The Fifth Hour: Stuffed Station Wagon

We welcome into the podcast, Joe, Joe, It's the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G Radio because four hours a night or not and off on the overnight. This a spinoff of that show, Danny of course, now big time daytime guy again working on uh Fox Sports radio show Just Lost. How's that going, by the way, Covino and Rich? Is that going well over there? Danny G? Yeah, it's been going really good, funny shows every day, really entertain raining. But Ben, don't get it twisted. Half of

the show is daytime. The other half of the show is a nighttime hour. Yes, you split right down the middle. You get half the daytime, half the nighttime. So half of you is very important, the other half not so important. So you you got a little bit of both worlds when you when you cross over the rubicon, it's lopsided because I'm with you the other time. So yes, So that's like that's out in the abyss. That's like in a black hole somewhere, but not the Raiders black hole.

It's it's out far far away. All right. Let's let's get right into it here. It is the Fifth Hour. We do this every weekend Saturday, Sunday Friday. We have Benny versus the Penny until further notice on this podcast, and so we're keeping the good ship going. And on this edition of the Fifth Hour we have what's the number, Chicks, Revenge, Fleabag, Commercial Overload, and end back Scratcher. So a lot to get to, not a lot of time, Danny, So let's get going. Yes, let's do it all right, here we go.

We start out with this. So I've been working out at the gym, and I'm not here to brag about working out in the gym. I wish I could work out at home, but my treadmill is still not up to speed. I moved over a year ago, and stuff still not where it needs to be, and there's stuff that needs to be fixed to get the treadmill working and all that. So I've been I've been going back to the gym. This past week was an interesting week, so I I mostly do cardio. I mostly do cardio.

When I'm out there, I like, I listen to music, or I'll watch TV or whatever, and that's fine. Maybe I'll watch videos on YouTube on my phone. And they have a lot of crime at these gyms, Like there's a lot of people a break into lockers and stealing all kinds of crap, even where I live out in the north Woods. So I decided, since I go go back to the gym, and I don't want to use a locker because I don't want stuff to get stolen, and I don't want to leave stuff in my car

because cars get broken into all the time. So I made a calculated decision. I decided to use They have these public lockers at the gym I go to, so it's open twenty four hours. If that gives you a clue, Danny Phone drizzle. At this particular gym, they have these lockers right in front and there for public use during the day or night whenever you're there and you don't need to use a lock they're out in public view,

and you can put your personal items in there. And then the way it works is you you put your stuff in there, like for example, I put my car keys, my wallet in the locker, and you type in a pass code. It can be any pass code. It could be your phone number, your birthday, it could be some number that you remember, whatever it might be, and you twist the lock. You remember the number, and then you twist it again and bam, everything's locked, and that's it, right.

And so I I've been using these things and I've used them for like the last couple of weeks, and so this week I put everything in, I twisted the lock, and then I went and I was sweating to the oldies, so I went or I was doing my cardio, I was on the treadmill. But this week was unlike all other weeks because while I was working out, I then went to kind of get a good sweat going. I went to the sauna in the steam room. I loved getting in there and get get all sweaty from that

in addition to the to the workout. So I'm in there doing that thing and I come back and I'm like, Okay, I gotta get my stuff out my wallet and my my car keys, and I go to locker number seventeen and I punched in the code and I twist and uh. I twist again and wait, wait a minute, me, let me punch in the code again. And so I punched in the code again and I twisted and uh. And then I'm like, well, when maybe it wasn't locker number seventeen,

it was locker fifty. So then I went over to locker fifteen and I punched my coat in and uh and then I twist at it and uh and and nothing. Nothing happened. So then I'm like, all right, it must be seventeen. So I went back to seventeen and I tried again and and no, And so I started panicking because I have my car keys and my wallet in this locker and I'm not sure whether it's seventeen or fifteen, but I think it's seventeen. And I'm like, what's going

on here? And so I have to to go to the front desk at the gym, and this this overnight guy who's like, just leave me alone. You know. He's like, I'm a nice guy, but he's like, leave me alone. He's there overnight and I have to tell the guys like, hey, I need you to help me out. I need you to do me a solid. Here. I I locked my my lock I can't remember the code. I can't open the locker. And then the guy's like, well, you know I can't do anything. Give me ten minutes, right, So

then ten minutes go by, he comes over. How embarrassing is this, by the way, So the guy comes over and he has a master key because he's a public locker, so they can open him up whenever they want. He uh, he comes over and real quick he opens it up and I got my stuff back. So I'm like, okay, now we're good. So next time I use the locker, now this time I make complete and I'm making mental notes.

I've got my phone with me, I'm taking pictures the whole thing, right, and uh, here's the code I punched in the hand of guy. I had this whole thing figured out and then never gonna happen to me again. Same thing happened. So I work out. I go back to the locker and I'm like, you know what's going on here? And I have to do the walk of shame. Same guy, the same guy is that the same guy, Danny. This guy gives me the look, are you the biggest moron in the world? What is are you stupid? How

are you able to get out of bed and function? Now? He's giving me that kind of look like you drove the short bust, didn't you? You were on back His look of like if he could kill you with a stair, he did. And so it turns out the guy I finally figured out what had happened. So the locker was so delicate, and I guess this week I had really fat fingers because it's so sensitive that I barely touched the the code and it moved like one number, and you know, all it takes is one number and then

that's it, you know. So I I had the past code, right, but I, in my I guess my rush to twist the lock and lock it, I hit the I hit the thing and it was very embarrassing, Danny. It was very embarrassing. So what's the number? I couldn't remember the number? Fumbling with fat fingers. It's not not good. There there will be revenge, but I guess we have different revenge right now. Rather than my revenge against that locker, there's

other revenge to discuss. Yes. Yeah, last week on the podcast, I made a meme joke, not mean, but meme about Chick fil A, the where you I was gonna take the I was gonna corral the chickens. Remember we got that mail bag question about killing one chicken a day in your car or one human sized chicken once per

year without notice. So I went with the daily chickens because I said I would corral them, and like that meme, I would open up a food truck only on Sundays right outside Chick fil A and call it side chick. So that's a good right. You know. I think Chick fil A is in tight with God because of how they close on Sundays. Because of that, this was God punishing me. A couple of mornings ago. I wake up groggy at six am. I need to go unlock the school.

I'm there on the early shift on We're gonna work a couple of hours that morning, come home, change, and then go to the studios. So I am putting on wrong colored socks and forgetting things. And I do what I do at six am on a weekday. You know, you're not exactly with it. So I'm about five minutes late. I run down the stairs and I'm like, I need to grab something to eat because obviously I need some brain power right now. Run to the kitchen. You'll love

this from Costco. We have all those egg white sandwiches. Oh yeah, my, I'm not a breakfast guy because I only eat once the day. My wife loves those sandwiches, egg white sandwiches. She's yeah, they're really good. So I grab it out of the freezer. But I don't like eating those kind of breakfast sandwiches without Ketchup. I need at least one little Ketchup packet. So I go to the drawer where I've left some Ketchup packets and my Tinderoni.

God bless her O c D. She organizes that drawer often, and she does not like condiments being in drawers, so she'll usually a throw them away. He put them in little zip block bags. Hey, and she's even taken pictures of this drawer after she's cleaned it and organized it and sent it to me while I'm at work, Like I'm gonna be impressed. She knows it. It It irritates me that I don't have the condiments I need. So in that drawer, ben there should have been one zip block

bag that had some ketchup packets. Nope, they were gone. She probably tossed them. So there's only one little zip block bag in there, and it had Chick fil A sauces, not ketchup. But I need something, so I grabbed two of the packets out of there. It's half dark. I don't even know which two I grabbed, but I place them on top of my book and my cell phone and I walked down the stairs and out to the car. As I sit down in the car, my hands literally stick to the staring wheel. Oh no, And I am like,

what is it? What the hell? What? And I looked down and on my shorts is that sweet Polynesian sauce from Chick fil A? Yeah? Sure, that's what it was on your short stack? How you close on my hands too? So Timderoni was home, so I don't think I you know that feeling when you're a groggy be running behind and see you have no time for some bullshit like this. So I quickly get the hand sanitizer, trying to get

this sticky sauce off my hands. I'm pondering whether or not I should run back inside and switch out the shorts. I kind of glance at my shirt. I don't see any signs on my shirt. So I'm like, well, let me just get through this couple of hours. I need to get over there. So I get down to the school, unlock the campus, get to the classroom who lets the kids in early? Doing the walk of shame though to the classroom because as I'm walking, I'm finding dried up

sauce on my arm. I looked down and it's on my Nike. I mean, how much freaking sauce was in this little packet? And then also I'm pissed because I'm like, how did this packet get opened up? Was it opened a little bit in the plastic bag in the drawer and it got put away like that? Uh, not very possible with all that O C D going on in the kitchen. I don't know what happened. Did I have fat fingers like you? And I accidentally squeezed it and

squished it as I was walking? So I get I opened up the classroom, sit down, and I do a better scan now that I'm there, and I'm a little I'm trying to relax on the left side of my shirt. Ben It's like war stripe all down the side of my shirt. Now I see how it got to the shorts and to the Nike. My left Nike has sauce all over it. I got it all over me. I get a good morning text from my girl and it says, good morning. What the hell happened? I'm cleaning up a

trail of sauce down the stairs. Oh man? So yeah, Chick fil A got me back, and they got me good. They are in tight with the one only uh and his son above. Yeah. So a couple of questions. First of all, did you did did it taste like the taste with the sauce was did you actually taste did it taste all right? Or or was it just just dreadful? I mean I threw the packet away as you did, you didn't even get to enjoy. And then and then did you figure out when you did in your head?

Like what happened later on? Did you determine when the mistake was made? Like when did now? Remember I took two packets, so there was one that survived, but it happened to be that buffalo uh, And you can't put that on an egg white breakfast sandwich. That would be that would be a tough eat. Yeah, buffalo wing sauce on a breakfast. So I had to go, you know, sauceless for the for the breakfast sandwich. And then I thought about it. Yeah, I retraced my steps before the

first kid arrives at the school. I read my book and I placed the two sauces on top of my book, the egg white sandwich on top of my book, and I carried it down the stairs like it was a tray. So in my mind, I'm thinking, there's no way I pressed down on the packet and exploded it. I still have no idea how this thing opened up. The amount of sauce that came out of this band, you would think, you would think I spilled five packets on myself. It was like the clown car of of condiment package right,

just kept coming out and out and out. And I was like in like some kind of magic trick or something like that. Oh, it was like my friend Rusty Pena when I was a little kid. Him and his family and his uncle and his aunt and his little cousins and his nephew, and his mom and dad and sisters and brothers. They would all hop out of the same station wagon and I was like, Rusty, how did you guys all fit in there? And He's like, oh, we just all squished in there. I was like, damn, man,

you have like four generations in one car. Yeah, that you've You've got to be able to move like a gymnast, right you. A contortionist is what you have to be able to getting cars like that. I who were working in San Diego, I would see that from time to time people driving around and I didn't. I haven't seen it much around here, but I'm sure it happens. But oh, and remember the far back seat faced out? Yes, yes, so my stepdad would tell us, if you it in

the very back, you're on highway patrol. Watch. No. That was cool. I remember as a kid, I had relatives that had the station wagons with the seat facing out in the back, and I was thought, I was like the coolest thing in the world to sit back there. I was like, that's awesome, man, I love that. I didn't get to do it very often. I did it a couple of times, but I was like, man, I

was like a boss, like sitting out there. They don't do that anymore, we do You think you could sell that if you made cars like those old school cars, but they were more fuel efficient. Do you think people were buying the minivan replaced the station wagon the minivans of the new station wagon, and the wagons were some ugly fucking cars. Man, Oh they were bad. I watched

the documentary. I think I mentioned it on this podcast before you were part of the podcast, Danny, And there's these dudes that collect station wagons, like old school nineteen seventies, nineteen sixties style station wagons, and they're they've become collectible now crazy. Yeah, they collect the ones with the fake wood paneling. Yes, yes, yes they do. I'm telling you. I think I saw it on YouTube. Maybe it was on Netflix, but it was a few years ago. Just

google it. There's a documentary about station wagons, and it was pretty interesting. It wasn't the greatest documentary I've ever seen, but it was pretty pretty cool, probably because of nostalgia, right because I'm, you know, around the same age, Danny, and we both remember the station wagon and all that from back back in the day. Alright, So moving on from that, turning the page, I've got a fleabag update. Now Bella. I don't talk about Bella Bella very much

my dog. Yeah, Bella is the bark boss of the Mallard Mansion. She is the ship too of the house. And this week Bella was very upset with Now why was Bella upset? You asked, Is it true that Bella was annoyed because of an uninvited house guest? Yes, my wife decided that we needed to help the handyman. There's a guy that was a contractor who's been doing some work from time to time sporadically as we're still getting

stuff done here at the Mallard Mansion. And so this guy is a good, good dude, and he works hard and all that stuff, and he's been helping us with some projects at the house. And so his car broke down and he was staying at somebody's house and he couldn't keep he has dog with him, and so he needed us to watch his dog. And of course, my my wife's like, okay, let's do it. And so we

welcomed the dog Katana Uh to the to the homestead here. Now, she spent several nights at the Bread and Breakfast, the Bed and Breakfast this week, the Betty Bed and Breakfast. It's it's a puppy. It's a French bulldog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, I've never really dealt with French bulldogs. I've always been more of an English bulldog fan. But I gotta tell you, the French bulldogs growing on me a little bit. And but Bella was very annoyed that this dog was. It

was hanging around, and Bella likes her space. She's a one dog kind of woman, and she was very bitchy with the other dog who just wanted to play. Because the dogs and the other dogs a puppy, the French bulldogs and puppy, and so the dog just want to play. And the fleabag rumble was on. It was on like Donkey Kong. Now I'm doing the show from here about half the time from the Mallard mansion. The other half of them in the studio giver take and I can't

have dogs barking, you know, behind me. I can't. I can't do that. So unfortunately, the French bulldog had to to go outside, uh get to get away for a little bit. But it was it was pretty cool. This dog full of energy and you know, as a puppy plays fetch. This is like the greatest dog I've ever been around to play fetch. Every other dog I've had, they never actually returned the ball. Like Bella is so lazy. She's an old dog. She'll play fetch, she'll go get

whatever you throw. She'll walk back and then it's the most frustrating thing, Danny. I don't know if you've ever had this with a dog or anything, but Bella will walk back with the two toy and then she'll drop it just far enough away you can't reach it. Yeah, yeah, like she's she's figured out, Okay, you're sitting down, so if I dropped this like three and a half feet away, you won't be able to reach it. And she does it every time. But this other dog was was great

and uh very what's the word bashful? These French bulldogs, if you yell at them, they mope around. They get really depressed, very sensitive. Yes, yes it was. It was interesting. I love the personalities of these different dogs and but but anyway, it was cool. And these French bulldogs are full of muscle, and it's not like the dog works out but just ripped, absolutely ripped naturally from the genetics, the doggy genetics. So that was that was an interesting.

A couple of days there with a extra dog. How did Bella celebrate once she got the mansion back to herself. Yeah, I think she pooped in the house and urinated in the house, saying, ha, this is my territory, you losers, clean up my ship right now, is what she said. We did. Anyway, Uh, the the commercial overload, Danny, Now, we have a recording session every week. We talked about this a little bit inside radio, and every week, once

a week, usually it's only once a week. I will have to record a bunch of commercials, a bunch of spots we call them, and you hear them on Fox Sports Radio, on my show and every once in a while on some other shows. Now, this past week we set a new record, a brand new record. Typically I will record anywhere from two to five commercials, usually like three to five commercials a week. But this was commercial overload I recorded. You might take case how many spots? Danny?

I think I have a good idea because I had to go through a few of these with Covino and Rich. Did you have breeders cup? There was a Breeder's cup, There was that a Discover card, there was a discover Yeah, you have about eighteen tire rack. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it was. I think it was I forgot the action. I think it was around I think oh

my goodness. Yeah yeah. On Wednesday night this past week, I didn't get home until nine pm, and it was because I sat in there putting together ten different commercials. And then as I was leaving, I was all proud of myself. An email came to my company inbox and it was nine more commercials that were due by Friday. Yeah, so, I mean, I don't I don't mind. I like doing the commercials, but the problem is it's it's such a fine line. They give you usually a lot of copy

and they only give you a little time. It's like trying to to put twenty five pounds of you know what in a ten pound bag. But these were actually not that bad. I feel like they've done a better job. Maybe I'm I'm wrong on this, but they weren't. They weren't is loaded these commercials, so there was a little more wiggle room to read them because you've got to nail the spot. You have sixty seconds. You don't you

can't do fifty eight, you can't do sixty one. It's got to be exact, and there's usually too much copy there, so you have to speed read and that's a pain in the behind. And as why I love the podcast commercials because there's no time on it. You can go as long as you want. Who cares the podcast commercial? So I go along and all that. Now, Covino and Enrich do they trade off doing the commercials or they both do the commercials? How's that work? They trade off?

Covino goes first and then Rich finishes the spot. Oh so they share the spout case so they are both fun Like I thought one of them would do one spot and the other would do the other. Thought about doing that, but the beginning of the script said this is Covino Enrich and so they're like, oh, we better both jump on it. Okay, but but this and this is a great thing at Fox Sports Radio is doing very well. It's a testimonial to the listeners right that

the advertisers are there. And yeah, thank god, otherwise we wouldn't have roofs over our heads exactly. We wouldn't be able to afford to go to Chick fil A and get sauce packets and spill them all over ourselves and all that stuff. So it's always cool when things are going well, and especially in this economy where I'm thinking, Danny, we're gonna be paying ten dollars a gallon eventually here in California, for I think the hell is going on

with that. We got down to what six bucks, and we all started dancing in the streets, and then it slowly crept back up to seven over a couple of weeks period. And then now we are looking at some gas stations that are over seven dollars right now. Well that's the thing. When it goes up to ten dollars, will be like, oh, it's down to seven. We've made it. We've made a great deal. This is wonderful. So they're they're training us, they're indoctrinating us, the oil companies and

the evil politicians in California. Last Friday, I went to a high school football game out here, and speaking of Chick fil A, they were selling Chick fil A chicken sandwich is at snack bar. That's yeah, that's cool, right, I'm like, I haven't eaten yet. I had a rush here to the game after work, so I got one. It was seven dollars now, normally at a snack bar, seven dollars for a sandwich, you'd be like, man, But I I thought to myself, that's not bad. That's like

getting a gallon of gas. Dude. Oh my god. I got gas this week and I I think it was like eighty five dollars and it wasn't even an empty tank. And I'm like, you know, what are we doing here? You know what? It's just really you know necessary, I go over to Arizona and save money on gas, or got friends who live in Florida or Texas, and that's it's it's amazing. Once you cross the state line, gas goes down by three dollars a gallon. Yeah, it's insane. Yeah.

And the politicians. I heard an interview this past week. They were talking about how left up the California politics are. And they have a special blend of gas that they are convinced makes the the air clean. They're convinced that's the reason the air is cleaner in California. But there's other people that say, no, it's really the pollution was mainly from the planes and things like that, and they and so there's this debate about whether it's on any

difference at all. But California is the only state. The politicians here so fucked up. It's the only state that as is blended of gas. So all the other states use different blends of gas, and they can trade gas between states and so, but California's like, bend you over here. It's all right, moving on, We got the backscratch a

real quick. We got shut out lest last week. These are people that take the time out on the Apple podcast page with the fifth hour to give us a review real quick, Danny, do you think we got shut out this week? How many reviews did we get? I'm gonna say we got one review that is correct. We got a one hitter. Our guy Adrian in the Mile High City. This guy is a super duper fan of this program and the the Overnight Show. Hard working guy, great family man, and he gave us five stars. He said,

scratch my back. Benn and Danny G make me laugh every podcast. The Saturday Life and Times of Mallard and Danny G is my favorite episode of the weekend. About that, uh, he says, I'm loving Benny versus the Penny and podcast format on Friday's I'm always listening in the meter reader car at work. Well, God bless you, Adrian. We thank you for that, and we'll get out on that note, we get the mail bag. Maybe Adrian will be in the mail bag tomorrow as well. You never know anything

to promote here, Danny g at all. Anything you have coming up here or you're are you clear and free, or you've got something going on. I'm still gonna keep my Saturday shift. Um, so I'm gonna go in and help out Jonas Knox for his two hours show eleven am to one pm here on the West Coast. So then after that Steve Hartman and e from salom Prime College Football, real Estate. Right there, have a great rest

of your Saturday. If you're listening to us on Saturday, people download the podcast whenever they wants, so maybe it's Sunday, maybe it's Monday, who the hell knows. Yeah, what's up, future listener. That's right, and we will talk to you next time. Enjoy your day and we'll catch you on the mail Bag on the Sunday Pod later. Skater gotta murder, Gotta go