

You think you're going with B that I tripped on I hit the table with my toe. The correct answer reveal answers is C dand it was actually see, I was walking barefoot after I took my shoes off. That got all my sweaty clothes off. So I was going to get some water and I'm walking through the kitchen and my my wife.

Of course I was barefoot.

My wife had dropped a bottle of I think it was avocado oil, and this thing shattered. This was like a few days earlier, and so she thought she had gotten all the pieces of glass. Oiler alert, got a giant shard of glass right in my underneath my right foot, you know. And so I'm like, you know, you step on my feet are pretty you know, I walk barefoot a lot. So I have a lot of scar tissue on my feet and a lot of callous or whatever. They're not the most aesthetically pleasing feet.

It happens.

So I'm I'm like, you step on it and you know you've just it doesn't feel right. You're like, oh boy, it didn't hurt that much. But then I picked my foot up and I saw a puddle of blood and I was like, well, that's not good.

But it's at the bottom of my foot.

So I grabbed the paper towel, I got a little water and I.

I put pressure on it and it forces. It didn't stop.

It was One thing about glass is it goes pretty quick. It's in and out real quick.

Get a gigy.

So that's that's pretty good.

We have the backscratcher. This is the backscratcher. You scratch our back, we scratch your back. These are actual reviews of the podcast this week.

Danny.

We got two two reviews this week, which is great. Oh yes, yep, thank you all for that. This one's reads five star content guy says I'm new at reviews, but feel that the big guys in the offices who read the reviews need to read this. These two guys, Ben Mallor and Danny G deliver extremely relatable and consistently enjoyable content. How about that Number one, I says, I'm

P one Hey, nice review. Thank you.

Yes, And as you know, Danny, not many people know I live in Northern California. Most people think I live in the Los Angeles area. They don't realize that I live in the Bay Area. It's a big surprise.

You don't talk about it very often. But you bought mc hammers old mansion that he had to sell for change on the dollar because he got so upside down.

That is correct. Yes, And I hang out with Mason the Millennial in the Bay Area and I love writing bart love it all.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Next review on Backscratcher, We've got Marcus from Bruceville, Eddie, Texas. He says, the capital of Texas. Great show listen every weekend. Marcus says, God bless you.

Thank you, Marcus. I appreciate that. I've never heard of that town, though.

It sound like somebody somebody's full name with their middle name included.

Check this out, he said, he's Bruceville Eddie. Bruceville Eddie, Texas. Let me look this up here.

I've been looking for a name for my son who was about to be born.

Ah, there you go, Bruceville Eddie. That's combining to not using Eddie, but Bruceville. I don'der ednything. Yeah, yeah, my lips have been on it might talk hockey your kid.

See, this is a city in mcclennan and Falls Counties in Texas. Population you want to take a guest on the population.

I'm gonna say, uh, nine ninety nine.

Well, you didn't go over the last census back in twenty twenty. There were one thousand, four hundred and thirteen people. It says most of the city is in the mcclennan County is part of the Waco Metropolitan Statistical Areas.

It's part of Waco, oh Okay, Texas.

Well, you don't see too many challenges where they have a hyphen A hyphen.

Yeah, no, I'd never heard of this time, but now I have. They have a water tower with an eagle on it. That's pretty cool. There's one notable resident who's now dead, a musician named Tony Duran. Never heard of him.

Oh, okay, here we go.

From nineteen seventy two. He was a member of Frank Zappa's backing band and was also a member of Reuben and the Jets. But I've heard of Frank zappas Yes, very exciting, good times. So thank you for that, Thank you for the reviews. I think we'll get out on that. We have the Sunday mail Bag and we'll do some pop culture on Sunday. Yes, a few pop culture stories.

That sounds good.

All right, have a wonderful rest of your Saturday, and we'll catch you next time.

Aosta pasta.

Hey, hey, hey, let you go go to hell. King Eddie, back up, back up, Get jack up, Jack up. Everything Eddie touches turns to ash. You need to put him in this place. I'll tell you another thing, Ben, and you can put I'll put this on my mama and you can. You can make a note of this and write it down. This may be my last call I'll ever make. Until Eddie dropped the gin and I'll tell you what. I implore all patriots, fans, all New English fans, all fans of the NFL, to rise against Eddie, Garcia

Antartia scattered pictures.

Of the smiles we left beh I don't care.

I'm leaving.

Goodbye that flat