The Fifth Hour: Hobgoblin

We're worried about the show today. Normally we start out with some dope holidays and all that, but I'm not gonna even bother with that. We have the Hobgoblin, hobnob awaken, the beast, foody fun, the phrase of the weekend. Who knows what else we'll get to, but we'll start with this the Friday Special. Friday Special. Is it true? Is it true that an unexpected visitor stop by the Overnight Show just hours ago? Just hours ago? That would be

one thousand percent true. So we start out the new weekend of the podcast looking back at a snaff who heard round the audio world if you were with me on the Overnight Show, the Friday Overnight Show, you heard the thing of a jig, that snap that wasn't supposed to snap, that the watcher mccollet, that didn't really work out. So exclusive details. Nobody else has these details. None of the other other networks, none of the podcaster Joe Rogan doesn't have it. None of the people that do these

podcasts have it. We're the only pod that has this information. The rest of the story. As the late great Paul Harvey would say, you know what the news is, but now you're about to find out the rest of the story. This is must consume content for the p Ones and the Malon militia. I'm talking about alf the Allen, Pineter, ferg Dog and all the rest, Kathy and Madison, all of them. So working from the remote studio. We have

the world's changed since COVID. So we do the show from the main studio most of the time, but occasionally during the week we will broadcast from the remote studio, which is located at the Malor Mansion, yapping away in the middle of the night. Happens to be the studio that I'm in right now. So in the rant that I was doing in hour now very three hour three,

So this is the four am Eastern hour. This is the one am Pacific hour, ranting poetic about Bill Belichick and his young Fluozy and the latest on them having a best selling book. Well, Belichick having a best selling book, and I was building up to a crescendo. I thought it was very funny that Bill Belichick wrote a book

and is promoting the book. And the reason the book is now a New York Times bestseller is because many of the people going to buy the book believe they're going to get some kind of amazing details on Bill Belichick and his young late friend, when that is not the topic of the book. So I'm building up to this, right, I'm building up to this, I'm setting it up. I'm laying the groundwork, and of course you want to know everything I have to say about the creative muse of

Bill Belichick. So I'm doing my thing, building up to the great quote from W. C. Fields, who said, you can fool some of the people some of the time, and that's enough to make a decent living, which is a kin what Belichick's doing here, suckering people in to get the book, thinking they're going to hear all this tabooed, tawdry stuff about old dude, young woman, and no, so

you don't. You don't get that anyway. So as I am doing this rant, I get a text on the malorphone and it says something like you're off the air line dropped. You're off the air line dropped. And my immediate reaction is, oh, this is probably a joke. I know we're into May. It's a l April Fools joke. And so I off to my left in the studio.

I have all the equipment in the remote studio that connects me to wherever I need to be connected, and there's a decent amount of stuff in here that I purchased I actually bought all this stuff in the remote studio. If you've been with the show all on time. I was doing some fill in work at WEI in Boston, and I did it remote most of the time, and so I built a studio out in twenty seventeen. I

guess it was twenty seventeen. So that was the year the pro cheated in the World Series, and Rob Manford, the commissioner of Major League Baseball, thought, Oh, that's no big deal. It's just to hunk a metal. We'll protect them. So I built a studio in twenty seventeen. I've moved all the equipment for the studio since then. I've moved to a new humble abode during that time, anyway, So I have all this stuff in here, and off to my left, I have the equipment that tells me whether

I'm connected. It's really just a series of lights that connect me. So I look over and if it's a green light, I'm connected. And if it's not a green light, or if it's a red light, something has gone terribly wrong. And I look over in my periphial vision, thinking that this was fake, and I do not see the green light. I don't see the red light. I see no light, and I'm like, oh boy, Well, it turns out that this was not some kind of rogue gremlin attack. There

was no gremlin attacked. Instead, the FSR Mothership had a hiccup the hob goblin hob knob if you will, those hob goblins. The goblins attacked the Sherman Oaks studios of the Ben Mathers Show. And as we like to say, the show must go on. You just got to keep going, right. We fought the attack of the hobgoblin. We bludgeoned several hobgoblins. It was like playing whack a mole with the hob goblins. But you have to roll with the dice that land wherever the dice land, and the show turned out to be.

I thought it was all right. I thought it was pretty good. Some parts of it were great. My favorite parts of last night show because we just did last Night Show, so that's what I'm thinking of. Pam and Seattle loved the call. Pam and Seattle called up and she agreed to take the oath. She wanted to take the oath. She then was so flustered she couldn't handle the oath. She did not pass the oath. We had to fail, Pam. You can hear that on the podcast.

And I'm pretty sure that was a bit because Pam and Seattle, very calm, professional woman, not like the people that normally call the show, and she's a classically trained musician like Inka Terra and a very nice woman. She would not do that unless that that punk inca terror had her do that. So I enjoyed. I enjoyed Pam's phone call. I thought that was good. Charlie totally flamed out on his call from Dallas, the Charlie from Dallas.

And then we had hollering James, a vintage hollering James throwback call where he was just snoring, and it wasn't agony, it was joy. It was joy listening to him snore. Meg My god, was that great? So anyway, that was the hobgoblin hobb now now turning the page on that to page two. And once upon a time, a couple days ago, that's right, Once upon a time, a couple of days ago, a slapstick comedy broke out. Not on radio, no, no, no, not on radio. It was not on television. It was

not a concert, It wasn't a lot of palooza. It was a Vaudvillian event that very few people know about, and I will share that with you right now. So it's started out simple enough, as most stories do. It was just a casual event and one thing led to another. So following the radio show, I made the long trek back to the north Woods. This was when I was in studio, So I made my way back, and following the radio show, I put my bags. I have two bags I take with me. I put them down. I

got a thing of water. I then got my headphones that I use and a couple of items, and I went to the dungeon at the Malor Mansion. Went down to the dungeon, which is not a basement because they don't have basements in California. It's a literal dungeon. So I went into the dungeon. I decided I was going to hop on the treadmill. I said, you know what I need. I need to be productive. Let me hop on the treadmill and I'll knock out a little workout. Why not? So I hopped on the treadmill in the dungeon,

not bragging. The thing was real fixed. It was down for like three years A gentleman came over cost us an arm and a leg. But the treadmill is not working. So my goal is ten thousand steps today. My goal often is a lot more than that. My goal often is close to twenty thousand, but I try to get a minimum of ten thousand. So remember I'm here at the Malar you know, Malar Mansion. My my pal Moxie is holding down the fort, the mascot of the Malar Militia.

She's on the sofa and this is her throne. This is where she hangs out. She cannot be bothered to go into the dungeon. She does not want to hang out with me. While I'm on the treadmill. She looks down upon me and my dog Moxie working out. So Moxie is so lazy. How lazy is she? She's so lazy. I'm glad you asked. Moxy is so lazy that if you have a bulldog, I'm guessing they're all like this. I just I've never had a bulldog before. Moxie so as she is. She's so lazy. She doesn't even move

her body when you enter the room. I've had dog that would run and try to jump through Bella, the old dog we had Bella. We'll try to run through the freaking door to get you. Knew that you were on the other side of the door, and we try to literally run and jump like some kind of matador, like ill Matta door and the bull trying to get through the door. So Moxie is the antithesis of that. She's the complete opposite of that. And she's so lazy. She will not move her body when you're in the room.

She moves her eyeballs, and sometimes she's so lazy she will not even move her eyeballs, so like track you with her eyes. So this was just your normal night again once upon a time, a couple of days ago. And I'm doing my routine on the tread. I'm not really running, but I'm not walking. I guess that's jogging. I guess it's called fast walking. Whatever you want to call it, I don't care. So I'm doing that. And I did a decent amount of time. I put some

audio on. I was listening to something podcast asked or something. And then after about forty five minutes, I said, you know what, I got to answer a call. I'm not doing a talk show. I had to answer the call. And so I had to answer nature's call. So I paused the treadmill. I headed to the powder room. As they say in Canada, Oh come, we'll be in Vancouver. Coming up man, less than two weeks from today. We will be in Vancouver. Cannot wait, Mouther meet and greet

Canadian style. Anyway, so I decided I had to go bathroom. My body told me I had to go bathroom. So I made my way out of the dungeon, and Justin and Cincinnati tells me Robbie the Mariner fan lives in the dungeon. Anyway, So I made my way out of the dungeon. I walked up some stairs, then down a hall, and then down a different set of stairs. And as I was walking in this room, I saw Moxie who was sleeping. And again no acknowledgement. It's in the dark.

And of course I'm such a loser. I was like, I don't want to I did not want to wake up Moxie. I did not want to wake her up. Yeah, so maybe she'll wake up if I turned the lights on. So I went over to the to the powder room, to the bathroom, and I made my way to the crapper, crap on, crap off the crapper. So I took care of business, and then I had to reverse the trip in the dark, so I made sure to flush. I

washed my hands in the dark. So I go out and I walk and it's a normal walk, nothing really interesting. I walked back up the stairs down to the to the left, and now I go down another set of stairs and then I go down into my dungeon and I'm on my way. So as I was making this trip, about midway through, I started smelling something that didn't really smell proper, smelled a little foul, so I thought, but it must be Moxie. Moxie must have let one ript

flashlens for Moxie. Bulldogs are known to have a lot of gas, so I didn't think much of it. I kept going and going and going, and I kept smelling it. And it turns out that Moxie had decided that she needed to go to the bathroom and she couldn't make it out in time, and so she went poopy in the Houseye And as the famous line goes, watch that last step, it's a doozy. It is a doozy, And it was so here I am very proud of myself. I'm like, oh, I'm getting some exercise. I'm being a

grown up, you know, being an adult. I just had a big birthday. People tell me I'm old.

want to put dog shit in the kitchen sink. And I was like, I go to the bathroom and use the sink there, but it's the same concept we wash our hands there. I don't know if I want that, so I, ah, you know, I'll just go out in the back and I'll turn on the hose. I'll go behind the mallor mansion, and I'll turn on the hose and that'll be that. Yay, it's the middle of the night. It's pitch black. Everyone's sleeping. I'm awake, Moxie is sleeping.

So I go down outside. I go around to where the hose is, and again, this is just all going on in the span of you know, a short amount of time. Moxie is so unbothered by the situation. She decides, I'm not getting up. You know, I'm good, I'm I'm not doing that. So I go out and I take the shoes off, and I turned the hose on and

I rinse away the Moxie waste off the sneakers. And as I am doing this, and it's only been about twenty seconds since I started deciding to wash the sneakers because I need them, all of a sudden I hear this galloping and this barking from a distance, and I'm like, what the F is that? Now? It turns out the rest of the story, our friend Moxie my pal. I spend almost every night during the week enjoying the company

of Moxie. She keeps me company. My wife works as well, so she's not around and I'm with mox We're enjoying ourselves. And so it turns out that galloping I heard was Moxie who went from zero to hero. She was into hero mode, clearly triggered in a paste by Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea. The Moxie that we knew that was sleeping, that is so lazy, she would not move her anything more than her eyeballs. It turns out we awoken the beast. We did. We awoken the beast,

and so now here we are. I mentioned this was a Vaudvillian comedy, more like The Three Stooges, which is Vaudvillian old comedy Troupe Three Stooges. So it's the middle of the night. I'm now standing outside barefoot holding a shoe covered in shit Moxie muffins full of crap ole. I'm washing the shoe off. Behind me is Moxie, who is waking up all of the neighbors of the Malor mansion in a time that is not a time to be awake for most. She's then turning her attention to me.

She's trying to attack me. Well, not really. She wanted to get to the source of the water, so the goal was to get to the source of the water. I was in between the source of the water and Moxie, so I've got my shoes covered. I've got water now everywhere because of the hose. I've got Moxie trying to attack the water, ready to fight to the death, ready to fight to the death. And just another night, just

another random night in paradise. God, it was. It was like I couldn't go back on the treadmill because the shoes were covered in the crap. And then I got the crap off of Maxie. Was Moxie was of upset. Now. My mistake, the fatal mistake I made, was I left the door open, because that got the wheels in motion. I left the door open because I assumed, like a dumb ass, that my dog Moxie would just stay asleep.

I didn't think we were going to have a turf war between Moxie and the Greek god of the sea Poseidon. I did not expect that to happen. I figure, well, she's sleeping, the host doesn't even make that much noise. There's no way this is gonna end up in a bad situation. And sure enough, it ended up in a bad situation. So that was. That was one of the tales I am promoting ahead, my man, you gotta tease mam man you gotta tease, all right, So tomorrow I'm

gonna save all the wedding stories. Danny produces the spot, but he's not with me on Friday, is really much anymore at all. So I'll save some of that stuff to Saturday, because I Danny's been to a lot of like weddings and stuff. And I was at a wedding last weekend and I saved a couple of stories. One of them, one of the five funniest moments I've had in my life, happened at that wedding, and I will share that with you tomorrow. We'll go down that road,

will go off the beaten path. Is that a good tease getting people to listen to a story about a wedding? I don't know that that's a good teast that will be going on tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow's another day. Time out for some food he fun, all right, for food he fun. That's right, it's food he fun. So the Foody Fund these are different food items. Various food items that we have discovered are either on sale or there's new items out.

For example, Krispy Kream, Krispy Kreme, they're everywhere, not as everywhere as they used to be, but that Krispy Cream is all over the place. Well, they have debuted in honor of pac Man and the video game pac Man's

forty fifth birthday. Man, I'm older than pac Man. Holy crap. Anyway, Chrispy Kream is celebrating Krispy Kreme is celebrating Pacman's forty fifth birthday, and they have teamed up with the owner of the pac Man brand and they are now hawking pac Man Donuts a pac Man donut donut collection which started this week four four days ago. They have the pac Man Party Donut, the original glazed donut covered with yellow butter cream flavored iceling, top with celebration sprinkles, and

finished with a pac Man piece. They have the Team Ghost Donut that is unglazed with chocolate flavored cream, dipped in black icing, decorated with a classic pac Man maize, and top with a Team Ghost piece. And then you have Strawberry powder Berry Donut that's a mouthful unglazed shell donut filled with strawberry flavored cream, top with red icing, and finished with white sprinkles. So all this available, and

there's even more. They have a Light Hot Light donut giveaway and Strawberry Glaze Challenge is that started May twelfth. It goes through the end of the weekend. On Sunday, they claim they will hand out a total of forty five thousand free original glazed donuts and hot light hours seven to nine am and five to seven pm. So you got that. I mean there's other promotions there, but the whole point of is they're going to have the pac Man. They have it right now, the Pacman Donut

collection Pan Express. I used to be a big Pan Express guy. Every Christmas I would eat Panda Express because it was the only thing open. So Pan Express launched a new Chili Crisp Chicken featuring Mike's Hot Honey in select markets. So if you're into pand Express, you can have a big day, big day there at Pan Express. What Marcus is it? I you did to say what markets are? Right? So this item is available on Albuquerque, Atlanta, Chicago,

Sweet Home, Chicago, Houston, Las Vegas, and Santa Fe. So you can get your hands on the new item at Panda Express. The new Chili Chris Chicken does seem a litt odd The cities that were chosen medium sized cities like Las Vegas I guess it's bigger than that. Now, massive cities like Atlanta, Chicago, and Houston, and then you have Albuquerque and Santa Fe seems rather odd to me. But I don't work for I don't work for them. I do not What else do we have on foody fun?

Denny's has introduced the new Red, White and Berry Pancake Slam, alongside the new Bacon Ranch Cheeseburger and Cookie Dough Lovers Pie. Hello, sign me up for some of that Cookie do Lovers Pie. I'm in, I'm in now. I realized that this next item. Half of the country has Hearty's, half of the country has Carls Junior. So I'm not sure if these deals apply at Harty's. I know at Carl's Junior they have welcome back the Sour Dough Star. O MG, the Sourdough

Star is back on the menu at Carls Junior. Yeah, that's right now, available in a triple size. Thank god, my prayers have been answered. Carls Jr. Also launched a five ninety nine build your Own Bag byob deal Carls Jr. Allowing you to customize your meal nationwide. Debut five ninety nine Build Your own bag at participating locations. What's in the bag? What you ask me? What's in the bag?

What do you think is in the bag? So available during late night hours from eight pm to closed daily byob Bring your own bag includes a four piece Chicken Star. They're still making those Chicken Stars, your choice of a main entree, cal classic cheeseburger, spicy chicken sandwich, and a side of natural cut fries or onion rings, all for the retail price suggested at five ninety nine, which tells me these items are not big sellers that we're trying

to get inventory out. These are not big That's what that tells me. Maybe I'm wrong, Maybe mem wrong. Arbi's is testing a new flame roasted rotisserie chicken. Yeah, that's okay, That's not really something I'm into. But if you want The Avocado Chicken Club features flame roasted rotray, amocano zesty sauce, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a sub roll. They've got the Tuscan Chicken also available. So they've got three new items of the

Chicken Bacon Ranch. These items will are available are available trio of rotisserie chicken substyle sandwiches at arby Restaurants. Arby's Restaurants in Milwaukee, Little Rock, Arkansas, and Fort Wayne, Indiana. Hello our guy, America's favorite crossing garden Fort Wayne. Get out there and get your hands on these new sandwiches. No, you're not, probably not, probably not going to do that. Yeah, I got you. What else do we have? We can't

read that? Let's see our wingstop interesting, a new Mexican street spice flavor and twenty for twenty dollars deal. Okay, time now four. The phrase of the week. The phrase of the week. We use this on social media. Several of you said, oh, I don't know what that is? Did you make that up? Where'd you get that from? What's that mean? Including supermarket Steve and Ralph not recket Ralph.

This Ralph lives in Arizona, and so unless recket Ralph moved to Arizona and has become a podcast listener and a consumer that sends messages in probably not the same Ralph. So the phrase of the week is work like stink. The idiom work like stink, which originated in British England as opposed to the other British but it's originated in British English, and it is used to describe I think

you can figure this out. It's rather obvious. It's telegraphed to describe working extremely hard or intensely, or you end up having a little smell, right, you work like hell. It's a phrase similar to his work like hell, work like mad, and just kind of a way to enhance the language. The term stink is itself has been used since the early twentieth century. When someone works like stink, they are working with great effort and speed, likely a lot of sweating going on, which leads to bodily odors.

And it's an informal way of saying someone is working at a passionate level, very quickly and working like stink, which is a cousin of working like a dog from the nineteenth century and working like a horse. Of course, of course I've also heard working like an aux. I've heard that the original phrase go like stink, which is not the phrase that we used your work like stink, go like stink. That phrase means to move very fast. That's mid twentieth century, and they say that was the

precursor to the modern word that we're talking about. The phrase we're talking about here involving the stink, and it goes back to the nineteen fifties British novel Going like Stink. Working like Stink could also have been adapted. And so there ye go the phrase of the week which goes back to the nineteen hundreds and it is work like stink. Yeah, works so much you get a little sweaty. You need to take a nice shower. Just take a nice shower.

The Malord meet and greet. If you have not heard and you want to know about the details, we did a pod last week about it. We are going to have the meet and greet on Thursday, May twenty ninth. It's at the Court Side on Maine. That is two four one five Main Street, Vancouver, BC. Very excited. I have not really spent much time in Canada. I'm looking forward to meeting you if you're going to be out there, and you know, obviously if you not, I can't meet you.

I'm able to do a zoom chat. But it's gonna be a lot of fun. I'm really excited about it. And if you do come out to the meat and greet, let us know because we're going to hang out over the weekend in Vancouver. So kind of let us know what you think we would like to see, and not just me. I'll be there with Lorraine, I'll be there with Coop, We'll all be hanging out. So yes, kind of let us know what's going on and what you like and what you don't like, and what you think

we would like based on listening to the show. And I again want to thank Nico and he's been so so kind to put this together and beat boots on the ground. He's very proud of his location. He loves the show and he's a regular listener, and so I'm excited about that. So the Malor Meet greet again Thursday of the twenty ninth, court Side on Maine, Vancouver. We're flying in that day, assuming there's no glitches, we'll be

there at six thirty or seven till ten. You're gonna have a great time doing that anyway, Take care, have a wonderful rest of your Friday. Will have fresh pods and amazing stories from the weekend. That was the wedding, that was you gotta hear these. We'll get to those on tomorrow's pod. Have a wonderful day and we'll catch you then later. Skater Asta pasta something like that. Did I do that right, Danny? No, I'm not doing it again. Nope, nope, No, gotta murder. I gotta go.