Kubbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's a clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard starts right now in.
The airmywhere the Fifth Hour with me, Ben Mallor and Danny g Radio As we are together TGIF a happy Friday. It's early in the morning. I have been awake for a very long time. I'm not complaining, that is not a complaint. But we are together here on this Friday, the eighteenth day of October, and oh what a day
it is. Got Dodger and Mets this afternoon. I'm gonna get a few hours of sleep after I do this podcast, and then I will be back away to watch the Doyers eliminate the Mets from the National League Championship Series. Unless they don't, but I believe they will. Today will be an elimination day. The Dodgers are so much better than the Mets. This is one of the great domination situations. Not a sweep, not a sweep, but a domination situation
for sure. And we celebrate today not only the Dodgers and the Mets, and then the Yankees and the team that used to be called the Cleveland Indians. But it is National Chocolate cup Cupcake Day.
That's right now.
I love cupcase. I'm not a huge chocolate cupcake person. I don't mind it. It's not something I will go out of my way to get. There's all kinds of there's National Cupcake Day, which is a different day, not to be confused with National Hot Chocolate Day or National Chocolate Cake Day. Those are all separate days. This is National Chocolate chip Cupcake Day, which, if you look at the history here, the chocolate cupcakes made their first written,
written debut in American culture. The first cookbook to write that in America was written in seventeen ninety six. It was called American Cookery, and it featured a bunch of different recipes, obviously, and one of them was a chocolate cupcake. So if you're interested in that kind of thing, congratulations. Going back to the seventeen hundreds, people in America have been eating chocolate cupcakes. It's also National Mashed Potatoes Day.
Now.
When I was a kid, my mom would make a lot of meals where the side dish was peas, canned peas, throwing a lot of mashed potato dishes. And I liked mashed potatoes.
I did.
They were not exotic mashed potatoes. I enjoyed them, and then as I got older, I realized, well, that's kind of a cheap food, and that's one of the reasons. The stuff I ate as a kid, like frozen fish sticks, things like that, a lot of stuff that was easily available and didn't cost all that much. But today's National Mashed Potatoes Day. They say the human beings have been growing potatoes going as far back as eight thousand BC. Yeah, eight thousand BC. I don't know what they did before that.
And they claim that remains were found in central Peru. We do not do shout outs on the podcast, so I cannot shout out inker terror, but they have found a bunch of remnants of that, and potatoes appear all over the place. The mashed potato though spread throughout the northern colonies, it wasn't until Thomas Jefferson of all people served the potato to guess at the White House.
That was an.
Eighteen oh two. And then after that they had a bunch of Irish immigrants that came to America and they brought their culture to America and their love of the potato, and we had potatoes reach outer space. In the nineties, the University of Wisconsin and NASA got together and they put the potato as the first ever vegetable grown in space. The potato potato isn't that wonderful in that grade? Yeah, so celebrate appropriately. It is National mashed Potato Day. There's also some birthdays today.
One of them.
And I look at these names and I get these lists and I'm like, all right, what I list radio we're podcasting.
But I looked at it.
I said, well, that name rings a bell. I said, we almost had that guy on the podcast. And that would be none other than the legendary coach of the Chicago Bears back in the day, Iron Mike Ditka, who if you've listened to this podcast, you know that we attempted to get Mike Ditka on the podcast. Mike is getting up there. He was born in nineteen thirty nine.
Long run as an NFL player. I knew him as the coach of the Bears when I was a kid, and a long career as a TV guy, Iron Mike Tyson and the pride of Pennsylvania Steel tough right, Pennsylvania football. He just oozed Pennsylvania football. Mike Ditka tried to get him on the podcast. A buddy of mine had a number, so I gave him a couple of texts, give him
a couple of calls. He didn't answer his phone, and he didn't respond to the text and actually heard I don't know this firsthand, but somebody that knows more about the situation than me said that Mike has been in very poor health the last couple of years, so I don't know if that's true or not. I know he has not been seen out in public very much. Last time he was seen it was on the internet. It was kind of disheveled and wasn't doing all that well.
So hopefully things have gotten better from Mike Ditka, who was a one of the great characters in NFL history in his day and in many ways part of my youth. How I wasn't a Bears fan. I did like refrigerator Perry because he was fat for the mid eighties bears, and you know, I was right in my wheelhouse. But Mike Ditka the character that he was, and that was an era where you had bigger than life personalities who
were coaches. It wasn't like today, Hey Boomer. But you guys know, listen, Yeah, people that listen to spots down on how old you are, where your background is, but it doesn't matter, right.
And here's why. If you look back at.
What it was and what it is now, it's so corporate and everyone's offended about everything these days, and coaches talking coach speak. Not that they didn't do that back in the day, it's just a different animal at this particular point. So on this podcast, we'll bounce around a
little bit. There's a few things that I wanted to share with you on this fifth hour edition The Big News, and I teased this on the radio show, and I promised you, I said, listen, download the FM podcast and you're going to get all the inside information, none of that artsy fartsy bowl crap. Everything will be delivered right to your ear drums, And here we are a very exciting announcement.
I teased this a couple of weeks back. I've been working on this for some time.
Finally got all the tea's crossed and the eyes died, dotted dotted. That would be the word Heartland ho Down. Big announcement, Big Announcement two point zero. I actually talked about this originally back on Thursday, equally appearance on the radio on the fan in Cana City. But assuming you didn't drop your entire life to listen to me wax poetic with my friend Bob, who does radio in Kansas City. I am very excited to let you know about a
pop up Malard meet and greet. We're headed to the Great Midwest, the mecca of the National foot Ball League.
How do you do?
And I'm going to get a chance to witness the modern day pig skin dynasty.
Say what it is?
The final Malar Meet and Greet of twenty twenty four. We're calling it the Heartland Heartland Hodown for now and maybe we'll change the name, maybe not. But let me give you the basics on this as promised. Some of you reached out to me via email said you're planning on attending, whether you actually do or not. As I always say with these things, I have no idea.
I'll be there.
Hopefully you can show up. I take the people that are SVP. I appreciate you doing that, but I also realize that things pop up in life and you might not be able to attend. I would love for you to be there. It would be awesome. But here are the basics, the who, what, where, when, why and how? The who that would be me, not the band, me Ben Hi, my friend Bob Fesco. I believe that his partner on his radio show, Dusty his guy, will be there. Unfortunately,
this is just a malor meet and great. It is not an Eddie soire Coop will not be there, Lorena will not will not be there.
Just me.
You're just stuck with my fat ass and what is it? It is a chance for malad militia pee wance.
That would be you.
That would be if you're listening to this podcast, that would be you. And if you're in reasonable driving distance now, Kansas City is centrally oh kid. One of the cool things about Kansy and I have a lot of friends that live there, and you guys that live there know this, is that you can go pretty much anywhere in a very short amount of time.
In the middle of the country. So it's a really cool thing.
So if you're in the area and you're thinking about doing it, maybe you've attended one of these things in the past.
And when we did in Minnesota or.
Appleton, Wisconsin or wherever, we don't do very many, and this was one that was not playing. But we're doing it, and I'm very excited.
I'll be there.
Bob Fesco will be there with his listeners, so we're going to combine the Malad militia and my got Bob.
Will be there. I don't know that again, I don't know if Dusky's going to be there. Where's it going to take place? At the Landing in Liberty, Missouri.
Now, Michael, the man behind the Landing, one of the big guys there that runs that fine restaurant, help make this happen, so I want to thank him. And when is it going to take place? Well, this is very important. We're not that far away. We're in the eighteenth of October right now. It's going to happen November ninth, Saturday, November ninth. Jot that down, put that in your phone, Save that date November ninth. Now, when what time that
has yet to be determined. We're still negotiating when we want to do it, When can we get the biggest crowd. It'll likely be sometime in the afternoon or early evening, most likely most likely afternoon early evening at the latest.
And why are we doing it? Or we're doing it?
First of all, to support a restaurant that has been very good to me over the years, A mom and pop, not some big conglomerate restaurant, a locally owned restaurant, The Landing in Liberty, Missouri, which is not that far away from Arrowhead and not that far away you know the complex there were the royals and the chiefs play and we're going to hang out, just enjoy some great food at the Landing Midwestern hospitality, and consume massive amounts of
the ben malor chicken fingers and hidden ranch. How dare you, Danny, how we're going to do all this? You ask, well, how we are going to do this? That would be planes, trains, and automobiles, probably no trains, more planes and automobiles, and also hotels. This is not a Fox Sports Radio event. They had nothing to do with this. This is just our friends at the fan in Kansas City. The New FM blow Torch along with the Landing in Liberty and so fired up again. November ninth saved that date. I'd
love to see it. We did one of these in Kansas City. The restaurant the Landing used to be called the Brooksider, and we went there. That was a different restaurant before I was even married. Been married a long time, so it's been a while. We're going back and I'm fired up.
I can't wait.
We had a great time in Kansas City and I'm looking forward to checking everything out and saying hello to a lot of people that I haven't seen in a long time.
And forget about Taylor swept right. I.
I have been invited to attend the Chiefs and the Broncos game on that Sunday. I think it's November tenth, I believe is the date on that at Arrowhead Stadium against the Broncos.
I have never been to a game at Arrowhead.
That game is actually going to be, based on what we've seen so far, an important matchup in the NFL. I've been putting this together with our friends in Kansas City, and originally there were some things that came up that kind of delayed everything.
But originally I was like, well, that's not going to be that good a game. The Broncos are going to be terrible. I was like, oh, come on, they're brutal blah blah blah blah blah. Well it turns out no, they'll be actually pretty good. At least at this point. They're pretty good.
And the Broncos, who won last night in a rat kill situation, they will take on the Chiefs. Chiefs undefeated. They play the Niners on Sunday. Broncos are four and three. They should get to at least five and three, probably be five and four, likely five and four before they play the Chiefs because they got the Ravens at Baltimore. After they play Carolina next week on October or their next game is October twenty seventh, so obviously a little time after they played on Thursday. So that is what's
up ahead for the Heartland Hodown. As far as the TV show, yeah, there's a TV show.
I normally you bear the lead by man, don't bear the lead, all right, I bury the lead.
I realize that, but it is another weekend of Benny versus the Penny. I am so happy to have this. I'm so excited. It's awesome and I'm really fired up. You guys have been sending me emails every week. I get new messages from people that listen to this podcasts, that are listening to this show, but also sending me photos from different places they're watching the TV show, whether it be your lake house, whether it be I don't know.
We had one guy from a sports bar, which was kind of cool, all kinds of but normally at your house. But the show is on elsewhere obviously where we have a TV and all that, so it's great. I'm very proud of this week's episode, week seven of Benny Versus the Penny, and the people at NBC have been great. We had a little bit of a microphone snaffu, if you will, last week. There were some technical issues the type of microphone, and they immediately the circled the wagons.
They're like, hey, listen, we're going to fix this. And it's so much different than the radio world. In television, when something goes haywire, there is an army of people that run to make sure that problem never happens again.
And I'm not exaggerating.
There were a bunch of people, a team of people in Boston and in LA We do the show from Universal Studios in Hollywood, who were working to try to ratify the situation or rectify the situation, i should say, And they determined that the type of microphone because of
the studio setup that we have. We do the show in a studio with the green screen and the way it's set up and the size of the room and all this stuff and the way I talk and the way Looney talks, and the only thing that we needed a special type of microphone special time.
So they went out and bought a.
Different microphone and they shipped it and there were people testing it, and then we got in there.
We had to test it and the whole thing.
But that was good and the show will debut normal timeslot today.
We'll see how what happens going forward.
The NBA season begins next week, so we might be bumped out of our normal timeslot depending on the schedule. But this week today on our debut on NBC Sports Boston. The show will air tonight at six o'clock. It's a great time slot. Fired up. They trusted the show enough to put us on NBC Sports Boston six o'clock right after Felger and Maz the simulcast of the most popular
radio show in Boston. That show goes till six and then we pop on with Penny Versus the Penny, and then the Celtics will start playing some real games next week.
So that is our debut.
The show is produced out of NBA Sports Boston, so that is an important and important.
Show for us in Boston.
It will also be on various other regional cable channels throughout the country today.
Check your local listenings.
For example, in Philadelphia, we will be on at six thirty six point thirty airing tonight in Philly, and that's right after Birds Huddle inside Egle Information and then you got us on NBC Sports Philadelphia. And if you're happy you've happened to be in the Bay Area, don't forget that you can also get your hands on this show NBC Sports Bay Area all over the place. There several airings today tomorrow, the whole thing. We're on in La tomorrow later on today, and I'm not sure exactly when
this drops. Some of you have complained I tried to find the new episode and I couldn't find it.
Well, you got to wait a little bit.
I'm talking about Peacock now. I got several messages this morning after the radio show I did last night. They were like, Oh, I loved your peacock impersonation. You should do that on the podcast. No, that's only for the radio show. I'm not gonna do the Peacock impersonation here, but please, it's Availa everywhere. You guys complain, Oh it's not right, I can't get the show. You got to make the show available. Okay, So we made the show available.
I complained to the people at NBC. They heard me complain as a conduit, as a middleman between you and these big executives, and they put it on Peacock. So it's on everywhere, and that's a very important place for us. Right everyone's going to streaming, you know a lot of places and all that. So it's important the show does well and we want to make the show even bigger
and better. We have other ideas, we want to expand things, and so for that to happen, in order for us to continue on, we need you to watch the show. And you've been doing a hell of a job. I just want you to keep it going. And if you happen to have some people in your life that also have Peacock and they would watch it. That would help us out a lot. I would like them to enjoy the show. But as I've said in previous episodes on
the fifth hour, you know my position. I've met a number of people in my wife's family or circle of friends who are.
Not sports people. They don't get it. They're not like us.
They're not sports people, and they know I do the show, and so they'll bring it up in small talk, which I don't like.
I don't like small talk anyway, but.
I'll try to engage and I'll always say I said, listen, you know, if you don't like football, I get it. If you're not a gambler, I understand. If you look at football the way our friend Lorena looks at football, where you don't know if it's stuffed or puffed.
That's fine. I'm okay with that.
All I need is you to click on Peacock, make sure you subscribe, click on it, and then you say you have to do the dishes, or maybe you're taking a sh shower, you got some work around the house, laundry, Okay, you hit the play button On the newest episode of Benny versus the penny. If you walk out of the room, I don't know whether you're watching. I don't know whether you're watching. I'd like you to watch, but we get
credit for it. I know Alf has been amazing. Alf has kicked ass here, He's draging other people into this masshole.
Mickey also outstanding.
So I really do appreciate the support you guys have gone above and beyond the call of duty. I'm sure John, our newest sworn in member of the Mala Militia from Phoenix, he's watching the show as well, So thank you all. All of you guys have been just amazing and really excited about the way the show is.
I want to make it even better. If you have any suggestions on how we can improve the show, go, It's only a half hour show. We have the phrase of the week. Are you ready for the phrase? All the way?
Yes you are now. This is from listener Scott. Not to be confused with Blind Scott, because that's somebody else. This is Scott from the nine to one seven New York U nine one seven area code. He says a blowing He wants to know the phrase of the week this week. Blowing smoke up your ass. He said, where did that come from? So initially I thought, well, maybe this is a gag, maybe this is somebody that just effing around, But no, he seemed to want to know this,
and I was blown away. I did not even anticipate, like I said, well, I'll look at this.
I won't do it. It's probably stupid, it's got some X rated thing.
No, no, no, Now you likely know if anyone has ever said, maybe you use this phrase blow and smoke up your ass, right when someone says that, it is a figure of communication, right, a figure of speech, and it means that at you're complimenting another person, but you're not doing it legitimately, you're insincere.
You're using the ancient art of flattery.
You're being you're appealing to the person's ego, you're inflating their ego.
So I well, okay, fine, whatever where did this come from? Well, it turns out this is mind blowing.
Way back in the late seventeen hundreds, before toilet paper, before modern technology, it was very archaic in the seventeen hundreds. So back in the late seventeen hundreds, doctors literally blue smoke up your rectum, say why let me repeat that for those of you who are not paying attention because you're doing something else, fuson around while you're listening to this podcast. In the late seventeen hundreds, in medicine at that time would blow smoke up your ass.
Yeah, I'm not making this up.
Mainstream Western medication, modern medicine.
In those days.
This was a medical procedure to resuscitate people who were otherwise presume dead. So they think somebody's dead and then they're like, okay, let's help the mine. Now it was supposedly common for drowning victims. That was usually what they used it for people that were drowning or they thought
had drowned. And the equipment used in the procedure that was required by for example, on the Thames River River Thames in the UK, the historians found the equipment that they had placed they put near the waterways and people would go on the week and have great times and when the weather was good, and they had this equipment available in case somebody's drown and they would blow smoke up your ass by inserting a tube and the tube was connected to a fumigator okay, and they would force
smoke into the rectum. Now sometimes they would they would throw a more direct route to the lungs, forcing the smoke into the you know, your mouth, your nose and all that. But from what I was reading here, they the doctors of the time were big believers in the took us and you must blow smoke up the old ass. And the nicotine and the tobacco was thought to stimulate the heart, allow the heart to beat stronger and faster,
encouraging respiration. And the smoke was also thought to warm the victim and dry out the person's insides, removing all the extra moisture from the nice smoke. So, in a shocking turn of events for listeners, Scott, and for me, this is why we do this phrase of the week, blowing smoke up your ass, which was an actual medical term back in the day. God, I remember one time I was in Pennsylvania at the Revolutionary War Museum.
I believe it was.
It is one of the wars that George Washington fought in, and it was not the most exciting museum, but I think it was in Valley Forge. I believe it was a long time I was in visiting Philadelphia. It was outside Philly, so it was driving through Pennsylvania and we went to the museum and they had this one section of how they would treat soldiers who got injured on
the battlefield, and it was like a horror movie. What they used to amputate body parts, archaic, horrific, the fuel of nightmares, and it was just the way it was. That's how you did things, and you just had to do your thing and that's that and that's what you did, and you just sucked it up, Buttercup, but just nuts, absolutely nuts. It was craziness. So anyway, that is that I did have a little time for fruity fun because
we all got to eat. Well. Good news if you're in the UK, terry in England, the McRib is back for a limited time. However, not yet in the United States, although we are told as I understand that the McRib will return to the United States later this year. As far as our conversation we had last night, we had a hearty conversation about the Chicken Big Mac. None of us on the show had eaten the chicken Big Mac, although we have all heard it is disgusting and we
haven't done it ourselves. So if you have eaten the Chicken, Big Mac, and you would like to send a review in send it care of fifth Hour and the fifth Hour email. If you don't know what that is, let me give that to you right now, the official fifth Hour email, which we do the mailbag on Siteay, it's real fifth hour at gmail dot com. That's it, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Spell it all out, all letters, no numbers, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
A couple of those stories that came across my radar Taco Bell welcoming back, the Double Decker Taco and the Double Decker Taco Supreme.
I'm good on that.
Subway has introduced a couple of the new items they have, ghost pepper bread.
I can go for that new spicy nacho steak.
I'd have to look at that. And Firing Meatball sandwiches. That's a spicy meatball.
I think I'm good. Costco. We love Costco. What's going on there?
Well, apparently there's one item in particular that Costco has to figure out and a lot of complaints, a lot of problems here.
What product is that? That would be bread? Bread Stone fire brand bread.
Apparently it is often moldy right away, so think of this more as a PSA if you.
Buy that brand of bread.
They claim it's been a problem for a fair amount of time at the Costco.
Why because bread gets mold. Popeyes famous.
Thanksgiving Turkey is back, but you have to jump through a bunch of hoops to get your hands on that. KFC made a lot of food news, foody fun news this week. They have a new dessert offer. They're calling it cherry pie Poppers. Insert your own X rated joke on that cherry pie poppers. They also have launched the new original recipe Tenders with the eleven herbs and spices nationwide with the zesty comeback sauce.
Yeah, I'm more of a crunchy chicken guy.
I don't mind the original recipe, but if I'm eating Tenders, I want the crunch and I'm likely not going to KFC. I used to eat CAMFC all the time. Also Campc's original recipe Tenders.
Several of you. You say outstanding, many, I say many? Two people.
I say many. That sounds like a lot more than two. Two people send me emails about Burger King. So Burger King and Hidden Rancho have teamed up to create the Big Dip and this is already available right now select locations not available to nationally.
It's New York, New York City.
La, Chicago, Miami, Dallas, Houston, and San Francisco. And this is the kind of stuff that's disgusting. It's a it's a giant tub of ranch dressing and it's hard.
Now.
I am not against a giant tub to dip into, uh, but ranch is the devil's blood. And I cannot imagine combining Burger King, which is you know, I ate it a lot as a kid.
I last time I ate Burger King, I wanted to puke in my mouth. It was terrible. And I haven't been back since, so I think I'm good on that. All right, we'll get out on that.
Danny g will be back with me tomorrow on the Saturday audition. Hopefully we'll be celebrating the dayers going to the World Series. Yet again, it's every couple of years they go to World Series. We'll see about that, but either way, either way, we will be here, come hell or high water on Saturday morning, here the nineteenth, but today's the eighteenth.
Have a wonderful day. Remember I need your help. You got my back. I appreciate it.
Benny Versus the Penny, airing on regional cable TV all over the place today all weekend long through Sunday afternoon when the NFL kicks off again, and also available on Peacock. Tell a friend, get those Peacock numbers up, up and away. The more people that watch it, the better coverage we get on Peacock, and they'll allow more people access to it, so not that everyone doesn't have access to it, but
they'll promote the show more crap like that. I have a wonderful day, and we'll see what happens today with the Dodgers. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Gotta murder, I gotta go