Kubbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Big Ben and Danny g the Extra Crispy, Extra Spicy podcast that's here every single freaking day. As we head into what will be a glorious second day of the month of June. Where's the time gone? June was almost over? Already second day, unless it's not almost over. We got a long way to go. But this is fun. The next month, next couple months. Weather, it's great, right, whether it's solid, get to go out, great outdoors. Sports radio.
This is what separates the children from the adults, those that can still produce. They you'repelling sports talk radio show.
This doesn't have the number one station anymore.
It's let's hope Ben, that gas does not hit seven dollars a gallon here in California because they know that we're driving to you know, see family and vacation a little bit.
Yeah, well, it's uh, it's guaranteed. As we talked about. I think we talk about this podcast. I don't know, but the gas tax, which is going to go up fifty cents next year and then fifty cent can.
To talk about that on the podcast?
I guess we didn't talk about it all right, but yeah, there's a story that there's a it's written into the law unless they change it. In California in twenty twenty five, the gas tax is going to go up fifty cents a gallon, and then the following year it's going to go up another fifty cents. So that means without even the oil companies, you know, the Saudi government raising the price of oil opek, it's guaranteed to go up one dollar.
It's already we're already paying over two dollars, like two dollars and fifty cents more than the rest of the country. It's gonna be three point fifty in California more per gallon.
Come on, two years and bullshit. On Friday's podcast, I made a moped joke about Lorena. I'm gonna be buying a moped. I'm gonna get one of those little ninjas that New Addition used to ride in their music video Gas Yourself Up Man Gassed.
Yeah, well you know already. Get those electric bikes. They go up to like eighty miles an hour. Now, just get an electric bike.
I have an e bike. I don't think it's okay for the freeway though.
Well, hey, I'll get an ee bike. I'll be the fat guy on a knee bike. I mean, it's so stupid.
I'm gonna take these chicken wings to the neck. Yeah, fat guy on a knee bike.
But yeah, they're gonna wait and neverly. Every year or so, the oil companies decide they need more money the OPEQ folks, and they gouge the price of gas. And at that point that well, we should do something about this. Will you be proactive? They're never proactive. Politicians always reactive, right, always reactive, never proactive.
It's a well, maybe when our next president is sitting in prison, he can he can help us with a bill to end this madness. We didn't do.
Anything wrong, very innocent man.
That'll be the ultimate who am I game? Who am I I am the first president to pardon myself while while being my first day as president. What a what a word?
I got a letter from the government the other day. I opened and read it. It said they were suckers. I want them to do a music video like Tupac from behind Bars. That would be awesome.
H so so good, so good. All, let's get to the mail bag. Are you ready for the bag? What's in the bag?
The mag? Mag mag, the mail bag?
What's in the box. It's all right, thank you very much, ohio al. And these are actual letters send in by actual listeners like yourself. If you would like to send a letter in and you're not AI, you're a real person, we'd love to have that. And I stop putting this on Facebook. Maybe I should put this on Facebook again. I stopped. I said, you know, people, we have enough people now listening to this podcast. We don't really need to horror sell about on Facebook. Maybe I'll do that
every once in a while. But write this down. Put this in your phone. I probably don't have a pen who writes, you know, stuff down. Real fifth hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth hour at gmail dot com is the way to approach this. Real fifth hour at gmail dot com and we will said right now, you will use your question. If it's somewhat decent, if we have time to get to it, we will use it. We would love to have you be part of this. We've had some new names recently in the mail bag,
which is great. We love our regulars, we love the base, the core base, but we also like hearing new people contact the show. First one up is someone that we are not I'm not familiar with this person. Maybe they were at the event they're in Tempede, Danny g Mike in Phoenix. On the mail bag, he says, Ben and Danny, do you guys see the story this week that Chipotle customers are filming the food being made. Yes, they think they can get didn't you you sent me the story?
Did?
Yes? I did. We didn't do.
Foody fun this weekend. But Mike said, the people have been filming their food being prepared, trying to get more bigger portions of.
Food because the influencers have been going in and filming their bulls or burritos being made, and whenever the employees are on camera, they stack they pile the ingredients high. So now random people are going in pretending like they're filming or just filming for fun to put pressure on the Chipotle employees. Yeah.
So Mike's question is Ben and Dandy, do you think this actually works? Is I you want to go first? I go for it. I think yes, yes, yes, it does work. I do watch those foodie things on Instagram.
M hm.
The only things on Instagram are food bloggers, travel bloggers, and women shoving their ass in the camera. That's about it, right, Is there anything else on Instagram? And I don't have a problem with any of those, and some I like more than others. But anyway, yeah, I totally when I
see food of bloggers, and it's not just Chipotle. There's a guy that I follow and he goes to order pastrami at the hat and they pile like two pounds of pastrami on this guy's sandwich because he's recording it exactly.
There's evidence and they don't want to look chinzy in front of the camera. Yeah.
And there's a thing that I've talked about a few times every year is called the hawthorn effect. Are you familiar with the hawthorn effect? No, it's this goes way back. There was a study done with factory workers about productivity. And they determined that productivity increased when people were being recorded, when they were being observed, that it manifested. You know, people were motivated to uh to actually work, and when
they weren't being recorded, they didn't work as hard. It was a behavioral study and all that they called the Hawthorn effect, where people they know they're being recorded, they're they're going to clean up their acts. They're going to present a better, better, better effort whatever. You're not going to steal as much. People gonna act nicer.
But my question, Ben really quick, the employee, your last name's not Chipotle, You're not mister or missus Chipoltle. So why are you being such a tight ass, a tightwad with the servings until you get on camera. Why can't you hook people up with their money's worth so that they'll come back to your restaurant again and again.
No, I agree with you, and I have not. I don't know if I should admit this, but I have stopped going to restaurants. When I go in there and it's a restaurant where you can see them preparing your food, it's like and there's like a scoop of rice, and if there's one more grain of rice in there, they take it out, you know, because it's too much.
Yeah. And then like they do this at Panda Express sometimes.
Yeah. And when they weigh that really pisses me off. When they like they weigh each portion of the meal. I'm like, dude, come on, are you that hard up?
Yeah?
Are you struggling that much?
You got it subway started doing that, remember, And people are like, I'm out. I don't like the taste of this place anyways.
Yeah, it's a little much to me. You know, if you're that, if the margins are that thing, you might want to just close your business down. It's not worth it. Just move on. But I'm glad, thank you, Mike. I didn't want to mention that we didn't do Foody Fun. I was gonna mention it in Foody Fun. We didn't have time to get to it over the weekend. So you did send me that, Danny, And so I'm glad Mike.
Mike mentioned that. Next one up on the mailbag, he'll Mike writes, and he says, hey, big Ben and Danny, I don't want to make you Ben feel old, but now you know, Danny, when you hear the word butt is what is my rule? The rule of rules here right. Everything a person says before the word butt is a lie.
Yep, or with all due respect.
Yeah, lie, lie, lie lie. Everything a person says before the word butt is a lie. So when you say, I don't want to make you feel old, but you know what's coming next, He'll billy. Mike writes, When I went from loading trucks at ups to being a tractor trailer driver class of two thousand in Richmond, Virginia, I discovered you on AM radio Stames. I quickly made a list of AM stations up and down the East Coast so I could try to keep up with you as
each station died off. Praise the Lord for iHeart and podcast. He says, Hey you Jesus. He'll billy Mike continues Saturday, June first, he says, so yesterday, today's a second is my official retirement date, and I wanted to thank you and the different iterations of your late night crew for getting me through twenty four years in feeders from start to finish. He says, no promises, but I'm going to try not to drop off of the face of the earth.
Love you guys signed, He'll Billy Mike. Wow, Well, Dravo. We don't do shout outs on the radio show, but that it is awesome, tremendous honor and I love He'll Billy Mike. That really fires me up that you were able to listen all these years. I'm flattered. I will brag to my wife about you. I will brag at when I have to do small talk. You know, he'll Billy Mike. I don't like doing small talk, but I will bring this up. That is outstanding in a major pump of the ego. That's why I got into radio.
We're old, Danny, but I used to love listening the far away radio stations and trying to I pulled the story. I would listen to Phoenix. I grew up in southern California. I would listen to Phoenix Suns broadcast.
YEP with Al McCoy.
Late at night, I would get Utah right, Utah Jazz out of Saint George, Utah with hot Rod Huntley. I got the Golden State Warrior Games on KNBR. I got the Sacramento Kings Games.
Did you ever hear those bums broadcasting Giants games?
I did? I did hear the Giants broadcast. I even heard I'm so old. I heard the Phoenix Firebirds, the Triple A team in Phoenix, the Triple A baseball team music when I was a kid.
Do you ever hear Bill King doing Oakland.
A's Oh yes, the legend, Oh Bill King? And I was lucky enough to meet him. What a cool dude, Bill King. I love that that guy.
Man, dude. I got to hear two of the best baseball guys growing up. Half my family in La the other half in the Bay. So I grew up with Vin Skull and of course broadcasting Oakland A's games Bill King and Raiders games for that matter.
Bill King was awesome and I did do the Coca Cola road befoort for the Oakland Athletics in my early days in radio, and when the A's would come to Anaheim. They didn't play Dodger Stadium in those days, there was no inn League play, but when they'd come to Anaheim they did several times a year. I got to hang out in the broadcast booth with the A's broadcasters, and they were not great at that time. It was kind
of in between. Remember they had the eighties early nineties, they had some really good teams and then there was like a dark period in the mid nineties where they
weren't very good. And that was kind of the period where I was around the A's a little bit, but Bill King was the play by play and Ken Korak was just starting and I just I ran into Ken last year and it looks like he's you know, I don't know if he's gonna how many more years he's gonna do this, Probably gonna retire, but they're gonna be a Sacramento exy.
I say, you've been around for his entire career.
But he'll Billy Mike Man big big things.
Yeah. Man, that was awesome to hear that. So shouts out to you hill Billy Mike.
Yeah. And I will tell you hill Billy Mike from doing these Malla meet and greets. And a lot of the boys that listen are kind of they're tired. They can stay up all night and listen and they can do whatever they want, and so we don't want you to stop. I mean, you can listen whatever you want with the podcast. You don't have to stay up all night, but you got nothing else to do. Fred from Florida writes and says, hey, Ben, Danny, I heard your story
Ben this past Monday night. He's I was actually Tuesday morning. He says, your story about the intersection takeover, It was pretty funny. Which one of you guys would be better at doing donuts in an intersection? My vote goes to.
Danny say, well, you don't even know how to drive a stick.
I know how to eat donuts. I don't know how to I don't know. I don't. No, that's not yet, but I'll let you know if I changed my team on that. But but no, I don't. I would be paranoid. I was going to crash into a signal or kill someone, So I would not be good at that. Have you ever done donuts, Dandy back when you learn how to drive? Did you?
Yeah?
In an empty parking lot. But I've never done it around other cars or people because I would take two or three out. Yeah.
Liability, lie, Lie, I don't have.
That kind of insurance. Yeah.
My other thing, Fred, you know, I'm I'm a tight wad, So I'd be like, I'm screwing up my tires. I'm gonna have to go on you know, tire rack and get more tires. You know, I can't burn the rubber here. That's not good for the tires, not good at all. Ted writes in from Kansas City, says, they've been how come Eddie doesn't give the Royal score but he gives w NBA scores. Your show is on the Royals home six ' ten sports in Kansas City?
Who Goofed?
I gotta know, all right, so this is actually funny, Ted, my friend Bob Fesco. I go on with Bob on his show every Thursday morning. I do a spot like ten minutes on Fesco in the morning and Bob tells me that they have a text line. You'll get a kick out of this, Danny. So Bob tells me they have a text line. We're called you know like we used to have remember the Fox text line back in
the day. So they have a text line. They still have it, and he says almost every morning they will have a text when they come in to do their morning show someone complaining that Eddie didn't give the Royal score. And so now we are this guy Ted. Ready, I've tried to explain to Eddie. I'm like, Eddie, you know, I know you do games of note, but we're on you know, certain cities, and the Royals actually do not suck, right, I mean they're actually they were supposed to suck.
What else do you think they see on this text line? Though? After your show, Andrea, make it stop fifteen minutes? What's going on?
That's only justin in Cincinnati. But but yeah, no, so it's it's I've told Eddie. I get the sense, though, when I complain to Eddie about something, I think he believes that I'm just kidding around. I don't think he thinks I'm being serious. That's probably a me problem, not a him problem. I just have over the years. My sarcasm is so powerful that Eddie he doesn't believe anything
I say. But the Royals are right there. I mean there are a few games behind the Cleveland Guardians if you look at your American League standings, and the Royals are a wild card team.
All right, I have an assignment. I have an assignment for your Big Bob starting tonight, going into the Monday Morning show. After Eddie does his update and leaves the Royals out, I want you to jump on and before you say thanks, Eddie, I want you to give the Royals score yourself every time. It's a great idea.
That is a brilliant idea. And then I will increase my market share in Kansas City, which is the home of the Ben Mallor chicken figure.
Exactly, Hello, Kansas City, you owe that city?
Exactly? That's my town, all right? At the landing in Kansas City in Liberty, Missouri, Greater Kansas City area, just down the road from the Royals play and the Chiefs play that great sports complex. But in Liberty, Missouri, at the Landing they have the Mallard chicken fingers on the menu. I'm gonna I'm gonna start doing that. I'm gonna start, in fact, i'll start tonight. It'll be my fun fact. Can I do a bottom of the hour fun fact? That my fun fact will.
Be the Royal Square. The text line is gonna be like, did you hear him giving the fun.
It's a great idea, all right, Mike In the hometown of Kobe's favorite Mexican restaurant, Fullerton, right sin, he says, Hello, bandon, Danny. When you buy a dozen donuts, Mike Rights, how do you fill out your order? I tend to go with some glazed and chocolate East Donuts. A few Long John's, several cake donuts, one or two twists, and then I finish it off with a couple of cinnamon rolls. That says Mike, Well, this was actually the great debate cinnamon roll.
This is the great debate that we had during the week because I pointed out, yeah, I merely pointed out, I'm right that the cinnamon roll is a donut. Every time I've gotten a Sina roll, it's at a donut okay, And so no it's not, you know yet again pushing back.
So this is the perfect time to ask this. Then Alf the alien o Piner sent me a direct message and said Ben might interpret my question differently than you for the mail bag, So I want you to ask this question unbiased. Is a cinnamon roll a donut? Yeah?
Well yes, the answer is yes, it's you buy it at a donut shop.
But it's a roll though.
It's a donut roll, is what it is. It's a cinnamon donut roll, That's what it is.
But like the cinnamon roll place that I go to in Pismo Beach, which, man, if you ever get to go to Piss Beach, California, oh man, you've been.
There before, right, I have been there. I love having yea.
So they have this cinnamon donut place, as you would call it, but it doesn't say donut. It says cinnamon's.
That's their problem, not a meat problem.
Down the street there's a donut shop and it says donuts. Here it says cinnamon rolls.
Pillowy, soft, buttery, melt in your mouth, wonders.
I will settle this once and for all. Okay, I will settle this once and for all. I had a conversation with a cinnamon roll before I ate it. I had a conversation the cinnamon roll informed me it identifies as a donut. It's that's what it's used to. It uses the donut bathroom. So the cinnamon roll is a donut. Okay, it is a donut. In fact, I have this. How about Berry in South Carol. I met Berry Yo Yo
Ma Benny previously in Nashville. He says, okay uh. He says, if these other guys say it has to be a hole, have a hole to be a donut, how can they explain the parlor donuts? He says, this is a donut place with many locations, and most of the donuts they sell don't have a hole. And these donuts are amazing, but they call them donuts. And these are just a few of the awesome donut flavors. He said, a picture here of the different flavored don't wait exactly and very
air high five to my guy Barry. All right, my guy, because you also he showed me a photo from food Line, which is a big grocery store chain in the South, bigger than Pigley Wiggly in the Carolinas, and they sell in their baked goods. They have food Lion Bakery. Cinnamon rolled donuts is what they have.
Aha, I just found this online. The cinnamon roll is a variation of a donut. So that's not a donut, it's a variation of one.
Well, it's got donut DNA h. And that's good enough for me. That that is more than good enough for me. I'm fine with that. Outstanding, out f and standing, okay. And I don't care what Google says. Okay, I don't need Google.
You care about every other thing it says.
Well, I am selective. I pick and choose what I choose to believe. And I'm on the right side of history. And I'll enjoy my cinnamon rolls. And you, you evil people. Next time you eat a cinnamon roll, you're gonna get heartburned because of the evil anti cinnamon role position that you have taken. Okay, I stand, I stand with the cinnamon roll.
But thank you, Bill, you just called it a role.
Anyway, al Fright's in the aforementioned nowf he says, from the death dedication mail bag with Snuggles, the dog that is still that is so so wonderful. Snuggle is also the mascot for a certain cleaning product.
But he was a little dog named Snuggles. But he was most certainly a prior. That's gonna start again him coming out of the record. See when you come out of those up tempo numbers, man, it's impossible to make those transitions.
And then you got to.
Go into somebody dying. Okay, I want a concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a tempo record. Every time I do a death dedication.
So good casey casem sick and tired of doing having an upbeat song, and I gotta do a death dedication upbeat record. Oh yeah, so so wonderful. Anyway, Alpha says, have either of you ever requested a song on the radio. Also, have you ever taped music off the radio? He says, yes, I am that old. No, I never. I never did that. I did call I was a kid caller to radio. I used to call radio shows when as a kid,
I did get tapes of people. My friends would record music they wanted me to hear because they thought it was really cool. But I never did the actual record. I did record the Jim Healy Show, which was a huge fan of when I was a kid, on cassette tape because that's all we had before podcasting, so I had. I did that, but that that was about it. Did you ever call up a radio station, Danny, before you started radio when you were about nine?
Yeah, I called my coworkers. They're like, you little shit kid, it's bad enough you're already in our studios here as a I don't know. I guess I was in junior high school at the time. But we did it in elementary school, my older brother and I. We would tape radio segments every day, songs every day, and what you would look for is the moment they would play your favorite song at the time without talking over the intro.
That was how you got a copy of the song without paying for it, or before it maybe it was not even available yet at the warehouse Music or wherever Sam Goodies, wherever you bought your music from. So yeah, we would record play and record the buttons down at the same time every single day on our boombox. It was majestic, and then calling in. I remember one time calling one six km el in the Bay Area asking for Skilo I Wish and the DJ said, man, I like your voice, I like your vibe. I'm gonna put
you on the radio. And he hangs up and I'm like, am I gonna be on the radio next? And sure enough he played our phone conversation back and it was the overnight guy Ben So I was on there are sixty thousand watts of power, like at one in the morning. And I remember bragging to everyone the next day, like, yeah, I was on camel last night, come.
On awesome, right it was. I used to call up so many radios. I called the show in Vegas. I've told this story a few times over the years, but I was a regular on this this radio show in Vegas that was on overnight, and I knew I wasn't very good as a caller, like I just knew it. You know, I was a kid and I'm talking to grown ups here, and this one show would keep me on the air for a very long time.
You're like the kid caller we used to have call in on the Ben Mallard Show.
Antonio, you're talking about it, yes, yeah, and TONI is probably in college now. But anyway, geez, time does fly, my god. Nonetheless, So I used to call up and then one time I was like, I mean, you guys are so cool. I mean, I really think I know you got other callers and you put me on.
No, we don't.
You're the only You're the only call we have. That's pretty much why why they kept me on the air, because they had no one else. Yeah, it happens, Kwang, he says in Vietnam. In Vietnam writes, and he says, hey, Ben and Danny, Daddy g He says, Daddy, I tend to favor blue bottle caps subconsciously when purchasing water. What is your all favorite? And then he says, and I didn't know this. The different colors of water bottle caps often indicate different types of water. Did you know that?
Danny had no idea?
I had no idea either what is your favorite type of cap of a water bottle or favorite color?
Well, smart water is my favorite water to drink. I've never paid attention to the bottle cap color though. Well.
According to Kwang, who says he's in Vietnam, he says white or clear caps usually used for regular or purified drinking water. If it has a blue cap, that often is used for spring or mineral water. A green cap often indicates that the water is flavored or infused with natural flavors like lime, cucumber, or mint. I don't know that's true, though. Isn't aquafina green? And that's not They don't have lime.
The actual water is green. The cap I'm like, is green inside? Is it?
Maybe it's the sign? Maybe maybe that's cheap one. Yeah, but they don't. It's not flavored with lime. Quang says red in most cases. In some cases, rather red caps signify sparkling or carbonated water, and black occasionally used for alkaline or premium water products. Racist A couple of thoughts. A. This is really cool. B. I don't know if this is true or not. Maybe you made it up. I don't know it's I want to believe it so there's that. And see, much like you, Danny, I've never paid that
close attention. I usually get Kirkling brand water bottles, which are just clear or white, so I guess that's just regular purified drinking water, nothing special.
Regular old white.
I just go to South Carolina, all right, anyway's Reggie writes. In next she says, hey Ben and Danny, hey Ben, I loved your monologue about Jorye Lopez mound meltdown with the Mets this week. If either of you guys won the lottery, would you storm off the radio in dramatic fashion A Laho Lopez. But but Reggie, hory Lopez didn't storm off because he won the lottery. He had a bad day. That's why he stormed off, not because things were going well. So that's not a great, great question.
But Danny, if you want it, you want it big. You got a lot of money, Maybe you inherited money from a relative you didn't know existed and they died and gave you all their money.
Would you No, I would dramatically purchase the radio network, not make any changes, but have a staff meeting and announce to the staff that no changes are going to be made. Yeah. Would you give everyone more money though, that would be part of the change. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be a change. That would be a change. So I would give everybody a raise, but I would close the gap between the hosts and the production crew. Way back in the day, whoever set that up set it up really poorly.
This is probably not gonna make you feel very good, but when Fox Sports Radio started, they paid producers a whole lot of money. At some point along the way, they're like, well, we got to cook caf so we'll just cut back and pay the.
Producer, the ones who we sit on the shoulders of the most. Let's cut their pay.
No, but I remember they hired when the network started, they had hired some big producers from ESPN, gotcha, brought them here, and they paid them a lot of money, like they were making, probably.
Probably hoping they could book some really good guests and do all that, right.
I guess. I don't know what their motivation was, but they paid them a lot of money. And you know, slowly, I know, and not really slowly. Over the years, it's gone down, down, down, down, down, down, down down down, unfortunately mass high.
I mean, not for me. I'm rich, but of course the other producers. I want to look out for them.
Yes, me too, as I do podcasts or radio shows every day of the week. Masshole Matt right since says he's no relation to masshole Mickey. He says, I love hearing your show. Driving my trash truck around Boston. I listened on the sports that well, thank you, because without the trash truck everything starts smelling.
Oh that's cool.
Do you have an update on your TV show? Has it been canceled or picked.
Up before we talked yesterday?
We talked about this yesterday, but I don't know. Hopefully you'll be back. I haven't heard anything. Probably will know, you know the way this works from last year next. I would say by the end of this month, probably closer to the middle of this month, I'll know whether it's gonna be picked up or not. But I haven't
heard anything. I'm optimistic. I've heard, you know, I've rumors that things are going in the right direction, but uh, Danny, as you know, until you actually get things presented, it's uh.
You could follow.
No.
I heard rumors that they may want the original penny.
Oh well, hey, listen, you never know. If you know Looney I asked for too much money or whatever.
But yeah, if he wore one too many green shirts on set.
With the green screen behind him, just outstanding, that'll be in my book. All Right, have a wonderful I'll get out on that, have a wonderful Sunday, enjoy the rest of your weekend. I'll be back tonight though, And I got remember to give those royal scores.
To get Yeah, please make a note set an alarm on your phone right now. That way it reminds you.
All Right, very good, Danny. You'll be back tomorrow with Covino and Rich.
Yes, yeah, we'll have a fun Monday show with the game Last One Standing, which features Ben Maller's voice in the open I love and that is That is of course two hours two to four pm on the West Coast and five to seven pm in Stanford, Connecticut.
There you go where NBC is headquarteredt Stanford, Connedickut. Yeah the peacock. All right, pete good. We'll talk to you next time.
Austa pasta got a murder. I gotta go,