The Fifth Hour: "Run to the Bowl" Mail Bag

Kubbooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a sore fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

Wow.

It's a clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air.

Everywear a finger licking good, extra crunchy, extra spicy edition of The Fifth Hour with me Hi, I'm Ben and Danny g. We're hanging out on this glorious Sunday, Sunday Sunday. It is National Devil's Food Cake Day here on this nineteenth day of May, when a fine, fine specific holiday. National food Cake Day, very specific, and I've not made Devil's food cake. I should I should do that. Also, celebrate your Elected Officials Day, which is kind of a

Two waiters came up to me to mister Trump, we love you.

How about the news this past week where Trump said he'll take on Biden, He'll accept the challenge there for the debate, yeah, he said, And not only will he debate him, he called him crooked.

Joe Biden wants the debate to happen at like noon because he goes to bed at three, so you have to bait in the middle of the day. There you go, what I'm bumped.

Anyway, I thanks, you could do Eoe, you could do old jokes for both guys.

Now, yeah, this is the greatness of American politics. Here.

Are you looking more forward to this fight or the Tyson fight?

Well? Yeah, I mean I think the debate will be more entertaining because Trump will just go you know, he did what did he care? He's beaking sued. He was trying to put him in jail, so he's just going to go for it. And the Tyson thing, I don't know. I mean, I'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. I'm sure. Danny a bunch.

Yeah, he gave up weed and women during training, so for months he's gonna be without the two things he loves.

Does he need money? I thought he made all his money and weed. He doesn't need money. He doesn't need money. He buts it around.

Yeah, he says he's just doing this for the love of boxing.

Love of boxing. Okay, well, well, what's his name?

Don King?

Show up? Probably not Don's really old but still alive, but really really old. All right, let's get to the mail bag. You're ready for the mail bag. Right to the mail bag we go, Let's get it.

It's alright, mail bag time.

Thank you to those of you that have took taking time out to send letters in and I'm very happy I've not had to post in weeks on Facebook begging for people to send questions. People have been wonderful. We've got some new names which I love to see along with the old names, so good job by you. First one is from JJ from Motown. He says, Hi Ben and Danny Ben. I wanted to know what was the top barbecue you had in Carolina, so I didn't eat too much barbeque. I ate three barbecue meals, three or

Yeah, I loved it. I'm not going to no, no. I could hear the joy in your voice on yesterday's show.

The BUCkies brisket sandwich, the Texas style brisket sandwich was just great. And I had the brisket sandwich at the Lewis Barbecue and they had some really good side dishes and all that. Now I have said, if you follow the show. Years ago, I did a Mallard meet and greet in Kansas City to celebrate the Ben Mallor chicken fingers and it was wonderful. I had a great time. And I will repeat my previous take that the z Man sandwich that I had in Kansas City at what

So thank you JJ.

Mike in Free Parking Fullerton writes and says, I've been and Danny, I'm sorry I missed the Malor meet and greed. I googled my mother's sideburns for hours, but I could not find it, Mike says. He then points out, do you like the taste of water? It may sound like a stupid question, but it's not, Mike says. From that bastion of free parking, he says I have a friend who hates water, so he mostly drinks doctor pepper, which is probably why he's had a bunch of kidney stones.

Yeah, tap water is no bueno. Where are you at on water, Danny?

Uh?

You know I have a smart water in front of me right now, and it's their alkaline version nine point five plus p h.

Take that.

I came from the hood and now I have exclusive bottled water in front of me.

Put down your pipe and smoke it. Yeah, put down your pipe.

Yeah, to my dangerous minds teachers who told me I would never amount to nothing?

Are you like Tom Brady who drinks Remember back in the day, the story was he drinks twenty five glasses of water per day with added electrolytes.

You know, I'm not a fan of drinking a ton of water because I don't like it. I don't like the feeling of its slushing around inside your stomach.

Well, my problem is I keep going to the bathroom. I drink a lot of water, and then I have to go to the bathroom with them. But true, true, Yeah, that's that's the other. But you do feel healthier when you're drinking the right amount of water, because obviously it flushes the toxins out of your system. I'm a big cold water guy. I drink a ton of water, cold water because I heard, actually we talked about this in a podcast months years ago, probably that drinking cold water

Yeah, it wakes up your system.

But here's the problem. It does burn calories, but you'd have to drink so you'd have to drink like five gallons of water to get any real results.

Yeah, you know, Jonas Knox told me that he drinks like gallons of water every morning, not two.

Not three, not four. Yeah, that's just while he's on the air that's hanging out with LeVar.

Are imagine that having to down all those gallons of water while you look at LaVar Arrington's talons up on the counter.

Yeah, well there you go, bare.

Feet up on the board.

My my favorite water story is a reporter from Germany when I was the NBA. Really cool guy, great dude.

We got along very well.

He was a fan of the show, and we used to have dinner quite a bit at these games, at the Clipper and Laker games. That would be at and he would never drink water. And his position was that's where fish fuck. And he didn't want to eat, you know, he didn't want to have that in his body. Oh my goodness. That was But and I tried to point out to him, I said, there's water in everything, like there's water in soda beer. You can't what are you doing? But no, he would not drink just water.

Do you think if you cut this guy open, orange soda would seep out of him?

Yeah? Pretty much right, And it's kig. What are you doing next? Up on the mailbag, Alf from the Fox Sports Radio parking garage. He says, Ben and Danny, Hello, have you ever been Ben? Have you ever been so pissed at Eddie that you thought of inviting Lenny Dykstra in studio without telling him? Also, do you regret not putting Henry Hill on the radio? Already know the answer to that one. Well, yeah, yeah, Henry Hill, he's dead.

Yeah, I could have told us you regretted it immediately.

Yeah. I did not think it was actually Henry Hill. I thought it was just some drunk hobo that was pretending to be Henry Hill. But it was actually Henry Hill. And I'm still that story still blows me away that if you don't know the story. Henry Hill, the famous mob guy. They made a movie about him. He turned FBI and form it but he was living in the Witness Protection program. But he was living in Sherman Oaks

That was it.

And as far as Lenny Dykstra, yeah, I'd love to have Lenny on the show and upset Eddie. That would that would be fun. But I haven't heard from Lenny in a while. He would send me messages randomly. I haven't heard from Lenny in a while. I guess he's upset with me. I don't know what are you gonna do?

Right?

What are you gonna do? He's busy skiing.

A bunch of hookers and cocaine.

Yeah, I will, I think this summer though, we'll get back with do some some interview podcasts. We haven't done a lot of those. It's just been us schmoozing and all that. But I'll do a few of those. There's some people that are relatively big names or whatnot that I haven't talked to in.

A while, like Roberto the bus driver.

Yeah, well, Roberto will get Roberto on, We'll pot with him. We'll have Lorraina on, We'll get some of my play by play friend people around.

All that.

Iowa Sam to regale in the two weeks he worked for you.

It was a great run though. It was the greatest two weeks it was. It was wonderful.

He was on furlough.

Wild Man of Morgantown, West Virginia, rights and fun fact. Wild Man my brother, on his way back to Wisconsin, just kind of lollygagged around. He drove through West Virginia, said it was beautiful. The scenery in West Virginia is just absolutely beautiful. Anyway, wild Man says, Hi Man and Danny G. I used to compare myself with Tom Brady when talking to peeps at a bar. We are both the same age. Also, people call us the goat. Him because he's the greatest of all time. Me because I'll

I do like spice and small doses. I couldn't eat a whole meal of major spice. But when I was doing one of my first morning shows, we did a hobb and narrow, a hot hobbin narow contest between the crew, and we actually took bites out of the hottest peppers on Earth, and we had to have like lots of glasses of milk on st or as you call it. Milk on standby because we were Oh my goodness, I remember going home Ben. And let's just say the exit velocity of those peppers was nothing nice.

There's a bottom I rate to bring the gas.

You feel it coming in? You feel it? Yeah? Oh yeah? Now is the hobb and narow? What is it? The red Savina hobbanarow? Is that the hottest?

I know?

There was the Carolina Reaper, that's right, which is very hot.

We had all the different colors of the peppers and all of them, you know, cut open with the seed showing, and we each had to take a nice, big juicy bite of seeds. In all almost died that day.

Wow. I like to think I'm someone that likes hot food, but I don't really. I mean, I'll eat the hot salsa, but that's not like dragon's breath pepper salsa. You know, it's not that. It's as my friend Alex, who passed away years ago, used to say, it's grango salsa. You know, it gives you the illusion that it's a it's actually yeah, spicy, but it's not like you'll get in Mexico.

Now, how about this for wild Man Coop legendarily has eaten petroleum jelly. Yeah, he's eaten like twenty eight hour old hot dog from Burger King on.

The air thanks to the Jay Moore leaving that. That's right.

Yeah, the promo item in our blue Kitchen and I have raiders Welcome back to Oakland Wheaties box from nineteen ninety six. Are you thinking about Well, I'm thinking wild Man Coop guys like that. That's a great food challenge right there. If I poured you a bowl of nineteen ninety five slash ninety six wheaties? How much money would you want to win or need to win to take a couple of big bites out of those wheaties?

Oh? I bet you.

There's so many chemicals in there that it probably still looks exactly the same.

But I doubt it tastes the same though, well probably not.

You're right about you know the look. It's like McDonald's leaving around, or the cheeseburger that doesn't doesn't degrade. If you gave me, I don't know, like five hundred bucks, I'd do it. Why not? Can I have chocolate milk? Or do I have to have no regular milk?

And you have to finish a whole bowl a whole bowl. Yeah, well, kind of a kid, and then you'll have to go run to the bull.

Wow.

I think I'm probably good on that. We also got an email from Zach. I did want to thank Zach. I don't have it in front of me, but Zach runs a bar. He's a big cheese there in column Ohio, and he heard about the Malor Meet and greet and he said, Hey, I'm a fan. I like the show. I'd love to have yet my establishment. So the good news, Danny, is that we have a bar, which and I look

So we do very.

Well in Ohio. That's the good news that we have a location for the Mala Mea greet. The bad news is how the f do I get to Ohio, Danny. I'm not planning any vacation to Ohio. I don't have any family that is living there right now. So if we can figure that out, Zach and I want to get there because I do want to do a Mala meet and greet in Ohio. I have no business reason to go there at this point, meaning the radio show is not gonna send me, so I don't know how

Do you think the first topic Dick and Dayton would talk to you about Ben?

I was talking. I was talking to my friend Bill. Uh he's on on Cleveland Browns. Yeah I does Browns and yeah you put me on a show, and yeah, yeah, God bless him Ohio. Speaking of Ohio, Ohio, Al writes it, he'says, hello, Ben and Danny g I just watched the Phil Hendry documentary you recommended a while back.

Thank you.

I had no idea who he was. How about Ohio? Not having any Phil Henry knowledge, he says that dude is so effing hilarious. I watched it twice and was laughing my ass off both times. Any chance that you can get him on the Fifth Hour pod for an interview? Yeah, I think we could get Phil Henry on. I believe we're social media friends. I could send him a message and get him on at some point during the summer when I'm planning on doing some of those things.

So I'd rather have Farrell on again. Pharrell on a pile of snow, part.

On a bender in Atlantic City at a hotel somewhere, surrounded naked by money and.

Ben, I'm gonna be honest with you, piles of cash and cocaine on this hotel bed next to me right now. He was not kidding either.

And it sounded like he was sampling the product. But I don't know, maybe not. It just sounded like that. That was That was while the Barry. Oh I just mentioned Barry earlier this weekend. He showed up to the Barry from Nashville. Now in South Carolina, says Yo Yo, Ma, Benny, great hanging out meeting you at the Charleston event last week. He says, I must say I was worried it would be a bit awkward being in with a bunch of strangers, but everyone was very welcoming. I got to meet some

So thank you.

That's from Barry. Well, thank you Berry. I appreciate I appreciate that.

I love the meet and greets or FSR, even the unofficial ones.

Yeah, they're a lot of fun. And there's also talk of a meet and greet in Vegas at some of the boys that listened in Vegas. Let go, we can make it done. Dun Donna, dun Don, you might have to show up to that one. Dan, Oh, I'll be at that one for sure. We'll do it on a Friday or Saturday, probably Saturday. Mike from Nashville whites in. He says, Hey, Ben and Danny enjoy your pot each weekend. Thanks for doing it. And Ben, what was the favorite

Zachsby's was your favorite, though.

But biscuits and gravy very good. That was actually our last meal in Charleston before we had to get to the airport and go back to Myrtle Beach and return the round car and all that, so that that was really a brisket sandwich or the biscuits and gravy, and there were some other stuff that was was outstanding. But

Yeah, but he saved you five good pounds.

Well, that is true. You'd be happy if they leave fries out. Kevin and Kansas rites in. He says, dear Ben and Danny g BUCkies will be opening soon in good Year Arizona. And I looked this up Danny, and no lies from Kevin, he says. Now, when you drive to Phoenix, you have a destination stop. That is true. And I have many relatives, a lot of them getting older. We're all getting older in the greater Phoenix area, so

You know.

We have one more baseball stop next weekend in Tempe.

Oh, beautiful Tempee. Are you gonna go to Culver's when you're in I'm gonna try. Yeah.

It's for the Pac twelve Baseball Championship games, which is why the Graduate Hotels is having us out there. And this is like a slow death of the PAC twelve.

Right, We're gonna have Washington State and Oregon State play each other back back to back and belly to belly and that's it the yeah anyway, as Kevin says, thanks for doing that.

I'm gonna look that. I've always wanted to try culvers, so it's really good.

I like it.

Well, yeah, I've never got to try it. I'm gonna look that up next weekend.

I got to get those curds. And there are several locations in the Greater Phoenix area, several locations. Big Lou writes in Big Lou, He's on number two, Good old Big Lou. He says, every time you report in your travels, you bring up issues that can be handled easily. Big Lou says, I'm going to enlighten you. We don't do list radio, but this is Big Lou Traveling Tips, Volume.

One, Big Louse, Big Board, my man, Big Lous.

Then we gotta get Lou back in see it. But Big Lou's scolding me. He says, stop driving to Vegas and fly there. If booked enough time in advance, the flight will cost about the same as the gas you will spend getting there. Very true, and he recommends the Long Beach Airport from LA forty minute flight and then you just lose your money.

Lou don't tell anybody about LBC's airport.

He says, rent a car at the airport if you if you must, Well, Lou, I've got I've got a problem. It's called a wife and she wants to bring a bunch of clothes and stuff. And my buddy flew to Vegas on is it Spirit Airlines?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't do Spirit. See stick with Southwest out of LBC. And here's what you can do. They still it might go away in a year, but they still give you two free checked bags, so you could get all your wife's stuff on the plane for free.

All right, I get that. But and the planning part's also an issue because we usually don't plan the Vegas trips. It just kind of happens organically, or like, hey, let's go to Vegas. All right, we'll get in the car and drive to Vegas and we'll like, you know, it's eight o'clock.

Yeah, some of it's impromptu. The timing, yeah, whereas yeah, you're you're held to having to be at the airport at a certain time if you book that.

Now.

Lou also says, get global entry so you don't have to spend two to three hours at the airport five to ten minutes through TSA. Well, TSA wasn't really a big problem. Also, I recommend if you have to go through TSA, go through Myrtle Beach. TSA could not be better. Myrtle beachts very small airport, no line, boom, wonderful. How much does global entry cost? What is that?

How much is that?

Danny? Do you know?

Yeah?

You know, I know, most major credit cards. If you get it, they'll reimburse you for pre check, the pre check thing.

Yeah yeah.

Lou also says when traveling via plane, you are allowed to take food on the plane, no liquids. Before you get to the airport, bring your own cuisine in the carry on bag. He says, yeah, we could do that. We could do that, but my wife loves eating at airports. I don't know why. He says. Also, typically this I thought this was the most This next one is the

Too much work just for a license plate.

That is a lot.

And I didn't not get a speeding ticket.

I did not.

I only saw a couple of cops out there in the boondocks of the Carolinas. Only only a couple, So that's good.

Yeah, And you weren't drinking and driving, you were only eating and driving. There was a lot of food consumption.

In fact, I did a sixty four hour fast when I got back to Cali, Like I overdid it. I gotta I gotta take a couple of days here. So I almost went full three full days and just said xnay on the food. Ay. Maddie from Milwaukee sent us a kind of a sporty question, or.

We could give little mini answers to it.

What is it? Yeah, he says, Hey, Ben, Danny, do you guys believe that Caitlin Clark is good enough to make the the w NBA relevant.

Well, we kind of talked about this the other day when we're talking about Rob Parker's bad take.

Rob Parker, I need a cole shower the great Rob Parker.

Look, it might take a while, but then the thinking is are people going to come along with her for the ride in the middle. It's similar to Wemby. Were people really tuning into the Spurs? Halfway through the NBA season the Spurs stunk, So if she's on a bad fever team, people are going to lose interest.

I'll give you an example of why this is not gonna work. I don't believe it worked. The people that are watching Caitlin Clark, and they were like two million people that average her debut. The other the beginning of the week, her debut averaged two point one million people. Right there was a doubleheader though, on that fledgling cable channel out of Bristol, Connecticut. So the first game average two point one million, the second game averaged less than

Gotta say, really quick though, Ben about the WNBA. Have you seen the big tall drink of water playing for the sparks? Now that Cameron brink I was.

Sent some photos of her looking like a runway model? Is that the one is that I don't know her name, that's the one she's getting.

She's getting a lot of attention in southern California right now.

Yeah. I have heard people complaining about the fact that the WNBA, which would always just be honest and he had always appealed to less effeminate women, right, I mean.

Yeah, I know there's pictures now of a few of the girls like doing sexy poses.

That has to be intentional, right, Somebody at the NBA is like, we're losing so much money on this. Nobody wants to watch this crap. What is the number one item that people love? What is the the thing, going back to the early days of humanity that has always been able to sell Danny, sex sells, That's right, exactly, ding ding ding ding ding sex sells sex and barbecue food.

Wow, damn right on that.

All right, have a wonderful rest of your weekend here whatever that means depending when you listen to this on Sunday, And I'll be back tonight and all week long. No days off this week, no days off, So have a great day later, skater, gotta murder.

I gotta go