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The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the a everywhere. It's the Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny g Er Radio hanging out. We survived our trip to the track. It's going on again today though the Breeders cop the main event later today, Danny, but I had a wonderful time. It was great to see all the pretty people and also the ugly people mixed together. But it was a lot of fun. What a beautiful place, Santa ne it is. It's just awesome. It's we're so lucky that we live here and it's that's the local track. It's just awesome.
Yeah, it was my first time there, and I would like to go back just to watch the horses run sometime and bring the family there, especially Little CoA. Got to start them early on betting on the horses.
Yeah, you gotta have them bet the trifecta and all that, the find the daily double and and get the racing form, the whole, the full, all inclusive racing experience, which means you got to get up at the Kraka daon, you got to go to the track when the horses are like working out, they're exercising in the morning. There's the smell of horse shit at manure and there's like really wealthy billionaires on one side, and then there's people you
know making a peasants salary on the other. But they're all there for the same the same mission, you know, the same goal and all that. It's it's just an amazing, amazing experience. And horse racing it's it's still a niche sport,
if you will, but I think it's designed. It's weird how society has changed, but it's almost like it's becoming more relevant because we have such short attention spans and the way horse racing is designed, it's you know, sit around, have some drinks, have some food, get a bed in, and then the actual event itself is only a couple of minutes.
Yeah.
I watch I watch all the major runs, and you're right, what's great about it is after it's over, you're like, oh, look I got the entire rest of my day left.
You know what I used to do back in the day, because years ago Premiere Networks, when we started Fox Sports Radio, Premier Networks, which just runs Fox Sports Radio, iHeartMedia, they had rights to the to the Kentucky Derby. Right, they were the broadcaster and so they were the syndicator of the Kentucky Derby. So I used to do this bit of a year, we are going to play the entire
Kentucky Derby unedited right now. Wait, it was like, you know, a minute forty eight seconds or something, you know, some ridiculous short amount of time, a couple of minutes at the most, And it was always always a funny bit. So on this the Saturday Pod, and don't forget Benny Versus the Penny, we're on in La today and all over the place reairings. But the LA Show probably already
happened depending on when you're downloading this. Six am the first showing, and then the Lakers are playing the Orlando Magic, so that means we're bumped to late night in La. So eleven PM.
That's when I watch it every week.
Yeah, so we on eleven AM after or eleven pm. Rather if the Lakers weren't playing, we'd have like probably four other showings. But that's fine.
You're going to be the Laker post game party.
Yeah, of course. Anyway, on this the it we have Rudolph the Red Nose gas bag, timber Danny, you have a tale to tell?
Yes, as Eminem once saying, say goodbye, say goodbye to Hollywood.
Yeah, say goodbye the Hollywood, the glitz and glamour, show business no more. But we start with this, So this is a pod exclusive headline, Panic City. Is it true that this week's episode of Benny Versus the Penny, still airing today on regional cable distributed by NBC, was an absolute roller coaster ride, white knuckle racist? How dare you.
Now?
As Paul Harvey used to say, you've heard the news, but in a minute, you're about to hear the rest of the story. So there once was a man named Ben or Benny, wasn't Isn't that how most fairytale start? Once there once was a man, or once upon a time or something like that. Yeah, So I don't want to talk to the third person. But they doing the overnight show and trying to juggle everything. It's been very hectic, very hectic. I love it. It's great. I like to work.
I'm working a lot, maybe more than I want to work. But anyway, So a few hours before the taping of Benny Versus the Penny, I made the mistake of looking in the mirror, which is never a good idea because I'm ugly, it's never a good idea. What did I see?
Though?
This was different mirror, mirror on the wall. You are the fairest of them all? What happened? So I look at my reflection and then I looked away, and I looked back, and there was something staring back at me that I thought it was like out of a Christmas movie or something like that. That was not Ebenezer Scrooge. It was not. It was rude ofph The red nose gas bag you see, the right side of my schnozola was bright red. I am talking gigantic right like bright.
Oh my, I unbelievable. And so I'm like, what is that? Maybe I'm seeing things, you know, But there was a gigantic pimple that had popped up and I guess. I was like kind of like, uh, I don't know, it just like kind of rubbing the side of it by. I didn't even realize I was doing it. You ever done that where you're like.
Oh, in high school, we called that a runaway z it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. So I'm like worth doctor pimple Popper, you know, I'm I'm freaking out.
I'm like, well, I got a TV show and a few the grossest TV shows in the history of TV.
Oh yeah, it's it's the same that still honor. Did they get rid of that?
I don't know. I hope they canceled it.
So I'm freaking out right. I looked to describe, because we're on an audio platform, I look like Vaudevillian's star actor W. SEA Fields near the end of his life, if you know what he looks like. I thought, for a second, I had rhino fema, which is like when your nose like literally the growth of the nose where it gets enlarged and red and there's like thick bumps on it, you know, in my head, in my head, Nanny,
I was W. C. Fields. I had rhino fema. And you know, if you dazzle, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit or in this case, a bright red nose. I'm like, well, it's not Christmas yet. We were done with Halloween. Like, how am I going to spin this? And so I'm on the internet. What do I do?
Dan?
The first thing I do? I go on the web how to cover up you know, a ZiT pimple thing on your nose. I'm like, I'm looking at all this, like, will it go down? Do I first thing? Of course, I had to stop touching said nose. That was the first thing. Fortunately I had purchased for the TV show a bunch of makeup, so it did. The inflammation did go down, and it was still slightly read by the time I showed up to Universal Studios, so I was still a little red. But I did apply makeup in
said bathroom, so hopefully, hopefully that did the trick. But you'll have to tell if you've seen the show, let me know if it looked like I had. Rudolph.
I can't wait to see it tonight. Yeah.
See, now that I pointed it out, you'll.
Yeah, that's all we're going to be looking at now. I'm gonna be like, Babe, look look at the TV.
Look at Ben's nose, Look.
At how ugly Malari is today. Man, what the hell? And I was like, what am I going to tell the people at NBC. I'm like, well, you know, I don't know what happened. I wonder what they would have done if I couldn't cover it up.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
This is like when ball players get hurt at home and they have to admit to their team that they got hurt at home, did something stupid.
Very embarrassing, very very embrassing. Problems you don't have to worry about when you do the radio or podcasting. You don't have to worry about that at all. And I almost almost had I thought my head, Nanny, when I saw my nose, I said, I gotta say goodbye to Hollywood. That's what I thought.
Yeah, this past week was really weird because as long as I've been at the network, which is nine years now, Ramos has always been a steady force. He's calm, he's cool under pressure, He's always smiling.
Whenever I would work with him on the weekends.
He would fill in on the weekends sometimes, and it was nice. It was refreshing to work with him, and I would think to myself, Man, that would be cool to work with him daily.
Rewind to a.
Little bit over a year ago, and when Covino and rich and I got promoted to afternoons, we knew, Oh, it's gonna be Dan Bayer, it's gonna be Dan Byer, and it's gonna be John Ramos. And that was really exciting for me because back in the day talk about full circle when I was working on a campus myself, because that's where Ramos is going. He's going to go work at the high school full time and coach girls softball for South Pasadena High. I was doing sports, I
was coaching. I was teaching in a second grade classroom, and then I would get out in the afternoon and I would go make a food run before I would have to come back to the campus to finish my work.
And what did I have in my car?
Am five seventy It was the J Moore Show, and I got to hear Ramos play one hundred Drops in an Hour and his really funny radio laugh. It was a really good ensemble. It was fun to listen to a lot of it didn't have to do with anything with sports. But I liked that even back then it was pop culture. It was Jay Moore just telling bad jokes and just funny routines, funny callers and drops. I love the show. I would listen to it almost every afternoon.
Fast forward get to Fox Sports Radio and the very first shift that I got to train on in December of twenty fourteen was the Jay Moore Show. Besides Jay's little dogs running around the studio, the one thing that stood out to me was how nice Ramos was.
So he trained me on the board. Uh, he trained me how to do.
The drops for Fox the way Fox liked him because I was coming from NBC Sports Radio and it was a really cool experience. And then of course I was on your show to kick off my career here at FSR. Bobo trained me on your show. Well, so go on the radioeah. So that's how it all started for me here at Fox Sports Radio. And so Ramos holds a special place in my heart. They did a going away party for him on Thursday night, and and it was hard Ben Like I guess I saved my words for
on air. Several of our coworkers got up and made little speeches but I couldn't help but think to myself.
As these speeches.
Were going and thousands of dollars of Buffalo wild wings were being eaten, I was thinking to myself, why not take all this money from all these drinks and wings, give that to Ramos and say you're not going anywhere, dude.
Here's a little bonus. I'm gonna give you a little raise.
It's not how radio works, unfortunately, but if I was in charge of things, if I ran broadcasting all across America, I would give all broadcasters a big fat raise, and I wouldn't let any of them go to any other sideways jobs. So it bothers me personally because now I'm gonna have to go through what you just went through, which is a revolving door of technical producers, and no one's really going to be able to replace Ramos. And I've had some insomnia over it. Man, I'm not gonna lie.
I think I might go on to Workmen's com Well.
Get the long term, get the long term. That's s grit your teeth long term. But I love John. I've known John many years. I knew him before Fox Sports Radio, and so we were very excited when John came to Fox Sports Radio because it has proven guy in the LA market, and it's hard to find people it is you reference Danny that are positive. You know, there's a lot of grumpy people just general. But in radio, there's a lot of woe is meism? You know, why am I not getting this? That and the other thing?
Yeah, a bunch of moaning and groaning, as my grandpa used to say, Yeah, and they're damned winding in your moaning and groaning exactly.
And to be fair, I was like that when I was younger. But there's just a lot of people that are just like, oh, this sucks.
You know.
It's there are much worse problems to have, much worse problems to have. We have one of the great jobs. Even if you're not happy with what time you're working or how much money you're making. Could always be worse, could always be worse. But I you know, I'm disappointed John's leaving. I feel, you know, he's a old school radio guy from the old countries. I sent out on on social media this week. He's an artistan and just
a positive guy. And as we talked about Danny, there's not many of that those type of people left in the business. Unfortunately, it's changed a lot. The old timers are either leaving for other jobs or dying off, and so it's just not Yeah, it's a tough one. And also a lot of people don't want to, as you said, pay the dues, work on holidays and all that. They don't. I don't want you want me to work on a holiday. What's wrong with you? But he was like, well, yeah,
we're the shops open twenty four hours a day. We don't close. The business is open. There's customers that will be in the store. There's actually a lot of people that are lonely over the holidays. I always try to work most of the holidays because there's people lonely. They want to want to I have a friend, somebody to hang out with on the radio, you know, and know that some other person's alive and talking and jop in and all that. But you know, so good luck to John.
Screw that guy.
When everybody was saying congratulations, I was like, fuck you.
Good luck. I'm sure it'll only take about eight or nine months for you to figure out who's replacing John. So I'm sure that will be a very get here.
So you're saying it will be resolved shortly and I'll know who my technical producer is within the next two weeks.
I'm not complaining. But every night I would go in after Roberto left, there was somebody different running the running the equipment, so I was like, who's in tonight? I don't know third base the deal on this, and I deal with it all the time. I had people. I had a guy I won't say his name, but there was a guy that said he used to listen growing up to the show, and then I asked him five
questions about the show, like trivia. I went for fun low for five A big fan of the show, listened all the time, all the time.
He didn't even get one right, not one.
And if you're going to like, if you're gonna lie, you gotta be able to back up the lie. Yeah you can even back the lie. I mean, what was that?
How can you back up the lie if you're lying?
It's a fair point. That's a fair point. But yeah, you got to be able at least to kind of ance around a little bit. It's not good. So timber O, our headline now comes from the holiday hodown. Did you attend any Halloween parties?
This year.
Da, Well, you got a young young child's probably not right, Probably not.
Halloween's not really my jam. Anyways, I got you so well.
The wife loves Halloween and it's a big holiday for her. She's she likes to plan parties. We didn't have a party this year for Halloween at our our Mallard mansion. The hostess with the mostest spent weeks though planning with a couple of her friends from work, this big gala Halloween celebration. And of course we had to get couples costumes, very important. A lot of time invested on how to get a couples costumes and what to be, and so we did some cosplay. I got to play a role
that I'll probably end up playing at some point. Costco sample server.
I saw this picture, so.
I just I had the full Costco merch. I had the hat Costco. I had the red hat Costco, I had the apron, and I even had a red tray. We went all out. We got a red tray and I'm ready. I'm like, here we go. I even made I'm giving out the samples at the party. So I made bakery style chocolate chip cookies, homemade piping hot fresh out of the oven, and I made them. I was cooking. I was baking them a couple hours before the party because I wanted them, you know, fresh and just wonderful.
So we're getting ready, we're all getting geared up. I then and I decided I need to take a nap because it's a party and I want to be able to stay up. And I was tired and all that, and I was ready for the samplehors at the party. Then right at the eleventh hour and the fifty ninth minute and the fifty ninth second, chaoed body blow, body blow, timber,
all dressed up with nowhere to go. You see, the wife got a phone call from the person whose house was the home to the party, and her husband had been standing on a ladder and timber, poor gentleman fell down. Oh no, needed an ambulance. He had hit his head. He also broke his wrist, and he went to the emergency room and was in the concussion protocol.
And yeah, so you're saying that's Halloween. He went as Ryan Tannehill.
Oh, oh, yeah, that was. He was in the emergency room till three in the morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night. So we felt awkward having a party because we didn't know at the time whether or not he was going to be all right and what was going on, and it was his house and so checkmate, the wife does love Halloween, but we had no party. We were all dressed up. She was really bummed out. So what do you think I did, Danny to make her feel better?
You took her to a local disco tech.
Kind of. I dusted off the cobwebs from my wallet, and uh had I knew that was going to cost me a lot for like a nice meal, so we had to go to like a like a really nice restaurant. So it cost me half load of bundy. But that's fine, that's all right. But she wasn't a better mood after after that.
So that's good.
Is it bad that I feel like I can get really good food at like a like a mom and pop dive place as opposed to like the high end places. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't know.
I'm usually hungry after we leave an upscale or fancy or type restaurant. The flavors are really good, but you usually leave hungry, especially when it's tushi or something like that. And then you wind up wanting to go through a drive through or something. A few hours later.
Making a late night munchie, running Jack in a box or something. You're like, I need a MUNCHI box? Can I get that?
Anyway?
So that was That was the Halloween festivities and we had trick or treaters, not many, not many. I was on Halloween duty. That was a pain in the behind because I was putting the monologues together and I like to have laser like focus and no distractions, you know, because I'm trying to lock in on what I think is interesting, what I want to talk about, and you know,
every five to ten minutes. We didn't get that many tricker treaters, but they were sporadic and they were like every five or ten minutes for like a couple hours.
So did you have any neighborhood hooligans throwing?
No? I don't not that I noticed that. I don't think. So did you did you have that? Uh? No, that's good.
No, we're not an exciting neighborhood. What the hell? It's not? Well?
Really quick though, bit I had somebody that said they were going to call the police on our daughter.
What did she do?
She and her friend went trick or treating my wife. He drops them off in a nice neighborhood up the hill where they give the better sized candy at.
One of the homes.
They went up and they were giving away like full sized candy bars. They walked the rest of the neighborhood and then of course their kids, so they're like, let's go back to the house that has the full sized candy bars.
Smart move. Wrong.
These people realized they were double dipping though, and they actually told my daughter and her friend that they were going to call the police.
Your daughter should have should call the cops. What are they gonna do?
Two butterfingers?
Oh my god, the people. Did they realize these people that in California, you can like rob Macy's and they don't do anything. You know, you can go to Bloomingdale's and then rob these stores and they don't care. They're gonna be Yeah, we're not gonna arrest those people. But let me tell you something. Okay, you take those freaking candy bars. We're going away. Okay, pokey pokey pokey time you're going to jail. It's all over for you.
It's my god, And.
Of course our daughter's logic. She was like, well, I didn't take the same candy bar twice. I took a baby Ruth, and I took a butterfinger.
Now the move there, and you've got to teach to your daughter this in future editions of Halloween is have a second costume, have like a backup just in case. But the backup's got to have a full mass covering your face. If you original, if you're like you know some outfit where you just have your regular face showing, the other one has to be full coverage, full coverage,
and then you're good. It's like, I know this because I used to when I had a family member, we used to go to Costco sample runs, and so I know how that works on the Costco sample runs. But even at Costco, they don't really care. They just kind of give you a snarky look. If you're going double dipping and all that.
You would have been so proud. Last Saturday, my wife dragged me to Costco. I don't think i'd been to a Costco on a weekend in years. I had no idea that there were that many samples out on a Saturday.
That's prime real estate.
Holy shit.
And when I told her she said, yeah, why do you think Ben goes on the weekend. I had a full belly when I left Ben, I was stuffed.
I would hit three. Or where I used to live, we had three costcos real close, so I'd hit three. It's like I'm Robin Banks. I'm going to different costcos to see if they have different samples and like what they.
Have, and you you would have been in hog Heaven.
They had a pop up tent in the middle of the Costco and some brand that makes rice and different dishes to go along with their yellow rice. They were putting constantly these big cups of their samples out. They were actually saying, don't be shy, there's four different samples, try one of each. And so all these piggies were going back and back and back. I'm telling you, I had no idea that there was that much free food at Costco.
Oh.
Yeah, if you go at the right time here, you're set up. I mean, it's you made mass the goldielocks on. We call it that Saturday and Sunday afternoon, sometimes Friday in the late afternoon because people getting off work early and all that. But that's prime. Yeah, that's that's big.
Well, we need milk. I might go back there this afternoon.
The back Scratcher. Backscratcher, you scratch our back, which you haven't done in a long time. We scratch your back. So do we have any reviews? We have not had a review in over a month, Danny, do you think it changed this last week.
I'm going to say somebody felt bad when they heard you say that last weekend, so there's probably one new review.
Well, you're partially correct that people did feel pity. How pathetic we are that we couldn't get any reviews. So we ended up getting free reviews, Danny, Free different reviews on Backscratcher. Now this is the Apple podcast page. There's a link in the description on this podcast, and we would love to have you write a review. Now, we don't really care whether you do or not. The problem is that people that oversee all of these podcasts for iHeart,
they think that's a big deal. We don't, but they do, and so for us, you know, we need reviews because they think it's important. We don't care, but it does help the show out and it's free to do. So just help us out. Listen to these real quick. So Dub writes in big Ben Danny g When I was trying to figure stuff out in life, I found myself homeless at one point. Listening to your week Lee show gave me hope every single night. I've since turned things around.
How about this, I want to thank you for your weedy way and passion for sports. Congratulations on Benny versus the Penny. I guess William Shatner wasn't too happy to hear about the big Ben for President hashtag. Yes, thank you. I love hearing that. That's wonderful. And I do understand working the Overnight show that oftentimes people find the show when they're down on their lock having, whether it be relationship problems, medical problems, financial problem, all of the above.
So it's great when I hear that. And remember me when you go on to much bigger and better things, dub and you know.
Well, yeah, thank you for that review. That's really nice.
Joe and Darcy and Florida right in quite the couple, not the power couple because they don't call the show, but Joe and Darcy they are big podcast listeners and says reviewing again, I usually listen to my podcast on the Overcast app, but I re downloaded the Apple podcast app just to write this review. This is the most underappreciated talent at Fox Sports Radio. The addition of Danny
G has only made things better. I have been listening to Ben pretty much since the beginning, since I go back to when Tony Bruno was the late shift back in the day. One of the only podcasts Darcy and I listened to that is from Joe and Darcy. Thank you both, and that's great. Tony Bruno, the legend, the guy that created Fox Sports Radio back in the day, and the last one on Backscratcher. We'll get out on this Cliff in Nashville, right since says I've listened to
the Real Fifth Hour for the last few years. The content and conversations with Ben and Danny G are always interesting and entertaining about that their pop culture features and form of it, and usually pretty funny phrase or word of today brings the historical background of words and phrases to light love the podcast. Thank you guys. That is from Cliff in Nashville, he says to Ben and Danny G. All right, thank you, that's very cool.
Thank you.
All three of you appreciate the reviews. All four of you ost see one's a couple, so that's four people.
Ben.
That doesn't seem to add up. Help us out, Help us out, and we would love to have you writer you and we'll read them. We promise you scratched our back. We'll scratch your back here on the Saturday podcast. We'll get out on that. It is the fourth of November. I got the Breeders Cup later on today, the actual main event at the Breeders Cup.
Yeah, my horse is going to win.
Mine is going to win. Day.
My horse is gonna win.
I watched Mister Ed when I was a kid. I cannot screw this up. I cannot possibly screw this up. So have a great day anything yet, especially going on today. I'll be watching the Breeders Cup absolutely today.
Yeah, I'll definitely watch the big race, and then I'm gonna make a little Costco run nice.
All right. I don't know what I'm up to today. I have no idea. I'm just gonna roll with the punches. I just know I don't have to do any mala monologues. I don't have to worry about anything other than just sitting on my ass and trying to deprogram from the last few days. But have a wonderful, wonderful Saturday. Don't forget the mailbag, very important. You listen on Sunday, go into the mailbag and I don't even know what's in there. We'll find out together.
Yeah yeah, And let me say this for you. Don't miss Benny versus the Penny.
Oh that's right.
Yeah, see like me. I watch it at eleven pm on Saturday nights on the Great Lakers Spectrum channel. And that is here in southern California. If you're in the Greater Los Angeles area. That is the perfect way to finish off a Laker w Ben's post party.
You're just relishing. It's very, very annoying. I have a great day. We'll catch you next time.
Austa Pasta Hey, Hey, hey, where I let you go?
I like the Saints.