Kubbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard starts right now.
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour, the Extra Country, Extra Spicy Fifth Hour with Me big Man and Danny g Radio as we are with you every single weekend, and a happy Sunday to you. It's the seventh day of July today and the end of the holiday weekend. Although is it the end of the holiday weekend, because, to tell the truth, a lot of people just kind of coast the next couple of weeks July. The weather's good. Not a lot of work getting done here, not a
lot of work getting done. But we've got on this podcast a lot of mail, Danny, a lot of mail. I was concerned because of the holiday weekend that we wouldn't have a lot of mail, but fortunately a lot of mail. Are you ready, Ohio, al are you ready, Danny for the mail bag.
No time to spare.
It's okay, thank you, ohiou, and let's jump right into it.
We'll go into the deep end. These are actual letters by actual listeners. I used to post on social media and beg people to send stuff in, but the podcast is doing so well now I don't need to do that anymore.
Thank you.
I'm very happy. It's like when I used to do the lame jokes thing, when I started doing same jokes on the radio show, and I would beg people to send the lame jokes in. But now we've cultivated a big enough audience of amateur joke writers, I don't need to worry about that. And the same thing goes for this podcast, and that we have enough new people that find the podcast because of you spreading the words, spreading the gospel, that we don't have to post for questions.
So that's geat really quick. Let me ask you, if Lizo is so beautiful, why do women get mad anytime I tell them that they look like Lizzo. That's a good point. Shout out, Jeff Die. I thought you were going to say lame jokes are on Friday. Yeah no, no, lame.
Jokes are every day. What are you talking about anyway? All right, here we go. First one on the mailbag is Marcus from Bruceville, Eddie, Texas, a regular email contributor. He says, thanks for taking the question. Great show, as always, gentlemen, I always wanted to know how it works behind the scenes. Whenever guys on Dan Patrick or Colin Cowherd DoD they just fill in for the radio station or for the
TV show as well. I remember one Colin Cowherd show, Doug and Rob Parker had filled in for Colin and they were arguing about every single topic. It was absolutely hilarious. I don't know Rob Parker's Tom Brady is a cheater, take, etc. So I decided to switch over to the Cowherd TV show, expecting to see both of them on there going at it, and there was somebody in their place on the TV show, So then I turned back to the radio show and
they continue to argue for the next forty five minutes. So, yeah, if you haven't figured out, Marcus, I've done those shows over the years, and we are v boating. We are mere peons, we are mere radio people, Danny, and so they do not allow us to get near those TV.
Cameras not allowed. We completely have faces for radio. Yeah.
Would also like to point out though, and this is a little bit taboo. That's a third rail. Oh man, that's a third rail. But I'm proud of this, my man.
The overall rating's gonna go down a full point on the podcast.
My man, I'm proud of this because we're audio guys, and everyone wants to do what we're doing here for a living. Danny, infect I just saw this week that Marshawn Lynch is launching a podcast with Gavin Newsom, the Weasley Snake, Governor of California. So everyone wants to do audio content.
I know.
It makes no sense to me.
I don't know.
But is it true that Colin Cowherd radio and TV and Dan Patrick radio and TV, their audience is ten times as large on radio and audio content only as opposed to television. A little birdie tells me that may or may not be true, Danny, that there are many more people consuming the cow Herd brand and the Dan Patrick brand on the radio that on television.
Radio rules.
Yeah, as much as people try to kill it, it's much like a cockroach in the building. It will not go away, will not go away. We were trying to figure out the other day, and I think we talked about this on the show a while back. How many generations of cockroaches have come through the building because it was originally a Danny.
Yes, you'd have to figure out when the Denny's closed.
Yeah, So Fox Sports Radio took over that building in the late like ninety nine. They started building Fox Sports Radio in two thousand, the building that we're in now.
Do you know in the early nineties I ate at the Denny's here when my family was visiting this part of LA I remember the parking and walking in off the street. So it's a flashback that I have sometimes whenever I'm walking on the street outside.
Well, here's a fun, fun factory the American cockroach, which is what these are. These are American cockroaches. The lifespan of an American cockroaches up to that's a weasel term, up to three years. So think let's do the math on this. So this place Denny's was there before. Well, we're not going to count Denny's. Fox Sports Radio in that building. The studio opened late two thousand. I was
there when they launched it. Actually, it might have been early two thousand and one when they launched the building. We had other studios before then. So let's do the math home.
Let me do the great great grandparent. Cockroaches were here when the Denny's was closing.
Let's try to use some nuance this like it was in America. So three times let's see here.
Three can't believe we're doing cockroach calculating.
Yeah, yeah, okay, so three times eight that is yeah, eight generations of cockroaches. So that's like going back eight hundred years. It is as like going back eight hundred years. You think these generations tell stories about back of the old days. This used to be a Denny's. We had all the food we wanted. We were lived like kings here when this was a Denny's. And now now we have to scrub for these cheap radio bastards and the food they bring.
We have a cheap vending machine with stale chips.
Well, thank you, Marcus, And I know, yeah you did. Was it the Dan Patrick Show this week that you were doing? Is that what you were doing this week? Yeah?
Last week we did Monday through Thursday the Dan Slam, four days in a row of the Dan Patrick Morning Show. Okay, and they did not allow us on Peacock.
I interested, Splendid Daddy writes and from Leesburg, Alabama, Daddy, and the Splendid Daddy says, with all the sausage talk in recent episodes of the radio show, I have a question for the mailbag. This refers to two well known people, I suppose, he says, Anthony Wiener, former US REP from New York, and David Pecker, former CEO of American Media. If you had to change your last name and you only had two choices, Splendid Daddy says, Pecker or Wiener,
which would you choose? This is for both of you, gentlemen, it says, so Splendidaddy. I think this one is easy. I think the Wiener is the softer of the term. I like the extended Wiener. The Pecker is a more offensive version of that. So if you had to choose, you'd go with the Wiener.
That's a great lineage though, with the woody the woodpecker.
Yeah no, yeah, you could say something like that.
Well, the worst one out there. And you've probably seen this clip. It's gone viral even again recently, especially on Instagram. The clip of your boy on Love Connection. What was that host him, Chuck Woolery.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Remember he introduces the guy that went out on the date and his last name is if you want to say it in French, fagot. Okay, but he doesn't say it that way. He says it the way where you'd be canceled if you said that word right now.
Oh okay. That there was a player at Florida State that his name I believe was pronounced like a cigarette in Europe.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about, fat goo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the way.
To say it in French. So we don't get in trouble. Yeah.
Now, the most famous person from Leesburg, Alabama is Lindy Hood. Do you know who that is? Lindy Hood? No, she's from the hood. She was a college basketball player, so EDDI probably knows who she?
Who she was or he?
Rather, it's a It was a guy, James, James, James, Lindy Hood was his name. He played college basketball at Alabama.
This is it a he or she? I feel like you're talking about the Olympics right now.
Well, this is this guy. He's been dead for a while, but it was James Marcus Lindy Hood. Yeah, nickname. His nickname came during his playing days with Alabama. During a trip to New Orleans to play Tulane. As he entered a hotel lobby, a crowd mystic hood for Charles Lindbergh, and thus the nickname Lindy, as in Lindburg was given to him. So huh, okay, that did not think that would come up in the conversation. But at the Leesburg, Alabama, now if you're named Lindy, they think yeah. Kevin in
Kansas writes into the mail bag. He says, dear Ben and Danny g Recently on an Olympic swimmer accepted a proposal from her boyfriend even as she was dripping wet from her qualifying race. With Valentine's Day only a little over two hundred days away. I figured I would ask Kevin and Kansas says, to have you, gentlemen, share your proposal stories. Maybe you could play my heart will go on in the background things. Well, very romantic of you, Kevin to want to know how we propose.
Can't play licensed music on podcasts, unfortunately, Yeah, I gotta pay a lot of money for Yeah, we could sing it in the background though. Yeah.
So I proposed to my now wife right outside the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, I believe is what that venue is called. That is in Los Angeles, downtown Los Angeles, right near Grand Avenue. But the street we were on was Hope Avenue because you got to have Hope. And if you're not familiar with the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, it's a famous location, goes back to the nineteen sixties in Hollywood. They've had many, many big award shows back in the day.
This says karaoke version. Am I allowed to play that?
Yeah, I think we're fine. Why not. I won't tell anybody. If you don't tell anybody, right.
It's not even the same original instruments, it's like fake one, so it'll think it matters. Yeah.
So the Academy Awards were held is Dorothy Chandler Pavilion from the sixties to the eighties and then occasionally in the nineties, and then that was it. They moved somewhere else. But I proposed there's a bunch of fountains out in front of that, and I proposed to my I got on a knee and I proposed to my wife, and then we went Nate Garlic at the Stink and Rose. So that's that's how that went. What about you, Danny.
I looked at my girl, I looked her right in the eyes, and I said, you want to go half on a baby? Hey?
You know who I am?
Come on wait. That was the second date Disneyland. It's her thing, it's her jam. She's a seasoned pass holder, so I knew I had to do it there. I got boot socks because I had to figure out a way to carry the ring, knowing that it was attached and not, you know, going to fall out on a ride or something like that. Couldn't have the bulky ring holder in my pocket either, so I hid it in the long boot sock. All day I was trying to
look for the perfect opportunity to pop the question. It was a really fun day there at the park, but there was no privacy. Anytime I got somewhere in the park where there wasn't a huge crowd, some boso would like walk right over by where we were. I had to keep resetting, like, okay, well I'll try it later, I'll try it again later. We are waiting in line for the Indiana Jones ride, famous for breaking down all
the time. Right before we get on the ride, sure enough, it breaks down, and they make an announcement that they're not sure how long it's going to take, so you could either stay in that line or you could leave. You can get on these elevators and leave the ride. My chick looks at me and she says, I think I'm gonna vomit. Well, damn if this isn't romantic right now. We get out of there, and I'm thinking this night
is ruined. But we go over to like the Princess Ride, and we get on there and it's like snow white and all the princesses and all that. And we get off and there's a little private area right as you're exiting that ride, and I pushed her into the corner there, got on my knee and gave her the ring dah. She said no and said go ahead, And they wound up working out perfect because right in front of the castle there, they have professional photographers who are always taking
pictures of people in front of the castle. So she got to do a little mini photoshoot with her ring right there in front of the castle that was all lit.
Up and now every time you see that castle, you flash back, you get away from me. Mike from the South Bay rights and he says, hey, Ben and Danny, I saw this week that the Clippers owner Steve Balmer is now richer than Bill Gates. How is this going to affect your clippers? Benny? Well, Mike, it won't affect the Clippers because Steve Balmer. I think he's now the sixth richest person in the world, Steve Balmer, or at least the US, I think I read that this week.
Yeah, in the US.
Okay, to the US. But it doesn't I mean, it doesn't matter because he's he was already rich, and he's just going to keep blowing money on basketball players that are malingering and steal his money and don't show up in playoff games and all that stuff. But at least he won't be drafting the kid of any of his players. I don't believe so got good energy though. Now he's got a great arena, the taj Mahal of arenas opening
up in the hood in Inglewood. A j from Phoenix writes and he says, Ben Halupsett was Eddie and ferg Dog or Eddie rather when Ferg Dog ran the board on Mallard's Mountain of Money this week. Yeah, I don't know. I mean Eddie, Eddie Fane's anger.
Wait, why was Ferg Doug running the board?
He dominated the game.
I thought he was physically visiting you in the studio, ran on the board like Iowa Sam used to do for two weeks now.
He does not leave Brian Finley's home, fer Dog, he does not. But Fergie did a great job. He got all five questions. Right. Here's the thing. Let me let you in a little secret behind the curtain here, behind
the factory, how we make the sausage jay. So Eddie carries himself like the last bastion of purity, right, that he's pure and innocent, and that I'm somehow the evil, and he's got the integrity on the show and all this stuff, right, all this nonsense, and he's he is the moral compass of the show, that he's got the governing principles and all that, and when in reality, I'm the one that follows the code of ethics. I'm the one that's on the moral high ground here. It's not Eddie.
Eddie colors outside the lines all the time. In fact, Eddie is often guilty Jay of what I call stolen valor. He claims it's a military term, but I'll steal it. He claims awards and badges that he did not earn. He has cheated multiple times on the show. Listeners have caught him cheating. He sometimes the mic he doesn't realize is off.
He says something, you are the one who got caught cheating on.
So I've got the all time wins on these game shows, Danny, I'm the wins king. I have more wins than anybody. A domination situation. And then Eddie's like, oh, I'm the one that No, you're not okay. So he was a little upset.
He was up.
He was claiming there was some funny business. There was no funny business going on at all. It was a great win. Good job by Fergie. Way to go. Although he didn't send an email in this week for the mailbag, bad job by him. Dave from Portland rights in, uh, this is an odd one. He says he has a swimming pool. I don't think a lot of people in Portland have swimming pools, do they do? Anythink Portland's a big swimming pool area. Kind of cool overcast.
Yeah, I wouldn't think so. Anyway, he says he he really got nice summers, but their summers are short.
Yeah, he said that. He said there's only gonna be sixty thousand. He read there's gonna be sixty thousand in ground pools installed constructed this year. He says he's a pool guy. He's says that's half as many as twenty twenty one. So he says, are we nearing the end of the inground pool? Now? Let me ask you a question, Dave, Why the why the f would you send that question to this show? Like, are you just like messing orders?
Are we being punked here? But I will, I will only say this, and I don't know much about in ground pools. But I do know because when I moved into the original Malord mansion. When I moved back, I thought about putting a pool in, and then I looked at how much it costs to put an inground pool in a house.
Do you know how much it costs Danny thirty thousand.
Before the pandemic, you could put an inground pool in for about forty thousand dollars. Okay, Now, when I did some investigating, this was during the pandemic. I did some again. It was at fifty thousand dollars. Now it is sixty five and beyond sixty five thousand and beyond the get in price for a small piece of crap in ground pool sixty five thousand dollars.
Wow.
So I would say, Dave, that is why they're not constructing a lot of in ground pools, because it is a bougie bougie bougie thing, and it's expensive enough to if you're able to buy a house, and then to add an extra seventy eighty thousand dollars, and then you have to have the maintenance on top of that.
Good luck. Man Trump should add this to his talking points. I will make pools affordable again. Everyone wells and millions and billions of pools.
I will get a pool for Joe Biden so he can forget where the pool is and walk away, all right. Avery in Vegas Rights, and Avery in Vegas says, Hey, Ben, is Danny g invited to the big Malor Meet and Greet in Vegas? You should bring him along. This is from Avery. So Danny, we did mention this in a previous episode of this podcast. But the Malor Meet and
greet is coming up. It's less than a month away now, as today is the seventh day of July, August third, August third, three o'clock till five o'clock in Sin City, We're gonna get the stakeout Bar and Grill forty eight hundred South Maryland Parkway, right near you, NLV. You are invited, Danny, if you can make it.
I would love to go. I would love to go. But who came up with this date?
This was a date that worked out for everyone on the show.
We end to day. This was the date everyone but me. That is Coa's first birthday weekend.
Oh well, take take him to the casino, take a gambling. Come on, what little kid doesn't want to go gambling.
Happy first birthday to you. Here's a cigar for you. I remember my first first spot over here, you girl, Happy first birthday to you.
Yeah, I've seen cole Man. He's like an adult already. Come on, he's got a man's body, he's all grown.
That's a fair point.
He's like the kid from Roger Rabbit. He's smoking cigars there, just doing his thing. When I was I was a kidd, my first birthday, we wore bell bottoms we got. I got new bell bottoms.
For my first birthday.
There, very very exciting. But it sounds to me Avery that Danny will not be there, but he'll be there in spirit. Yeah, and I know the rain is going to be there. She's very excited. She wanted us to do like a dance routine. I tried to tell her that's not what we do. God Coop will be there, Eddie will be there, I will be there. Avery will be there, and so we'll have a great time. And I have gotten some messages from people that say they're traveling from very far away, different time zones to come
to the mallor meet and greet in Vegas. And I always put a caveat on that. Danny, I say, well, I'll believe it when I see it, because a lot of people say that and then something comes up and they can't make it, and then that that's it.
So but thank you.
What is next? We have Pierre who is sent from Springfield, Mass Tips on pumping gas. This it's very important. These are these are tips little life hacks on pumping gas.
This sounds like the local news teaching you how to stay cool during the summer.
Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Here's though this was interesting. I didn't know this. It says only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning hours.
Talked about this on your live overnight show back in the day during our gasoline war, when we argued about putting Supreme in and you said it was a waste of money. But they're a scam. There's certain engines though that need the Supreme gasoline scam. No, you don't have a hot rod, so you would know all a scam.
I know.
See. The thing is the heat causes pressure. There's a problem with putting gas in when it's hot. You want to put gas in when it's really cool outside.
That is correct. Yes, the storage tanks are buried below the ground, and when the ground is cold, there's more dense the gasoline. When it gets warmer, the gasoline expands. So buying gas on a hot summer afternoon or in the evening, your gallon is not exactly a gallon, so
you're actually getting screwed one degree. A one degree rise in temperature, As our friend Pierre passes on to us, a one degree rise in temperature is a big deal in that business for the service station, and they do not have temperature compensation at the pump, So it's kind of like going to McDonald's and getting the super sized fry and then they don't fill it up all the way to the top.
That kind of thing exactly. Yeah.
They also say when you're filling up, do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look, you will see that the trigger has three stages, low, middle, and high. You should be pumping on low mode, thereby minimizing the vapors that are created while you are pumping.
All hoses at the pump have a vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some of the liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapor and those vapors are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank, so you're getting less gas, less value for your money.
You'll catch the vapors.
Yeah, I thought that was That was interesting And let's see here says another reminder. If there's a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stopped by gas, do not fill up. Most likely the gasoline is being stirred up as the gas is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settle in the bottom.
Correct and a buddy of mine in northern California he still drives oil trucks and he's one of the guys who delivers the gasoline to the stations. He told me the gas that is the ripoff is the middle grade, because what they would have him do is take the cheap gas and the expensive gas and mix a little bit of the expensive into the cheap. And that was the middle grade. So the middle grade is actually the one that's the rip.
Now you just need the lowest grade. I think it's all anything other than the lower grade. The eighty seven grade is a rip dirty though Costco doesn't even sell the mid grade.
They only said go with the dirty. He said, go with the cheapest or the most expensive. Don't go in the middle.
Is it eighty seven and ninety one and then eighty nine is the middle is out?
It's different in all states because yeah, some states allow less quality gas.
My final fun fact on gas and I never do this and I should do is one of the most important tips to fill up your tank when it's half full. The reason you fill up your tank when it's half full is there's less air occupying the empty space. Gasoline evaporates faster than you can imagine, and so if you fill it up halfway, you minimize the evaporation, and therefore you end up getting a better deal.
Yeah, and when you play gas roulette the way we do all the time, your car is sucking up that dirt and grime at the bottom of your tank, and that's going through your engine, and you want to try to avoid that.
I can't tell you how many times I have done the Russian Roulette with the gas where I'm rolling. One time, I was in Pasadena. I was coming down the hill in Pasadena and I'm trying to find a gas station. They all close in Pasadena, there's nothing near you know, inside there's very few gas stations open all night. So I'm rolling down the hill past multiple gas stations that are all closed. I'm like, am I gonna make it? Am I gonna have to call a tow truck?
And then, oh man, it's the worst feeling ever.
Yeah, it was. It's pretty wild, pretty pretty wild, all right. I think we'll get out on that Danny, right, Why not? That's a good way to end the festivity.
Yeah. Man, It's like we ran out of gas.
There's a bombom. I ready to bring the gas.
Bum bum bob.
I'll be here till Thursday. Oh wait, it's Sunday. I'm fired. You fired.
I moved back tonight. It is not a full week for me this week. Though, it's not a full week for me this week.
Yeah, man, I hear you're getting on an airplane.
I'm getting on the Big Bird, my last scheduled, rare and appropriate time off. Now I will be in tonight and I'll be in tomorrow night on the show. But then I have been mandated by my marriage to take some time off, some well deserved time off. Try to get that in before football season. That's grandfathered into my mind because in the old days at Fox Sports Radio, we were never allowed to take vacation. They didn't want us to take vacation during football season. So even now,
it's like, you gotta get it in. Football starts late July. Get that last vacation in before before that. So I'll be in a couple nights this week, and then I'll be off for a few nights, traveling the world on the Big Bird, going to an exotic tropical location. But I'll be in tonight and.
You Danny Nice and we will be picking up where we left off from Afternoon Drive with Covino and Rich at least for Monday afternoon and then Tuesday. Tuesday morning, we're going to be filling in on the East coast. It's the middle of the day for the Great Colin Cowherd, who we talked about earlier. Was it this podcast? I don't know, they all, I don't.
It's all the same. It's audio content. I don't even know.
No, it's this. It was this one because it was a question about do they let us on TV? Oh yeah, yes, no, so we get to use Colin Cowherd's radio only studio. There will be no TV cameras in there because they said we're too ugly.
Can you explain to me why they still have the instruction keep out clothes sign up around the Cowhertz studio when it's done. They've already finished it. I don't understand that. It makes no sense to me. I'd like to know why. What is there agenda there?
They don't want any lookie lose sticking their heads in there. That's all.
I still walk in there. I don't give a crap. I'll walk through there. I'm a rebel. I have a rebel. I am such a radio loser. Anyway, have a wonderful rest of your Sunday. Thanks for listening all weekend, and will hitch it tonight.
Yeah in the radio. Hope you had a beautiful long holiday weekend. Later, skater got a murder. I gotta go.