The Fifth Hour: Rip Van Maller

is not with me yet again here on Friday. He'll be back for these Saturday and Sunday podcasts as we attempt to kick butt. Now, normally we have a certain routine. If you've listened to this podcast, you know that We typically start out by looking at some dopey holidays that are taking place. Now we've been doing this for many, many months, and today would be the worst day that I can remember for cheeseball holidays. I was trying, I was just trying to find something that seemed fun, something

that seemed interesting, and there's just nothing there. Like the one that stood out is National Sausage Pizza Day. Does sausage pizza need its own day? Isn't there just a there's a pizza Day and that should be fine, but there's a sausage Pizza Day, and then there's like a bunch of other stuff just aren't any good that are just kind of dumb. So bad day for holidays. But the show must go on. The show must go on for us peasants, the common man, the hoi POLOI, the

rank and file. Everyone to say it. And on this podcast, the Friday edition, the eleventh of October, we've got does anyone have a watch? Mayor Aura? Foody fun and the phrase of the week. The phrase of the week, But as always we start with the shameless promotion for the number one TV show that you're gonna watch this weekend, and it still amazes me that my name is on it. It is Benny versus the Penny, and I am a

proud papa, if you will. Many of you have taken time out and sent me photographs of you watching the show and not only watching it at home, and those are great. Those are wonderful. Are our friend in the Minneapolis area, she's got a nice cabin, just just awesome, and some of the other photos. But people have been sending me photos from restaurants, which is awesome. One guy in New Hampshire was at a sports bar, which I didn't even know they had sports bars in New Hampshire.

It's not very big. I know they have a nice little Portsmouth is a nice little tourist town, but I haven't really sport New Hampshire too much. But anyway, the guy sent me a photo at some sports bars said yeah, they have it on there. You're on the tv there in the sports bar. I said, well, that's pretty cool, so thank you for that. My email, you neither send it to benmalorshow at gmail dot com or the Fifth

Hour podcast email. We have our own email, which is probably better that way because that's what I use for the podcast when I'm getting ready for the podcast. I normally go going through the email and it's kind of my routine. So if you want to send something in real fifth hour at gmail dot com and it is

available starting today all over the place. Benny Versus the Penny, the first episode of Benny Versus the Penny will air at six pm today Boston, NBC Sports Boston, right after the simulcast of Felger and Maz It ends at six and then our show begins handicapping as I analyze all the big games and we go head to head against the Penny. Now, I have not seen the episode this weekend's episode. We were doing it yesterday at Universal Studios. We were taping it and it was a fun, fun

show to tape. I'm not sure what the final product is going to be. I'm hoping there is a Looney blooper that made the show. There was a debate in the control room among the the boys that work on the show. Vinnie and John I think was part of that, and a couple of the other big guys there that are involved in trying to put together and then we do a couple of takes and then normally we try to just do one take but typically we end up having to do a couple and so we don't know

what you don't know, so we'll find out. I will find out with you. And on NBC Sports Boston, the show will air a bunch. Not only is it air at six o'clock, but also at eight thirty. There's another showing at nine to thirty. So three showings of Benny Versus the Penny in Boston tonight, and that's the flagship of the show because it's produced out of NBC Sports Boston, but it is also on in many many other locations, some I don't even know about. It's on in Philadelphia,

Home of the Fight in Phills. That'll be at six point thirty if you're in Philly on NBC Sports Philadelphia six thirty tonight, right after Birds Huddle with Barrett Brooks and Birds Huddle. I think I know what that's about being in Philadelphia. But anyway, that's available Benny Versus the Penny six thirty in Philadelphia. Check your local TV listings

for the time in your area. And if you don't have an NBC Sports regional cable channel or affiliate near you, I know we're on in La on the Laker station, for example, which is partnered with NBC but not a technical NBC station, not run not operated by NBC, so there is that. And also on Peacock streaming nationally, you can always get your hands on Benny versus the Penny every single moment, all weekend long, starting later today. It might not be up right now if you're listening early.

This podcast goes up relatively early in the day. I'm not even really sure exactly when the podcast or the TV show rather goes on Peacock, but it's available once it goes up, usually late afternoon, sometimes early evening on Friday, which is today, and then it'll be all Saturday and then you can watch it. And I don't think old episodes are available, so you really have to watch it when the newest episode is available. So with that as the backdrop, let's go back to last Friday. You might

remember I was still recovering from a tongue injury. This job is not that easy. I had bitten my tongue, which is not as bad as burning your tongue, but in the same family. So I'd bitten my tongue the left side of my tongue, and it was causing me a whole lot of problems. I was able to do the show, but it was very uncomfortable. It wasn't fun. It's still not all the way back to where it needs to be because I'm still talking a lot, and

so it's getting better. I'm almost where I want to be, but still off a little bit little whacky, a little bit, a little bit of whacking. And it's going on. But my schedule, I have first world problems. My schedule is one where I'm very very busy for several days during the week. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday are not not good good days. Now they are good days because I love what I do and I like my job, and so it's fun. But I am burning the midnight oil and

then some. And I'm not doing it at lavish parties, these extravagant upscale shin digs. No, I'm not doing it at private meetings. I am doing it with my face either buried into a microphone or buried into my laptop as I try to put together the handicapping for the weekend's NFL games. And so that's my routine, and it's the malor O rama. And really it starts on Tuesday, you know, I wait for the Monday game day. And

that's something new that I did last year. I'd start doing it on Monday, and I was like, I need to get the final numbers. So I wait till the Monday night games are over, and then I see whether or not my picks collapsed or not, and which games laid an egg and where I whiffed and all that, and then try to figure it out. But I typically wait till Tuesday. Right after the show on Tuesday morning, I go right to it and I spend a good amount of time handicapping on Tuesday. And then Wednesday's the

big big day. You start getting injury reports, which is a big part of this. Who's playing, who's not playing, and so that's that's a big part of it. But I'm up a lot. I don't get a lot of sleep. And then Thursday we do the show and we record the TV show and then I've got to deal with rush hour traffic from Universal Studio, and I have to get ready for the other show, the radio show, the live show, and so I end up getting maybe two to three hours maybe. Now usually I'm a four to

five hour sleep guy. So you say, well, that's not that big a deal. You're only getting a little bit less. But apparently anything under four problematic, right, I'm on vapors.

I am on absolute vapors by that point. And so what ended up happening is last Friday, after I recorded the podcast early Friday morning, I then send it to Danny, who is the producer of the podcast as well as my right hand man, and then Danny futses around with it and makes it sound pretty and makes it sound like I know what I'm doing, and then we put that up and then that's it. I'm done for the day, and so I go And this day I was like, I want to kind of relax and meditate, so I'm

gonna go the bathtub. So I went to the bathtub, the Mallard tub. I took about a twenty five minute bath with that bubble soap. Everyone was great, loved it. My right hand was getting a workout. Don't do that very often. Don't do it very often. And I just needed to decompress from the week, and my mind was spinning and all that. You know what it's like, right, We've all been there, whether you have a job like mine or you have a different job, but we've all

got stresses in our lives. So I took a sleeping pill the only way I will get more than four hours sleeping. Now keep in mind, I probably didn't need one because I was so tired from what had happened the last couple of days. But I was like, listen, I want to make sure I get a deep sleep, and so I'm going to take this this Kirkland brand sleep aid. So I did, and I went to bed way after the sun came up, and I woke up,

and I wonder if you've ever had this happen. It's happened to me a few times, especially doing overnights, and chances are you probably do work overnight. Most of the people that listen work overnight, although we have people that graduated that are in good spirits because they work the

dread to day shift. But you go to bed after the sun comes up, and you wake up discombobulated, you know what I'm saying, Like you you're so zonked out, and then you wake up, and you know there's a normal period of time when you wake up you just kind of gotta get going. I'm typically get out of the bed quick, guy, get it over with guy. That's me because once I'm up, I'm up, I don't I don't go back to sleep. I don't. Once in a blue moon, I'll go back to sleep, and I don't

sleep with a sound sleep. So I'm wake up and I'm discombobulated as groggy feeling. It's kind of like the Twilight Zone. It's like the Twilight Zone. I'm not really sure if I'm alive, if somehow I'm dead and I'm I'm in a parallel dimension. I mean, I'm not exactly sure. Maybe I'm in the outskirts of reality picture if you will a world, or you wake up and you're not sure what time it is or where you are exactly. You're confused, and I'm thinking, does anyone have a watch? Well,

who uses watches? I have a watch. I have an Apple Watch. I don't have a Walker Bueller one hundred thousand dollar watch. But I ended up grabbing my phone and eventually I realized that I had slept through almost all of the daylight hours. My alarm clock went off, and I kept sleeping. I was not tired, and I awoke with about thirty minutes of sunlight and the sun was starting to go down. It was starting to go down. So it's that bizarro world situation. You're like, oh man,

I am literally living in the darkness, right. You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind, a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. The sign posts up ahead your next stop the twilight Zone.

I was a loyal Tito's Tacos customer for over twenty years, and I will not go back because I say I will not go back unless somebody drags me there because it's too expensive. It's ridiculous. The same thing that I got for like two dollars or a dollar fifty is now like six dollars. It's insane. It's a tourist trap. Don't do it. So I found I did a little intel opposition research and I went down some taco deep state rabbitos. There's like a whole deep state network of

taco shops. So I was on a rampage. I'm like, I got to find a new taco shop, and I did, and I went there on the day that I slept all day. They have three dollars crunchy tacos. Now, there is a catch. The catch is it's on the wrong side of the tracks. If you will, okay, it's not the greatest neighborhood. As long as you are there during the day, you're fine. However, I had woken up. There's only thirty minutes a daylight. It's more than a thirty

minute drive with traffic. You don't want to be there after dark because there's a lot of you know, thugs and losers and criminals or whatever. They'll kick you in the teeth so who wants it? But I made the sacrifice. I risked my life for crunchy tacos. I did, and I dragged my wife with me. We went there and nothing happened. Nothing happened. We got there just as the sun sun was setting, and I got my tacos Dorado's and a plate of chips, and was smiling from ear

to ear. I the spice of life, enjoying life, and just wonderful. App solutely wonderful. So that's how I spent last Friday. And then I watched Benny Versus the Penny, and then I watched some of the nonsense going on in college football. Were a couple of games, as I remember, on Friday. The baseball playoffs did not start until Saturday last week, so there was no baseball on Friday. Now turning the page, Mayor Aura, A couple of you sent me this and we didn't talk about it on the

Overnight Show, the original Recipe Overnight Show. So I thought, well, it's a fifth hour podcast, and I saw it. I didn't mention it. That's a third rail all my own. That's the third rail. What are you doing? It's kind of a political storyvice not a political story. But it is, but it's not because it's kind of a goofy story. So beast mode marsha On Lynch. You know who that is, right, the old NFL player, Marshawn Lynch. I'm ay doon't get fined. So he showed up to the Super Bowl media day

and said all the ridiculous stuff that he said. He's a bit of a space cadet and so he played in the NFL for a long time, a bunch of teams known as the Seattle Sehawk. And he has now hinted and you have sent me the story. I didn't see that you sent it to me. He's on the political blogs the blogosphere that Marshawn Lynch is thinking about running for political office. He is considering becoming the mayor of Oakland. Say what huh? What kind of back room

politics is this going to be? Yeah? He said on his Pledgling podcast that he co hosted a co host with the agent that he has and the worst governor in America, the incompetent Gavin Newsom. So he's on that with him, and he said it might be a possibility. Now might is a weasel word. I might make ten million dollars this year. I'm not, but I might so. According to this, Marshawn Lynch is considering it, and he was being encouraged by the two hacks that he does

his podcast with to do it. You might remember Marshawn when he was a cow golden Bear. He was spinning in the golf cart around, driving around the field and all that. And anyway, apparently, and I don't follow Oakland politics, but if you're an Oaklander, you know that the mayor of that city is in the middle of a scandal right up to their chinny chin chin and the city is a great example of how you let criminals take over your town. It's so bad. How bad is it?

As I understand it, the FBI raided the mayor's home, and there was an intervention of state law enforcement and a bunch of political muckety MUCKs that were sent by the state of California. You imagine if the State of California that doesn't care about criminals anywhere, they'll just allow you to steal whatever you want, as long as under one thousand dollars, tack whatever you want. Oakland has has lost all their pro sports. The A's are now gone, and so the mayor is likely going to be kicked

out right, and that's it. See you later. There's gonna be an opening for the mayor and Marshawn's flirting, he said. He said it would be like that Chris Rock directed movie Head of State, the late Bernie Mack bought. Bernie was a funny man. Bernie Mack died way too soon, but Bernie Mack was in there, and Marshawn said it would be like that. He'd be slapping the shit out of everybody and all that. Now, a couple of things, all right, The question is what do you make of

Marshawn Lynch running for the mayor's office in Oakland? So I got the big P and spending golly, and we'll combine all of these things together and we're gonna make a cushy number number on all right. So, first thing, a, Marshawn Lynch is not actually going to run for political office. Let's get that out of the way, okay. And just because he's trying to get that the capital P P word publicity, it's a publicity stunt for his fledging the podcast. I believe that to be true. I see no evidence

at all that Marshawn is going to run for office. Now, there are a couple of reasons for that. The first one is he's rich, and typically if you're rich, the only reason you run for office is if you are you're an attention wore. Marshan doesn't seem like that kind of guy. I know that fame and celebrity and cloud are contagious things. They're highly contagious, and it is a communicable disease if you will spreading rapidly around society because social media that said, I don't buy it. I don't

buy it. He's also got a fair amount of baggage, not that that would stop you in twenty twenty four to run or twenty twenty five for political office. And then and b Marshawan, here's the catch twenty two because I don't think he's gonna run. I think this is just he's just talking out of his tooks. Is badonka dounk and all that. But the other part of it is if he were serious, and again I do not think he is serious. I think this is just a

sideshow attraction. Hey put my name out there, and it looks like based on what you guys have sent me that the bloggisphere the political world is like, oh, man Marshan could enter this and man a lah. Now if he does actually enter, he would win. He would absolutely become the mayor of Oakland. He would he two reasons. He would run as a Democrat in a state that is a one party state, and he's famous and that whole celebrity thing. Marshawn, in a very odd way, has

this spngali effect. At least he did as a player. Now I don't listen to his podcast. I have no interest in hearing his podcast. I want nothing to do anything. Gavin Newsom is a part of I want nothing to do it. So I will not listen to that at all. But he would win, Marshawn would win and all that. So we'll see what happens. Foody fun, reay for food, he fun, hooray for food he Fun. I know that's the song that our guy, our guy in Fullerton, Bergdog loves.

He actually listens to that fun fact Bergdog listens to that when he's with his personal trainer and he does jumping Jack's while eating donut holes. Wow, it's really cool. Not as cool as when Alf the alien Opiner jumps rope with cats. He uses cats as the jump rope. That's even more impressive. But these guys are talented. I'm telling you the p ones, and they know what they're doing. So Fruity Fun Pizza Hut has launched a new item,

boneless big boneless wings. It's a bundle of big bonus wings. Now, boneless wings are not wings, but I would prefer them. Here's what you get. Each big boneless wing includes sixteen They include sixteen, but each of them has let's see what you get here. Bonus wings. Susists of one hundred percent all white meat chicken boneus wings, breaded and fried, golden brown and crisp. So prices may vary, but fifteen ninety nine of these giant chunks of chicken. They look

they look good. I don't know that that's worth the sixteen ninety n but it's like a dollar a piece of chickens, so I guess that's in modern times, that's not outrageous. These are available participating pizza at restaurants Krispy Kreme offering free original glazed donuts to anyone including you and I who can present a McDonald's receipt dated between the yesterday, the tenth, and then the fourteenth, so today's

the eleven, so till Monday. So if you want a free glazed donut and you're already going to McDonald's, do you have to buy something from Krispy Kream? I don't see the fine print here. You might have to buy something, but otherwise just show up say I want my donut, and they get very pissed when you only get one donut. They assume you're going to buy something else, a cup of coffee or something else. So if you go own to Krispy Kreme and you just get one donut and

it's free, that's not the point of the bit. That's not the point Popeyes. Popeyes has introduced a new ghost pepper chicken sandwich, which, looking at this appears to be the same exact chicken sandwich with a spice on top of it. Seven eleven. I have a buddy of mine who has a regular job and he loves getting food

at seven eleven. Yeah, he's like a real man's man, drives a truck and he goes in there and loves loves the slurpies and all the all the stuff he's got there, the hot dogs, all that God must have an iron stomach. But seven eleven now welcoming in the new everything bagel, breakfast sandwich, chicken and waffle roller, stuffed pepperoni pizza, and more part of their fall lineup. They

all fall lineup at seven eleven. It's like it's like a TV channel back in the day, NBC or CBS or ABC will be like, here's our fall lineup of TV shows. Now it's seven to eleven with a chicken and waffles roller. Now, Taco Bell is bringing back the double decker tacos that actually started yesterday, so they're back. And in Baltimore Shout Out Sports with Coleman, Popeyes is testing the new chicken Dippers. I might have to send my guy boots on the ground Sports with Coleman to

a Popeyes to test those out. And Burger King testing a new item. Burger King testing a new item in New Zealand, a fried apple bites. Now that sounds good to me. Fried apple bites a new item there, it does look pretty good. I'm not gonna lie. And the way this works, remember this international food crap if people like it in New Zealand and some of these other countries Eventually it works its way here to the ship

where we live. Unless you're listening outside of America, but here in the US, it'll come here because we buy more fast food than anyone we love. We love our fast food. Time now for the phrase of the word in the Phrase of the week today is go bananas. You're going bananas? What are you doing? Going banans? Well, this is actually an interesting one as opposed to the ones that aren't interesting. I thought this was kind of cool. And this was sent in by I think listener is it?

Fred starts with an F in Texas said this he wanted to know he's too lazy and wanted to know about bananas. Go bananas, Go bananas is a superstition that goes back to the shipping world of the seventeen hundreds, the Caribbean shipping lines, and the superstition is that bananas are bad luck on boats, and it goes all the

way back to the seventeen hundreds. There's a lot of theories as to why bananas are considered bad juju, but according to popular opinion, it's because bananas spoil quickly, and on those merchant ships in the Caribbean, they had to sail very fast to get to the port, because if they didn't make it in time, the bananas would be bad and it's a problem. And that made it difficult for fishermen to catch fish because they were so worried about the bananas. Bananas also caused I didn't know this,

but they caused other fruits to spoil. There's some kind of gas that bananas release that causes other fruits to ripen faster. Who knew, Yeah, who knew? Now? In that same vein bananas also the superstition they were found on shipwrecks, and so the theory. People weren't very bright back then, and the theory was that they'd come across a shipwreck and they always find bananas floating. Cases of banana would

be floating on top of the water. And the maritime sailors of that seventeen hundreds blamed the bananas for the boat sinking. Put two and two together, Well, we found bananas, they're floating, the ship is not toda. Also, bananas would provide other venomous animals or little critters on the ship.

Spiders and snakes would hide in the cases of bananas, and so they would transport venomous spiders and snakes would hide in the boxes of bananas, and then while the ship was sailing, or they were eating or they were trying to sleep, they'd have these venomous spiders and snakes crawling around the boat. And they were taking them to other parts of the world, and even to this day. And if you're in the boating world, let me know.

But some boaters still avoid bringing bananas on board, even have signs posted to say, hey, you probably shouldn't do that, probably shouldn't put bananas, and we don't want your vananza. All right, we'll get out on that. Have a wonderful, wonderful weekend, wonderful Friday. Today, I'll be watching that Dodger Padre game. I may even do an ass been I'll tell you what. If the Dodgers end up winning, maybe it looks good. I might do an ass bend either

today right after the game or sometime on Saturday. Haven't decided, but I'll just let you know. Keep you in the loop, de loop. So that's a possibility if I'm in a good mood, and we'll see what happens and try not to go bananas. Have a wonderful wonderful rest of your Friday. Thank you, don't forget Benny Versus the Penny in your face for us average Joe's. You can watch that. I know Al's done a great job. Several of the other guys watching it a ton so a masshole Mickey as well.

It's just awesome. Thank you all for the photos and keep them coming in. Love it, love it, love it, Benny versus the Penny all night, tonight, all day Saturday, and then on Sunday morning as well. Anyway, have a great day. We'll talk to you next time later. Skater. Is that how you do it? Danny asta pasta wrong? Yeah, that's the ticket. How do you like them apples? You fired?