Kubbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the A.
Everyway The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallor and Danny g Radio. It is Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. This is a big day because it's another Sunday. We can x off the calendar. We're a Sunday closer to the return of the NFL all those silly season. This is a good time for sports radio. The last week has been pretty good for all kinds of innuendo, chatter, jibber jabber, all the back fence talk and all that. So it's been it's been pretty good for those of us to do this for
a living and talk about football. So it's been fun.
Yeah. I was laughing my ass off because I heard a promo run on our network the other day where you were basically calling Justin Fields a bum.
The guys A bum. The guys a bum. Yeah, no, I'm not a fan. But that said, like you look at some of the rumors and what's been going around and all that. But like certain teams Justin Fields could end up with where he would actually be an upgrade. But I don't think he's particularly good. I know he's a gambler. It's hard to trust Justin Fields. Yeah, he's been in the FL four.
What I think your quote was, he's good for one or two highlights a game.
Oh yeah, Well he's the perfect TikTok quarterback because if you look at just a couple of highlights on TikTok, you're like, oh, man, dude, this guy's amazing. Why would this is the greatest quarterback of all time? Why doesn't every team try to get Justin Fields? Hell, the Chiefs should trade Mahomes to get Justin Fields. He's that good. But then you watch an entire game and you watch him get sacked way too many times and fumble here and throw an interception there, and yeah, it's a bit
of a problem. Now. You did leave a cliffhanger at the end of yesterday's podcast, Danny, you pointed out that you were packing for a trip, but you did not and now it's where you are going. You did not reveal where you are headed.
Then you could actually help with the travel plans. Once we land, we're gonna have to be very creative with our budget, our food budget, because we're not going to be able to eat out a lot. We're gonna have to make some costco trips during the trip. But yeah, we're gonna fly tonight to Waikiki. Nice.
Are you spending your time in Waikiki? Are you gonna go to one of the other islands.
Later in the week, We're going to go to that Disney property, Wannie. Yeah, as my wife, she had to take like this three hour Disney exam that travel agents do and they get a discount on Disney properties once they're qualified Disney representatives. Oh yeah, thanks to that little hookup, we're able to afford a couple of nights there where Baby CoA is gonna be in Disneyland Heaven. Well, that is fun.
I would recommend eating at Costco because you can get the old court yeaod court.
Yes, some beautiful views from the Hawaii costcos.
Yeah. I have not been to the Costco and Waikiki, but I know the one in Kawaii is insane.
So yeah, it's so beautiful. We saw that one on our honeymoon.
Yeah, that place is nuts the col That's the greatest Costco view I've ever been at.
Also, we talked about I mentioned Covino's twelve hour flight. Well, this is going to feel like twelve hours to the wifey and me because we have a baby on board. What's it going to be like with that five hour flight in a baby? How are we going to keep them entertained? We got those little toys that they've invented that have the suction cups on them, so you can stick those on the tray in front of you on
the little window. Different toy and gadgets and gizmos that have been on Shark Tank that supposedly will have him entertained. But hey, Co's like us been, We're just bigger versions of him. Hand him a toy, he's you know, he's into it for five minutes, then he throws it down and he wants what's next.
Yeah, well he's on kid time, and that's the problem. That flight to Hawaii, what is it like five hours or something like that to fire our flight, but for kid time, that's like fifteen hours on kid time. And he starts crying, Yeah, you didn't do like a starter flight, Like a starter flight would be like the Vegas or Phoenix from LA. You're going all in, well, you're going all married to Well.
She books people's flights in their travel every day, so she's not gonna start small. She knew, like you know, they say to have your kid six months and older before you really put him on an airplane. So once CoA hit the six month mark, I knew this was in our future.
Well, that'll be good mosten time, I'm jealous. I have not been to Hawaii in many years. I've been several times. I've not been in a long time, and since before COVID, actually a couple of years before COVID, so the years of have piled up. But that's my favorite place to visit.
Just to have that weather and maybe layout, and we're both pale right now from a long winter, so and to take CoA in the pool. He's had three swimming classes so far, so we're ready to dunk him in the pool and play in the hotel swimming pool with him and have a good time.
Are you gonna put him in the ocean? Are you gonna tell him on the ocean?
Probably not. Probably he's gonna go off shark food right now. Yeah, it's true.
You got to go back in a couple of years because then you can swim with those giant sea turtles.
Oh yeah.
I swam with him as an adult, and I thought, my god, this is but as a kid, like if you're like, you know, when he gets to be eight, nine, ten something like that, that's uh, that'll be.
I would love to bury him in the sand, though he wiggles around so much. I'll finally put a straight jacket on the kid. You gotta do it.
He'd probably like burying you more, though I think probably it'll be.
Bury my dead. Well that'll be a few years from now, Yeah, that'll be. That'll be coming up.
Oh how dare you? Hopefully not with sand though maybe like dirt, you know, nice wowers? Yeah, caskaway, way.
To go up beside the jukebox.
H let's do a little pop goes the culture?
What do you say? You know?
A little pop goes the culture?
All right?
Do?
Why not? What the hell? Jug jug? Thank you?
Ohio al, I'll just do a few of these, because we do have some good messages in the mail bag. And here's a headline. Report says that young This actually relates to what we've been talking about the last couple of days on this podcast. Report says, young people are drinking less at concerts. You want to take a guess why, Danny, Young people are drinking less at concerts.
Because of the cost of the alcohol.
The ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ning. Yes, young people cannot afford to drink more. And so this is always blows me away. The pricing strategy of places at sporting events, at concerts, how they gouge the people that go to these things. And I remember a couple of years back to the Atlanta Falcons lowered the price
of food, like across the board. They had all these cheap food items at Falcon gives like, wouldn't it make sense to lower the You're still making a good margin, you're still making your profit, but you're selling more of the product whatever you're selling. Wouldn't that make more sense? I mean, I'm not that bright. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you're better off just charging a ridiculous amount. I know
there's that perspective that you're getting something. My wife actually falls through this all the time, and we've gotten into debates about this, Like to me, I can buy stuff at the dollar Store or Walmart and I'm fine, but she thinks it's like less quality and I'm like, it's the same crap. It's just in a different package at Target or one of those other stores.
You know what I'm saying.
It's like people think there's this flaw that people have, like they think they're if they're spending more, they're getting something better.
You know, when you're vacationing, I don't know how to explain it exactly. I guess you feel a sense of euphoria almost like some freedom to where you're not thinking about the real world. So you're just spending whatever you need to spend. But as soon as the vacation is over, then you're like Cinderella back with a pumpkin. Yeah.
Yeah, No, I'm just.
Like, eh, you know, but I'm with you. You know, if a drink is that much at a concert, I'm drinking water. And if they're trying to jack me for eight nine dollars for a water bottle, I'm finding a water fountain.
Yeah, if if they have them, of course, the famous exactly.
I don't think I have those anymore.
Well, Dodger Stadium, remember they opened it. They didn't have water, they didn't have drinking fountains at Dodger State. Yeah, didn't they do that at like Disneyland too. I think they didn't put I.
Think I think you're right, that's been a mistake. The only place that made a bigger mistake was a Giants baseball stadium where they forgot to put a picture's uh the bullpen. Yeah, I remember they had to just make the dirt on the side, the mound on the side.
They just used one picture every game and they just use the mound to warm up.
Oh shit, how far along in that process did they build before they realized, oh shit, we didn't make a bullpen.
Yeah, I remember they they squeezed them on. They were the last. I think they moved them. Now they redid the ballpark, they moved them to the outfield right, But then for they were the only team, the last team that had bullpens down.
The foul lines. Yeah, it was weird.
Nobody nobody else has that. What else in popular's culture. The happiest city in America. What is the happiest city in America? In America? It is in California, but that the Golden.
H Is it like on the border of Orange County in San Diego County, like San Clemente.
No, No, it is actually think up.
North more like Danville or something like that.
No, the number one city according to a studied of a wallet hub.
What the hell is that?
I don't know, but that's where I got just what call us exactly? Fremont, California. Fremont, that's not far from Danville. Yeah, that's the number one city.
Hey, number one?
Number two Overland Park, Kansas, which is right in the Kansas City area. A lot of ballers live there, A lot of athletes that play for the Chiefs and the Royals live there.
What else?
San Jose? Do you know the way to San Jose? Number three? Madison, Wisconsin, number one, four, Irvine, California, number five, and Honolulu, Hawaii number six. You'll be in Honolulu tonight. You'll be hanging out.
Now. Are you surprised that Santa Anna, California didn't make the list?
I did not see that on the on the list, But I am surprised that San Francisco is number seven. Considering when I've been to San Francisco recently, it has not been particularly nice.
Yeah, happy. I think the tourists area is where there's a lot of homeless and crap on the sidewalk and all that, But in the neighborhoods where people live, there's still some nice blocks throughout that city.
Some of the other cities on here that I've been to, Minneapolis was number thirteen. I liked Minneapolis a lot. I like that was a cool city. Minneapolis, Saint Paul pretty cool. Scottsdale, Arizona.
Been there.
That's like the Beverly Hills of Phoenix. Where else have we been? Been to Portland, Maine. I thought that was pretty cool.
I would love to visit that state.
Yeah, it's pretty neat, but you got to go further up in Maine. It's a very large state. Denny, and most of the people that live in port in the state of main live in Portland, Maine. But like the real main people say, you got to go up north, like that's not Maine, that's like just a tourist town. But that was on their Bismarck, North Dakota And never been there. Lincoln Nebraska was on here, Soue Falls, South Dakota.
Never been there, Sue Falls. Yeah, Well, what else do we have? I think I got a lot.
Of a male. Well, I saw this car story in pop Goes to Culture and now this is something that I think would be brilliant and this would destroy all those electric cars. Toyota, the people over at Toyota. I saw this on a science site that I regularly check out. I don't read a lot of stuff on there, but I check it out see if anything catches my attention. This caught my attention. So the electric car market is
not doing very well. People are complaining because of the battery life, the range, issue use, it's inconvenient, and all that stuff. Plus if you live in a cold weather city, which most people do, it's a problem. The battery doesn't function, the car doesn't function as well. So Toyota has a insane idea. I love this idea. I would like to live long enough to see this happen. I will buy
one of these cars. So they say they are building and testing technology where the cars will have built in filters that capture all choked up here carbon dioxide right and from the atmosphere you know, as you as you drive and a. But it's the way I read it, it will actually fuel the car, right, it'll kind of
fuel the I'm not sure how that would work. Maybe I read that wrong, but that if that, if they can find a way, there's no way that'll work, right, No, that seems impossible, right, Although when I was a kid, there were the conspiracy theories that said that you could power car on water, but the oil companies did not allow the technology. They bought the trademark to the technology, so it couldn't get out.
Well, because of the end of Back to the Future and then subsequently Back to the Future too, we thought that cars would run on trash remember, oh yeah, yeah. Doc Brown takes the banana peel and stuff out of the trash can and puts it into the fusion.
Shocking that that did not did not actually work in real life. It hasn't happened yet. All right, let's get to the mail bag.
Here we go.
Mail mail, mail, mail mail, Ohio. I'll do your thing, Ohio.
Al it's all right, thank you for.
That, Jose writes in from the These are actual letters, by the way, by actual listeners who have Most of these have come in from the mail email, which is Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Jose from the nine oh nine and so Cal writs and he says, Ben and Danny, I've heard you guys say that the podcast should only be about a half an hour. What happens to the downloads if it goes longer?
Oh?
Why does it matter? Well, Jose, we Dany, I believe we've mentioned this multiple times on the podcast, but I guess you were not paying attention. Bad job by you, and I don't need it affects the downloads. It's just people don't listen all the way through, So what's the point of doing it? Yeah, I mean, we could do three hour, four hour, five hour Joe Rogan style podcast, but the information we have is that people listen to
about thirty minutes. That's it, and even if it's good, they listen for thirty minutes and they tune out.
Yeah. I know when a podcast is longer than that, I'll hit pause because I'm to my destination thinking, oh, I need to finish this later. But there's so many times where I don't go back to it. And really, all we need for credit is five minutes if you download the podcast listened for five minutes, we're money.
Yeah, give us five good minutes, and we're gonna go. David Seattle right since says, hey, guys, he has been I heard your show this week. Who do you have as the favorite between Jed who fled and Dad gummet in the battle, Well we're calling it yeah to Danny. The other night we had Jed who fled, who called up? Who mentioned Dad Gummett. I put them both on the year I crossed the line.
This was all over my Twitter, by the way.
Yeah, they started going at it. Dad Gummett was very angry and he started ripping Jed who fled, and then Jed pushed back. And so we're setting up this week and you'll be in Hawaii, so you will not know about this, but you'll be in Paradise. But we will have on Tuesday and a Wednesday. We're calling it the Southern Slam, the good old boys going at it Jed who fled and Dad gummt the biggest brawl below the
Mason Dixon line. And these guys have a beef. So we're gonna bring out the challenge line and it's gonna be exciting. We also have the voting for the Bennies tonight. But answer your question, Dave, I would put Jed who Fled as a favorite. However, in terms of actually understanding what's being said, Dad Gummet, I understand more of the words from Dad Gummant than Jed who Fled.
He's a voter mouth.
The other problem here, and you got to factor this into the handicapping, Dave, and if you're going to listen to this Southern slam, is that Dad Gummett has a propensity of saying bad words. And that is that is a point deducted. And if he says more than one bad word, if we have to dump him twice, then he's eliminated. So he could disqualify himself. This there could be a DQ of Dad Gummett. I think that's if I'm betting on this, I would bet on disqualification. Uh,
because that Jedu Fled also sneaks in bad words. But he says, I'm so fast, we don't understand what he's saying.
Blank my blank, and blank you.
I would put Jed wu fled as a favorite. I think he's got a bigger following than Dad Gummet and he's got. That's the key to the voting. But we'll see what happens. I'm looking forward to and we'll see if they show up. Jed got the nickname Jed who fled because he bailed out on a former Octagon back in the day. Mickey de writes in from Central Texas, says, guys, is Lorena going to play different music?
Well?
I would assume so, Danny, right, I would assume she's got her own musical taste.
Let me tell you that Lorena's musical taste is more in line with mine than Iowa Sam. Okay, Yeah, you'll get some nice variety from her.
Yeah, everyone's got their own style, Danny. When he worked on the show, you had your own style. Roberto had his thing back in the day, Jake Warner had his style.
Well, let me tell you though, Iowa Sam's musical taste sucks. I mean, he's got this weird eclectic taste, the weird electro song, a strange rock song I've never heard before. I like to think we're playing for the masses. We're talking to the mass is so I'd like it a little more mainstream.
Like the word you're looking for is broad. Yeah, not narrow casting exactly, all right.
I mean, Iowa Sam's a great guy, but I would hate to see his music collection at home trash.
Now will you be guiding him musically?
All right?
It would be like a playlist.
I mean, not a playlist, but it'll be like two for Coveno and Rich one for you, three for Covino and Rich one for me, one for you. I'm not going to let our show be inundated with eclectic music. Yeah.
Yeah, for those that don't know, we're making a trade here. Me and Danny g we worked out of trade and I treated Iowa Sam.
I hope I got some first round picks.
We tossed it in the air friar. We're gonna go. You keep the air fryer, so Iowa Sam in an air fryer and you get that. And then we get Loraina and she's a she's a prospect, you know, she had high upside.
Yeah, and uh, she's dude sidelined the sideline Marvel, very high IQ, very coach, yeah, very very very very high football IQ. She's a field general.
That is uh, that is wonderful. All right, Bill writes in I don't know where Bill's from. He didn't say. He didn't say where he was writing in from, but Bill writes in he says, I know you enjoy when people tell you how to do your show. So here's a couple suggestions. Thank you for that, Bill From Parts on Known, he says, each week, do a segment in which you go back and replay a call from one of the classic callers like Genie and Medford.
Come on in man.
Uh and and regale the audience with that. A lot of the new listeners have not heard of people like her and real talk, back up, back up, credit card Gordon and that guy from Toronto who was really good, but then he got married and disappeared. Yeah, he married the young girl and he that was it.
Yeah, I remember that. That's a good suggestion, except find these archives. I think that I probably could run a Ben Mallor museum because I hold the most drops and old school footage. I have more of this than anybody else alive. What I have I've used on this podcast right here. What he's talking about would be awesome, but we don't have that. At the touch of our fingers.
Yeah, I'm not sure how far back the podcast goes. I mean, I've got a big library of stuff here. I've been here a long time, and so there's a lot of things that have just kind of vanished. It's a disposable form of entertainment, Danny, much to our disappointment. Yeah, we wish it was not a disposable format.
Dude. If we got paid off of reruns, oh god, yeah, man, I'd be spending two weeks in Kawaii.
So jealous of the musician that can make a number one song, a bunch of number one songs when they're like twenty or twenty one years old or even younger, and then for the rest of their lives paid for those go to gigs and sing those songs.
And you imagine listeners they'd be like, Hey, I want to hear the second week of February twenty fifteen when Danny G was on your show, and we could just say, oh, we're taking the week off. Here's the second week of February twenty fifteen.
Yeah, let's go back. I think can you do one of those old Shack monologues from like two thousand and one. Can you give me a Shack monologue? I need that right? Can you tell me about your thoughts? I want to recreate that Celtic's burgeoning dynasty when they won with Paul Pierce and Garnett and those guys. That's what I want. Bill also says, I agree with the last week's mail bag about you screaming out number one once a night.
He says, I listen with my phone in bed next to my wife, and I have to shuffle quickly to turn it down. He says, but what about what happened to headphones?
Bill?
Is that too much to ask headphones?
No? No, they need to be quicker on the on your live radio show. When you do that on the podcast, I turn your volume down and then I turn you back up. Dare you? He says?
Did you know that when they told Jason Smith to stop stop saying my best friend Mike Harmon in a high, loud, obnoxious voice, that his ratings went up? Bill, I believe you're making that up. I believe you are making that up because I've heard Jason in the hallways and he still says he screams out my best friend ever. You know whatever he says there, Mike Mike Harmon anyway, But.
You're best friend Eddie Garcia.
Bill, you gave me advice my advice is buy some headphones. They have really good headphones. They have noise canceling headphones, they have comfortable headphones. I wear headphones for hours every night, every day. I have headphones on right now doing this podcast. I have headphones on right now. I am such a radio loser, Kwang writes in qu A G says from Vietnam? Do we think Quang is actually in Vietnam? Possibly?
Right? Who knows? Maybe made up the world?
I says, dear Ben big Man and Danny Daddy G Radio Daddy. I'm right, I'm right handed, and I washed my left forearm first. My right hand was getting a workout. He says, what body part do you guys wash first? That is the the question. So I was. I was taught by Mama Malor as a little child when I learned how to shower, that you always wash your hair first. That's the I always start with the hair. That's so that's my move, Danny. I washed the hair first, and then after that I go to the the body as
you do an arm. I guess I'm trying to think I'm right handed, so I guess I do do my left I think I I think I do exactly what what he does. I'm right handed and I washed my left form. That's weird, now that you bring that up. I never thought about it, but that is usually the first thing that I watched.
That wild. That's weird. I take the body soap and I put it on my chest first. That's your move, okay, yeah, chest, and I let the soap drip down and then I do my inner thighs.
You get away from me.
Yeah.
So the story he set me from the Times of India, which you know, I don't know about you, but I do not read the Times of India enough.
I do not.
And they said, did you know that you subconsciously prioritize your body parts when you go to the shower. The body part that you wash first in the whole process of bathing tells the amount of importance you place on that specific body part. And that's that's what they claim. So they went through the whole thing here, face, armpits, shoulder, neck, chest, and then they've got what it means. So you say you wash your chest.
First, right then? Yeah?
Yeah, it says if you wash your chest first, you are very comfortable in your own skin. You have an alpha personality type, which means you are an independent and are very clear with your approach to life. Boom, that does sound like you. I get to tell you you're an alpha male. That does sound like you completely. Let's see here the the I don't know face. I'm looking for hair. Here for hair page. Now, oh, privates, you got privates there, arms, legs is on their back hands.
Everybody knows hair.
Hair go second, all right, hair is Here's what I am. It says if you begin the bathing ritual by washing your hair first, you are someone who has a bit of OCD and likes order in your life. That is true. That is absolutely true. You are an opinionated person and have a say on everything. One of your biggest strengths is time management. Well that's you know what that's actually got wrong. Wow, that's pretty wild.
Where did you find this?
This is from the Times of India. I'll say you a copy of this. That is pretty nuts, dude.
I want to see this because it's spot on so far.
Man, All right, what about privates? It says, Well, it may sound sexual if you wash your privates first. In reality, you are probably a very reserved and shy person. You might might also be a pushover who has a hard time taking his or her her own stand. You are genuinely caring, but it takes a long time to scratch beneath your guarded surface, you pussy. I did not expect And when I opened this link from our friend from from he says from Vietnam there, I did not expect to.
Find this, Danny.
Uh, this is wow, that's pretty good. I think this described both of us. Right. You're here an alpha male, you're the you know, with your deal and I'm like, you know, I'm looking at this, I'm like, yeah, you know.
That makes sense. Yeah, and you are very p sie with your pre show rituals and your time management. Yeah, completely described you.
Yeah, I totally. And the OCD thing is about right because but but also because my mom, you know, my mom taught me that you have to do things a certain way and and so I just I've never really gone away from that. It's like when I when I make cookies or something, I follow the recipe exactly because I want to make sure they come out perfectly. So I wish I wasn't quite as much like that, because I think it would be more enjoyable, more enjoyable to maybe not be like that. We'll do We'll get almost
out of time here. Let's see here page down Alf from the draft folder in my mail app email app. He says, Ben, as many people know, you're quite the outdoorsman, a regular grizzly Adams. Have either you or dany Gy either of you two gents ever hiked in Malibu Creek State Park, Alf writes, and he says, I I just fell down a rabbit hole and learned that's where mash and Planet of the Apes was filmed. He said, no, I have not. I've been to Malibu only a handful
of times in my life. It's pretty far away from everywhere I've lived. Number one. It's also very bougie number two, which means number three, it's expensive, which is not for me. But it's beautiful. Malibu's beautiful. There's really nice homes and private beaches where celebrities stay away from the great unwashed. And there a lot of traffic in Malibu. But I've never been. I've heard of that park, but I've never been to that park.
Pasted it probably should go check it out. We live off of a road called Canaan and that is the same canyon road that takes you to Malibu, so we are literally fifteen minutes away from Malibu.
Malabu boo, Malabu boo. Yeah, thank you, Al. I have gone on a few heikes, but not now of that one Jay from Dallas. Right, since its Ben, you broke any listeners hearts by letting Poppy back on the air. Please defend yourself. I don't have to defend myself, Jay, all right, I gave him a shot, the guy. You don't understand that Poppy off? Letty Poppy off?
All right?
You do not understand that Poppy has called pretty much every night since the band and we haven't put him on the air.
Is he nominated for Worst Caller of the Year.
We'll find out tonight when the Benny nominations are announced. But he called up and he's on probation Jay, and knowing Poppy, he'll f up. He told some wild story the other day about getting into a fight with the Federal Allies in Tijuana, which is total bullcrap, total bull crap.
I do like his stories.
Yeah, all right, we'll get out on that, Danny save trip to Hawaii. I hope you have a great time, taking lots of photos. Have a wonderful time. I will be back on the radio and whatever audio device you listen to, I'll be back tonight, same time, same BAT station, with the recipe Ben Malors Show, and so we'll have that. And no, I know I was away on Friday, but no scheduled days off. So if I'm not there one night, something terrible has happened. But I am scheduled to be there every night of.
The week, so there is that. Thank goodness. Yeah, we will.
We'll catch you next week. Who will sit in for Danny G next week? Who is going to be in the Danny G chair next week?
Dun, dun, dun.
I don't even know who knows. We'll find out. You'll tune in and find it'll be a surprise.
You act like everything gets done at our network at the last minute.
I'm just saying I'm in the I'm in the dark. I don't know what's going on. We have any wonderful rest of your weekend here and I'll be back tonight.
We'll talk to you then, have a beautiful week. Normally I would say asta pasta, but let me say aloha. I like got a murder. I gotta go