Cut booms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere.
The Fifth Hour with Me, Big Ben and Danny g Radio Happy Saturday Too. It's the twenty seventh day of July, the last Saturday of July, and one week the one week marker before the Malor Meet and Greet, the Great Mallard Meet and Greet. We're doing Vegas, Baby, We're doing Vegas coming up a week from today. Danny will not be able to attend, but everyone else from the Overnight Show.
Will be Boom boom.
August third, three to five.
Who chose this date for next weekend? I gotta know, Well, we.
Were considering a couple of other dates, but we wanted to go in It's as hot as possible in Vegas, and so we determine that August third. It'll be one hundred and forty degrees there, so that's why we're going. We want to go when it's as hot as it possibly can be in Vegas. But it's give me a lot of fun. All the details on social media you want to come out, but I'll just run by some of them, so they're in the back of your head. Stake Out Bar and Grill forty eight hundred South Maryland
Parkway near UNLV. Slug is the hostess with the most. It's always a listener that hosts these things because I don't do the legwork on these things, and so I like Slug. Yeah, good Slug, A good friend of the show. He's hosting this. He found the location of the venue and he'll be there and a bunch of other big fans of the show will be on hand. So that's
coming up. Eddie Coop Lorena will be there schmooze from three to five, probably longer than that, but if no one shows up, I'm outither at five o'clock, but I assume there'll be a lot of people there, so I'll probably stay a longer than that. And then, as always with these Mallard meet and greets, a lot of the fans, depending on your location, age and all that, have after parties, which normally, like you've been at some of these, Danny.
The one in Southern which involved them going up to the room to smoke weed, I think was the last one in Southern California, but who knows what allegedly.
I think I got secondhand smoke that time.
Yeah, they were, they were definitely enjoying themselves. Today's National Scotch Day, so celebrate you, big Scotch guy. I think we've talked about Scotch on this show, and I think you said you're.
Not a Scotch. No, I'd rather have a Guinness.
Is it anchorman? Where he talked about Scotch, was it Scotch?
He was talking, Yeah, yes, I love Scotch. Scotch, Scott perfect.
Look at that. All right, Well, here we go, Here we go, we go. I've got rocket scientist, black Sheep, racist, and we've got Zigzag Big Pop goes to the culture, the idiom of the week. So there's a lot to get to, but we'll start with this. This past week.
I didn't talk about this on the on the actual Overnight show, but sitting right to my left in studio was someone who had never heard the show, someone who had no idea about the show, but yet was given the VIP treatment, invited to sit in studio while I did my monologues in the entire show. Now, who do you think invited this person to Fox Sports Radio? What do you think? Who do you think it was?
I'm gonna say Lorena.
No, not Lorena, No, no, no one more. Guess who do you think of? Who think is this person came in there? I've only seen the person a couple of times in my life in the past.
Oh, it's got to be Coop. Then hey, no, it was my wife.
Yeah, hey, why do you go sit in with Ben on one of the shows?
No, it's like make a wish.
You know. So this guy's actually my cousin. He's a good dude, young guy. He's twenty four years old, so he's very young for us, Danny, we're getting older.
But there he was.
And he's way too smart, way too So I have a lot of really smart people in my family. I am the dummy, right I am. I'm kind of a I know, you'll talk about the black sheep. I'm kind of a black sheep of the family. But this guy graduated from Colombia. You've heard about Columbia, right, New York kind of a big deal. It's no great institutions of academia. I don't know about their politics and all that, but
but he graduated from there. He actually got a job as a rocket science He literally was a rocket scientist. And so I told in a previous episode that my cousins from Arizona, who are in their late eighties, came out to southern California and they like the last minute, like, hey, let's have a big dinner. Well, Miles is staying in southern California in the area. He's like in Glendale or whatever. So he came down to the dinner. But I really have only spent time with Miles twice in my life.
That dinner, and then there was like one other time when he was much younger and probably doesn't remember, and I barely remember. But yet we're at dinner and the wife's like, oh, yeah, Ben does a radio show. You should go in and hang out with him sometime. So he showed up and he stayed and I told him, you know, you know, Danny, it's having a studio audience is a little awkward when you're not used to having a studio audience.
That's its radio, but like Lindor of the Mets, sometimes it's inspirational and you play better.
Yeah, that that that could could happen. I could that could could have it. So so I'm sitting there and I'm like, you know, TV there's a lot of people around, but radio there's not. You know, it's usually just the people you're used to, and that's it. And so I thought, well, he'll probably stay for like an hour. He'll stay there for an hour and then he'll be bored because he's not a sports guy's not really he's into like he's at this weekend. He's at the comic book convention in
San Diego. Comic con nerd.
Yeah, he's a nerd.
I mean a very smart nerd. So I mean he's he's really into it. Like I'm good for him. I mean, he loves that world. And he was trying to show me some anime stuff and I've completely foreign to me. But fine, So he's in San Diego for the comic con thing, and I mean I thought he'd say it for an hour and then at the hour thing, you know, my move Danny was, Hey, you know, if you can leave whenever you want. You don't have to stay. You know you're not you're not. I'm not forcing you to
stay here. So no, I'll stay. You know, see I'm having a good time. So he stayed. And then after hour two, all right, you know, if you want to leave, I know it's getting late.
You know, you get here's your parking ticket.
Yeah, here's a validation. Yes, he actually parked out on Ventura Boulevard. So I said, make sure you don't get shanked, but or your car gets stolen. And then I said, you know, this is the stolen car capital of LA. I gave him that fun fact about our studios because it's right here with a four O five and the one on one meet and so it's the leader of car carter theft there right there. Anyway, he ended up staying the whole night, and I had a good time. It was nice, you know, it was good to see
him and all that. And I think he worked for like NASA's he was laid off, but he did have a job at NASA. They had a mass layoff thing. But very smart guy and he's he's gonna get back. He's literally a rocket science that's his gig.
So you know, how to get your wife back, you need to invite somebody to sit in with her at her nine one one job. Yeah.
Yeah. The difference is she'd probably be cool with it. I you know what I mean. She'd be like, oh, that's great. You know, that's wonderful of show.
Mora.
We'll give a vip tor. I'm like, uh, you know, like I don't mind. Like when when listeners come in, usually what I'll do is I'll have them sit with like Coop and Lorraine or whatever, and then they'll come in a little bit with me. That's a normal thing. That's that's a comfort thing for me. Like we had Sean the Hood guy in, We've had Spaccoli, A bunch of people have been in over the years. Normally they'll come in, man, I'm actually on the live air, yes,
helmet man. But they'll sit in the other room and then they'll come in for a little bit. But since this guy was my cousin, I felt like I had no choice. I had to keep him in there the whole time. So I kept him in there the whole time.
He was your responsibility, and I'm squirmy exactly.
I Coop didn't know who he was and Loraina had no idea who he was, and so anyway, it was it was awkward. And but that's what I get because I'm the black sheep, but I'm not the only black sheep.
Danny g Yeah, I mean I mentioned before I took last weekend off that the in laws camp once a week in beautiful Moro Bay, California, where there is the famous rock in Three Stacks.
I love Morro Bay.
The Three Smoke Stacks nuclear power place. Yes, right next to the beautiful What it was It was part of a volcano, right, Yes, a big rock there.
We determined that's left over from a volcano.
Yeah, and it's fogged in most of the time. Some people travel there and they're like, there's no damn rock because the fog will cover it up a lot of the time. So we get there and we're gonna spend a couple of days there, and then we drove up to Monterey, California, up the coast to visit with my mom and some of my family, which was cool to see them. We get a hotel, though, Ben, this was a veteran move because they could camp all they want. But when you have a one year old brute who
rolls around his bed. There's no way that kid could sleep inside a tent. I go, yeah, all right, so we did get a hotel, so it wasn't It wasn't exactly camping for us. Our move was spend good time with the family, sit around the campfire, tell stories, eat some bad camp food, and then oh the baby, he's tired. We got to get him back to the hotel.
I think that was what show was that years ago. The greatest excuse is having a kid, right, you can get any Sure, you got a kid, it's per So I got the kid. I can't go. You gotta leave early. I got the kid.
Hey, let's be real. It's one of the reasons I agreed to have a kid because I was so jealous of my coworkers always getting out of work early, getting extra days off, extra time off because the kid, their kid, the kid. And I'm like, man, this isn't fair. Just because I don't have a kid, I have to stay
later and work extra. So yeah, I finally have this out now, Especially with in laws like that, it's you know, it's cool to visit for a couple of hours, but then when the day starts winding down and that that really cold front comes in there in the bay. Then it's like, okay, we got to take the baby to the warmth of the hotel room. So a nice go to move. Now there's one black sheep in my better half's family, and let me flash you back to Maui
a couple of years ago. This guy has a track record with not just his family and her family, but mine as well, because the night before the wedding we had our dinner at the Monkey Pod restaurant. You probably have seen one or two of those your time on the islands. There is this is my wife's younger brother. He's a drinker, Ben. And when I say drinker, there's that fine line, like when he has a few beers, he's cool and he's fun to talk to and everything.
Once he starts going with the hard liquor, he crosses that line and he becomes a demon.
He goes from the Mary Poppin's drunk, which is nicer and happier, and then he becomes what's the one mister Hyde where you get everer and hostile and all that.
It's funny because our oldest kid said, you know, when he's sober, he's a dick. When he drinks some beer, he's nice and he's and then when he drinks the hard liquor, he's a dick again. So it's kind of his range of emotions. He comes into the dinner drunk, I am not fucking drunk, and we're like, oh man, let the fireworks begin. He is talking shit to everyone. The waitress comes to take our order. He tells the waitress,
this is his last night as a free man. Give him a lap dance, right now, give him a lap dance. And my soon to be wife is now very embarrassed about her brother and go down sit at the other end of the table, and again he's torturing the waitress.
Can you see he needs a lap dance? Did he think he was at a strip club? Not sure? Fisting fireball whiskey?
Yeah, I mean we weren't far from the bar, and the waitress did have some big hooters, so maybe he was confused about where he was. But you know, now, the good part about this, he pissed everybody off. My family that was there. They actually got a kick out of him. It was like people watching it drunk people watching, But he got very belligerent because everybody kept asking him to move down and sit at a different part of the table because of how loud and obnoxious he was being. Finally,
he gets up and he mumbles something drunkly. He stumbles to the front Postess. It turns out Ben at the end of the night, we asked the waitress for the check. She then explains to us before he stumbled out of there, he paid the bill. Okay, that's a good thing, hundreds and hundreds of dollars, and he took out drunkenly took out his cash. Yeah, I guess he got some money here. We were all a little worried because he was on foot. We're like, where's he at, where's he at? We're calling
his phone, it's going to voicemail. Turns out he was trying to find the beach because he thought he could sleep it off. He walked the other way up the hill, passes out, loses his phone and his glass. Wakes up the next morning and there is a Honda like a rental place across the street from where he collapsed that rented mopeds. So he got a moped and rode back to the hotel. So this is the guy we're dealing with now, and at camping, we're like, oh, what's he
going to do? What's this guy gonna do? All right? So we, uh, the third day we were there, we were all going to take a little trip to Kayukas. You ever been to Kayukas?
I have.
It's this cool little beach town that's just north of Moro Bay, and they got a pier and like a little main street of shops and restaurants. Pretty cool spot, especially if you love seafood and the whole. Yeah, cool spot. Yeah, next time you're in that area, just go north on the one and you'll you'll find it Kayukas. Everybody was like, don't tell Brenda's brother, don't tell him that we're gonna all meet there at the pier, because they didn't want
him and his family ruining a good time. Man, this is a little rude and strange because we are we gonna pretend like we didn't go there to that town, and he's back at the camp by himself. So they all kind of slid out because he was at the beach with his surfboard and stuff and his family was on the sand. That's when everybody got in their cars and went to Cayukis. So we're all on the pier and then who do we see at the start of the pier. There he is Ben and he's holding a forty.
I started drinking at six am, oh man.
And his family's right behind him. He holds his forty up. Fuck yeah, somebody texted somebody and his family and spilled the beans about where we were all at that day, and there he comes drinking. Disappeared at one point when we were on the little main street. Turns out he was in one of the restaurants at their bar getting some more drinks.
Wow, good times. Did he bring a cooler with him? He must have brought a cooler with a cooler?
Are you kidding? He has this special It's almost like the size of two coolers put together, and it stays in the back of his truck. He is a professional drinker.
He's a functioning alcoholic. Would be would that be the way you were describing?
Well? In his defense, he's a truck driver by trade, and so he says that when he really blows off steam is once or twice a year when he's on vacation, because obviously he can't be drinking or smoking when he's driving his big.
Rig Jesus Chrish coming. I've been busting my pickle day long.
I've been hold the money you're so concerned about. Okay, it just happens to coincide regularly.
With you with family functions.
Yes, wow, Okay, there you go. So I have you know, we'll turn the page on this. So I wanted to mention this briefly. I'm not going to get too deep into this because we have some great stories where you need to get to regard darting. Pop goes the culture, but these zigzag moves. So last weekend, in between my conversations with the Vegan, it was pretty hot here in the LA area, and we don't have a pool at
the Malor mansion, but my father in law does. And since he's pretty much relocated half the year to North Carolina, he's in Wilmington, North Carolina right now. So the house he still owns, the house on the west coast, it's just empty. And he happens to have a pool. We would go there in the summer and go swimming and hang out with him. He's not there. My wife was able to procure the pool. We've been going there semi regularly. It's like having our own pool. It's got to drive
forty minutes to get there. So whatever. Fine, So she calls my father in law and says, hey, can we go swimming at your house? I know you're not there. He says, sure, no problem. So we pack up the malamobile and we get in the car and we drive forty minutes in traffic to get there. We're all excited to go in the pool. We pull up to the house and there's this car that is not his car and not his wife's car, and a car with out of state plates on it that we've never seen before
that's parked the driveway. Like, what's going on? Somebody like breaking into the house or whatever. And then my wife's like, well, I think that's my cousin from Florida. But this is a guy that's much like you're in law there, Yanny, someone we try to avoid, you know, if we can, right, So we made a tactical decision, even though we'd driven all that way and we had our swim trunks on or our beach clothes or swimming clothes on. We decided to make a tactical move and we didn't even go
in the house. We got right there, stopped the car, and we zigzagged and we just went to the beach. We went to the beach instead, and I didn't go in the water because I don't go in the water in La beaches. I don't because they're disgusting. So I didn't go in the water. But yeah, didn't even go didn't even go in the pool because of this. Yeah. So and then we found out later here's the kicker.
We found out later that was the person we were trying to avoids car, but he had parked it there and he had flown to like somewhere in China, so he wasn't even there, so we could have gone in. It was decoy Yeah, decoy car. Hate that good show. Remember that show, Decoy Car. It was a good show.
What we're about to.
Do tonight is deploy car.
Decoy car?
Is that still?
I don't think.
So they just leave the car running and somebody get in and then I was trying to move the car.
I was.
Moved.
Yeah. They were trying to act like they were being a good Samaritan.
Yeah, my friend loaned me the car. Yeah, I was just helping them out. Yeah yeah, yeah, Okay, anyway, the idiom of the idiom off the week Now, the idiom of the week this week is from uh. Well, it's an old phrase that I first learned of with the movie The Godfather. Sleeping with the fishes.
Oh, this is a good one.
An infamous phrase from the iconic Godfather movies.
What the hell is this?
That's a silly message that means, lookal praus, he sleeps.
With the fishes. Godfather too, considered one of the top five movies of all time by many who are fans of the cinema. So someone when someone has been killed and disposed of in water. It is derived from the Sicilian message, meaning someone has been murdered and is now at the bottom of the sea. So they are sleeping with the fishes.
Yeah, the fishy was wrapped in the guy's bulletproof vest, remember.
Yeah, But they say that's an actual The Godfather didn't like make that up. They like to I'm not familiar with it, but they, according to what I what I saw on the dark web the other day, that this is an actual thing. This is an actual phrase, a Sicilian message.
So who knew?
Appairly that is the the case. All right, let's get to pop goes the culture.
John John.
In honor of the Olympics, which got started yesterday with.
The opening ceremonies Lebron James. So, the Olympics underway in Perie and other places around the world, including Tahiti where they're doing the surfing ten thousand miles away from from Paris. But it turns out that if you're looking for love at the Olympic Village and you happen to be looking for the same kind of love that you're your same gender, well you're you're not gonna have to worry because the people over at grinder Danny have blocked the Paris Olympic
Village from their search thing. I guess they have a search option on there, so you are not gonna be able to search that now is I don't know exactly why they're doing I would assume they're doing this because they're worried about athletes maybe being outed.
For being on there. That'd be why, I guess.
So, ah, the men enjoy me. You saw you saw the story about the cardboard beds.
No, I didn't see.
Yeah, they were like trying to discourage the athletes from having sex on their beds too. Much of it.
Oh well, I did see. They want this to be the greenest Olympics. And then but then they had to they planned the Olympic village with no air conditioning.
Yeah, what's that all about? It?
It's kind of hot. There's extreme temperatures in Paris that are an issue, and so they had to go out the last minute. This week, we talked about this on the Overnight Show and they had to order thousands of air conditioners for the Olympic village.
Yeah, I saw that. And then of course the three hundred thousand condoms. And on the boxes of condoms it says you don't have to be a gold medallist to wear one of these.
Oh yeah, I have a good It's all about marketing. It's all about marketing. Do you see this guy that was lost at sea for four hundred and thirty eight days few years ago was found and it was like a big story. He went and yeah, so the guy was lost at sea for over a year. He was found and during that trip, his crewmate died while they were out at sea. Lost at sea. Well, the guy who died's family is suing this guy for one million dollars. They're accusing him of cannibalism. There's a lot of meat.
That is a lot of meat. They think that he might have chowed down on the guy that died on the boat, the crew guy. You gotta eat, you gotta eat. Now, here's the odd part of the story, and the reason I'm bringing this up is that even if he had done that the way that the story has gone here, it likely would not have been illegal in that situation
because of the laws. And I don't quite understand exactly, but apparently if your life's endangered and that's the only way to survive, like, you're allowed to eat.
Someone dum me never heard that before.
That should have been Jeffrey Dahmer's You should have gone with that the day. Has there been another famous cannibal since Jeffrey Dahmer? Was he the last really famous cannibal? Yeah?
I think he's the last famous one.
Yep. So there's been there's probably some out there, but he's the he's the last one. He's the poster boy, he's the hero.
Yeah.
So that's an interesting.
Tal Well, you bring that up about the seed. Did you see the video that went viral of the whale hopping up onto the boat and flipping it over.
Rolling deep.
No.
Oh, yes, he was that in New Hampshire. Yes, yes, that's wild. I've been to New Hampshire. It's beautiful. You ever been in New Hampshire. It's awesome.
No, that's on my list though.
Portsmouth, New Hampshire is amazing, amazing place. Love it, love it, love it. But yeah, that's Do you think the boat Do you think the boat did something to the whale and that's why the whale got upset?
Yeah?
I have no idea either, but pretty pretty crazy. A Death Valley heat melts the skin off a guy's feet. The guy lost his flip flops. You see this story. Yeah, it is so hot. How hot is it? It'll melt your feet. Yeah. A European tourist, of course, melted the skin off his feet. He lost his flip flops in the sand dunes at the park out there in Death Valley. To make matters worse, the temperatures made the air too thin for a helicopter to fly in and help him.
Yoh, they broke records there recently.
Yeah. According to the National Park Service, the forty two year old Belgian tourist was taking a short walk Saturday in the Mesquite flat sand dunes. It was one hundred and twenty three degrees and he either put.
A nice cool day for the desert there.
He either broke or lost his flip flops, putting his feet in direct contact with the desert ground there, and he had third degree burns. The skin was melted off his foot. Oh wow, said The ground is much hotter than the actual temperature. So the ground can go from one hundred and seventy one hundred and eighty sometimes up to two hundred degrees. Wow, that's wild. Yeah walked he ever walked like on cement or concrete without shoes on on a really hot day.
Oh yeah, one of the worst feelings. You're hopping around and you're howling. I had an Audie back in the day, and I drove to Ridgecrest, California. Do you know where that is?
I do not.
It is not far from the Air Force base outside of the Palmdale.
Lancaster Palm Desert.
Yeah, so Ridgecrest is right next to the base. It was like seven thirty eight am. My appointment was eight am there. It had to do with a race radio thing. One of our offices, one of our sales offices for the Palmdale radio station was in Ridgecrest, So I get up early. I drive to the Ridgecrest office. Ben It's eight in the morning and it was already one hundred and five degrees. Oh god, it's so hot. Brian spit
on me. I go in there, I sign the papers, do the stuff with the sales team that's in that little town. I come out to my audi. My leather seats or the fabricated leather they used inside cars. It was literally melting spontaneously combust. I am sad.
That's wild man, Yeah, that's crazy. Do you have a sunshield?
That sunshield would have melted.
Sunshield guy, Holy crap, sema sunshield. It's gonna be in Vegas next week when we do the Mall of Meat greet next Saturday. It's gonna be ridiculous, donkeylous. And it's so hot where it's like one hundred degrees at midnight, you know, like what the hell?
Yeah, you could die in the middle of that, just like how that guy got the third degree burns on his feet.
It's not good bye.
That kind of heat nothing to play with.
I have some more these. Maybe we'll save some of these for tomorrow. You know, kind of up against it. As we say, podcast is supposed to be around thirty minutes, Danny. You know why because people that go to the gym are on the treadmill for about thirty minutes boom.
So that's what they tell us. And the average commute thirty minutes exactly.
And I don't think they pay us for any more than thirty minutes either. And we're not Joe Rogan over here getting that Joe Rogan money, so we gotta do, you know, we do what we can do.
We actually get paid for seven minutes, so we do the rest out of the kindness of our heart.
Exactly. We're giving back to the community, is what we're doing. Have a wonderful rest of your Saturday. We will be back with the mail bag and probably some more pop goes to the culture on Sunday, Danny. Anything you want to promote here today.
Just this fine podcast. Make sure that you follow it, rate, review it right a five star if you think we're worthy, and then send the podcast link off to two or three family members or friends. Even if it's the black sheep of your family. They might drink this will sound even better to them.
Yeah, as long as they listen to how long of five minutes you give us five minutes we get credit. It doesn't when they do the ratings on downloads, it doesn't say well, this person liked you, this person hated you. It just says how many people were listening. So that's that's all we need. That's all we need. We have a wonderful rest of your day. We will be back tomorrow.
Asta pasta my folation.