The Fifth Hour: Just Called Me Ray Carruth?

It's not trigonometry. So we are here for the Saturday podcast Danny Evie Amazing Mystery Tour, the Amazing Mystery Tour here which is going to blow everyone away. This's a bottom my rady to bring the gap. So on this edition of the podcast, we have a pot pourri of issues. We've got raising Arizona, deep fake and nin on one standing by possibly not in that order, plus Backscratcher and whatever else happens whenever else comes up on the conversation. Let's get right into it on this edition of the

Fifth Hour, and we start this past Friday. This is a this is a podcast exclusive. What I'm about to tell Danny. Nobody else has this content, all right, and everyone wishes they had the content, but they don't. We're the only audio program that has this. I feel like we said this on our podcast last weekend too. Yeah yeah, yeah, But I did something I've never done before or and I saved it for the podcast. Nobody knows this outside of my family. You pay me five dollars, I'll endorse

a game magazine. But this past Friday was a crazy zany day. So I decided I needed to do a good mitzvah and I needed to go on a pilgrimage, a good wheel journey. So after I got off the radio from the overnight show Thursday into Friday, I winded down for a few hours. I laid down, I played on my phone, played some games on my phone. I took a bath. I didn't sleep more than an hour. I then, around eight in the morning, loaded up the

mallarmobile with the wife. We ran a couple of arrands, said make a pit stop here at Costco to get gas, and then we set off to the Great Blue Yonder driving in the California desert in the middle of nowhere. We headed headed east go east, young man. We stopped in Palm Springs for a a drink, non alcoholic and a sandwich. Actually the sandwich was in Indio, and we we kept have you been, Have you've been? There's a supposedly a legendary sandwich shop in Indio. Oh, I know Indio.

I have a radio friend there. And one thing I like about that area. They have some A and W root bear stands left over. Yeah. No, this was like a sandwich shop. They said they were the top rated sandwich shop on Yelp a couple of years ago. So my wife said, oh, we gotta stop there. I'm like, well, I don't really want, you know whatever. But we went and then we got back on the road and made the boringest drive you could possibly make. I haven't done this in years. I used to do this semi regular

when I covered spring training. But I went to Arizona. I went to Phoenix, the Phoenix there. I was in Mesa, Arizona, the spring training home of the Chicago Cubs, and I drove all the way there and all the way back. I'll tell you why. The mission I mentioned good match for us. So a cousin of mine who I grew up with I've known since since he was born. I was a little kid. We grew up together and we

were little kids, and then he moved away. A huge sports fan, he got he got some some bad medical news this week, and so you don't want to see him, kind of cheer him up. He had his his lady friend there and take take them out to a nice meal. So on. On my very short weekend, it took all day to get to our destination because of the medication he's on and whatnot, and he had a medical procedure. He told me he wasn't going to be really awake until late afternoon. So that's why I left when I did.

Otherwise I would have left in the middle of the night and would have made great time. But we got We got the Phoenix right in rush hour on Friday, and so we had to deal with that, which is not like It's Phoenix Nightmare, which is not anywhere close to l A traffic, but still it was traffic and and all that. So I got to the destination, arrived in time just to watch the Knicks. They were playing the Bucks, and we also had Game one of the

World Serious. That's why I watched Game one of the World series that his his condo there in Arizona, Phillies and and assholes. We can say that because this podcast of the Assholes. And the thing I did not expect Danny on this pilgrimage was when I got to my cousin's apartment and you know, he's sitting there, is not really moving around much, kind of dealing with that medical malaise.

And he's living in this relatively reasonably sized townhouse condo thing, and he's got not one, not too but three dogs. These are not normal sized dogs. These not little dogs. These are these are large dogs. Danny with the big barks, big barks, big ship, the whole thing. Massive dogs, very loving dogs, dogs that I don't think realize how big they are. They think they're little dogs and they're big dogs. And these dogs were also doing something that I don't

really have to deal with much with Bella. They were shedding. Bella sheds a little bit. These dogs, it was like they were at the barber shop. Yeah. Yeah, Bell is an expert. If you need a dog to ship or piss, and then what Bell is really good at is pissing and then walking through it so you can track everywhere she walks on the floor here. Everywhere she walks. Her little paw prints are you can tell exactly as she braves the elements of her piss and and walks her

But these dogs very nice, very kind. But it was I was not expecting it. So I was a little overwhelmed by the dogs and so many dogs. They actually had gates around the sofa to keep the dogs away. Yeah, I mean, is this a wild I was I gonna as at a zoo, and it was. It kind of felt like the human beings were the ones in the cage and the dogs had the run of the place, is what it felt like. And by the time we ended up leaving to go get a bite to eat, I was covered, My wife was covered in from head

to toe. And dog here and it made made for some interesting we We We had those you know those rollers you used. I was just gonna ask about that. Yeah, so he had he had the rollers and we were I was trying to roll the hair off my wife's dress. I had hair everywhere, and they have these little sticky things on the roller you're supposed to see. We went through like nine ten of them. Yeah, it's crazy, and they don't work. Well, they worked to a certain extent, right,

they're not that good. You're right, like they'll get the surface off, but you still have the fine here left on your clothes. And it's super annoying and uncomfortable to have that much animal for on you. Yeah, it was bad. And I hadn't been in that kind of situation in a long time where dogs, just three dogs are all shedding and they're like jumping between me and the wife, going back and forth, and and my cousin. It was crazy, he's gonna clean that place? Well, I unfortunately believe my

my cousin's girlfriend. And when she got off work, we went to the sports bar, which is great. It's it's probably my only cousin that really likes sports, like the only guy, and you know, he he gets the language of sports. So we were like, let's go to a sports bar. We'll eat some chicken wings and we'll watch the game and be married. And so you know, he's

still recovering, so kind of moving a little slow. We walked, We walked to the car, go to out the sports bar and uh, and that's where I watched the rest of the assholes and as they played the Phillies and that great comeback in Game one of the World Series. Yeah, and so he had to go to bed or early though, even though I drove all the way to Phoenix's you know, major operations on a lot of medications. So he had

to go to bed early. And so around nine, nine o'clock or so, uh, we we said, all right, go to bed, get your rest. And then we decided, you know what, I think what we need to do is catch up with I mean, Arizona and I have other family I did not see. I haven't been to Phoenix in like seventeen years. Actually it's been less than that. I was there for a Clipper playoff game with Elton Brand when they played the Suns and the Sunset Mike

D'Antoni still coaching them and all that. So that's how long ago I know, right, and Mari Stodhomyer was playing there in all of Goods. So anyway, so it's been a lot of time. So I sent a text over to a Fox Sports radio alumnus to see if they were available for a nice brief meet and Creek, and I got a response. Yeah. Well, early on I got a response no, And then later on I got a response yes, the rate. You want to take a guess who I who? I ran down here? The great No.

Tony lives in Florida. Man, he's he's in the Sunshine State. I knew he was in a hot state. Yeah, yeah, he's in Florida. Uh. Turk Stevens. I don't know if you remember. I remember Turkey did updates. Yeah, Turk was an update guy. He worked on my show for a long time. He also worked at NBC Sports Radio, which that's where I worked with him. And he also was a PE coach. Yes, right, that's what he's doing now.

He's out of the business, savvy sports radio veteran. He's a father, has got his kids, he's keeping an eye on and he's a PE teacher in Arizona's been out of the radio business for a couple of years. He misses it, but he doesn't miss the bullshit and radio and there's a lot of it in any business. But he is a p teacher. Got to hang out with him and his son. Wonderful. That kid's gonna run some

company someday. That kid really real sharp. Congratulations. So we ended up heading back to l I only visited him like an hour and a half. We headed back to l A around eleven pm and by the time we got back to the north Woods the sun was rising. Took a long time. We had stopped at a rest stop to my wife wanted to take a little bit of a nap, and so um I drove nent of this. We went eight hundred and two miles, spent twelve hours and forty two minutes driving, and we're absolutely and one day,

basically one day and travel. I looked it up. The amount of mileage we went is the equivalent of driving from New York City to Toronto, from New York to bar Harbor, Maine to Montreal, from New York to Ottawa to Roanoke, Virginia, from the Big Apple, or if we were in Boston, we would have driven to d C and then back to Boston or to Buffalo or Chicago

to Pittsburgh. That for data. It was a wild and crazy day and I likely am going to be doing that again in the near future, so I'll probably be back on the road again in a short amount of time. So we'll we'll see how that how that goes, But that was my raising Arizona. Will have another footnote on that coming up. Later in the podcast nine one one standing by staying by. Yeah, your wife could have possibly

taken one call. Exactly a week ago Saturday morning, I was up early doing post production on this very podcast right here, and God bless my my tender rowning. She will get up early with me on Saturday. She goes downstairs to the kitchen, make some scrambled eggs, puts them in a healthy tortilla wrap, the low carboes, the ones that are supposed to be better for you. But who are the green Yeah, the green spinach ones. Yeah, so yeah, why rule and a burrito? But it it tastes Okay,

how many calories are you saving on that? By the way, I know? Right, she walked up with a nice plate of like two egg Burritoska. She's like you, Ben, she doesn't like milk as you call it. I'm not a milk I'm not a milk drinker. She's not either. She she'll have almond milk in the refrigerator, but thinks regular milk is disgusting. Is disgusted by the way it looks, the way it smells everything, the way you hate ranch.

That's the way she hates milk. Part I don't know if she was like, remember she was a little girl. When I was growing up, I had like my mom force fed me milk and sandwiches, and I despised both and I but I did love the chocolate milk for a while, but then I got tired of that, and occasionally we had the strawberry milk. But even that, as a growing up, I'm like, no, no, So I feel what she's you're going to be bride is going through.

She was tortured just like you. She tells a tale of her and her brother sitting around the dinner table and they were not allowed to get up until their vegetables were eaten off their plate and their glass of milk had been drank. The milk for her was just as hard as the vegetables. Which I don't understand that because I could get rid of the milk fast the vegetables. My older brother and I used to do the napkin

trick under the table. Um. But but the milk, as long as it's cold, well, I understand if it's room temperature, it's been sitting a long time gross, But cold milk I like, especially with like a nice breakfast. If there's ketchup and eggs. If there's bacon something like that, cold milk really washes that down. Well, I'm more of an o J guyt a murder Now, I like the juice. I go not the o J the football, but I love the juice. I'm all about the juice. And I

so you remember Looney, I'm Tom Looney. When I worked with Looney, he would complain, he'd bitch. He said, eat the orange, don't drink the juice. And and really that was around the time I stopped drinking orange juice. I used to drink it on the weekends and in the morning when I go in and I have to work early. Do the football show that we did, and I loved orange juice. And he said, you know, there's twenty five oranges and one glass of orange juice. And so he's, uh, yeah,

I like orange juice. It's a little too citrusy. Sometimes it bothers my stomach a little bit. The milk is a nice way to soothe your stomach. That's why a good milkshake is always good for your diet. And the odd thing is, I don't like a glass of milk, but when you mix ice cream into it, I'm okay. With it like a milkshake. I'm I'm fine. I don't love the milkshake, but I'm not anti milkshake. I have a pro position. Yeah, funny how that happens. So let's

back up a whole year ago. Uh, my Tinderoni made a smoothie for me, brought it upstairs, set it on my nightstand, and I was half awake, you know, we were crazy radio hours, and instead of grabbing the cup, I grabbed the top of the cup. It came apart, reddish, purplish, healthy smoothie spilled all over the carpet. Remember this, Yes, I I mentioned this on a podcast about a year ago.

Now she freaked the funk out. All right. There are two things when it comes to the house, and that's anything red getting near the carpet or milk spilling on the carpet. Well, the melt. The melt. It's like a double whammy because not only do you have a liquids, but if you don't clean it upright, you got the stench. So I that's completely understand. I've only spilled something one time. I've known her now for two years. In that two

year period, I've spilled something exactly once. Well, you know how it goes though, Danny, right, you can be an upstanding citizen. You could kill one person, they call you a murder. So you destroyed one. You spill it one spill so you're a spiller and just called the ray Kerruth in the eyes of your the eyes of your your lady, you're a spiller. You're a spill hazard. I am the ray Kerruth of her carpet. Your your Klotz is what you are. I mean, she knew I was

half awake. She understood how it happened. She said, you know, it's my fault. I should have used a different cup, blah blah. So it seemed fine at the moment, but this is something she has never let me live down since. And now, after she handed me these two healthy burritos, she said, what would you like to drink? And I said, well, some nice cold milk would be great with this because there's some ketchup in salsa and these burritos. So let's go.

She goes downstairs, she comes up ben with an iron clad oh, one of the no spill cups, Like, yeah, right, okay, but she but she's looking at me as if I don't trust you. This is supposed to be spill proof, but I think you're gonna spill it. So she hands it to me and she's, you know, she's not saying anything, but she's not taking her eyes off of this this tumbler.

So I put it on the on the nightstand. She goes over to her side of the bed and she's she's gonna start reading her book while I'm doing my my audio editing. And Ben, it was precise timing. Also on my nightstand, I had a water bottle with excellent timing. I dropped the full water bottle onto the floor and as I did it, I said, oh shit. She turned around. The color had left her face. She went from normal looking to pale within two seconds. She thought for sure

I had spilled this milk all over the carpet. And I realized I messed up because when she looked over and she saw what really had happened, she said, you fuck her? Why would you do that? Uh? Ben, I I'm a good thing. I retook my CPR class last year. I am up to date on the certification. Because she was very close to going into cardiac arrest. Wow, well you're the you're the fifteen percent, right, there's a study done years ago. He said eight percent of what people

worry about it never happens. But the other fifteen percent of the time it does happen. And you're the fifteen percent where she was freaking out because he spilled that. Actually, I have something in common with you because this past week, what I do is I like my ice water and I actually have a tumbler like a sip we call, you know, sippy cup whatever, you can't spill it, and I usually have that near my side of the bed.

And my my wife had bought these really nice side tables that have like power connected to him and all that, so you can plug your phone in and charge it or whatever. It's been pretty cool thing. So I'm sleeping and I don't usually move that much in my sleep, but I guess either I moved or I knocked a pillow or something. I don't know what happened. But I wake up and I see my my sippy you know, thermis thing is spilled on its side and there's water everywhere.

And I'm lucky I did not start a fire, but I totally shorted out the nice table right near the bed. There. It's completely gone. Is there any way to fix that without replacing it to any you think there's any way to fix the like if it dries out, is there, I don't know. I don't think so. Is it doesn't have burn marks. And I didn't examine it too much because it was I was so piste off that like what I had done, like you should go back and and check and that also this, this whole conversation reminds

me of the early days of Fox Sports. Rader. I don't know if you were there for this or not, but somebody spilled water into the board, oh man, which is the most expensive part of a radio station outside of the transmitter. And uh so what they did was nobody coped to it, nobody admitted to it, and they were really piste off. They decided the solution was to buy everyone at the company a thermis, that a non

spill thermis. That was That was the move there. I remember this story, yeah, which seemed like a great idea, but um, it turns out some people like to drink those thermisis without the cap on, which kind of defeats the purpose. We're actually going to be in a beautiful studio coming up in a couple of months, something we haven't discussed on the podcast yet. Yeah, I'm I'm excited about that. You want to get into that now or should we wait until the big reveal happens. I guess

we should tease it right now. But yeah, we'll have a big reveal coming up. There was a listener who kept emailing us on the podcast asking us about our big move to Burbank. Well, that has been replaced with something else, and we'll just leave the tease right there. Yea, for now, for now done, and we will be walking in the footsteps a llegends when this happens. Okay, we will be following in the footsteps of leaking two different legends. Yeah, exactly,

that's all we're gonna say. It's all we're gonna say. And you'll have to figure that out while you're walking around the Pigley Wigley. So we have the deep fake that. Moving on, I want to go back to my time in Phoenix, my one day less than twenty four hours in the Valley of the Sun and that greater area, and it's I'm such a loser. When I drive through Phoenix, Danny, I think of who's spring training town is this? I was in Chandler. I was like, Oh, that's the Brewers.

I drove through good Year. I was like, I think that's the Reds and the team formerly known as the Indians. Also the birthplace of Bellinger. Yeah that's right, that's right. So I'm, you know, driving around there, and I'm looking at all the spring training towns and we did go to Mason, as I said, So, I decided on my way out of Phoenix, before we got back on the road, I decided to have some fun with my younger brother. I'm a middle child, so I have an older and

a younger brother. My younger brother lives in Appleton, Wisconsin. You might remember the story. Went back to visit him back in May, had a good time in Wisconsin, in Illinois and all that, so he knows I love cheese Kurds. But on my way out of the Greater Phoenix metropolitan area, I noticed they had Culver's, which is a mid It's like a Wisconsin fast food place. It's an Upper Midwest fast food chain called Culver's. I talked about it on the podcast I loved call we ate It. When you

went on your family trip, you talked about that place. Yeah, yeah, we ate there. Several times, and it was it was great. I loved it. And they're known for the butter burger and the cheese kurds and a bunch of other stuff. They've got all kinds of great desserts and really really good I said, you know what I mean, maybe that's some funnier. So I made the rare and appropriate, rare and appropriate late night meal run. And I did it mainly for two reasons. A. I love the food, and

B I wanted to goof on my my brother. So I went in there and I ordered a burger and some kurds. My my wife wanted a few pretzel bites. I then took a bunch of pictures and sent them to my brother, and I said, guess where I am, you know? And he he didn't. He didn't know there's Culver's in anywhere other than like Wisconsin and Minnesota and you know that part of the country. And so he was completely confused. He thought maybe it was like a

deep fake Danny, but it was real. It was legitimate, and and so uh, there are I did not realize there are thirty seven locations of that chain in Arizona. Now, WHOA, that's a ton I the last time I thought they had like one in Arizona. Now I have thirty seven the Grand Kaingan State. I stopped at the location for our friends in in Arizona. Stopped at the location off McDowell's,

which I think is the same street. When I was a kid, the Phoenix Sons used to play at this old barn and they called it the The man at a house on McDowell is what they call it, if I remember correctly. And so that's where I was, and so pull the prank took some pictures. My brother couldn't believe. He's like, oh, so that was my and I really enjoyed the meal, which means I'm either I was either really hungry or it's really good. I'm not sure. My wife not not as big a fan, not as big

a fan. Bad job by her not not getting not getting out and figuring it out, all right, the backscratcher, we'll get out on this. You scratch our back, we'll scratch your back. It is our weekly tip of the on air light to you, the loyal p one, the minion in the Mallard Militia. And so these are actual reviews from actual listeners to the fifth hour. Very simple to do. You lay it all out, Danny. It's all in the podcast profile, very simple, right, Just follow the

instructions and you can join the fun here. Super easy to leave a five star review, just click on this very descript in right here, and then when you're inside you'll see the overall rating for our show. When you page down a little bit underneath that, it says write a review. Click on that it will let you make a user name, and then you leave your review. Yeah, and for some reason, and we're really not sure why, but the management lurks around the Apple podcast picker man.

We don't really know why that is, but they do, and that's what they care about. Danny laid it all out for you, and that is what they they take notice of. They jot down what people are saying and all that. So if you want to help us out, great, If you want to screw us over, write a nasty review, but either way, it's available to you. How many reviews do you think we got this week, Danny g Last week we had a bunch. How many this week do you think we got one, two, three, four or none?

I'm gonna say, let's see. Last week, I think too I'm gonna say three this week. Three. You are Mr Optimistic and you are wrong. We got one, But if I feel like it's worth three because it came on Halloween, and so the fact that somebody took time out on Halloween to brighter review for the podcast, that's kind of cool, right, that's a good point. I think management would take that into account. Yeah, it's not like we're using strong arm tactics here, Daddy, were just asking people to help us out.

Some people want to help us out, some people already have. Other people are scaredy cats and don't want to do it. So John writes in uh headline on this excellent five stars. He says, this podcast is outstanding entertainment for me and my two German short haired pointers. After our uh chakr hunt. What is that? C h u k a R What is that? I don't know. I'm not sure, all right, he says, we are relaxing in my camper with all the luxuries at home. We are way out here in

the mountain country of eastern Oregon. Well that's pretty cool. Can imagine what that must look like with Bigfoot walking around and all that we put in our miles each day pursuing the elusive chi Car Partridge. I'm gonna have to look this up here or something. I don't let me. Let me see here. Let's put a little music in here and I'll see if I can find this. Okay, uh Partridge check party? Oh yeah it is, you're right. How did you do? Did you look that up? I didn't. Yeah,

it's a it's a weird looking bird. It's head kind of looks like a penguin. Part of it looks like a penguin. And wow, it's got strong Oh, this is actually pretty cool. I haven't even I've never even heard of this bird. Bird bird birds. The word bird is the word John. Thank you you've opened my eyes to this. I probably a look at it. How do you spell it? Uh? Let me let me send you the link. Because it looks like the face, part of it kind of looks like a penguin. But then on the side, it's got

a patch that looks like a zebra. Uh A little bit. It's very it's very bizarre. I can understand why you'd be out in the middle of of the boondocks trying to defined it. That's what I mean. What do you do with it? When you find it. I don't think you can probably do anything with it. But it's wow, that's that's crazy. I've never seen it doesn't according to the map here, it's not in in a I don't think you're looking at it right. That's a plump pussy

right there. No, but it doesn't. It kind of look like a penguin part of the face, and then it's got stripes on the side like a zebra would have or something like. The face has kind of a look to it. Yeah, that's wild. I've never seen it that before. And it's got like a black bandana going right over its face and I dare you like a robber's mask, says. The bird is native to its native in Asia ranges in Asia including Jordan, Israel, Palestine, Lebanon, Syria, Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan,

and India. Uh It has been introduced widely as a game bird in the feral populations and has become established in the United States Rocky Mountains, Great Basin, high desert areas. Oh, it is in California. Also crazy. You can't hunt it then? Yeah, it would appear to be as you said, it's plump, so you can you can hunt it anyway, John continues.

As a review, he says, went back at the camper, I take an outdoor shower, put on clean clothes, have lunch, and then enjoy Benn and Danny g How about that week's worth of podcast since we hunt during the week when in bed at night, we listened to the regular show, the overnight show, keep up the great work boys, the dogs, and I really enjoy listening to these podcasts. Well, that's great, John, thank you, And you painted a great picture and you introduced us to a bird we did not know exist.

So that's a wonderful review. That's that's one of the great reviews we've had on the Apple podcast page. So thank He needs to email you, and he needs to let us know how that bird tastes. Yeah, and do the dogs catch the bird or do you have to actually shoot the bird? Like, what's the what's the move on? It is a does the bird fly? And some of these birds don't fly. It's called the bogo bird that doesn't fly. But yeah, the real fifth Hour at gmail

dot com. Send an email, Yeah, send us an email there. We'll check it out, John, So thank you. We'll get out on that note. Anything to promote here Danny g on this first Saturday of November. Yes, sir, I'm gonna be headed in to have some fun on the Jonas Knock Saturday Show eleven am to two pm Pacific time. And then after that the great Steve Hartman. You know him and love him from the Loose Cannons back in the day, and he's paired up with from Salam for

football season. Alright, So that's what Danny's got. I have, well, I have nothing really going on, nothing really going on. You were on the road so much last weekend. You need to kick back in your lounge chair this weekend. Life is for the living, Danny. You never know, I might end up who knows where, Tim muktoo, God forbid. But on that we'll get out and we say bye bye. That's what we do. Well, I'm not quite like that, but have a great rest your Saturday. We got a

spicy hot mail bag. Never all right, I's never ever like that, and that will be laughing and Cob that com they'll have a have a great time. Yeah, asked Ben on Sundays, is one of the best shows of the week. Yeah, it's pretty good. I love no No, no, no, no, no no, it's not asking just it's the mail back. This is nothing like ask Ben. No no, no no, that's something you're gonna edit that out of the podcast. Wrong. That's nothing like askepen. This is not some cheap rip off.

This is an authentic, unique bit, is what we're doing. It is absolutely all right. I'll catch you tomorrow. Asta pasta population