The Fifth Hour: Lining up for Sin City

Kutbooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

Wow.

The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard starts right.

Now in the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Big Ben and Danny g Radio. Happy Friday to you. The day before a very big event in the mal of Militia. We'll talk about that as we work our way through the Fifth Hour, The Extra Crispy, Extra Spicy, Not Original Recipe Podcast. You hear me every night during the week on the overnight show. You here Danny with Covido and Rich during the week can on the weekends here for the Fifth Hour podcast. We thank you for listening.

Well, you know, Ben, this high tech equipment we use to podcast every weekend cost one hundred and eighty seven dollars and iHeart is still in debt because of these headsets.

Yeah, I'm gonna go on Amazon and buy a vintage nineteen eighty one mister microphone is what I'm going to buy instead of the one thousand dollars microphone I'm talking into right now. Not that I'm complaining, Not that I am complaining. How can you complain? It's the second day of August, it is National ice cream Sandwich day to day, dully an ice cream sandwich. Now, I'm I'm a purist

It's hot. Got to enjoy yourself a little bit. I like the old school ice cream sandwich, the vanilla. But they have like the chocolate. Yes, okay, yeah, those are all right. No, those are better than all right.

Now, they're not better than our yeah they are, Okay. Listen, there's a place here in la In it's west of the four or five, so I don't go there very often. There's a creamery that makes the greatest ice cream sandwich in southern California, and the greatest I've had on the West coast. Actually, they have some of them you can get at like local grocery stores around here. But that's my go to for the ice cream sandwich. We're hanging out with all weekend long, and we'll be in Vegas.

Oh, because it's sponsored by Rapid Radio. That's what we're broadcasting on right now. That's right, walkie talkies. We love our rapid radios. I like that we're being teased. Every time you walk into the building, there's a whole wall of rapid radios. And do you know anything about that, Danny?

I have you gotten to the bottom of the rapid radios against the wall?

Yeah, when you walk in. What's the details on that one? Here, sir? Yesterday on Thursday afternoon, right as our pre show meeting was ending for Covino and Rich Scott, our boss got on a conference call with us and gave us the lowdown on those walkie talkies. He did, Yeah, they're they're figuring out how to charge them and program them right now. We're gonna be able to even take the suckers home. But we got to record videos once a week with them for the sponsor. Okay, ah, so they're for us

Okay, all right, I was wondering what they were doing there. I knew you'd have the answer because you're there during the day. I'm not there during the day. I don't know what's going on. But the reason that this podcast is different we have a studio audience.

We're exciting both your dogs. That is correct. We have in my podcast studio. Here we have Moxie.

She is sleeping right now, laying on her side with her tongue out, and we have behind Moxie, let me check here we have Luigi, who looks bored to death.

So side by side him, thousands of listeners right now.

Living the dream right now. If at any moment they get riled up, they might start barking. If one my takes is Missus the mark Danny, it might lead to a to a bark.

All right.

I'm just letting you know, you the listener, that if you hear a bark, it's probably gonna be Moxie, not Luigi.

But they are now.

MAXI did wake up because I looked at Moxie, so she woke up. Here my bulldog, my English bulldog, and she's now staring at me, wondering why I'm looking at her.

So we've we've got that. Last week I bought a dog and I need them emotion.

Let's get get to the meat of the matter here, Danny. Call this the pre and the post if you will.

Yeah, we've never done anything like this before. Well, I've never titled any of our podcasts pre show or postgame show.

Well, let's start with Viva Las Vegas, which is not It's like the primer. You know how when you paint, you're supposed to put primer on. Sure, some people don't do it, but you're supposed to do it. So this is make sure it has a lot of lead in it.

Yeah.

Well, if you're of our age, you grew up with that. And look at us now, Danny, we're doing so well. The malor Meet and greet Viva Las Vegas tomorrow. How exciting is that we're gonna be in Vegas. In fact, I'll be heading to Vegas later today. When we get done with this podcast, I will be getting in the Malamobile.

I used to love that mall.

There was a great, big and tall store there that I would go to get shirts that were like seventy percent off the normal price, but that closed during COVID, so I can't go there anymore.

I'll wave at Buffalo.

Bills, and then I'll keep going and I'll go right in past the Death Star where your Raiders play, and I'll make my way into Lost Wages, Nevada, the greatness of the Raiders, and we'll be hanging out. And then on Saturday, Saturday, not sure who's going to be there. We had a couple of people call up the other night that were flying in. We have at least the two people flying in from the Bay Area, which is

It wasn't Tart the coach who was famous for biting and chewing on a towel.

Yes, yes, Jerry Tarkanian would do that. He also coached the Spurs. He got an NBA job for like a month.

And yeah, and then he went to Fresno.

Right, Yeah, he was at Fresno. There was some guys with samurai swords that were on his team.

That was a mess. And I actually interviewed Jerry.

Tarkiani on the radio, which was one of the more disappointing moments in my career because I had looked up to him my entire life and Jerry was totally distracted. He agreed to do the interview, but he was driving. He wasn't driving. Somebody was driving him around and he was like playing games with his grandkids, which is great and wonderful, but.

We uh, patty cake, patty Cake, all right, what's your next question. Yeah, it was one of those deals. Danny.

I was like, oh man, what are we doing here? This is not this is not good, not good at all. We'll be in Vegas, not just me. Normally these meet and greets are just me. But Eddie's flying in. I don't know why he doesn't just drive, but he's flying in for the day.

First class, little taste, and then flying out that night.

We've got Coop is driving, Loraina driving with Coop.

Coop is probably flying high well even though he's on the ground.

Yeah, but they'll they'll be together and we'll be we'll be hanging out. So far, we've gotten RSVPs from Rob in Vegas. Avery in Vegas is gonna be there. So there's a couple of big names. We know that KGB is flying in from the Bay Area or Nesto.

We've we've met.

He was at the Minnesota Malor Meet and greet, he was at the Seattle Meet and greet, and so he's been to several of these things over the years and he will be at this one as well. So it's excited to see those guys again. And there's a bunch of people's super Bowarke at Steve's driving in from LA. We know that, and a bunch of other people of RSVPED, one of our big fans in Minnesota is supposed to fly in. So I don't know who's actually gonna be there, Danny.

Yeah, I feel like you're going to be there for three hours. At least three or four hours. I'll be there most likely, and you wonly eat, even though you'll be craving chicken fingers the entire time.

Well, I have been doing some extreme fasting recently, but I will I will, I will not likely eat your right because normally I feel guilty though, you know, Danny, because I want to say hello to everybody.

I feel like exactly yeah, I know. Yeah, You've talked about this before when we had our Southern California Meet and greet. What it is is, you are busy talking with everybody, so you feel like it would be rude if you're eating a chicken finger that has ranch on it right in front of a listener. Well, that would never happen.

There's no ranch all out. If I see anyone eating ranch, I'm kicking them out. Okay, I am kicking them out. I want to thank Slug. Also, Slug is the host of this. He did all the leg work. He's our boots on the ground. Yeah, so I want to thank Slug. Thank you Slug.

Oh yeah, but have some extra ranch on the table for Benny when he arrives. No ranch, no ranch will be harmed at all.

I believe that ranch matters, and I don't want to I don't want to take ranch away and kill ranch. But the thing about this, and this has always been my theory, the time right, the most valuable commodity that we all have is time. And as I've gotten older and I've been to way too many funerals over the years, in the last like ten years of my life here, so you can't buy more of it. And we know all don't those story. Once it's gone, that's it. You

And you know you don't want to waste it and all that.

So if you're willing to give your time up to hang out with us, you don't want to watch me eat a chicken.

Finger or something like that. Disgusting.

He wants to watch me eat I'm disgusting when I'm naughty, you certainly don't.

Want to watch. So this is like we took our our daughter who's about to enter eighth grade. We took the kids to In and Out a few nights back, and she had the what do they call the dressing the Yeah, is like an orange kind of yellow. Yeah, I'm glad you described it, because she had it dripping down her fingers and her wrist. Get a napkin, you filthy animal? Yeah, And can you imagine? And we've been teasing her because she's starting to get to the age

I would argue the most famous incident that happened in the meet and greet is when Wayne from Southee I did it for Mala, a famous drop seven years for Mala.

Also does it count as a meet and greet? When we did the pitch the Baker's Field get together, that was a meet and greet. Of course we had a famous Air Force listener who Air Force Andrew took his shirt off out after he got kicked out by security. He took his shirt off and tried to get sneak back in. His disguise was that he didn't have a shirt on. Yeah I was.

I was a bull. Strategy hard to believe. The security guard figured him out. My favorite part of the Baker's Field meet and greet and was hosted by Rod the Ambassador of bakers Field.

Yeah, nice steak dinner which was great.

We had a great dinner which was which was wonderful. Remember I had an issue with the tip.

Yeah, I wasn't. You thought you were sliding the waiter a one hundred dollars bill and it was accidentally a ten dollar bill. Yeah, like I didn't.

I tried to be smooth, and I totally screwed it up. I totally effed up. So it was a problem there.

So you're like a Hollywood star sitting there like a big hog at the table with a pipe, and you give this guy the secret handshake. He gets back to the kitchen and he has a ten dollars bill. Yeah. Oops, I had to go back and give him some more money. But yeah.

The thing that's also about that I remember is it was oppressively hot, as it often is in the summer in Bakersfield, and that we closed the minor league team down, but at seven o'clock it was still like around one hundred degrees.

Yeah. In their their VIP section was literally just those plastic pipes yeah that you can, you know, stick together for ladder ball and with holes drilled in it. And the water was dripping down the one above your head in the VIP section was dripping right on your head, big puddles.

Well, not only that it dripped some of it got in my in my crotch, so it looked like I had urinated my pants.

You killed it like hanging out.

With listeners and if they didn't know what happened, they're like, oh, boy, Meller, he had to pee his pants like it's a diaper, you know.

I was like, no, no.

I had nothing happened there. It was just the thing dripped from the cool zone or whatever they were calling it at the time.

So bad off.

But Wayne, Wayne in South he's tried to get me hammered. At the one in Boston. We actually me and Blind Scott and a couple of other fellas, the couple from Maine. We took off and the guy from one of the guys from Toronto came down and we just started walking around Boston. Then we ended up walking to see Vinnie. Another list who was working that night worked at the Marriott Hotel where a lot of the visiting teams would stay. So we went down and saw our guy Vinnie, and it was fun.

It was a good night.

So we'll see what happened. Seattle was awesome. Had a great time in Seattle. We had that one with JJ and Rant and Robbie the Mariner fan, some big names were at that event. Nostradinas among the Northwestern contingent that made an appearance at the mal of Meat greet there. So it's always always cool to do these things. So we look forward to tomorrow. I hope you can be there and we'll obviously have a lot of people in Vegas that are fans of the show, so we'll see what happens.

I did want to mention briefly the.

Recap on the Malor Palooza twenty twenty four, as it is a final it is in the books, and congratulations to everyone that participated in that.

Some big name acts.

We didn't have as many music acts as we've had in the past, so some of the fellas from the past we're not in. Our buddy from Richmond did not submit a song this year. We lost our guy from from Flint, Michigan. He didn't send a song in obviously, our buddy in the Ukraine busy helping out the Ukrainian military and Jayscoop, so he wasn't part of it.

But we had our.

Favorite judge back, Inka Terror from New York as always wonderful classically trained musician.

Look him up. He's known as Inca Warrior. You're gonna look him up. I'm not making that up.

That's he's performed all over the world and he's a fan of the show. And he was with us as a judge. And we had some terrible comedy we had. We had Leprechaun sucked. I mean, there were some bad acts, but I mean people were trying. And the top four, the final four, if you will, we had Pam and Seattle who won last year, a classically trained musician who may or may not be friends with InKo Terror Christy in Kansas, who I like a She did like a Yankee doodle Dandy last year. This year she did an

The park, but he didn't win. The winner.

Coming out of left field, Rob in the three two one from the Sunshine State Wow and Rob did a song in a SpongeBob voice. It was a SpongeBob song about our show, and he won the Popular vote in the studio. He won the vote of the people. So congratulations to Rob in the three two one, you are the winner of the Mallet paloozat twenty twenty four and you deserved it. And we only had a couple people, Danny, that didn't show up. Normally there's a bunch of people

So thank you. I do appreciate that.

Pretty pretty, pretty cool. Ernie Banks would be proud. As I always say, Danny, it's a beautiful day for a radio show. Let's do two today and so Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. It's exactly what I did as I was invited.

Oh yeah, yeah, I saw this on social media.

I was invited to sit in on the Rogan and Rodney show and Rogan was not there. Fred the Dean of LA Sports was gone on vacation.

Instead of two pros and a cup of Joe it was no pros and two hose pretty much pretty much. Yeah, that's good name. I like that. Yeah.

So Rodney Pete, former Lions quarterback and played at SC he was gone. We think he was on Magic Johnson's boat in the south of France, but we don't know. But I said it with Jonas three days. I did Monday and Tuesday seven hours of live radio, and then on Wednesday we did six hours of live radio. Was not in Siberia. Actually didn't think it was all that difficult. And I feel like I was prepared for this, Danny, because back in twenty seventeen and twenty eighteen, I was

I loved your hockey takes back then.

Let me tell you it was so funny. I had to do this thing called Red Sox Review, which is the Red Sox postgame talk show like Dodger Talk out here. So they said, hey, it's part of the night programming. When the Red Sox game ends, you got to get on there and talk about the Sox game.

So it's fine.

I watched the game on the satellite and then I'd talk about the game, but i'd have people, you know, let's go to John Leaving Finway talking about it was hilarious. It was wild, wild and crazy. But I did that two or three nights a week. So that was three hours of local radio in Boston and then the four hours on the overnight. And so I did that, like I said, two or three nights a week. But in those days, I couldn't do the Fox Show from the remote studio, so I had to drive in. So I

Place.

I was living in Glendora at the time, so I had one hour to get from there to Sherman Oaks, and if there was any kind of an accident or anything, I was completely porked.

That was it.

So but I was able to put it off. And so I'm I'm like, this is much much better now, but I want the record to show that I did still go in for the overnight show, and there was enough time between shows where I had a chance to kind of decompress for an hour and then crank the engine up again and get back on the horse with Jonas.

Did you guys just rip on every LA team except the Clippers? Yeah? We I ripped the Dodgers. I mean Jonas.

Jonas is an assassin, yeah, for the teams.

And he's like you he if people are swimming this direction, he goes in the opposite direction.

Well, I love the Dodgers, but I also hate bullshit. So, like, the trade deadline was.

Going on, and uh, that.

Swarmy Vassa who you know, he's the Dodger insider travels with the team.

Oh I saw him on MLB Network the other day.

Yeah, so he comes on there it's like an hour, half an hour to go before the deadline, and he's like.

Yeah, I think the Dodgers they got what they needed.

You know, they got Tommy Edmond and they got Kopek from the from the White Sox.

I think they're good, you know, company man. And I'm like, no, this is the freaking Dodgers.

This isn't the nineteen eighties or nineties Dodgers. This is the modern Dodgers. This is not acceptable. This is embarrassing.

I know.

I mean, come on, go ahead, get me a starting pitcher, get Jack Flaherty. And then it was so cool because literally three minutes until we were passing the baton over to Petrol some money, we had Victor brick on for a haikup and.

No, God, that's award winning radio. I love Vic.

But oh god, I get the flash, he said, Yoko Zuna of Radio. I get the flash. Dodgers have traded for Jack Flaherty.

Yeah, Tiger, you put that out into the universe. I was like, yeah, there we go, there we go.

Now I give the do I originally gave the Dodgers an A minus and then I lowered it to a B plus because Jack Filert will get hurt.

But I don't care. I like that they got him. He's a so cow guy.

I felt like a dinosaur, and you probably did too if you saw the photo that Jack Flherty's mom.

Sent out him.

As a toddler wearing a Dodger like onesie in nineteen ninety seven, when I was working on the Dodger flagshift station doing Dodger pregame programming.

In nineteen ninety seven.

Holy crap, where's the time gone? But anyway, I was happy about that, so it was fun a couple of days.

The phrase of.

The the phrase of the week. Now this is by request. The request came in from wild Man of Morgan, West Virginia. He says, it's the time of the year. Me, being a guy that works outdoors, I get soaked with sweat everywhere. I know what swamp ass is. But how did it come to be? And how can a guy prevent or counter against it? All right, so he wants us to look into swamp ass. All right, Now, this is an interesting request a wild man. And I imagine the humidity.

There's gold bond that type of stuff. So there you go.

Any of those things knock yourself out. We don't really have to worry about that. Danny and Radio, we don't get it. Swamp ass sitting at.

A radio studio. That was your ass crack tip of the day.

There you go for all your ass needs. Turn to the fifth hour. We're here to help you out. That's a drop.

Yeah, let me add that to the metalcock. H Well, what the heck? Why not?

Well we'll get out on that, Danny. It is Friday, the second day of August.

Anything you want to promote here, I'm gonna have a fun Friday afternoon show today with Covino and Rich doing the game, not Chipotle Worker or WNBA player because the Olympics are going on. I've been doing chip Worker or Olympian. So you'll find out if we have a winner, a contestant on the line, who wins one of our water bottles or not. That's five to seven pm on the East side, and that's two to four pm in beautiful Chico, California,

Oh yeah, that's fire season now it's back. Didn't have a bad fire season last year or so. Oh, Southern California kind of was fortunate this summer so far.

Yeah, and we'll see what happens. I have a wonderful, wonderful rest of your day to day here on this Friday. Don't forget.

Yeah, Saturday in Vegas we and lost wages in the botto tomorrow.

A bunch of hookers and cocaine. Stay tuned. Asta pasta, got a murder. I gotta go.