The Fifth Hour: Maller's Lump of Coal

Kabbooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

Wow.

The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

In the a eywhere The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny G. We thank you for following this podcast, paying attention to the podcast, actually listening to the podcast as we kick off the first weekend of the news show the new Year, the.

Year of the Dragon.

I am told here the fifth day of January and Danny G is hanging out. I know this is the highlight of your this and having to do multiple jobs today, but here we are, Danny, we're gonna make the most of it, right, We're gonna make the.

Most of it.

Multiple jobs and a baby that's teething, which, as all parents know, it's a lot of fun, A good thing. He's cute and adorable. Otherwise I would put tape over his mouth.

Yeah, Well, the baby knows that he has you and your wife in the palm of his hand.

So there is that. There is that.

On this podcast, we have a Box from the Bay, a Jim Mora classic, the Word of the Week, and foody fun.

So that's the plan. Now.

I don't know if we'll get to all that. We probably won't, write, Dan, we usually don't get to everything.

To about seventy percent of whatever you promise. Yeah, yeah, well.

That's always the problem.

See, that's the problem is like I spend too much time thinking about what can we talk about on the podcast, and then when we actually have to do the podcast, because we follow the goal then rule of podcasting thirty minutes. There's a sweet spot give or take within five minutes margin of error.

Thirty minutes for a podcast.

That's the We're not doing Joe Rogan's seven hour podcasts over here, Okay, we're not because no, no.

This is perfect for a workout, for a walk, for a commute. That's what this is for. And by the way, if I can take two minutes, ben, Yes, what is the cutoff date for people saying Happy New Year?

Yes?

I learned this from Larry David. The cutoff is, like I think it's three days.

That's it.

That's what I think too. Hey, hear this a lot on the radio. Your show and Covino and Rich. We don't have guests, Yeah, we don't have boring writers or boring this or boring that talking. But I've heard guests on a couple of different networks and they say happy New Year, like a couple of weeks into the new year. Stop it, as Rob Parker would say, stop it.

Yeah, it's a little much. It's ill much. I don't people want to be light. I get it.

You know.

It's like it's like when people call radio shows and still say how you doing?

You know that kind of thing.

Yeah, it would be like this is a radio show and I'm like joining us? Is that blow hard? Bed Mallard? You come on and you say, by the way, Danny, happy New Year. And I look at my watch and it's January twelfth.

Yeah no.

And the funny thing about that, I don't want to go down a soapbox, but I think I'm going down a soapbox. I believe I'm about to go down a soapbox. I don't want to do it, but I'm gonna go do it. So I love this because one of the old I don't think we are on there anymore, but one of the old Fox.

Sports radio affiliates.

This goes back probably twenty yeah, about twenty years, so I don't I think it's changed formats the station.

But this is great. This is great.

So I was curious, like, what was the first radio station that they put on a delight? The DeLay's been around for seventy two years in radio, and it was WKAP in Allentown, Pennsylvania, which at one point was a Fox Sports radio affiliate. I think it's flipped to like a news talk format. But in nineteen fifty two, we've discussed this.

I just want to make it. I don't talked about in a while.

But in nineteen fifty two they started a talk show called Open Mic, and it was the first time a telephone call in show had been broadcast on radio. They never broadcast a telephone conversation before live on the air. But the government, big brother, they had all these rules.

A federal committer Cacier Commission.

They prohibited the broadcasting of a live telephone conversation, couldn't do it, but allowed, and so there was there was no rule though prohibiting taped playback. So they they figured out they had a beep tone that was heard by the every like fifteen seconds b you know, like that kind of thing. So the caller was where they were being recorded. But that's that was the original Delay and Rado.

Oh yeah, I had a guy the other day talking about mustache ride.

Oh is that right? Oh boy?

Like I think at the point now, and I said this this week on the Overnight Show Danny, I said, you know, what are we doing here?

The S word?

We should be allowed. I think that one we should be allowed.

I get like in the we're on on the Bible belt and people will get upset by certain things.

But the S word, to me, that's com Yeah.

And I guess if it's not blatantly obvious to a kid in a car like I guess I wouldn't want my little son saying daddy what's a mustache ride? But it was on It was on topic because Rich has this technique that he calls the mustache stall. And I don't know if you saw the funny clip from Yiannis saying that the Pacers are in his head so much because they've been beating the Bucks lately. He even thinks about them when he's in the bedroom during freaky time.

Yeah, just like Eddie mustache. Well, there were a lot of Likeke Mike. Mike Schmidt had a big, burly mustache. I was a solid mustache.

There was this dude I saw on the internet, Rick Sweet. Okay, yeah, google Rick Sweet, or I can send you the photo. Oh my god. Uh what were some of these dudes.

Thinking, Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, I got a photo here.

Rick Sweet, former Mariner.

Yeah, that's he's got a lot of good facial jeans there.

He's imagine a huge eyebrow. Yeah, I oh my god, I guess I'll have to post it on my Twitter feed, but it's uh, it's impressive. That would definitely throw my train of thought off if I thought about that dude's mustache.

Yeah, that's well. Remember the Giants and the guy played with the Dodgers too. Was it Mark Wilson? Remember Mark Wilson?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it was more recently though he lived in a He lived in a Volkswagen bus.

Uh yeah, so, but I remember he like he was just a regular guy. He didn't have the beard, and then he went for the beard, and that's when he kind of became known as a headline player.

He was actually are Remember there was.

Such a big black beard. It looked fake.

There was a guy. Yeah, yeah, it did look like he painted it.

Well have you seen yah? I know this is off topic, but James Harden. Have you seen photos of Harden at Arizona State before he was he wore the beard.

Doesn't even look right. It looks spony. It looks like a photoshop.

Yeah, he liked like, goofy, I go weird. There was another guy not from the eighties, though this is probably from the early two thousand, Jason Worth. Remember Jason Worth with the Phillies.

Oh of course. Yeah.

He looked like like he was a bear or something like that, like a big bear box from the Bay I box somebody. So this is a wild one. I was in the studio this week. I returned. I saided since I was the holidays and I worked some over the holidays, I decided to work remotely. But I came back in this week because the holidays are over, picked up some mail hadn't gone. I haven't even gone through all of it yet. So if you did send something, man, do I thank you?

Man? Is that cool? Thank you so much. But I've been so busy with everything, I haven't had time to go through everything.

And so one of the items I did open is this big box from the Bay Big Box.

So inside I found this note. Just dropped it.

That's trying to be rush limball, all right, So the crinkled paper effect.

Yeah, that's not annoying, is it.

So anyway, I got this note in the box what's in the box?

And inside I found this note what's.

In the box?

What's in the box?

It's Ernesto in the Bay Area, Big fan of the show, Super Fans Show and Ernesto in the Bay Area says, if the forty nine Ers beat the Rams in the last game of the season, you have to wear this forty nine er hat and for a day of work, and it has to be on the YouTube videos for the show that you have to put the hat on for the YouTube videos. Evidence is required. So then we I realized we had made this bet on the air.

But he sent you a forty winer hat.

Oh yeah, not just a I mean this is a solid like, this is like a really nice like it's a fitted hat with its my size.

It's white, racist with that ugly forty.

Nine or logo on it. And so we did make this bet on the air. It's all kosher. We made the bet on the air, and I am a man of my word. Did Now, this is a dog food game. The Rams are playing Carson wentz Kyron Williams, Cooper Cup,

Yeah. Well, this is an extra reason to root against the Niners because if the Niners lose, the wild card picture could look a little bit more exciting for US viewers.

No, obviously, with the Rams and win, I don't want to have to wear this hat. I mean it's a nice hat. I I mean it's it would be great. I do want to thank her and Essa. If I did not load the Niners for haunting my childhood as a fan, this would be a great item. But the Niners to me and football are Poultergeist because growing up

And then Dickerson of course goes to the Colts.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It was a depressing time. It was a depressing time.

The Rams had Jerome Bettis and traded him to the Steelers and then he became a Hall of Fame player. And they also had Kevin Green who also ended up in Pittsburgh and became a Hall of Fame level player. But thank you or Nest though, very nice for the box from the base. So when you're watching the scores on Sunday, remember that if the Rams win, I'm good. But if the Rams lose, I got to wear this ugly forty nine er head. So that's the bet. Now

So I began to tell this story a little bit on the air.

I think we might have mentioned it here last week, but we don't think we got too far into it. So I was asked by a listener who heard the end of me telling the story on the Overnight show this week the other night to tell the story again. So I will tell you the truncated version. I will attempt to use brevity. If I've told this story before in the podcast, I apologize. But over the weekend, don't even know it was.

Over the holidays, Eddie.

I came back and Eddie was very braggadocious. He was telling me about he was all excited. He said, oh, yep, got my Christmas bonus. And so he's explaining to me. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I got this really cool gift card and the company sent it, and you know, I had a nice little note in there. And so then the he starts badgering, right, he starts badgering me to check my company email. I never checked my company.

I don't.

I don't believe in that. You know, that's the first thing they shut down when they get rid of I know that they got rid of me in nine, you know, fifteen years ago, and I still haven't forgotten. So I genuflected, and uh, because Eddie wanted me to. He kept saying, well, you got to get the gift card. Come on, buy something nice. So I was okay, you know what, if the company's nice enough to send me a holiday gift, you know what I'm going to log into my email. So I had to reset the pass word. I had

I was like, this is great. You know, I didn't expect anything from the company.

You know, I do the show and they I thought they stopped giving holiday gifts a while ago. But Eddie said, you know, no, this is great. So I finally opened up my email and and I'm typing in. Eddie told me what to type in, like the name of the gift card and what words to type in.

So I typed that in.

Uh, And much to my amazement, Danny, this company my company bonus was it was there. It was a lump of coal, okay, Eddie. Eddie had bad info. It seems like the company did not give everyone a holiday bonus.

In my mail, I found bumpkiss.

I typed in seven different search terms to find said, uh, you know gift card. I got a Jim Moore classic Diddley poo. All right, I couldn't even get that. Actually, did le poo? Not a dead air? All was quiet on the Western front, Danny, I mean it's still as pond zero zip bo zilch. I don't know how many other ways I can say it. I think I've used all my ways of saying nothing, right, which I think nothing is the absence of something. So I guess I got something, but it's the absence of something.

This has got to be a mistake because whenever I email our boss and in the subject line I write malor podcast, he gets back to me in at least twenty four days.

So I asked the question, and you can answer this because you're tight with your boys, Covino and Rich. Did Covino and Rich get a holiday bonus?

I'll have to check with him.

I got one, you got you got one? I got one, Eddie got one.

And the way that the email was worded is it made it sound like we all had that in our inbox.

All right, let me see if I can log in hold on save me this right?

Yeah, something is not right with your email.

Well, no, it's the company email that I was assigned. It's got my formal name on it.

I mean, hold, do a little dancing music here. No no, no, no, no no no no no.

La la la l l l l l la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.

Let's see here if I can find it.

I'm opening up my email so I can see what was in the subject line.

Okay, yeah, that'll help me out. But I Eddie, Eddie kind of like talk me through that, and I didn't. I don't find any so see here, Oh yep, I see. I tried to log in, and now they've got to text my phone. So now I gotta I gotta have that.

Very that's normal. That's been like that for the past few years. I don't really every time we go into our work email, we have to put the code from our phone in. Yeah, very secure, not security DN.

Okay, yeah, all right, let's see if it's changed here.

All right, they have text the code. We like to alert all.

The listeners that we have received the code.

Yeah, I typed in our bosses name so I can all of his emails. You stink that segment stunk.

Why do you even show how.

Did you do with Ben last weekend on the air. That's not the right one.

That's probably wrong.

All right, I am now into the the company email, is opening up Microsoft email.

This is very exciting.

Okay, uh yeah, that means I'm looking here. There's a lot of they send the news feed, which I never look at there's one from the Sager.

Okay, I see it. I see it. It says happy Holidays to the Fox Sports Radio family.

Oh okay, that seems that seems nice.

So so happy holidays. I'll type that in.

Happy Holidays with an exclamation mark was the title of their first email, the Two Big Bosses.

Oh, it was from the Big Bosses.

Okay.

We are beyond grateful for what has been another fantastic year here at Fox Sports Radio. We're fortunate to have such a great group of people who who inspire creativity and collaborate to put out such a remarkable product. We really do take great pride on how wonderful FSR sounds, whether it's on the radio, via the live stream, on demand, via podcast, or in social video clips. FSR is at the top of the game. And it's thanks to all of you.

Oh, that's very kind. That's very kind each of you.

Wait, what is that? Except for the fifth hour podcast, The Animal Thunderdome coming in twenty twenty five, how dare they write that each of you will be receiving a one hundred dollars Amazon gift card.

Wow, one hundred bucks.

Yeah, for you to spend on whatever you'd like. There's nothing quite like cold hard cash. And this is the twenty twenty three version of that. You should each be receiving an email shortly with a notification of your one hundred dollars Amazon gift card. This is an external link. If you click on it, it will not corrupt your hard drive though. Happy spending. Wow, and it came in. You can look by date too. It came in on Wednesday twelve, twenty, twenty twenty three.

All right, gonna, I'm gonna look here.

Maybe maybe maybe he sent it to my other email because it's not on my working man. All right, I just typed in our boss's email address, and there is there is no email. The last email I got from him was on twelve fifteen. Nothing on the twenty third in the email that I do check and I'm looking here through the inbox and I do not. I swear I do not. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go down here. Twenty you said, twelve twenty.

Three, No, twelve twenty twenty twelve.

Twenty twenty Okay, let me go back to that and see you go down page down here.

There was an email from.

Monsey that day.

There was a wired email and I got a happy Holidays from Julie Talbot, she runs the Premiere Networks, but nothing from from Scott.

Eh.

What, I guess I'm not part of the family.

I guess right now. That's got to be an oversight.

Oh yeah, I don't know. So here's but how should I handle it?

Though?

That's the question? I bring it up?

Or like, I mean yeah, yet, no, I would. I would be like, Hey, we were kind of goofing around on the air the other day and Eddie asked me about my gift card and I don't know what email you sent it to. Oh, there you go.

See that's a good idea. See, that's a good idea. All right, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna that's Friday.

Though, what if?

What if this becomes a big thing.

I don't know. I don't want to think.

I don't think it'll be a big thing till Monday.

Monday might be a better day because he has my day off today the rest of the day. Once I'm done with this, you know anyway? All right, Well, I will on your You're a radio professional, Danny. You've been in the business as long as I have. So if you'd say I should reach out, I'm going to reach out.

Yeah, all right, there's no way unless this was something for the production staff. But no, because Eddie is an update anchor. So yeah, that tells me that that should have been in your email box as well.

Yeah, no, I didn't get it, and so I just logged in again so that that'll impress the company. Now, then what about the junk It wouldn't be in the junk email because that's Scott's you know, I don't it would.

Be I don't think, No, I don't think. So it would show the link for your card as the letter read, it'll show us an external email for the link, but that still should show up in your inbox right in front of you.

Yeah, all right, Well the great mystery, the great the Jim Mora Diddley pooh, All right, well, I'm sure it's probably're probably right.

It's just an oversight. It's probably an oversight.

And I'm so happy though that I hitched myself to their number one priority at the network.

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

We have the word of the week. Are you ready for the word of the week. Oh, yes, you are.

Of the week.

The word of the week is stalwart, Danny g. You are a stalwart of Fox Sports Radio. You are a star wart like John Stalwart. Uh No, Stalwart stall the great stalwart. Uh So, this is a word I used the other day on the show, and I was like, that's kind of an odd word, Like, what what is the origin of stalwart?

Like I've said it.

You know, stalwart means a loyal, reliable, hard working supporter, a participant in an organization or a team. You're a stalwart. We're Stalwart's Fox Sports Radio been here a long time.

So the word goes back.

Stalwart goes back to the fourteenth century and it is a Scottish variant of Middle English stalworth. That was the original use in meant physically strong, powerful, also brave, courageous, valiant, stall doing.

Yeah.

Yeah, so that's what it meant. But over time, obviously the definitions have changed. The way it's been used is changed. But in America, I think that's where we are hanging out here. Stalwart became common in the United States polytical world in the late eighteen hundreds eighteen seventy seven through the next fifteen years or so, and the word stalwart was used in reference to factions, mostly for the Republican Party.

A stalwart.

So I've said athletes are stalwarts, like I would go down the list. I'd be like, well, Bill Belichick not an athlete, a coach, but Bill Belichick is a stalwart of the Patriots, that whole thing. So anyway, that is the word of the week. We'll save some foody fun as we predicted, Danny, we didn't have time for foody fund but we'll get the foodie fun on the Saturday Pod with whatever else comes up.

Have a wonderful rest.

Oh.

I don't think I promoted the TV show yet, have I?

I think you did already?

Did I? No, I don't think I did. That's a lot. That is a lie. I've not told you the TV show is back today.

I know we'll be debuting tonight in Boston after the Celtics programming at eleven PM, and then another showing at twelve am, and we'll be on in Philly at ten pm, and and then US an encore showing at eleven thirty and in Chicago after the Bulls Hornets game. Doesn't get much more entertaining than Hornets and Bulls on NBC Sports Chicago will be on there at ten.

O'clock on a DVR that game.

In the Yeah, in the Windy City. And there's a bunch of other times.

As Danny likes to say, check your local TV listings. And this is the week we will find out whether or not I beat the Penny in the first year of the television version of Benny Versus the Pennies?

Is this the final close going to the wire?

It has been, Yes, it has been very very close, very very close.

Is what it's been.

All Right, Well, we'll get out. You got Govino and Rich today, Yes.

Yes, sir, This afternoon two pm on the West five to seven pm in Maine.

Beautiful, the entire state of may not just Portland, Maine. That's a tourist town. I've been to Portland, Maine, the real main people further up, real further up and all that. All right, have a wonderful day today. Thank you for supporting this podcast and following it. And we will get to the bottom. I'm gonna take Dannage's advice. I'm gonna email the boss. I'm gonna do it. All right about this is holiday bonus anyway, have a wonderful, wonderful day.

We'll catch you next time.

I hope your day is as good as one hundred dollars gift card that doesn't.

Exist, an imaginary holiday bonus.

Later later got a murder. I gotta go