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The Fifth Hour: Radio Wars

Dec 24, 202251 min
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Episode description

Ben Maller and his 5th Hour homie Danny G. are having too much fun for your Saturday, talking Nerd-tastic, Jump Around, Dr. Seuss, Market Research, Back Scratcher, and Pop Goes the Culture!

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Transcript

Speaker 1

Ka boom boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere hanging out at the podcast Ojo the latest Pipe and Hot edition on a Christmas Eve. The Fifth Hour

with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio. Oh Mary Christmas? Did I do that right? Danny? Today? Oh man, it felt like Santa was in my living room right here. Yeah. I want to point out before we get going on the podcast, Danny, that it is the most frustrating thing to me. Now you know that I'm a man of my word. When I say I sucked garlic to get

over illness, I'm not lying, right. So this week I was a little on the weather, so I went to had somebody go to the store pick up some garlic and and during the show, I'm in studio here and I have this plate right and it's it's got a little pieces of garlic, which is which is my medicine. And I'll let you in on a little inside radio things. So the other night I was doing a read for tire rack dot com and my voice started wavering a little bit. Oh boy, so I went dev con one.

I immediately I went to the garlic and I started sucking that garlic like a jolly Roger, And within five minutes I got my voice back where I was able to function on the show again. So, well, the thing that's upsetting them me Danny's I I tell people, I run into people, I learntder the weather, I'm sick whatever. It's like, I got the perfect thing for you. And I explained to them the garden, the raw garlic, and they look at me like I'm speaking Klingon or something

like that, like what's wrong with you? You lose there. I am such a radio loser. It's just crazy. So anyway, I just want to complain about that. We have nerd Tastic Jump Around Dr Seuss, Market Research, Pop Goes the Culture Backscratcher. This is like a jam packed edition. It's amazing content here. Dude, We're like a real podcast. How much are we charging for this? I heard that somewhere. How much are we charging for this? We do? We know?

No brand new Patreon show right here. Yeah, that's right, that's the next step the Patreon. How many one block Pandora's box, please insert your credit card for five dollars and cents. How many of these podcasts can we do? Where we gave out one of those things and said you gotta donate money before we somebody found out we were doing it, Like somebody would rat us out immediately, blind Scott, he would, he would rat us out, that weasel.

All right, our our lead here on the fifth hour, It's a Life of Mallard, Life of Danny g So the postgame show of the holiday party heard round the radio world, titled The Mallardpalooza Ugly Sweater Party two was a rollicking good time. Was so great to have everyone I know. We had a Halloween party a while ago, which was not that long ago, but the The Ugly Sweater Party a huge success. It was great at absolute blast.

I don't know if anyone else had a good time, but talking old radio stories, a bunch of people that I've worked with years ago when I was like a kid, I was like nineteen years old. These are some of the people. That's how far back it goes. I'm out of old fart and uh and you know some of these guys are older dudes now, and I just love talking shop. It was for me. It was like chicken soup for the soul. Is that Looney Tunes guy would say?

But it was really awesome. It was slightly this orderly, rowdy, wicked, all of that, and I spent a lot of my time. I held court in the in the back there of the Mallard mansion, behind the main house. There, I was in the fire pit area and we were all telling telling old shaggy dog stories about radio, which I love. I love hearing the I'm a loser. I love these stories and the crazy stuff that's happened on the air

off the air, and there's some wild stuff. Most of it happened prior to like fifteen years ago, but it's it's nuts and I actually almost overdosed because it was a from a radio perspective, it was nerd tastic. And one story I would like to share with the class. I almost spit my beer out on this, Danny, and

I wonder, I wonder if you've heard this. It involves Now, is it true that Larry King, the late Larry King, icon of radio man, Larry King got taken to the cleaners by a phony phone call that caused his entire net work to go into pandemonium on his overnight show. If you heard this story before, I've never heard about this. It's like great. I never heard this one either. And when I heard this, I was dying. I was like, tell me again, tell me, I got the little kid,

you know, a little baby. I tell me again. So this actually involves another big name in radio, although he's pretty much retired at this point, Tom Likes, who had a very successful career as a talk shows there's a shock jock on FM radio and AM radio back in the day. And so the legend is as was told to me by somebody in the know, and I will not I will I will cover up for the guilty. Um. So he told told me the story. He said like it pulled the greatest phony phone call of all time.

Not it was not a Boba booy call or anything like that. This is a hum dinger, humdinger of a story that I would like to share with the class. So so let's sake in the hot Tip time machine. It's the early nineteen eighties, so it's a whole different world. And Larry King is the He is the king of of overnight radio that you know I do overnight. He was the king of overnight radio. And Tom Likeas, who was a budding radio man and had his own career, was not big name and radio at that time. Likeas

calls Larry King up. Now, Larry had his show on the Mutual Broadcasting Systems alright, so that was the network, and Likes had recorded the network tone that Mutual Broadcast Systems used, and Likes calls into Larry King, Hi, Larry uh, And they have a brief back and forth and Larry was kind of slow on the uptake even back then, and Tom Likes played he played the Mutual Broadcasting Systems tone on his call. So what happened next? I'll let you in on a little inside radio how this used

to work. He doesn't work this one anymore, so I can say it. So that tone sent hundreds of automated radio stage sans into an immediate commercial break in the middle the middle, in the middle of Larry King show, they go to commercial break. Larry was he was dumb struck. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what had happened. It took him a couple of minutes to realize what had happened. And uh, it was just the the idea that God that I don't know. But I'm

told there is a clip that is on YouTube. I tried to find it and I could not find it. Now the person that told me the story swears that there is a clip and as of a couple of years ago, it was on YouTube. So I typed in like us and Larry King, and I did not find anything that matched up to that. But if anyone, I'm talking to you as a listener, if you can find this, boy, you'd be my hero for the day. If you could send that to me. I want to watch this and so I just and I I saw you light up,

Danny when you heard that story. Right, this is anybody that's been doing what we do for a living. You hear that story and it's just the greatest thing you've ever heard. Just the the amount of chaos that in that little cartoon bubble in my head, I imagine Larry King and his producer and his engineer went through as they tried to tried to figure out how to get

the affiliates back. Oh, it's it's just so great. It's so good because when we were kids, there were a lot of radio wars, like you got a lot of mob pops, you had a lot of medium sized broadcasting groups. It wasn't these huge conglomerates like there are nowadays in any given city. You had all these little radio wars going on. And I had a general manager in particular who loved that kind of stuff, and so he was

always fucking with a competition. And I have stories for days that came out of that market when I was a kid. Some of the stories unbelievable, the great lengths that our staff went to just to screw the other stations. So when I hear a story like that, man, there's so much appreciation. Yeah it is. I mean, we're just a couple of old radio guys and so that I mean, so I don't know that anybody like newer in the business would appreciate it. It was a different time, but

I was involved in that. When I first got in back in the nineties, we had we still had those things going on and all that. So it was wild and crazy it's enough. When I heard that story, I wanted to jump around, Danny, I really well, I did. I wanted to. I was so happy. I was like, tell me again, tell me again. It was crazy. Can I do we have time for me to tell you one story that we did against the competition? Yeah? Absolutely, I would. I love I love old radio stories. Yeah.

So there were two big country stations in the market that I was in as a kid, and I was coming from hip hop music. I didn't know much about country music at the time, but in the same Troll Valley of California, there's two music genres that were really loved, hip hop and country, but the big stations were country. And at the time it was the big Garth Brooks

explosion and all of that. So you had a fifty thousand watch station, which I was working on, and it was like the more top forty aggressive version of the format. And then you had the older, standard hit country station that had been in the market for a long time and they were called K Mix. K Mix. Staff from there, including me, left to go to the more progressive station.

So now I'm on this new, more popping station. Me and the staff are having fun, and that's where that general manager was that I mentioned a little bit ago, any time we could stick it to K Mix. This guy loved it. I mean, this guy salivated over screw in the competition. So I'm in there on an overnight bend with a buddy of mine who also did overnights at the station, and the two of us together came up with a quick idea. There was a country artist coming to the fair grounds there and his name was

Ricky Van Shelton. We devised a plan where I was going to be the record company rep and he was Ricky Van Shelton. He called the overnight DJ. We called the overnight DJ at K Mix, and I researched. I found out the record label's name, and I made up like a business name. We called, and I told the guy, Hi, I'm so and so from Capitol Records or whatever it was. And I'm like, you know, we were supposed to have called earlier today so you could get liners from Mr

Ricky Van Shelton, but his schedule didn't cooperate. So if it's okay with you, I know it's late, but he'd like to read these liners for you. And this weekend DJ at K Mix fan was so excited. He's like, oh my god, yeah, yeah, I'll record the liners. You know. He's like, hang on, hang on, let me get everything ready, and he's like, Okay, go ahead, and I'm like hang on. So I hold hand the phone to my buddy and

he's like, Hey, this is Ricky Van Shelton. Now, Ben, in these K Mix liners were a cat country their K mix, So in the liners, he's like, this is Ricky Van Shelton. You're listening to K Mix country. The cats me out. So in every liner he did, he put some kind of cat reference in there because that was our station. This DJ was so dumb and so naive that he took these liners. I got back on the phone to make it all professional and thanked them

on one of the monitors in our building. We tuned into their station and we're just waiting, praying that he's gonna play one of these liners. Stir enough, Ben, we hear, Hey, this is Ricky Van Shelton and you're listening that's me out and he goes into he plays that into a Ricky Van Shelton song, and I swear to God, Ben, we were dying, laughing, rolling on the floor of our radio station. And when our general manager found out what we did, he called us both in his office and

he gave both of us two dollar raises. Oh there you go, a little raise out of it, and you know, hey, that doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're a weekend DJ at a radio station, that that was a big deal back then as a kid, and as we know working in radio, to get a raise out of anyone in radio is an act of God. God to get a raise for the rest of our time at that station. Uh, staff would walk around and say, hey, y'all, I'm Ricky Van Shelton. That's outstanding, dumb dumb. I imagine

how much trouble he got in. Oh yeah, Well, it's just you know, you could probably still get away with something like that today because nobody really knows what anyone sounds like outside of like the top two of people. Everyone you don't really know for sure, and you assume that no one's gonna punk you like that. So that's that's great. Oh man, it's uh. I could go on

with those stories. You had quite the weekend last weekend, My man, Dannygy, your first time you brought you popped your cherry at a Las Vegas Raiders game, and oh what a game it was. Yeah. Last season, I brought the tender Roni to her very first football game, but it was preseason. It was Rams Raiders, so we got to check out so far. The game obviously didn't count. Um overall, this was her very first NFL game that counted. Now.

I've seen so many Raider games because I was a season ticket holder in Oakland, but this was my first time seeing a Raiders game at their new home, the Big Roomba. Um beautiful, man. I mean, we took a tour last year of the stadium the last time we visited Vegas, so we knew that it was a beautiful place, but we didn't get to see a football game in there yet. So we get there bend. Um. I'll talk about the food a little later in this podcast. That was a whole experience. Um. The wife, he was not

feeling that good because she was battling morning sickness quickly. Yeah, that was something that we had to battle. But we finally get to our seats, and no matter where you sit in that stadium, even if you're up high, it's not too steep and you have a perfect view of the field, so you could see all the wide open receivers that Derek Carr is missing. It's wonderful, wonderful view

it more. And I guess what sums it up the best is there was this dude down the row from us, and in the third and the fourth quarter we could see him. He was drinking out of a water bottle. But it was not water in the bottle. It was clear it must have been vodka. We were guessing because this dude was trashed be he did the pregame thing and he showed up and he snuck something. Okay, I got you sure you know. There wasn't a lot of

Raiders scoring in the second half. Of course, the whole theme of the season for the Raiders has been jump out to a big double digit lead and then fall asleep after that and play keep away. And that looked like that was gonna happen in that game, right It really yeah, it really did. This guy is nodding off Ben in the third and the fourth quarter, like he literally has his mouth open catching flies and his eyes are closed, and we both took pictures of him and

we're like, now, this is hilarious. This guy right here. I spent a couple hundred bucks is take a nap. Even up high, Ben, those tickets were selling for three d bucks and we're talking mathematically alive, but only a five percent chance to make it to the playoffs. Can you imagine how much those secondary market tickets would be if they were in the playoffs. Well yeah, but that's a lot of Boston people, right, People go to Vegas. You want to see your team a gamble in Vegas.

So that's There were some Patriots fans in the road in front of us, and they were talking ship and they started to get vocal. After the Patriots took the lead. I turned and looked at my wife Roni, and I said, you know what, the Raiders just need to shut them up. We got a text from somebody who was watching at home and they were like, oh, the announcers mentioned that the Patriots fans are starting to get vocal there, and I looked at her and I said, well, we need

to shut them the hell up right now. And sure enough, Derek Carr got his shipped together finally in that last drive and led the team down the field, had that crucial fourth down conversion, then the throw into the end zone. It was a tie game. Suddenly that dude that was knocked out on alcohol, he woke up and he's jumping up and down, and we're like, yeah, we even got this guy with us now. It was like, I don't

know what you were thinking. I was thinking, the cars gonna screw this up on that drive and then then I gonna score a touchdown. The way it's gone so far this season, I did have a nervous fart in me that was waiting to come out. There was a raider fans to my left. He was making prayer hands. He literally was praying, please don't let this happen again. Please don't let us go out like suckers again. And I was like, oh, maybe God is on our side today.

You know, the Patriots have the ball there, they are moving a little bit down the field, but there wasn't enough time on the clock for them to you know, get into field goal range. So when there was three seconds left, I'm thinking they're gonna throw a hail Mary here or neil. Those are the only two options, right because it's a tie game. Yeah, yeah, well you think,

well you could throw you throw a hail Mary. I hope you get a penalty on the defense, and then you get a free play and then you can kick a field goal win the game. But what they did, she's that's like everyone. I love Belichick, and I praised Belichick a lot, but then they got to be the dumbest team in the in the NFL with that play, which originally would have been fine. They just run the ball, they got a bunch of yards. Fine, didn't work out,

you know, try your luck in overtime. But Jacobe Meyers had other ideas, Danny, he had other ideas there in Week fifteen. It's a cliche you hear people say, the roller coaster of emotions. It was such a roller coaster ride. It was so true in this case because when Stevenson broke those couple of first initial tackles and he got down the sideline, in my head, I'm thinking, oh shit, oh ship, because I've seen the Raiders blow a lot of leads this year and lose in dramatic fashion like

to your Rams. So I'm thinking he is gonna break away and run into the end zone for a game winning six points. And then suddenly though defender finally had a good angle on him, and that's what pitched the ball backwards. So I was like, thank God, now though I see that interception and it was like something out of a movie. I could not believe what I was seeing, Like, holy crap on a cracker, and I can't believe that

what's going on here? Oh my goodness, Ben um perfect view of what happened because it was in our end zone that he scored Chandler Jones. I didn't see the stiff farm at first because it happened so fast. All I saw was Mac Jones getting trucked and the buddy hop and in real time in person, it just looked like Mac Jones got destroyed. He looked like that on TV two he got when Chandler Jones was on his way to the end zone. I don't think I've jumped

this high since high school. He were jumping up and down like as if we were at a House of Pain concert and they were performing their hit song jump Around in Unison. Thousands and thousands of Raider fans jumping up and down like the world's largest moss fit. It was insanity. I've been to some dope games before. I was at the Raiders a f C Championship win. The last time they went to the Super Bowl that was allowed. Raucous game in Oakland, but the celebration did not compare

to this. They kept replaying Chandler Jones spectacular play, and every time they would replay it, the fans would jump up and down again as if it happened live again. Was having an orgasm. It's like an orgy raider or yes, it was a ten who was a ten minute touchdown?

Celebration taste like a touchdown in your mouth. Have never seen a finish like that in my life, and to have been there, I just I'm really really grateful that I was there to see it with my girl, so see the smile on her face and to know that that's gonna be her for first experience at an NFL game that counted. It was pretty magical. Man. The whole

city was floating. The whole city was on cloud nine. Afterwards, we were going from casino to casino because we had to walk back to our hotel, and the entire city Bend was full of smiles and laughter and share And I told her, I said, you realize, right, we were just a couple of minutes away from this being the exact opposite of this. Well, you would have had mobs of Bostonian's mass holes. That would have been losers and all.

There would have been fights. There would have been Raider fans turning to the bottle too, you know, soak their blues away. It would have been a bad bad scene there had the Raiders blown that. But instead it was like a huge Vegas party. It felt like New Year's Eve. Well, first of all, I'm happy for you. I lost, I had the Patriots, so I was on the rong side of that. But I'm happy for you and you got to experience it, and no game will ever come close

to that, and so I hope you enjoyed it. And uh and someday when the little mumpskin, the little seed pops out of the uh, the oven, there you can say your first nfl ok. You don't remember because you were just a bunch of God only knows what that is at this point, but the cells or whatever right now, Yeah, peanut, but that's that's pretty cool. So I'm happy for you. And we will have the food review. Yeah. Yeah, you gave me a homework assignment and you apparently you apparently

have crossed over on that homework assignment. So I wanted to mention this now and this Actually we're both kind of tied into this one. And I gotta give Dr Seuss credit. And he was right. When I was a little boy, Danny and I my mom used to read me Dr. Seuss books when I was a kid, and he mentioned there's a great line. There's one line in particular that I still remember more than any other Doctor Seuss line, and it was, Oh, the places you go

and the people you'll see. And as I've gotten older of taking that to heart and some of the people that I've crossed in my life that have passed on, or some of the people that have gone on and done some crazy things, and it's so true. Uh. And it happened again this past week. At some point, I feel like Forrest Gump, you know, like Forrest Gump was at every like big big thing there, but just kind of in the background, you know. Uh Gary Jones, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

exactly exactly. So when when I started out in radio in l A read I've told the story before, but my contemporaries, the people that wereround around my age giver take that we're doing radio. We had k Rock, had Jimmy Kimmel, who was doing the morning sports on Kevin and Bean, and they had Adam Caroll who was part of that show. But they were just like sidekicks on the morning show. Uh. The afternoon DJ had Star FM, that's what it was called. Seven was Ryan Seacrest. Those

guys have all done okay for themselves. I think they're they're okay. Uh. And when I was a reporter before I got into that, and I was a talk show ast, I was a reporter and I used to cover games all the time. And Fox Sports Net the regional cable channel Prime Ticket, they had a reporter named Laurence Sanchez who I knew a little bit and I was around her quite a bit when she was covering the games.

And she she's now stooping the Amazon guy, Jeff Bezos, who at one point the richest man in the world. And she used to be married to a certain tight end in the NFL. That's right, That's right, um, Tony gazaz So, and she was with some other I think she's she's in, you know, she just enjoyed her life

as a young lady. She's she spread her wings or whatever. Anyway. So, um, so this this week, we we both learned Danny not just me, but you as well are Former Fox Sports radio colleague Jay Moore engaged to marry Genie Boss the Lakers, the owner of the Lakers. They met when Jay was still doing his show on our net work. I know what in the world, What in the world? How wild is that? And so Dr SEUs was right, all the

places you go, the people we will see. And I said this to Coop and Roberto on the Overnight show this week, and I'll say it to you right now. Do you wish you had been a little nicer to Jay Moore? You could be like the assistant coach for the Lakers right now, Danny like like Jason made Man now our guy. Jay's like he's he's sleeping with the owner. Man, he can get you in there, you know, man, Well,

I was nice to him. Um, I'm celebrating my ninth anniversary at the network and my first shift where I trained and he had me trained on the More show for a week. There you go. No, I have nothing bad to say about Jay. I didn't really run into him very much. I filled in for him. He actually called in sick at the last minute. I got to do a show with Ron art Test a K Metal

World peace, and I think Kirk Morrison. There were a couple of guys, but I remember Metal World Piece and he gave me like his phone number, so I have I have Ronard test phone number. Not that I really called him or whatever. I don't really need about it, but but it was good and I'm happy for him. Now, Danny, you watch what Jaina's crew does. You can look a lot. That's the z Dog z Dog for sure, all right,

So I just wanted to mention that in passing. But just another name to add the list here some crazy and wild things. And the market research is in. The market research is in the Danny g Let's go to the market research. What do you say? Yeah, last weekend you gave me a homework assignment for the new Vegas Allegiant Stadium UM and you wanted to know the average price of alcoholic beverages there, what kind of food options

were there? Let me grade it against so Far, which probably isn't fair to so Far because they need to get their ship together there. When it comes to food, so Far is beautiful, especially on the outside and the whole Jurassic Park feel. I was blown away when I visited so Far. The thing that didn't impress me was the sorry excuse for a slice of pizza I ate there, the sorry excuse for nachos that I ordered at so far it was like two dollars and it was garbage, horrible,

horrible food selections there. I don't know if it's improved since then, because that was at the start of two seasons ago. But you know, I didn't know what to expect walking into Vegas Stadium. Now. My girl, as I mentioned, she was battling what felt like morning sickness, even though we were now in the middle of the day. We got off our flight. She's not feeling well, but what she has found out is she has some toast, some

water in her stomach will calm down. So we're both hungry because we got right off the flight, went checked in, put our bags in our room, got another uber, got right to the state him as quick as we could, huge line of cars getting in there. We got into the stadium right in time, and in fact, when we were trying to walk to our seats, Derek Carr is up on the screen leading the Raiders in their first drive to a field goal. But she wasn't feeling well, and I was like, look, we don't need to walk

super fast. Uh your pray go. That's the priority. Let's pace ourselves. And while we're doing that, I'm gonna do market research. Anyways, Ben wants some pictures. Yeah, a bunch of pictures here, Dinny. He went above and beyond the call of duty. Yeah. Now, the food options in there were amazing. This worked out really good during that field goal drive because the first thing we found was Abuela's, which was a taco cart inside the stadium with these

two Mexican ladies chopping up chicken and Carnie Asana. They were making street tacos right there inside the stadium. It was pretty good. I eat that. Yeah. My wife was like, Okay, we gotta get a couple of these tacos. So that's how we started. We're watching the big monitors. We find somewhere to stand. We could hear the crowd. We could kind of see through one of the sections through the aisle to where the field is at the crowd roars. Then we see what happens on the monitor and we're

stuffing a chicken taco in our mouth. Something your best life and how how much were the chicken tacos going for? Let's see. So the chicken for two chicken tacos. It was fourteen dollars al right, so that's like, what's that that Mexican restaurant the valley here right near work where all these celebrities go. Oh, Cosa Vega, Cosa Vega. That's about the same as Cossa Vega. Pretty much, not bad for a stadium. And it was really good, really really good.

She ate one of the chicken tacos. She's like, all right, I'm feeling better already. We get her a coke because you know, there's magical medicine inside Coca Cola. It settles your tummy. We continue to walk and now I'm taking pictures. I see brisket burritos. Oh yeah, it's stopped there, Danny, because that's a good looking you know, I'm not a big burrito guy, but that brisket burrito. And maybe it's because I've been fasting, but that smoked brisket burrito, that

is a winner. That put on the board. We saw a Raider fan with that on his plate, one of those carrier trays, and we wanted it. We had just eaten the tacos, though, so we're like, let's keep walking. The smoked biscuit burrito before we move on smoked brisket, Chipotle, Aoli cilantro coleslaw. I don't need that red rice. Mexican cheese is. How's the spicy barbecue sauce and a side of chips? So solid? Yeah, really good looking. Uh, it smelled terrific. But we kept walking. We're like, let's see

what's further down. We had a little bit of a walk to go to our section. Uh. Then we came to a grill and they were grilling up. They were also grilling up chicken, but they also had rice. It almost looked like kind of like a little Mongolian set up, and the smell it was like, you know, bugs bunny being lifted off his feet. And my girl was like, I want that, and I was like all right, So I got in line and I got us to chicken

and rice bulls. The flavor. I don't know what they marinated that chicken in, but holy ship, those bulls were good. But now we're walking, stuffing our faces as we walk with these bulls. And I took a couple more pictures. There was a guy at a carving station. Oh yeah, I see the guy the guy's mad dogging. He's got the the knife there he's holding posed for the picture. He's like pose. I was like, kick your ass is what he's saying. He's got that look. I gotta kick

your ass. He's holding he's holding his big carving knife and he's doing the prison pose with his arms folded. Uh. Great picture to post it on Twitter after this podcast goes up. But he he was carving turkey ham and he was making sandwiches. Awesome, awesome options there. We were really surprised. Then we came to a chicken tender stand. Would have been all about that. They looked really good. Then we came to one last spot where we bought something.

After we passed a pizza place. They had vegan pizza, which Alex tishert would have loved. Uh. They also had you know, all the different kind of Sicilian h to Chicago style pizza there. And then our last stop, we got some pretzel bites. All those like pretty good. I was just looking at those in this picture. You said, really good. Uh, spicy, a spicy mustard dip, and then a great hot cheese dip and it was like that fancy cheese nuts. We were excited. Man. We got to

our seats and we were happy until dinner. Man, very satisfied. I think the most expensive thing was those chicken bulls. I did leave like a two dollar tip, but I noticed on my credit card for two of those chicken bulls it was thirty nine dollars. WHOA, So that was so thirty seven dollars I guess before the tip. Yeah, I'm looking at the the cocktails here, Deluxe cocktail doubles

twenty eight dollars, Premium cocktail double twenty five dollars. You can get domestic canned beer at the Radar game fourteen bucks, Premium can beer sixteen h the the bottled water for six dollars. That's uh, that's robbery, that's what that is. Alright, So we've got enough, Backscratcher. Let's do that real quickly and we'll have pop goes to the culture. So backscratcher. Did we get any reviews, Danny this week? Every week we put the call out to the mallar militia, we

say we need your help here. Management loves checking out the app podcast page for reviews, and they're all smiles when we get some, and it makes them happy and all that, and so we blatantly beg you to put a review out there. And so this week, Danny, how many reviews did we get? Zero, one or two we got? I'm gonna guess that we got one. Well, Danny, you'll be happy to know we got to this week a to hit her first one. The headline Western Wisconsin the

five Stars. I finally figured out how to center review. I think as long as it goes through. I love your podcast. They are honest and fun. The drops are great as well. I look forward to them each weekend and hearing you eight days and wee congratulations to Danny g and his den. The RONI wife that's from Angelina in western Wisconsin, and she's told me, Danny that when we do the Mallard Meat and greet in Minnesota in three, hopefully in April of three, if everything goes right, she

will be there. She's just lives across the Wisconsin Minnesota divide and she'll cross over. So thank you, Thank yes, right, thank you, Angelina. I got your special sauce road in five Stars. That's quite the name. Bigfoot Larry D says, I've listened to The Mallard Show since it was on weekend late night's sports talk. Very kind hereious is the best of his craft, keeps people listening and laughing. I hear a lot of other radio talk people steal his talking points. And Danny g is an awesome guy on

the on the show as well. He and Ben elevate each other's talents. Keep up the great job, guys. That is from Larry D. Thank you Larry D, God bless you. Happy holidays. Thank you for listening on this holiday weekend. And also Angelina and everyone else you want to review it. Very simple podcast, bitch, do you put it on there? Danny? And I'm not that bright. I can figure it out. You can figure it out, and it really does help us out, and that's a great gift you can give us.

Doesn't cost any money, all right, doesn't cost any money, Chris literally would take two minutes of your time. Alright, we have time for a few pop goes the culture and that means our guy, Ohio, aw all right, thank you Ohio. Aw So this comes out of Stanford. This is these are pop culture stories that caught my attention that we didn't talk about on the radio. So from Stanford, where they spent the past eighteen months, Danny putting together a list of bad words the bad Word Initiative. Yes,

they are the Elimination of Harmful Language initiative. Hey, multi phase, multi year project to address harmful language at Stanford. What a bunch of assholes, I know, right, Oh my god, really this is what we're doing now, you schmucks. You you. I can't say what I would like to say you. It's a past you fucking pieces of ship you there you go? All right, no, anyway, so I have there gonna believe that one? All right? Anyway, Well that's the ultimate bad word right there. So I have somebody sent

me this, Danny. This is from the Stanford one of their websites. Here it lists all of the words that they have decided they need to cancel, the phrases among them. Danny, you are no longer supposed to say addicted. You're supposed to say hooked or devoted, stupid. You can't say basket case. You have to stay nervous. No more blind study at Stanford. It's a man. This is like the injured list. I know, it's so ridiculous. Instead of blind study, they want you

to say mass study. You can no longer use the word crazy. You have to use the word surprising or wild. Hang on, let me sit Indian style while I listen to this. Crazy and insane have both been canceled. Lame is no longer allowed. You have to say boring or uncool. You can no longer say mentally ill. You have to say a person living with a mental health condition. Okay, yeah, retard is out. That's gone. A person with a cognitant. What if the party is jumping, though, can you say,

oh my god, it's retarded in't here? I don't think so not. According to Stanford, you can't say. You can no longer use the phrase gray beard. That falls under the ageism category. So you it's what if you have a gray beard? You're a gray beard. You instead are supposed to say the person's name. You can use the term senile anymore, Danny. You have to say the person is suffering from senility, stupid. I know it is so ridiculous. These are these are the top people in academia. You

can no longer use berry the hatchet. You have to say call for peace or call a truce. Uh, geronimo. That word has been canceled. Cannot use it. You can only use it when discussing the historical figure Geronimo Wellman on the totem pole, also canceled by You're supposed to say lack of seniority or don't does not have power or prestige or oh my god. Uh instead of balls to the wall, you're supposed to say accelerate efforts. Accelerate efforts is what you're supposed to say. Uh, this is

you can't say pow wow anymore. I use that term from time to time. You have to say I get together or meeting mm hmm, I can keep going. Spirit animals been canceled by Stanford. What's wrong with spirit animal? It's a good question, It says. The term refers to an animal spirit that guides protects one to a journey, So to equate it with an animal one likes it to demean the significance of the term. Oh so please say nondenominational animal, and I'm supposed to say favorite animal,

animal I most admire, or what holy ship? What are we doing here? My god? I can go on and on. This is like something you would see being printed by the Onion. Oh totally, totally. You can no longer say preferred pronouns you're just supposed to say pronouns. The word preferred. According to Stanford, suggests that non binary gender identity is a choice and a preference. So isn't it though, Well, I'm I'm I'm the arrows leaning towards yes on that one, Daddy.

That's where I sit here. I mean, I don't think it's controversial to say that now, courtis Stanford is, you're no longer supposed to say fireman or fireman. You're supposed to say firefighter. You can't say congressman or congresswoman. It's congress person or legislator. My my favorite though, is they've now canceled the term gentleman, guys and ladies. Instead of that, you're supposed to say everyone. So they've gotten rid of the male genitalia the female genitalia, and now it's just everyone.

I can't say maleman anymore. Can't say landlady anymore or landlord. I can't say property order or male person, postal carrier. Policeman has also been canceled. Police woman has been canceled. So, I mean, I can go on on. This thing goes on for pages, Danny, this is, uh, how many pages are we looking at? Here. This is thirteen pages of words. How many months did they waste on this? Eighteen months they spent on this, eighteen months dating. What a bunch

of lame losers there? I used lame for them. You can no longer say rule of thumb. I use that a lot. You have to use standard rule or general rule. And it says, although no written record exists today, that this phrase is attributed to an old British law that allowed men to beat their wives with sticks no wider than their thumb. An experiment, man, I want you to do one entire monologue where you go by all of

their rules. Oh you know, I'm gonna do that. And my goal is to mix as many of these fucking words into my my language, my lexicon as I can. You can't say war room anymore. You're supposed to say situation room. It's unnecessary use of violent language if you use war room. Oh god, I can't say killing two birds with one stone. It says the expression this is great normalizes violence against animals. I know. Whenever my mom used to say that, I'd go right outside with a

bad gun and shoot a couple of birds. You can't say cracked the whip. Danny, you're supposed to say, double down, work harder, unnecessary use of violent imagery, imagery, according to Stanford, that paints the person being referred to as an authoritarian or a presser oppressive rather so jeez, I mean, I want to move on from this, but it's so it's so crazy, and this kind of poison is now spreading to the United States Marine Corps. Danny, what's going on

with our United States Marines? They are urged the U S. Marines urged to stop calling instructors sir and ma'am. They're supposed to be more gender inclusive. Wow. How long is this nonsense going to continue? Right? At some point won't the adults say, hey, let's not that the crazy people. Yeah, I use the word crazy. Determine what's going on with our language here. You can no longer, I'm going back to Stanford thing, you can no longer call a spade a spade. What's up with that? Let's see what it

says on this one. It says, although the term has its origins in Greek literature, the negative connotations with the words spade means that the phrase should be used with caution or not at all. Oh, this is this is too good? Alright? What else do we have on popcos the culture? You see that story out of Wisconsin. Multiple witnesses in different locations captured video they did not know each other of UFOs in rural Wisconsin. Night Sky and I saw some of the clips on this and what's

it look like? I mean, it looks like every other UFO videos. I mean, it's so they're all kind of the same. But I I don't know what it was. It didn't look like anything that was man made. But they always they don't, uh, there's there's ship out there. I know. Why don't we ever see anything that's in a different shape, you know, like, oh my god, that one looks like a cruise ship. That would be speaking a cruise ships. The Titanic. Did you see the story as an old story? I had not heard about this.

They were telling streaking news from Marcel's Twitter account and that was actually the film Titanic. Have you heard this story? I had not heard this one, but I'm not up on this stuff. Maybe you heard it. So the legend is that the Titanic film crew they had a chowder on on the set while they were filming the movie and somebody thought it would be funny Danny to lace the chowder with PCP. So this is on the icon James Cameron's Titanic. Twenty five years after they were telling

these stories, there was a story written recently. Some some seafood chowder your chowder head, and somebody put angel dust in the chowder, and the entire crew was, as you could imagine when you have PCP laden seafood. Uh. They were a little a little out there for for that that day, and they said the problem was that the seafood, the chowder tasted so good that some members of the Titanic crew, we're eating multiple bowls of the seafood. You know, if it wasn't seafood, I was gonna say, since it

was free, you would have been in line for seconds. Yeah, if it was not seafood, I would have I would have been lined up on that, Yeah, because it was free. If it's free, it's for me. And one more, a viral TikTok video has discovered and odd m M is it quirk? Is it true? Is it true that a very popular Christmas song actually has a beat that was taken or borrowed for the very famous NFL on Fox theme song say why Uh? Yeah, some random woman I don't know who this is. She's on the TikTok and

she made a video. I'm trying to get a story up here so I can give you the exact name and uh and she said, where in the world have I heard this before? And so she she played it on the video and it was it was pretty pretty interesting. So let's get to the point here. So she pointed out that the similarities between the song slay Ride and the theme song of the NFL on Fox, and she played it and I don't know you want me to

play this, Danny. I don't know if this will show up or now, and I can play it if you want. That's interesting. I never would have thought about that. Now. I'm not a music guy. I don't have the music, geet, Danny. But aren't there are there? There's only a finite amount of lyrics that you can come up with the music, right, am I correct on that? Or their endless amounts of

you know what I mean? Like the beats. There's only so many beats you can come up with a right well, as far as baselines, there's hundreds that you can come up with. Yeah, but a lot of them are repurposed. Sure, a lot of them are taken, uh and tweaked a little bit. Yeah yeah, anyway, all right, we'll get out on that. Anything to promote here, Danny, it's Christmas Eve. You're not are you working today? You're not working today?

Are you? I am off on Saturday. We'll have a great time, get out on that and I will will have another mailbag on Christmas Day. Hell yeah, Well, all the other FSR employees are sleeping and drinking with their families and doing drugs and and skiing and on ski trips and in there in Big Bear and cow herds at his Aspen home doing who knows what. We're gonna be working. Yeah, we will be slaving away in front of these hot micro rols. Have a great day, and again,

Merry Christmas, Happy Honuka. If you don't celebrate anything, just to have a really good day, and we'll catch you next time seeing it. Asta pasta gott a murder, Gotta go.

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