The Fifth Hour: Inca Power to Gator Giggity

Kabbooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's a clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

In the air everywhere The Fifth Hour, but you already knew that. Ben Mahler and Danny G Radio Great to have you as we hang out together all weekend, starting here on a Friday where the football world is still trying to recover Danny G from the Chicago Bears actually having a pulse and actually looking like they knew what they were doing, which is crazy. Last night's game between the Bears and the team formerly known as the Redskins.

You know it's crazy because when we were on the air on Covino and Rich on Thursday afternoon, the breaking news about the sad passing of Dick Buckis happened while we were in our second hour, and at the end of the show, Rich Davis was giving his gambling picks and three of us, me, Coveno, and Spot. We were like, you know, this is going to be win one for the gipper type stuff tonight, and Rich was like, nah, nah,

No, well, but I actually agree.

I don't think the players have any idea who Dick Buckets is now. They won the game, they played great the Bears last time, but I got no vibe. I've been around some of these guys, Dan, You've been around these players, Like, a lot of these guys are not fans. They just happen to be really good at playing.

So I can right about that.

But I would have wheeled the av cart in just like they did when you and I were in the fifth grade. And I would have had the guys watch NFL films and watch Dick Buckis talk about how intimidating he was when guys try to cross the middle of the field.

Yeah. No, I listened to a legend.

And you know, and with all due respect, I'm not saying this in a derogatory way. The name Dick but Kiss is one of the all time great sports names. It's an amazing name, not just because he was a wonderful football player.

But every kid, every kid, Danny.

You take a child who doesn't know anything about the Chicago Bears or football, and you say, there's a guy that is named Dick but Kiss. That's his name, Dick Bucket. These kids laughed their ass off. They think that's the funniest thing in the world.

It's a great Yeah. Speaking of yesterday, Rich got dumped when he said butthole on the air. But then when we're in the show, we were talking about butt kiss and he came in during the commercial break and he told Ramos, He's like, let me get this straight. I can't say butthole, but I can say butt kiss.

What did Ramos say?

He's like, you know, Ramos, He's like, he's like, yeah, my fingers over the.

Dump button by the book. But why didn't do leave it out? Well, that's one of those things. I remember.

There was a somebody in radio in La got in trouble because you can say pissed off, but you can't say pissed on or something like that.

Something right, Yeah.

Yeah, you're not supposed to talk about bodily fluids.

But I don't know. That seems little of the lot.

But we don't make the rules. We don't really follow him. It's a podcast. There's really no rules on a podcast.

We can that's what's great about this. If, yeah, if you and I were in charge of the FCC, you'd be hearing people say ship all day, all over FM and AM radio stations.

You should be a lot somebody. Somebody's gonna need a therapist because they hear the word ship. I mean, that's what we all have to live. You have to ship anyway on this podcast, we've got inca power before I before I get to all this, uh, just one final point.

I want to get your thoughts standing now.

I had an epiphany because the the quarterback defenders of Justin Fields, and I ripped Justin Fields and he played great last night, congratulations. But they've told me that Justin Fields cannot succeed in the NFL because he's got a terrible coach, he's got no offensive line, and he has no real help at receiver. So are all those things still true or or we're all those things lies. I'm asking for a friend. I'm asking for a friend, Dandy, because I thought Matt Eberflus, the coach of the Bears,

But are all those things true or not true? I'm confused.

I feel like Fields was just slow getting out of the starting blocks this season, because he looked a lot better last weekend against the Broncos. Hell, they were lucky to come out of that game with a W. I had a better feeling about him going into this game just because of last weekend.

Well I didn't.

And these are bad teams, though I guess he's a bad team quarterback. He's against good teams. He's fallible, he's error prone. Certainly, he's imperfect. But he looked completely differ. It's like he's back at Ohio State playing Rutgers in Northwestern or something like that.

Dallan, you Ben, he had a buttkiss jersey when he was a little kid.

Yeah, I want to bet on that all right, I've got on this podcast.

We've got inca power double your pleasure.

Word of the week Safari Kingdom and Pop goes to Culture time permitting.

We always we put too.

Much into the refrigerator and then the fridge won't close before we get to all that most important thing, most important thing. New TV show drops today, drops today. Check your local listings Benny Versus the Penny. I did check some local listings. I didn't have time to get to everything, but I know the show's first airing will be in Philadelphia today on NBC Sports Philadelphia at six point thirty

You can hear the show at seven thirty.

That's the first airing in Boston, and then right again an hour and a half later.

It'll be on.

Again at nine o'clock in Boston, and then in Chicago. It will air today at six thirty Central Time, and there should be some more encore viewings, but I'm not sure when. And we're on in the Bay Area NBC Sports Bay Area you can watch the show at six pm and then again at seven thirty, so we'll be on a few times there.

I used my Spectrum ap on my phone last weekend when I was in Vegas and watched your show from my phone.

Oh thank you, I appreciate it.

Yeah, we're on Spectrum so Cal Spectrum, Spectrum so Cal Sportsnet.

Is that it. I don't even know the name.

Yeah, the Lakers version, not the Dodgers version.

Yeah yeah, yeah, So we're on in LA that usually on Saturday. They usually air it starting at like six in the morning, and then it's sporadically every.

Yeah, like every three hours after that.

Yeah yeah, yeah, like clockwork. Anyway, So listen. I hope you can watch the show. It would mean a lot. But let's get to tune in for the pot Let's get to the podcast. So it was very cool, Danny, to have one of the most interesting people I have ever met in my life in studio. We called it inca power. It was really cool. We had an in studio visitor all the way from New York hanging out

Inca Terror.

He's a composer.

Yes, he's a pianist and a composer out of New York, but he's a native of Peru. His story is insane. Do you remember his story, Danny, Are you aware of the Inca Terror story?

It's craziness a little bit. I'll let you tell it right now.

I want to tell a story for those that missed the show the other night, the live radio show. So Inca is really good at music. Like he's also totally blind, but that's part of the story. He's performed throughout the United States that he was actually on a music tour through la and he's going to Seattle. They'll be performing in Seattle. I do recommend checking him out really good and anyway, So anka Tera will be performing in Seattle next week I think obviously not this weekend, next weekend.

But he was two years old.

His parents attempted because he's from a very primal like a tribe in the Jungles of Peru out in the mountains, twelve thousand feet in the sky, and so his parents attempted to stake a human sacrifice. Our buddy inca terror to the son God. So what happened was he's two years old, He's lying on his mom's lap. She holds him so he can't move, and the father keeps hitting him in the head with a hammer. So let me imagine the nightmare. And at some point the mom's like,

And so.

She pulled her her son, which is now as we know him, inca terror and pulled pulled her son away, and because her husband kept hitting the hammer on the kid's head, and then she ran through the jungles of Peru. She got to a hospital. She was holding the baby the whole time. He got to a hospital, dropped the kid off, never saw the kid again, and he went to the hospital and they were able to save his life, obviously because we had him on the radio. But as

Or he because he's gone back.

To Peru, but I don't think he's visited the.

The place he was originally from. But anyway, so that's his story and it was great to have.

Him, and I really enjoyed, really enjoyed the visit.

It's pretty cool.

So dude, now that you're on the movie set and you know all the TV and movie executives, I'm telling you, that is a winning movie script right there.

I agree.

That would be a hell of a story that this guy he writes, not just plays the piano, but he he performs.

And I remember the first night that he played live, Yeah, and we were blown away. We thought it was phony, We thought it was fake that he was playing some recording for us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very odd when you get someone who's really here. Because no, I don't want to rip anybody, but we've got that pig guy, you know, the guy that does pig song, pig sound.

Wow, that's my desk. Yeah, that's what we're used to.

And then you get a classically trained uh guy's got a Master of Music degree in piano performs but he performs. And what I meant to say is he also composes music. And so we were talking about that, and of course you know what I did, Danny as I said, oh, you know, I know this one thing about music, you know, and and so it was, uh, I think we talked about on the podcast. Actually it was that there's only

I had no idea. I just had read that on the internet and I went with it. And uh, he was he was a nicey.

He pacified me, and uh, and he knew like every every song that was played, every single song that was played. He's so locked in that's his world. Although we didn't play any barbershop quartets.

I don't know that he would have known that, but.

Anyway, listen, it was it was awesome and there you go. So I had a great time with with Inca Terror. And he's his website if you want to learn more about him, it's incowarrior dot com. He felt Terror probably not good to sell tickets to watch him play the piano, so.

Uh, Inca Terror or incowarrior.

Dot com is his website if you want to learn more about him. And he's got a YouTube channel, and I did tell him. I was telling him I like classical music when I can get ready for the show, so I can kind of lock the.

World out and kind of calming and all that.

I can focus. But I'll have to put on his YouTube channel and here some of his some.

Of his work.

It's the same twelve notes. By the way, this is twelve notes.

Is that thing? Okay?

Put that in your pocket.

I got to remember that.

Yeah, all right, So double your pleasure, double your fun this week, little extra work again, I know, have enough going on. So Tuesday I was invited as a guest host on the Rogan and Rodney Show, so I filled in with Fred Rogan. Now, if you're not from LA, you might not know who Fred is. Fred is the dean of LA Sports. He worked at Channel four, the NBC affiliate in LA for I'll be conservative. I don't only get too crazy. Two thousand years Danny. I think he worked at the Channel four roughly.

I don't know he did the I.

Used to hear Jonas Knox and Rob Parker fill in with him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, listen.

I they asked me, you know whatever, I think Jonas still fills in.

We don't need to bring Jonas in because.

I can't do the shows that much. But Fred had this thing called Rogan's Heroes, which it was similar to what Marv Albert had. Marv had something else.

In New York.

But anyway, they host the midday show.

Fred hosts the midday show on the Dodgers flagship station AM five seven LA Sports, And so that's from noon to three, which is cool. It's a nice time slot. But I work all night and I got crazy hours, so it's a big adjustment with the body clock.

I've done this a few times.

We talked about it, shifting bio rhythms around. Good times. Had fun doing the show. It was great, a lot different. You know, I'm not really the lead guy on that. I'm just kind of reacting, you know, with Fred and just kind of let it rip. Don't worry about as much. And so that was fun and it was a bit worn out, and then I did the overnight show and I was completely song completely songed Hot Danny. People don't realize the hot take assembly line does not shut down.

All day.

There's a demand. There's a shortage of hot takes. People need their hot takes day and night. They need their hot takes the conveyor belt.

It's like the famous I Love Lucy episode where they don't know what to do with all the child that's spitting out exactly.

And we do give hot takes on demand, like if you need a Dodger hot take, or the Rams or the Chargers or the Tennessee Titans or the Indianapolis Colts, we have them and they're absolutely free.

They're absolutely free.

And they have asked me to fill in more on that show, but I have had to turn it down. I hate doing it, but the reality is I can't. I do the TV show on Thursday, so I can't do it then. And on Wednesday, that's the big day. We have meetings for the TV show and I, you know, production stuff, so I can't really do that Wednesday. But Monday or Tuesday, maybe Friday, but we get the podcast, we do, you know, Friday, Saturday, So I don't.

All right, we have the word of the week, Danny, the word of the week.

Do three hours of sleep does not stop the word of the week.

Exactly.

The word of the week is a term that we use in sports, lame duck. Have you used the term lame duck when you're doing the boogie woogie?

Oh? Of course. Whenever a team's GM or owner comes out and gives the seal of approval on a coach, we say, aha, lame duck. Right there, that's a lame duck coach.

The lame duck with a lame duck. Well, here's let's get to the nitty gritty. So the expression lame duck actually originated in the seventeen hundreds and when it originated, when it originated, it meant a stockbroker who did not meet his debts, so someone that was playing the stocks and they.

Were doing some funny business.

And then that was in seventeen fifty five, so this goes back, you know, several hundred years, and then it turned over transferred to people in politics in the eighteen sixties and The explanation of lame duck is frequently applied, you know, mostly to politicians these days and sports, as Danny said, coaches managers like you could argue Brandon Staley with his decisions to go for it from their own twenty four yard line.

You know, that's you're kind of a lame duck.

But anyway, it was Occasionally it's been used why someone lost an election but has not yet, you know, left If somebody lose the election but they haven't lost, they haven't left office, like when President Trump lost the election and then Biden came in, but he hadn't taken over yet, that kind of thing. And here's it is interesting to note. I read that President Lincoln a quote attributed to President Lincoln.

In his day.

He wrote, a senator or representative out of business is a sort of lame duck.

He has to be provided for. And that that goes back.

It's from an antidote from eighteen seventy eight. So the word of the week is actually a combined two words lame duck, lame words.

With an ass. It's not lame. Joke of the week.

Words of the week we have not done. Safari Kingdom in a while I think we should do that. Why don't we do that?

What do you used to do? It's time for Ben Balards.

It's a fire Kingdom with Enny G Radio. All right, thank you, ohioal and a lot.

Of crazy animal stories. Could this be because there's a full moon? Could this be there was a full moon recently?

So do you hear the story about Momo the monkey?

No?

Okay, So in Indianapolis there was a twenty four hour police chase to track down mom the monkey. During the police chase, chugged beer broke into a home in the Greater Indianapolis area.

Momo unhinged.

A twenty four hour escapade pet monkey Indianapolis and Momo was safely taken back by his owner's brother. But this was a wild scene Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department running all over the place to try to track down Momo, which is it's.

A I don't know how to pronounce.

It, patas hat, this monkey, which is said to be the planet's fastest primate that can move up to speeds of thirty four miles an hour.

Yeah, man, yeah, I'm looking at it. This is this is not an attractive monkey. Okay, it's not. It's kind of. It's probably running away because people goof on it, call it ugly.

And all that.

But anyway, police will called out during the week this week and they there's a minor injuries. They said, an aggressive animal and then momo took off.

Momo on the run, and boy can momo run.

Looks like they have a unibrow that goes also around their head like black Kareem abdul Jabbar goggles on.

Yeah, that's a good call on the unibrow.

Yeah, and you would agree, Danny, this is not the most attractive monkey, right.

It's better looking monkeys out there than this this momo.

He has to show off his wheels to get the girl monkeys to be impressed.

Yeah yeah, yeah, need for speed, need for speed. Well, here's a fun story from the Safari Kingdom. And this comes out of our brothers and sisters in I believe this is in Where is it here? Australia. This is from ABC News Australia, which is the Australian broadcasting company and report their claiming that there was essentially a alligator orgy that was triggered by a military helicopter that buzzed over a crocodile farm in Australia. He say what, Yeah,

To get I guess kind of give a good look.

The low frequency emitted from the helicopter headed to the to the farm and the crocodiles. It was made it's mating season and I guess that was that. That was the sign, you know, chick a chickabow wow for the.

For the gators.

They were going for the crocodiles were like, hey, we're in here, and that triggered the pheromones and they went to Aligator poundtown.

They did. They went for it, gigy. That's funny.

That sounds like it's out of an nineteen eighties comedy, doesn't It Like some like crappy military guy who just wanted to look at alligators and he got too closed and the next thing you know, they're all, uh, they're all going for it. Man, What is what is next to Safari Kingdom? And someday Safari Kingdom will will go

Yeah, jocker, keep your doors closed. I do not go out side. Why's it got to be Oklahoma?

So Oklahoma? Who knew this?

I've been to Oklahoma before, and I don't recall hearing this before. I went to Oklahoma, a home to close to fifty species unique species of snakes that are native to the state, including venomous cotton mouse, rattlesnakes and all that. But there's one in particular, an invasive python that has caught the attention of the world.

And this is this is wild man, this story. It's the biggest.

They have the biggest python problem, stemming from people apparently who own pet pythons and don't know how to keep their python in line. They're bad python owners. And so this thing is floating around thirteen feet, huge, massive, you know, trailer park in Oklahoma. They were being told to keep their eye out for the albino python native to southeastern Asia.

So are you telling me a bunch of rednecks owned albinos.

Racist?

Well, that's what the story says, I don't know, man, but an albino python from Asia in Oklahoma.

Welcome to twenty twenty three. Welcome to twenty twenty three. And it made for a good story there in Safari Kingdom, it did.

Here's another good story out of the Twin Cities. The airport in Minneapolis, which is a really good airport. I gotta tell you, solid airport. They do the airport right there in Minneapolis. Anyway, a woman was a little dishevel here this week, Danny, because she had a box seized at the Minneapolis Airport. The box contained draft poop. Yeah, draft shit was in the box, and the woman had

They said what is that?

It's draft poopy And she was planning on making a necklace.

She was going to make a necklace out of the draft poop.

Did she get the giraft poop out of zoo?

Well, she was coming back from Kenya, so maybe there's just draft poop all over.

Oh gotcha, I.

Don't know, but uh.

Anyway, she returned and then there was an inspection from the the Agriculture community there.

Did you bring any fruits or vegetables or seeds with you? No, I brought a bag of ship.

Yeah yeah, Oh, and there's a there's even a photo of the bag of ship. And it just looks like normal ship. It doesn't look like special ship. It's like little ship balls. And and anyway, she was gonna make a nice necklace.

What a lovely woman.

She must be just wonderful. Is that good luck or something you think?

Is that like, I've never heard of a giraffe shit necklace before.

Yeah, animal feces from Kenya could contain, among other things, African swine fever that sounds like fun, classical swine fever, Newcastle disease, foot in mouth disease, and swine vesticular disease, according.

To experts, I'm a doctor. There you go.

A veterinary services permit is required if you're planning on bringing draft shit to the US, so be warned here. All right, I'll do We'll do a couple more. Actually, well, this is this is the perfect kind of story for either Safari Kingdom or when you do animal Thunderdome.

This is just so good.

This comes out of Taiwan, right, This is the perfect way to put the baby to bed, if you will. So in Taiwan there was a bit of a wild ride. This this sounds also like a comedy movie from back in the day Danny g a plane from Bangkok to Taiwan had a tough had a tough trip because it turns out a uh and and this sounds like I'm lying, But according to report, I'm not a rat, and an otter had been smuggled aboard the plane and got loose in the main cabin in the middle of the flight.

I saw this story.

That great. So there's a pet rat and it's uh running around. It's got like a white body racist.

I mean, that is just that is it was an albino rat. It bit the hand in one of the airplane crew members. And that's where do you hide I know where you can hide a rat because it's not that big.

But in the order.

That's wild anyway, right, we'll get out of that. It is Friday again for me. I'm off the radio today. I obviously got the podcast here with you. And then we have TV all over NBC Sports Affiliates distributed by NBC Universal to all the regional cable networks.

So check that out.

We'd love to have you watch NBC Boston seven thirty, Philadelphia, six thirty, Chicago, six thirty Local time Chicago, and in the Bay Area in San Francisco NBC Sports Berea at six o'clock. Danny, you're doing the radio thing right. It is the end of your week today on the radio, right.

Yeah, and really quick, let me back up to last weekend, Ben, as you requested, I checked out a couple of the sports books. Tomorrow on Saturday's podcast, I'll tell you about the first bet I've ever placed. But I paid attention to the screens and even talked to one worker at one of the sports books, and he said that when the NBA season starts, that's when they'll start playing the Laker channel.

Nice.

Yeah, so your big face is gonna be on those big screens as soon as the Lakers season gets underway.

That is awesome.

I might have to make a special trip to Vegas just so I can nerd out, just nerd out and look at that.

Look does me?

No, I'll wear my uniform, my Benny versus the Penny uniform. I'll just sit there and I'll.

Be like, oh, look at that man. All right, But Covino and Rich, Right, Covino and Rich.

Yeah, this afternoon, we're gonna torture Rich and make fun of him for his bad pick against the Chicago Bears there and especially him slamming DJ Moore.

They're gonna win, and then they're gonna say we were extra inspired, we did it for the fans, and then we're gonna play the clip tomorrow and make you eat your words. You think DJ Moore is gonna all of a sudden start catching passes because I'm just saying sports, we live for great stories and sports, and we see it.

All the time. It's like a script. It's like a movie. For all we know.

They can come out and play the game of their lives tonight. No day he passed, Yeah, I'm a day he passed. Then it's a nice story for everybody. I'm just saying, you never well, I'm going commanders to win the game.

He's going to have to make an official national apology to have one. DJ More That is two to four pm on the West Side and five to seven pm in New York City.

Have a great day today. We've got fresh podcast all weekend long. Here The Life of Malor and Danny g on Saturday. Saturday, Saturday, and I think one of our iconic bits, I think we've created a new iconic bit, so that'll be on the Saturday podcast. Got the Mailbag on Sunday. Have a great Friday. We'll talk to you next time.

Later, Skater got a murder.

I gotta go.