The Fifth Hour: Maller Minnesota Postgame

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So it's the Malard Meet and Greet, the first podcast since our trip to Minnesota last week had a wonderful time, and we'll go through all of the details on this will give you a blow by blow among the features on this podcast, we'll take a trip on the love Boat, we'll go speed racer, a rollicking Happy Days type festivity, and we will also have information that no one else has. We will tell you which member of the Malad militia almost stripped buck naked at the Malor Meet and Greet

to the shock of everyone that saw this happen. We had nudity at the Malor Meet and Greet. We will get to that and also some sticker fund So there's a lot, a lot to navigate through, Danny, but I have my machete and we will be swashbuckling our way through the festivities on the Friday podcast. So we'll start out with the love vote. So got to Minnesota. Now we'll get to the meet and greet, which was a wonderful affair on Saturday in the evening time from five

to nine. But prior to that, got up really tried to maximize my time. I figured, no, I don't want to sit in some room watching TV or listening to some audio. I want to go out. I want to experience everything that Minnesota has to offer. So we got there on Friday and on Saturday morning, we got up kind of early. My brother drove over from Appleton, Wisconsin, which is about a four hour drive. I believe he

said about four hours. So I met my brother. My wife was with me, So me and my wife met my brother and his wife and we headed to Lake Minnetonka. So why did we go to Lake Minnetaka, Danny ge, why do you think this was? There's a ten thousand plus lakes. There's like twelve thousand lakes in Minnesota, but we chose Lake Minnetonka. Why do you think that.

out on Lake Minnetonka. And one of the players had flown in a group of professional ladies, a.

was really cool. I checked out my first first lake in Minnesota was lakeman Tanka, and it was a very nice lot of little towns kind of around the lake where they have shops and you know, standard touristy stuff and things like that. So that was that was a lot of fun. I did not see anyone making love on a boat though, so I think that it might have happened, but they did it in the privacy of the lower deck of the boat.

great moments in Viking history. So we had a fake Dick Cheney, yes exactly, a fake Dick and Dayton, if you will. But so she had that. So then there was this great debate whether or not my wife was going to go to the meet and greet and some interesting folks that comes to these things. My wife has been to some of these events in the past, but not all of them, and she was debating whether or not to go, and we were talking about that. She decided kind of at the last minute she was going

to go. But as you know, Danny, you can't just roll out of bed and go to a Malor meet and greet. You've got to get all dulled up because you're representing the show, you're representing the brand, and so my wife always wants to look as good as possible. So she had to go to the store to pick up a few things that she did not have with her in her suitcase, and we were getting ready. We had a bit of an issue. We got back to the place we were staying and the code to get in

was not working, so that delayed us. We were like, we got locked out, and if we had been locked out, we would not have been able to make the Mallord meet and greet, which would have been a slight problem considering people were traveling from all over to come to this thing. But anyway, we figured it out. We got in there, so my wife got ready fine, but we left a little bit later than I was hoping for. So I got on the highway there in Minnesota and

started cruising to Mounds View, Minnesota. The Mermaid in an event center where the Mallard meet and greet was taking place.

for the police. They can write the ticket. They know you're not going to fight the ticket because you don't live there. They assume you don't live there. So when I picked up the rental car, I only had two options. You get to the rental car booth and they say, all right, there's two cars, pick either one. One of the cars had a Texas license plate. The other had a Kansas license plate. So I decided Kansas was closer to Minnesota, up by a little bit, so I'll take

the Kansas license plate. So I was driving around with Kansas plates. Wow, and I was in a no win situation. Now, the officer was totally cool. It was a nice guy. Young guy looked like he was just out of the academy and this might have been the first ticket he had ever written. And so he's like, why why are

you in such a hurry? You know, they ask you the questions when they asked, Well, so then I had the chance to say, well, it's funny you should bring that up, because I actually I do a radio show and I'm on my way to meet listeners from the show that's that are here in Minnesota, and so I was like, oh, maybe that'll give me some Yeah.

And the ticket was not expensive. It's it's affordable, you can do it online, you fill out the ticket. Whatever. It's a nuisance, got a murder, It's an absolute nuisance, pain in the behind. One complaint. I had a wonderful time in Minnesota. But the one thing I will complain about the speed limits in the Greater Minneapolis area. Ridiculous. The speed limit is like sixty fifty five to sixty miles an hour. No one is driving fifty five to sixty miles an hour because the weather was good. Now

maybe in the winter. Maybe in the winter, Danny, when the weather's nasty. And yeah, I can understand how you'd say, Okay, this needs It's like.

because I figured I would not get a ticket. As my plan, my battle plan and all that. So in Minnesota, I was going seventy six miles an hour and not to seventy nine. But I still got a ticket because I had out of state plates. That's my again, that's my theory, that's what I'm going with. And so anyway, that was my pain in the ass trip to go to the the Mermaid for the Malared meet and greet. So then we get to the Mallard Meet and greet. The first thing I say, I pull off the highway.

I was only two off ramps away, Danny, two off ramps away. If I had made it, I would have been fine. Obviously, got pulled over. So I get back on the highway. I get off the highway at Moundsview and I turn and there I see it, like a beacon of light off in the distance, The Mermaid. Here it is. I've heard so much about this place. We promoted it for several weeks. And I see flashing the

jumbo tron. There it is my name in lights, Danny as a queen, the Queen of the Mala Musia in Minnesota, she's not Queen Roxanne, but she's spin Cycle Regina, who's the queen of the Minnesota contingent of the Mala Musia. So she had had my name put up on the billboard outside right on this big road in Minnesota. I saw this. My name was flashing, which was kind of cool. I was like, I did a double tike. I was like, is that really my name? I was like, maybe that's

maybe that's Ben Maler or something like that. So I got there. Now I was still kind of in a bad mood. Not kind of I was because I'd just gotten a speeding ticket. But I saw that jumbo tron and I was like, man, that's great glowing right there, and it was kind of twilight. The sun was it was still up because it doesn't get dark in Minnesota till like eight thirty, but you know, summers down a

little bit, but not all the way down. And I walked in and everyone was all excited to see me, and it was a huge crowd there, and it was really cool. It was a really neat thing, and I had a wonderful time meeting everybody. We had people come from all over the place, all over the states. Obviously in that area around Minnesota from Wisconsin, Iowa. Doc Mike was there from Chicago. We had northern Minnesota well represented.

We had Nebraska, and also Ernesto flew in from the Bay Area, so we had northern California represented, and I'm sure, I'm sure I'm forgetting some other other locations. But it was great. I had a wonderful time. I got to

meet a bunch of people. I tried to balance my time, Danny, because you know, a lot of people there and I and my wife actually was very helpful because she was like encouraging me to move on to some other people, because otherwise I just would have talked to like one person the whole time.

so that was cool. Tommy Kramer. You remember Tommy Kramer, the quarterback for the Vikings back in the eighties. Yeah, So Tommy Kramer was there. He made he popped up, he popped in there. He was kind of signing autographs, hanging out. He had had merchandise that he was selling, so he had a little table he was setting up. And we had live music. Really good local artists there were performing and it was just a really rollicking happy days kind of thing there. It was a lot of fun.

Met Eke from Roseville, Minnesota, Rob from Minnesota. All these guys that are big contributors of content to the show. Many of them were able to make it. Not everyone. We didn't meet Hayes the Crazy Guy, allegedly Crazy Guy, he was not there. Met Mike de Farmer and his wife who work on a small farm out in the boondocks in Po Dunk, USA, and they have no kids, just them working on the farm and he listens every night.

He gets up at two thirty in the morning to feed all the animals on the farm and he listens to the overnight show while he's working and says he's I think he told me, Mike. I don't want to get this wrong, but he said he hadn't left the farm more than like twice in the last several years, but he left to come hang out with us at the meet and greet. So that was really cool. That was neat, and you know how these things go, Danny. Everyone's got a story, everyone's got something they want to

share with you. There were a bunch of introverts, so I tried to make sure I accommodated the introverts. As a fellow introvert, I felt like it was important for me to spend time with them, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Angelino was there. She's the big fan super fan, and she got a lot of the shirts and she was hanging out with some of her friends. She got me a nice gift. Some people

did bring me gifts. I got some. I got a hat from Angelina, Colorado Buffalo's hat, which was kind of cool. There were some other knickknacks that I got as well. So as it was very very welcoming. You've heard of Minnesota nice, A lot of Minnesota nice, dandy, a lot of Minnesota nice.

was really looking forward to meeting Jims. James has called the show for years. If you listen to the Overnight show, James breaks the mold, or maybe he's part of the mold. So hollering James is the guy that's been evicted from several places he's lived because he calls the show in the middle of the night and starts screaming about the Vikings or the Twins, or the Timberwolves or the Golden Gophers, like it's why old and crazy, right, wild and crazy.

So anyway, I show up. They say, hey, there's hollering James. So I go up to hollering James. The first thing he does is literally take the hat off his head and say, hey, I want you to have this. He hands me this Viking hat which is covered in schmutz. It's it's got, it's I don't know, it's smelled. It was disgusting. So I said, you know what, James, that's very kind that you wanted to give me your hat. But I'm okay, I want you to have that hat.

So I handed the hat back to hollering j He's He's like, no, I want you to have I said, no, no'm James. You listen, you take that. You need the hat more than me. You're the Viking fan. I'm a Rams fan. I don't need the hat. But he tried to give me so fine. So I talked to James for a little bit. At some point he procured a Mallard Meet and Greet shirt. There were a couple extra shirts. He was able to get his hands on a Mallard Meet and Greet shirt, so got his hands on this.

So he then we have a conversation and he's like, hey, I want you to autograph the shirt. So I said, no problem. You're hollering James. That's very flattering. I mean, what do you want an autograph from me?

talk power. He's large and in charge. Hollering James women. I saw some things when he took the shirt off that I did not need to see. I didn't Now. Fortunately I was able to convince him to put the shirt back on, and I decided just to sign. He wanted on autograph, so I was like, all right, I'll sign the autograph, just leave the shirt on, and so so he did. It's not the cleanest looking autograph, but he he allowed me to do it, so so I I autographed that, uh, and he was happy. And I

didn't even see him leave. I told him to come say bye when he left, but I don't I don't know where he where he ended up. But that was hollering James, briefly turning into a Chippendale's dancer. Now you wanted to know about this axe throwing.

So I had to sign a waiver. Now, the young lady that worked at the axe throwing part of the Mermaid, she looked like she was just out of high school, and so she's describing to me the different ways to throw an axe safely. Now, I had never thrown an axe before in my life. I didn't anticipate that I would start throwing an axe at this event. But everyone was like a nick in Wisconsin, and some of the other guys were like they were excited and they wanted

me to throw the axe and so okay. So I went over there, and as I said, the lady there, the young lady was describing the different ways. There's this technique, which is the one handed technique, and there's the uh there's this which is the that's the.

the first couple were not particularly great. And of course what always happens is the the paparazzo tries to make you look like you're you're incompetent, and so these idiots, these nimrods, posted the video which made me look like I was unable to throw an axe. Of course, they conveniently left out the clip of the video. Once I warmed up and once I had my batting practice, my ax practice, Danny, I nailed, absolutely nailed the axe toss.

It was amazing. In fact, I am now an honorary lumberjack, one of my just all bunyan and I will challenge you or anyone else I know. I challenged Cooper Loop and Eddie and Roberto, and I will challenge you. I am now a MENSA level axe thrower.

get that down, your set. So I'm ready anywhere you want to go, anytime, any place, and we will do damage. We will make axe magic is what we're going to make. There was the axe toss on that I also wanted to mention and I want to thank Femi. Now, Femi is from Nigeria. He's actually hoping to call the show from Nigeria, but he lives in Minnesota. He's lived in Minnesota for years. Married guy, family guy, hard working guy, and and so Femi on his own. I didn't tell

him to do this. I didn't say, hey, you should do this. He's such a big fan of the show that he went out and had some bumper stickers made for the show and it was his active kindness and Femi wanted to pass those out to everyone who showed up at the Malar meet and greet. He's the bumper sticker guy, and he was so kind. He made hundreds of these bumper stickers and we had a great turnout, but not everyone got bumper stickers, not everyone wanted them.

And so he told me, says he wants to support the show so much that he said he will send a bumper sticker to anyone who's a fan of the Ben Malors Show or the Fifth Hour podcast, and he will he will cover the shipping for the bumper stickers, which isn't that much, but it's still a very kind act by Femi. And so if you're interested, and this is the number one uber each delivery guy in Minnesota, if you are interested in getting one of these bumper stickers,

you can email him. I'm gonna give you his email address right now. It's Femi Vikings at yahoo dot com. Femi and then just Vikings like the NFL team at yahoo dot com. You can email Femi and this is all he's doing. It's got he's got these really cool bumper stickers in a few different shades and colors, and it's got the name of the show, it's got the time of the show. It's got those little microphones. So

it's pretty neat. And check that out if you're interested, and you don't have to put it on your car. Maybe you want to put it on something in your man cave or your office or back of your computer, whatever it might be, whatever floats your boat. Forehead, well, if you have a five head, you could put that on there, making a forehead.

all this copy and exchange their vows and women. What a shit show that turned out to me? Yeah, my goodness, it was fun. It was fun. My wife was the flower girl. We had, We had the music going. It was interesting, and Regina spinsyger. Regina had somebody documenting everything. She had a camera person, like a professional camera person. It was like a wedding photographer taking photos of everything. It was like next level. It was wild and crazy. Dad, I'm going to decapitate a goat nuts.

There's a few other places in the Midwest, but Minneso is not normally high up on the list, and so I got a sense for people. They were genuinely happy that I would go out of my way to go to minne APIs and I had a wonderful time. It's a beautiful place.

First thing, people you go there, there's a big crowd, and then people start leaving because they have things to do and they just wanted to meet me, and then you know, be part of the event, but then they had other things to do, and then there's like the second wave of people. So throughout the night we had different different waves convoys of people that were showing up, and then they had to go, and then there'd be

new people that would show up. And so like we took a group photo, but that only shows you part of the group that was there. There were many other people that showed up either early and or they showed up late after we had already taken the team photo. So so yeah, I was trying to, you know, be as polite as I could possibly be to everybody, but I did not eat. I went out after. We'll actually talk about that later because I have a mallard of food review. We'll get to that coming up in the

Saturday podcast. I think we'll leave that to the Saturday one. I think we're good on this. Anything you want to promote. It is Friday. You have Covino and Rich. I assume today, is that correct? Yeah?