The Fifth Hour: "Meat Without Ben" Mail Bag

Kabooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the clearing House of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

In the air Everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mallor and Danny g Radio. As we slide into the Sunday portion of the Fifth Hour podcast.

As we are hanging out, we want to thank you guys.

The downloads have been great supporting the show. Was a wacky weekend last weekend, but we're back to the normal Shenanigans this weekend. It was great to catch up with the Godfather Eddie Garcia on the Friday pod and then on Saturday our buddy Nico who made that Van coover meet and Greek possible. So that was awesome to talk to him. But now Danny old school deep into the mail bag.

Yeah, you know, it was cool hearing Eddie too, because last weekend some of the drops and famous clips of the show that I put in our best of featured Eddie and Me and you and Coop when we were all together on the Overnight show, and I got some listener feedback saying, man, that was great hearing the classic crew together, and so that was perfect timing to have Eddie on this weekend.

Yeah, for sure.

So it was great to talk to Eddie about the hockey, which apparently no one's watching, but we talked about it anyway, why not and what the hell?

All right? So we have now.

The big open Oh yeah, full letters, ohio al.

And yeah, you know what, it's time for male mother.

It's very nice.

So thank you, ohio out Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.

We've been very You guys have been good.

Not us.

We haven't done anything different, but the.

Podcast has done well and so there's more people listening, there's more people that write, and so it's pretty cool. But you can if you want to join the fun and send a question in Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. All letters, not numbers, and the first one up is from PAULG. From Thomasville, Georgia. He says a long time Saint Petersburg, Florida. He says, all right, so I guess he's been in Thomasville, Georgia and Saint Petersburg, Florida. He says, I enjoy all the shows. I have a

All Right, I'm gonna say, Michael Jordan, Okay, solid be good, get right, Billy Martin.

Billy Martin, if we can get him, that would be amazing that we could bring him back to the other side.

Tommy Lasorda, Lasorda love Tommy.

And the Big It's a whale when you're really chasing this guest.

Yeah, Kobe Bryant, Oh well, Kobe, let me tell you something.

We could have a round table with Kobelsorta and Billy Martin.

Holy crap, you have.

Got to be Keddy me hosted by Michael Jordan because he needs the reps for when he joins NBC.

Yeah, that's right. And then like Larry King, because he's dead too, so he can come in there.

We can bring back Howard Cosell speaking of sport. Well, Paul, I think this.

Is a reasonable request.

I think I'm gonna have you book this, Danny, because you know how to book these things. He says, Pope Leo the fourteenth, he'd like to hear on the podcast.

So can you contact the Vatican?

Andy, you got President Trump to come on Fox Sports Radio, Why can't you get the Pope? Tell will bring White Sox fans.

Or whatever whatever. See if the Pope will call, the Pontiff will come on the show.

That would be the booking trifecta, Trump, the Pope, and then who's left after that?

Hi?

You Jesus?

Yeah, well if you can get Jesus now, that would definitely be the record.

So yeah, this guy, I would definitely put that on my LinkedIn.

He promote that, he says. Pope Leo the fourteenth. Now, he says, before you interview he guys all planned out, Danny. Paul says, before you interview him, announce archangel and arch angel, two of whom are Michael and Gabriel. I had a Catholic grade grade school, in high school education.

That's from pauls just keep up the good work.

Well, I have said, and I do not believe I'm wrong on this, Danny, that there is roughly a ninety percent chance that Pope Leo has heard Fox Sports Radio and has heard the Ben Maller Show, because he was at the World Series on the White Sox one and O five and in those years, Fox Sports Radio was on the score in Chicago at at night.

We were on there late at night, and so it is more.

Likely than not that in a big sports radio town like Chicago, that's a town where it's part of the culture of sport to listen to sports talk radio, that Pope Leo, who was just you know, a normal dude at that time, that he went to the White Sox game.

They played the then they were just the Astros.

They hadn't cheated at that point, the Astros White Sox win the.

World Series, and what do you do on sports talk radio at night?

And that's when Fox Sports Radio, the Ben Malor Show was on, and you know, weekends.

Then I don't know if you should have just announced that the Pope is a militia member, because William Shatner just blocked them.

Oh yeah, that's right.

Shattner's not going to allow that He's like, Nope, nope, nope, and Shatner, would I become an atheist?

I'm in command, I could order this.

Maybe he is anyway. I don't know anyway, So thank you. Paul Barry from South Carolina, and Barry met him at the Great Mallard Meet and greet we did in Charleston a while back, and he sends a letter in on the mail bag. He says, I'm in South Carolina for now, houses up for sale, but the market blows.

I just need to get this soul than I am out of here, he says, Yo, yo, mob Benny. Is it just me?

Or have Donut Kelly's calls gotten much worse since she moved to Iowa. She used to be a good caller. Yeah, I enjoyed Donut Kelly on the show. The quality of her work has gone down tremendously. And Danny, you know this from being a radio seasoned veteran. When you do call and talk radio and the people call up and say, hey, what do you want to talk about?

That's not normally how that goes.

I've had multiple people Donut Kelly's done that to me a couple of times.

There was a.

Guy from Colorado that started calling the show that did that also this week, Barry, It's like, no, like.

You call up.

If you have something to say, you say it. Try to use brevity, be quick, get to the point and get out.

That's it.

And yeah, so yeah, I don't know what's going on with Kelly, but she's she's found someone in her life, which is great. That's one of the new power couples. Shane in the Moines and Kelly into Moyne and they met because of the show.

But you're right, Barry, the calls have not been have not been great. Well, I should do a.

Like a YouTube video series on how to be a good sports talk radio caller or just what to avoid to be a crappy.

Caller, especially if you don't have like add because Rich Davis was playing hooky. He was at Dodgers Stadium to watch his beloved Mets lose to our Dodgers. Normally he's the gatekeeper. We take any call on Covino and Rich and he's uhuh huh, speed it up, speed it up, speed up. Or if any of us try to tell even a short story, you could see this look in his eyes. He wants you to tell no details, get to the point and shut up so he can talk again.

Yeah, yeah, there's there's an etiquette.

There's there's an etiquette to this. And then but as you know, Danny, at night, the etiquette.

Usually goes out the window. It just it just it just made it.

Alf from Deep in the Jungle rights in on the mail bag. He says, whatever happened to quicksand? When I was a kid, it seemed that every movie, TV show or cartoon had some sort of quicksand scene, And nowadays you don't see it at all. That's great, that's a great take by Alf. It is true, Daniel, we're around the same age. It's like every cartoon, movie, sitcom character got stuck in quicksand, and how were they gonna get out of it? Were they gonna die? And so at

And they pointed out that despite.

All of those movies and all those TV shows, that you can't actually drown in quicksand right that because you'll only it'll because of the way the human body is. I remember reading this. I forget exactly what it is because I don't have it. You in front of me and all that stuff, but you won't actually sink all the way where only your hand like you know on the TV show, like your eye up, your eyeballs and all that stuff. It's that's not actually not true at

On the internet.

And so, yeah, like the Scooby Doo Gang, somebody would get stuck.

In quicksand yeah.

The bad guy and then they pulled the mask off. Oh it wasn't for you meddling kids, I would have gotten away with it. Quang writes in from Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam, and he says this every week. I don't know if he's actually in Vietnam, probably not, but he.

Likes to say that.

He says Big Ben and Danny's Radio butterflying is a way to prepare meat, fish or poultry by cooking or cutting it almost in two, but leaving the two parts connected.

Yes, I love my steak.

Butterfly cut me and Rob Parker team butterfly a couple of.

Butterfly butterflied and burned.

Well, that's the way to eat meat, properly wrong.

You don't want to eat some kind of weird vermin or not vermin, but like yeah, worms or whatever.

Yeah, you cook the worms out of yours for sure, that's.

Right now, Quang says. Spatchcalking. That's what he says.

Excoo is a specific method of butterflying poultry that involves removing the backbone.

So that's you ever heard of that? Never ohing on? You know what? He's not making this up, It says.

Right here, there's a Martha Stewart on her website learn how to make.

Spatch cock chicken.

She's got Martha's got a step by step guide on how dispatchcock.

She definitely learned that dish while she was in prison. She can do it with both hands anyway.

Anyway, he says, a big man, We know how much you enjoyed the metal cock, but do you like spatch cocking?

That's a quay, Oh thank you for that. I haven't got to use the metal cock drop in a long time.

I was attracted to the giant metal cock on behalf of Dick and Dayton.

Quay says, well, remember years ago.

The game cocks and the famous hat go cocks from South Carolina, which I think I had a listener give me the gocock's hat. I believe my wife has actually stolen that hat. I don't know where it is right now, but yeah, I dispatch cock. You see that at like high end restaurants, Danny, the big time restaurants love dispatchcock. They do because it's whether you take the full chicken you chop it, and it's it's massive. I've seen that

So sure, if it's if you can, please don't ever say that word again.

Well, I will not say I will not say spatch cocking again. You want to say it, Danny said, say it right now.

You want to say it, say it all right?

Ryan writes in from Shrewsbury in the Commonwealth. He says, hey, boys, Ben, two weeks ago you had an ask Ben's segment on X but I don't think you ever saw my tweets, so I'll ask it here since you might be headed to Boston for the TV show hopefully. My bachelor party for my wedd is August twenty ninth, which is a Friday and part of a.

Saturday, the thirtieth.

If you are in town for the show around, then I would love to buy you a ticket to the socks Pirates game at fin Way Pack for my bachelor party. Ryan says, beers will be on me as well.

How about that? That's pretty nice.

Also, Danny g I can listen to Cavino and Rich from five to seven in Beautiful Shrewsbury, Mass show us the Love Man, So he would like, we don't do shout outs, but if you want to do a shout out Danny Shrewsbury, Mass for Ryan c Shrewsbury. He says, much love for the both of you.

Thank you. I do have a mild update.

I did hear from the people at end bees See as they continue to decide whether or not to bring back season three of Benny Versus the Penny.

I heard about this. They loved my Hoarder versus the Quarter idea A.

Great idea we're trying to come up with, like what what does the hoarder look like? You know, it looks like Tom Looney anyway, So I'm waiting. There are some meetings that are going to take place, so fingers crossed, you know, whatever kind of good mojo you got, because a number of you have said, boy, we want you to come back to Boston.

We want to do another meet and greet, and I guess out in Wooster the wu Socks. That's one of the events.

The Leprechaun and I didn't get a chance to meet alf the alien ol Pliner last year when we did a very brief get together outside Boba's Bakery on the North End.

So because there was a lot of rain and whatnot.

So again nothing, nothing's guaranteed. They haven't made any decisions. There are some meetings at the network over the next probably ten to fifteen days, and.

We will know after that whether.

Or not they're going to bring back season number three of the TV show. And we are optimistic, but we are realistic because it's a lot of money and they got to come up with the money.

And so there you go.

Reggie from Detroit writes and he says, hey, Ben have Coop and Lorena apologized for not inviting you to that dinner in Vancouver. I'm still shocked that they did this. You're the host of the show they work on. Me and my wife both are upset that they disrespected you that way. Well, thank you, Reggie. No, they have not, which I'm also shocked by it. I was very rarely my blown away by anything. I'm pretty mellow for the most part. I'll snap, Reggie, you've listened to the show.

Believe that it happened. I still can't believe it.

But they you know, hey, listen, they did what they did, and that's fine. And I was not raised that way. So whatever it's. You know, I'll do the show. But I think that that was a tough situation, Reggie.

Who the heck is justin Cooper.

Someone that doesn't invite you to a dinner on a trip that he got going.

Yeah, I don'tant to get it anyway.

I'll just say that that is a fresh wound. And I've been in radio thirty years. That's right near the top.

Of the biggest a hole moves I've ever seen in radio.

Frank and vanc met, Yeah without Ben, That's right exactly.

I hear these stories like, you know, Danny and Covino and Rich go on the road. You guys all bond, you know, go to dinners on my show. Let's not advice the host of the show man, I can't believe that. I still it just blows me. Anyway, Frank in Vancouver, who I did meet Frank, very nice man. He says, Hey, Ben, thanks for coming to Van City and thanks to Nico.

There you go. He was on yesterday. Frank, you did not know that when you sent this letter, and he.

Says, he says, Frank says, great meeting you and the crew all super friendly folks. Puts a new perspective when listening to the show. It personalizes the listening experience. Sounds weird, but I think you get the drift. Yes, email continues from Frank on the mail bag. He says, and I hope you found the poutine experience satisfactory.

At a minimum. I did. I loved it.

Every place I went was great, no complaints at all. Everything was first class, even the Costco thing. As I talked to Eddie about I'm still amazed that right across the street, Danny, from the Canucks Arena and the stadium where the CFL team plays, they have a Costco food.

Court and Nico.

I mentioned this with Nico yesterday, but the guys would go there and load up for tailgating with cheap Costco food.

It's amazing. That is awesome.

It is really just awesome. Anyway, says I forgot to mention. We got some places that serve great baba ganooche in the city. Well, next time I'm in Vancouver, I'll have to go for the egg plant baba ganoush.

He says. Keep up the great entertainment, and you and Danny and I will relay. I relayed.

Frank says, I related to my wife not to be hard on you for being the last voice I hear every night, as opposed to hers. I drift into unconsciousness every night. Thank you that is from Frank. Well, thanks Frank for following up. Was very kind of you to do that. Nice to meet you. Glad we got to hang out and now we're friends, Frank, because if you're at the Mala meet and greet, we bonded. There was

It was awesome. So we're pals and I'd love to go back to Vancouver.

It was beautiful, just a majestic city, great skyline, great parks.

It was really cool.

And he basically said, you're like a melowtonin Gummy you put people to sleep.

Well there's that, and also Danny, I've heard this a lot from like, sometimes dudes will drag their wives, you know, and some of the women are pretty cool and they kind of get the show. A lot of them do not get the show, and they're like, you know, I don't understand why it's late at night and my husband has to listen, and then all of a sudden you'll start screaming about Lebron James.

Well, you know, guilty as charge.

What do you want to It's a talk show, and sometimes things.

I think they think at that time, at those hours, you should be doing like quiet storm radio.

Yeah, it's just not I'm not wired.

I like the juicy flavorful uh. Sports takes is what I what I enjoy. I did also hear from several fans of the show, several fans of the show who were like, you know, I started listening to you and I loved sports, but now I don't like sports as much, but I still listen.

You know what I mean, Danny, It's like they don't really care about my sports takes.

Should I be offended by that or should I be flattered by that?

I'm not sure.

I think you should be flattered because that just means you're doing great talk radio or you know, not just sports talk.

It's just yeah, it's just background.

Conspiracy Carl writes in and we haven't heard from him. I think he goes back to the gascon era of the Fifth Hour. Pody, it's been a minute, because curiousy Carl. He always loves when we have the vegan on because the vegans all about that action boss. Anyway, Conspiracy Carl, who lives in Palm Springs, he says, I'm back.

No, he must have finished watching the TMC YouTube show about the Fifth Plane.

Yeah, he says he wanted to get our reaction to the declassified CIA files that claim a government program found alien life on the dark side of the Moon. Conspiracy Carl says this happened more than twenty five years ago, and that there's supposedly a secret complex of towers and buildings on the Moon's surface where the aliens worked, and he brought this up because we had mentioned this in

Well some of us know about it, So I buy it. Anything's possible.

Yeah, I believe the kid, that kid in Vegas that saw the nine ten foot aliens with big eyes.

Big guys that're looking at us. Yeah.

Well, when I go to Vegas, Danny, and you too, if you try, I know, you fly, I guess. But when I drive, I stop in Baker at alien beef Jerky, and I see them right there. They have their own little hotel which is disguised as a hotel, but it's actually a space shit.

It's not a space ship, but it's a station. First station.

You wouldn't say the space shit in that area because isn't there also a hotel right there that's boarded up?

Well, no, there was, but they built behind alien beef Jerky.

Oh okay, all right, so they bulldozed that condemned old hotel that used to be there.

Then, Yeah, well I don't know if they did or not.

Bun Boy still there? Is that what it's called pun Boy? Remember thes that closed years ago? I think that was called bunboyn't.

Yeah, I'm not sure, but it's like, it looks very like fifties and nineteen sixties where it must have been booming right there, and then it got old and then they never updated it and then it just got condemned.

Yeah.

And if you're not in California and you have no idea what we're talking about, it's one of the stops on the way to Vegas.

Between LA and Vegas, you go through.

Ville, Apple Valley, Barstow, Baker prim and then finally you get into Nevada, and yeah, Prims, Nevada, and then you get to Vegas, which is about an hour outside of the state line.

And all these little towns on the.

Way to Vegas, and what about they have a date I've never had a date shake. Have you ever had a date shake? Never, there's a date shake place on the way to Vegas.

I've never doesn't sound no, it does not sound good.

It sounds like you'd need another stop a half hour later for the bathroom.

Yeah, the truck stops must do very well out there. Mary Anne writes in from Murphysboro, Tennessee.

She says, hey, band and Danny g I enjoy your podcast as well as your nightly show.

Ben.

Although I am fairly certain you don't follow college softball, I think these young women deserve a shoutout.

You often talk.

About the major league players, their need for time off between games, complaints about travel, and the diva like behavior. Pussy Willows. I love that, Mary Anne put he She wrote here, Pussy Willows.

Remember one that was a Clay Travis That was Yes, that was most definitely a Clay travisism he used, He used pussy Willow and Dick Cheney.

Yeah, Well, wasn't the the pussy Willow. Thing is I remember what.

You're crying, you pussy Willow.

Well, didn't he originally just say pussy?

And then yeah he did, he got he got uh, he got it speaking to on that and then also he said dick and uh I told him, Clay, you can't just say dick like that. So he's like, oh, fun I'll say Dick Cheney then and that's how that start.

That's funny.

Yeah, I remember the memo got sent out, like you can't say pussy, but for some reason the flower pussy Willow, you're allowed say.

I'm sure that'll solve it.

Uh.

Anyway, Marianne writes contigures right, and she says these softball players are just the opposite of those overpaid diva players. They are enthusiastic, love playing the game, all while attending college. The pitchers are incredible, often throwing over one hundred pitches and pitch again the very next day, just like the big leaguers.

Right.

Anyway, their season is over now, but felt these young women deserve a shout out and for you to put them on the radar. Well, Marianne, as you know, we don't do shout outs. You'd have to contact cameo. On the cameo, I might do a shout out anyway, she says, I'm eighty three years old. I'm a mother, grandmother, and great grandmother. God bless you. Who is a fan of

Like that's the next one down the line.

She says, I was never very athletic, hence I am a fan of your show and your rants.

Is that a shot shot to me?

That feels like he has seen the footage of your first pitch you threw out in Bakersfield.

Marianne, that is a backhanded shot. How dare you?

It's one thing when I'm taking shots from mister nice guy or some of these other jabbronis that call the show? But Mary, sweet little grandma from Murphysboro, Tennessee.

Nobody throws a lollipop like mister Maller. He could be the third Necro brother, remember that, Jeez.

Racist, I used to like your show, and then I can't believe you would say that on the air. Oh my god, I'm so offended, you said Crow on the air.

Oh my God, that was Eden Spokane.

I think that got me to say that that schmuck. Anyway, that line what a famous line by Marianne. She says, I was never very athletic, hence I'm a fan of your show.

All right, what's next?

Stevens oh Cayl writes in says, hey, Ben and Danny enjoyed the pod quick yay or Nate?

Question?

And then Steve says A restaurant and Florida sued a diner recently who left abusive and disrespectful reviews on yelp.

Yay or nay?

Uh?

I don't know.

I don't know much about it. I don't if you saw this, Danny. I'm just reading the headline here. I don't know much about it. If there's more to it, but based on just the headline, I'm gonna go, Nay, what are you doing?

You know?

You know you're bringing more attention to it unless there's more to the story than I know, which is probably absolutely the case, like you're bringing more oxygen?

What exactly happened? All right?

So Dateline Florida or Tampa, Florida restaurant sues diner who left a negative review on Yelp. They apparently didn't like it when she called their meat quality subpar and air ribs dry.

Really the restaurant, I don't think the name of it.

They specialize in innovative, inspired, seasonal new Asian food. They follow a lawsuit against the woman after she left a one star review following her visit.

This goes back to December of.

Twenty twenty three, and the woman went in there with some friends. They had tiger shrimp, lamb chops, spare ribs, eggplant, and mushroom chocolate cake during the visit.

And this is like the one star reviews you and Gascon used to get when you had politicians on the show.

Except pretty much every week, it says, who is a blogger?

I guess this woman? Okay, so now, so this woman is like a food blogger. Oh okay, now it makes sense. He's got a little she's got a following. She's got a.

Following on Yelp and Google and trip Advisor and all that stuff.

She wrote a seven hundred and ninety five word review. She's got a little too much free. I'm on her hands.

Oh my god, seven hundred and ninety five words for a for a Asian restaurant. In Tampa, a New Asian innovative. Oh my god, all right, now, I kind of now that I've read the details, Danny, I.

Support the restaurant. See the details matter. Uh see, there you go. All right, thank you, Steve. I appreciate you.

Unless they wronged her in some way or stole some money from her or something like that. Come on, chick, get a life.

Yeah that's a little much, you know, couple lines.

No one's reading all that anyway, right, who's reading a seven hundred and ninety five.

Word I mean, you would hope not. I remember my cousin up in the Bay Area. He dated a girl and she would write these really really long reviews no matter where they ate at.

And I told him, I'm like, how can you live with her?

I'm pretty sure she writes you a weekly review on how you've treated her.

Yeah, that's imagine her diary with that. Lord, Oh my god, what a nightmare. Yeah.

Well, he's like, you're right, I got a one star last week.

It's like that that meme and I'm not reading all that, you know, sorry it happened, or yeah, like try.

To get to even if you're gonna be a reviewer or a wanna be food reviewer, all right, but tell us in two paragraphs, how about that?

Yeah, it's food was good, you should eat this, or food was bad?

Yeah, pros and cons. That's it.

One paragraph for pros, one paragraph for cons.

Yeah, and and just a couple of lines and then that's accepted and we're good and we move on. And that's how that works, all right. A couple more quick ones. Kevin in Boston or the Boston area, He says, Since I saw the video this week from southern California, I thought of YouTube, gents, and he's talking about that mountain lion video from I think that's near Santa Barbara.

Have you seen that, Danny the viral? Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, yeah, he says, have you guys ever run into a mountain lion? No, I would probably be eaten. That mountain lion was pern like you know what, dude, That mountain lion was ready to enjoy a nice meal.

Where we live in the hills on the border of La and Ventura County, we saw a baby mountain lion on our trail back behind where we live, and I told Brenda, you better start walking fast because there's a mama somewhere near this baby.

Yeah, you're not gonna be able to outrun a mountain lion. Those things are you talk about being ripped stacked? Holy crap, man, it's crazy to think about all the stuff that's in the hills around where we live, all the critters and.

Yeah, and now with that wildlife crossing where I live, there's going to be at least three more.

Well, the good news is you don't have to worry about being damaged by the animals because they'll just cross the street right then, they'll just or the bridge there over the freeway, and so they won't bother human beings because they totally know that's for them.

The bridge is for them.

And it'd be nice they have the little lake on there, don't they have, like the lake and all that on top.

Of the bridge.

Oh, there's a porta potty for them. Party out standing, all right, we'll get out on that.

I will be back tonight in the Magic Radio box, yapping.

Away about the NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup Finals and our favorite June stories about Aaron Rodgers and all the other nonsense, and then Danny and normal week for you, Yes, you and Covino and Rich what do we have to look forward?

Yeah, yes, sir, a normal fun week Monday through Friday. Gonna be doing our thing two to four pm on the West Side on FSR, and that is five to seven pm. And beautiful Shrewsbury, Massachusetts.

That's right, home of a man who's about to get married. Ryan.

Just another couple months and then that's it. It's turnout, the last the parties over.

Now, it'll be great. All right.

We'll talk to you tonight on the radio. Thanks for listening to podcast. And again, if you want to send a mail bag question in for next week Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com, we'll talk to you next time.

Oh yeah, all right. Enjoy the NBA Finals, appreciate it. I don't know if I'm enjoying it, but I will be watching it. So what's wrong with your clippers? Later, skater got a murder. I gotta go.