Kabbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahller starts right now.
In the air everywhere.
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio, who will be producing this podcast. He'll join me later in the weekend when I don't know, probably tomorrow, probably tomorrow.
But here we are.
We've made it to the end of the week. It is the seventh day of March, a big day for me. We usually begin these podcasts reacting to the dope holidays that they have every day, and today is National Ben Day, a day all about Ben.
You have got to be kidding me, How great is that? Yeah?
What a dumb holiday? Anyway, I do have some fun facts about the name Ben. It's not a popular name. It was never a popular name in my lifetime.
Ben.
Back in the I guess in the eighteen eighties, way before we were around, it was it was one of the ten most popular names in the United States. But as of the last survey of names available a couple of years back, the name Ben was ranked seven hundred and seventieth, so that that's not good. But outside of America it's it's popular in Germany, of all places, the name Ben ranked in the top thirty five. Also very popular in Ireland. About that Germany was in a seventh place.
Ireland it was in like thirty second place. And so the name Ben, which the most famous band the founding father, one of the founding fathers of the United States, Benjamin Franklin, the first Postmaster General in the US back in seventeen seventy five. Now, there were some other things that stood out that I would like to share with the class because it's kind of amusing. Today is National be Heard Day, and it's National Day of Unplugging, So you have a day to be heard and a day to not pay
attention to anybody. That's the same day, which is wonderful. Now I'm told National be Heard Day is a chance for small business owners to have their voices heard. So you're supposed to encourage people that work in small businesses to stand up for themselves and be heard and all that and fight against the big companies. But then you have National Day of Unplugging, which should be on the weekends.
It should not be on a Friday. You can say the weekend begins.
Today because it is Friday, the National Unplugging Day. It became a global day just a couple of years ago, so it's one of these for gazzy holidays that hasn't been around that long.
Now.
This weekend, I believe on Saturday, in the Sunday early in the morning, it is the daylight saving time jump. You gotta spring forward, and that'll be on Sunday in the wee hours of the morning, and that the early sunsets the end of winter and early sunsets, and that means the sun will be out a little bit later.
Now. I have been reading a lot of.
Things that one of the things that the Trump administration is considering doing here.
I thought this was took an Act.
Of Congress, but apparently the president can sway Congress is to decide whether or not they're going to just stick to one time, which I'm all for.
And this was actually something my dad.
Was a big advocate of and there were a couple of points before my dad checked out, where it looked like this was going to happen, and it never actually took place. But it seems like Trump's only gonna be president for a few more years and then he's done, and so he's trying to pack everything in he can.
And Elon Musk.
Was he the first Buddy or something, I don't know, whatever they're calling him, whatever dopey name they gave him, But he was running a survey over on X and trying to get people to decide whether they wanted the permanent clock to go if Daylight Saving US time changed, if it was canceled. Do you want an hour earlier an hour later of sunlight? And I don't know why you would want an hour earlier of sunlight. Most people would rather go out and do stuff after work and
have the sun up a little bit later. I would think, right, it's common sense. But I wouldn't care either way as long as you don't change it. And I used to do the weekend overnight show in my early days at Fox Sports Radio, and when we went back, I remember one year I was doing like a five hour live show on the weekends overnight, and so that five hour live show went to six hours, and then on the flip side when we lost an hour, and then it
was obviously down the other direction. But I recall spending a couple of years actually doing like six hours, which was a lot by yourself, and then when I ended up doing a weekend show with Looney Tunes, we did like six seven hours pretty much every Sunday on the Blitz. It was an all day into the night type situation back then. Now on this edition of The Fifth Hour, we have the return of the phrase of the Week and we're going to start though with the postgame cover.
So now I know the Bennys were back at the beginning of the week, back on Sunday night in the Monday early Monday morning.
And I don't want to do old broadcasting.
I did want to go over some of the numbers now that we've had some days to let everything settle in and process the Benny Awards, and so I wanted to hold your hand and walk you through this and kind of go over everything again.
If you miss the Benny Awards.
It's one of the most downloaded podcasts that we have every year, and certainly this quarter of the year. We have the Benny Awards, which took place back on Monday, and then the big event of the next quarter of the year, which goes into the summer, is the Malard Palooza, which will be taking place sometime around Major League Baseball it's all Star break. So I want to spend a couple of good minutes here going over the Benny Awards, and I'll give you who finished in first, second, and third,
third place in all of the various categories. I don't think I'm going to give who finished in last because it doesn't really I don't want to pick on people for finishing in last place.
But great voter turnout, very passionate.
I did get the normal emails from people saying, oh, you know, I really like your show. It's not fair I should have won, or people upset they didn't get nominated. Even I didn't get as many messages from people who lost as I have in the past, but I got this similar amount of people complaining it's not fair and I should have been nominated. They give me the whole resume, and I understand you're a fan of the show and
you want to be recognized. I get it, but we can't recognize everyone otherwise, what's the point, you know, I don't give out participation trophies and all that, so ixnay on the message A and I think some of you just did this to troll me. I'm convinced that there's a certain percentage of you idiots that were just setting me messages because you just wanted to bust my balls, which fine, mission accomplished. Pat yourself on the back, congratulations, A way to go, so again, I'll work you through
this year and the Benny Awards. Back on Monday, we had the Rookie Caller of the Year. Now, as you might remember, Mike the Leprechaun from Boston won and he won by a pretty wide margin. Finishing in second place was our friend Kelly in des Moines formerly in Nashville. Kelly and Shane in des Moines are a couple. They're going to be getting married at some point here. And Kelly's got a bun in the oven, so they've got that.
Working for him.
And in third place, I thought he would have done better than this because of the name Danny DeVito. So Danny DeVito finished in third place in Rookie Caller of the Year. So those are the top three the game show contested of the year, and this was the Secretariat, a domination situation for our guy, Manuel and Guardina, who got the largest margin of vote in any category. For Game Show Contestant of the Year, he won going away. Kelly and the Moine finished second. So that's two runner
ups in two categories. On the Bennies for Kelly in the Moines, she was in second place and in third place was Chris in Boston, and Chris and Boston did split. He did split the vote with Chris in Massachusetts, Chris and the Commonwealth, And if you would combine those votes, they would not have won, but.
They would have finished ahead of Kelly in the Moine.
But if ifs and butts were candy and nuts, everyone would win to Betty.
But that's not the way it works.
The next category, Lame Jokes Contributor of the Year, another domination situation not as pronounced as Manuel and Guardian, but Surfer Todd, the Comedian, a fan favorite. Surfer Todd did it again quite the character there as he ran away with the voting, finishing in second place. Kurt from Earth finished in second, and Chip in Maine was in third place. So congratulations to all of the joke writers.
I know some of you guys were upset that you didn't get nominated.
We have a lot of joke writers, George and Uvaldi for example, who did not get nominated, a regular joke writer, several others who have been with me a long time and unfortunately did not get the nomination. But that's the top three in that category. Game Lame Joe Contributor of the Year. The next category up is the ask Ben Questions hashtag asked Bean.
And the top three in this category.
That's very close category the Asked Ben Questions and Alf the Alien.
Ol piner one.
He won by eleven votes over his nemesis, Ferg Dog from Fullerton the Winter Wonderland of Fullerton, so Alf won by eleven votes. Ferg Doog was in second, and then just behind Ferg Doog was Late Night Drug Tester. So those are the top three in the ass Ben category. The top crew fill In which was very very competitive, and we had Milkman Mike, first ever non employee to win Crew fill in Milkman Mike as fake weed Man.
He ended up winning the vote. In second place was.
The No Show Brian no so Brian no fills in for me when I'm inappropriate away from my post. Brian Noah was in second place, and then in third we have Bernie Fratto Bernie Weekend at Bernie's, who just edged out Brie very close, just a few votes. So that's a pretty big surprise of the breed doing very well considering she only filled in a few times and Bernie and obviously Brian filled in more than anybody when I was away.
We're recapping the twenty twenty five Benny's the.
Top three drop of the year, and I ended up winning with give Me a Little Taste of That d and that was not very close. A second place was Loraina, the first runner up for Drop of the Year with the pickle SoundBite, and in third place and should have won the benny Hollering James, who not only not only as an epic snorre, but he proved that he can test the boundaries of the human body as he snored and farted at the same time on the air. And
how that does not win a benny. I would like to have a word with the electorate, like, how do you not give that benny for Drop of the Year? To Hollering James, So but didn't happen anyway, I won it. Loreno was second, and Hollering James finished a distant third for that particular Benny Award. As the crow flies as they say, whoever they are. From drop of the year, we go to the blind Caller of the Year, the blind Caller of the Year, and this category went to
blind Scott who dominated. Blind Scott has been over the top and very aggressive on our show. Now Blind Scott one got forty four percent of the popular vote in second place. It was a distant second place, but Inca Terror pretty impressive considering Inca doesn't call the show very much, but he was part of the Mallard Palooza, has been part of that off and on for a number of years. And in third place another guy that doesn't really call the show that much anymore, Emmett, the blind Seahawk Fan.
So that was the top three in the blind community and Emmett finishing in third, edging out who did he j he had that legally blind Christopher and also Stevie Meatball's intentional caller or intentional Hello. International Caller of the Year said the guy with the microphone it's early.
What do you want? International Caller of the Year.
Very competitive category in in fact, the difference between first place and second place was four votes, even closer than the Caller of the Year, and congratulations to Ozzie was as he ended up winning at Ozzie was in Western Australia. He's the guy that bought the satellite hookup from Elon Musk so he could support the show. And Ozzie wise ended up winning by four votes over Ozzie momentum. It's all Ozzie all the time, but Ozzie was over Ozzie momentum.
Finishing in third place was in a surprise Otto Bon Butch finished barely ahead of Terry in England and the difference between those two was also four votes, so very close voting for International Caller of the Year. And now the gentleman who finished in third Autobon Butch is not eligible now he moved back to the States, so he will no longer be eligib for International Caller of the Year.
The Intoxicated Caller of the Year.
A domination also that went to Jed who fled who won you might remember we talked about that, but in second place, very impressive from Lost Wages, Nevada. Mouthwash Mike, Mouthwash Mike is a big fan. He's from the Midwest. He's lived on the streets of Vegas for a while. Every radio show needs a lot of good homeless guys calling the show, so Mouthwash Mike lives on the streets in Vegas.
He came to the mallor meet and greet, and I don't need to get.
Into the Story's kind of obvious why he drinks mouthwash. And he's the guy that swims in the fountains at the Blagio. But he didn't call that much and he ended up finishing in second place over Keg Drinking Steve, the delusional over the top Canza City Chiefs fan Keg Drinking Steve, who finished in third place. The female caller of the another domination. Congratulations to all of the women.
Now this is a category. If you're trying to sneak in, you're trying to sneak in and win a Beny Award, this is the category for you because there's not that much competition.
But those that do take part.
The women that do take part very good callers, and they love the show and they support the show and congratulations to Andrea again the Astrology Ladies, she finished in first place. She got over forty percent of the popular vote in second place, and that's her third second place. She's like the bride'smaid, which is ironic. She's getting married,
but she's the bridesmaid. For the Beny Awards. Kelly and des Moines finished in second place, followed by Tammy in Montana, which is also very impressive that Tammy and Montana finished in third place considering the fact that Tammy rarely calls the show. She loves the show and she's still listens to the show, but she's unable to call the show much because of her her work situation.
But she finished in third place. The Beer Drinking.
Brian Worst Caller of the Year, the worst caller of the Year, and this category again very competitive category. Why wouldn't it be and we have a lot of worst callers. We don't have that many good callers. So the category named after beer drinking Brian, who passed away a few years back with half Pint, one of the great characters in the history of the Ben Mallor Show.
And we do miss beer drinking Brian.
He loved the show so much he could not stop drinking, and it unfortunately did him in the winner though of this category and back to back championships for Poppy in San Diego, who continues to be the biggest winner in the history of San Diego Sports. I don't know about sports in general, but at least sports radio Poppy in San Diego, who got thirty six percent of the vote in a
ridiculously competitive category. And Poppy ended up getting thirty six percent of the vote now finishing in second place, was hollering James, So congratulations, hollering James, you're the first runner up. And what that means if somehow Poppy becomes a good caller, then we have to bump up. Bump it up. Now, bump it up. We will have to bump up, hollering James. So, James, you should be hoping that Poppy in San Diego becomes a good caller, because then you become the new beer
drinking Brian worst caller of the year. And in third place Mike the Leprechaun. So, Mike, you got some work to do. Good luck. That is a surprise that Mike the Leprechaun finished ahead head of Gunner in Minnesota and also Jerome and Charleston, but particularly Gunner in Minnesota because his calls he's like a young poppy Gunner from the break room at the Walmart and he's on that same trajectory, if you know what I'm saying.
All right, the final, Final, Final, Final.
Category to break down for you on our postgame coverage made possible by Nobody the twenty twenty five Genie in Medford Haller of the Year. Before I get into this, I did want to take care of some business. I mentioned on the radio show that there's a park. I mentioned this every so often, there's a park in LA. It actually came up from Lorena and she mentioned there's a Swan boat park. It's near Dodger Stadium in LA. And I had mentioned that there's a plaque that is
dedicated to Genie in Medford. And I got an email from a guy who says I wasn't listening. I've heard you talk about Genie and Medfor'm a fan of the show and be in LA for work in the month of April next month, and I wanted to know what this was all about. And so I wrote back and I explained to the guy, and then I got another email from somebody who lives in LA who wanted to go check out check out the sign and as I was flattered and stuff, So I'll just throw it out here.
A couple of years back, been a minute, Genie and Medford passed away. She was a beloved caller on the show. People could not get enough of Genie in Medford. She was such a character and beloved right, and she was pretty sick and she didn't call for a while at the end, and when she passed away, you know, we mentioned the passing of people. We try to help them out their families and whatnot. But Jeanie was such a beloved caller to the show and she lived a very
lonely life. She had kids, but they didn't really talk to her that much, and she was kind of on her own. And it was a sad story, right. It was a sad story that happens to a lot of people. It's not just her. But she was a friend of ours and one of the reasons she kept calling the shows because she didn't have any friends. And so we embraced Genie and Medford, and when she passed away, we were overwhelmed. We were just trying to get some money to pay for her funeral expenses and whatnot.
And we had so much love for Genie.
People that never call the show, people that never send messages into the show, and they're like, oh, you know Genie, really, you know, cheered up my day and all the stuff. And it's the power of the spoken word, the power of the late night You never know who's listening. These are people that likely will never interact with the show ever. They're just listen and they're driving to work or driving home from work, and that's it. So we had extra money, and so we thought we wanted you know, I forget
who's I mean it was Tammy and Montana. So some came up with the idea and like, let's do something to remember Genie because she wasn't being buried in a cemetery.
It was one of those deals.
And so who visits cemeteries, right, Most people don't. But one day of the year, the day of the Dad, you might go and do that. But other than that, no, So this is at the Swan Boat Park. It's it's near Dodger Stadium, right near the one oh one freeway in La I actually go by there every time I drive into the.
Fox Sports radio studios.
I have to drive by that on the one oh one, so I'm driving by that a few days a week on my way into the studio, and I've not been there in a while. I was there originally around COVID time.
I'm a doctor, and it was it was bad.
I mean, there were homeless people everywhere. I thought the thing would be ripped off and gone. And then we went back, maybe two years ago, we stopped by and it was still there and it was all awesome. And so that is why we named the caller of the Year after Jeanie and Medford just a wonderful, wonderful caller to talk radio. Now, as for the meat of the matter, we mentioned very competitive, very close vote here, congratulations again to marcel in Brooklyn the caller of the year. So
he ended up winning in a uber competitive vote. He finished ahead of weed Man Hibbie by seven votes. That's a seven votes. Jed who fled finished in third place, so congratulations to him and everyone else who took part in that. But those are the top three, So congratulations to everybody. And you know, I didn't say your name here,
and it doesn't matter. You were in the running, and that's all that matters, and there's people upset that you were there and they weren't there, and they're pissed off and they were like what about us? You know all that stuff. So you got that going for you as well. Now, time now for the phrase of the week.
That's right, the phrase of the week.
And I thought it would be appropriate as this we recap the Benny Awards today, it would be appropriate if we went with the short end of the stick. That is the phrase of the week, the short end of the stick. Now, the reason we're doing that is because again a number of you idiots, so I got the short end of the stick and all this. So this origin story, there's a couple of different versions of the
phrase short end of the stick. Now, the one that seems the most plausible goes all the way back to the Middle Ages, right all the way back to the Middle Ages. And just like now, if you're wealthy, things are easier for you. So in the Middle Ages, if you're wealthy, the people that had the gold, the wealthier people cleaned themselves with rags and they after using the privy the poorer people use leaves on a kind of a curved stick, a goom stick. I think is how
you pronounce it. I believe I'm saying that right. I might be butchering it, but who knows. Just google it g o MPF. So this stick had a slightly curved end to it. You held onto the straight part and you clean your toukis and use the short curved part, so as you might imagine connecting the dots here. Don Yeah, anyone who's not paying attention back in the Middle Ages, you know.
Kind of goofing around. Maybe they're looking.
At their iPhone or reading a book or things that didn't exist. But anyone not paying attention when going to reach for this this goop stick, well they ended up grabbing the short end of the stick. And it was not not a pleasant experience, understand, not a pleasant experience, yes, not not the good and not the good at all. All right, that is that we'll put the pod to bed. Danny should be with me for the Saturday podcast. He should be here for the mailbag as well. But we'll
have that. We'll deal with it when we get to it. Have a wonderful rest of your Friday. Thank you for supporting the original Recipe podcast, this fifth Hour podcast, and we have new pods all weekend long, all weekend long.
Another one drops tomorrow and then obviously on Sunday, and then we're back at it on the original recipe podcast, The Overnight Show, The Ben Mahler Show, which will be on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday night into Monday, and we will talk to you then later skater aasta pasta Yeah, Danny, he's shaking his head.
Yes, wrong, gotta murder, I gotta go