Kabooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere.
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g Happy Saturday. As we are hanging out together here the twenty sixth day of April, and yet another day of the NFL Draft. And I Am not going to sit here and pretend like I was watching every eye on my phone, Danny the NFL yesterday, the Draft. I was focused on other things, but I would go check. I wasn't sitting on the edge of my seat watching the draft.
I did have it on my phone, and I would.
I would look over every like ten minutes or so, and I like the Rams had. They didn't even have a pick in the first round because they trade it out of the first round, which I'm fine with. I don't care because I want to see that they picked, and so they picked like fourteenth in the second round, so I had to keep checking back and all that. But I was not hanging on the edge of my seat for every single pick in the second round. So I'm proud of myself that I actually have things going on.
I've got stuff going on.
You know what I'm saying. I was just there locked in on everything.
You got cookies to bake.
Yeah, I'm bet Benny Crocker, not Betty Crocker. I'm Benny Crocker. So I got things to do. Man.
I Actually I pay too much.
We've talked about this in past years, but I'm one of the weirdos who watches pretty much every minute of not later, not like the sixth, seventh rounds, but you know, I would say one through four and even the start of five. I pay attention. Why because my favorite team is the Raiders. This is our super Bowl annually, this is our super Bowl.
I got you.
I mean, I come from FM picks Land, you know, the Rams. And also I'm just bitter because I've been sold to Billy Goods on so many draft picks over the years that this guy's the next great you know whatever, it's a whole cottage thing, and I just have been so turned off by those prognostications over the years that it's like, I know it's good for the show, and I do look for storylines to talk about, and obviously there's some things in the second and third round that
will be good talk radio. In the olden days when we were kids, the NFL's draft would still be going on if they if they had continued to spread this thing out, because when I was little, I think the draft was like thirteen rounds the NFL draft, And of course, obviously now.
They've cut that back a lot.
By the way, is Shaudor Sanders still inside his private club at the.
Green Green Bay Green Room.
Did he have a three day deal with the sound man that they gave him for his concert in there?
Yeah? Yeah.
Let me point out though that the Shudhar Sanders, if Southwest Airlines brings back that those want to get away commercials, that would be the one to get away moment for sus Oh my god, holy craft.
Do you know when weeke they showed a camera on him and he was just on a field throwing a football around, and they're like, there he is throwing a football around. Just waiting to be drafted. I don't know what's worse, hanging out in a green room or out on a field throwing a football around like looking like Charlie Brown.
Yeah.
Well, the fall of Shooter Sands. We used to talk about how this guy fell and that guy fell.
The fact that he did not get picked in the second or third round is just crazy.
For the rest of our lives, probably, Danny, if a quarterback falls in the draft, they'd be like, what could always be worse? You could have been Shudar Sanders. You know, it could always be worse.
And it's going.
To be like that because to think that he was projected two months ago being a top five pick in the draft and what's happened this weekend is just just absolutely nuts. By the way, it is National Pretzel Day today, so celebrate appropriately, Danny.
National Pretzel Day today.
That's my go to at a sporting event. If they have the melted nacho cheese that you can the cup of cheese you can get on the side with the warm pretzel lightly salted, that's the go to.
Yeah, all right, you want some pretzel fun facts, I have pretzel fun facts.
I come prepared. Danny fun facts.
Let's go.
This is not just some two bit weekend podcast. No, the annual worth of the pretzel industry in the United States. You want me to give it to your give you the number you want to guess.
It's in the millions.
How much is the pretzel industry worth in the United States.
I'm going to say two hundred and thirty two million dollars.
All right, fine, answer, you did not go over, so you do win the showcase. The answer five hundred and fifty million dollar business an annual worth in the pres that's an industry.
That's a lot of dough. Damn, that's dough and on average.
Now, keep in mind not everyone does eat pretzels, but the average consumption in pounds of pretzels by your average American per year, so yeah, we're average. How many pounds of pretzels, give or take will the average American eat per year?
Average?
Are pretzel fun facts of the fifth hour.
I'm going to say each American probably ten pounds. No, you have gone over, Danny. You do not mean I'm thinking of myself at sporting events.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, No, it's at one point five.
That's wimpy, that's very wimpy.
Hold on, let's do some malormath on this whole mother sec. Let's see here, what is the what is the population in America? What are we like three hundred and thirty million or something like that?
Is that? Am I?
Right? I guess I should have checked that into account.
Yeah, so let's let's do the math here.
So how many If it's three hundred thirty, let's do three three you're listening to live math coverage now on the podcast, three hundred million, and then you got one point five.
Not a numbers guy, but.
But that doesn't seem to add up. Well, No, three hundred million, and but one point five.
You just have to do the one point five times three hundred million, right.
Wouldn't that be the math?
Carry the one?
Let's see you.
I'll just do one point five times three hundred Yeah, four hundred and fifty. So then you extrapolate that and it's a lot. The answer is a lot. It's a lot of dough. Anyway, Joy Pretzel Day, Enjoy Pretzel Day. On this podcast, We've got the Tiki Mania, the Mountain Lion update, and the Strike Force.
We've got a lot of stuff to get to.
We'll begin with this so a spur of the moment, last minute out of nowhere trip out to the wild blue yonder. Last weekend The Life of malor the Life of Danny g I know you're dining O what we are doing, and that's why we have this podcast. But last weekend I got a message, Hey, I'm going to be in Nevada and if you're able, would love to see you. This is one of my cousins that lives
in New York. And so we said sure, why not, and last minute packed up the Malamobile and headed to Sin City for a get together at the it was last Saturday.
Now we drove, make made the trip we always drive.
We never flied to Vegas and so went hypersonic speed through Apple Valley, Barstow, went past Zazi's Road or Isaac's Road or they call it through Baker said hello to the mad Greek, Thearren. Baker kept going over to Prim, very depressing Whiskey Feeds.
I was gonna say everything is closing.
Oh yeah, there's only one hotel left in Prim. There's that big gas station on one side, there's a truck stop gas station on the other near Whiskey Pets. And then there's one hotel, Buffalo Bills. I think that's the only one left. The mall's pretty much gone. There's a couple of scattered restaurants.
It is.
Yeah, it's a ghost town. That's wild.
Anyway, So we go through there and it finally got to Vegas and a lot of traffic around the desk Star. We were unaware that last weekend was WrestleMania and it was popping. It was massively the wave of humanity that had ascended in Vegas.
I saw the video when it led out and people were just crammed like sardines, and it reminded me of our recent past episode where we were talking about being claustrophobic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it was It was wild. I didn't know what was going on.
Bad job by me, I'm not, you know, and watching wrestling every week and all that. I did get a lot of messages from people that were very excited, fans of the Malad militia that are like, hey, Russep's back, you know, And I guess he made his debut on his return actually on Monday night raw, I guess, but it.
Wasn't a wresmating.
But anyway, I was there for wrestlming and he I was not there for Wrestlmening it was going on. So I went to meet my cousin from New York and then some other relatives scattered around the West on my cousin's side of the things. They showed up, so we were all hanging out and then we pretty much just did that and we went to one of my favorite
pizza places is over in Henderson. So we were over in Henderson and ate some delicious pizza, fried cheese and just just wonderful, and took off from there and we went to a tiki bar, because there's a bunch of tiki bars, and this place in Vegas it was so cool, little crappy like it was. I'm trying to describe it. It's like your typical suburban. It's a mall, not a mall, you know, the strip mall. I guess got a strip mall. Yeah,
strip mall, that's the word I was looking for. So it's a strip mall and there's nothing special about it. And like everything, it's like we're there like one in the morning and everything's open. Place is packed and the coolest thing. We got out of there went to the Tiki bark is. My wife likes going to those things, and so we.
Get out across the street they are we hear this.
Like that it's a tire repair shop, twenty four hour tire repair shop.
It's like two in the morning, three in the.
Morning, and people are getting their tires were replaced at this this twenty four hour tire shop. As while like, that's the way to do it. Man, that's my kind of schedule there. That's how they roll in Vega. You know you want your tires replace it's three in the morning, no problem, we got you. That's that's the way to go. So we had We had a good time. It was a short trip. Got a little stomach issue on the way back, so unfortunately the wife had to drive back.
But I was good by the time we got back. So there was that. I did not see any mountain lions on my way back. I drove through Death Valley in the same strip obviously that we took to get to Vegas.
I didn't see any. But we we did have a fun trip back and right back to work.
Immediately when you got back to La So we didn't have much time much downtime with this podcast and everything going on now.
I actually just sent you two text messages that you're going to receive right now.
Okay, I'm going to look you.
I would like to alert all the affiliates down the line that Ben is looking at his cellular device.
Oh okay, I'm looking right now.
Yes, the world's most expensive and largest wildlife crossing in the world. Ben one hundred million dollars well spent by taxpayers money and the Annenberg family. And if you see the picture I took as I was crossing underneath of it the other day to go to the network, you see that their name is on it. Now, so that's what how many I'm not sure what part of the cost they covered, but they got their name. They got their name on the damn thing. Though it says now Ironnberg Wildlife crossing.
Are humans allowed to use it?
Like? What do they do? Do they kill a human? If a human being crosses over it?
Do they shoot them? Is that because that's for the wildlife?
Why not?
Sure?
It says grand opening coming in twenty twenty six, So does that mean like all the animals are gonna line up with fanfare and.
It's gonna be It's gonna be like Noah's ark. They're gonna have every animal cross at the same time.
When I read about them and I read about the grand opening, that's what I pictured. Now this article from ABC seven in Los Angeles, it says first layer of soil was laid down for the wildlife crossing over the one on one freeway. You and I spoke about this when the fires were happening here. When when this turns into a fire hazard because obviously, look at all those lanes of traffic in both directions. It's really hard for fire to cross a freeway with that many lanes from
one side to the other. But now with this soil and grass on top of what happens when that grass dries out on top of the wildlife crossing.
I'll tell you what's going to happen. First of all, though the fire is going to spread.
Secondly, some attorneys will be running commercials on radio where you're damaged by the fire that crossed over the wildfire bridge. We'll, you know, contact us, will sue the Innenburg group or whoever.
Yeah, yeah, this is the other dude, I've noticed it.
I saw a story about this too the other day, and the comments of people that think they're saving the world.
It's wild to me.
It is it is next level, like they are so convinced that this is the way to do it. Uh, and it just I don't know, I don't get that mindset, but it's not me. It just seems very bizarre to me. But how many homeless people do you think could sleep up there?
What do we look at it?
You can fit a lot of tents right, they got water, they could go to the swing, they could swim there. They could use one of the little ponds for swimming. The other one they could use as a bathroom.
Have you ever been to Calabasas slash Agora Hills, California. There are no homeless people in those towns. The cut off line is Woodland Hills and they should.
We should get some buses go down to skid Row. We can drive them up and then home.
Man that if you think about it, though, what a sly place that would be to set up camp right above the freeway there you know you're you're not far from the off ramp. You could hold your sign there on the off ramp and then go back. There's there's some utility stairs on both sides of the Wild Cross wildlife crossing, so you probably could set up camp up there. But I think what's going to happen is it's going to be a shit show. And I don't wish this
to happen. I don't want this to happen. But if we get another fire like we had recently just a few months back, and it crosses that bridge, that's gonna be a big issue because right now, there are no freeway overpasses right there for fire to jump.
They just made one.
Yeah, well they'll say it would have happened anyway, it wasn't the bridge.
You know, they'll come up with some that's bullshit because there's no there's not even any cement crossings right now. They put a grass crossing, Well you're gonna say, what three to four mountain lions per year? But you could possibly endanger how many houses with a wildfire. I just I look into my crystal ball and I think this could be a major issue down the road.
Well, you just don't care about skunks that want to cross the road, Okay, that's your problem.
Yeah, this is going to help endless squirrels and the owls. This is going to totally hook the owls up because you know, they can't figgure out how to fly over the freeway so they can just walk across.
Yeah, like penguins.
Oh, I hear you, man, we did have a strike.
If you were listening to the Overnight Show this week, some of you have sent me messages on that. We don't need to actually break that down too much, but I got well, I guess we'll talk about it here. I'm not going to answer all the emails. And there were like three of them, I say a lot, there were three. So Blind Scott decided he was protesting, he was going on strike, and then he recruited Supermarket Steve,
of all people, to go on strike. Yeah, so these two jackasses, these jackwagons, decided to go on strike from the show. Of course, it lasted all of one day, Danny one day, and it was one phone call by Blind Scott saying strike, strike, strike, Strike, strike over and strike strike over and over and over and over and over and over and over all that nonsense. And then super Marike Steve complaining because of Mike the Leprechaun and some other issues that he had.
And it always.
Fascinates me, Dan. We've talked about this before. It is a radio show. It is not an airport. You do not need to announce your departure. There's no need to announce your departure. And it's just these guys needing attention, right, they're just their attention starved.
To make attention.
This is their way to do it, and it's like a reality show and that's their grand finale.
But it's not really their grand finale because.
Hey, they're like, we just want you to know that we're here, and we're not getting enough attention. So it's like, come on, it strikes on it. Who strikes on a radio show.
It's so stupid.
These guys that complain, like some of you complain about certain people to call the show, Danny.
These guys that call in are on for what two minutes? It's two minutes.
It's nothing. It's a grain of sand on the beach. It's absolutely nothing. To get all worked up into it a lad about. I don't understand. It's like, not everyone that calls the show is a good caller. In fact, most of the people that call the show are not. We all understand that there's no need to h to jump up and down and scream and shout and all that.
Come on I'm a doctor.
Knock it off, buccaroo, Okay, it just stop stop stopping, stopp yes anyway, Uh.
Not everybody is Genie.
No, there's you know, Genie's in all the time. I wish I'd put Geenie on the air more. Back in the day, I got to know were there people who are upset with Genie too? People would send me messages. Was she on so much? She's not in your demo, she's you know, you're not supposed to get older women to call the show. We're trying to get young dudes. What's wrong with you? I don't want to hear what she has to say. She didn't even talk about sports. Yeah,
I know, she doesn't talk about sports. That's the beauty of her phone calls. She doesn't talk about sports. Okay, she's not at their mining data to come up with some statistic.
By the way, the other day, I I.
Don't listen to a lot of sports radio, and I happen to be listening to something on the app and then it ended up you know how you hit the wrong button and it ends up on a It was a local sports station that popped up.
I don't even know how that happened on the iHeart app.
I was listening to something else and it popped up local station some listening, and it was some dude talking baseball and he was just giving like analytics and ganny.
You know that.
Sounded like I wanted to take a sharp object and poke my ears out listening to this moron.
Numbers are fine and all that.
But you cannot just sit there and read off a bunch of percentages and data projected probabilities, and I mean.
It's just it's terrible. It is so bad.
And this I don't even know who the person was, and I only listened for like forty five seconds, and it was so terrifically terrible.
Just like you cannot you can't do it.
You can't just read a bunch of metrics or whatever nonsense mumbo jumbo you have.
No it's a bad listen.
I don't even like baseball talk on the radio, to be honest with you. Not network talk on AM five seventy LA sports when you fill in there. I get it in the local affiliates all across the country talk away with your local baseball team, but nationally to try to talk baseball really really difficult.
You can do it. But you can only do it if it if it.
Has broad appeal, if it's not narrow, like if there's a story that crosses over apps.
Like the Sure But yeah, right, that's a good example. But how many of those stories do we get in a baseball season?
Well that's the issue.
Rob Manfraud the commissioner, He's complained about this. He was very upset with ESPN and they'll I've heard they're going to get another deal with the ESPN Baseball, but that's a different they don't have one. Now that's a different conversation. But Manford was upset because the people over there that are gas bags, like Steven A who used to work at our place, and these other morons. They don't talk baseball. They talked basketball, but basketball. I had a friend of
mine who's worked in media for thirty years. He said, Ben, why don't they just not play the NBA games? They just give us enough to talk about. We don't even need the games to talk about. We'll just talk about this stuff off the court. We don't even need the games. Why do they play the games? And his whole point was it's so great because of the drama, because of the behind the scenes stuff that the games and I do break down some of these playoff games.
I have been doing a lot of that, much to.
The disconnect of some people who are upset anytime I talk about it, and well, you're talking about NBA playoff games. It's not the conference finals yet and all that stuff. But the NBA is, for what we do amazing. In terms of conversation, it's great. It's it's the Greek tragedy over here. It's a Shakespearean drama.
It's it's Anthony Edwards grabbing his dick.
Announcing how big his sausages to the world, and it's just, oh, man is outstanding.
I wanted to thank to you the listener, and I forget the name. Somebody sent us these giant cookies. There's a cookie shop in Nashville. We did trade. I made a trade. I was given the Elvis Cookie, which is a banana cream pie type cookie thing.
I traded that. I made a trade with the Coop.
I picked up in the trade the Cookie Monster, which is a blue cookie. It's so big it had like four oreos stuffed in the middle. So I acquired the Cookie Monster cookies. I got the Lemon cookie in the deal. I'm happy with the deal. I went for quantity over quality, and these things are so ridiculous the mistake I made, and these are really good cookies, and I want to think, and I don't off the top of my head, I don't remember exactly the name. I apologize in advance. It's
bad job by me. But in my defense, Lorraine actually opened the box. I didn't even open the box, so I didn't see the name. She told me the name one time.
That was it.
So I opened the cookies up and they had how many calories were on the cookie? Okay, so there's two things about this that pissed me off. The first is that I saw how many calaries were on the cookie.
The second is that's like, that's like seeing the debit card information from your wife exactly exactly.
You just things you don't need to know. You actually, well, you do need to know, but you don't.
Want to know. It was that type of situation.
So I saw how many calories of the cookies were and then that pissed me off. And then the other thing was, now, this is a cookie and I don't have a photo to send you, Dandy, but just imagine the palm of your hand.
Oh no, no, I saw them in the studio. There was one left behind in the studio and Covino and Rich were breaking it into parts. One cookie fed the entire crew. Yes, yes, exactly. It is a massive It's like the size of your palm times ten. So that they say that cookie has six six servings in that one cookie.
How many people are gonna eat that in six servings? You know what I'm saying. Right then?
And then the one and every one of these things was different. But the cook I think it averaged one hundred and twenty five Let.
Me do the matho.
Yeah, it was one hundred and twenty five calories per serving, So there's six servings, so it's like seven it was almost eight hundred calories I think per cookie. This sounds like, oh man, and I don't count calories. I eat once a day, so I could probably be fine doing it and all that.
It's just once, you know.
It's like I could have had a big mac and fries or cookie and I was like, whoa, what is up with that?
All?
Right?
Time now for the phrase of the week, the phrase of the week. My phrase of the week this week is the marching and Chowders Society. We talked about this during the draft, certain people advocating for certain players. A lot of chatter over the weekend about Schadur Sanders, for example, the opening round of the draft back on Thursday night, Dandy a lot of mel kiper with his knee pads on for all Sason.
He definitely was paid by the Sanders family. That was awkward.
They gave him some nil money.
Yeah, that was a little much, A little much anyway. The phrase marching in chowder society or chowder and marching society originated way back in the eighteen hundred and nineteenth century, and it was used for fraternal groups and social groups. And there was the cherry Field Chowder Society founded in eighteen sixty eight in the state of Maine, shout out to our home boys in the state of Maine.
It became later the.
Cherry Field Chowder and Marching Society in the eighteen seventies. And they had a band, they had secret bylaws.
It was like a secret society. They had a special.
Flag, all that crap, and it was like a social club. There was also the East Lawn Chowder and Marching Society, which.
Formed in nineteen oh nine.
That was at the University of Virginia, Go Calves Go and they had a friendly rivalry with the West Lawn group. And that lasted from the nineteen o nine to nineteen to the nineteen fifties. Now the phrase became even more widespread. It was a There was a political fraternity founded in nineteen forty nine by a congressman named Richard Nixon. I wonder what happened to him? I wonder what happened to Richard Nixon? And so that spread it a little further.
The term also appeared in pop culture. There was a comic strip, a comic strip Barnaby in the nineteen forties. There were some other cartoons that featured it. But the thing that caught me when I was doing my main research on this that the phrase was popularized by a sportscaster who had national reach and is credited with continuing to spread marching in shadow society. That sportscaster Danny Vin Scully.
It was popularized by Vin Scully on NBC when he was doing the Game of the Week, and he did football on NBC as well, and he would refer to a player who had a lot of supporters. He'd be like the Marching and Chowders Society for Willie Mays, the Great Vince Scully, Yeah, Vin, Yeah, So that's that's pretty cool. So there you go the phrase of the week, Marching and Chowder Society.
Whoa the rally dowel? And if we have a sombrero, throw it in the sky.
Oh that's got to be racist. So wonderful.
All right, we'll get out on that, Danny, enjoy watching the rest of the draft today and see what happens with all the all the fun and the shadder Sanders. I get the clips today. Game that was a game four Game four Clippers and Nuggets. That'll be this afternoon our time, so I'll be checking that out today and we will be back tomorrow to do it all over again.
What do you say? What a guy?
Later? Skater My Felatia