The Fifth Hour: Laughter Is Timeless

G Radio. I know you very nice, Yes, it is very nice. And the beat continues here. And uh. Being a distant relative of the great Nostre Damas and friend of Nostred, I have been getting amazing feedback, even though you have no idea when I actually recorded this, but amazing feedback to the Friday and Saturday podcast. So you know, we decided, let's give you more. Let's give give the people what they want. I give the people what they want.

I know you're excited. There there's a bunch of kids over there, Tom Down kids that must be the kids that from your school, Danny G. Are they from your school? You need a couple more days to travel. Yes, well, this being Sunday, I will not be back on the radio show Sunday night in the Monday. Today's a travel day. We gotta go. So today I will be pushed into an airplane like a sardine. I was able to touch the bun and I will sit there and just veg out. I can't sleep on planes, so it's going to be

very all right. I will try to make the most but hopefully they do have some kind of internet connection on the plane so I can watch some games on my my phone traveling across the country. But on this Sunday podcast it is more of the same. And if you missed Friday and you miss Saturday, bad job. But you have been on the road. That's why I missed all week of the radio show. But my guy, Danny G, how long did this taket? How many hours Danny G did you spend going over all this amazing audio content?

Then this was a piece of cake. It only took me seventeen and a half hours and one divorce. Yes, the Queen Tinderoni now so upset at Danny G Radio because of this that there is no longer bliss in the relationship unless there is enough of me. Let's give it up now for the latest edition, the Timeless Classic edition of the Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard. Some of the old, some of the new from terrestrial radio, from

the podcast It's all for you. Here it is, and have a great rest of your Sunday and I will be back. I'll be back later this week on the radio show. Thanks for the warning, Hey, just get it right to it. It's Mallard's mounting money. The Thanksgiving Edition. It's I don't know if you know about this is this big holiday later this week smoke Runner and Coop versus Lloyd and Eddie. It is the Thanksgiving Edition. Category one Pilgrim, Category to Family, Category three stuffing, and Category

four gravy. Smoke Runner, you are on the line first. You get to choose first. Let's go with programs, Okay and Lloyd. That leaves you with family, stuffing or gravy. Pick a category. Alright, alright, we're going to the bullpen. Alright, we're going to I've got the book. Pat Jason in Ottawa, you're coming out. You're my long reliever, Jason. There's a lot of garbage time here, you know, that was at dish performance. The guy was very tough for Lloyd to

make decisions. All right, Jason and Eddie. Jason family stuffing or gravy family? All right, smoke runner and coope. These athletes were born in another country. Ready go big Poppy. Yes, um, white point guard. He won two m vps, but Kobe should have won him. Yes. Uh, Spanish basketball player. His brother is pal oh yes. Uh he is a running back for the Eagles. He just got traded from the Dolphins. Yeah yeah, um the stifled tower. Smoke runner. He's got

a slow, methodical paste to him. That's a hundred and sixty points. Hundred and sixty point all right, now bad Jason and Eddie up this family. These athletes all have family members that also played. Alright, go current Warriors star. He's the third option buyd step No no, no, yes, Lakers number one picked this year. His dad is the big mouth La Bar Hall of Fame tight end with

the Broncos. His brother is Sterling. He's now on the show. Yes, Warriors Hall of Famer, old school shot, free throws underhanded, No no, no, Um, his son's playing in the NBA like Scooter and uh, what was the other Drew his son won the dunk contest. White guy with the clippers, Oh Griffin racist. Hey, it's Ben, and we go to the bank. Not the kind of bank where we actually get money, the audio bank. He's on. I can't hear him. The best of the best of the best of the

fifth Hour talk. All right, we move on here, and asked Ben on the Ben Mallary Show, this next one's coming over with Danny g Radio. It's our buddy Luther on Facebook. He says, for Danny Gen since the inception of Tinderoni tips, how many children have been conceived by virtue of your advice? Oh, let's see. Well, we've been doing that segment since April, so that's about a hundred

and fifty days. I would say one one conception per week soft divided by seven seven into one fifty, that's twenty one and a half Big Bend, twenty one big babies and one PREMI nice. Wow, come on out there now, how much Mr Smooth get for those two? Yeah, because he's part of your bid. How about like we're on in the Twin Cities, So does that like Adrian Peterson alone might have those numbers? Right? That might just be Adrian Peterson's sheet his accomplishments. All right, it's asked Ben,

your questions, our answers, will keep it going. Steve on Facebook says, Ben, after you're done making whoopie, what are you more likely to say? A good job by you? Be good job by me? Or see? How about that? Well? Probably a combination of A and C. Probably a combination of anacy. I would like the extended winner. You always

go a good job by you? You want to reassure you want you reassure that you want that, and then you know, well, I was gonna do a joke, but I'll probably leave that alone because you guys have just cut it up and I don't want to hear it again five years from now. So next Joe. Hashtag guys, Ben, if you got a question for one of the guys here, Danny. This is from Chad on Facebook. He says, Danny, is it just me or does Eddie look like Chancho from Nacho Lee Brandy all grown up? That's not right, He's

very cute. What are you talking about? You know? The spotlights on you? Wrong button, Bob. So I'm gonna pass the baton to you really quick. From Will on Twitter it or he says e Walk of Sports Talk. What was your favorite moment on the Mallard Show. Well, obviously that would be when I shut down the entire vast Fox Sports Radio network. Well not that, Bob, but you survived many men, many men would not survive that, and

you you kept your job. Yeah. I think I was protected by a series of emails that got progressively more confusing, and by the time I got up to management, they didn't know what had happened. So they said, all right, well, I'm glad that you guys fixed it. Whatever it was. Well, I think management's memo was, well that show from seven years ago was better than what was on the air already, So good job by you. I think that's what they said.

I think that I believe that. Shout out to the Steve de Sega March two thousand and seven, if you wanted an update on the Oh seven Final four, you got it all right. The next one, here's a group question here on asked man on the Ben Mallory Show on Fox Sports Radio. I think it's Mario on Twitter. He says, Guys, if you had to have an anchorman all network team fight, which three Fox Sports Radio personalities

are are you rolling with? All? Right? So you're I can pick any of our personalities here at Fox, and I can get I can lead them into battle. Okay, I'm gonna go. My first pick would be Tom Looney. Uh, tremendous, muscle size, steroid abuse, very strong man. So I would put him there as the muscle, right, I would put him in there as the muscle. He'll be my first guy. And then as you go up and down, you're like, I like Jay Moore, but he's a comedian. You know,

you don't go to battle with comedians. You don't do that. Uh. Maybe Colin Cowherd, although I don't know him that well. I've met him a few times over the years, but he's got a whole herd of people with him. So that would be good in battle to have a herd of people with you, So that wouldn't be so bad. Uh. And and then I would probably go Mike North because he's got those Chicago street smarts. You know, he's got that.

You know, he he sold hot dogs in the streets of Chicago and then he became this medium mogul in the Windy City. And so I would go that would be my Big three. I would I would go down that. What about you, Eddie Well, I would absolutely positively start my squad with Lincoln Kennedy, former Raider offensive lineman, who uh and I think he's a little bit meaner than he's He comes off as a very very nice guy, but I think if he was in a fight, he could flip the switch, if you know what I'm saying.

And then you know, we'll keep the NFL. You're going with Brady Papingo, all right, and now you know what, I'll throw a big ben in there, because just just for you know, size wise, I gave the wall, I gave a ride back to Lincoln to the living. I gave him right back to his hotel when he's visiting our studios here, and Lincoln made me feel like a nine year old girl when I was driving back. Very rarely, very for sharing, very very rarely do I feel small.

You know, I'm usually bigger than everybody. Old alrighthout out Bill and Jackson. All right, what about you, Danny g Let's see, I would start the squad with David gag gag On and then KIRTI Morrison. We made some defense on the team, so Kirk Morrison, and then I'd say Andy Furman because you gotta. Because he's nuts. He would write letters that is a complete to whoever we were battling against, and they would be blinded by the letters. They wouldn't know what to do. All right, Bob, you

want to pick three guys here very quickly. I'm leading off with Mike North cal See. Seems like the kind of guy who knows somebody who killed somebody and got so I gotta roll with my Absolutely, I'm gonna take Jonas Knox number two. I don't know why, I just feeling could be a good addition. And I'll wrap it up with Michael Harman, Mr himself. Harmon's built like a tank, though he has built like a I'm actually on the live air. Yes, wrong, it is timeless, and here it

is on the fifth hour. All right, let's get to it. It's the NBA pick and we each picked three players. Go ahead, Eddie, let me go with Anthony Davis. All right, Anthony Davis is off the board. Wrong button, Bob, you have the second pick, future Laker Russell Westbrook. Russell Westbrook is off the board. I will go that would be me, Ben. I'm gonna go with James Harden of the Houston Rockets, Danny Gardio, Danny g Radio to mar De Rozan Compton's

in the house. He's been hot lately. Yeah, cool off, don't worry, and one more Danny, just to show you I'm not a Clipper hater. Ben, I'm gonna go with former Laker Chris Paul. Good luck with that. I will go with LaMarcus Aldridge of the Portland Trailblazers with my second pick, and Bob Garris next up the NBA pick. Of our standings are on our Facebook page. Ben Mallard show, look the like button. Who you got, Bob clips on the back to back? Give me Damian Lillard, Damian Little.

I don't even have him on my list here, I don't have Damian Lillard on my list. All right, Eddie Garcia, you got the back to back, Eddie? All right, I'll take who knows if Hill player or not. But what the hell? De Marcus Cousins, he's out for the year. Okay, you picked the guy out for the year. You've just given up the thing. Boy, you're showing that. Bob Garret your next up on the NBA pick current Laker Jordan Clarkson men. Oh, you should have picked the Marcus cousins.

Ye have been good, all right, I will take with my final selection. Has picked the Chris Well, you know somebody did. I will take. Uh, let's go with DeAndre Jordan's of the Clippers with the last pick, Danny Gradio. So you liked my Chris Paul pick earlier. Huh. He's gonna bounce back after breaking his ankles. You know he's gonna be mad break his ankles. It was just a stupid internet vine. Big deal. I need a double double

to seal the victory for tomorrow. Pau gasol pas Ah, Yeah, there it is the NBA pick him our daily fantasy game and uh excited about uh the best of the best of the best of the fifth hour. Come on in, man, excite a little female conversation on the radio. Hello, Genie and Metford. Yeah, what's up? Bell? Oh boy? That was a good who's there? Good luck? No? Say organ ducks quack quack No. If I was any better, I'd be

a goose making a goose. Not a great goose though, because you've Ben Mallard had a farm with a goose goose stare and the goose goose stare goose to me everywhere everywhere, Bubby, we know where you're tickled. Well, there's not a full moon to Nigenie. There's a blue moon over your house. Yeah, I just then I can walk around with the phone now. Actually on the menu tonight, well, I know what's on the menu. You're serving as every

Thanksgiving you always served not turkey but wild turkey. You also have a little alligator hops alligator a you have that on the Italian salad. I think you don't know what salam I think you're done. A lot of mushrooms. All right, I'm scared. I don't know what that means. Are you hanging out with your girlfriend Margarita again? Is she right? Next? I got to Genoa salami and the pro bolonge? Yeah, alright, a lot of merrom I'm gonna give you the blue ribbon and hang up on you.

That's very nice. I want to try the pizza. Well I was good, right, fantastic? Right? All right, so be Alice you on Fox. Let's go now we go to New York and we hello to Real Talk. Who's on Fox Sports Radio? Hello, Real Talk, yo, what real talk in the house with some real tough for that a may by, bye bye, back up? What then? What's up? You're celebrating the festivities of Thanksgiving and the most important day the day before Thanksgiving. Forget the day after Black Friday.

It's the day before the biggest drinking day of the year. Yeah, I gotta be Black Friday. Then I gotta be that. I didn't come up with your name. They came up with your day name. Explain the people in on the stars. I didn't come up with it. Yeah, and you suspect now, but real talk, man, Yo. You're my boy, You're my boy, and I love you. But yo, man, this dude, Manzell, you gotta let me ride on this for a second.

Give me sixty to ninety seconds just to speak on this and you can respond to retorting anyway you want it. But let me break it down if you want you some real talk about this. This do Manzell. This is probably how it went down. Yo. He was he was drinking. They put him in rehab and set him down the office and he said, Johnny, we love you. You got potential, but dude, no more, no more in used papers, we don't see a name, We don't hear anything about you.

Definitely no drinking. So dude, he just caught drinking. He just caught wiling out, and then I'll put the smack on him. You know what I'm saying. Manzel never should have agreed to that. He never should have went out and partied. I never should have got caught. So when he did. It's like when you're a parent and you tell your kids, dude, don't do anything bad. If you do, I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to do something.

I'm gonna have to punish you. And when the kid doesn't. Anyway, painted Cleveland in the corner, you have to they have to do something. He said, like, what can you do? What can you do when you when you do when you tell, dude, if you keep wiling out, we're gonna put the SmackDown on you. And he keeps wiling out. They didn't. They didn't have They didn't have to do anything real talking. I'll tell you why they're the Browns. No one cares about the Browns, all right. They suck.

They've sucked ever since they came back to the NFL with Chris Palmer as their coach. They've been terrible. The Cleveland Browns and so you you start Johnny Man's l he's a party boy. See if the guy can play, see that, maybe they got There are plenty of guys in a play, Miguel Cabrera and base My friend Looney always brings up Macguel Cabrera, a raging alcoholic, but a Hall of Fame baseball player, a wonderful player for the Tigers. We don't know whether Manzel can play in the NFL

or not. He hasn't been given a fair shake. Now he likely won't. It's his your right to a point. But here's the deal. He's sloppy. He's like a sloppy criminal. You know, it's like I hear police officers always tell me that, you know, they don't actually solve a lot of these crimes. It's the criminals that are sloppy that get themselves caught. Johnny Manzel should have followed the teachings of Derek Jeter. Derek Jeter partied like a rock stars

entire career. There's no photos of that, there's no video of that. Nothing. He did it clean. Manzel's an amateur at this. Yeah, but yeah, he's not by himself. He's around a bunch of professional players. Who know the deal. It could teach him a little game and say, listen, dude, watching next watch your face and you know, but the thing is listen with Cleveland wrong to plant their flag and say no more drinking, no more drug and no more partying. Maybe so, but that's where they plant their flag.

Johnny manzels a man, and he said, you know what, I'm not gonna do that that he needs to he needs to own up to that. If not, when you get caught, you gotta get you gotta get punished, because then then what's the point of making What's the point of saying I'm gonna punish you if you do something and do nothing when you do it. It's ridiculous and over It's an overreaction, is what it is. Let's see the guy play. If he can't play, you get rid

of him. But what's the point. He's gonna go somewhere else, is gonna It's gonna come back to bite the Browns in the ass, thank you, real thalk. It's gonna bite them in the ass. Because Johnny Manzel is gonna go

to Philadelphia or San Francisco. He'll get another opportunity and maybe he'll fall on his face, but there's a shot that he turns out to be pretty good and then the Cleveland Browns will be drafting their seven seventeen different quarterback in the first round over the last thirty years. Keep going down the same same rabbit hole. Ben Mallard. So I'm watching the NBA last night and the Toronto Cleveland game. I'm checking that out. The dance team. Do you see this is I guess this is a new

thing the Cavaliers are doing. So the Cavaliers have decided that when they want to get ready for a game, they're gonna stand out in the court and the Toronto Raptor cheerleaders and it looks like they have one cheerleader for every player. They have a very large cheerleading squad. So the the dancers are out there at mid court shaking with their mama gave him, and the Cleveland Cavaliers, led by Lebron James and the rest of the Browns are standing in the middle of the court while the

dancers are shaking their boobies right around him. It's outstanding. It's just tremendous. It's great. And there's a couple of photos of Lebron standing there like, who decided this is a good idea. You can't wait two minutes for the dances to get off the court. It's just great. I mean, it's uh what brain surgeon on the Cavalier roster said, I know this will help us out. We'll stand out on the court no matter what. We when we're ready

to play, we're ready to play. Should point out that Cleveland lost the Toronto the Raptors using their dinosaur like strength to get by Cleveland one oh three to ninety nine. It is the Ben Maller Show on Fox. We're doing live. It's a holiday, we're doing live, and here we are exactly a lot of turkeys in the oven as we speak. I recommend the fried bird. I've never had the fried turkey, but I do recommend it. It's delicious by all accounts, although very dangerous. You go to YouTube and type in

fried turkey accident. Who's the biggest turkey in sports? Yin and Yang radio? One hour? Who you thinkful? For the next hour, who's the biggest turkey in sports? Don't want a part of it, not gonna go down that road. Don't do it, don't be a part of it, don't need it. All right. So that's that's the second point. Now the third one, this pops up not only for Thanksgiving but also for Christmas. That's a big one. This one's at dozy all right, listen close. There'll be a

test later. Guide the lazy sports talk Radio. You hear this, turn the station off. Who would you like to invite the Thanksgiving dinner? Who dead or alive? Dead or alive? I'd like Babe, Ruth, Wilt Chamberlain and Jesus No, no, no please. So if any of those three things pop up, I'm telling you it's it's like the play the vermin. Better than that. These people are better than that. They don't need that. You don't want to hear that, don't be a part of it. And that's your guide the

lazy sports Talk Radio. You will hear none of those things on this show. You won't hear good radio. But you won't hear any of those things. I promise you. Those will not come up. Coop might ask me one of those cool do you ask Ben later this morning? And Coop might ask me one of those questions, but I I'll shoot him down if you're not gonna ask me those questions. Yes, Coop, that gets not anymore. That was it was on your list, Cooper. You well, I

don't know what's I mean. I don't provide the questions, of course not. You better not, Coop. This is listener generated content, exactly. I have nothing to do with it. Exactly. You're listening to the best of the Fifth Hour. I didn't even know that was a thing. I'm sure it's not very long, but here it is the best of the best of the best of the fifth Hour, you know. Ado. Alright, flexus and put on some good pantles. Here we go. All right, throw me a good one then, yeah, so

this is perfect number nine. This proves its proves you jackass. Okay, this proves that all of this is just tom fool is just alright, Relax, I'm trying to I'm trying to if I get it, alright, Alright, alright, here we go. I'll go. He's not gonna get what I wanna. The angle i'd like to go, I will go. I'll just throw this up fruit banana, get out there. You got it right? Oh my god, stop laughing, Cooper Loop, that's my man. Insane to me that you would pay your

hard earned money and watch him suck very expensive. Coop, the team's terrible. I mean, as I was out there on Sunday night, they they're really bad. I mean, they're just they lost to a team. We're in high school uniforms. People like you Ben, who are bandwagon fans, haven't jumped on the Clipper bandwagon. Yes, what a beaut He jumped on that bandwagon at a really weird time coup in twelve games. I thought, well, this would be a good bandwagon to jump out now. I told here's my advice

to Coop Pattie. I told him, I solicit you buy tickets right behind the Laker backboard. Okay, because maybe Cobe was shooting airball. Keep it. It's like a souvenir air ball. That's what they ought to do the Lakers. When Kobe shoots an air ball, if a fan gets it, they get to keep it. That'd be a baseball move, and that'd be great, that would be great. Ridiculous, then the weight of the world has been lifted off. Ridiculous. I'm not no, I'm not saying that he's a great player.

That's great, that we should be celebrating this final year. I mean, it happens. Guys, get old there they get down and so why do we gotta like take a big dump on him all. He chose to come back and play. That's his decision. He could have retired a couple years ago. He once he's getting twenty five millions, but he's the best competitor we've ever seen, and he wanted to see if he could come back from the injury, that great wing man without track and nothing he needed.

Coops now walked out of the studio. There's no Coops now leaving. He's now walking out to a Venture Boulevard and he is going, it's kind of cold out there. Cool for l A. I don't know if you want to go out there. All right, Sure, you got your key car, you can get back in. Yeah, we're not letting you back in. I'm actually on the live air. Yes, wrong, it is timeless, and here it is on the fifth hour. It's six line tribute to Roddy Piper. Roddy Piper, allegend,

legend who passed away over the weekend. And the way this works, we've got all six lines now filled. Calling lines the Fox Sports Radio are completely full, and we will give our our six line salute to Rowdy Roddy Piper and a celebrity joining the six Line Tribute. Yes, we have pulled out Danny G. Radio. He's gonna be my line sex. How about that? The legend Danny G. Big Ben. I'm a long time button pusher, first time caller. Yeah,

you know, I would say that the whole famer. Rowdy Roddy Piper was Canada's best gift to us and he affected my life. Unfortunately for me, not so great for my older brother. It was a good day. We were in elementary school. He picked me up in our backyard body slammed me on a pile of rocks and shouted, I'm Rowdy Roddy Piper. Let's go to Dwyane, who's in Tennessee on Fox Sports Radio. Hello, Hello Dreane, you want to get on the radio. All right, hold on a second,

we'll get you on the radio. Duyne. I want to make sure you get on the radios. Are we uh, Danny? Are we ready in there? Can we put this guy alive on Fox? You want to try this again? Yeah, Ben, ask him to turn his radio down and clear his throat. Yeah, turn your radio down, Dwayne, and can you cough a couple of times? Yeah? I'm good, Oh good, alright, perfect, all right, all right, here we go. Let's let's do it from the top here three two one, It's the

Ben Mall Show on Fox. We're live. Let's say hello to Dwayne in Tennessee. Hello, Dwayne, Hey, how you doing? Hold on it? Say what that? Danny? What was wrong with that? No? No, no no, what was wrong with that? Danny? Know why you screwed it up? You You weren't no, no, no no. The green but the green light was not on. Do you guys need to sound more natural because we like the audience to think that the show is live. Okay, what's on your mind? Dwayne? Hey, look here, I want

to weigh in on the paved minute situation. Uh me being from Tennessee, everybody thinks paid men and as a guy, but I, for one, came standing. I hope they burned him at the State. Wow the microphone throttler, Yeah, YEA so much fun going through the archives in the fs OUR computer system yesterday when I was in there for Hartman and Schwartz. As I promised on the Saturday podcast, I found even more gems in the computer system. Man.

Hearing that full call from Genie especially took me down memory lane, and I think to finish off this Sunday show, I'll finish up the way I finished yesterday by playing some of the classic timeless drops, starting with clip of when the famous w w E champion Russef called the show best friends, We're bet friends, We're pretty impressed. I gotta say, usually Ben's lying about who he's friends with.

Still remember right now, do you remember the story of bad give your shoes because you were so much back in the day. Remember that, Yes, exactly, see that A cigarette and night landed in my hoodie and I get it's my beautiful white, fuzzy hoodie. I have a statin nightcoun on. That's all school. How about a lace cutty taste like a touchdown in your mouth? Yes? Then I would have MLB put angry Bill in his seat right behind home plate and have a ball hit him square

in the eye and say you help on yourself? What about a nine year old girl? Then I love you? Hey man, you might not notice, but not black about that. I went to I went to school dressed up as a as a giant tampon. Who's gonna eat the little Ben? There up against the hard one here that dogs licked that whole thing. Damn the perverted comedian Louis c. Kate. They're drafting of Robert nick nickim Nickomjason, I should listen. Richie? Hello, alright,

come on bad let him finish? Really you what you were? Craving? Lionel Richie that I saw her boom No, I'm a believer. Bunch of hookers and cocaine. Last week I bought a dog and I need the emotion. You baked the balls, you put them in the I know how much you love the b Have you ever lost a cat? Hi? There, I'm Andrew Hoffman. I am a monkey fan. Roses are red, violence are blue. Your text are a dread and so are you. Oh that isn't funny, Hey told Stool, thank

you for rocking with me weekend. Really appreciate you downloading the Fifth Hour podcast as Ben and I worked very hard on it every week. Thank you. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday. Ben will be back on Live Radio in a couple of days, and he'll be back on the podcast this coming Friday. Later. Skater gotta murder, I gotta go