Kubbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Maller and Danny g Radio Happy Sundays. Sunday Sunday. It is the twentieth day of October. It is a football Sunday, Danny, a football palloza. Now I realize at this point the NFL season, Danny, not quite as enjoyable for you as it was a few weeks ago, nor for me. Okay, I feel like we're in the same boat and our worlds are colliding today, Danny, it's the Raiders in the Rams. It's the Fifth Hour Battle Royale in the Hood in Inglewood.
Later this doing the Raiders, your Raiders and my La Rams, and that is a chance for the Raiders to get back to three and four. My rams are not very good. Right now, they can't stop anybody.
I feel like the training staff are the most valuable asset that the Las Vegas Raiders have right now. They have so many damn injuries it's not funny. And then suddenly they start getting penalties all over the field. Last week their differential was at minus seven. It's like last in the league their turnover differential. So it's not been fun the past couple of weekends. But they will see what happens. Man, this is like a battle of draft position. So so disappointed.
And you know Ad and O'Connell was not I mean I know no.
You called it at best a lateral move and the old saying in the NFL, two quarterbacks equal no quarterback, and unfortunately that's how it's panned out. I blame all of this ben on the Atlanta Falcons because I really feel like Pennix Junior would have been throwing darts and bombs all over the field. It's unfortunate that I didn't get to watch him in silver and black this season.
Well, now you got Tom Brady. That's gotta be tough, right Tom f and.
Brady if he could bring some brains, kind of put his brains into Mark Davis's Bowl cut head. It's only good.
The point of no return. There's two points in no return for the Raiders that Carolina loss. I still don't know how they did not show up. I knew they were going to have a tru I know it was gonna be tough. I didn't think they would cover the spread. I took Carolina on the TV show. But to lose the game and get their doors blown off Carolina, how does that happen? Thirty three to seven?
I know that's unforgivable that they came out flat in that game, the home opener. There's only one silver lining that I've seen so far this season. DJ Glaze and Jackson Powers. Both dudes look like home runs. And that means to LESCo, like you did with the Chargers as far as selecting players, he's really really good. So I know you gave the Raiders a D grade on that Adams trade, but I feel more confident at least going into the next draft.
I yeah, I don't. It's such a gema when you think you know what you're doing, it's such a crapshoot. And hey, I you know, as you know, I know some people over the Raiders. I hope they do well. I'm pulling for them. But there are three four games in a row. After the Ravens win. We talked about it like the next four or five games, all of them really winnable games. They have played four of them. They're one in three and they got blown out in
three of the four games. Obviously they won the one against the Browns, but they got blown out by the Broncos, who look, I know you don't want to admit this, but they look like at least a wildcard team, a contender for a wildless but they have a really good defense. They have no quarterback, but they can run the ball. Special teams are all right, and they appear to have a decent defense in Denvers. So that's the formula to get to where you need to be to be in a wildcard position in the AFC.
Even if boat Nicks looks like an average rookie. I praised their defense on fsr's airwaves. Their defense looks legit.
Are we doing sporty talk? Is that what we're doing?
We started I think we started yesterday's podcast the same way. But don't worry because the rest of the twenty five minutes is grab ass.
Yeah, yeah, we're just gonna gonna fuck them on the pretendo. So to prove that point. To prove that point, we have the mail bag where I promise we'll get to it. We had. I have the idiom of the week, Idiom of the week, the Friday Pot. You were not with me on the Friday Pot. The Friday Pot we did. This is so funny. This guy Scott, not blind Scott, this other guy from New York, I think he's in New York. He sent me a message. He says, hey, can you look up the origins of blowing smoke up
your ass? So that was wild, Danny. I don't know if you heard the Friday Pot, but they that was actually a medical procedure. They treated people by blowing smoke up their ass when they thought they were drowning or whatever, or they were trying to get them to come back from death. So today is tongue in cheek, Tongue in cheek, and this is the obvious. You know, hey, that was said tongue in cheek. You know you're poking the bulge in your cheek and all that.
This that's also what a girl did to me in the seventh grade.
Hey, oh yeah, always remember the first time you get that French kiss, So in the seventeen hundreds. In the seventeen hundreds, this goes all the way back. You know, people may may have poked their cheek with their tongues to indicate skepticism. They're not sure the modern meeting though, they are sure about this eighteen forty two. The phrase at that point they go back by recorded written history.
It indicates that someone or something you know tends to be humorously ironic, so that goes back to eighteen forty two. It was first used in documentation by Sir Walter Scott, and he's a novelist. Sir Walter Scott used the phrase in The Fair Maid of Perth Never Heard of It eighteen twenty eight, so that goes back before eighteen forty two. The earliest known use of the phrase tongue in cheek as an adverb was in eighteen fifty six, and it's
been used off and on. Obviously, no not all the time, but since the mid eighteen hundreds, and the earliest evidence of the phrase in another location nineteen thirty three. The Times literary supplement that must be really good reading, unless it's not really good reading unless it is not. But that is the idiom of the week. Tongue in cheek, your idiom of the week. Should we get to the mailbag right now?
Let's do it.
Here we go, it's this mailbag. Thank you, ohioal. I haven't heard from Ohio in a while. I hope he's doing all right and still listening and hearing his work on this podcast. So in the mailbag, these are actual questions by actual listeners. We will ripple through these questions. These are actual messages. You can submit them via our email Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. I haven't used the Facebook page for this in a while. I just pour myself out to get you to watch Benny
Versus the Penny on Instagram and Facebook. So I can go back to requesting questions on that. But we've done really well. Fortunately the podcast is doing well enough. We have a large enough spectrum. See what I did their tongue in cheek of listeners, Danny that we have enough
people with the question. So the first one in is from Alf from the Chief CEC says is Ben, will you be making the sojourn to the new taj Mahal the Insuit Dome to watch your team, the Clippers, and visit with Stay awake with Jake Warner and Chuck the Condor, Great Question Alf, the Mecca of basketball, the Holy Land of the NBA, the Palace in the hood in Inglewood.
I was just going to say, have fun driving to Inglewood for that, Ben.
Yeah. Well, I've decided that it's a game time decision. I've reached out to some of the Clipper people to let them know, hey, I'm interested.
Yeah, I did. Clipper Darryl reply to you.
You don't have to be jealous because he's a friend. You don't need to be jealous. There's no need for jealousy. It's okay. I've had him on this podcast before. Maybe I'll get him on again. I don't like to burn bridges. No, no, So I thought Opening Night's gonna be just over the top. And I wasn't the first game ever played at Staple Center back when I was called Staple Center, and that
was kind of cool to say I was there. Anybody on the Clippers is half of what Kobe Bryant is, part of me wants to be at the first spot here. And then it's also depressing that this will be the fourth arena the Clippers have played in since I started in the media, and that really is like, wow, I'm becoming old, Like that is insane. The first the arena of the La Sports Arena no longer exists. They blew
that thing up for a soccer stadium. Staples Center has had a different name and all kinds of craziness that's gone on down there. And now they played at the Pond in Anaheim for it was like eight to ten games something like that. They had a package of games in Anaheim for years back in the early two thousands. So this will be the fourth arena. And yeah, so I'll be out there at some point out whether I'm
there opening night, which is Wednesday. I think I probably will go Wednesday because I was worried about the Baseball playoff schedule and all that, but it looks like there's no games on Wednesday, so I think I'm good in that department ed jar guy stay Away with Jake is the engineer for the Clipper radio network, so he's out there all the time. What is still wrong with the Clippers?
I feel like we need an updated Clipper drop for our show. What is still wrong with Your Clippers? Arena.
There's nothing. You're just upset because when you have to take a piss, you have to you have to wait in line, and Clipper you can urinate all you want. And there's p in the air everywhere. And by the way.
Oh I saw this, I saw this. You're going to talk about the free burger.
No, I don't need to bring that up. You can bring that up if you want. I'm not going to bring that up.
But Bomber. Bomber is doing promotions where they have like audio meters on each seat and if you're the loudest person throughout the entire game, he's going to give you a free hamburger.
Why is that bad? Who doesn't like a free hamburger?
Man? No, gay, I want something more than a free hamburger. If I'm going to scream for you for two hours.
What do you want to share of Microsoft stock from bombs? Yeah? All right, listen, you're jealous that the Clipper fans.
Oh no, no, I mean it's wonderful that you have a new arena. Just how about if I was talking to Bomber, though, I'd be like a burger. How about you concentrate on winning? How about that?
Well, Kawhi Leonard is in mid season form? Is he is right where he is? Actually's in playoff form, Kawhi Leonard, He's ready to go. He's right where he usually is when it comes playoff time, getting hemorrhoids on the bench.
So that is that is good.
But I'll be again. I'll be out there. Thank you for asking. And I am a little concerned about the parking situation, so I have to make sure everything's I don't pay for parking, as you know, so as long as they have parking, I will attend. I am such a radio loser Kevin in Kansas right since, says dear Ben and Danny G I have listened to every hour of every show since April of twenty twenty, God bless you, including the real fifth hour. I consider myself reasonably smart. Yeah,
you're a teacher for a long time. But I cannot, for the life of me figure out the joke behind that pops up periodically the Royals are having their problems on the road. I try and try to figure it out what is going on with that drug? But I admit defeat. Could you please enlighten me so I can be in on the joke from now on. Sure, So Danny, why don't we play it here and then we can do a frame by frame breakdown? Would that work for you? We play it right now?
Yeah, And I haven't got to use this drop in in a while, so it's nice to refresh it.
Royals having their problems on the road. I'm Ben Mala, Kansas City, fighting for the American Lake Central with the White Sox. They're in Texas on this Labor Day and the Rangers bombing away looks so refreshing.
I've decided to put on my twin trunks and dive right in.
How is it? If you would see me now, you would know.
Clearly not the highlight that I don't know what that was.
Mark Deciero two home runs and the Rangers on top six to two.
Okay, so that makes playing Kevin why, that's that's funny?
I first let me laugh.
You know, there's no need. This is twenty years old, okay. Mark to Cher is not playing anymore. He's not walking through that door. So it was a holiday. I was doing updates and they they had gotten rid of one of Tony Bruno's producers on his show, and the guy on his way out sabotaged a bunch of sound bites. So I'm in the main studio. Art, the great Art Martinez. You know Danny. He's a celebrity at the Mallard parties. So Art was my engineer, one of the great engineers
in race. I love Art, amazing man, radio man, military man, semperfy so Art what he had done. I'm doing the update. I tossed the art to hit the sound very simple, it's Radio one oh one. So I do the intro. I tossed the art for the highlight of the home run, and I said, the Royals are having their problems on
the road. And we go to the sound bite and the person that had been let go sabotage the SoundBite and they recorded this weird sounding I don't even know what that is, like a commercial, I guess, I don't even know what the f that is. So anyway, al alf alf was the lost so Kevin so Art not alf Art hits the button, but then Art stands up because that was the only SoundBite I was playing during
the update. He stands up, he's not listening. He turns his back and walks towards the back of the room he's in and I have no way of stopping it. I've never heard this before. It's not the SoundBite I asked for. And I'm waiting for an F bomb or you know, some kind of profanity in the middle of it, and and I was waving my arms, but it didn't
know good. It was futile because Artie wasn't looking. So then I started getting pissed off, and I started bank you can hear in the SoundBite and play it again. But I kept banging my hand on the table because I was getting pissed off because I didn't know what to do. I was like, what am I supposed to do?
And so that's why the drop evolved though, because when I started playing it on a regular basis on your Overnight show, the crew got a kick out of how high pitched your voice was.
Royal's having their problems on the road. I'm Ben Mallik. Well, I started, it was child labor. I started it was running like a Nike sweatshop, and that's when I started.
Yeah, so there's a great story behind how that drop came about. But I think overall, the quality, the tone, the pitch of your voice is what put it into the Marconi Hall of fame, and that's why it still lives in infamy.
I've been at Fox Sports Radio for what is it twenty three or twenty four years now, but I'm only twenty seven, so you can do the math on that. I started as a toddler, and I think things, you know, all things considered, you know, normally. So that's it given. I hope that answers.
Your yeah, your question. So basically, Ben will be in a motorized scooter doing live FSR goes in a matter of months.
I'll be breaking down the great grandchildren of the people I first started talking about when I started at Fox Sports Radio. I think that might be happening next week. The way things are going.
Hot Sports takes from newspaper clippings.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. The highest speed sports wire. Mike in the great City of Fullerton rights and he says, Hi, Bend and Danny G. Given the current state of our writers and a possible incoming fire sale, I'd like to apologize to Danny G out of pity. I'm sorry. There's always next year, at least, he says. And then also he says, as great as Fullerton is, Mike, who may or may not be related to fer Dog. It is
unfortunately a situation that they still have ants. He says, So how do you guys deal with ant problems and the Malor Mansion, at the Malor Mansion of the Ghiri Delli Garden. Have you tried traps or poisonous baits or do you just stick with cans of raid? That is from Mike in Fullerton. You want to check on.
The that raid? No, I mean we talked about football to start the podcast. Yeah, but that's you'll probably agree with me on this. The smell of raid is horrible.
Yeah. I was on team Team Raid until I realized, A it doesn't really work and there's other things that are much better. And I actually would like to thank the audience and I'm going to give out a little life hack. All right, this is Benny d do it yourself, Benny with the wide powerful microphone, the each of Fox Sports Radio. I don't know if you were with me or not. It might have been before you were around.
I had a massive ant infestation at the Malor Mansion, the previous Malor mansion, and it was bad and I got rid of them and they came right back, and I didn't know what to do. And so I had a moment of weakness on the on the radio show, and I was like, listen, does anyone know what I can do? I use these raid things, I use all
this crap. Nothing works. And these guys they recommended a product that I have used ever since then, and anytime I see ants, I put this down and within a couple of days, it's all gone, all the ants are gone. You know what product I'm talking about, Danny Canoe cologne. No, it's the it's Tarot liquid ant killer bait. And you get it at home depot lows or any.
Ye remember you bringing this up before.
Yeah, So these things it's really simple, chills all common household ants. It's filled. All you do is you snap off the little tab, You pour a little bit out of it, a little bit of the liquid out of it, and it attracts the ants. And they put like six six or so of these little things in there, and the ants eat all the goo and then they're so excited. It's a feeding frenzy. And those little buggers they go back to the queen ant and they give the food to the queen ant. And then she.
Died and then so the assassinator.
They all die. Yeah, it's awesome. It is so. It is such a great product. I have tried a bunch of different things. They don't they're not a sponsor. They should be.
Feels like something that doctor Evil invented.
It's awesome. I don't know how they came up up with that. I don't even know what that liquid is. I have no idea. I don't really care, but man, it works. It is the way to go. But there is a caution. I think it is bad. It's going to keep out of reach of children. I don't know what's actually in there, but it's definitely not like RAID. Like RAID, you feel like there's poison in the air everywhere. With Raid. This it's just like some water with some
other crap in there and all. And they also have an outdoor version that does not work as well, at least it didn't work well for me. The indoor one, though, is next level.
This is way your answer is way better than mine. My solution was to take missus Garadelli's aquainet, get a lighter and create my own blowtorch and get the ant trail like that. But you might start a fire.
Well, that would be the much more enjoyable way to go. That would be the more enjoyable way to go. What I'm doing is is more practical, but yours would be more entertaining, and you'd get a lot of hits on the YouTube and all that stuff. So good luck by you can light me on fire with no hose. Next up is Kwang from Vietnam. Listening to the Fifth Hour podcast. He says in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, this actually came up on the show. Believe it or not. I
had a conversation with the wife. She was watching randomly The Wizard of Oz, this whole classic move. So I of course pointed out that if they made the Wizard of Oz the same way they made it then today it would have been panned. People would have said it's dopey, it's hokey, it sucks. But all of those early Hollywood movies, the boom times of Hollywood where they had double showings and all that, that period of time, everything is celebrated.
It's the Goldilock zone for movie making. I watched The Creature from the Black Lion with my wife many many months ago. Terrible movie. Yet there are references to the Creature from the black lagoon all over the place. So this was my theory, and this guy called up and was we were debating it whatever. So Kwang in Vietnam says in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, the yellow brick road is a symbol of the gold standard. He says, the city of Oz is an abbreviation for ounces, a
unit of measurement for gold and silver. The book is considered an allegory of the late nineteenth century debate over monetary policy, and the characters and events in the story represent various political figures and issues. He says, Dorothy represents America and her honest values. Silver's shoes represent the populace call to back the dollar with silver. Scarecrow represents the American farmer. The tin Men represents the American worker. The
Cowardly Lion represents William Jennings Bryan. The Wicked Witch of the West represented William McKinley, a Republican presidential nominee in eighteen ninety six. The Emerald City represented Washington, DC, where green is the color of money, and the Great Wizard of Oz represents Grover Cleveland, the Democratic President. Says the gold standard was the dominant monetary system in the early twentieth century, but it was eventually abandoned in favor of
the US dollar. How much of this do you think is true, Danny? And how much of this do you think is bullshit?
This sounds either completely true or completely full of shit, like there's no middle.
Yeah, I bet you it's probably all true, because that's a lot to make up. And that sounds like and I don't know Kwang he's a fan of the show. It sounds like he knew that he had that in his back pocket. That's what it sounds like to me. Maybe Hank in Tokyo, one of these other guys or our guy in the Auto Bond can can let us know one of the international guys about the Wizard of Oz. But thank you Kwag for your downloads. We dominate downloads
in Vietnam, Danny. This show is I mean, my God, the fifth hour podcast, the number one podcast by an overnight radio guy. And of course Danny from Covino and Rich that does a separate podcast. We're number one in that demographic in Vietnam.
So you're welcome.
Dodger ral rights in I don't know who that is. He's in Covina, apparently in the San Gabriel Valley of so Kelly says, Hey, Ben, do you think that that guy you were talking about last week, DJ Spin from San Diego has recovered from having a tantrum when you trash the Padres. I'm sure he's all right. I like Patrick. Patrick's a great supporter of the show DJ Spin. I think is what he wants to be known as.
Whatever.
Yeah, was all He seems genuinely upset. But I am fascinating, Danny the number of people that love the show when I'm ripping someone else's team. But when I'm ripping there, all of a sudden, I am the devil incarnate. I just like it's the same I'm not changing anything. I'm just the same person. I'm just doing the same material. It just happens to be. It happens to be about a team you like, and then you know, we whittle it down. It doesn't last that long.
Yeah, And I think Spin he was slightly annoyed that you were ripping the Padres. He was all the way annoyed that you called the city of San Diego bush league, And I think that's what he was really upset about the attack. The attack on his city, Ben because San Diego is beautiful for the most part.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I.
Except for the Padres fans there.
And I admitted to him, I said, listen, okay, this is improv I'm letting it rip. It's open mic night every hour when I'm starting these rents. I mean, I have I have some bullet points down, but once I get started, once the engine gets going, Danny, yeah, you let it rip. You let her rip, and I let it rip. And uh, I think I said San Diego is a minor league town. Did I say that? I think, yeah. I thought it was a good line. He did not appreciate it. And uh, you know, how can I really
hate San Diego. I got my starting radio in San Diego. When I was a kid. Growing up, we used to go to San Diego. It seemed like every other month during the summer to go to the Museum's Baubulla Park, the San Diego Zoo, the Wild Animal Park. I mean, we're always in San Diego. H So, but the Padres did annoy me, and they deserve what they got. The Padres deserve what they got.
Yep. My fondest memory of San Diego, like whenever I think San Diego, I think of the smell of giraft poop.
The draft poop, well that's say.
One full yeah, because my mom would bring us to the San Diego Zoo at least once a year and always stand there for way too long looking at the giraffes.
That's that was your favorite animal growing up. The draft that was what you like.
It was her favorite animal. I wanted to go to the lion.
Yeah, yeah, I look at how far.
The poop falls. Well, yeah, the draft is tall.
I remember as a kid going into the aquariums in the you know, there's like the fish thing where they and I never saw anything. I was like, what's this the stupidest, you know thing. They're all I don't know where they are. They're not here, you know, going to that they'd have everyone wanted to have, like a polar bear or something like that. And you go in there and like it was sleeping in the back, you know, and you're like I want to see it, like what
is going on? You know? And then there's other times you'll you'll go to the zoo and you know, the two animals will be fing for the kids.
That's always always entertaining for sure, what else do we have on the mail bay? Yeah, but Harry from Ohio says, hey, Ben and Danny was the movie.
But from Rochester, a paid caller. Uh no, we don't have a budget. They don't. They can barely pay us. Uh, he says the he says, the guy who ripped liar Liar, I spit out my coffee. Yeah. Yeah, so this was a This was more improv Danny. This guy calls up from Rochester. We're having the conversation about Wizard of Oz. Yeah, this guy calls up. You know, I'm mister movie guy
knows everything about movies, you know, the whole thing. That guy expert whatever, he probably knows more about movies than me. I'm not I'm not a huge movie So he calls up. We're talking about movies and Wizard of Oz. And then I knew this guy was kind of a bit of a heart Oh, like you really into it, and so I just casually said, hey, uh all time, great movie, yes or no, liar liar, and he just buries lyre alarer and it was it was just just wonderful.
That's my man.
Right across the glass over there, and just absolutely destroyed the movie, so it was it was a lot of fun.
Right.
We'll get out on that everyone, David, Steve, Mike, all you other guys. Resubmit next week. We'll see what happens. Hopefully we can get your questions on the air. But thanks to everyone who sent questions, those that got on the air, those that didn't get on the air, those that just sent photos of you watching Benny versus the penny. I do appreciate. It does wonders for my self esteem and my ego, and so I need that. I will be back tonight, Danny breaking it all down, the good
the bad. I will be in the Magic Radio Box normal time, checking everything out football wise and all the other events of the day today, some big, some not so big. I'm at the point now where I expect the Raiders to beat their That's why I would be surprised if the Rams win. I know they're favored and all that. So anyway, I'll get out anything you want to promote, Danny, anything at all.
I'll be back with Covino and Rich for a fun Monday afternoon show, hopefully teasing Rich about his mets and that of course is on the West side from two to four pm and on the East coast five to seven pm in beautiful see. Where should we go on the east coast bend?
How about you go to a city I was at this year, Charleston, South Carolina.
Beautiful Charles Beautiful Charleston, South Carolina.
And I'll be back tonight and every night from eleven pm till three am in the west. That's the puppeted two am six am Eastern time. But we do do the morning drive from five to six early morning jobs. He ay, wonderful, glorious day. We'll catch you next time.
You said to do do austa pasta gotta murder, I gotta go