The Fifth Hour: "San Diego Butts" Mail Bag

Kubbooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's a clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard starts right now.

Eat the air everywhere, and a happy Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, it.

Is the Fifth Hour. You already knew that.

The thirteenth day of October it is National emin M Day today.

I like his second album, The best from the Detroit areapicfin you mean the kind you can eat?

EM and M's created in nineteen forty one, so it's been part of our world before we were around eminem. Now, do you remember when we were kids, they only had a few flavors, a few colors of eminem. Right, They didn't expand until later. You want to gaggle of eminem fum facts? Is that place in Vegas still there? The M and M Store with all the different color eminems? I don't know if that's still there.

I think so.

And so the tagline that we still know melts in your mouth, not your hand, that came out in nineteen forty nine, it's been around for a while.

Had no idea? Was that old?

Why would you change it?

Yeah, And the idea for Eminem's was actually born in the nineteen thirties and they saw soldiers carry these these Smarties chocolate pellets protected by a shell to keep them from melting during the Spanish Civil War.

How about that.

Forest Mars and his son of the Mars company, they the founder, they pitched the idea of the candy that became Eminem's. But it actually has its roots all the way back to the Spanish Civil War.

Wow. And they began that was in the nineteen thirties.

Nineteen forty one they started producing M and M's at a factory in New Jersey, and in nineteen fifty they put that that famous eminem the M printed onto the look there and it was changed to a white M in nineteen fifty four. And they've added obviously a bunch of different colors. I think when it was first out it was like orange, was it? What were the original color like black, orange and brown or something like that.

So could you tell a difference, because I remember my mom saying they all taste the same.

They did tastes different to me. Did they taste different to you?

I thought not really? No.

Yeah.

I liked the blue ones when those came out, because I like the color blue. But they didn't taste any different than the brown's ones. Of the brown or the red or the green or whatever, it's all seemed like the same to me.

Here, I am your crack research staff. The original colors of eminem candies were red, yellow, violet, green, and brown.

All right, I remember brown, I guess I said orange for some reason. I remember orange, but I did not when I was a kid. Eminem's had already been around for but I don't remember the violet one.

I always was. That's interesting. I always wondered why they were called M and M's. You mentioned that forest Mars guy and the other co founder, William Murray m you r ri E, so M and M for the two owners.

You go, so have some Eminem's what's your favorite eminem? You liked the originally old school, you liked the peanut eminem?

Definitely the peanut m and ms. Yes, I will have once in a while a handful of eminems. If that's what's great about those peanut m and ms. You can have like five of them in It's pretty satisfying.

And that's I'm not eating as much. Sure, I'm not baking as much because I end up eating most of it.

I am worried.

The parties are coming up right, the party scene with Halloween and with Christmas and Thanksgiving and all that stuff, So I'll be ending up rap as we get to the end of the year.

Yeah, in our blue kitchen at the Network, this is when people put all the Halloween candy on the counter.

Oh yeah, it's a deadly time of the year. It is a deadly time of the year in more ways than one. So celebrate appropriately National Eminem Day on a random Sunday in October.

What else is it today? Anything else?

Stand out here? I think that's enough. All right, let's get to it. We have the mail bag. These are actual by actual listeners to the show. Are you prepared? Are you ready?

It's mail bag.

The Great Ohio al and first up in the mailbag is a passionate letter from Patrick the Uber Black Driver Patrick aka DJ Spin from San Diego, California. And it appears that my malard monologue in a previous episode of the original Recipe radio show was a great nuisance to my man, my guy, Patrick the Uber Black Driver, that I am now a pain in his ass.

I have given him.

I heard, I heard you offended the entire city of San Diego.

Yes, are you heard about that? All right?

So Patrick writes, and he says, Benjamin, I get what you do. I also am cool with you trashing particular teams. But now, anytime you say the word but.

What does that mean?

You know what that means, Danny, Right, we always we talk about this on the Overnight Show, and it's one of those things that is accurate.

But you're an a hole man.

Well, No, anything before the word but is a lot. Right.

So if you use the word but, everything a person says before the word butt is a lie. You got that from Game of Thrones. You got that from Bruce Willis on Moonlighting back in the day and all that. And so Patrick, when you say I get what you do, I also am cool with you trashing particular teams, but that means you don't believe that. He says the other day, when you completely trashed san Diego as a minor league city, absolutely infuriated.

Me.

Where did you get your start?

I fucking love you, Benjamin, but you absolutely sounded like a dick that night. You have to backtrack what you said about san Diego. He says, talk shit about the Padres. That's fine. You truly overstepped when you called San Diego a minor league city. Do you really want to be that kind of a dick. I've met you a couple of times. You're truly this week guy, backtrack on what you said about San Diego.

Well, I would like to point out, first of all, I do appreciate you listening. I do. You've listened to me for many, many years.

But that patrick what I do and what we do, A lot of it is impromptu, and much of it I get on a rant.

Now.

I have notes, I prepare for the show, I have bullet points, I have things prepared, but in a moment of great passion, like the Dodgers getting their face bashed in by the Padres in a random playoff, game, my instincts kick in, and my instincts is to just unleash the monster, right, release the beast, and just go for it. And it's off the cuff. It's unplanned, it's impulsive, and you start rolling along right, and sometimes things get a little bloody, and sometimes.

You might have some blood splattered around the place, and it just it just really we're all and all that.

And the other issue is people are trying to in sight right the tinder box, and so they start encouraging me, and then this impromptu thing, uh.

Starts going and going and going and going.

But you know, Patrick, that San Diego is a very important city in my my journey through life. That I learned radio at the mighty sixth ninety in San Diego, right there across from the HP station, which no longer exists. The HP is there, but the radio stations is not. And SeaWorld Drive. I remember the off the off ramp, hanging out at the Balboa Park. All that's great memories of San Diego.

Why well, I'm sure that made everything better. You're, as I said, a response there what he did?

It said, but you see what he did?

No, No, in all, in all seriousness, Patrick I know you have the San Diego tattoo. I remember you showed me your Padre San Diego tattoo, your San Diego.

To life and and all that. Again.

What I do, however, is I get on a roll and let it rip, and I would go to San Diego a lot more.

I enjoy going to San Diego.

However, it takes way too long to get there because there's so much traffic from La to San Diego and vice versa.

So yeah, it would be great if we had two major freeways that went into San Diego.

Bodies, hell abodies.

Thank you, though, Patrick, I love that you care that much about San Diego that you're willing to send me that mail, that email ranting and raving. And I don't think that I am some kind of despot, some kind of tyrant. I just go on a rant, get in a ran and Padre fan base was annoying me, so I had to unload and I returned fire.

I do have that famous drop of you where you say, go f yourself, San Diego.

Great moments and broadcasting, but La La Land writes and he says they've been and Danny G can you guys do a wellness check? On Vic the Brick Jacobs and then he says, did you see the story from the Sumo world? And uh, I did not, But I guess the other day there's a there's a story going around that the sumo world is in colossal crisis because a wave of sumo fighters have pulled out because of weight related health issues.

Okay, I don't know we can relate to that.

I love Victor Brick.

VIC is a big fan of sumo LA sportscasting legend, legend Victor Brick. I don't know that is Vic jokozuna, which is the highest ranked the sumo. Probably not, but that that is a problem if guys are big sumo wrestlers and they're having major health issues and they can't.

Be part of sumo anymore.

I could see how that would be problematic in considering how popular that sport is and what a religious experience I am told the sumo world is, I get it. But yeah, Sumo, the ancient sport from Japan in crisis mode. Dozens of fighters have pulled out of the events. They have, among other things, excessive sweating, breathing issues, joint disease, diabetes complications from diabetes as well so diabetes.

Dobbs get that infomercial?

Yeah wi.

So yeah, I have not checked with Vic. I think he'll be okay. I think Rickole he'll be fine.

I don't know if he's talked about this on his local stuff on A five seventy and la or not. Jay from Sacktown Rights Since says, hey bandon Danny Joy the podcast, are either of you guys going to put down the money to buy and Elon bot? Do you see this story the other day, Danny Elon Musk. I guess he unveiled that some wild tech Elon Musk Tesla show or whatever, an army of thirty thousand, According to

Are you in?

Whoa? This is like that Will Smith movie? I robot?

Yeah, the Dystopian Uh yeah yeah kids.

Well if it could safely babysit, I'm in what if.

The power goes out though?

That?

Yeah?

You know, yeah, and that that was the whole premise of the Will Smith movie, was that he and a few other humans didn't trust this population of robots because they could go bad. That's exactly what wound up happening in the movie Dune Dun dumb.

When fiction becomes nonfiction?

Do do do do Do Do Do Do do doo.

I'm looking at some photos of these thirty thousand dollars robots, and I don't know about watching kids, but how about vacuuming, dusting.

I would be good, right.

You know.

I imagine never having to clean your house again because.

You've got your your bot ready to go. That'd be nice, right.

We'd all be living the Mallard life.

Yeah, I guess we got some money here, Jay. I don't know if you saw.

You didn't mention this, Jay, but you mentioned the bot thing. But I did see Elon Musk unveiled a cyber cab, a special Tesla event.

I guess this is where the robots came, serving drinks and all that.

But the the cyber cab, a driverless cab that you have no control over.

You get into, it takes you where you need to go, and you're on your way. Yeah, I don't know about that either. Hey, that's the tough Yeah.

I feel like we need a human behind the wheel if we're gonna strap in.

What's wrong with you? You and your boomers. I can hear the people.

Say, well, no, you've seen the video about how that driverless car was driving against traffic. Too many, too many errors. Still with that kind of technology, you don't want to be the guinea pig.

You want you want to wait.

Several years until all of those things are ironed out. Al from the analyticals Department rights and he says, hey, Ben, sorry in advance for the boring question. Are the ratings for the podcast and the TV show available to the general public. I'm just curious to see how your downloads and clicks compare to that of the other shows.

I do not.

Believe that information is available to the public. And I don't even know the numbers on the TV show. I don't have access at NBC to the numbers. I am told sporadically from one of my bosses. They'll say, hey, the show's doing well or did really well this week.

But even that I don't get that much feedback.

The way I look at it is I put the show out, and you know this, Alf, You just try to make it as good a show as you can make it, and then whatever happens happened. So I don't have any control over that. They brought back the show for season two, so clearly there was enough people watching it. But we have to continue to grow the audience. And now we have more ways you can watch the TV show with it being on Peacock, but those numbers are hard to come by because they can futs around with

But the TV stuff no no bueno, I believe is what they say. They're no no bueno on that.

But thank you Al for your concern and you've been a big part of keeping that going. Alf spends all weekend. I'm not sure exactly what Alf does think. I think he's like a handyman, carpenter type guy. He drives around a lot.

But I think the other thing is he's a man of mystery because he's up all night.

Alf's up all night, and then also you're like, well, what's going on with He's got to work during the day if he has a job like that, so I don't know.

I assumed he was a physicist.

I'm a doctor.

Well, we have a lot of rocket scientists that we do.

Actually have one of the guys that called a lot of calls from Florida during the hurricane as the hurricane was making a landfall. I guess the phones didn't go out until after the storm had passed over.

For a little bit, but guys were calling up.

And a couple of guys worked at NASA back in the day, and now they're they're calling a show following Jed, who fled before we'd ban Hippi gets on the air, so good times Fullerton, the Fullerton Municipal Airport rights in. He says, Hey, Bannon, Danny G. The Raider has played so poorly against the Broncos last week that I think you owe me an apology this time, Danny G.

Are you going to apologized?

Danny?

That was a tough one and now the Raiders have have gone on the death spiral injuries quarterback Chain Yeah, and the Raiders last week did not show up. This has happened now twice this season where they're in the game at halftime and I don't know what they do at halftime. Maybe the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and the orange slices aren't but they come out with no energy, no effort, and just get trucked.

Man.

That was such a strange game because they came out on fire with that long pass play to Bowers for his first career touchdown, and their defense looked good on the first few series, Max Crosby with a couple of sacks, Wilkins with a big sack, and then when they announced that Christian Wilkins was out for the remainder of the game, he gotta be kidding me because he eats up the middle of the field when he wasn't there.

Shit went bad.

And there's really no depth on that defensive line because they already had been using the depth that they had. So yeah, injuries and just sadness right now in Raider Nation. I hope that they could either suck bad enough to get a real top pick or get shipped together to at least finish five hundred.

Or close to figure Yeah.

Yeah, I unders saying and that, And I love Gardner mitchew that pass he through that the Raiders were driving the ball down they would have.

It would have been seventeen to three.

That one bad interception he threw into the end zone turned the entire game around.

You need it, like Yao ming to catch that pass. So I don't know who was he throwing into.

What was that in?

Of course, without DeVante Adams out there on the field, Patrick certain could just roam and do what he did in that regard Adams was missed in that game.

It's the Steelers and the Raiders.

Do you think Aidan O'Connell is going to do anything?

Oh, it's at at best it's a lateral move and at worst it's a downgrade.

Oh maybe I'll be wrong.

You know.

I obviously have some some friends that work for the Raiders now group people I know, so I'd like to see them have success.

But I would not have made that move.

Mike also says, speaking of Fullerton's municipal airport, have either of you considered getting your pilot's license?

You could be in the air everywhere.

If not, have you ever been on a small private plane or a helicopter. That's from Mike. I was on a helicopter when I was a kid. A couple of times I went to a helicopter. But as an adult, I do not believe I've been on a helicopter. I don't recall it. I haven't gone on any of those excursions. I go to Hawaii every so often. I've never done that. Those things crash all the time. I haven't done that one.

So I'm good.

Although I remember this. A sportscaster named Stu Nahan in La told me he was a pilot. He touched around with planes. He said, Ben, the easiest thing in the world is flying. The hardest part is taking off and landing. But the flying part is easy. Once you're in the air, it's a piece of cake. And I okay, So yeah, landing and taking off. Other than that, yeah, you're fine.

Two pretty important parts though, right of the whole thing there kind of you know, when I was on my honeymoon in Kawhi, we did take a little helicopter tour of the coasts.

I love the Yeah, that was amazing.

That's the only time I've ever been on a helicopter as far as the little the LaBamba Planes as we call him. As a kid, my electronics instructor. He lived down the street from me, and he had a son around my age. And not only was my electronics instructor a pilot, he convinced his son to become a pilot. So even while he was still in high school, his son was becoming a pilot, and he took me up

And I've not been on those small places, but I've heard from people that have it's you hear everything, the noises. It's much different experience. Is that accurate that it sounds a lot different?

Yeah, because you can hear every little thing. If you're not the pilot, that makes you very uncomfortable. I think, though, if there was an emergency, how would you handle that? For instance, when this guy was taking his lessons, there was a time where the engines failed and he had to glide to a landing, and instead of crapping his pants, he remained cool and calm and was able to glide if you had to make an emergency landing. Though, Boy, that separates the boys from the men right there.

Yeah, if you have no experience on what you're doing and you're like, I mean, that happens every so often. And then part of me wonders if it's like that episode of The Simpsons, remember that one where they said the trucks drive themselves. Maybe the planes fly themselves and they're on autopilot or something like that. That would be kind of cool. But yeah, it's I'm really into I love flying, but I like flying on those big, safe, commercial flights, relatively safe.

Knock on wood Masshole Mickey.

From the Commonwealth Rights and he says, good morning fellas, Happy football Sundays Sundays Sunday. It's a may day to day for the Pats as Drake may take it over anyway. Masshole Mickey says, I have to admit, Ben, you are the reason I joined X. Never had an account until I started listening to your show. It's great to interact with you and You're and Danny g and play along with your games and try to guess your who am

Once in a while, though, the bots are real. That's how I met My wife.

Is a bot?

Is that right? Yeah?

Last one on the mail bag from Cincinnati. Tommy he says, Hey, Ben, Benny Brightside, and Danny Girodelli, Greetings.

From the Queen City.

I've been listening for about ten years now, and Ben, you talk about your hearing loss on occasion. I have noticed that in the past few years you steadily have become louder, especially becoming very loud, screaming very quickly, then back down to a level that doesn't make me want to throw my iPad. Do you think it's a side effect of your hearing lass? I love you long time, Ben. That's from Cincinnati.

Time.

Well, I would like to report that my hearing has returned to the level it was before, which is substandard, but at least I can actually hear out of my right ear. I could not hear out of my right ear for about a week. It was all clogged up, and I guess I had an ear infection. Didn't realize it. Don't know how I got that. Maybe I went in the pool or whatever at the father in law's house. Yeah, at some point, probably sooner than later, I would say

Are on FM now. It was all on AM. And I remember I had a program director. He said, why do you sound like your FM? You're on AM, You're not on FM. You sound like you're on FM.

But you're doing AM AM one monotone voice and you just keep talking and that's it. You don't go up and down, up and down as a DJ on an FM music station. It's not it's not what you would do on an AM sports station. And I got that lecture from more than one programming person in radio.

But I haven't. I haven't changed.

I used the word, but but I either. I have not changed that. Maybe it's a little louder. I yell a little bit more now than I did back then.

Ben, that's interesting that AM radio used to be like that, because now on sports talk radio you hear a lot of voices that go up and down.

Oh yeah, for sure.

Yeah yeah, But you know this is a long time ago, and you got to keep in mind, Danny.

As you know, we got into radio young, at a young age.

These people had been in radio back you know when I started, they were probably in radio sixties and they were still doing it, you know.

What I'm saying.

So they had been there from the not the heyday, the heyday of radio, I don't know, forties, fifties, whenever before TV took over.

But yeah, so.

Your old PD used to manage Wolfman Jack.

I don't know about that, but what I will tell you, And I know Patrick, who hates me because I ripped San Diego DJ and Patrick there. That was one of the coolest things I told the story. At the mighty sixth ninety there was a tribute picture wall thing for Wolfman Jack the Boss Jack. That was a boss that was a border blaster station the mighty sixth ninety that kids all over the western part of the United States

Right on the boards said Aha California from.

Baha to the Canadian Rockies, and Hacksa pretty much just made up the Canadian Rockies part. But he went with it and people loved it. My old boss Hacksaw back.

In the day.

All right, we get out on that, Danny. It's NFL.

Good luck to the Raiders. I know the Rams are not going to lose today, so I don't have to worry about that.

I was going to say, you're definitely going to be undefeated today.

I am merely watching for Betty versus the Penny, intel and opposition research for next week and all of that, and my right hand will be getting a workout.

My right hand was getting a workout. Go from game to game.

I want to see how Drake May does in that New England game. How does Jaden Daniels do against a terrible Ravens pass defense? You got that Lions Cowboys game today. There's some good, good matchups, at least in theory. As we always say, whether it works out or not, that's why they play the games, that's why.

They play the games. So we'll keep an eye on all that.

Have a wonderful day, and I'll be back tonight on the radio, back tonight doing the overnight show, and then no days off the band and we'll continue to play music all night every night during the week, and then we'll do the TV show next week in week number seven. And we got the whole thing planned out, and Danny, anything you want to promote on this thirteenth day of October.

Here this Sunday, back on the radio for Afternoon Drive with Covino and Rich two to four pm on the West Swide, and that's of course five to seven pm in Virginia Beach, Virginia, Ginia Beach where.

The military planes fly in the air everywhere at all hours of the day. Have a wonderful time today. Whatever you're doing, we'll talk to you next time.

Austa pasta, got a murder. I gotta go.