Kabbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
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The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the a emyway. You have stumbled onto The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallor and Danny G. We are fired up to have you locked in on this podcast. Danny, a brand spanking new weekend right here in the middle of the month of September, week number two of the NFL season.
Yeah, and you called it right. You've had the Raiders over the dirty Broncos, over the dirty Donkeys, I'll call them after those two late hits, and man, what a nice way to start the season with Jimmy G.
And I started Week two last night. I know you don't care about the Minnesota Vikings, but a back door push, a back door push. The Vikings scored a touchdown with a less than two minutes. I believe you go on the clock and they ended up pushing the point spread in that game last night with the Philadelphia Eagles in Thursday Night Football. On this podcast, we've got the Malor report Card of record, Gummy Bonus Benny, and maybe Scientifical Danny.
We might get to all of that content, or conceivably none.
Of it or half of it. That's the way it usually rolls.
Hey, Exactly. I always have these big plans, and then I realized, well, no, we don't have a way of getting to everything, but we're gonna start with this. So we are headed into week number two of Benny Versus the Penny. We made our maiden voyage last week. Hopefully you had a chance to watch it. Big thanks to you if you did watch the show. And these are uncharted waters for me, and some of you have been sending questions. We have the mailbag on Sundays, so we'll
go over some of some of those questions. But people have been asking interesting things about how this all all works. And as you might know, if you've been with me a long time, you know, years ago I went back to Connecticut every week we were We're not every every week, every every month, I did a week in Connecticut for about a year and I was on the NBC Sports Network,
which no longer exists, that one out of business. I was a contributor to the sports talk show that they had, which kind of makes some sense, but I was just a bit player, and we had people on that show that have that that had decorated careers. Adrian Wojanowski was the basketball insider on that show. We had the late Darryl Hamilton who played with the Milwaukee Brewers. Jeremy Ronick was on there quite a bit, and some other random
hockey people. But this experience Benny versus the Penny, which is just getting going right now in week number two, which begins tonight on certain cable chances. So this has been completely foreign to me and all the fluff that comes with this kind of thing. Dan, It's a whole new world. I'm used to do an overnight radio where no one even knows I'm there. There is very little promotion, there is no budget those kind of things.
By here, like fifteen Ben mallor promos every afternoon when I'm in the studio area.
But just in general, I don't think you're gonna see the side of a bus or billboard or anything like that. So it's a whole different operation which has kind of kind of been been crazy and stuff and got to get used to a lot of the things that are involved. There's only once a week, so it's not like it's an everyday situation. But it's always about the quality of the product, don't we always say that, Danny's the quality of the product. You gotta have a good product.
Can I give you my first two takeaways from watching?
Yeah? Sure.
First, I love how you're on the Lakers channel.
I know I saw that. Yeah, yeah, that is.
Some sweet karma right there.
Well, not only that, Danny, they have no other programming apparently, because that show, The Benny Versus the Penny was on in La like every three hours they were playing. The show was insane.
The Lakers off season show handed off to you, so they love you. Here you are slandering the Lakers sweet organization all these years, and they're the up right now.
Listen, Danny, as you know, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna bow down and genuflect. They made a wise programming decision, Danny. I will give the Lakers credit. I'm sure they had nothing to do with this, but they made a wise
programming decision to put the show on. Now, the real test is going to be once the basketball season gets going, which I think is like in a couple of weeks, they're gonna have basketball and uh and then see people will actually be watching that channel once that happens, and so then the audience will will be massive, Danny, It'll be a huge, huge audience. But but no, we have the whole point the quality of the product, right, as long as the product's good, that's all you can do.
You want it to stay on store shelves and you don't want it to go stale and all that. But we got Danny the first Malor report card on.
Bab Okay, before you get to that, only I'm one other little takeaway. Okay, all right, my god, Looney couldn't can top wait to speak, Looney chomping at the bit. He interrupted you before you could even introduce him. And then I wasn't a fan of your introduction because you said the penny has never had a voice before, which made me feel like the two seasons I did on the podcast here never existed.
Well, I think you misheard that. I don't know if I said exactly that. I'd have to go back and watch Sep and all that. The Voice of the Penny. Uh, you know it was a diva with you and is even more of a diva now with with Looney.
Did they include that on your report card?
Well, you know, we can't get into the nitty gritty. I'm giving you just a kind of a general sense here. So I had no idea to expect. My nightmare, Danny, was that no one watched. We only lasted one week, and that would be boy, that would be a nightmare. The good news we have made it to week two. And so I only have the numbers from the Boston market because that's the home station of Benny Versus the Penny, and that's where all the people I deal with kind
of regularly mostly are in in Boston. There's one gentleman in Philadelphia and some other people in New York, but the people I mainly deal with are in Boston. So in the Commonwealth, and since that's where the show's produced, they have the numbers. They have all that because it comes out of NBC Sports Boston. And were the ratings up or down or all around on a week one of Benny Versus Anyway, The mal report card indicates that they were up, up, and away, Danny, So we did
pretty well there. We got a really good number. The show debuted during a Red Sox game in Boston against the Red Sox game that was on Nessen And thanks to Alf the Alien, Opiner and Moving Man, Matt and all the other guys in Boston, they're fans of the show, the radio show, and they found a way to watch the TV show. We did pretty well with the first run. But more importantly, Danny, I am told that we even had a bigger audience when they rebroadcast Benny Versus The
Penny a few hours later. We even had more people listening, which bodes well, which is a good sign. I doesn't mean anything. I mean the long term, who cares. But it's good because that could be word of mouth, advertising, curiosity. The big test is going to be every single week adding more eyeballs and all that stuff. But yeah, it's
it's uncontrollable, Danny. On this end, it's not you can just do this and then if people like it, that's great, But you can't really do anything else other than that. You can't really worry about well, I guess you could worry.
I feel like I'm in an alternate universe. The Lakers present Ben Maller, who's number one in Boston.
Well, I know we were number one, but we did. They were happy and uh so yeah, just keep the keep the good vibrations rolling right, keep the good vibrations. The You got to have a little bit of moxie, gumption, perseverance, uh, that kind of stuff. I think so, and I look forward to seeing. I want to see how the show does. And see we are in Chicago. I know at least we had. My cousin in Chicago is watching, so I know we had that. And I have heard from a
couple of people in Philadelphia that we're watching. So so that's good. So we'll see what comes to this now. Uh, imagine my surprise, Danny, when a couple of weeks ago I got an email from NBC. I think it was actually last week. So I click it open, and this is from an account that I had not really dealt with, and it said, now that you have been hired, now that you have been put on the payroll over there, that you have to take care of some things. Now. As you know, Danny, I do not check the work
email at iHeart, which is my main home. I don't really check the work email at all Disneyland for years. I know, I know, I do want to thank you. I'm sure it'll come up at some point. But you did reach out to me about an event and I was unable to attend. But I do appreciate that you did reach out about said events. So sorry, I open this email.
Now.
The reason I get these emails is because they're the email that they have on file is my main personal email address, so they just send everything there. I told him this says, that's it, that's my email. I'm not you know whatever, and they were like, I don't, we don't care, you know, send the stuff to you your email. So this is the gummy situation, the famous doublemint gum, double your pleasure, double your fun. So I got the email that I had to do workplace training.
Boo, yeah, like the sexual harassment videos and all that.
Yes, yes, yes exactly, except unlike our training which is now mostly just all online, just have to watch the videos online, this was in person, so I had to go down to Universal Studios.
They like, take your hand and show you what body part not to mail.
They give you a doll and say, where did they hurt you? No? But but no, there was like training like with like a person big shot. I don't know big shot, just somebody that does a class. And so they had certain times and I picked the latest one I could go to. The problem was from where I live in the north Woods, there was no good time to get to the universal lot. So it took a fair amount. I mean, it essentially took three hours to
do a one hour class. So that really sucked. And I am now because of my iHeart training and now this other stuff that I've done this week, I consider myself a Rhodes Scholar when it comes to human resources training at major media corporation. So I am two for two. My big takeaway, though, here's the big takeaway on this is that all you really need to know and I thought this before, but I've gotten confirmation. All you really
need to know you learned in kindergarten. Like I'm looking at this like the class that I took, and I'm like, and these are all like cubicle people. These are not people like us, Danny, that work in the in the broadcast world. These are these are people that have, like you know, regular nine to five gigs. This happened to work over there, and so I'm surrounded by these people and the class is going on and all that. But
it's really just like stuff you learned in kindergarten. The world would be much better if people as adults just followed the basic rules that we learned as kids when you started kindergarten, Like keep your hands to yourself. I think that's mainly what that training was about, right, Danny. Just keep your hands to yourself.
Yep.
You should probably share some stuff, but not your fans.
Keep your fingers out of your nose.
Yeah. Yeah, clean up after yourself, don't take stuff that's not yours. Wash your hands right as you said, flush the toilet was a big one. And and what's when you're a kid to balance things you have to have. You have to balance schoolwork, play and I guess learning. I don't know. I guess that would be the work when you're a kid, So something along those lines. But yeah, So that was the the big training. And then skid daddle off to Chavez Ravine. But I got there a
little late, so I didn't get my good seat. I usually I get there early. I get a really good seat. I am such a radio loser. And I didn't get there early, so I did not have a glorious seat, which is, you know whatever, it's fine, crap happens, right.
What are you going to do?
And then continuing on with this line of thinking, I did have one other note, this being the Friday edition of The Fifth Hour, I will be making a bonus appearance, Danny, in a pathetic attempt to try to get more people to watch this Benny versus the Penny TV show. I am scheduled later today. I'll should be on tonight in Boston. I think this show airs at six o'clock in the Boston market. If you have direct TV you can watch that as well. And I'm scheduled to go on a
show called The Weekly Spread. Now I don't know much about the show. It's got Tom Giles hosts the show, and it's a gambling show. So it's kind of like the show that I do.
Boy, when you said the title of the show, I thought it was something else.
Well, it depends what websites you're looking at, Danny. Yeah, but no, So I'm gonna go on there and it's gonna be really quick. It's like a five minute pop and I'll go on there and I'll just try to mention Benny versus the penny as many times as I can possibly mention. That's the goal, Just try over and over.
I'll try to like every sentence. Instead Danny of mentioning like just stopping with the period, I will just go into okay, and I'll have more on that on Benny versus the penny, like that kind of thing, like just over the top.
Yeah, yeah, Like Ben, what do you expect in week two for the NFL? And you'll say, well, it's funny you asked because on Benny versus the penny.
Exactly that's the plan. So we'll see how that goes. But I'm looking forward to that and any promotion. You know, Dan, I am willing to do anything. I will sit on a billboard whatever you want. I'll go in a hot air balloon, all of that stuff for quality promotion. Last week I bought a dog and I needed an emotion. It's all about the quality of the promotion.
Will'd be like rod Tidwell, will you ride a camel in a TV commercial?
If you say show me the body? If I say that, and then you show me the money, and I want a camel. Dare you, What a time to be alive, Danny, What a time to be alive? A wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, glorious. Now, speaking of glorious, it's all about the science, Dand it's not the sweet science, the actual science. So we have to get cy and difficult. What do you say, si?
Science?
All right, So these are some random science stories that I have uncovered, and we have uncovered from scouring the dark web.
Oh, please tell me we're going to talk about the alien mummies.
Uh? Oh, you want to go to Mexico. We can start with that if you want. Yeah, we go, We go to Mexico. And yeah, yeah, we've talked a lot. There's so many stories every week about extraterrestrials and what's going on, and so the story if you didn't hear about it, by chance, maybe you didn't catch up with it. This week, coming out of Mexico, a mysterious corpse went on display and scientists were trying to figure out what was going on, whether or not these are extraterrestrials there supposedly.
I read the story. It said, non human alien corpses dating back one thousand years found in Peru have big eyes. Yeah, okay, so I'm looking at the photo here. They've got very they look like they're fun size, they got very small bodies.
On our podcast, we have said that pretty much the movie Men in Black is real, and these little guys remind me of the alien that was inside the head of that person that opened up.
Remember, yes, I do. Yeah, that's not that's not bad. So these things have a supply. I mean based on the picture. They have three fingered hands, they have this weird skull. You know what they look like to me, I'm gonna get some Reese's pieces, Danny g and I'm gonna I'm gonna get my bicycle and put a little basket in the front and get a get a towel or a plank gate, and I'm gonna I'm gonna go hang out with e T is what I'm I'm gonna. Obviously they're not as.
What's that there were little e T wind up toys?
Yeah, was at its height exactly.
You're right. They kind of look like that. Yeah.
And so they're they're claiming the story says these mummified specimens.
Uh.
They they went into detail. They said they had in their in their stomach. How how can they, Danny, how can they tell it's been supposedly a thousand years give this is even real?
You know?
Who knows? But they claim that they in their stomachs, they they found the remains of rare metals and eggs in their internal cavities. What, yeah, it doesn't it doesn't It look like it's made out of clay too kind of you.
Know, I guess because they're mummified.
Oh is that that would be why? I guess?
Yeah?
And it does to me. The face looks like et what if e T was also a real move based on a real story, and the creature that they used was actually just a copy of a real alien. Now that would be cool.
Could be? Remember the famous story of Drew Barrymore because she was what a kindergartener at the time, and when she was filming that movie, she thought that the little alien was real?
Wow? How old was she? She was a little kid right when that was going on.
She was like, I think she was four or five?
Oh yeah, okay, if you're four or five, yeah, I got you. They said these were found they were in the city city in Peru in twenty seventeen, so they had X rays and found the eggs in the in the stomach and I so I assume this came up on Cavino and Rich. Yes, you guys probably talked about this this week, a.
Little bit of alien talks.
Yeah, it's always good to go with the alien talk there and so like what is like, I didn't see the rest of the story. Like, so they showed the bodies, the photo went around. They had some experts talk like, is that it the story ends right there? That's all.
Wait, by the way, I just looked it up. Yeah, Drew Barrymore was seven. Now that's too old.
Oh yeah, you're seven. You're you're not.
Summary I thought I remember thinking she was younger than that. Seven And you think that little plastic guy that you're doing the scene with is real? Get out of here.
Come on, unless you unless you lived in a shoe box or something like that, you know, down by the.
River seven years old. You and I were already placing bets.
We were all over it at age seven, man, we were running around the neighborhood, the whole thing going on. So now dam uh, you know, talking about the alien stuff. Do you think we could pull off a scam if we went to some far away country and we dressed up like scientists and we put some papers together that looked like they were from academia that world. And we had some like prop people, some Hollywood prop people, because they're not making movies right now because everyone's on strike.
We hired them and they made something kind of similar to what they had in Mexico, but we'll crank it up a couple of notches, was some color detail, and like the whole bit would be that these aliens, they're from somewhere far far away in the cosmos. We don't know where, but they don't the bodies when they die, don't you know how the human body kind of falls apart and you know you're rot, but they don't rot, So the materials are all the same from even though
they're not living. And then we can have like a really cool looking alien thing. But if we sell it, I think, I mean that could work, right, We could pull that off.
Yeah, I mean, with all this alien news we've seen the past couple of years, especially, nobody would bat an eye. Everybody acts like this is all just normal news. Now.
Yeah, everyone's just worried about the next story, so they don't pay attention. But I did see NASA had that news conference yesterday on Thursday, and they are like, well, we have no proof of anything, but we might not be alone. Yeah.
Yeah, I saw that they think there's life on some it's like in between some star K two.
Yeah, and NASA says it cannot rule out that alien technology also is operating in the Earth's atmosphere. So they said they talked out of both sides of their mouth. Dan, from what I read, they on one side, they're like,
you have no evidence, no direct evidence. But to me, the math on this is rather as we talked about this on the fifth hour, Danny like, did you you know sometimes late at night, if you go outside the city lights and you go out into the desert or where we live in California, you go out away from the big cities and you look up to the sky. I mean, it's just it's impossible to think that there's nothing else out there.
Here's the headline. Web telescope detect possible signs of life on distance planet, located about one hundred and twenty light years from Earth in the constellation Leo K two eighteen B lies within the habital zone to a nearby star.
So is this one of those things? There there is life, but we will never be able to get to that place, Like, yeah, you find it, but we'll never.
Be able to get there. But it's light years away. I guess we would have to communicate with them through radio.
Yes, we'll do. We'll send a Why I can't even send a podcast, We'll have to send to the satellite stream far far out.
George, nowhere you do a podcast? Yeah?
George. George is a multi media man. He does everything podcast. He's got his own like Coast to Coast network, which I'm jealous of. They have like a club I think they have. I was listening to Coast to Coast. I listen sometimes because they replay the show out here where we are on KFI and LA so I listen sometimes. And they had like a Coast the Coast club where people signed up. I think you pay a couple of bucks a month. That's next level, next level. So that's kind of cool.
Yeah, I looked it up. It says Beyond Belief with George Nori four hundred plus episodes.
Ooh nice, you know we love George. George, George, George, George George. This has got to be wonderful for those we.
Got to get him back on with everything that's happened since he was a guest. I would love to talk with you again.
Yeah, absolutely, I'll have to try to schedule something with the great George norri An icon of the Late Night I love that. What else do we have in scientifical Well, here's something to look forward to, Danny, when our bodies start disintegrating in a few years we get older. They have successfully had a pig kidney transplanted into a human. It lasted for two months. That is a brand new record and they always put the world could in these stories.
But this could be a breakthrough for future organ donations. So you can get like a kidney from a pig. Now what I would like to do is get like some strength from a bear. Wouldn't that be cool?
Or a lion.
If you're gonna if you're going to take body parts and organs and things from different creatures, don't you want to go at the very top? Uh, the pig is not at the top of the food chain. Wouldn't you want to go higher up on the food chain? I would.
I would like my stomach switched out for a grizzly stomach.
Oh yeah, they any anything, right, the grizzlies. Let's go for it.
Shout down, man, no, no more acid reflux.
Yeah that's that's that's a fair point. Yeah, well I can get a nice flowing head of hair from I guess uh, well the lion, right, the lion has the great the mame. It would be the way to go. There, the last one we'll get out on this for scientifical red fire ants, one of the most invasive speecies species out there has stormed Europe. And I love the quote in this story, and the quote is we knew this day would come. It's like storming the beaches of Normandy.
We knew this day would come, is the money quote there. And it's great. And they've established at least eighty eight nest across twelve acres of land in a city in the city of Syracuse in Sicily. Who knew there was a town called Syracuse in Sicily. You think they have orange men there? Maybe I have no idea. So there you go. They're freaking out in Sicily because of fire ants. The scientists are like, man, I'm looking at these little buggers, dude.
Those fire ants are no joke. In rialto California, when we were little kids, me and my older brother, we would take tomato worms and we would feed them to the ant hills and those red fire ants. O. Man, they were gangster watching them take over a worm and pull it down the hole.
Yeah. I've never experienced the fire ant. But it says they have a very painful sting.
Yeah.
Is there a non painful sting? It says they inflict when they feel threatened.
It feels like a beasting.
They say it occasionally can lead to anaphylactic shock. So oh that's good. Yeah, there you go. And I'm looking at a map here of where these buggers are supposed to go around Europe, which is you know, I don't I'm not in Europe. We have people that I love. The charts on this they've got well, by twenty fifty, all of Europe is pretty much going to be covered
in fire ants. And it's great. They're analyzing. They've already analyzed wind patterns DNA tests on the Sicilian queen ant and they determined that the pest likely came from either the United States or China. US or China. Oh wow. It says there are less than one hundred known fire ant colonies in Italy, but scientists are warning that the spread will be rapid and right by the seaports there all that, so, all right, something to look forward to her for our friends that listen in Europe, we'll get
out on that. It's Friday, Danny. Let you do your thing. Promote what do you got coming up today? Covino and Rich today, actually Benny versus the Yeah, I'm programmed to promote that first, now that's right, that's right, Benny versus the Penny. I don't know when it's even going to be on. I know, I think it's Friday night in Boston and then it'll hopefully be on in LA on Friday. And I don't know, just look at your local cable listings.
But it's more Coveno and Rich, much more important, much more important.
You know, it is still a weekday. You finished your radio show, you lucky dog. I'm going to go in at one pm, and two pm is when our afternoon show starts on the West Side, and that's five pm in New York City for the fun Friday edition of Covino and Rich.
Very cool, and I will be doing as I mentioned I'm doing some double dipping. If you were not paying attention, if you fell asleep during that part of the podcast. I not only will be on Benny Versus the Penny, but on NBC Sports Boston. I think it might be on on some other NBC affiliates. I'll be on a show called The Weekly Spread. Actually, I think this might just be in Boston Weekly Spread, so check that out. I think Shane Veren is part of that. Remember him.
He played for the Patriots back in the day. Of course, listen, have a great rest of your Friday. Thank you for making this podcast part of your routine. Appreciate we have brand new original podcast audio content that is not available anywhere other than this on Saturday, and we got the mailbag on Sunday as well, so we will talk to you next time later.
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