The Fifth Hour: "Just a Blarney Stone Taste" Mail Bag

Kabbooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

Wow.

The Clearinghouse of hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.

The air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me Ben Maler and Danny g Radio and a Happy Sunday Sunday Sunday.

It is Selection Sunday.

Later today, get your bracket ready, as we will become Danny professional Bracketologist. Selection Sunday a day unlike any other when everyone tries to get that perfect bracket. We'll see all the odds posted that you have a better chance of finding out how to solve you cancer then getting a perfect bracket and all that. But today it is the greatest day of them all, Selection Sunday. Well, I don't think the greatest day of them all, but later

I did see a.

Video, speaking of selfies, I saw a video the other day making the rounds.

I don't think I send to you.

Have you seen the video of people taking selfies with wild animals, and the wild animals then like attack them.

Have you seen that?

No?

Oh, it's so good. Yeah.

These people are like in different locations and they're trying to do like a little selfie and the animals that I have none of it, and goes bananas on the people, like you head budding them or biting.

Them, And let me send this it right now. It is really funny. It just popped in my head because of no selfie day to day, which is really like.

No, no, this is something Klay, Travis and I can talk about on the Animal Thunderdome podcast.

No no, your son is going to be hosting that. Remember, your son will be getting that. Cole will be hosting that y and then one of Clay's kids will be hosting it.

You are not.

We determined long ago that that that's the way that's gonna go now.

But all right, I send it to you can check it out. There's some funny videos.

And there's like twenty or thirty different clips of people just trying to get a selfie.

Be all cool and all that. Now, didn't you know the first selfie?

This one knows a fun fact for Alfhi alien O Piner in Springfield, mass the very first selfie. Robert Cornelius took the first selfie in the United States in eighteen thirty nine. Put that in your pipe and smoke at eighteen thirty nine. The instant camera like Polaroid game affordable nineteen seventies. Have you did you find the video? Did you get the video? Now you're checking out the clip there? Did it come through?

Yeah? It's still good.

Animal Thunderdome Department right there.

I'm I'm gonna save this for my son.

Yeah, that would be perfect. I co would love that. I don't think if there's any whale.

I don't. I don't think there's whales in there. Maybe there are.

You gotta take cole whale watching though, although I call it dolphin watching because mostly you only see dolphins. Every time I've gone out whale watching. I've seen dolphins. I've only seen whales like twice.

Once.

You know where there's good whale watching is in Santa Barbara. There's some pretty good whale watching in Santa Barbara, at least that's where I saw my whales.

Whale but not.

Like in Newport. Each mostly dolphins.

Will I saw a lot of overeaters when I visited Idaho, so CoA would be saying, well, a lot if he visited Idaho.

Well, well, well, well, well, well well well well.

Before no, no, not at all. All right, let's get before we get to the mail bag. I did have a phrase of.

The week mail bag edition of phrase of the week.

All right, phrase of the week. Now, this is in honor of Saint Patti's day.

It is related. Let me explain.

Gift of gab. Gift of gab is the phrase of the week. Some will say that you, Danny, have the gift of gab. People have said I have the gift gift of gab. I do not believe I do, because I'm pretty quiet when I'm not working.

But there are people that never turn off the on air light. They are always on. Much like that high school.

It sounds like that high school official Danny that you were dealing with, and you told the story yesterday. It was someone that had the gift of gab and just kept.

Going and going and going anyway.

The whole phrase gift of gab originated around sixteen eighty, so mid to late sixteen hundreds. By the late seventeen hundreds, so about one hundred years after that, gab was used in English to refer to chatter, much like it is, you know, gabby or gabin or whatever I think gabby, but chatter, and the adjective gabby came about to describe someone who is just talking, you know, just a kid,

Now how do you acquire it?

All you have to do is kiss the Blarney Stone, the famous Irish Blarney Stone in honor of Saint Patti's Day, the giant block of limestone in Ireland, and that is the legend is that if you go there. Blarney is a small town in Ireland, although it's known worldwide, it dates back. The significance dates back to the thirteen hundreds and the historical Kingdom of Desmond assisted the Scots against the England England and the.

Battle of badock Burn. If I'm saying that right anyway, don't You don't get in the whole history.

But that's the legend. It started originally all the way back in the thirteen notes. But the modern time term gab as in just talk talk talk, talk talk, and gift of gab is a reference to the Irish Blarney Stones. If you say somebody's got the gift of gab, they kissed the Blarnie stone.

It's all related together. Enough of that, let's get to the letters. Letters, letters, letters, MAYL mail, mayo, mayl mail.

Let's go. It's mail.

Okay, thank you, ohio Al appreciate that first one up is from j in no Ho.

That's no North Hollywood. Get your mind out of the gutter.

And so callis has been joy you on this week on AM five seventy with Fred Rogan. Liked when you're forced to talk about the Lakers and you can't rip them. Will you be making any appearances locally coming up? Well, Jay A, I'm not. They don't tell me.

To not rip the Lakers. I can rip Theers anytime I want.

And I don't know where you get that from.

Jay.

It's not the Lakers station. They're the Dodger station. AM five seventy, the flagship of the Dodgers, and I am. I am scheduled Jay to fill in tomorrow. I am going to be on the Rogan Rodney Show, where neither Rogan or Rodney will be there because they will both be in Japan for the Dodgers and the Cubs. They open up, is it Tuesday morning? Tuesday morning, Dodgers and Cubs, and so they won't.

Can't believe we're gonna have the Dodgers opener already. That is crazy, Yea, it is wild.

And the reigning champions of baseball, Daddy, the Dodgers, the ragning champs.

Yeah, yeah, Well about the Lakers. It's good news though that you've been a Luca fan since he entered the NBA seven seasons ago. So Ben mallor well known Big Luca Guy.

Ukah Luca and Clipper's own Luca.

I just have him in the playoffs several times, or at least a couple of times.

It's about the only thing the Clippers on.

Yeah, very funny, Okay, Jack Gass, I don't know. The Lakers appear to be falling apart here.

I don't know.

I don't know, dam or injured without starters.

That's what happens when you have older people and they get hurt, their injury prone.

I'm just saying that, I don't know. Maybe that gotta watch out. I mean, you could pull a half of me and miss a week of your radio show.

That podcast, man, I don't know that podcast. Coach guy, everything all right there, and things are going tough for the Lakers.

Not a not a great week.

Here, and so they lose a few in a row. But when they won nine in a row, you had nothing to say.

Oh, they played bad teams, mostly wrong.

I'm just saying anyway, but yeah, Jay, I'll be on with our guy, Jonas Knox. Actually tomorrow I'm scheduled be under Marrow and possibly another show later later in the week, although I try to limit that Danny the day night double header because if I do too much of that, I want to poke my eyes out with a butcher knife.

So I love doing it and rare.

And appropriate, not all the time, not all the time. Alf from the first shift right, So he says two quick questions, Ben and Danny. Do you drive to the AM five to seventy studios when you fill in or do you broadcast from the home studio? And how much fun is it to have do you have yucking it up with Fred?

I really enjoy your banter.

It seems like you are very comfortable together, like a couple of guys having a beer at the bar.

That's from Alf. So the magic of a radio.

I never never say if I drive in or not, but we're brought together on the radio.

Whether I'm there, whether.

Fred's there or Fred's in Palm Springs and I'm somewhere else, it doesn't matter. But we do the show and I enjoy working with Fred. I grew up watching Fred on TV. We had a few battles when I first got into the media business. Me and Fred had some battles, but we've made things made up and we're friends now. And Fred's Fred's a legend man. He's pop up on the

Last time that news was broken, it was done. Morse code.

Yeah, there was no radio when the Titanic hit the icebery, so literally the only time in the history of radio that he's that story was broken was courtesy of Marcel in Brooklyn. Oh my god, Oh my gosh, the stuff that's happened on the Overnight show. Danny, you were here for the once you You were there for that, weren't you? Was that when you were there? Were you gone by then?

I was driving in for the Klae Travis show when you and Roberto and Eddie broke that news with Marcel.

That was that was great. I can't believe that didn't get picked up by the by the media. That should have been a big story.

Uh yeah, it's by Bart.

I'm trying to think what other famous trials happened around the Menendez trial. Is a good one that's about thirty years old. What else famous trials? Mick Martin preschool remember that one? The preschool one? And I don't know that was his big game.

Yeah, he might have a jfk assassination to cover good one.

Oh you could do the I'm trying to think.

There was something that popped in my head and just popped out of my head, and I wanted to pop back in my head, so I can mention it. Famous trial. How about the Mike Tyson rape trial? Remember that one that there was a that that took place. Was that in the two thousands or the late nineties? I don't remember, want to say that was the nineties nineties. Okay, so there's that one. Famous trials for a thousand.

I'm trying to try.

You could do you about the Michael Jackson trial in Santa Maria, California.

Oh?

Yeah, we had charge was it Charger Dodger Eric?

That guy didn't call anymore. I don't know if he's still around.

Charger Dodger Eric called us from from Michael Jackson's ranch. There was a big rally in support of Michael Jackson while all that was going down, and he got on a bus. There was like buses picking up dudes in LA and driving him out to Michael Jackson's.

Was it never Land Ranch? Right? Used to hang out there when you were younger, right, Danny, never Land Ranch.

No, I went there at a much later age when I was programming a radio station there in the Pismo Beach area.

Oh okay, I thought maybe when you were younger, you and Michael hung out, you know, you know whatever.

But no, no, it never never took place.

Nope, you got me confused with Corey Feldman.

Oh boy, hello for.

One of the Corey's. I forget which Corey.

Yeah.

They speaking of trials. I saw the other day. People were like stunned at the Diddy. The didd he look right, he showed up, he pled, not guilty. There were some new allegations made against him, and people are like, whoa, his appearance is much different there, he changed his appearance.

He's got white hair and a white beech weird. Are you not allowed to dye your hair in jail? Is that why he has that? Or are you allowed to? I don't know the rules on that, but.

That's a great question. Or or do you look to shoveled? Is that like his defense lawyer's tactic. One of the tactics like, dude, look like a shell of yourself so people can feel pity on you.

Yeah, I that is something that they'll do in court. But he's stopped obviously he was coloring his hair. He stopped coloring his How old is Diddy now? He's in his fifties or is he older than that?

I want to say he's pushing mid late fifties. Gotta be yeah, fifty seven. I would guess, okay, something like that.

I don't know.

But he obviously was dyeing his hair and he stopped and his natural hair color came through him. But if you're not allowed to die your hair, now, the real test is when you go to trial, right, because you I thought you want to look professional and dressed up.

Up in your suit and all that if you're allowed to So, yeah, there's different strategies. I'm not a lawyer, Danny, but I can play one on the radio or the podcast.

Right.

Oh, and he's going to be fifty six in November.

All right, Well that's about the time no stuff starts going away, I guess. Kevin in Kansas Rights and you're listening to the mail bag here on the fifth hour, potches our guy, Kevin says, dear band, and Danny g In the past two weeks, on the same stretch of highway in southwest Kansas, I've driven through a near blizzard and a driving dust storm, Kevin says, having survived both,

It's Nevada. We drove my cousin and I we were on a hiking trip. We drove through an electrical storm, lightning everywhere. It was crazy. I mean you could see the lightning bolts striking the ground all alongside the freeway and you just.

Kept motoring on, kept going. You don't want to pull over in that, right, you want to keep it.

Oh, you got it. You have to keep building.

And this was a southern Nevada or northern Nevada zion area.

Oh, going towards going towards Utah, like so.

The yeah, exactly, Okay, yeah, well the worst, Uh, that sounds terrible, the worst thing I've ever driven through, other than like some random snowstorm, which wasn't all that bad. I was actually driving back from Vegas one time. The hills on the way to California were covered in snow and it was not supposed to snow, and we were like, we were not.

Prepared for it.

But in Buffalo, here we go, Buffalo, here we go. So years ago, attended a Buffalo Bills game against the Tennessee Titans. It was early in the season. The only time I've ever been to a Buffalo Bills game, and after the game, we were this is the famous story where we were going to try to get a hotel room at the last minute, and every hotel in Greater Buffalo was booked up, so I had to sleep in my car in right across from the Buffalo Niagara Airport in the parking lot so we could use the free

A car in front of us.

And it was so bad that I literally stopped in the middle of the road and because I saw I thought I saw the car in front stop and I thought I was gonna die that night.

It was that bad.

I thought, well, we're probably just gonna get hit by a truck and that'll be lights out.

That's game over, and you know, go back to zero.

And fortunately it was a it was about a five to ten minute storm that passed over and then it cleared up and that was It was very bizarre.

But that's the worst.

Worst weather, Kevin Man, that's no joke. I can only imagine. That's what it's like. But with snow when they have the and we're seeing it at the Bills games, right when they have one or two games a year that are played in white out conditions, and it's the same frickin thing. It's just and that's what happens.

So you mentioned Livy, has it got to be wide out racist? Now it's we're good now, Danny, Remember we're good. Things have changed. It's twenty twenty five. We're all right now.

And by the way, awesome question there. Thank you for letting us relive those traumatic experiences. Yeah.

Yeah, And Kevin lives in Kansas, so he judging by the week he has those every every every other week. Uh Cincinnati, Tommy writes, since says, greetings from the Queen City. Thanks for giving my game show idea a shot. He says, no doubt it will endure as another Malard classic. I do believe you have groove two fastballs down the middle for Loraino so far, Marcel and blind Scott being one for two. I shudder at the thought of a formidable

It was a good idea.

We appreciate it, and Lorena loves it because it's all about Lorena, so she's she's obviously a big fan. And it seems like it's doing pretty well. We're still trying to work out some of the kings. It's still in the beta phase where we're still trying to master it and we'll get there.

You know. It's scary, and I feel like you should bring her some sort of gift to the studios next week, because she never gets any kind of you know, acknowledgement or anything.

Yeah, it's now at the point where when I run into people at work and I don't see a lot of people, I'll get there early. Sometimes I'll see some of the people during the Jason Smith show that are wandering around the building and it's always, hey, you know, there's a couple of packages for Lorraina over there. It's like every every person I see, they don't even say hello to me. You know, there's some packages over there

Yeah, it's a it's a running joke now at the studios when we sit down for the Coveno and Rich pre show meeting, we don't even have to look at who the boxes are addressed to. In the male area by the white desk there, it's just, oh, look, Lorena has two boxes today.

Yeah, it's insane.

I told her, I said, you're getting more male than Colin Cowherd. You're getting more male and like George Nori all these big time radio people, Lorena is beloved by the Malad militia.

I don't know why this is. Can you explain why that is? Danny.

Yeah, because we have some thirsty men listening to the network and if there's a female voice, if there's a female with a pulse, they go nuts.

That is generally true.

I will point out though for the record, now I have and with a boot job.

Well that doesn't hurt, and very open about that.

You know, sometimes you kind of hide that ladies, but she's very open by it. But the thing too, I've worked with several women over the years, and you know, had had good shows with Karen Kay and we had Moranda Marino as my producer for a while, done shows with the several deb Carson worked at our place, and several other fine ladies, but no one has embraced been embraced quite like Lorena.

It is.

I remember when I worked with Karen and in the early days, and I love KK, but she got a lot of like prison mail. They were like dudes in prison that we're all excited and we're sending her.

Messages and stuff.

But Loraina, these guys aren't in prison, and they're just like regular super fans of the show, and they love Lorena. As you said, Danny, a little thirsty and to eat their own and they just want to spoil Lorena with desserts. And that's the funny thing. She gets most of its food. There are some clothes and stuff, but a lot of its food. And Loraina eats like a bird where she'll eat a lot, like take a couple of bites of everything.

But she just takes a couple of bites and that's it.

As Eddie used to say, just the taste.

Stop. Yeah, yeah, just a little taste. That's it.

Thank you for that, appreciate it. Let's see here the person sending Laingerye gift cards. Maybe in prison soon.

She has gotten some of those.

I'm not gonna lie Mike in Fullerton, right since says hey, Marathon, Maller and Danny g wait to pull off the double shift no problem. Earlier this week, Ben and Danny G. I'm so sorry Gino Smith is now your quarterback. Danny, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. With Chiefs Kingdom also collapsing and bo Nick's about to enter a sophomore slump, it looks like the AFC West is ripe for my chargers to take the division.

Oh you mean the Clippers of the NFL.

You don't have to, You don't have to take a shot at the Clippers because it is okay. He says, what do you guys make of chat GPT's prediction of the next seventy five NBA champions It doesn't think the Lakers will win another title until twenty forty five, or that the Clippers will win any uh So that's got to be an accurate right either way, it's got some interesting predictions in there. Yeah, he sent a photo here, you know, come on, it's like that story the other

We pick up. Like, what are you doing?

Like, it's it's fun to fight's around with. We're not we're not quite there. And what happens if they actually get artificial intelligence that can predict who's going to win the championship, that'll that'll be the end.

Of Spas Vegas going to deal with.

That exactly right, That's that's back to the future type stuff.

You're you're in the in the Laker thing. You you being a big Luca fan, you know that that's inaccurate. It hukah Luca who And it's big on the hookah, and he's big on the Luca.

What a great nickname, hookah Luca. Such great nickname, man alive, zach in.

Rich David said, if somebody in LA was a smart entrepreneur, they would start opening up some hookah spots called Luca's Hookah.

Oh yeah, hookah Luca be wonderful.

Yeah, put a picture of Luca on the front of the building smoking some hookahch.

He ought to open some up, is what he should do, Zach in Columbus writes in he says, big men, spring is here, Ohio is calling. We still hope to see you at the r Bar when you.

Can make the trip. Yeah, I got to get there.

I'm looking at some dates, Zach, and I'll let you know sometime.

Maybe in June, maybe June. Do the Ohio thing.

I got hopefully Canada in late May, early June. A lot of traveling. June, July, August, that's usually the time. Got to get all those trips in before football comes back around in September. Right, that's the key, Danny, that's the master plan. Yes, Zach writes, and he says there's always shenanigans, but this night he has tails from the bar. This guy's a big time mogul. He runs one of the coolest bars there in Columbus, and he's invited us

Blah blah blah blah blah.

And he says he was logging up and someone from another brewery group went missing.

It was a lady. Her name. Her name is not important.

But Zach said he peeked into the bathroom and he saw one stall closed with two little arms sticking out.

He tried the door, but it was locked.

He said he didn't want to drag her out to prevent injury, so he went to the adjacent stall to hop over and unlocked. He climbed over and this poor woman was but ass naked, face down.

He said.

It got even worse. Apparently she was in the middle of going number two and she did not finish the activity there, Zach says, so he went to unlock the door, and he said, thank god, one of her co workers. Was there this guy Timm. He says, okay, he was a gay guy, and he says, the guy's a hero. Zach says, fished her close out of the garbage. Apparently she had thrown her clothes in the garbage and they had to put her clothes back on, which apparently was a struggle.

She was a larger woman, the clothes were too.

Small, and Zach said that this is the story he wanted to share with the class Danny.

So they got an uber for her to go home.

And apparently it was a very messy experience to try to as you might imagine, just a night at the bar, Danny, just a night managing the bar.

You never know, you never know what you're gonna get at the bar. You have no idea. A couple more quick ones, Reggie, thank you. Zach. By the way, I'll let you know some dates. We'll see what it works.

I got to make sure Dick and Dayton can be there, though, because if Dick and Dayton can't be there, I'm not going.

So I got to make sure he's available, Reggie.

From me, he's basically the governor of Ohio.

He is the sovereign nation of Ohio.

Peop will not leave Ohio was fascinat anything in the world. At least he lives in Ohio and not like Rhode Island that would be a big problem. Reggie from Detroit says, hey, Ben and Danny, if you saw this. With college basketball tournament coming up here soon, Bowling Green's point guard played three straight games with two broken hands, he says, where does this rank on your big board of accomplishments? So I didn't see this. You sent me a link here, Reggie,

Do you remember that?

And I I couldn't talk, and I kept doing the show and no one from management was listening. So I just kept doing the show because I didn't want to take a day off and I had laryngitis.

And I was like, he reminded me of Chick hern trying to keep his record of the most NBA consecutive play by play games. Oh yeah, and they actually had him on the air in the first half of a Lakers game. He could not even speak every other word you couldn't make out because his laryngitis was so horrible.

Oh boy, yeah, Chicky Burger.

I covered Chick when he did like three thousand consecutive games. His three thousandth game, it was I think MLK Day against the Orlando Magic, and they'd given him all these little trinkets, and I Joe McDonald, who was the afternoon guy, and I was at that Joe Big Nasty, and Joe wanted me to have Chick call his show. But at the Forum at that time, the cell my cell phone did not work because I guess I had the wrong cell phone company and it was the Forum. As you know,

Are you okay with this?

So, Kevin, I did not see this until you pointed this out. I have seen some photos from spring training. Appears to be in Port Saint Lucie, Florida.

I hate it. Mascots are not supposed to be in shape.

Mascots are supposed to either be really fat or really skinny and no muscle. You you should not have a in shape mascot.

Who goofed?

I've got to know, And is mister Met doing steroids? That's what I want? Is he going to be suspended? Mister med for performance enhancing drugs, because that that is not good. Not a fan, not a fan, Danny. I do not want mister Mett all all roided up. Don't need it, do not need it. Mascots should all be shlubs. Yeah, like you gotta be like the Philly Fanatic or Wally the Green Monster. You just gotta be either you're really fat or you're just kind of you're weak looking because you're.

You have to be seconds away from a heart attack, like the Nuggets mascot when he was lowered from the rafters.

Greatest mascot bit of all time that the mascot scept it was real.

The dude passed out the mascot uniform. And the best part was the Denver dancers continue to do their dance routine around him as he was dead.

Yeah, these women are shaking their asses as Rocky comes down.

It looks like he's dead and they're just the happiest thing. Positively, that like smiling, so good. That was so funny.

That was the greatest mascot moment in all of sports.

Oh, it was outstanding.

That and when mister Mett gave the bird, remember that was on the front front of the New York Post. Mister met gave a fan the bird. All right, get out on that, Danny. I'll be back tonight with Selection Sunday fun and all that wonderful stuff. Well, we'll get to that coming up tonight in the Monday morning two to six Monday, eleven to three tonight in the west. We start at eleven pm here on the West coast and two am on the East coast, and you'll be back I assume tomorrow.

Danny, right, with full week with Comino and Rich.

Yes, yes, sir, yeah, we had those few days off and now back on the grindstone in the regular timeslot from five to seven pm on the East coast that's two to four pm on the West side, and beautiful Petaluma, California.

Solid Pedaluma. All right, We'll have a wonderful rest of your day.

Enjoy the selection show if you're into that kind of thing, and don't forget to fill out your FSR bracket. The bracket challenge is back. All right, we'll talk to you then. Aloha later, skater. Oh yeah, no, as you said it, due later skater today.

I did You're right, you did it.

Got a murder. I gotta go