The Fifth Hour: "Maller Museum" Mail Bag

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a sol fastion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

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The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard starts right now.

In the air.

Everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me big Man and Danny g Radio, A Happy Sunday to you, A glorious and wonderful Sunday here, as we'll dive right in to the mail bag on a day that is always always a big day Sunday, because I go back.

It's double header duty.

We got the podcast here and then tonight back in the radio dojo as we celebrate National Chocolate Chip Cookie Days.

So it's a big, big holiday here.

And the meet and greet was on Saturday and quite quite the event there, Dan.

Yeah, you sent me some pictures and we'll break it down blow for blow Friday, and I'm sure you'll have me label it as the postgame Show. No, I've never done that before.

No, No, we never would never want to do that.

We'd never save all the stories to try to get you squeeze another podcast out of something that we did, right, Yeah, I know Terry and England loves when we do this. Terry thinks that we're conniving and all that, and he sends nasty messages on X some of these guys.

But you know, just chill out, Okay, take a chill pill.

Yeah, go eat, go eat some bangers and mashe along. Let's stop being right, Terry. Yeah, don't be right, Terry. Don't you don't have to be a schmuck and ruin our fun. Okay, you don't have to do that. But it is a mailbag kind of a day and we have a lot, a lot to get a lot to get to.

So let's jump right in.

Surprised you're not leftover high right now? After smoking with the listeners, Well, I am saying hi to you, Danny.

Hi.

There's a lot of a lot of weed consumption here in the Nevada desert, that is for sure. It's all right, thank you, ohio Al. These are actual letters from actual listeners to the show. If you'd like to send a letter in, you can do it care of Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. It's real fifth hour at gmail dot com, and let's get started with Mike in Fullerton.

Yeah, Mike, there's no way.

Anyone could do twenty hours of sports radio in three days. No one would want to hear someone do twenty hours of sports radio in three days. There's no way, right, Danny, come on, ridiculous, Not right at all.

How many stories did you have to recycle? Probably not many because I know you can blowviate.

Yeah.

I didn't really recycle, as I remember, maybe one because of the trade deadline Jack Flaherty, But other than that, I was pretty proud of myself because you know, Danny, I have attention devas disorder. I'm jealous of guys like Colin Cowherd that can do one hour radio and just repeat it for the entire day.

I can't do it. I'm not wired that way. I hate when.

There's like a story that we have to talk about every hour, because I love the editorial freedom that we have to talk about something different every hour, and it drives me nuts. And there's some guys that can do it, and they're usually the highest paid people in radio, where they just do one topic and they just repeat it, and I just am not wired that way. I get so freakin' bored doing that style of radio. So I

Home of Next Friday. Yeah, great town name. It was forever Embolden And there were some songs about Rancho Cuckamonga.

Man.

It's nothing better on a gloomy day.

Ben and Danny appreciate the grind it is. Ben, I was wondering what your schedule is like this week when you were doing Rogan Rodney in addition to your overnight show, did you have any.

Free time?

Well, we talked about this a little bit in a previous episode of the podcast. I would like to point out that it wasn't it wasn't too bad. Like I do have high standards and all that. There was at one point where I was tired of hearing myself talk. But it's not like I had.

A till of the hun that was like looking down on me.

The benevolent dictatorship was forcing me to do this. They asked me if I wanted to do it, and I was like, yeah, I'll do it. You know, the rare and appropriate fill in and all that stuff. It's like, but I wasn't hanging out with the dungeon master. And so what happen is I would wake up, I would waddle down to the remote studio. I would talk to the producer, Kevin Figures and Ronnie Foscio and those guys, and then Jonas and I would do the show for

Rock star life. I thought you were supposed to live the rock star life, Danny.

No.

I mean, I can't imagine doing that many hours with so many different topics each day. I think like an appropriate punishment if somebody like the Mob ever got a hold of you for owing them money or something, if you were like a Pete Rose type dude, they can put you in a padded room and play back all the hours of radio you did that day and force you to hear it all.

Now, that would be about as bad as you'd want to lose your hearing at that point. Next up on the Mailbag, ohio Al writes in one of our key participants and a finalist for the Benny Award, the Malapalooza Award from the contest that we had. He says, Hey, Benny, to answer the question raised by Eddie on the Overnight show, Yes, I play my own guitar, sing and blow and suck the harmonica too.

Maybe you can suck on it and that'll make it better. I'm a one man band.

Ohio Al says the song I submitted was done live, just recorded prior to the show for sound quality, singing and playing into my cell phone live during the show would sound like crap is By the way, I am disappointed in Lorena's eight score, especially considering I sent her the Hey there Lorena song, but ohio Al, putting a positive spin on the situation, says that Inka Tera giving him a thirteen score made up for it because he knows music. Not a sore loser.

Though.

Props to the three two one guy with the SpongeBob song, although the background music did not come through on the podcast for some reason. Great Mallard Paloza once.

Again keep up the fun.

Well, thank you, ohiol I loved the tune that you sent in. It was great. You knocked it out of the park. Good job by you. You're very talented man. You know that big fans of your work here. We play your stuff on this podcast all the time. And you understand, Eddie is a curmudgeon, He's gruff, He's mister Gruff.

So you got to take that into your evaluation.

How about shut up.

And Eddie thinks no one has a life, and everyone's just going to stay up and perform live on the air, and.

It's just not based in reality. I don't know what was going on with Lorrain in that score. I thought that was a ridiculously low score.

Bad job by her. But you were great, you were wonderful. Thank you, And I don't know what else I can say. I'm giving you your flowers right now. I don't like doing things like this, but I'm giving you the flowers. And You've got on this show because you're so talented. You have the latitude, the freedom, the artistic freedom to come up with all these different weird songs and everyone's great. So Ronnie from Covina writes, and he says, that's in

Then some fighting words.

There's no way Vessay would have no chance. Now he's a little younger than me, but he's not that much younger than me.

But what about his agilities? What about his agility? Did you see him going down that slide in Milwaukee?

Please, man, you know what I would do in the middle of the fight before round five, if we made it to round five, I'd pull out my Bernie Brewer bobblehead, and all of.

A sudden he'd say no moss and throwing the sponge.

You'd break his other brittle arm.

Say I'm done. Ron.

He doesn't want as the kids say that say, does not want this smoke. He can't handle this smoke.

He can't.

Barry from South Carolina previously in Nashville says Yo Yo, Ma, Benny and Danny g we have another conspiracy, he says. So Andre is so proud of his dog. He has got this Belgian whatever police dog. But he said that his dog doesn't bark. That's all police dogs do. Barry says, they go crazy and bark like wild that's part of their makeupf Earth. He says, Hey, Ben, I am of the opinion that Andre from the Commonwealth does not have a dog.

What about you? Well, it's up in the air. The jury is still out on this.

The other night he did have what sounded like a dog breathing, but I'm not sure. It is very odd to me the dog does not bark. Considering every dog I've ever owned, if you want the dog to bark, there are ways you can get said dog to bark. There are things you can do to get the dog to bark.

And he's He says, no, the dog doesn't bark. I don't believe.

I don't believe that.

So there's something. There's something going on there. I'm not sure what, but I'm skeptical. I'm skeptical.

Kevin from the Bay rights in on the mailbag. He says, guys, we haven't gotten a full baby g update.

In a while.

On the podcast, how is Danny Sunday? We've talked about a little bit this weekend. Your son, Yeah, just yesterday.

Story is right.

Yeah, we mentioned him yesterday because of the birthday party that's gonna happen later today.

I have any other new developments you want to share with the class about baby CoA.

He can swing a bat already. He has two whiffle ball bats, the big Bam bam bats and it's kind of funny because you call him Bam bam. That's what he looks like when he's swinging these things. And he has quite the arm too. So we have two Dodger like soft squishy balls in his playpen, and he'll throw these things from one room to another, and then he swings those bats over his head as soon as he's walking around. I'm gonna get him into a batting stance.

Oh, that should be his nickname. Have you given him a nickname yet, baby?

Call him?

Have not? But his middle name is Bryant for Kobe, so he could be Bam bam Bryant.

Oh dude, that's a great name.

If you're an athlete, can't wait stepping into the ring, Bam bam, Bryan like, or if he's a baseball player, Bam bam.

Let's go, come.

On, make it happen, me it happened. Next up is from Dennis. He did not say where he is listening from. He says, Hey, Ben and Danny, I enjoyed contributing to lame jokes. Who came up with the idea for that bit? And when did it start? He says, I have some questions about your sports radio competitors.

Of the past.

What happened to Pharrell on the Bench and David Stein Winter Winter Chicken Dinner. So Dennis, first of all, I started doing Lame Jokes of the Week. I don't know ten years ago or something like that. We were trying to fill out content on the Overnight show. And it's like I like jokes and guys like dad jokes. I remember when we started Lame Jokes of the Week, we only had a couple people that were sending jokes in so it was not a.

Lot of jokes.

And then at some point we matured we were able to take the cake out of the oven and it fully baked and all that, and now we have way too many jokes most weeks, I don't even get all of them on the air.

So at some point it took off.

And as far as Pharrell on the Bench and David Signed, Farrell lives in the New York area.

We've had him on this podcast.

He's a friend of mine, part of the Fox Sports Radio Alumni Association. I don't believe he's doing radio anymore. Last I talked to Pharrell, he was doing some television and that's it. Like Parrel on the Bench is like a TV show now, so you can still find him.

Not hard to track.

I know he was doing some work for that gambling network. I'm not sure if he's doing that anymore. He had some health worries, but I think he fully recovered, which is good news. I talked to him on Facebook just a couple of days ago because it was his birthday. I'll have to check in with him to see if there's any link to anything, and we'll get him on the podcast again.

Yeah, we definitely bring him back. Pharrell's an icon, a legend.

Maybe he could do Heroin live on the air this time, just to mix it up variety.

You know, we've checked the coke box. We'll move on to something else, all right now. David Stein part of the Fox Sports Radio Alumni Association winter Winter Chicken Dinner.

David moved to the South.

I think he's in Atlanta, but he was in South Carolina and was the pre and postgame host for the Clemson Tigers radio network. That's a pretty cool job in college football, back when Clemson was winning national champions I don't believe he does that anymore. He's a radio guy still. He was doing like religious sports talk. I don't know how that went. I never heard it, and he very religious man David Stein, so I don't know what he's doing these days.

He's actually pretty was pretty good friends with Davi. Nine's sure what he's saying.

Malard's connection in Vegas dropped, So that means I'm in charge right now? Oh shit? What should I do here?

All right?

Well?

I have a lot of Mallard content in my laptop. So while I try to get Ben reconnected, why didn't I play something from the archives here that will put a smile on your face?

Hey?

Is that?

Might? Not?

Love it?

Now?

Joe Din' Matter's Show Will Shine? Didn't Matters? Show Will Shine? When the moon goes down and the sun goes up, the green tractor will run across the land. Didn't Matters? Show, Din't Matter? Show Will Shine?

Hit that button right there?

Yes?

Why now Mailer's Mountain of Money? Hell, do you have what it takes to get to the top?

Probably not? Man, Here we go, It's Malar's mount of Money.

This week's edition written by our new executive producer, Cooper Loop Coop, you understand how to keep score, Coop, because you're you're you're gonna have to do that as well, you're aware of about to keep score.

There's a points system and all that.

Right, they've all got a value. I imagine they get it right, they get that value.

That is accurate for you're a sharp cookie. Yeah, I think I can handle. You're not. You're not missing a couple of fries out of a happy meal. You're not. You're very You're on the ball, Coop. Way to go.

Let's walk him in our contestants for this edition of Malar's Mountain of Money, and we will start out with.

Andrew in San Francisco. Hello Andrew, Hello Ben Goodmory in America. Oh, good Mory, it's that. Where have you been, Andrew. You haven't heard from you in a while.

I've been I've been listening.

I've been listening to the podcast.

I've been busy working business.

I go to schools week, two schools a week, one week.

Yeah, okay, very good. And you didn't come and visit us, Andrew. You were in La, but you didn't come by. Eddie was bummed out.

I wanted to come by the puffs for just waits apart from La.

Are you in Palm Springs? Yeah?

You know what, next time, I'll come up next time.

Hold on a second, there's Andrew in San Francisco. Who else is going to play our game?

Coop?

You want to pick a line there, Coop, go ahead, Coop? Okay, all right, Ryan in Denver, Ryan in Denver, Hello Ryan, How Ryan? If I was any better, I'd be a Rocky, but not a Colorado Rocky, because God.

Are they bad.

I can't disagree with you, bet yees's.

An accurate statement. It's an accurate analysis of the state of the Rockies. Hey, Ryan, what are you doing Denver Man?

All right? Well, actually, big Ben, I'm writing a book and I like to write late at night, and I listened to you while I do it.

Oh, very cool.

Well, the most creative people are night people. In the history of humanity, the most creative type of people, generally speaking, do their work at night.

Well, what's your book about? What's your book about?

It's actually it's kind of a memoir of a band that I was in in college.

No long story.

Okay, all right, Well we'll good good luck with the boy.

That's a tough rocket man, so I hope you can can make magic with that.

All our whole lot of section.

We got Ryan in Denver and Andrew, who's actually in Fremont, California.

But we'll just say's in San Francisco. For the purposes of this.

You can partner up with anyone on the show except Cooper Loop because he's got to keep scoring. It's a very intense job, and Coop's gotta he's got to keep scoring.

He didn't like that, So.

You got me Ben, You've got Eddie Garcia, and you've got Danny G Radio. Andrew, who would you like to partner up? O?

Thank you every time I played with you, guys.

I've never lost an escape.

Yeah, we're gonna win this. Andrew, don't worry. Ryan, who you like to partner up with? You've got Eddie Garcia and Danny G Radio.

I'm gonna take ed Garcia.

Okay, it's a bad choice.

Ryan likes to win, which I've done several times in a row in this.

Game, I've got the ringer Andrew. So all right, gentlemen, here we go. We've got a list on Malard's mount of money. The categories are changing of the Leaves, fall, Classic, back to back.

And that's back to school, back to school, what's bad job by me?

Back to school? And trick or treat, trick or treat? So who gets to pick? Where stand a g You want to go over there?

Andrew, you get to go first here.

All right, so pick a category we'll start with, and then we'll let Eddie.

And Ryan back to school.

Oh yeah, oh, back to school? The one I messed up on a are very good? And then Ryan, which category would you like to pick? You've got fall classic, changing of the leaves and trick or treat.

I'll go changing of the leaves.

Okay, changing is a very topical why not? Yeah?

Sure, not not where we are. But okay, we'll put you down for that. So very good. That's some time on the clock. How much time do we have?

Again?

We have forty five seconds? Andrew and Ben. You're gonna go first.

Andrew, Now we should explain with this ketch.

Yeah, I was gonna tell him right now. Andrew, back to school. It's the best college quarterbacks of all time. Okay, all right, here we go forty five seconds on the clock. Ben looks ready, go all right?

Former Bronco quarterback, he's got funny teeth.

Looks like a horse, all right.

Boston College legend played with the New England Patriots in the Canadian Football League.

All right.

Former Florida quarterback. He prays after every touchdown. He's out of the NFL.

Now, won the High Yes that's correct. Broadway. Played for the Jets back in the sixties. Yeah, that's right.

Former USC quarterback in the heyday at USC. Now he's a commentator on Fox Television. Played with Reggie Bush. Yes that's correct.

All right.

Former Texas quarterback won a national championship. Played with the Tennessee Titans. Now he's out of the NFL. He went bankrupt. Loves the cheesecake factory. Former Texas quarterback, all right, that was we were looking for.

Vince Young. He loves the cheesecake. Yeah, he went bankrupt eating at the chief case.

You would take like hundreds of people.

It was very generous, nice guys.

Yeah, all right, you guys got one hundred and sixty points the right.

That's not not that okay, Ryan, are you ready?

That's a tough competition. I'm going to do the best they can.

Your category you chose is changing of the leaves. It's famous athletes who change teams after playing at least ten years for their original team. All right, Eddie you ready?

I am ready?

Forty five seconds on the clot go all right.

Arguably the greatest basketball player of all time started with the Bulls, ended with the Wizards.

Michael Jordan's all right.

Hall of Fame wide receivers started with the forty nine Ers, ended up there, right, Hall of Fame running back started with the Cowboys and his creer all right. Current Angel Slugger was a star with the Cardinals. Former NBA center starred with the Knicks, played at Georgetown. I think he ended his career with maybe Houston. Human highlight film start with the Hawks. I think he finished his career with the Clippers.

Maybe yes.

And finally, former NFL defensive back he was a star with the Eagles and finished his career with the Broncos. Can we accept just the last dame?

No, I don't think we can need the whole name, the whole name.

Because he got one of those.

He gave the last name also, so I don't know how we handle this year, right, He didn't give Patrick.

Pretty sure he knew we'll give him that one, but he needed Dawkins first names Yeah, after the buzzer though, Well, either way, you away.

Good job. Ryan were in the league two forty That was a good job. Let's start.

You had an easier category than me, though, here we go me. No, I'm just pointing out that was an easier category.

Then blame Andrew for picking a harder Cady.

Andrew, I blame you.

There you go.

Okay, Ryan, you're in luck because the way this game works, you get to choose first. Since you're in the lead, you have Fall Classic or Trick or Treat. I'm going to go Fall Classic, Fall Classic, Okay, and Andrew. That's going to leave you with trick or Treat. Okay, Ryan, you're back to back. Here you go first Fall Classic. MLB players involved in the current playoff race Eddie, forty five seconds on the clock.

You're ready, I'm ready, Go Yankees. DH did a lot of steroids. A Rod Okay, Angels outfielder, arguably the face of baseball right now.

Trout Mike Trout.

Okay, Pittsburgh outfielder. Former NL m VP Andrew McCutcheon, Toronto outfielder. We love to play his drop of his last name on the show. Former Philly shortstop now plays for the Dodgers.

I'm Jimmy Rowland.

No, I'm not sure.

Uh all right. A Kurt Houston outfielder, little tiny guy, but a really good hitter.

He lost me on the after.

Okay, outfielder for the Twins, played for the Angels, then the Tigers, then back to the Twins. Yes, uh, let's go back to that. Do we get Do we get that or not? Coopy?

No, I don't you know he said that?

He said, he said no, never mind, So I don't think. I don't think we can give you that one. I'm sorry, I have tough break. Trust me. I'm I'm always rooting against Ben. But shut up with that.

I mean, you said Jimmy Rollins, Ryan, but then you said no, but it is Jimmy Rawlins.

I was, I was backing out man.

It's a strong showing.

Jose L TV was the Houston outfielder you did not know.

And Annie, when you say Yankee d h on stairs, it could be anybody.

I mean, there's a lot of he got it all right, Yes, yes, I don't agree that the enemy in total of four points here?

How much was that coup?

Four hundred and four hundred and.

Forty Alright, it's all right, we got this right, and this gonna be a draft.

I think you're gonna have to run the table here though, Andrew.

This could be a walk off win. Andrew.

Okay, all right, Andrew, how many points does he need?

Coop?

Do you know?

I don't care. We'll get him all all right, we'll get him, all.

Right, We'll see. I don't know if even that's enough.

Love the confidence, Andrew trick or treat it's players with sweet nicknames, as Napoleon Dynamite would say, all right, ready, Ben, forty five seconds on the clock.

Mals amount of money? Go all right?

Former heismooner from USC he killed two people, cut their heads off?

What what?

What?

No?

No, you idiot?

All right pass.

Captain of the Yankees, Captain of the Yankee just he just returned, all right?

Yes?

Uh? The male man for the Utah up. Yes, Philadelphia seventy six er legend. He's a guard out of Georgetown, little guard, all right, very good named Megatron with the Lion his name Megatron?

All right?

Notice the glove point guard with the Sonics back in the day. Yes, and uh, most championships play with the Lakers and the Rockets. Uh, small forward with the Lakers and the Rockets back in the in the late early nineties mid nineties, won all seven Carson, Andrew, you big Carson Palmer.

People said, up, big bo, Big Ben has a newly minted Raiders fan. You should agree with that because he left our team to go to the Cardinals and he won their first game. Screw you, Carson Palmer.

I mean that was so I thought you were going to win that when you needed that hundred though, Ben.

Right, that hundred would have given you guys to win.

But instead it was Robert Or we were looking for and still dollars Mountain of money champion.

Robert never quit for a Celtic.

What's a quiet you lost? Ryan and Eddie.

Never for Celtics.

I didn't say the Celtics. I said he played with the Lakers and the Rocket. That's what I said, Lakers and Rockets.

And all right, it was a really really good game on both Ryan, well done. Who was the player that it's over Andrew. It's over Andrew.

If we have to tell you that it.

Was, it was. Yeah.

I mean, you're good at the game and all, but come on.

Now google it. All right, thank you, Andrew.

We've got to use that as a drop that that's one of the thank you Ryan, good luck with the book.

That's one of the Great Moments and.

Yes, really dropped the ball away with murder.

All right, we'll puck the world. Maybe we'll do it next.

The Ben Maler Show, Great Britain's Biggest and Best at Breakfast Show.

I have a people in my box right now.

Bro, Not only am I a coward, I am the biggest coward on the planet.

Both teams are garbage. I'm gonna have Jamie Ben.

You're gonna have the congratulations.

Played for the Orioles has a porn stash.

What I went to I went to school dressed up as a as a giant tampon.

The head is good, but the hump is thick, you know what I mean?

Six line tribute to Roddy Piper. Roddy Piper, a legend, legend who passed away over the weekend. And the way this works, we've had all six lines now Phil calling lines. The Fox Sports Radio are completely full and we will give our six line salute to Rowdy Roddy Piper and a celebrity joining the six line tribute.

Yes, we have pulled out Danny G. Radio. He's gonna be my line six. How about that? A legend, Danny G.

Big Ben. I'm a longtime button pusher, first time caller. Yeah, you know, I would say that the Hall of Famer Rowdy Roddy Piper was Canada's best gift to us and he affected my life, unfortunately for me, not so great for my older brother. It was a good day. We were in elementary school. He picked me up in our backyard body, slammed me on a pile of rocks and shouted, I'm Rowdy.

Roddy Piper is a man, yes, a big man.

He's got as well as shand gives them a sporting you. Ben Mallor is a man.

It's a big man, Big Ben here everywhere.

For you, and he from the Dodger cap on the top of all men to the heel of his Costco shoes. He's the rip.

Roaring as sports talkingist man the world has ever knew.

Ben Mallor is a.

Man, yes, a big man, and he never forgets to bring along gainst Babel crew.

There's a Garcy on the coop, Tulup, Jimmy g Radio tube. These guys are better than the best an crew you would I have ever knew. Ben Mallor is a man, yes, a bee man, Big Ben in the air everywhere for you, and.

I'm absolutely naked right now.

Ah the man enjoy me.

He blew me off at a hotel near lax God bless truly. The paper boys, security guards and truck drivers ain't got a nazy girl.

Well a couple of quick takeaways here. As you can tell, my laptop is like a malor museum, so at a moment's notice, I can pull like great moments, great show moments, and drops.

I'm a doctor.

Even though it's the morning time. It is hot as hell in Vegas. Ben texted that he has no connection right now. For those of you who don't think we do it the weekend of you can suck it. Maybe I should play some anti Clippers drops right now? You got the con door?

What? What?

What?

Just like that?

Sure a Clipper fan.

The only thing you're gonna win is passwords.

We will hear all about Las Vegas and the meet and greet on Friday's edition of The Fifth Hour. Ben will be driving back today and he will be back on the show tonight, so don't miss that. And I will be back with Covino and Rich for a fun Monday afternoon show from two to four pm on the West Side that's five to seven pm in beautiful Charlotte, North Carolina. Until Benny is back on this podcast Friday, it's Danny G signing off. Austa pasta, got a murder.

I gotta go.