Kubbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere.
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio, A Happy Saturday to you.
We have arrived here.
The twenty first day of the month of June, a celebration of National Selfie Day today. And I've been doing this podcast long enough that I recall this day. I don't know if we did this last year or a couple of years ago, but it is National Selfie Day. And the stat on this, the fun fact on this
which blows me away. The first selfie widely credited to somebody named Robert Cornelius, and who the f was Robert cornelis He was an American chemist and is considered one of the founding fathers of photography, which kind of obvious. He's one of the first people to do a selfie. Now, the thing about this, this goes all the way back to eighteen thirty nine. This guy, Robert Cornelius, had to sit still, perfectly still for ten to fifteen minutes to
create the first intentional self portrait. So imagine in eighteen thirty nine what the world must have been like. I mean, that's only sixty some odd years A little over that, the birth of America and the world's first selfie. Robert Cornelius the earliest form of photography utilizing natural light and silver transfers, and it was born. And it wasn't from that point until the nineteen seventies, So from eighteen thirty nine to the nineteen seven so we're talking about one
hundred and thirty some odd years. And then ted all about the digital. It was all about the digital. A company came up with a way to do digital photography, the dawn of the digital age. The first digital camera was invented in nineteen seventy nine, and then it wasn't until another decade plus that the first global social media website started, MySpace. MySpace is huge, as my old colleague Karen Kay said back in the day, and Facebook debuted in the early two thousands, and so that was that
was the beginning. And then the next big change was in two thousand and two the Nokia Phone and the Sanyo Phone. They debuted camera phones, and then ever since then watch out. There is no stopping, no stopping the selfies. So today National Selfie Day. On this podcast, though, we go swimming with the marlin. Swimming with the marlin, as in the Marlin Man, and who goofed? I've got to know?
The phone edition, who Goofed? I've got to know? And we'll have some phrases, probably more than one phrase of the day, but we'll begin with this. So, once upon a time, a very long time ago, a strange thing.
Happened on a very high mountain in the north Woods.
That was early on a random Sunday night or late on a Saturday, and yours truly was lounging around. It's very early or very late, depending on how you look at these things, and the decision was made to take a bath to decompress from the week that was. The wife was away, she was at work, she was working an extra shift, so I was alone. Got a random text, I'm in the bathtub and I get a text and it's from a number that I had not received a
text from in some time. And I was like, oh, who's this And their name pops up and it says Lawrence, and I was like, wait a minute, I know Lawrence. I only know one person named Lawrence, and it's not Trevor Lawrence in my life.
In my phone.
There's one person in my phone, I believe right now named Lawrence. And he goes by the moniker Martlin's Man. Now, keep in mind, I had not heard from mar Oland's Man in many, many months. I had not seen Marlin's Man in a couple of years. So he sends me a text. He says, Hey, I'm heading to Los Angeles. I'm on a plane. I'm at the airport here in Florida. I'm flying on a very early morning flight to his time, heading to California, and I'm going to beat the Dodger game.
It's the primetime Sunday night game Dodgers in Los Angeles and they're playing the Padres or not the Pidters, the Giants. He says, are you going to the game.
I'd like to see you?
So all right back, I said, listen, I'm very excited that you're going to be at a Dodger games. I haven't seen you in.
A long time.
I'm very happy for that, but I will not be at the game. I then explained how the Dodgers had cut me off. They had stonewalled me the PR department for the Dodgers since they got Shohio Tani. Despite almost thirty years of covering the Dodgers, they decided that I was not worthy of being there on a regular basis. So a few minutes later I sent that to Marlin's man. I explained the whole deal. I said, listen, I've been replaced by seven reporters from different news outfits in Japan,
and I get it. They're making more money. I guess they don't value the overnight show, which is on a station which is almost owned, like half of it by the Dodgers. Anyway, So Marlin's man text me back and he says, hey, listen, I want you to go to the game.
I'll get your ticket. You want to go, I'll get you a ticket right next to me.
And without missing a beat. Now I had other plans. I said, hell, yes, yes, what time do I need to be there? It was that simply said, listen, do you still have the same email. I'm gonna transfer the ticket over to you. So he sent me the ticket. He didn't send me parking, which I'm okay with. So I got to the stadium, and that in itself was an issue because remember last weekend, the civil unrest was going on. There was a lot of animosity. There's still
a lot of animosity in the LA area. But the off ramp, all of them, all the off ramps from the one oh one Freeway, which is what I take to get to downtown LA.
I normally will get off.
I know all the streets in LA because I used to live down there and I've been there a million times to Dodger Stadium, and it's much easier to get into Dodger Stadium from a couple of streets which are not right off the freeway.
You get off the one oh.
One and you make your way through and you can get there pretty quick. But the problem was everything was closed, so all of the routes or routes that I normally take to the ballpark I couldn't take. There were highway patrol LAPD fully armed loaded all that blocking every on ramp and off ramp. So this ended up adding about two hours. Roughly, it was like an hour and a half to two hours of my commute to the ballpark.
So I finally get there, and I realized that, wait a minute, if I park here, it is going to be a freaking nightmare.
And I like to save a couple of bucks when I can.
So the Dodgers, they claim they don't own the parking lots at Dodger Stadium and all that stuff, but whoever does own the parking lots at Dodger Stadium is making a killing because there is no real public transportation at Dodger Stadium. You got to take a bunch of trains, planes, buses and all that stuff. So the parking at Dodger Stadium is forty dollars for general parking.
Forty bucks, all right.
So I remembered because I would park here back when I was in good standing with the Dodgers. I would park down the hill near the La Fire Academy, and it's like a fire building. They have a gymnasium and all that stuff, And that's the overflow parking. It's not technically in Dodger Stadium property. It's down down, not at the bottom all the way, but it's like halfway down the hill, and.
So I go.
I was like, wait a minute, I can park here, And I said, five dollars dollars twenty twenty five.
You can pay five dollars five dollars.
To pay for parking. Now, there was one problem that I did not factor in. I did the arithmetic here and I did not factor this in the problem. It was a scorcher. It was like ninety five degrees in Los Angeles on Sunday. And so I paid the woman for the parking five dollars on the credit card, no cash, and then I get out of the car and I have to walk all the way up the hill. Now this is a social event. I'm not working, so I have to walk all the way up there. And I'm like, listen,
I'm in. I spend my time on the treadmill.
I can do that. It's not that I can't.
Do it, But how am I going to appear when I get to Dodger Stadium on a ninety five degrade degree day with no shade. So I start walking one foot in front of the other. You know, that's how all great journeys begin. I've read that somewhere. So by the time I get to the ballpark, I am hand to God.
Covered in sweat.
It appears that I've just taken a bath and my clothes are drenched. So I get you use the ticket. I get to the ballpark and I immediately go to the bathroom on the reserve level. I go to the bathroom. I then grab as many paper towels as I can get my hands on as many of them, and I start trying to dry myself off because I've got to see Marlin's man, Lawrence, and I don't want to look
like a slub. So here I am grabbing these paper towels and I'm in a fever pitch, trying to drive myself off the glamorous life of a big time overnight radio star unless I'm not. But I'm sitting in the front row. All the rich people, all the big shots, they sit down there. So I then had to find Marlin's man. This was a problem. I couldn't find it. I get down all the way down, I take the escalators down. I actually ran into Rick Monday, and I explained to Rick. On my way down, I said Rick
real quick, I waved him. He was kind of surprised to see me. I've known Rick for many many years since I was a kid, and Rick was kind of taking it back, and I just quickly said, I said, listen, I'm not really allowed out here much anymore, but I.
Just want to say hello, something along those lines. And then that was it.
So again I'm still covered in sweat. I'm trying to find Marlin's man. I get down there, he's not there. I send him a text. He doesn't right back, so I'm looking around now. The good thing is he always wears that orange Marlin shirt. He has the orange hat, and so he stands out like a throbbing orange thumb.
All these people were in Dodger blue.
There were a few Giants fans, and then there's Marlins Man and he's wearing his orange Marlin's Jersey's got the signature hat, the whole thing, which at one point about six or seven years ago was a very popular Halloween costume for many many years. And he was also late because of the traffic in downtown.
La, the civil unrest and all.
He had the same issues I had, except he had it worse because he is not familiar. He only comes to La occasionally, not very awful. So we finally a long story short, we finally connect. Now keep in mind, in between the time I'm waiting for Marlin's Man, I grabbed a single cup of ice water to try to cool down my internal temperature. I then go back to the luxury bathroom.
Where all like the rich f's.
Hangout, like all the very important people hang out, and I'm I'm still sweaty.
What do you think I did?
That's right, yes, I grabbed a bunch of paper towels and started wiping the shits, as my grandfather would say, off my body. I was still worried about my appearance. I was like, this is embarrassing, and I got a good deal, I say, thirty five dollars on parking. However, I ended up looking like I had been in hot yoga and it was It was awkward. So again we connected Marlin's Man, and fortunately he didn't seem to notice
that my clothing was still drying. He was very cordial, very polite, dapper man, Marlin's Man with the orange outfit, and he's also a very big tipper. Marlin's Man's got a couple of bucks, so he's a very big tipper. And he takes care of the people that work at the different ballparks, and so everyone when he walks in, like there's a battle between the people that serve the food.
And there's like a pecking order.
And I've been there enough with Marlin's Man over the years, where this is the Kramdala Krem. The richest of the rich get these tickets buying on plate and some very wealthy people in La that work at movie studios and our executives at tech companies and our so But Marlin's Man when he walks in, the waiters come over. They want him to work with them because you know, he'll get any table he wants, but he'll pay a large amount in terms of tipping.
So he hooks us up. The server. The gentleman who came up hooks us up. I think his name was d or something.
Anyway, he hooked us up with a table and it was a freeloaders paradise, freeloaders paradise. I went for the chicken palm sandwiches. Now there was some high end seafood, really good seafood if you're into that kind of thing, which many of.
The people there were enjoying.
And I went for the chicken parm sandwich where they were a chef's kiss, the perfect ratio of chicken, not too thick, not too thin, fried to perfection, covered in nice, delicious cheese. And then they had the perfect sauce sauce to chicken.
The cheese ratio.
I also had some chicken enchiladas. Why not little garlic Little Mexican had some garlic bread with the chicken palm and the enchiladas and all that.
Like a hodgepodge.
I just it's like a pot luck, except there was a lot of luck, a lot of luck, and so it was a hodgepodge of goodness. It was delicious, and I tossed in some Father Day Father's Day cupcakes. They had this big spread of cupcakes. I posted some photos on social media. It was a marvelous culinary experience. Now I should also point out, and it is interesting to note that I was not there as just the only guest of.
Marlin's Man, Because when Marlin's.
Man goes to a game, Lawrence likes to socialize and he always invites a group of people and we become friends for that day and over the years going to these games, I have befriend did everyone from executives at companies, major companies that have gone here, to models, you name it, and it's like a whole you never know who's going
to be there. So Marlin's man invited a couple of his other friends, and one was an actor who has been in a bunch of random roles, like one of those guys you kind of know who he is, but you're not really sure. He also worked at a high profile job in Stanford, Connecticut, traveled around with professional.
Wrestling, so he was there.
And then the other gentleman also worked in entertainment as well. Both these guys were living in New York. Now, the other guy that was I'm not really familiar with exactly what he did, but he he ended up. He ended up originally from LA. He moved to New York and he had a lot of money. And I'm not giving any names here, so tell some more details. But the other guy was looking to buy a place, like he flew out, went to the Dodger game and he's like telling him.
He's like, yeah, I'm looking to buy a place.
In LA And he's like explaining that he's gonna buy a like a high end luxury condo and so I was like, oh, you got that kind of money.
He's like, you know, you buy a house.
And then he's explaining, He's like, yeah, I got a lot of my friends have had home invasion robberies, which has been a big problem. A lot of it doesn't get reported on since they try to downplay that stuff.
They try to keep it on the down low.
The athlete thing gets reported a lot when their houses get broken into.
It anyway, So the guy's like, yeah, I'm looking at some.
Real estate here and I decided to go to the game. And he's like a Yankees fan, but he's okay with the Mets. The other guy's a Mets fan and he's okay with the Yankees, which is odd, right, He's odd because the guy that's the the guy's the Yankees fan lives.
He's from Long Island, and anybody that knows New York, I mean from there. I've got family there.
The rule is generally, if you're in the city or a Yankee fan, and if you're over on the side there on Long Island, you are a fan of the Mets because that's the local team. Anyway, things are all messing. So that was the group of people that I was with, and we were schmoozen wall eating, and even though I am a full on introvert and it's very awkward for me to converse with random people that I've never met, I actually enjoyed the conversation.
You know, there's a couple of guys talking ball. You know, we were talking ball.
We were all talking about what we do for our careers, and Marlin's Man was really pumping me up, which made me feel good because these guys were kind of big shots and he was pumping me up. He's a fan of the show and he misses Eddie and we were talking about some of the old days on the show when he called in and all this stuff. Now, a lot of what we talked about is not fit for broadcasts, and it's the private conversation and I'm not going to
talk about that. But Marlin's Man told some stories, some I'd heard, some I had not heard. He also knows a lot of very important people at Major League Baseball. Marlin's Man because of his job in his real life and his travels around baseball.
Everyone knows him because of the outfit and he's a very nice guy.
And so he is around people that tell him stuff like the inner workings of Major League Baseball. And so he'll tell me things he's heard. You know, who knows if it's true or not. I believe most of it's probably very true because things he's told me in the past have happened long after that. Unfortunately, I cannot use that stuff on the air because I'll get cut off.
So it's one of those weird things.
Like I know stuff that's going to happen, yet I can't do it. And I'm not a journalist. I'm a talk showist. I'm an opinion guy. Talk show is a columnist on the radio. We're not there to report the news. We are just there to give opinions on what happens and to occasionally going to no Stradamus mode, distant relative of no Stradamus, friend of no stradenis and all that stuff.
So he told me some stuff I can't repeat. So then it's right before first pitch, and about twenty minutes before first pitch, we're still inside because very hot Marlin's man Lawrence is like, listen, we're gonna go out right before the game. It's too hot. I did this before when I was hot. Here there's no shade. We're just gonna wait. Okay, fine, so there you go, and we my phone starts blowing up. I was getting all these messages about half an hour before the game.
I told the story a.
Little bit on the radio, but found out first one in the group to find out that the Higants had traded with the Boston Red Sox for Raffie Devers. And then that became buzz. Everyone was talking about. They were putting their cupcakes and their cookies down, and they're like, can you believe this? Unbelievable. So we watched the game, had a good time. He had a lot of junk food during the game as well. The Dodgers ended up winning the game, and Marlin's Man.
Had told us, he says, listen, let's get out of here. There's like one out to go in the ninth finning or whatever is. He got to get out of here. So I did what I was told to do.
Part of the group we left again one out before the game endn't and Marlin's Man had to get out of Dodge and get out of the ballpark. Hit back to lax for a flight to Florida. He also attended the Florida Panthers clinching the Stanley Cup on Tuesday night. He was sent me a bunch of photos from the celebration. He's sitting right against the glass at the game. Now, leaving Dodger Stadium was also a bit of an opposite go. I had the same issue I had coming into Dodger Stadium with a slight change.
Now, as you might remember, because I just told the story a few minutes ago. Since I parked.
Down the hill the cheap five dollars a lot, I was able to circumvent much of the traffic. Unfortunately, not only were the off ramps closed, the on ramps to the highway were closed. So this presented a problem. I was at the mercy of the LAPD and the Traffic Department of Los Angeles, La City to direct me on where I needed to go. They decided it would be fun to f with with Ben.
How did they decide to f with Ben?
Well, the roads were all closed, and so they directed me through downtown Los Angeles and the people that were very upset with ice were there and they were making a lot of noise. This was like the ground zero for the protesting. You had cops on one side, you had people on the other side.
I've never seen that.
Many Mexican flags, even in Mexico, but they were holding up their flags and a lot of foul signs, upset with the cops. It was quite the show. Quite the show. I did not expect to be in the show. Now nothing happened to me. I was stunned, though. How many buildings had f this f that graffiti on them. I'm pretty sure the people doing the graffiti, that's the only thing they know how to write on the wall. At this point, what an I saw what an iesore and
it was disappointing. There's some really nice buildings that were totally jacked up. It made me a little sick, a little nauseated. And I know all that stuff will eventually be cleaned up and it'll cost a lot of money. But I did make my way out of the matters. Now I had to head back to the mother ship
because there was show to do. I had a talk show to do, So I left and made my way to the station, and then I went all the way in the back to the very very back where the door is broken, and proceeded to prepare the final elements for the overnight show. So that was my trip with Marlin spent this week.
Who Goofed? I've got to know? Who Goofed? I've got to know.
And they did fix the phones finally on Friday, but it was a bit of a long week. In fact, you might be able to tell here we are even on a Saturday, and my voice is.
Still a little a little off, a little off.
And did a lot of extra talking on the talk show, a lot of extra talking. So as you know, I'm on my own. I lived the island life every night. My partner in crime for years was Eddie Garcia. The company determined that they decided to whack Eddie and they didn't replace him, so they just put like you know, recorded updates on so fine, I said, I.
Can do the show. I've always prepared to do the show fin.
So kind of replacing Eddie, I will mix in phone calls so it's not just my voice, because Coop doesn't talk and Lorena doesn't talk that much, so I will mix in callers as an element on the show.
So that's that's kind of the way I've been doing it. Well, the phones are all messed.
Up, they're not working, so I just have to keep calling and going and the you know, the do hickey, We couldn't get that working. The thing I'm a bob wasn't what right, the gadget malfunction.
You know, the mercy of the equipment.
And this was actually the phone company.
They were the ones that had f this up.
I don't know how that happens, but it happened, and we made it through the week, barely made it through the week. Somehow blind Scott was able to get in. He got in, and I think it was Eric, the introvert from the train town in Illinois. He got in multiple times. But I was getting email from super fans of the show that called the show very upset.
They think that I was involved in this. They were like, oh man, you gotta fix the phone. I gotta get it, like this is.
Their hobby, is calling the show and being a character on the show, and they were very upset and they demanded that I fix it, like I have some kind of technical expertise, which, by the way, spoiler alert, I don't. But somebody fixed the phones, so we should be good for another I don't know, twenty five years until the phone's break again, and then we'll move on to something else. Time now for the phrase of the day. That's right, the phrase of the day.
The phrase of the day. A two for one blowout.
Special will start with the phrase of the day, happy wife, happy life. Happy wife, happy life. So to have a good life, it has been said you need to have a good wife. And when the wife in a family is happy, then everyone else is happy. And if a wife is not happy, no one's happy. Now that phrase, happy wife, happy life, it goes back. I did research on this. It goes all the way back to nineteen o three, but not before that. There's no documentation of that before nineteen o three.
And it is interesting the node as.
The late Great Vin Scilly would say that in nineteen oh three in the final verse of a a choice bit of doggerel called the work of wages party, where the words have been not more than a congarease, but used in expressing casualty. It's a lot of mumbo jump, but that makes sense.
But here's what it said.
It said, I'm a work and wages party man, like a political group. I say that's what I am. You'll find me true and hearty man, for that is what I am. Now let's rejoice to end the strife with all the kids in Clover. A happy wife, a happy life, that's the line, and a jolly good turnover.
So courier research done concerning this particular phrase.
The belief is the phrase happy wife, happy life obviously a true idiom, but it comes to describe obviously what family's going all the way back to the late eighteen hundreds.
Which phrase was actually used.
Way before in nineteen oh three. It just wasn't in document documented writing until nineteen oh three. Anyway, the woman's mood needs to be good or else no one's happy in the family. Now I mentioned a two for one blowout, a sale on the phrase of the day. How about chill pill? Chill pill, that imaginary pill, calming and soothing, a medication used to relax. Now, this is a colloquialism that is used when someone is worked up into a lather.
Down. Dude, take a chill pill. Take a chill pill.
Now, it turns out the term was actually first used all the way back in the eighteen hundreds, way back then, describing a pill that was meant to fight off literally the chills that were associated with a high fever. So if you had a fever, you took this pill, and it's a chill pill.
You'd stop dealing with that.
It contained a bunch of random medicines. Even some black pepper oil was in there. And this was very little relation to the chill pills of the nineteen eighties. These were prescribed for children who were believed to have suffered from ADHD eight, and the thought is by some that the two were related in some way maybe a stretch. However, other people believe it is related. So the term chill
became popular in the late seventies. Today, chill pill is used or chill out when needing someone to calm down.
It's like, hey, just take a chill pill. Just just do it. Just take a chill pill, all right. That is that, We'll put the baby to bed.
I will have a mail bag for you on the Fifth Hour podcast. I don't know if Danny's going to be there or not, but we'll have the mail bag either way tomorrow on Sunday. Have a wonderful, glorious rest of your Saturday. Got an NBA Finals Game seven tomorrow? Tomorrow tomorrow?
Will the thunder choke this away? Is Indiana?
They're gonna steal a championship from OKC developing hot dot dot dot.
We will talk about that.
More as we get into it, and the mail bag and all that. I have you a wonderful day. We'll talk to you next time. And as Danny would say, asta pasta laid skater, and I would say, a rivaderce.
Aloha by Felicia