The Fifth Hour: Not a List, Bite Me - podcast episode cover

The Fifth Hour: Not a List, Bite Me

May 30, 202531 min
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Episode description

Ben Maller (produced by Danny G.) has a fun Friday for you! He talks: Celeb Wedding, Yoko Ono Effect, Phrase of the Week, Big Board of Bites, All About the Daylight, & more! 

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Transcript

Speaker 1

Cutbooms.

Speaker 2

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

Speaker 1

In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Maler and Danny g Radio Happy Friday, the last fifth Hour that we will do here in the month of May. We'll have pods all weekend long as the Vancouver sojourn rolls on the Big Malard Get Together last night. Details on that. We're gonna save that for next weekend. Loser, I know, I know you're excited. You have to wait. I'm gonna make you wait for that for next weekend.

But we have a lot to get to, so I thought we'd change it up a little bit on this pod and just have a free for all if you will. I don't know free for all it's the right term. Now we will have the phrase of the week. We've got that. But before we get to the Free for All the round robin with some of the stories that we did not get to on the radio show that we should have gotten to, but they're not really sporty stories, so we didn't get to them. And Yeah, we have

a celebrity wedding. I've been told this is a big deal. Now for me, it's not a big deal because I don't know the people in the wedding. I'm not going to the wedding. I'm hanging out eating poutine all weekend in Canada. But somewhere, likely in California, a big celebrity wedding taking place involving the most valuable player in the NFL, Josh Allen. I believe the wedding is tomorrow. Believe I'm right on that. Believe I'm right on that the wedding

is tomorrow. Anyway that matter. Josh Allen's getting married, which opens him up officially to a term that is saved for athletes that get into high profile relationships and end up getting married. Hailey Steinfeld I believe is the woman's name. She's a big actress. I guess, not really familiar with her work, but they're the big power couple there. I guess and TMZ all over it, and so that means Josh Allen is now eligible to be a member of what is clinically known as the Yoko Ono phrase, the

yoko Ono effect. I guess it's the actual clinical term, which is not an official official thing, but it's something that we have talked about for many, many years on sports radio. And so Josh Allen, now that he is signing on the dotted line, is eligible to join the likes of Carmelo Anthony, who was with La La Anthony, a high profile couple, and the relationship it was a Yoko like situation that she was said to be a distraction.

Carmelo was not doing well at times, and he did put up some good stats, didn't win anything, and that was called the Yoko effect. Many Kardashians have brought down men Chris Humphreys. You might not even know who that was. He was a basketball player, not a good one for the Brooklyn Nets, and he ended up canoodling with Kim Kardashian.

They had a seventy two day marriage and then they got divorced and that was about the end, about the end of Chris Humphreys, and then the Nets were terrible and he wasn't very good and he it was supposed to be a breakout star. It never became a breakout player. And that was that. And then they had Tristan Thompson who was with Chloe Kardashian that didn't go so well. Lamar Odom who was also with Chloe Kardashian and ended up in a brothel in Nevada, did not work out

so well. Theref was some NFL examples, The most famous would be Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson, although people did accuse Giselle of messing with Tom Brady. However, the problem with that if you're gonna claim the Yoko Ono label is that Tom Brady won multiple Super Bowls during their marriage. So never let the facts get in the way of a good story. Anyway, Good luck to Josh Allen. I'm sure things will go just great, just absolutely wonderful, and

we'll see it. The Yoko Odo effect going all the way back to John Lennon and the end of the Beatles, which was directly tied to Yoko Ono. And I know someone that knows Yoko owner. That would be the great Padd O'Brien. I've told the story a few times over the years, but I used to when Pat worked at the company. It was someone who did shows with Pad O'Brien, and so every once in a while I would talk to Pat off campus, off work, and I remember one

time I called him up. I was on the one oh, I was having the four or five going to the one on one in La I was on the four or five freeway going transitioning to the one on one freeway, and I'm on the phone with Pat and I don't remember what we were talking about. It was something ridiculous, something stupid, and Pat says, hold on, Ben, I've got another call. Yoko's on the other line. Now I don't know whether that is true or not. He always he drop two names, Yoko and Ringo Ringo Star. Those are

the names. I got Ringo on one line, I got Yoko on the other. And like, okay, well whatever, good for you. Good for you, Pat. But anyway, the Yoko Ono effect and now time for this is exciting. Buckle up the phrase of the week, that's right, the phrase of the week on the Fifth Hour podcast. So a lot of prices going up right now because of the political climate, the tariffs, whatever, and this is not a political podcast. It was for about a month, but it's

not a political podcast. So the phrase pay through the nose, which I think every man, woman and child knows, I would argue that every man, woman in child with a IQ above I don't know seven knows. The phrase pay through the nose means to pay a ridiculous amount of money for something that you think is a bit too much, a bit too much. Is it true that that phrase goes all the way back, all the way back to

the Viking times? There's a popular theory by popular people that study phrases and verbiage that that phrase goes all the way back to the ninth century and the Viking's invasion of Ireland. They imposed a tax called the nose tax. The Vikings they were barbarians. And if someone did not or could not pay the nose tax, what do you think happened? That's right, ding ding ding ding ding. The nose would be sliced off, chop, chop, No more nose.

It's all over for the nose. You're done. And so pay through the nose came to me in paying a high price literally or figuratively, pay paying through the nose. Another term pay through the nose appeared in English years and years after the Vikings went around with their nose tacks. This around the seventeenth century, although there are people that are involved in the linguist world that believe it arrived from the Norse practice. The practice the Viking practice and

survived orally through memory. So it wasn't written down, but people talked about it. You know, it was such a dramatic thing. And I would imagine it would be a dramatic thing if you saw one of your friends and they no longer had a nose, or they only had part of a nose because somebody took a sharp object and sliced the nose off. You would remember that, you would tell other people about that. That would be a thing,

that would absolutely be a thing. The earliest written form in English states to sixteen seventy it was written, they must pay through the nose for it. So the most popular and the theory that we are going with is the Vikings back in the ninth century invading Ireland and having a nose tax, leading to the phrase of the week, pay through the nose. We're going to go around now some stories that we should have probably talked about, but we didn't talk about on the radio show over the

course of the week. And I thought these were interesting. I thought these were interesting. I don't know how many of you were gonna get too, might not get to that many. So there's a story out that if you are stuck in traffic, you are more likely to do what you are more likely to go to the drive through. That's right. Traffic delays make people more likely to choose

fast food over going to the grocery store. A new study out recently found that even a small increase in can ingestion leads to a measurable rise a measurable rise in eating fast food. That's right, and it leads to a rise in fast food a drop in supermarket trips. The effect is strongest during evening rush hour congestion. They says five to seven. They clearly didn't do this in Los Angeles, where it starts at one in the afternoon and goes all the way till eight o'clock at night. Anyway,

right around dinner time. That is the place on the clock where the most impact is taken for food choices. Although it does say or that they did do this in Los Angeles, but if you think five to seven is rush hour, my friend, you have not seen anything. I say time loss to traffic. May that's a weasel word, may be quietly shaping public health. And they estimate that this adds up to one point two million extra fast food visits per year. That's just in La County. So okay,

all you you health in us. Get rid of traffic and then people won't eat fast food. Just get rid of traffic and you're you're good to go. What's next here? How about this one? How about this one? The dirtiest area on a cruise ship is blank. The dirtiest area on a cruise ship is blank. Do you have an idea? Have you seen this? You did not see this. It's not the toilets. It's not the toilets. It's not the filth in the kitchen. It's not that. It's what And

I'm not a cruise guy. I know some people that are sports with Coleman, some other people, big cruise people. The dirtiest area on a cruise is the private balcony hot tub ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding ding ning ning. Yes, the private balcony hot tub, which has the trifecta. What do you mean by that. Let me explain. So, according to this new study out the we used to call it Chacuzi back in the day, and some people

still call it the Chacuzi. But the bacteria that is out there is insane to the membrane and handle with care. They claim that it is a three dimensional petri dish, the hot tub. All bacteria needs is three things and they have all three on the cruise ship, the private balcony. Chacuzi. They have a nice warm place to grow. That's what bacteria needs. A nice warm place to grow, plenty of water, ding ding, ding, ding ding, and organic material that they

can use for food. So that is the dirtiest place on a cruise ship. So I'll remember that if I ever get on a cruise ship. I have no plans, no plans to get on a cruise ship. Meanwhile, exciting news from the science world. And this could be really really wild if people start doing this, and you know, someone's going, what is this? Announce your announce what you're talking about? So I thought I saw something like this

a while back. And there's another story out which has popped up here and it's following a similar, similar track and it's more information about the there's a snack that makes rodents see throw. There's a snack that you can eat. And so there's another story out that I saw this week about if you eat a certain amount of this, you can like your skin is transparent in rodents and you can see right through. And it's the coloring of a snack, which is the snack known as Cheetos. That's

Cheetos and Doritos. It's present in a lot of snacks. But yeah, I mean, you gotta have the right amount. So there's some new information out about that. So I thought that was mildly interesting. And how about this one? The average American, as you're listening to the fifth hour, the average American is fully healthy? How many days per month? Now there is on average thirty days a month, thirty one days a month on average, how many days does

the average American feel fully healthy? According to a new study out, Americans feel healthy a total of nineteen days per month, with seventy two percent reporting moderate or poor health at any given time. At any given time, So I thought about this, and I was thinking, what about you when we're looking into the mirrors, like, what about you?

How many days do you feel pretty good? And the answer is, despite my lack of sleep and terrible schedule at work, working overnight, I don't really feel like I'm in bad health at all. I get occasionally I had a sinus thing, which was an annoyance. For the most part, I don't think I'm in poor poor health. I don't feel like I'm in poor health. Let's put it that way. It's how you feel, right, It said nineteen days per month,

them feel pretty good pretty much every day. I mean there's times I don't get a lot of sleep, and it's even worse on certain days, and I got a million things I gotta do and it's a nightmare and all that stuff. They say the top health thieves are fatigue twelve point nine days monthly. With the fatigue, get the fatigue, but it's mostly because I feel like I don't have enough time to get everything in Mood change is ten point one days, digestive shoes nine point eight days,

and headaches seven point five days. They say poor health creates a domino effect. Sixty five percent of workers say it hurts job performance well. Nearly half have gut issues that avoid making whoopee, so they've got all that in a nutshell, in a nutshow. So there's also a lot of people love to complain about everything. There is people that are all about complaining, So what do you do

with that? And there's other people like I've been accused that I do not I do not complain enough, that I am not in touch with my complaints when it comes to my health and all that stuff that I need to complain more. But I digress. I digress, all right. Meanwhile, a news story out this week says, in honor of the very public relationship which has gotten a lot of airtime on our show of Bill Belichick and the Much Younger Lady, a new study says that it's not just dudes.

It's not just dudes that are all about the younger partner. It turns out that both men and women showed a modest but equal preference for younger partners during blind dates, and this challenges the popular opinion by popular people the

it's only men that are drawn to youth. It turns out, accord to this random study that was done No no, no, there's more to it, participates stated age preferences had little to no effect on actual attraction even when dates exceeded their maximum age limits despite equal attraction to younger partners. These study reads long term matches still skewed older male younger female, suggesting there are some other factors like matchmaking practices, societal norms, etc. Etc. Etc. That study done by UC

Davis researchers that you see Davis. They track down over six thousand people on more than forty five hundred blind dates. Bring back Roger Lodge with blind date, and that is what they they came up with. So but I'll tell you this. You get the massive age gap. It's all over the tabloids. People can't get enough. They can't They want to hear every detail. So I've told some stories on this podcast about my beloved dog, Moxie, and we got some good feedback on that. Moxie very very popular,

very popular dog. So I don't know, seems to be based on the feedback. I sit here every weekend and the feedback I get for what I say is not so good. But you tell a story about Moxie, all of a sudden you find people send a lot of messages anyway, So this is not a list. In case Terry and England happens to you, This is not a list, it is a big board and the most dangerous dog. A new study reveals the ten breeds most likely to land your ass in court. If you're lucky, and if

you're not lucky, send you to the hospital. Send you to the hospital. And this is according to a new study out. The data revealed several patterns, several patterns which we will share in Gloria's fashion. Here of the dog breeds that will mess you up. The dog breeds that will mess you up. Number ten on the big board, Labrador retriever, Labrador retriever, number ten. Mastiff is number nine. That's the massive, giant, huge dog. Doberman Pincher is number eight.

The cane corso, I have no idea what that is. The Australian cattle dog. Shout out Ozzie Waz. The German shepherd dog, the German shepherd, the Rottweiler, the boxer, the shepherd and number number one leading the way with over twenty six point seven percent of all bites and the most fatalities in an evening close and the severe bite rate which is pretty high but not the highest. The

danger score off the charts. The answer, that's right. The pit bull every time someone sees a headline a pit bull eats the toddler in the neighborhood, a pitbull, a pit bull attacks grandma. There are the pit bull apologists that will immediately run, well, it's disproportionate, it's not right, the numbers are wrong, and they're good dogs and all that stuff. And now you know what you didn't see on that list, which is a big board. You didn't

see at all one reference to the English bulldog. And the reason why is they're lazy and they it would take a lot of work to bite someone. It would take a lot of work to do all that. They don't want to do that. They want no part of that. They just want to lay around and eat and drink water. And that's it. That's all they want. They want nothing else, that's all they want. So why not there you go, all right, turn the page on that, and what is next year? How about this one? And I thought this

was obvious. I don't know that you needed a study for this. It's all about the daylight, something that those of us that work the overnight shift do not want to hear. They say the immune system's ability to fight infections is driven by daylight. Baby. It's all about the daylight. They go into detail on this and the information this is according to a new study out. This has been around. It's kind of common that there's a weakened immune system

if you don't get a lot of sun. And this is what we deal with doing the overnight your body rhythms you work late at night is negative stuff that happens, and supposing that you can't fight infections and all that stuff. And the circadian rhythm a part of life on Earth right evolved two point five billion years ago, and it allows organisms to adapt based on the twenty four hour solar day. Those of us that work the graveyard shift,

and that's most of us. If you're listening to this, some of you have sold out and go to the day shift. But it's a little different, you know. In the lab, they used a zebra fish, a small freshwater fish commonly sold in pet stores, as a model organism to understand our immune response and bacterial infection. So they they compared us to a zebra fish to figure it

all out. To figure it all out, cells can tell if it's daytime, according to the study, so they know in this daytime and they know when it's nighttime and there you go. So it's it's all about so another story that we're screwed, another story that things are not going well. Well, we need to move on to the alien world. Do do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do do do do Well scientists have delivered

a rather scary message for the future of humanity. You get a lot of attention considering the impact of the statement. It is all about words, well, actually not words, more images, more images. And there have been so many of these UFS stories over the last couple of years, and it's continued into twenty twenty five. I know we're already into the last weekend in May, and it's going to be in before we know it, we're going to be into

June and all that. Well, scientists, and this comes from the world of I think this is in South America, Columbia, Columbia, a UFO researcher with a ominous message to the rest of the world, and they have new information as scientist, a neuroscientists and researcher of Unidentified Aerial Phenomena UAP trying to figure out whether that's more upsetting or Major League Baseball getting rid of the disabled list for the injury list as opposed to just what it had been, which

seems ridiculous me and the Unidentified Aerial Phenomena UAP, which has replaced UFO. So I get to the point, please. So scientists in Columbia recovered a mysterious spear shaped object that many believe is a piece of UFO technology. And so we're in this weird period, this time space thing, where there's stories coming out trying to numb us down about this that and the other thing, about some kind of random visit by so and so, goblins and lizard people, whatever,

these different stories out. So anyway, this scientist, this neuroscientist who studies how humans think and also attended a congressional hearing on UAPs better known as UFOs, and what did all that? One of the mistakes, according to this scientist, one of the mistakes we make is saying, because I think I understand this, everything I think today is true. That was the argument. Now let's get to the meat

of the matter here. So let's get to that spear in Columbia, and they're looking at this thing, they're analyzing it, and they said there is a direct connection to the video and also the metal object. There was a video of this thing flying around apparently, and the so called UFO was originally spotted in March and it was zigging and zagging through the sky and it defied all movement conventional aircraft can make.

Speaker 2

Well.

Speaker 1

The story here, though, is what's on the spear. It's not one thing. They have the spear, an item that they didn't really know how it was able to move like that, But the spirit displays symbols and the team compared the writing on the sphere to ancient scripts, including the ruins in various places, the ancient things that are

left from previous societies back in the day. And they used AI to assist in deciphering the design, and they interpreted the message to read the origin of birth through union and energy is the cycle of transformation meeting point of unity, expansion and consciousness, individual consciousness. So they interpreted that to mean a message to humanity encouraging a collective shift in the consciousness to help mother Earth. So they've

determined that the aliens are environmentalists. That's what it sounds like to me, right, They're like, Hey, we need to clean up the oceans. We need to clean everything up, and you have to stop pollution into all that. So shouldn't they be sending those orbs rather than the US, which spends a lot of time and resources to clean up the environment. Shouldn't they be sending those I don't know, China or India, which we are told are saying screw you. And it's all about the cold, it's all about that

auction action boss and all that stuff. So anyway, that's the latest on that. And there were a couple other stories that I thought were worthy of mentioning. According to a report out of Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, of Vladimir Putin, one of his one of his minions, Vladimir Putin has figured out a way, figured out a way to brainwash toddlers.

Speaker 2

What.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's the that's the story. And then they're making a big making a big deal about it. Now that's the headline. Anyway, here's the thing. Is it really a big deal? Aren't kids in general? I don't know about toddlers, I don't know about that young, but just in general, I know being around being a kid and then being

around kids, they're so influenced by commercials. If they watch you know, television, or if they're on the on the internet, on the YouTube which have those little ten second commercials and all that stuff. So of course, like, do you really need to take credit and say, oh, we have figured out Vatamir Plutin his guy has figured out how exactly to brainwash kids. Again, I'm like, okay, it's not that hard. It just give them candy, give them cookies, let them know they can play with some game they

want to do. But anyways, putin guy. He apparently got it all all figured out, all all figured out, no question about it. The propagandas are finding a way to brainwash toddlers and then bragging about it. We'll get out on that. Have a wonderful weekend here. We'll have episodes dropping on Saturday and Sunday. Danny g putting all of this together over the weekend, and we'll be back in La La Land on Sunday. From Vancouver here back to La for a full week of new shows. Very exciting

that'll be coming up on Sunday. Sunday, Sunday, have a wonderful, wonderful rest of your Friday. We will talk to you next time. Got a murder I gotta go,

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