The Fifth Hour: "Ranch Lickin' Good" Mail Bag

That's what this is all about. Welcome in a brain new addition to the Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard and Danny G Radio, and we are here for you as a public service, eight days a week, eight days a week, we bring it. I know that's very impressive with Danny G. Good weekend so are with the great Brent Musburger on Friday and the tales of Mallard and Danny G on Saturday. And now we are ready to dive right in to the mail back. Are you prepared? It's been a great

weekend so far. As a producer for FSR, we always say this to the talent when we're going into the last hour of a good show. We tell them, great show so far, last hour, don't suck it up. Now exactly exactly, you must finish the race. If you're leading the New York Marathon at twenty mile mark, you have not finished the race. You still have to finish the race. You can't. You can't declare victory before the race is finished. The eighth inning of a baseball game with the rival

and you're winning five to three, you can't choke it away. Yeah, and you want to win. You want to finish this because then the crowd will go wild, everyone will be excited. The proper way to start a mailbag, There's only one way to start a mailbag, and that's our buddy, the great Ohio Al. Strike up the band, it's bag. All right, thank you, Al, And let's get to it here. I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah, you're excited. So we begin with a question from blind Emmett, the Seahawks

fan in Olympia, Washington. He's about to start college at Washington State. Good luck, Emmett, dominate Washington State. You'll probably have ladies all over you and get your attention and all that. You'd be very popular. But don't forget about us, Emmett. He says, this question is for Danny g because you already answered it. If there was a spider are in your car, like a big one, would you call your wife for the other car. So I heard this story from Coope off the air when he came in late

early Monday morning. So I'm guessing that he told the story on the air, and you guys all teased him, uh correct. Now, Coop showed up about fifteen twenty minutes late. I forget. I didn't like write it down, but he wasn't there when he was supposed to be there. And he usually cuts it pretty close anyway. He goes at the very last second, so he doesn't leave himself a lot of room. But he showed up uh late, and then explained that there was a spider he spotted in

his car. He got the E B G B S. He's got a rack neophobia, and so he pulled over in the parking lot and demanded his bride to be. He's not married yet, but he's demand his wife to be take her car and then switch cars. My chick would lie and never let me hear the end of it if I told her to come relieve me of a spider? Are you kidding me? I have to go help her with spiders. She screams when she sees one, and I look at it, I'm like, babe, come on, that's one of the big spiders that eats the bugs.

Spider's Benham never really scared me all that much, except for the black widow. When I see a huge black widow, Okay, I get it. Average in your house, up in a corner. Spider that is not gonna do anything to a human. Uh No. And it's funny because my stepdad, he was a huge guy, former offensive lineman in high school. He was one of those guys where he loved to try to intimidate people with his size. But whenever he would see a spider, he would scream like an eight year

old girl? What about a nine year old girl? It was awesome, but it was also very emasculating because I remember my mom giving him a lot of ship about that, and he was embarrassed by it. A spider wouldn't scare me like that. Maybe a snake. There was a snake coming through the vent in the car. Okay, then I would call somebody a spider. No. I would try to just beat the ship out of that thing until it was dead. And I gotta point out that the marketing

campaign for the Black Widow is wonderful. Like I'm the same way with the Black Widow. But if you go on the internet and type in deadly spiders, the Black Widow is really low on the list. Actually, that brown recluse. Right, Yeah, there's like there's a bunch of spiders that are more trouble to human beings. Nobody mentions those names because when the legend becomes the fact, you go with the legend.

It's the legend of Liberty Valance, and so the or the man who shot Liberty Valance, and so the legend is the Black Widow, and you forget all the other terrible spiders, and anybody brings those up, you're like, come, but no, those those other ones are worse in the black Wadow. It's kind of like dinosaurs. What if I asked you, Danny, what is the most famous dinosaur? That's right, exactly, t Rex. Because of marketing, people know t Rex, but there were a ton of other dinosaurs, but t Rex

is the most famous dinosaur. Yeah. Why did we all have to drink milk at the dinner table? Yeah? Why is that? Danny? Exactly? And and breakfast cereal like the whole. In fact, the entire slogan one of the great marketing success stories is breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Bullshit. But they had to sell I think it was Kellogg's if I remember correctly, they had to sell breakfast cereal. And for many many years, people for breakfast.

You know what they would eat, Danny, They would eat leftovers from the night before, if they had steak or whatever. But that slogan or whatever like pasta. But Dr John Harvey Kelly log the guy behind Kellogg's, It was his marketing slogan that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And there are people to this day that are convinced that is the case, when it was just something that a guy who needed to sell sereal came

up with. Anyway, getting carried away here next, you learn something new every week on this shows all Right, Chris and Marray Cocoa Iowa has a hodgepodge of questions. He says, don't you get aggravated when you are asked to donate money to charity outside a billion dollar corporation? Uh store? That one of the stories like about Walmart, I want to ask them how much the owners and CEO gave first. It annoys me to know and oh yeah, I'm right there with you, Chris. You know my thoughts on charity,

and you know I I am. I'm not saying you shouldn't be charitable, should be charitable, but uh, the when the big companies are asking for donations, I get a little uncomfortable. And the usually what they do is like, would you like to donate a dollar to so and see? Do you want to round up? Yeah? Like not with you, yeah, exactly. My answer is always no. My answer is always know and I like this, if I want to give that money,

I will make sure I give the money. And my wife and I we do, uh donate somebody, but we don't promote it. We don't announce that that kind of stuff. Rather take that cents from rounding up and send it directly to St. Jude's Hospital exactly. And you really have to do your homework. I have been fortunate over the years we had submitted profits that used to be one of the sports books. They would take a profit, they'd have a contest and then they donate thousands of dollars

to charity in the name whatever it was. I forget how much, but it was a good amount of money in the name of our show. And so what I would do is I would always I would spend a lot of time trying to find out which charities actually which. My big thing is cancer. I lost my mom to breast cancer, so I I always would go to the cancer charity. But a lot of them use weasel terms. Uh, they use awareness. I don't give a shit about awareness.

I think people know about cancer. So what I want is the money that goes to charity that that goes to research. Rapp research exactly. That's gonna help future generations where we're long dead and gone. And so, uh, there's a place in New York that does cancer a research. I forget the name off the top of my head, but they they're really good for example. But but yeah, to answer your question, Chris, that annoys me. Uh, Danny, you agree with me on that, right, we're both all.

He also says, best ride you went on at an amusement park as a kid or an adult? I don't know the best the one I love and I still even as an adults. Kind of embarrassing to say Pirates of the Caribbean, Like I go to Disney and I don't go there very often. But I flashed back to, like when I was a little fat kid and I get on Pirates of the ca of Me and and I loved it. It was cool. It was always I go to disney Land, be really hot, and it was always really cold, and there was you know, not the water,

and it was just just neat. But it was a lot different back then Pirates of the Caribbean because there were guys chasing women and it was not politically correct. The Wolkesters hadn't gotten to to Disney at that point, and so they did things a little differently. What about you, Danny, I love the Pirates of the Caribbean because of that smell. It's that water, right, It's the smell of that sitting water. Yes.

It's crazy how certain smells can trigger childhood memories, and for me, that's one of them because as a little kid, I was only maybe three years old the first time my mom brought me into Disneyland, but I remember because of that smells so distinctive to this day, when I walk into that ride, all of a sudden, I flashed back to the first time my mom brought me into that park. And it's also one of those things, as I remember back where you thought through the eyes of

a child. First of all, you thought you were going to a different world. I did. I was like, well, we're going under water, We're going down. You have to go down a couple of dropsy and so, oh my god. And as a kid, I was like, these look like real people. When you get to the lagoon too, after the drop, Yeah, and the fake bombs are going off in the water. Yes, as a kid, that was real. All of that that was happening was real. You're like, oh my god, I'm in a war zone and I

want to boat. And they did a great job the way they had the ceiling looked like the sky. All of that. As a kid, it fooled you. You're right. And remember the fat guy that would be sitting on the bridge drinking the bottle of whatever, you know, look at that. Oh my god, there's a big fat guy up there. And I was like, oh man, but that it's life for me. It's great. Uh. Chris and America. The last question says, is it okay to use the handicap stall when the rest of the bathroom is empty,

It has so much more room. Yeah, Jesus. Yes, if it's empty, it's there for somebody who's handy, handicapped. People will say, hey, don't be a douchebag, don't use it. But I gotta tell you, Danny, I use it. I use the handicap stall. I do sometimes too, Ben if the other stalls are too small, it's too claustrophobic. Can't relax. No poop comes out. If you can't relax, you gotta relax your your spincter. Uh. He says goal Raiders. Chris,

he's a fe like them already. And as you heard in the interview, I hope you heard it, Chris and Danny you heard this. Uh. Brent says he's still got he's got Raider season tickets. Yeah, you go to all the Raider games and all that. And he's got the VIC and stuff that he does in Vegas. But he's he's still a Raider fan, he said. Not doing the play by play anymore. Corey from Minnesota writes, and he says, have you ever taken psychedelics? He wants to know Aaron

Rodgers spawned this question. Yes, No, I have never taken the mushrooms or any of that. Uh, Danny have you ever dabbled in that world? Have you were gone down that road? Not purposely? Uh. The The only thing I could think of is I was at a recording studio in my twenties and they were all smoking there. That's a normal thing at a recording studio. Let's just call it coop because our listeners will know what that is.

So in the recording studio, we're outside and they're smoking coupe, and I felt really odd, though I was like, well, this is not the normal feeling. In about a half hour later, my world was spinning. The only I think I could compare it to is when you get really drunk, you're holding on for dear life because your world is just rotating. And so I don't know if they sprinkled,

has She's or something on top of that. But from that point on, Ben whenever I would go to a recording studio like that because I worked in the hip hop world, when somebody offered a piece pipe, I was like, no, no, no, that's all right. I'm good. Do you see any goblins like hobgoblins and you try to hide under a table and no, no, nothing like that. But I just remember I was outside of the studio, and my whole world was rotating. So that's the only thing I mean, I

have never I would not do mushrooms. I've never done any hard drugs, never cocaine. I'm on drugs right now. Man. You know, we grew up in the len Bias era where we were just scared to death, like we thought, oh my god, I could have an allergic reaction to drugs and die. Yeah, and I had to double whammy. I had a Jewish mother and I also len Bias and those guys and it wasn't just lenn By. There were other people, famous people who weren't maybe in sports

we dropped dead because they did the wrong thing. But that stuff still goes on today with the fentanyl and and and it's terrible. These kids had a buddy of mine in radio whose son, uh died because somebody put some fentan al on something he wasn't you know, whatever weed or whatever it was, and so he ended up overdosing and passing away. It's it sucks, man. You can't trust people you don't know, Yeah, for sure. Next up on the mail bag, see your Aenie Mini miney Mo.

Let's go to Neil from the real Miami, he says, deer dynamic, dynamic dual. I have been dabbling in YouTube documentaries and I saw one on Adam West nineteen sixty six Batman, and he says, you two have a lot in common. He was a radi you guy, big fan of Hawaii where he was recruited out of Hollywood because of his slick, seductive voice, where he worked with William Shatner who got him a huge boost like you, and

he got a huge Warner Brothers contract like you. He yeah, right, But anyways, I am a huge fan of the show. This show the real Neil or Neil from the real Miami says rather uh, he says, a big fan of the show. And I have a sentimental value as this was the one and only show I got that was exposed to as a in a refugee camp when my family and I escaped from Ukraine, the former Soviet Union.

But pity party apart, here's the question, Well, wow, I know you've told that you've given us details Neil about your life experience, but I am fascinated by that You've lived that life and you've done something that not not many have been able to accomplish and you're living a great life in Miami. You're a baller in South Florida. He says, what childhood show do you? And uh, I know, my Danny g still keeping your heart and why mm hmm. Okay.

So another sentimental question, Danny that we can answer here. And it's Sunday or Saturday, excuse me, Saturday Morning cartoons. Game changer now in terms of sports, this weekend baseball, oh nice, this week Oh god, I and oh I could not wait for the for this and that in

l a well, you know, it's growing up. It led into the Game of the Week on NBC, the game of look the Toronto Blue Jays and the Detroit Tigers or matched up whatever it might be, and I loved and but that was at a time we didn't get exposed to the other teams and the other sports in the sports world. And so those are a couple from me. Any of the any of the Saturday Morning cartoons, Fat Albert,

g I, Joe, you go down the list. But even like the Jetsons and the flint Stones, which were not on Saturday Morning, What what about you, Dean The Saturday before Saturday Morning cartoons, My older brother and I would wake up early then, and they would show reruns of different Strokes before cartoons started, all right, and that, For whatever reason, we loved watching the reruns of different Strokes. What's up, willis what you're talking about? Willis the line.

It's been so long. I knew the Willis part. The rest of it I did not get right. I don't know if you'll remember this or not. I believe it was on Channel two in southern California on Sunday mornings. There was a guy rowing a fake robot into a studio. He was an artist, and he drew pictures of Popeye and he hosted Popeye cartoons. I don't remember that. Kids

would send in mantle to him. They called it like squiggles, and they would do little shapes and stuff, and then he would draw a Popeye scene out of the kids art that they would send into him. It was like a Captain Kangaroo type of kind of Yeah. So this guy hosted those Sunday cartoons, which included George George George of the Jungle uh and and speed Racer. We didn't

have a lot of channels back then, No, we we didn't. Yeah, and it sucks when you ditched school and you had to watch TV because he couldn't go to school, and you'd watched like Bob Bob Ross, you know, painting or something like that. But I thought when you were describing the show originally, I thought you were gonna say The poor Man. Remember the poor had a TV show that

came a little later for us. He was a radio guy at k Rock in l A for years and created love Line and I think he sued everybody over that. I don't know if he ever won those lawsuits. I'm not sure how that played out. And the other show, which I don't know if you'd remember this, and maybe you don't even know who I'm talking about, there was a Wally. They guy named Wally George that hosted a show. It was like a political show. It was the funniest thing because he did a He did a show on

the weekends where you have guests on. It was like a late night talk show, kind of a Morton Downey Junior type. That's an outdated reference, but it was a confrontational political type show. But during the week he would do I think it was a half hour show in the afternoon, and it was the perfect time Danny, where all of us middle school school kids would get out of school and many of us would run home because he took phone calls, and we would do phony phone calls.

We would prank call Wally George. And the reason we would do it not not to say we wouldn't do that, but we would goof on him and he'd gets so upset, nanny, and he'd hang he'd hang up and start lecturing the person that would call in, and so that would just inspire hundreds of other kids to call in and bust his chops and it was hilarious. We would laugh our assid. We talked about that at school the next thing. It's like, dude, you the one that called, And I'm sure we weren't

the only school that was doing that. And a bunch of junior high school kids just harassing Wally George this play. Yeah, years ago, I remember that as well, So that is awesome. And running home from school, that reminds me. My older brother and I used to run home from the bus stop because we didn't want to miss the afternoon sports center. Oh yes, yeah, that's right, that was Musty TV. Yeah, I wanted to see the highlights. We wanted to see

what was going on. And I remember the day Al Davis drafted Bo Jackson and it was a story on Sports Center and we looked at each other and we're like, do you think you would play football? We were so excited, and of course the rest is history. But yeah, man, that was like our portal into the sports world. Was that afternoon edition of Sports Center? Yeah, and it was evening on the East Coast, but for us it was was it four o'clock with four pm? Yeah? Four pm?

I remember that. And I always love the trade rumors and Peter Gammons, you know, given the inside information on that, You're like, oh, I'm connected now, Gammons is giving me the scoop. I got the inside skinny now because Game

has told me what's going on. The funny thing about that is, as an adult, Gammon's ripped me on Twitter, which is you're talking about going full circle Danny as I when when show Hey Otani started at the beginning of his career with the Angels, the first couple of months did not go so well for show Hey, and I pointed that out, and Gammons was, I rate is far ras that I because something I had said kind of went viral and Gamon saw it and and he actually we we follow each other. It was a long

story anyway. That's like a badge of honor. That would be like if Todd Bridges ripped me on Twitter exactly different strokes, exactly. Uh. And Neo wraps up the email says, ps, scumbag. Justin and Cincinnati should only be allowed back on your live show when Deshaun Watson is back on the field. Terrible flop job on his part, the China James style. Well, yeah, Justin embarrassed himself and he has to pay the price.

I gave him the opportunity, Neil, you know this, and the fans of the show that are listening you might know this as well. I gave Justin the opportunity for an appeal. We would do it in the court of Mallard on air, and he could appeal his punishment. He chose not to do that. He's willing to accept his six month ban from Games. I don't know. You know, he's always been the kind of guy band who owns things.

Even when he's goofing around, he'll own it. So if he didn't own it, I don't know if there's anything there it No, no, he owned it. He did it. He he was the Manchurian candidate. He followed the Eddie gave the sign and Justin followed along. And it was horrible, like Trump's house being rated. That's that's actually the sound of Eddie when he went through the plan. What would I just put when he just played there? All right, let's see al right. Next up is Carlos and Houston.

He says, Ben, what's the origin story of the game magazine drop? It's one of my favorite drops on the show. You pay me five thousand dollars, I'll endorse a game magazine. You were way ahead of your time. Yes, I was. I was woke before woke with woke. It's a great point, Carlos, So I to be honest, I don't remember the context.

It was years ago. Was Jake Moarner was my engineer, and I was ranting about something on the weekends, and I if I remember correctly, and I probably don't remember correctly, but it was like I said, you know, I would do this before something else I didn't, you know, for you pay me whatever, and I endorse a game magazine. And of course, now who wouldn't endorse a game magazine? But but, but thank you Carlos. I'm glad you enjoy

that and some of the other edited drops that were thrown. Yeah, he says, what the what the f happened to sports Center? Or speaking of Sports Center, Danny, when and why did it get so crappy? Let's go to our sports sports Center expert Danny G Radio for more developing story. Danny, your thoughts on why Sports Center is like a hot turd? Well, there used to be this amazing chemistry between the two

of Sports Center. Of course, the most famous, right, Dan Patrick and his sidekick Keith Oberman back in the day, who's now part of the I Heart Family. Right, I heard that promo running. There were a couple other teams like that where the two guys had that synergy and that magic on air, and we couldn't wait to tune in and see those two guys. And all they did, Ben was have fun and report the sports stories. That's

all they did. Somewhere along the lines, Sports Center started to kind of go woke with a lot of their stories. They felt like they needed to be the change that they think America needed. Some viewers are going to change their viewing habits, that's just the bottom line. And I think that that started to happen with ESPN as a whole, and that also affected Sports Center, as you know. Yeah, and it's a great lesson and we've we've seen it

in all sports. And I they won't say it on the record, they'll never admit it on the record, but I've talked to people in the NBA in particular, and I love the NBA and I love talking about the NBA, but I get more crapp Danny when I talk about the NBA. You shouldn't do that, you know, all these idiots with the China thing and all that. But the NBA absolutely shot themselves in the foot with in with the slogans on the court and the uniform and all that.

And they assumed arrogantly that people maybe they'll stop watching for a little bit and but they'll come back, you know. But they haven't come back. And and so the NBA was sermonizing and evangelizing and shouting it from the pulpit, telling people that they're bad people, they need to do this that, and basically admonishing the consumer. And a number of people said f you and haven't come back. But as far as Sports Center in ESPN. I think the same concept as you said applies there that at least

have Jamal Hill. That's where they got off the tracks. Now, Ben, they've reeled it in because ESPN's latest president saw what we're talking about and he was like, all right, Remember they put out that famous memo to all their employees saying, let's try to get back to sports, and so they learned from that, but they took a hit from it as well. So there's just viewers that I don't think we'll ever go back to it. Yeah, no, it's true. And then the people that they lost, many of them

were the diehard Sports center loyalists. Where does sports and religion and state and all that mixed together. I have a huge pass by Q. Lebron can say whatever he wants after a game. I don't have to follow him on social media. I don't have to agree with his social opinions. But I am a fan of watching him play basketball. And so that's where I feel like with sports, it's an escape from the rest of the world. And so if I am a Lebron fan on the court,

at least I just want to watch him play basketball. Yeah, and that's the thing that they finally realized. And it's very long, you know, very long winded. If I'm the athlete and I have the means, I have the money and the celebrity, what I would try to do just my humble opinion, but I would try to go into the community and meet with leaders, use my money and fame if I needed to to bring sides together. Um, I wouldn't want to do it right in the middle of the game or what people are tuning into to

be entertained. I would do it on my own time in the community. Yeah. And no thy customer, right, no, thy customer, And that's important why I'm moving him. Uh. Next up is ozzywas uh Southern Cross Western Australia right soon, he says, Benn and Danny Gy, As you both have said with the Mallarmobile and the Danny G Rocket, I too recently had an altercation with my WA's mobile as a kangaroo decided to jump into the side of it and do a bit of damage. Maybe this should be

for Danny G's Animal podcast. Well, yeah, we gotta get that going, Danny Animal Thunderdome podcast. He says. My question is, though, do you guys have an encounter with a wild animal while driving. Have you had that encounter or is there anything in your neck of the woods that could do some damage? I do believe I tagged you on Twitter when it happened, as I was listening to your show when the Kangaroo did its business and I love the podcast. Well,

Ozzy was listen, I I hope you heard. You probably didn't because you were like blown away by the kangaroo. But we actually talked about that on the live air, as Helmetman would say, and that was amazing. That was the amount of damage Danny, that this kangaroo did to pour Ozzy Wise, they're from Western Australia, what a what a debuggle? There's really I'm trying to think like where we live, there's bears and things like that, and we

don't have crocodiles here. We don't have to worry about gators, so there's none of that. My runnings with animals, I've i've I had a rabbit I killed because it jumped in front of the car. And our main issue, I would say, Danny, driving the highways and byways of California is projectiles that people drop off their cars that caused damage. But have you had any run ins or anything, Danny

that pop into your head. There, No, you're right. Sometimes you're in a lane on a freeway in southern California and those rocks will come shooting up at your windshield from those trucks carrying the gravel. Uh. That's as hairy as it gets where we live, because we don't have,

you know, deer running in front of us where we're at. Um. I guess the only thing I could think of off the top of my head is that when I lived in Santa Maria, California, I was running a Pismo Beach radio station on the coast and I was backing out of my driveway one day. I get out of the car and looked, I ran over a snake. I was yeah, because I was in an area where the condos were. Where I lived, there were a lot of fields and

some rolling green grass and some dry grass. Um, so there were some snakes back there on the hiking trail and I ran over one of them. Ben that that was like for me a smile because I don't like snakes. So I was like, take that sucker. Did you grab the dead snake and hold it up as a trophy? And I did. I twirled it around over my head. Okay, Caroline, I raised it up for South Katalaka. That's the only animal that I've ever ran over. Okay. I do recall

I was in Pennsylvania with my younger brother. We were driving through that. We drove all the way from Philly to Pittsburgh, but we stopped off in what was the It was an old Civil War town, Gettysburg, famous Gettysburg address, and so there were tons of deer like I remember deer running in front of the car, like, well, this is something I don't get. I don't get in California.

Actually was just not totally true because going to to uh, what's the National Park I like to go to with the the big trees there COI yeah, there are dear that rome when you're coming down the hill from Sequoia. So everyone saw, but not not in the hustle and bustle of the city. All right, thank you, Azzy was and thank you for listening. I appreciate that international guy. We this is an international show Nanny in Australia all

over the world. Mike from Fulton writes in he says, I'm still somewhat of a recent addition to the Mallard militia, and last week you brought up that some long time fans of the show are bitter about the airtime I've been getting. With that in Mark, I thought i'd just tell you which of your celebrity fans have been welcoming and which ones haven't. Just because I was the new guy,

Mike says. He points out that Chaine in Des Moines, the late night drug tester, and Justin and Cincinnati have been great, while Mr Nice Guy Justin Cooper and Alfie alien O Pineer have been nothing but rude to me. Mike says, Mike, is do you ever worry about your more rabid fans like alf bullying away new contributors. Well, I wouldn't say alf per se, but Mike, as you know, and I want to know your story. Maybe next week, Mike,

you can tell me your story. You have become a rabid fan of our show, like all of a sudden, You have become a die hard supporter the last couple of months. But you're you're you've been around a Why why all of a sudden? I always wonder how guys fall into the show, like Mike from Fullerton, But we have had cases where listeners have been chased away because there's a lot of competition for attention. And the greatest example that was Ernie the Great Old Pineer who got attacked.

In fact, Alf was part of that onslaught Ernie the Great Old Pinter was the He was had Ernie as his avatar from Burton Ernie, and he got a lot of attention on the show. He was in the spotlight and some of the other customers, the other groupies of the show were very upset. They wanted brevity when it comes to Ernie the graad o Piner, and they attacked him and he actually quit the show. So it does happen. It does does happen, and we we want to can we all get along? Right? Can we all get along?

It's like the damn rally courts in high school. Yeah, it's it's there's a lot of drama. It doesn't need to be a lot of drama, but there's a lot of draw I got mail, yea, I got mail, yea. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Pierre from the Commonwealth Rights and he says, this is more of an apology than a question. I'd like to apologize to the great Danny G from my question about self serve

vending machines a couple of weeks ago. I feel partially responsible for his Pinkberry screw job, but not to the point of restitution. While I do feel bad, Pear says, I do feel bad that Danny G got taken to the cleaners. I cannot reimburse him because as of yet, I have not been able to cash a single one of these fs are Twitter contributor checks, very funny, like ten dollars lighter in the pocket from that Pinkberry machine.

He says. My question did Danny G, if not already answered back on Saturday, is did all of the cards that him and his TINDERNI put in the machine get charged? I know he mentioned four cards total and a five dollar bill, so the total heist would have been twenty five dollars if my Mallard math is correct. That signed Pierre from the Commonwealth. So Danny give us the inside

skinny spilled the beans. No, So three of the four cards that we put into the machine, they just said um canceled, transaction canceled with an X. Only one time did it say processing, and that was my Dodger debit card, and that did charge five dollars, and then the five dollar bill obviously got snaked, so out ten dollars. The other cards were not charged, so stand down. Yeah, everything's okay, Pierre,

it's well, not okay. You're out ten bucks. But yeah, but dude, I'm shook because that's like a quart of gas I gonna bought. Yes, yeah, it's like, oh, gas prices are down, No, they're they're so expensive. There's still much more than we were at a year ago or two years ago. This is how shitty everything has been with inflation and the cost of living. When my Tinderoni says, oh my god, look at that gas station, it's only

five forty nine. No, that's not a good deal. No, you woant have crapped your pants a couple of years ago. If gas got up to five exactly, that gas should be three dollars of gallons with that guy should be even like when you eat somewhere really really expensive and then the next day you go to a normal place and you think that those prices are so low. It's a mind trick. Yeah, perspective. Yeah, yeah, alright. Next up is Tammy in Montana. She says, hey, men of the

fifth hour. I want to give recognition to the people sending an emails for the mail bag. They are always great, Well, don't say always him anyway, Valls fan, Jimmy and I love the cuss words, so let them out. So Tammy would like to see us use a lot of profanity on the podcast about we've decided to cut back on that. We we did dabble in bad words, but we made a editorial decision Danny that it's probably in our best

interest to not go down that road. And and it's an homage to guess who who used to who used to bleep the words kind of bleep the word, but you could still hear the word. Oh, Jim, Jim Healy. Yeah, it's a it's a tribute to heally, Jim Healey, a great radio broad cast from before most people were alive. And I was a little kid when he got off the radio. But Jim when he went off the radio, but Jim would he would play bad words. But he put the beep in there, so you thought maybe it

was beat. But he put it in after the word, kind of a liddle of the word. And Ben explained that on a podcast almost a year ago, and ever since I've been doing it that way. Uh and Tammy says he wrote an all caps so this is important, Danny. Tammy says, I require the nickname roll Call. So without further a dude day is and what a woman wants. A woman gets most. I just got done giving her props on last weekend's podcast, and now she's gonna do this, Danny.

She wrote in all caps. Okay, all caps, So I am known as Baron, the Baron of Balderdash, Big gall Bladder, Benice the Menace, Captain Niser, the Duke of the north Woods. I have more drops. Bill Miller, General of Degenerates, Tycoon, I got it all over me of tease, Master of Disaster. You gotta let it breathe, Danny be Hustler, Batch of Philip, Buster than night Light of Nightlife, Pummeler of Producers. I can attest to that. Benny Brightside, Manity of Insanity, Mark

Cony Mallard, wrong money line. Mallard's one of those birds going emissary of embellishment, Weeknight wind Bag, Wizard of Wacky, Slayer of Naysayers. Remember that one Danny Slayer of Naysayers that deserves an extra drop I like the extended winner, Grand Goober of gas Have, the Oligarch of Dark Tower of babel On, Honest Adoni's Nocturnal Colonel, the Underdog of Monologue, and the Holy Pope of the Slippery Slope. Yeah, quality content right there. I have other nicknames if you want,

Danny have and say. She says she wants the the entire nicknames. I think Tammy did enough damage. All right, Sunday and mail back, Tammy says, was one of the best. I love the memory lane from you two and hearing the old drops question if you had no choice but to move in with an X, would you or would you sleep in a bus shelter? That's interesting, And she says, Ben, if your wife was naked and covered in ranch dressing and wanted you to off, would you Could you do that? No?

I could not do that. I come on, I haven't take a shower, bath or something like that. Do not want the devil's blood, Danny? What about we get some carrot sticks and celery and you would start dipping that off? No, no, no, no, no, not having I would if it was like she was covered in a a big thing of cool ranch to ritos, I might go there because that's just ranch flavoring. It's not actually ranch dressing. So I might go it's cool ranch. If she's covered in cool ranch de ritos, then I

might go that direction. Now, Danny X or bus shelter? Which one would you pick on that? Yikes? Well, my tender only listens to this podcast. So I'm gonna say a bus shelter. Okay, that's a good choice by you. Always a good option there. And uh, I think I wouldn't go bust shelter. I think I'd pick a underpass on the four oh five freeway. I think that's where I would. I would hunker down, and Tammy says, always remember I love you and we'll defend you will. Thank you, Tammy,

I appreciate that. Balls Fan Jimmy rights in from big Orange Country. We gotta pick up the pace here. Time is getting past this, uh, he says, balls fan Jimmy's for both of you. Would you rather take responsibility for losing the championship or have a teammate take credit for the win when you deserved it? You'd rather be winning? Yeah, I'd rather win. And the people that no, no, Yeah, you see the owner of the team, So who cares

if you got the credit or not. You don't know what you don't know, and you know what you know, and that only a right. Blake in Arkansas rights and thank you. Jimmy Blake in Arkansas says I have jumped up and down since day one that Deshaun Watson won't play this year. If ever, to your credit, Blake and Arkansas says, you are the only host that I have heard say you didn't think he would play in twenty two either pre NFL appeal. I was and am still shocked.

He wrote in all caps, Blake did that the Brown signed him. In the real world, people have been canceled for a ship ton less. He's a bum. I am as anti cancel culture as you are. But if there ever was a damn good reason to cancel, well it's him. Does that make me a Karen? Okay? Uh? Well, Daniel have to be judging you on your Karen ability. And of course we need to change the name because Eddie's wife is named Karen, So I don't know. That's a

little uncomfortable when we use the word Karen. But it's not canceling, it's putting on time out, which is okay. I got put on time out when I was a kid. You do something wrong to go to the principal's office, you go to the detention and all that, and so it's okay and you are correct, though you're talking about people get and canceled some of the some of the bull crap that has happened here. Remember the guy that did the King's grant napier. Yeah, and he said all

lives matter. He got canceled for that. Uh. In fairness though a lot of people said he was a major dick squad for years leading up to that. Yeah, but that was a takedown by DeMarcus Cousins, and I was, yeah, they were, they wanted to get rid of him, but he had that jap for like thirty years in Sacramento. Yeah. I think that was just like getting a cranky old teacher out of their position. Yeah. Well, I I think

it was ridiculous. And then there was several others that have lost the gigs because of uh, just mere words, not action that they got less. But is this guy Karen is Blake of Karen Danny No, Uh, you know the time I meant to Shawn Watson, he was super relaxed. Now it makes sense must must have had a nice massage, you know what. Bubbo had a great thought on this a couple of weekends ago when the two hosts that we were producing, we're going back and forth about the

whole Deshaun Watson suspension. Bubb said, everybody keeps talking about this, but nobody's telling the truth. Deshaun Watson just dirty girls from Instagram. And those girls all saw they could get a pay day, and so they all have the same story. Now all he did was groupies from Instagram. Piece. We were we were talking at work the other day and we were trying to figure out the origin, like assuming the Watson did have this massage fetish, like this KICKI massage?

Things like did it start at Clemson? Did it start in high school? Like? And and one of the guys that I don't know if they want me to give them credit, but one of the one of the people at work said, they think what happened was that Watson He's first ever massage ended with a little rub and a little uh tongue bath, and because of that, that was his thing. And so now he expects that wherever he gets a massage, and so when it doesn't happen.

He's tremendously disappointed because he associates a massage with that nice fun stuff for him, you know, all right? Next up is Brianna. She says, I've been a loyal listener to the Big Ben Show for fifteen years, double lane crossing. Bob was the best assistant, and Danny G has phenomenal chemistry and talent for the radio. Wiry Ben the fifth hour has become must listen. Well, God bless you, Brianna. Here's my question. What's your favorite winery in Santa Ynez?

And if you don't have a favorite, what's your top two or three choices. I've been a member of Sunstone and enjoy their wines. What region do you prefer the most? Temecula, Santa Ynez or Passo Paso roblest I, Well, I'm not I'm not a wine drinker, so I'm not the guy to asked, but Danny G is the expert. I have spent of those three to Meculous near Sandy. I've spent a lot of time and it probably Impasso Robless more

than any on the way up through central California. Have any advice here for our friend Brianna Danny, when you're driving through wine country, you know what, whatever catches your eye like. That's why they all try to have the best curb appeal, because there's so many to choose from. So we usually will go by, look at that one, look at how amazing that one looks, and honestly, we'll just stop at one that we didn't even read a

review on just because of the way it looks. And then you go in and just do the wine tasting, get your buzz on, and then you know, go to the next one. A lot of it is just curb appeal, honestly, Well, you want to enjoy the journey. You don't want to have a desk. Let's see what it pops up along the way. I will do some quick ones here, Danny will get out on a few quick ones. Barry in Nashville says, yo yo, mob Benny. The Lions are the feature team on Hard Knocks this year. What a joke? Well,

the Lions are joke. Will you be watching this season of Hard Knocks might be the only way people watch the Lions this year. No, that's not true, Barry. Everyone watches the Lions one day year Thanksgiving. One day here we all watched the Lions and and that's our our charity. I will watch Hard Knocks, but I don't watch it the night the show airs because I've got my other things to do. I usually watch it on demand on the weekends. I'm a week behind Hard Knocks. Did you

see that passionate speech from that Lions player? I did, I saw I I did see that bouncing around. So this isn't not who we are. We don't have a losing record like that. It was Jamal Williams that gave that speech. I think there's a chance that he knew that he was on camera and that might be Hard Knocks. You think maybe a little bit, all right? Travis and Roseberg Oregon says he's vacationing in the Bay Area this week. Picked up a little Gara Deli chocolate along the way.

How much of that goes to your pocket? Nig Okay good Tony in Seattle, says Benjamin and Danny g What is your all time most embarrassing moment. I don't know that we have time to get into that now. I've had many embarrassing moments, most of them involved the radio, although one I was at the Fox lot. I've told the store before and I sat on a chair. There was a screw that was sitting up on the side

of the chair. I ripped my pants and I had to walk out of the Fox studios with all these big TV people, and I had to walk kind of out of I walked down a fire escape. I walked with my butt to the wall because my pants were ripped and you could see my underwear. It was very embarrassed. Yeah, Nick and Wisconsin, says Ben and Danny g Would you rather lose your sense of taste or lose your sense of touch? I didn't lose my sense of taste and smell when I had COVID last year. And my wife

gets upset because I wasn't that upset by it. She was very emotional. Oh my god, my life is. It's like, this is great. I can eat vegetables now I can't taste Bella's. Bella's got terrible breast. She's an old dog. I can I can get right in her face. It doesn't matter. I like, this is really not that bad. But I was happy when those things came back. But I didn't really mind it that much. But if it was forever, that's a tough one. Uh. And the last

one Jason and Rocky Man. Virginia says, yes, guys, I am fascinated by your pending move to Burt Bank or Burt Bank that will happen in the next few years. So ask your bosses if they need any extra wires. I've got a ship ton laying around that I can ship to you. Anyways, keep killing it on the past podcast. So that's Jason and everyone else. I'm sorry if we didn't get to you great questions this week. Yeah, this

was a really good meal. Ba. I think it's because I put I posted on Monday, so I think what I'll do now is I'll post on day. Oh boy, come back. No, the listeners all unleashed a beast. Yeah, exactly, all right, Danny, we gotta get out of here. You've got places and go. I got things to do. I'll be back tonight. I know. It was away a couple of days because my brother was in town, so I had to take a couple of nights off. You know,

family from New York, my my nieces. They're all pretty much grown up now, they're almost grown up, so I had to see them before they run off and live their own lives. I'll never see them again. Uh and but I'll be back tonight behind the magic microphones at Fox. And what do you have going on, Danny, Yeah, right before your first show of the week, I'll be in there having fun with Covino and Rich and then Ernie Spaniards in there with Chris Point before you get on

the mic. Outstanding listen, have a great day. Thank you for supporting the podcast. Give us those reviews. Tell a friend we need. We have no budget, we have no marketing campaign, there's no billboards, there's hardly any promos running for this thing. So it really is word of mouth advertising, and it means a hell of a lot. You tell people, and you know, even if it's just one person and they they listen, that helps us out a lot. Yeah, as Ludicrous would say, word of mouth. Yeah. All right,

have a great day. We'll talk to you next time. Asta pasta, I gotta murder, Gotta go.