Kutbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air eywhere thank you for finding and listening and doing all that. The Fifth Hour, as a new weekend is upon us. And of course that means that Danny Gee's back. He's back. Well, you knew he was already back, but he's back on the podcast after a rare and appropriate weekend away where I got to hang out with the vegan for a few days. But Danny back from why. I'm sure you have some amazing stories to tell for the weekend about your travels to Hawaii.
We'll hear all about what happened and whatnot as we go through the weekend. It is Friday. That's a big weekend, big holiday weekend. If you enjoy Saint Patrick's Day which is on Sunday, Today's the fifteenth day of March, which I am told is everything you think is wrong day. That that is one of the dopey holidays today everything you think is wrong, which is a good day to remember that you are not that smart.
Prefer National Potato Chip Day, which was yesterday.
Yeah, that's not a bad day. But the problem with potato chips is you cannot stop eating them. It is impossible to stop eating them. And I can eat the whole bag. Yeah, properly chip, I just eat the whole thing.
So now, what's say you ones with ridges or the old school potato chip?
Yeah, I like the ruffles with the ridges I enjoy. But there's not really a bad potato chip. It's hard to find. And now I even like the flavored chips. I don't love the barbecue. You know what's really good Those crunchy kettle chips.
Oh those are really good.
Those are amazing. And I'll even eat what's the one with the dip flavor, the sour cream and onion. I'll eat that.
Oh, okay, a chip form? Probably the cool ranch dorito is one of your favorites too.
I'm going to ed that out of the podcast. Anyone will hear that, But no, you know, a taco flavored dorito solid. The ranch is the devil's blood is, you know, But the taco flavor one not bad. That's kind of an old school type taste.
As far as yeah, yesterday, I was thinking about the classic tortilla chip too, when they come hot to your table at a Mexican restaurant.
Oh yeah, no. And you know my rule, Danny, You've known me a long time. My rule, I have a steadfast rule. When I go to a Mexican restaurant, there better be a basket of chips and sauce on the table. When I go to an Italian restaurant, there better be a basket of bread, and if not, they charge extra for that.
I'll not go back. I'm going to start living by your mantra. Because we had a bad experience at one quote unquote Mexican restaurant. We only went to one in Honolulu, and they charged for the chips, they charged for the salsa even and right then and there we should have walked out. The meal was horrible. I'll tell you about it later on the weekend, Ben, But had we lived by your words, we could have avoided disaster.
Yeah, you build in if you're in there, and we've got listeners that are in the restaurant business, and I've had some people that have been pen pals of mine through the show that work in restaurants. And you build in the cost and because like, there are people like us that will eat a lot of chips, but there's a lot of people do not, And so you just gotta gott a fact to that. D But if you don't have chips and sauce at a Mexican restaurant, you stink.
And you don't charge nickel and diamond. You know, come on, you overcharge for the food as it is. I understand you have to make money, but it's ridiculous. So this being Friday and the first podcast since the Greatest Night in Overnight sports radio, we have a tradition on the fifth hour, the first pod after the Benny Awards, what we do is go in depth post game covers. Nobody else has this. You know how much we spend for this, Danny g the amount of revenue that iHeart spends to
have exclusive postgame rights to the Bennies. This is an insane thing and it's ours. We have it. No one else has it, Danny, It's on this podcast. We are the mouthpiece to the post game of the Bennies. This is an amazing thing. It's like doing the postgame show for the Super Bowl.
You're not kidding. Later this morning, I'm meeting up with the guys to get on a Southwest flight to go do a live broadcast. And we don't have travel expenses for this little remote. They said, all of the travel budget is used up to run the Bennies.
Yeah, it's just all the producers, the makeup people, the wardrobe people. It's it's just a crazy, exciting.
One coops botox.
So let me if you missed the Bennies, it is available the podcast, but I'll refresh your memory. And we're not going to spend too much time on this, Danny, but we we will. You know, it's a big deal. It's a big fan night. I had people sending me who won Benny's. I had a couple of people, I had one, well one I didn't have. I had one person send me an email saying how important it was to them, and it was like really, really emotional. And then of course I ranted on the air and said, oh,
it's just a stupid bit on a radio show. And then I got an email bag. Well, you didn't have to say that. You know, I can't win. I can't wind. I can't win. But the categories, the nominees, and we'll kind of go over this because we gave out who won very controversial ending to the Benny Awards, very controversial, the biggest award. But we'll start with the Rookie Caller of the Year, and if you remember, that went to Tony in the Bay. Tony has really mastered the art
of the witty sarcasm. I think I like about Tony's calls is they don't usually didn't take that long, and he normally says something right on the line. He's like towing the line of what you can get away with and what you can't get away with. And occasionally he won't even tow the line. He'll just say a dirty word and get dumped, you know, just like that. But I enjoyed. I actually laugh at a lot of the stuff Tony says on the ear. I find him very enjoyable. So I was happy he won, but it was really
close for Rookie Caller of the Year. Always accused me, and you'll have the same people call and you have no new calls. Well, this category proves there is new talent. There's always new talent out there that called the show, that find the show, even with me not giving out the number most nights, so Tony one but heavy metal Kevin from Maine gave him a run for his money, and my guy Eddie and Charlotte the thumbs up thumbs down. Dude.
I like his calls a lot. I wish he would call more, but those those three were like neck and neck and neck for Rookie Call of the Year. We had the game show contests in the year, and that was Uncle Moe as he took down Justin and Cincinnati. I think he won by five percent of the vote, which is a fair amount. We had thousands of votes and whatnot on the different the different platforms, So that went to Uncle Moe. Who's I learned this week. It's kind of weird, Danny, Uncle Mo and Eddie are text
buddies that they text each other. I thought was interesting, kind of odd to me because my experience with listeners having my number is they don't stop calling, like Doc Mike has had my number for fifteen years or that's probably longer than that now And.
Yeah, and he has the hotline number as well, so it's a double not anymore though.
Because we changed the hotline right, we moved to the new studio, so he does not have the new hotline number, which drives him nuts and he why can't I get the number? What's over that? We had the lame joke contributor to the year. We have so many great joke right, I had lame jokes just earlier today in the overnight and that went that was that was a route or route as surfer Todd the comedian. He got over forty percent of the popular vote, so good job by him.
Chip and Maine though, did he did very well. Chip and Maine finished in second, and he was in second by a wide margin. So those are the top two in that category. You're listening to our exclusive coverage of the Benny's postgame. It is made possible by Danny ges depleted bank account from his trip to Hawaii. We have asked Ben category the top asked Ben questions. This was very close. This was very close between It went to
ferg Dog Fergie one. He edged out the late night drug tester and Alf the Alien opiner, who are neck and neck right behind him. So he won, and then I love my favorite part of this category is Rory, who on X he used his full name, this guy Rory, and he's like he realized that that didn't really work for branding purposes. You've got to have more of a memorable name, and so for branding purposes, he's screw that and he's now going by King Rory or Rory the
King or something like that. So ferg Dog was very happy with his win, as he should be. Best crew filling, very big category. Used to be in this category, Danny, but not anymore because you have you're on a different show. We had Brian no Moncey Balanos Finley and Mark Ramsey and Mark fils In pretty much worked more than I was Sam the last year.
Dude, he's got such a huge personality. I don't see how he could lose.
Yeah, he's just bubbling up. I know this. You know certain things that have been true in the Mallard militia over the years, and if there is a a woman on the show, generally they win every contest. Have you you know what I'm saying?
And are you saying that you have a bunch of thirsty dudes listening.
I'm just saying, there's been a pattern. I've been doing this for a long time and the entire time these these these horn dogs, they hear a female voice and they vote. Vote. Mat Manzi won by She got almost forty five percent of the vote.
That doesn't surprise me.
Yeah, I was forty five percent. Everyone was voting for the Drop of the Year. Now, this was a very competitive category on the Bennies, and we could have done many more than the final that we're getting. We had four.
If you're fill in board operators don't even know what drops to play the past few months.
Yeah, it's we have really gone downhill. Like I was, Sam, I love saying, but he didn't, you know, he kind of stopped putting stuff in and he didn't play him. And you were really good at the drops, and Roberto was really good at the drops. We need to, you know, get back to that. I'd like to get back there, but uh we The final four were Marcel and Brooklyn. I'm a Crackhead, which is was by far my favorite, Jet who fled I'm on the Ben Mallor radio show
dumb Ass. Then we had Dad Gummett burping on the on the show of the drop.
Wow, low standards there.
Marcel singing wheels on the bus go round and round, wheels on the bus go around around, and this went to Jed, who fled. I did not approve of that. I did not think that was the drop of the year. I think that was bad job by the constituents. I don't think they did a good job on that. Danny I would have gone with I'm a crackhead.
Yeah.
I think Jed would have finished in second place there if we didn't have a Russian judge.
Yeah, it's not right. And the separation, I mean it was close. There was about seventeen I think seventeen votes separated Jed who won, and Marcel. But that was one of the funny saying Marcel, I know he's got some issues and what he loves calling the show and the night he said he was a Seattle ambassador and we're like, are you a fan of the Cracket And he's like yeah, yeah, like he said yes or something. So I was like, oh, yeah,
you know what their fans are called, the crackheads. And he's like, yes, I'm a crackhead.
It was a really quick bend before you move on to the next category. While we're on Drops, You'll be happy to hear that I spent not one, but two hours with Lorena this past week getting her the right songs to play on Friday to continue that tradition, and a list of the best Ben Mallard drops, classic and new to play when she takes over.
Well, that's good and bad, but I would also I thank you for that. I would like to point out that I have had freedom the last couple months because I was say I'm just stop putting stuff in. So I will say I have just said ridiculous stuff that would have I know, would have come back to haunt me if DROPS. So I had the freedom, the editorial freedom Danny to just say the most ridiculous things because I knew they would not come back too.
Well, she doesn't have a happy trigger finger, so I don't think she's going to over inundate you with DROPS, which is good. I told her less is more quality over quantity. I think she gets it. So yeah, it'll be a nice little comeback and pushback on you hogging the whole network to yourself.
Well I am, I'm excited. I think she'll be really good for the show. Sure, we'll talk more about her as we go for it, maybe we'll get her on the podcast and all that. But yeah, the properly time drop is much more effective. It's kind of like it's like the profanity on satellite radio. If you it's rare and appropriate, it has more of a lethal nature to it. And the same thing with drops. If you plably drops every five seconds, it's like, all right, you know, can't well.
And there are some that are tradition and like our thing and almost like a bit you know where, like when I just said a Russian judge right after that on the podcast, you hear racist, and the listeners love that. They laughed their ass off, And I did that on your live show, and you know, it's been a tradition now, so that's things like that have to continue for the rest of the time you are on FSR.
And Iowa Sam did not use the racist job, so I think the inappropriate playing what's things that aren't racist? When you played is hilarious, Like yeah, it's just the perfect thing, and everyone laughs at that. I don't know anyone that doesn't think that's funny. And if you don't think that's funny, you probably got to stick up your wazoos.
So hey, all right, the female caller of the Year, and we had Tammy and Montana on this one, Andrea the astrology Lady, spin Cycle, Regina who hosted the Malor Meet and Greet at the Mermaid in Minnesota last year, Pam and Seattle who won the Malard Palooza talent show. And this was this was a route or root as Andrea. Very controversial. Andrea, she got a ton of votes. She won by a pretty wide margin. Here wow over Tammy and Montana who finished I don't know, she finished in
second place. I'm sorry spin Cycle re Gina finished in second place. I thought it was Tammy, but it was Regina's.
Should have been Tammy. I was gonna say about Andrea. I don't know if she does fifteen minute hits on your live show, but whenever I'm listening to your show, it feels like fifteen minutes.
Well, it balances out Jed who fled because Jed he does about seventeen minutes in ninety seconds. And so by the way, Andrew will get about, you know, about four minutes of content, but it'll seem like it'll seem like a good twenty minutes. The beer Drinking Brian Worst Call of the Year. I said on the air, very controversial take that this is the most competitive category on the Bennys and the Beer Drinking Brian Worst Call of the Year.
And this was overwhelming, the highest percentage of the vote for any winner, and it was ridiculous. This guy got fifty five percent over fifty five point two percent of the popular vote. Poppy in San Diego is so far ahead of all the other bad callers it is ridonculous. Now, I would like to congratulate Dad Gummett, who finished in second by a wide margin. So he versed keg Drinking Steve was in there, and then Andrew the blind guy
from Bakersfield was far back. Now, somebody sent me an email and said, then the winner of the Worst Caller of the Year should be the person that gets the fewest votes, and that not the one that gets the most. I don't think that's kind of Poppy, who won the award while being suspended for about half the year. Danny, we suspended him for about half the year and he still won the Beer Drinking Brian Memorial Worst Caller of the Year award. So that's very impressive work.
It's appropriate.
Yeah, the last category, the most controversial category, and there's no way to sugarcoat this. We had controversy. We had absolute controversy. This has never happened. We've done the Benny Awards for a long time, goes way back, way back, and this is the first time this has ever happened. So the Genie and Medford Caller of the Year, greatest honor in overnight talk radio. We had a tie. We had a tie.
What there's no ties in the Bennies.
Oh, there are tie. We had the same number of votes exactly for Jed who fled, and Marcella and Brooklyn they both got twenty three point nine percent of the popular vote.
You should shootout with real ammunition.
Marcell would would point the gun up in the air probably, but died. I mean and Laron Maine. What we didn't talk about, and this is what you only get here on the fifth hour Benny's postgame show, is that Blair in Maine we almost had a three way tie. Like Blair in Maine was only a few votes away from having a three way tie, which we would have had to do something. If we can't have a three way tie, you shouldn't have it. I shouldn't have a tie either.
And we talked to the Blue Ribbon Panel Danny next year and we are considering a rules change so this will never happen again, that this will be the only time that Benny's have a tie for the Caller of the Year, that in future Benny Awards we will have a runoff vote to decide. Okay, So, but we didn't have any rules in place. We had what we had
and so congratulations to everyone that was nominated. Andrea the astrology Lady was in there, Andre from the Commonwealth and Emmett the Blind Seahawk fan, he was in there as well, the Big Three, Jed who fled, and Marcel who tied, and then also Whoopee Pie Blair who finished just a little bit behind. And we're talking about having some new categories. I had a couple of people send me email Danny and say, hey, what about a fifth hour contributor category? How about that?
That's a great Abut that's a really good idea.
This is this is like an extra arm from the podcast or from the radio show. Right, this is just the The whole theory is that you've listen to the radio show during the week.
Yeah, maybe it should be like a fifth Hour mail Bag award.
Yeah, yeah, the mail that's a great idea. So we will toss that into the Bennies for next year. And congratulations to everybody that won, and thank you for those of you that didn't complain too loud that you weren't nominated, although you did complain, and all of that wonderful stuff.
So it's Saint Patti's Day weekend kind of a big deal, and I wanted to help out the boys because we usually do foodie fund and we could do We do a few foodie fun stories, but the most important thing here is to get your free get your freebies on Saint Patti's Day weekend here. For example, if you're a fan of Krispy Creme, they are offering a deal starting today here on March fifteenth through Saint Patti's Day where if you wear green, you get a free glazed donut.
So they're also bringing back their green original glazed donuts, so you if you have to buy anything. It doesn't say you have to buy anything. And I have to go in there this weekend and get one of my free donuts.
I might think they're just banking on the fact that you'll feel embarrassed if you just go for the freebie.
Yeah, yeah, it's a figure. You're gonna buy something. Raising canes. I love my Raising canes. And they offer the same deal they do every year for Saint Patti's Day, and the tradition continues here and through Saint Patti's Day. You have to be a Rewards member, but you'll get a free twenty two ounce Lepracaun lemonade. They actually killed lecpra cons and put them in the drink. It's fascinating. Um me, Yeah, it's delicious. You can drink drink Leprechaun juice and it's
it's great. There what else you have? Burger King? I know you love Burger King. You're all about the Burger King, Danny love.
They stink on.
You get a free whopper on Saint Patrick's Day and you might be lucky enough to win one million dollars with the Burger King promotion ek million dollar Whopper contest.
And this is some bullshit. I want to see the receipt.
Was it one of those things you get a million dollars where we're going to pay you five thousand dollars a year for you know X.
Number of years a million dollars and eight of it is credit for the store.
Yeah yeah, yeah, all right. So those are some of the free minis. Some other ones that Bar Louis, which is not everywhere, but they have a few deals there. They have cheaper beer, green beer. They've got the heins of Guinness for cheaper and all that. And Bennigan's they got a whole lineup of food. When you're named Bennigan's and Saint Patrick's Day, you kind of have to do that kind of stuff. A couple of things on Foody Fun I saw we talked about McDonald's No, no, it
was in and out. Remember in and Out closed their first ever location in Oakland, Lime and that we talked a lot about that. Well, Taco Bell is closing all dining rooms in Oakland because of crime. Now they're going to offer cash lists, drive through service only. Now. I talk to a friend of mine who works in the kind of the food business, and he claimed that Taco Bell is taking advantage of the crime in Oakland, that this is just a cost cutting measure. I don't know.
It is pretty bad there, so I'm not sure sure about that. And there's a study out that says it is true that fast food prices have risen higher than the inflation the last fifteen years, so they're ahead of inflation. They're higher than the actual inflation rate. Which Yeah, how much is a value meal?
Now?
Value is like fifteen bucks in a lot of these places for a value.
Yeah, I'm sure you saw how it went viral. I don't know if you talked about it last weekend with the vegan but all the complaining about five guys, Oh.
Yeah, I don't know what we talked about on the podcast, but I did see the noise that was shot soon. Yeah.
Yeah, there was a guy guy's receipt that went viral because he ate by himself out of California and it was like twenty six dollars just for himself, and that would have been a couple dollars even more had he been at a California location.
Yeah, I have not. I've been to five guys. I think five guys is good, but it's not worth the money. It's overpriced. And I'm good. And they got rid of the peanuts during COVID. I don't know if they brought them back, but that annoyed me.
Everybody knows peanuts give you COVID clearly.
I saw a guy at the gym this the other day on the treadmill and he had a mask. I'm like, dude, what do you do my head? I'm like, you come on, I mean that's I don't think that's good for you. I don't think that's good for anybody else. But I don't think you're stopping anything.
But then I saw a guy wearing a mask in our hallway, and then I saw him at Sofi Stadium and he didn't have a mask on.
I don't know what you're talking about. Get out on that.
I didn't say any names.
It'd be great. Friday, You're going on a plane today, Danny is hell you're doing today? Yeah?
Yeah, we are going to do a live broadcast Friday afternoon, four to six pm Central Time in Nashville for the Graduate Hotels SEC tournament in town. And so they have us out there to do the show live. Oh, you're going to Nashville, Nashville, Tennessee, the music city.
A whole weekend there, just.
One day, No, just one day. It's a quick turnaround. They are having us out for the show. We're gonna spend the night and then come right back on Saturday.
Okay, And is you're gonna see your guy Clay. Is he gonna gona come by and say hello?
Oh you know I talked to Clay yesterday. He is down in Florida right now. Oh yeah, he's like, dang it. He texted me back and he said, oh man, we would have had we could have got dinner on Friday night, but I'm I'm down in Florida. So man, better luck next time.
He said. He said, he'll he'll get you when you do the Animal Thunderdome together.
Yeah, dude, I you know what, Usually I end the text by asking him about the start date. I didn't even bother this time. Yeah, just you know, just leave it, just leave it alone. It's in the lawyer's hands right now.
All right, We'll have a wonderful Friday, and we got a new podcasts all weekend long, so come on back, come on back, and make sure to listen. I mean, you need five minutes listen to the whole thing now, But five minutes is all we need. All right, have a great day later, Skater gotta murder. I gotta go