Kutbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's a clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere. Welcome to the final weekend of The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny G. Radio. As we are in the air everywhere bloviating on this glorious Friday. Well, I don't know if it's glorious or not. I guess it's early in the morning, so we'll see if it's glorious or not as the day goes on. But it's the twenty ninth day of December, and my
man Danny G we are hanging out here. Podcast continues even on a holiday weekend when we could conceivably go to management and say why would we do a podcast because it's a holiday weekend, But we're here anyway. That's how much we love the pot.
Yeah, we are the Joe Flacco of Podcasting Alive and Kicking Oh.
Speaking of Joe Flacco. Man, Now, I know I was not at my post last night, but I didn't do a couple of shows this week, So I don't feel guilty. Jerk yourself away. I don't feel guilty. But I had a chance to settle in and watch a bunch of games. On Thursday night, I was flipping around. I watched a little bit of that Pop Tart. That Pop Tart game. I saw that, and I actually believe it or not watching an NBA game. I watched the end of the Celtics and the Pistons on NBC Sports Boston as it
huh oh man, that game, now listen to. The Pistons didn't win the game, but they covered the spread. And that's one of those games you're like, is that the Mafioso? I we used to call that a Soprano special back when that show was on the air. I was like, how does that happen? I know the Celtics were without a couple of guys, but still the Pistons blow and they had the Celtics. They were up big. They were up like twenty points in the first half of that game.
It was nut.
So I watched that and then but I really focused in on the Thursday night game. Now, normally I wouldn't give a rats ass. I'm not on the Jets and the Browns. I mean, what is that? And I didn't have to watch it. This is how buch a loser I am, Danny. I didn't have to watch it. I wasn't doing a show. I didn't have a monologue to do about the game. And I watched it anyway, what a dumb ass I And I actually enjoyed it. And I'll tell you what my first point on that. And
I know we're not here to do sporty. We don't do sporty on the podcast. But it was a little bittersweet watching the game because in my head, I'm very concerned that my guy, Al Michaels is going to be put out the pastor was a little sentimental because it's
conceivable that that was his final NFL broadcast. Now nothing's been announced yet, but there's no Thursday night game in week eighteen because they don't want to give anyone an advantage for the playoffs, and so if Al does not come back next year, he's not going to do a playoff game for NBC. He's been kicked out of that, so that it's possible that that was it, the final broadcast of really what is part of my youth? Al Michaels It's and you too, Dan's. It was a little
bit nostalgic, and I hope that's not it. I hope al comes back and does another game. I don't care how many young young idiots on social media rip him. I love the guy because I watch al Michaels. I'm like ten years old again watching al Michaels. That was my first thought. And you know, again, maybe it's nothing and it's just me overreacting here, but all the negative stuff around al Michaels, I'm like, well, that could be
the final practice. And the other thought I had was this Joe Flacco thing, and am I let me ask you this, Am I a bad person? I guess it's been a rhetorical question. Am I a bad person? Get a little jerk in that part of me really wants to see the Cleveland Browns go to the Super Bowl for two reasons. Okay, Number one, it would make de Shaun Watson, the creepy quarterback, look about as bad as
you could possibly look right. That's the main point. But then also the Jets when Aaron Rodgers got hurt and the Jets had a bunch of turns out there playing quarterback, and Flacco wanted to play for the Jets, and they wouldn't even return his phone calls. And if he were to go on a magic carpet, right, and he is historically one of the ten greatest postseason quarterbacks in NFL history. Jim Plunkett is number one, number one, your guy from
the Raiders at eight and two in the postseason. Mahomes a second Brawn, Adshaw, Aikman, Brady, Montana, Warner and Flacco in terms of winning percentage in the postseason. So that those were my thoughts. And the game the second half the Browns, they had a couple of injuries to the receiver, they did nothing. Flaccoed thirteen yards passing. I believe in the second half of that game last night, I gets the Jets. But uh, what do you think that, Dandy?
I my nuts? Am I out of my mind here thinking that Al Michaels that could be it for Al and that that might have been his final final broadcast. I have.
Seem for Al no I mean one telling sign. He walked into the tunnel side by side with Randall Cobb, so that might.
Be it for al Michaels last dance.
Usually when somebody's walking next to Randall Cobb, it's over very disturbing.
Yes, especially when he's walking out of a huddle. That's usually a bad sign. Went.
And then as far as Joe Flacco, I think the really cool part his comeback Player of the Year status. He was literally in his kids drop off line at school when he got the call from the Browns.
Yeah.
Normally when you get a call from the Browns, you're like, oh, man, I hope I didn't clog the toilet. But this is I mean, this is exciting here. Now he's got a shot. And it's as you know, Danny, a lot of what we do now is as we are radio gas bags in Blullhearts. It's all about the story. That's a really good story. That's a great story. But I'm looking at it unlike most of the media, where the media is like, oh, this is great. You know, old guy rises up one
last hurrah fhades in the sunset. I'm looking at from the shot in freuder perspective as I said that this would be like an f you to Deshaun Watson, who's there forever quarterback who stinks for the Browns. And then it's also an few to the Jets because they didn't want to touch this flat even though they knew Rogers was going to be out all year, and they put that stiff, a complete thunderhead, Zach Wilson in there, and then they've had a parade of suck that has followed him.
No, I love it too.
I mentioned it as Covino and Rich filled in for the Dan Patrick Show Thursday morning. I said, it's an indictment on the Jets for not giving Flacco a chance. Everybody knew who Zach Wilson was. The Jets acted as if they knew something we didn't know, but it obviously didn't pan out that way. Zach Wilson is who we thought. He was not going to change. That dude is going to be a career backup in the NFL who bounces around from team to team.
The great stat that I saw bouncing around Joe Flacco thirteen touchdown passes this season. The New York Jets as a team have eleven, and Flacco didn't even play until December third. It's not like Flacco's perfect, He's not turned the ball over a lot, but it's working. It's not I mean, he's not the greatest thing in the NFL, but it is working.
One thing I did want to mention, though, was it because I like stats like that. I saw at Antonio Piers stat the Raiders defense. They have better stats right now in seven games with Antonio Pierce, then their defense put up all last season in seventeen games.
Yeah, no, he's been he's been great. If they still got to find a quarterback though, even if you keep anton eight and O'Connell, ain't it.
Oh no, he's speaking of backup quarterbacks. He'll be a good He'll be a decent backup. But obviously the Raiders do need their franchise quarterback. But that defense, Holy walk em only did you pick the Raiders to cover on Christmas Day?
No?
I did not on the team. It took the Chiefs in that game. But well, when the Raiders playing the Colts this weekend, so I so that's a back to back road game. But yeah, the cult.
Your thoughts changed on or your view of Patrick Mahomes has it changed a little bit? He used to just strike me as ultra competitive. Now I look at him as a big kind of cry baby.
Well, the thing about Mahomes, The first thought on Mahomes is I didn't think he would fall down this far, like I thought, you know, the Chiefs don't have great playmakers. But his the pouting and stuff. I don't get really worked up about that because I said Tom Brady did the same crap. You know, he was how many times did Brady pout and cry if he didn't get a call or something like that. So that's it's annoying, and you know, we haven't seen a lot of that from Mahomes.
The other thing I love, and this happens all the time when a team wins the Super Bowl, has success and then they fall fall down a little bit. It's you, you're doing too many commercials. It's Taylor's swift. It's this that one of my and we're gonna talk about this on the TV show this week. One of the storylines that Mike Florio and others are thrown out are or that the Chiefs need to bring back Eric b Enemy right, that that that's why they're not any good on offense.
And so I did did a little recon on Eric B. Enemy and I noticed and this does not does not fit the narrative, so they don't like to talk about it, like you know the old story. When the legend be comes to fact, you go with the legend. And so the legend is that and I have nothing, you know, I have nothing.
I don't know B.
Enemy or anything like that, but I just know that he has not been the savior, the messiah. The Washington football team, they actually, Danny have worse numbers in total offense year to year with Eric B. Enemy and they did the year before. And the Enemy was brought in and he was supposed to be this guy that was gonna help the quarterback Sam Howell blossom and Howl just got benched this week. So but but yet these stories still get written about. You know, Pienemy needs to come
back to Kansas City and all that. They know what the Chiefs needs. They need better players, that's what they need. They need better players is what they need.
Yeah, and don't And I don't want anyone to ever feel sorry for them because they stuck it to my favorite team for a few years, for quite a few years now. And remember when they ran that ring around the Rosie play. Oh yeah, oh, Kansas City.
But look at the Chiefs. So if you if you look at it from this perspective, they're not particularly good. They've gotten worse, they haven't gotten better as the season's gone on. But you look around the division. The Raiders fired their coach, the Chargers fired their coach, the Broncos, I don't know what they're Russell.
Wilson, you know, you fired their quarterback.
It's honorable discharge by you know what Russell was. So it's like the whole division in his flummox and Kansas City is still not particularly great, but the whole division is wonky in the West.
Yeah, man, you said it about the Raiders quarterback situation. Imagine if they had signed a Baker Mayfield or a Joe Flacco, if they had a serviceable quarterback right now, they could seriously be looking at the playoffs. I know they could still sneak in with a couple of wins to end the season and a couple of losses from other AFC teams, but if they had a serviceable quarterback, they could be a true threat in the playoffs.
Yeah, no question about it. A couple of things I'm gonna call this one razorburn. On the podcast, we have more oddities from the boob Tube now. This week, as we talked about it, a couple of radio shows. Typically we are dark this week racist on my end, you know, over the years, I've usually taken the week between Christmas and New Year's and not done any broadcasting. But we had to do the TV show, which is a good
problem to have, So I figured, why not. The way the show works, the way we do it, we have meetings. One day, we go over everything. I have to do my prep. I do that a lot. But we have one day where it's just like all put together, and then I have to contact We're in communication with our producers and Benny versus the penny there Vinnie who's our producer, and so I have to work with him, and then we do the show the following day. And so it's
a couple of days of mildly hard mental labor. And so I figured, I'm working those days anyway, why not just do the radio. It's not like I'm going to have days off, so I might as well just do it. And so I might as well double dip. We did, and we mentioned this last week on the Podcastie, I had a shaver malfunction. My beard trimmer met in untimely demise, and so if you watched the last week's episode of the show on Christmas weekend, had a little more hair
than I normally do it. So my wife didn't assauld that she ordered a brand new shiny razor, so I would be be right there. I'd be prim and proper for the camera. I'm groomed and ready to go.
Is this a Harry's razor commercial?
Well, if they want to contact our sales department at iHeart, we would love to do.
Well. I know they're on the air on a couple of our shows.
So what do you expect? Then? Let me ask you this, What do you expect? And you listening, what do you expect when you order something online in the year twenty twenty three into twenty twenty four.
What you expected to arrive the following day?
Exactly right? At most two days later. At most two days that's reason. But one day would be great, two days you're okay with it? Well, I did not receive the razor. I asked my wife to look it up and see where it was, and she said, well, it says it's not going to be delivered until the day after the TV show. That's a razor burn situation. So it was getting close to deadline day and I had to do something I don't often do. I was starting to look like Gandolf from Lord of the Rings, subs,
disheveled and all that. So I called an audible. Here we go. Oh maha, oh maha, and I visited the great Walmart, made a rare and appropriate midweek trip to Walmart in a desperate attempt to buy a shaver a razor to saving. That was my lucky day because, as you know, the state we live in, there's a bunch of animals vermin that steal everything that's not locked down. So you go to the stores in California to shop, and anything that's worth more than two dollars is behind
a glass case. So and the razors are all behind a glass case. And then so they're locked away, and then it's a pain in the ass. You got to call somebody over to open the thing, and then they're busy, and then they come over and then they want you to pick what you want to get out of there. But I'm a guy that likes to read the box.
I like to see what's you know, when I'm getting well. Fortunately, I walk into the section of the pharmacy they're the razors, and the lady at Walmart had the case open and she was putting stuff in there. So I was able to use the analytics and I was able to take my time and methodically read all the boxes, and mission accomplished. A saved. I also saved a bunch of money because the one I bought was much much more cost effective than the one that had been ordered. So screw you Amazon.
That razor is going back, uh back back, back, back back. It'll be going to an Amazon discount store near you. You can buy an unused I mean open it unused. It did show up, but I unused, so knock yourself out.
Uh.
And one other footnote, Now, after we got done taping the TV show, UH, high tailed it. High tail that out of there. Now. Typically this is the worst part, the worst part of my week, Danny, is because I don't usually sit in trap. You have to sit in traffic because of your schedule with Colvino and Rich You're in I would think pretty bad rush hour traffic most
of the time, right, yep, Yeah, it's terrible. I I one of the great benefits of being on the race d A ninety eight point five percent of the society is sleeping, is there's usually not a lot of traffic. You gotta avoid drunk drivers. That's the main obstacle, or roadwork. Those are the two problems. So typically the worst part of my week we do the TV show and then I have to sit and rush hour traffic driving from
Universal Studios to the Northwoods. It normally takes forever. Now I try to rationalize it, and I have music I'll listen to to try to calm me down. I'll listen to a podcast, or maybe I'll even sample some of the old shows to make sure I sound somewhat decent. But I mean Gridlin rush out bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper bump.
But not this week.
So many people either are not working, working remotely or visiting family. They're not from LA. Most people aren't from LA and they go somewhere where their family is. So it was Moses like be partying not of the Red Sea, the parting of the one oh one freeway and Interstate five and all these other highways that I take smooth sailing speed racer and looked just absolutely loved it. Didn't have to spend any time in bumper to mumft traffic. It was the way to go. So that was that was Yeah.
You know on Christmas Eve we drove to Anaheim for Disneyland.
Oh yeah, that's right.
That was the fastest trip I've ever had in a car to get to Anaheim. We literally flew one hour. Ben that's usually a three hour fiasco.
Yeah, yeah, and that what like Shohel Tani who goes from the Angels to the Dodgers, he he lives kind of near the Big A in Orange County, That's what I've been told. So for him to play for the Dodgers, now, they do leave kind of early to get to the ballpark, but he's going to be in that traffic and it's not three hours, but it's like two and a half maybe for him.
He's got the helicopter after kind of money.
Be careful with those helicopters. But anyway, so as far as Benny versus the Penny who, as Danny likes to say, just check your local TV listings. I do have a couple of times the flagship of Benny versus the Penning in the Week seventeen episode with myself and Thomas Looney. The hub is NBC Boston, NBC Sports Boston, and the Celtics are playing tonight on Friday. I know they played the Pistons on Thursday. They got the Raptors tonight and that game is in Boston. I believe it's might be Entry.
I don't matter what it is either way. Because of that, we're going to be on a little later the debut Maiden Voyage in Boston. For Week seventeen, we'll be on back to back primetime late night TV, making late night television great again. On NBC Sports Boston. We'll be on there from eleven pm. First running at eleven pm, then an encore running at eleven thirty. That's after the Celtic and the Raptors.
You were right, that's in Boston.
Okay, So it is in Boston. And then we also have NBC Philly. We're on there at six point thirty, which is a good time to be on there. On NBC Sports Philadelphia, it must not be a game on We're in Chicago. We're on after the Blackhawks and the Stars. Little NHL action there will be on NBC Sports Boston Benny versus the Penny. If you're in Chicago or that area. It's also parts of Indiana, parts of Iowa, you get NBC Sports Chicago. We'll be on there at ten pm
Central time. And in the Bay Area, got a couple of showings on the Golden State Warriors channel and the Giants channel there six pm and ten thirty pm on NBC Sports Bay Area, so we've got that in. On the Sacramento Kings channel, we're on after the Kings play the Hawks at eight pm the Hawks Kings game in Atlanta, so that's early for the West Coast. And then we'll be on a couple of times well, I think the Lakers. I believe there's a Laker broadcast on Saturday, so we're
on a couple of times. Less in LA but we'll be on at six am and then three pm in La La Land on Spectrum Sports Net SoCal that's Danny's favorite channel. And then on Sunday the usual slot. Every week. We've had a very consistent I want to thank the people that sn why the Mets station, because they give us that time slot even if we don't deserve it, even if there's seven people in the Tri State area watching, they still give us that time slot eleven thirty AM.
So the way that works in New York, you watch that and then you flip over to the network pregame. You watch that, and then you flip over to the network pregame that's on New.
Year's pre pregame.
Exactly. It's like the warm up act for the pregame. I am such a radio loser. We do have the word of the week. Are you ready for the word of the week?
What word of the week?
Now, you could argue this is more than one word. You could make that argument, and I wouldn't probably disagree with you. This more than one word, But I consider it one word because this word goes with this word all the time, especially this weekend. The word of the week is more than one word. It's New Year's Eve, not two's three for one special, the three for one special, Danny g And obviously we know evening before the first day of the new year, which will be Sunday, Sunday,
Sunday Sunday. That phrase new Year's Eve goes back to the thirteen hundreds, how about that? And I was reading about this the Julian calendar began on January first, but the Christian Church did not like that because they didn't want the pagan celebrations evil pagans, and so they chose the feast of Anoxiation. I believe is how you say March twenty fifth, as that was supposedly their New Year's
day the Christian Church. And then at some point they changed it and they just the almanacs began on January first, But it is you know, is concealed. If they had gone the other direction, we would be celebrating New Year's on March twenty fifth, which would be very bizarre considering
how you know, we've lived our lives. But the calendar reform of seventeen fifty one restored the Julian New Year in England, and the New Year's was the main midwinter festival in Scotland in the seventeen hundreds, and so the word or words of the week New Year's Eve goes all the way back to the thirteen hundreds. But really for calendar purposes, the modern calendar that we all keep as men, women and children goes back to seventeen fifty one.
And as far as gatherings, I know, in America. Here everyone loves going to Times Square in New York and freezing their ass off and watching the ball drop because everyone loves balls dropping. Not the kind of balls I like.
Edited audios.
What that is wrong? But that started? New Year's Eve gathering in public places began in eighteen seventy eight in jolly old London Shout out Terry in England, and that was after they installed the bells. The new bells were installed in Saint Paul's and people were out there and they celebrated at one am. What a bunch of rebels. What a bunch of rebels. So anyway, word of the week New Years Eve is the word of the week.
Words of the Words a week.
Couple of footy notes before we get out of here, Danny, As you know, we're on a tight schedule. We have a network clock unless we don't. So there were actually some good food related stories, including burger King story out this week in the food world which people a getting all worked up at the fact that burger King giving discounts to people. Did you see this with hangovers? They're using facial recognition technology.
Oh I thought you had to blow into a breathalyzer at the drive through.
It might as well, but I would argue that anyone eating burger King at around one in the morning is likely hungover, right, I mean, I'm just, you know, all due respect to Burger King, I don't think they're an advertiser, but the program they're testing this out, it's gonna run until January second. And yeah, supposedly you going to Burger King and the little frazzle there burger King in Brazil.
This is in Brazil. By the way, They announced that they will be using facial recognition technologies scan customers faces to determine the degree of hangover detected and the size of the recommended combo and discount offered to remedy said hang on, So all right, well there you go. When's the last time he ate Burger King?
Nineteen ninety two.
And I bet you wish it had been like nineteen eighty nine, the last time he ate burger King?
Right, probably it was really good in the eighties and it's gone downhill.
Yeah, it was, it was pretty bad. There's some new food items, a crispy fish sandwich. Returning to Arby's, I know you love Arby's, Danny. You've been very supportive of Arby's here on the podcast. Then that'll be coming in twenty twenty four. The Crispy Fish sandwich returning. It's a big event there. Windy's has a one cent bacon cheeseburger this week and you got to get on that app to get it. Here's one if you're in Bakersfield, California.
We have some listeners in Bakersfield. Shout out to Rod, the ambassador of Bakersfield. Jack in the Box testing chicken and waffles in Bakersfield. Because when you think chicken and waffles, you think you think Jack in the Box, right, No.
I think Ross Goes but yeah, and I don't think fast food for chicken and waffles.
Probably not. Probably not. Taco Bell unveiled recently a new three cheese chicken flatbread melt. That's that's available. McDonald's has brought back something called the Prosperity Goldberger. You've got to go to South Korea to get it. So I think we're not gonna we're not going to get that. It includes it's a long patty. It kind of looks like the old Burger King chicken sandwich.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the one they used to cut in half.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like that. It's elongated burger and then they put a hash brown patty on top of it.
You know, maybe they still have that sandwich at Burger King. I think that's the last thing I ate there in nineteen ninety two. Oh, the long chicken sandwich and on and that long chicken sandwich.
Yeah, this burger if I'm mean to McDonald's, if I'm feeling like McDonald's, it looks all right. I guess the hash brown thing. It's not that audacious, it's not that ridiculous. But anyway, they're gonna be available. If you're happening to travel to South Korea through January twenty sixth of twenty twenty four, you can get your hands on that. See what else is anything else that really pops out in the food world? Here? Jack in the Box offering revamped twenty dollars Mega Munchi's.
Box, Smoke Weed every day.
Way to go on that? What do you got going on today?
Danny?
It's the last fry before we head into the big holiday weekend here. You're up early, right, you're up early, early early.
Today, DP one last day the hat trick we did Wednesday through Friday, nice.
Very good, and I will be nowhere appearing nowhere at all but TV. We've got Benny Versus the Penny, as I already hoored myself out and promoted earlier on the podcast. So have a wonderful, glorious rest of your day here, and don't forget we've got Fresh Pod on Saturday and Sunday. As to pick that button, follow along and support the show. We'll catch you next time.
Austa pasta got a murder. I gotta go