The Fifth Hour: Karaoke and Trivia Mics

finding the podcast. The download numbers continue to be good, so we keep doing the podcast. And you know, Danny, the moment those numbers go down, we're out right. We're done. That's it, We're out of here. We don't have to do this anymore. But as long as people are there, if the audience is there, we will continue to do this. Danny j Yes, there's no reason why either of us would want to sleep in on an early morning. Now, there's no reason why we would not want to do

extra content. Both of us now working on shows during the week. Danny's got the daytime slash nighttime. I've got the overnight. So this doesn't have the number one station anymore, is it. Yeah, my right hand was getting a workout. How dare you on this edition the Saturday podcast? We have on the menu at Benny's Bodega Social Butterfly? Did we do this? And pink I and even backscratcher? We'll do backscratcher as well. Think guy, I don't know what that is. See, this is why I wake up early. Yeah,

this is the kind of content that you need. This is the content you didn't know you need it, but you really do need. Right. It's always the drama. Right. I hope Bella farted on your pillow. It's the only thing Bella hasn't done. Yeah, you want poop and pee anywhere, Bella will give you that. You give her ten minutes and she will produce some kind of excrement. All right. So last weekend, the wife was working a little over

time Danny, so I had some downtime. I had some me time, and I ended up making the most of it. I made some dinner plans with my gambling buddy. People very fascinated about my life. So I made some dinner plans with my gambling but he had to cancel at the last minute. So then I pivoted and I start sending h I sent some flyers out to some different people. It's like, I gotta find somebody to hang out with.

So I pivoted in the original Prince of Darkness, Lee Kleine, your former mortal enemy, and a somebody who's been on this podcast. We've had Lee on a few times on the podcast and he's like, yeah, i'll meet you whatever, fun, I'll meet you whatever. So he's been a friend of mine. I've known him for many many years. He's known me since I was a teenager and he was a radio guy caf I did Clipper Talk, has anyone if I wanted to talk about the clips, did some radio in Philadelphia.

So we go way back. And I had not really seemly much since COVID. He has he has not left his house much and he's he's got the heebie jeeps by all that, and so we met for some soul food. We met at Katella Delhi in the in the l A, Orange County border area. We we were hanging out there, a fine establishment watching We sat at the bar area Danny watching playoff baseball and college football, showing down on pastrami sandwiches with matzo ball soup and fries. And it

was yummy, yummy, yummy to my tummy. It's a good time. And on my way though, here's the part of the story where the there's the plot twist, the dramatic plot twist. So on my way to meet my friend Lee, I at some time in the car and so I called another one of my buddies in Texas, guy that I grew up it went to elementary school with, and he lives in Dallas, and so I said, hey, uh, what's going on? I called him up, Hey are you doing whatever? He says, You're never gonna guess where I am. So

I'm like, let me think you're where you at. I don't know. There's a Texas Oklahoma football game? Did you go to that? Uh? No? No I No I did not. Uh Like, where do you you take a day trip to San Antonio or Austin or something like that? No, no, I didn't do that. And it turns out he was. He was in southern California, like he had flown out. I didn't know he was coming out here, but he flew out, and so he actually got he missed his

original flight because of the Oklahoma Texas game. The traffic and the train schedule got all messed up in Dallas, and so he actually missed his his original flight. But so after after my my dinner with Lee, I headed over to a karaoke bar. Oh yeah, I was at a karaoke bar. That is not a place I picture you walk no, no, and I I want usually nothing to do with karake. I alway used to go to Dimples in Burbank when I worked in Burbank, which was a famous kara which closed. Mr Belding, Yeah, you were

just there to hang out with the principle. Yeah, well he was a listener actually, and he follows me into it. But he got off Twitter years ago, and I think he I think he moved to Tennessee. The the actor that played Mr beld and he moved anyway, it's not the way. So so my friends like, hey, he loves doing karaoke. He's like an Elvis impersonator. He's got like a nine to five job, but he likes doing Elvis stuff and singing songs at karaoke. So I'm like, whatever,

I'll meet you whatever. That's the only time I could see him because I've worked during the week, and so he loves to perform as a social butterfly. I was the guy holding the camera there. I was the guy holding the camera. And here's some observations I made. I don't really want to go back to a karaoke bar. That's the first observation. Number two. A lot of middle aged people. And I'm fine, I guess I'm middle aged too.

But a lot of people who think they are rock and roll stars Danny and are convinced that whatever they ended up doing in life, they missed their calling. And these people were really getting into it, like they were not just doing karaoke. Half asked, like you could tell these people had practiced, that they had they these songs meant a lot to them and they were all about it, and I'm like, well, good for them, But it's not

really my jam here, it's not really my scene. You know, what would your go to song be if you had to go up there and sing? Well, I I did perform in junior high school with this guy, the guy that I met at the karaoke bar, and we did Rubber Biscuit. So I guess I'd have to go back to some blues brothers. You got two slices of bread and you wish you had some meat bow. Wow, Wow you do that? Wow you missed your calling to Yeah, clearly, What about you, Danny? What would your karaoke song be?

You know I always had this thrown at me because of my voice. I had to do tone low, funky cold medina. You do have the deep pipes. You do. Definitely have that going for you. Creep you out. I think it would creep me out if I was in there with all the adults being rock stars. Yeah. You know the thing about that I was I didn't really know what to expect. This is the place I've never been. I had to put it in my map thing on

the phone to try to find it. And I got there and it was late at night because I'd already eaten the games were over. I go in there, like the first thing the waitress says to me when I walk in there's a to drink minimum. And I said, I said, wait a minute, I'm not even doing the karaoke.

I'm just here to meet a friend. I'm not. No, she said too, if you're gonna be here doing the at the karaoke bar to drink minimum like, what the bleep bleep is there so many fans show up just to watch the amazing singing that they have to make sure you buy a couple of drinks. Yeah. Yeah, So it's the other thing. I was holding the camera for the my buddy who was doing karaoke and he was doing on Facebook Live, and they were like two people washing doing one person. I was like, what are we

doing here? And I was like, when you should go out to the street corner and there'll be more people driving by in cars that will see you. It's all all good. Maybe they'll watch it later. Didn't we do this, dady? What what is this? Did we do this? Oh? Man? Well? You know, after post production of Coveno and Rich on Monday night, I had a dilemma because the Raiders and The Chiefs were already playing, and at this point it

was seventeen to nothing Raiders. I pretty much knew after that missed roughing the passer call that all the calls were then going to go to the Chiefs. I knew it was gonna be bad after that. I still had a decision to make, though, I'm like, if I get in my car and sit in traffic and drive home, I'm gonna be trying to listen to their network on their app, which always craps out. So I might as well just walk across the street to the galleria in

beautiful Sherman Oaks, California. What could go wrong crossing a very busy street there German Oaks where people don't know how to stop. Yeah, exactly, and there's five homeless people to walk over as you go to the galleria. Nice smell and as well, it really is good. Yeah, yeah, at least you could jump into the fountain. I'll wash off. I got across the street safe enough, but I had Wings on my mind. I'm like, man, well I'll go get uh six wings, maybe a side salad since I've

been eating healthy the past couple of months. Buffalo Wild Wings is right there. I'm thinking to myself, I'm sure it's crowded in there, but I'll find a chair. So I go in walk straight to the bar area. It didn't matter at all because there were so many Raider fans in there. Ben even I was uncomfortable scary looking dudes. And no, it wasn't that they were scary, it was just that they already had taken over the place, kind of like how you felt going late to the karaoke party.

I felt like I was very late to this raider tailgate. There were two Chiefs jerseys sprinkled in this abyss of silver and black. I find a chair to sit down. I find a screen right right in my view that I can watch, and UM clean the chair off. You know how they do there when they're busy. They don't even bother cleaning off a chair or table when one opens up because they're so they're just so slammed, right,

So I cleaned it up myself. I sit down many times when you and I hosted Monday night football at places like Buffalo Wild Wings. Think back to the beginning of your career, Ben, how many Monday night did you spend on a microphone at an establishment like that hosting hosting Monday night football. Did we do this? Yeah, yeah, we've lived that life. We have done that. Yeah, we've got trivia. We've got trivia. I want to win a

free uh set of chicken wings. And I almost felt guilty because as I sat there, I was very frustrated with this guy who kept talking on the microphone and interrupting what I was trying to concentrate on every couple of seconds. He was making a comment on the microphone any time the game went to any sort of little break, even if it was just a time out. I'm trying to listen to what's going on on the call for Monday Night Football, and this guy is blabbing about ticket

numbers and trivia and blah blah blah blah blah. Shut up. I want to watch the game, like, Hey, silence is golden. Yeah. When Kelsey scored his second to last touchdown, there was some obvious holding Max Crosby. The chief player had him by both shoulder pads and kept him from running after Mahomes, which would have been a sack. The only thing that was nice is this guy on his microphone pointed out

they were holding Max Crosby right there. Okay, well, at least he saw that, like most of the country did. But still, that was the point where I got up and walked out. Didn't have a menu. Had this guy bullshitting on his microphone constantly. I guess it's kind of like when you're at a Super Bowl party and it's getting on your nerves because the food might be good, but people won't stop talking. Yeah, The worst place to watch the super Bowl is at a super Bowl party.

It is the by far the worst. And I did local radio. We used to have super Bowl parties and they they had this thing one year they had this all you can eat thing at the super Bowl party. They ran out of food. They did not provide the food. You know how many people were upset? Danny, Oh my god, he said, you said all you can eat, there's no They ran out of food by the third quarter. There was no food left. Did you end up ordering anything or do you do what happened? I never got a menu.

I never had service during all of that nonsense. So I walked over to the cheesecake factory. Their TVs are so small at their bar. I couldn't even see the TVs when I walked in. And I walked over to the bar and there they are, like little small TVs we had in our bedroom back in the nineties. Um, but I'm like, I could pull up a bar chair right in front of one of these little screens. That's what I did. I ordered Asian lettuce wraps to try

to somewhat keep it healthy, and it was nice. But now this bartender was trying to talk Raiders and Chargers the whole time because he was a Chargers fan. So I don't know what was worse, guy bullshitting on the microphone the whole time with no service at Buffalo Wild Wings or sitting in the company of a Chargers fan. Yeah, well, at least you got out of Buffalo Wild Wings before.

I mean, you would get it. Sounds like you got a headache and that one man, and I got a headache watching me how that game unfolded on that fourth down call. You know, had Josh McDaniels not been a brainiac and gun for two there, he would have had the luxury to run Josh Jacobs on that fourth and two.

I'm glad. I'm glad you brought that up because I got into a debate with Roberto who's a fellow Raider fan like yourself, and he he thought it was great to go for two, and I'm like, no, that in that situation is four and a half minutes to go in the game, the Chiefs are having kicking issues, what are you doing? No faith in your defense at all? And the Raiders still ended up getting a stop and they got the ball back obviously after that, But you gotta just kick the extra point. It's all but a

sure thing. And then you know, you know you have an opportunity, and that was like two seconds to go in the game, and you want to go for the win. I'm okay with that, but I'll tell you exactly what I said. I looked down for a second because I'm like dipping one of these lettuce things and it's in its Asian sauce. I look back up and I see the Raiders coming onto the field for a formation for two points, and I said, what the funk are you

doing that for? Exactly what I blurted out at this bar, and and I still will will I'll live and die by that, because you don't outsmart yourself when the points are there to take and it's gonna tie the game. That puts the pressure back on them. And McDaniels explanation was, I felt like that would put pressure on my homes and them. No, you, dick, that puts pressure on you on your final drive because now you have to get

a first out, you have to get points. So with that much time on the clock, that is the stupidest decision you could ever make. Nobody could ever sway. My opinion, of that. No, I agree with you. I was watching the game and I have no skin in the game at all, but I was like, I can't believe he did that. Why would he do that. I'm like, he's got to be a puppet. He' says Josh McDaniels is a sock puppet to the analytics because there's some algorithm that says you have to go for it in that situation.

Well wait, wait till the Raiders and Charges play again. Yeah. I feel like analytics are the new excuse for when you make a dumbass decision. Well, it is a wonderful alibi. You can pretty much do anything you want now in the NFL, and if somebody calls you on it, you say, listen, that's what the analytics said. And who's the question that nobody understands the analytics other than the nerds question that,

come on, I don't I don't get it. Anyway, we'll move on from that, the the tail that you never know who's listening. So this week I got a random text from a former producer of mine out of the blue, and the reason I got that texts because his name came up in conversation on the radio ship. So the other night we were talking about Monsey was in who she was doing Eddie. Eddie took the night off to go to a hockey game. So Mancy was in there, and she had just come from a volleyball game. So

she was like apologizing. She's like, I'm all sweaty, I came from a volleyball game and like whatever. So then I said, well, by the way, at least you showed up for work. I had a producer who was late

to work one time because he was playing kickball. Yeah, Greg Bergman Cooper loops to let me guess, and he named Greg Bourbon on the air and I said, yep, that's the guy Burton and and so he I have not I not talked to them for years, and and we we share a bond myself and Greg Bergman for life because we were both on the air the night we found out we were about to get excommunicated from Fox Sports Radio back in January of oh nine mass layoff and we were part of that. We were on

the air and about I forget. It was like ten to ten to thirty minutes into the show. I got an email from management who said there's a mandatory meeting the next afternoon. Management never sends those emails out past like five thirty, so the only way they would send that out is if you're getting removed and you have to be there. And so I remember Bergie was freaking

out and I was trying to calm them down. I'm like, I was like, listen, you're not really in radio until you've been let go at least a couple of times. So this is like a badge of her here. It's like you gotta as a boxer, you gotta get punched in the face a few times. You gotta get a couple of bruises right here, as you're not really part of it anyway. So Bergman called me up. And he's

done very well for himself. He's an assistant program director at Big Sports station in l A, not the one we work with, and he works with Mason in Ireland and all that. And he checked in. He was at the Dodgery game. You want to know if I was there. I was not at that particular game. And so we caught up. And he also got the nickname Pink I

because he missed work. He had pink yeah, and I that yeah, and and and there's so many Bergman stories because he was the guy when I went outside and I had to call into the local station, the Lake Great Joan McDonald. I did cross talk with him, and there was this vagrant outside in Sherman Oaks who kept, hey, are you on the radio? I want to go on the radio? Are you on the radio? We were gonna and put me on the radio. I'm Henry Hill. Put me on the radio. I'm Henry Hell, you know. And

that was the great Henry Hill story. And and I said, no, I'm not on the radio. And then I walked in and he starts banging on the door. I'm Henry fucking Hill. Let me on the radio. I get he's slurring his words because he's drunk, and and so I was like, Hey, that guy says he's Henry Hill from Good Fellows. And I told I said, Bergman, go take care of that. Bergman is like, he's you know, he's a beam poll, he's a he's a number two pencil and uh, I

told her. I said, we'll take care of that. And then then we famously looked up the photo of what Henry Hill looks like because he had made some appearances on the Howard Stern Show, and that was Henry Hill. That's just nuts to me that it's just nuts that a mob guy was like right outside the door and I walked right by him, and I it was he was so drunk at that point. I don't know, you know, he's dead now. But I got a soft spot for Burgie because I used to work with him at NBC

Sports Radio. Oh did you okay? So you worked with him after he left Fox Sports Radio? Yeah, and then I worked with him again when he went back to Fox Sports Radio. But it was so funny because they had internet issues at NBC Sports Radio and Bergman used to have classic meltdowns, this fucking place. I can't do my job like this? How much bookcast when there's no internet, and he would smash things and throw things. I saw

him unhinged, and he's not really like that. He obviously was really frustrated with that fledgling network back back in the day. Um and I used to keep my composure and he used to tell me. He used to say, Danny, you're too good for this place. You're too good for this place. You're you're such a good worker. I don't even know what you're doing here. So when there was an opening at Fox Sports Radio for your show, when your tech producer, big brother Jake, was leaving. Bergman was

the one who called me and said, do it. I got the perfect job for you to get away from that fucking place. They went out of business, They went away, they sure did. And he was the one who gave me the heads up to get my stuff in, to turn my resume and tape and stuff into the guys there that were your bosses at the time. So shouts out to him. Man, he's the reason why I'm at Fox Sports Radio. No, I was great. We're catching up his his daughter's eleven. Now is this little kid? You know?

She used to hang out sometimes at Fox Sports Radio there with her dolls. Yes, with her two player with the little dolls and eleven years old? Crazy? How fast that goes? All right, we have a little time left for Backscratcher, and so we'll do that right now. These are actual reviews from actual listeners of this podcast. Now, this is kind of ridiculous, and I'm embarrassed to say this, but management monitors the reviews and the ratings on the Apple podcast page. You can get this podcast all over

the place. You can listen on any platform you want. I heart Apple podcasts, Spotify, any of them, Stitcher, whatever these these things are. Anyway, management is most worried about the Apple podcast page. So we ask you to help us out to us a solid. It doesn't cost you any money. It does cost your time. It shouldn't take long, but it's the Apple podcast page. And so you scratch our back, we scratch yours. And it's our weekly tip of the on air light to the loyal minions of

the Malley militia. So this week, Danny, how many reviews do you think we have that we didn't have last week at this time. Two? I'm gonna say that is correct. We have two. We have money. Manzie who wrote in said five stars. If it's big Ben Maller, it has to be five stars. Dandy g the man too, he says, go Raiders. Yeah, I like this guy. There's a Raider fan right there. And the Phee the Sunburn wrote in five stars, this great show. I used to be on

the third shift. Listen to Ben Rant and Rave live now being on the dreaded day shift, I thought I lost the Mallard show. Well, Fear No More podcast and as a bonus, I get to listen to Benn and Danny g talk sports and the life they live on the fifth hour. Thanks guys, great show. That's from the Phoenix sun Bird. Well, thank you Phoenix Sunburn. We appreciate that. And I know we've got a big mail bag tomorrow.

But Danny in the description right, people can look at the description on the podcast and they can figure out how to write a review. And I promise you if you do write a review, we will read it good, bad or ugly on the air right here on the next edition of the podcast next week. It's not too hard. Just go into the description of this very podcast and you'll see a link that we put in there to subscribe, review and rate the podcast. Click on that page down

a little bit. You'll see the big overall score, and then right by that it says right to review, and you just click on that has you make a user name, write your review, and you can give the five stars if you think Ben is worthy. Yeah, well you can give Danny like two stars of me like the other three, so that's five, right, give Danny four and give me one,

but that's also five as long as it totals five. Yeah, you can give me zero stars and Danny five stars, but that gets to five stars, and so I'm okay with that. You pay me five dollars, I'll endorse a game magazine. Screw you, That's what I have to say. Anyway, we get the mail back coming up, so it's almost it's time now Danny say that. Yes, they're goodbyes. There anything to promote. You're nothing going on your Saturday? You get stuff? You're kidding me. I'm still doing a long

shift at the network on Saturdays. Oh that's right. I forget even longer today, Ben, because I heard from our big boss and he said, my man, I need your help. Uh, they're shorter of producer today. So they had me working from noon until nine pm. Oh man, they're paying you extra overtime for that. Yeah, I'm sure the text man won't take any of that o t no, unless he's gonna take all of it here in California. And I'm gonna have to bring two bologna sandwiches with me to

the network today. Yeah, man, what happened to the producers? I don't know. Maybe COVID, I don't know. That's what they blame everything on. He probably has COVID to need to take time off COVID. Alright, I have a wonderful rest of your Saturday. We got two mail bag on Saday. Thanks for supporting the podcast. We appreciate. Keep it going there Asta pasta gott a murder, Gotta go.