The Fifth Hour: Magical, Double Dip - podcast episode cover

The Fifth Hour: Magical, Double Dip

Nov 23, 202426 min
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Episode description

Ben Maller & Danny G. have a fun Saturday podcast for you! They talk: Tyson Buffer, Magical Non-Sports Fan, Money Crunchy, Koa’s Double Dessert, & more! 

...Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-fifth-hour-with-ben-maller/id1478163837

Engage with the podcast by emailing us at [email protected] ...

Follow Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and on Instagram @BenMallerOnFOX ...

Danny is on Twitter @DannyGRadio and on Instagram @DannyGRadio

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Transcript

Speaker 1

Kubbooms.

Speaker 2

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

Speaker 3

Wow.

Speaker 2

The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

Speaker 1

In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Maller and Danny g Radio on a college football Saturday, rivalry games, well number of rivalry games. It's that time of the year, the weekend before thanks Giving, and we are back in the Magic audio Box, not the magic radio box, the magic audio box, the pod box. Here on this twenty third day of November. And it's National Cashew Day today, So make sure to eat some cashews today.

Speaker 3

Those those are only good if they're covered in chocolate. Well, anything covered in chocolate is pretty good, isn't it. People eat all kinds of bugs covered in chocolate.

Speaker 1

I think to eat a cranberry day to day as they try to remind people to have cranberries for things, Oh.

Speaker 3

For when you get another uti on the overnight.

Speaker 1

Yes, that's the only time that you ever consume cranberries typically is under that scenario. So anyway, we're hanging out with you. It's a you know, the deal and all that, and we're just kind of kind of chilling. Danny is is back, but you're traveling all over you the traveling man, Danny g is what you are. You're all over the world. You're back, Ben.

Speaker 3

We are up early on this Saturday. I am here in Alabama. I got to bed early enough last night. Covino and Rich were still partying with the listeners here in Auburn. After the live broadcast, I did the happy hour and then I got my food to go and I went up here to my hotel room and those guys, who knows how late they stayed out, but they have some pea ones who really like to drink with them. Yeah.

Speaker 1

So are you eating the traditional like grits? Are you eating pecan pie? Like what boiled peanuts? I'm trying to think of southern like Alabama type foods, like some green tomatoes. Oh, you go to go to waffle house when I'm in the South. I make sure to go to waffle house when I think southern, traditional Southern cooking. It's waffle house. And then what's the other restaurant that's.

Speaker 3

I was looking up Culver's. Do they have one in Auburn.

Speaker 1

I don't think they have one in Auburn. There are some in Florida, mostly the Midwest. There's one in Arizona. I don't think they're in Alabama. What's the other Southern like a restaurant's got a gift shop?

Speaker 3

Oh, cracker Barrel, Yeah.

Speaker 1

Cracker Brow. That's when I think of the South when I visit my father in law who lives in North Carolina. We got to go to a Cracker barrew. Gotta go to the Cracker Brow. But now it's everywhere, so it's not the same. You gotta go to like local places. But yeah, a different speed man in Alabama do things a little little slow.

Speaker 3

I Ben, I just looked it up right now, it's the Culvers here there is you get some cheese curds man? Yeah, East University drive here in Auburn. That means before we get on our in our rental car, I should say to drive all the way back to Atlanta's airport. I'm going to convince Cnar to go through the drive through a Culvers.

Speaker 1

Yeah. Yeah, you gotta get a call, you get a butterburger, and you get the cheese curds, and they also have delicious desserts as well. So it's a solid solid It's like the in and out of the Midwest, five guys, is the in and out of the of the East Coast. You got in and out obviously on the West coast, but then you got the Culver's in the Midwest, and that's the way the way to do it. So on this podcast, we've got phoned in Abra cadabra, desserts, taco go, we got all kinds of stuff, but I wanted to

start with it. So this is the Sadday Pod. Now. The first thing I must do, Danny, is shamelessly beg you the listener to watch Benny Versus the Penny, the TV show I talked about a little bit yesterday on the Friday Pod. But it's all day to day. It's on Peacock, it's on television throughout the day. One thing I have noticed in the last month or so is how many people get up early on Saturdays. Because I've had so many people that have said in la that

have seen the TV show. It airs at like eight in the morning on the Lakers cable channel here in La.

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah, I saw you last weekend in Key Key on the Laker channel.

Speaker 1

Yeah. It's nuts. And I've had like multiple people say, oh, yeah, I was out at breakfast and they had the thing on GUS because the Lakers usually plan on Fridays. Maybe that's just because they have the channel on when they turn the TV off. It's I don't know, but I've had more people say they watch it at eight in the morning than eight o'clock at night, which is which is kind of crazy. But yeah, so they have the

Laker channel in Hawaii. Of course that would make sense, right, There's a lot of Laker historians there in Hawaii, so they would have the channel. Oh no, hell, Bill Miller TV. When you were in Hawaii, right, I mean what you watch TV? You said you can't watch.

Speaker 3

The only time I turned the TV on was to see if I could what's the word something cast where you could take your iPad and cast it onto the TV screen.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3

I was trying to put the Tyson fight on the TV in the hotel room, and they didn't have that function. My wife and I just put my iPad on the bed and watched the Tyson fight that way.

Speaker 1

Well, it's funny you bring that up, because this actually is a story that I would like to share. Not not about the TV show Betty versus the Penny on Peacock and all that, but Friday, last Friday, I did the old Switcher room. I was planning a nice quiet night at the mallor mansion fight night. Now, this is something that I used to do back in the day. We all used to do this, like big fights, have a party that's pretty much died for the most part. I mean, I know there's every once in a while.

I was a big UFC fight. I'm not really a UFC guy. Every once in a while check it out.

Speaker 3

Whatever.

Speaker 1

So Mike Tyson versus Jake Paul from Jerry's World there in the Dallas there in Arlington, and I'd planned this, and then I realized that I had double booked, so I double boy. So I had a buddy of mine from Dallas who was in town. Ironically enough, the Tyson fight taking place in the Dallas area, and this is my longest tenured friend. We go back to the playgrounds of elementary school. I pretty much lost contact with everyone else who I knew at that period of my life.

Some of these people are like Facebook friends, but they're not real friends. This is a real friend. He works with the irs, so he's not perfect in Dallas, and he's lacking the sports gene. He lacks the sports Jean Danny and oh boy. Yeah. So he had no interest in the fight, no interest. He didn't want to know, he didn't know about it, wanted nothing to do with it and all that. So so this is like the one day a year I hang out with this guy.

So I was like, you know what, I gotta be a grown up, you know, and Mike Tyson's not going to miss me if I'm sitting on my ass on myself for watching. So I planned the whole day. We went out for burgers for launch, had some cheeseburgers for lunch and fries, and then I made the editorial decision that we would go out because he wanted to go you know, go around La whatever. So I phoned it in. I was able to phone it in. I was able to watch the Tyson Jake Paul fight on my small iPhone,

and I had no issue. Did you have any issues streaming? I had no issues streaming.

Speaker 3

It's funny you bring this up because Rich Davis said that in his little group of friends, and they were all trying to watch on their big TV. The only way they were able to keep track of what was going on when the TV was buffering is Riches feed on his phone never got interrupted. So, for whatever reason, if you were on Netflix on your phone, you had less to zero problems.

Speaker 1

Now there was a conspiracy. Coop brought this up that there's different tiers of Netflix, so if you have the higher tier, you were all right. If you were ah, they basically pooped on the people that didn't pay the proper amount for the Netflix. I don't even know how much we probably play like premium at our house. I don't know how much we pay it. I don't really want to know because that would drive me nuts. So anyway, so I'm watching on my phone. I had, like I said,

no issues. I'm glad I made the right call. Man?

Speaker 3

Was that boring?

Speaker 1

Tyson landed eighteen punches in eight rounds eighteen. There were two minute rounds, but eighteen punches, and most of those seemed like they were early in the fight and.

Speaker 3

So yeah, yeah, it felt like the first two rounds were really all of his punches.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I was like, all I put my work in, I'm out see you later. And so it was great for me as an introvert because I was out. We went into la from the north Woods there and that was actually the the Abra cadabra part of the story. So the wife decided, you know, we need to take your buddy out to a magic show. And really I didn't. I didn't know that that my buddy needed to see a magic show.

Speaker 3

And yeah, experiment rhino like a girl makes the poll disappear.

Speaker 1

Well, that would be a very entertaining. But no. We went to the Black Rabbit Rose Magic Show in La in in Hollywood.

Speaker 3

It's like a it almost sounds like a strip club.

Speaker 1

It does, it does. It's this old speakeasy style bar theater. It's in Hollywood, and you know, very hip. You know, I'm a hip guy, Danny, you know I don't look like a guy. Well, anyway, I was there hanging out and we went to see the nine o'clock show. So I was watching the fight on my my fhont it ended, uh actually before that, but I was watching. We were at a at a restaurant there and the Black Magic

Rows Racist. It's a very small speak as I said, speak easy there and you know, expensive cocktails and whatnot. And it was it's pretty good. I actually been there years ago. I had not been in a while. It's very intimate setting. Immersive is a word I would use for that, and it was. It was pretty cool. My buddy was he was happy. He didn't like sports, so he was happy watching that. And we watched watch the Magic Act and all that, and it was amazing and

great and all that. Now, before we went to the Magic I didnt want to mention this before I forget. So this is one of those things that bum me out. When I used to live in in La, I lived in Park Librea for a while and then I lived I lived a couple of different places in the Hollywood. But but I live in Parklebury, which is if you're familiar with La, mid city, mid Wiltshire district of La, massive compound of apartments as far as you can see. Dany, have you been to Park Lebrea as far as you

can see apartment buildings? Yeah, yeah, it's just it's just wild. So anyway, I lived and right down the street on Beverly up Houser and on Beverly was El Coyote. Now, El Coyote was my go to Mexican restaurant in the in the nineties and early two thousands when I kind of lived in that area. So I went back. As I said, we went to the magic show. And my my buddy, he loves this El Coyote as well. I used to go there with him when when I lived

there in the area. So we we went there to have some some great Mexican for this is like an old holl he would place. According to Tom Looney, Wyatt Irp eight at L Coyote, the great Wyatt Irp.

Speaker 3

Well, Looney shouldn't know he was around back then.

Speaker 1

Exactly exactly.

Speaker 3

So he told me.

Speaker 1

Actually, I brought this up when we were doing the TV show this week, so oh yeah, whyet up? You steep there? And I thought he was full of shit, and I looked it up. And Wyatt Earp lived till nineteen twenty nine. So the math does work out. L Coyote has been around for a long time, so it is possible. It sounds like bull crap to me, though, you know it's one of those things. It sounds like it just sounds ridiculous, and I don't think it's I guess I think Olk opened right around that time, but

I don't know who cares. So I go in there, and the only reason I'm bringing up this story is I order. I like crunchy tacos. They have good crunchy tacos at L Coyote. So I'm in there, I'm ordering my tacos. I'm doing my thing. And I don't think I sent this to you because you were in Hawaii. You want to take a guess how much one crunchy taco costs at El Coyote, Mexican restaurant in Los Angeles. One one taco, one time. This is a this is cheese, lettuce, uh, some kind of meat, and a tortilla.

Speaker 3

I'm gonna say it's six dollars and fifty cents.

Speaker 1

Six dollars and fifty cents. Let's see here, how about No, how about seven dollars and thirty eight cents. Wow, seven dollars and thirty eight cents for one taco. So for three tacos, we are over twenty two dollars for three tacos. For three taco Now, back in my day, Danny, I used to go in there and the taco was you know what was the title? It was like two bucks two fifty. I cadntplained about it, seven thirty eight thirty eight for does that seem a little excessive?

Speaker 3

Or am I?

Speaker 1

Am I out of my mind? Am I out of my mind?

Speaker 3

No? I mean, you know, we don't want to do what they call quote unquote old guy radio. Yeah, but we we even hear the youngsters bitching about food prices right now. Our teenage daughter, she came home the other day because she went to McDonald's with her friend from high school. There were eighth graders I guess the year before high school, and she said, can you guys believe it? It was twenty dollars for my food at McDonald's. So the kids are even bitching about this. You're allowed.

Speaker 1

No, it's it's ridiculous. And I so I order the tacos. I figured I was like, already there and you know, it's fine whatever, and so we got that, but they did not give me two free desserts though, Danny, when I was there, and I really would have liked for seven dollars and thirty eight cent frenchy tacos. I would like to have a nicer which this other place which is kind of closer to where I am, this other

Mexican restaurant which is kind of in the hood. Tacos I think, you know, three dollars each, which is still expensive, but I could get two for one, two and a half for one basically compared to al Cody. But no dessert. I did not have dessert. I figured I spent enough money.

Speaker 3

Yeah, what's the phrase you always say, rare and appropriate?

Speaker 1

Yes, rare and appropriate, rare and appropriate, That is Correctice.

Speaker 3

We've gone to Hawaii a couple of times, my wife and I since we've been married, and that's where we got married. Whenever we think about a little vacation, even if it's a quick turnaround, it's lax or long beach out to the islands. Yeah, it's a what four and a half five hour flight for a straight shot. It's not bad if you can get on Hawaiian airlines, which we did. Prices for the airlines been not that bad.

The price is for staying anywhere on the island or trying to get a rental car bad news to get around that we just took an uber or a taxi cab rather the old school uber to the hotel well, and we stayed at the hotel the whole weekend hive my suits. What was nice is the hotel had a little shuttle which they had an app attached to it so you could use it like an uber as long as it was like within five miles of the hotel.

So the one time we went out to eat a decent meal during the weekend, which cost over one hundred dollars, there easy we got a ride from the hotel, so it was nice. We found ways to save a little bit of money and still be on a small vacation. It was just three days and then boom back to California.

Speaker 1

What island did you go to?

Speaker 3

We went to Waikiki, ok So Honolulu main.

Speaker 1

This is the big one side, the big city, and then the other side.

Speaker 3

Is Paradise exactly. You try to stay away from as many of the tourists as you can, go on the sand early in the morning before they all get out there to PLoP their big fat whale butts down on the beach. So we knew that we needed to have a game plan to really take advantage for this turnaround. One of the nights, we decided, Hey, you know what, let's walk to the shops nearby. Pushed Koa in the stroller. He wasn't a fan. He wanted to hell out of

the stroller. He's got little velcrow sneakers on. You know what that means. He wants to put those sneakers down on the concrete and.

Speaker 1

He wants boots on the ground.

Speaker 3

Yeah, if you dare put these uncomfortable sneakers on a little kid that just learned how to run, best believe they want to run if they have to wear the shoes. So he's got these shoes on. He's pulling at him while he's sitting in the stroller, and he's giving us a dirty look, like, how dare you strap me into this thing? And you got these velcro contraptions on my feet at the same time, get to these shops. There's

a Tommy Bahama's restaurant there in the shops. It's kind of expensive, but why don't we just like split their chicken plate and I'll get a Caesar salad or something like that. I'm sure they'll throw some bread in. Boom. Bring it back to the hotel. That's our dinner. It's busy, but you know, not overwhelming, because it's like an early evening time. Now it's like six pm. But I got to go to the bar they say for the takeout food.

Chick from the bar comes over with her pad like she's going to take the order, and I'm like, okay, so I get you. And she didn't seem like she's all with it, Ben. She seems very preoccupied. I saw her on her phone at one point standing behind the bar. She wasn't really into her shift. If you know what I'm saying, I think you and I have both worked with people like that before.

Speaker 1

Many times, many times going through the motions, treaty like you're working at the DMV I that kind of thing. Yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah, So her coworker, he seemed like he was on top of things. She seemed halfheartedly there. I'm like, all right, whatever, as long as I get my food and I don't have to sit here and wait too long. And I tell her, I say, hey, as long as the wait's not too long because I have a little kid. I have a one year old out there raising hell. And

she kind of laughed. She's like, oh it shouldn't be too bad, and I'm like, all right, So I gave her the order, and I'm sitting there, man, I'm sitting there, sitting there, and I'm feeling bad because I know what's happening outside in the shopping center. I know co is running up and down the ramps trying to get on the escalator, screaming. I could hear him outside the restaurant by the way, so I got up. I kept excusing

myself to go out there and check on him. And I saw Brenda literally pulling strands of here out of the top of her head. She was not having fun out there. This kid was on he was on one. He was running and screaming. I think this is not politically correct now, but we used to say, like a banshee Indian.

Speaker 1

Racist, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, scream. I didn't get the mouth that.

Speaker 3

I know. I don't think you're supposed to say that anymore. But that's that's what my grandma would have said. If she saw him, she would have said, can you please control your child? He wanted to run, He didn't care who was in the way. He was trying to get on the escalator, and there's no way to stop a kid who just learned how to run. Get back in there, Benny. It's taken forever. I mean, this lady's not paying attention to anything. Finally, I tell her, look, I gotta get

out of here. So she sends one of the bus boys back to the kitchen to check on the order. He comes back with two bags and I'm like, cool. She gives them to me and she's like, oh, sorry about the weight. I'm walking out the restaurant and Brenda just has this this look on her face like she's gonna kill me. Hey, look, I got her food. Let's go. She grabs one of the bags out of my hand.

So I'm holding one bag. I take CoA in the other arm, and I'm holding them now, trying to at least, and she's looking at the receipt that they stapled onto her bag, and she's like, this is not our order.

Speaker 1

Shit.

Speaker 3

And I look at it, Ben, it's a list of like sliders and scallops and you know, stuff that we did not order. And I'm thinking, oh, you gotta be kidding me. She's frazzled. So she tells me, I don't give a f what's in the bags. We're walking back to the hotel.

Speaker 1

Now, was this a question is this a better order? Is this a more hearty order than your order, or is this a lesser order? Or into the decision whether to go back. If it's a lesser order, you got to go back. If it's a better order, you might keep it.

Speaker 3

You're good, Ben, You guys are maybe cut from the same cloth. Because as I get CoA back into the stroller, which was not easy, and we're pushing him back to the hotel, I showed him some of the food in the bag, specifically the mashed potatoes, which I didn't order mashed potatoes, but there were mashed potatoes in one of the bags. Something you should know about one year old CoA. He loves mashed potatoes, especially the expensive ones.

Speaker 1

Oh, he's got good taste, good palate.

Speaker 3

Brenda starts doing the mallor math in her head. Yeah, because the receipt doesn't show oh a total, just shows the items. Yeah, I think that we might have came up. I think we might have got some extras here.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Well, we get to the room, we're getting ready to turn the tyson fight on, and we lay the spread out on the hotel room table. There were scallop sliders. There were cheeseburger sliders. There were high end mashed potatoes a la carte nice, and we hit the mother load. There was a box of fries, which were delicious. And there was also a box of dessert, like some molten lava cake. Oh solid, Now rare and appropriate because I stay away from sugar as much as possible.

Speaker 1

When in Hawaii. Doesn't count.

Speaker 3

Right, exactly, we were, you know, eating the salt in thet We're dipping everything into the mashed potatoes. CoA dipped his whole fist in there. We're dipping sliders into the mashed potatoes, and then we're taking little bites of the dessert as we're watching Tyson this fight allegedly. Yeah, and Ben, the food was delicious. You know, my wife is kind of gangster from time to time. She looked at me and she said, you know, they still messed up. They

still owe us our food that you paid for. Oh boy. She gets on the phone, calls the manager, and the manager tells her, oh, we've been expecting you. You're the ones that were Your husband was waiting. You guys had your kid out in front of the restaurant, right And she said, yeah, I was trying to hold him down out there while he waited for the food. We waited forever, and that's why we had to get back to the hotel. She's like, well, we have your order here. Can you

walk here and get it? It's cold though. No, I can't walk back to your restaurant. But you know we could come back to the shopping center tomorrow. The manager said, no, can't do that, but tell you what, if you give me his card info, we can just refund it.

Speaker 1

Oh man boom.

Speaker 3

So she gives her my card info. We know that the refund is going to come, and I'm thinking to myself, well, here's our dinner money for tomorrow. We get a call the next day though, because before she hung up, the manager had her give her her cell number. Well, she gets a call a voice message from the manager saying, hey, I'm so sorry to do this to you guys, but we need the physical card to do the refund. But whatever. So the next day we went back to that shopping center.

She goes in with my card and very gangster like ben she says. The manager apologizes to her about the mix up with the orders, and Brenda tells her, oh, no problem. And by the way, after you get done with his card, I have my card right here because I would love to get a dessert for us. It's our anniversary, okay. The manager says, oh, no, no, no, no, you put your card away. It's your anniversary. We put you guys out by making you walk over here again.

Dessert is on us. She starts listing off the desserts they have, and Brenda played dumb as if she didn't know what the best dessert was.

Speaker 1

There you got more of that dessert?

Speaker 3

Yeah, so she got the molten lava cake. She walks out with a big smile on her face holding my credit card and she has a big box in her hand with more of that dessert, which I gotta say though, the only problem was we get it back to the hotel and we tried to eat it by itself, and it wasn't quite the same because we didn't have the salty, savory food to go along with it.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's the bliss point they call it right in cookie. Yes, eating food. We have the salt and the fat and the sugar and all that. Wow, you scored on that one man.

Speaker 3

That's man, not one free dessert, but two.

Speaker 1

To write a book, How to go to Hawaii on a budget. How to go to Hawaii on a budget and get really fat, Yes, and get massively obese, like like the cow that's named after me. All Right, we'll get out on that. I have a wonderful rest of your Saturday. I get the mail bag on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, and we'll catch you then.

Speaker 3

Astar Pasta by Folation

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