Kubbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the a Everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me big Man and Danny g Radio. It is our Sunday Sunday Sunday podcast. The final day we've been ado to the month of June. It is June thirtieth, as my wife's birthday carnival continues. This is the main event, Danny. Today is actually my wife's.
Birthday, the actual birthday.
Yes, we've already had a two weekends of birthday celebrations, but this is the crowning moment here today. And it is also it is Social Media Day today, Danny, so please celebrate appropriately on social media, which is the continuation of modern communication from the telephone, fax machine and now
social media. And at last report, Danny, the average consumer spends one hundred and forty four minutes every single day on the socials one hundred and forty four minutes a day of their life every day on the social lid.
What was that stat we had on the podcast about how many times we pick up and check our phone?
Oh yeah, I don't It was in the hundreds, right, yeah, yeah, people are checking. They figure that out. It's like it's like the casino. You go back because you want to get that hit of dopamine because people are reacting to what you posted. They're liking your pictures, they support your comment, or they respond on and so you keep going back.
Right, our wives are messaging us we need to talk.
Hey, yikes, yeah, we need to have a little talk. So the social media, the first social network was created in the nineties. The first super computer was in the nineteen forties. It was the size of a blimp. But in the late nineties, the first social network was created. I always think of the first social media as America Online. That's what I think of when I think of the first social media.
But you know what I think of Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the original one. Remember when they go to the computer to try to figure out where the Golden tickets are hid. I am now telling the computer exactly what you can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate with the spinning reels. Yeah, yeah, that's that's what our grandparents thought a computer was.
You know what you get in you get it old take it, you get a golden take.
You get nothing. You lose good dayser.
You get nothing, and you will be happy that you get nothing at all. Yeah. The the community. It's like cell phones. I saw I was on speaking of social media, I was on Instagram putting something on there the other day and this thing popped up. It got on my algorithm and it was a commercial for the first cell phones. This goes back to the late this maybe mid eighties to buy it radio shack and it was thirteen hundred
dollars and it was seemed outrageous. Thirteen hundred dollars. Now today the cell phone and iPhone, when you if you depending on what you get, it's actually not that far away from thirteen hundred dollars. But back then that was a ridiculous amount of money. With inflation, it would be like four thousand dollars or something like that. Oh my gosh, in today's money. And they were like phone books, they were bricks, they were big burly things, the original cell
phones and not. But as far as social media, Facebook went live, created by well, created by a couple of twins and stole them by Mark Zuckerberg according to the Internet and two thousand and four. Twitter started a few years after that or now it's x and then years after that, TikTok came around. I'm oldings remember my Space when that was a thing. YouTube was created in twenty five so that was that was a big, a big deal.
So we have National Social Media Day today, get on the Twitter, and then in March we have National Day of Unplugging, or people for twenty four hours are supposed to turn their phones off. Now, three point five billion people use social media. Sixty eight percent of the US population used Facebook, and the average per day on social media about about three out one hundred and forty four minutes every every single day. Five hundred million. That's the
number of people using Instagram stories each day. Sixty billion on the WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger. And I got all kinds of stats and numbers and all that.
There's so sevy crazy number about how many people are on Facebook. Because a few days ago, nobody was talking about the debate on Facebook.
Oh god, yeah, yeah, Well there really is no debate because it's one of those things if you liked something before, you're still gonna like it, and you're just going to attack the other other side. So it's like it's a futile event.
Yeah, And like you hate seeing your aunt arguing with a stranger or one of your friends about politics, Like, get off of Facebook. Now.
It's funny because I forget where I was, but I was having a conversation with a friend. His wife was there. We were talking about somebody that we both knew from years ago who had been on some panel during the Trump administration. He was on some advisory panel for President Trump, and just mentioning that name. I got a guffaw the shock from the person's wife, like, oh you mentioned Trump's name. It's like oh, I was like, well what am I? What am I supposed to not mention the name? I mean,
it was just very, very hard. But we have the mail bag, Danny, are you ready for the mail bag?
I know Trump is ready? Oh did I say his name? Trump is ready?
I really don't know what he said at the end of this, and I don't think he knows what he said either. Third rail. Mo man, that's a third rail. I'm gonna have to drug test you, third rail.
My man, my man, you just made the overall rating go down by one point.
My man, my man, it's broadcasting, not narrow casting. What's wrong with you? All right, let's get to it. Ohiou, it's tona, thank you, ohio. Wow. These are actual letters from actual listeners the show. If you would like to join the mail bag fund, send me a message Real fifth hour at gmail dot com. That's Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com, and you can play along on the mail bag. We may read your question. Make sure you put your name first and your city. The perfect
email message would be you know Mike from Chicago. Boom, here's the question. Sometimes what I get is no name, and then I have to just go by the email and you don't say what or you'll say your name and you won't tell me where you're friend. I'll just say from parts unknown. If you don't include your name, Dom who is in he says Fort Lauderdale adjacent? Hey, Ben and Danny, I love your guys shows, respectively. Question for you, Ben, what happens behind the scenes when a
caller curses on your show. I heard it a couple of times this past week. Well, thank you, Dom for listening and paying attention when people say bad words on the show.
First, we all scream and wring our hands.
What is supposed to happen, Dom, is you don't hear people cursing on the show. That is what is supposed to happen. Because we have these giant game show buzzers that are in front of us that we're supposed to press if somebody says a knotty word and all that. But every once in a while one slips past the goaltender, and normally what happens is there's a lot of finger pointing. There's a lot of denials, there's a lot of it ain't my fault, it's that guy's fault. It's a lot
of shoulder shrugs that take place. Uh, it's it's it's all. We had one this week, and to me, this is if you get in trouble for saying the S word. Come on, really, are people really getting in trouble Danny's saying the S word?
It is so outdated that one word, especially, and you know, I had a general manager come to my programming office one day and he's like, you know, this morning a shit an shi T He said he was a weenie. He's like an s h I T slipped out over on the air with one of your callers and I said, no, no, no. His dog was next to him and he said, sit, I don't think he bought it.
Uh No.
Well, the good news dom is the time we are on. I am the captain of the Safe Harbor. There is a provision. There's no such thing in the FCC. Oh, I've done my FCC training. I have done my FCC training. Not this year.
Yeah, forward forward forward exactly, but arrow forward.
But they have all these rules that US broadcasters are supposed to follow, the obscene, indecent and profane broadcast rules with the FCC.
And you never skip forward in those videos, right.
No, I am an honest employee who But Save Harbor means that when you're on late at night like we are, when normally kids and church going women are not listening, you are then able to have a little more leeway with the language that takes takes place on the radio. So we're we have a little more leeway. Now, Save Harbor is from ten pm to six am, and those are the hours during which broadcasts like those that we do,
commercial broadcasting transmits. You can transmit material deemed indecent for for the kids, for the kids, because it's the safe armor and that that was established by We talked about this actually on this show, the Supreme Court versus Supreme Court case FCC versus pacifica broadcasting company, and the FCC guardian is the guardian of the on air broadcast and all that. People don't understand though. Some cable television not guarded by FCC rules, so it's different on cable television
than over the air television. And podcasting is not governed by FC FCC rules. I'll bet you someday these Weasley politicians try to try to put podcasting under that umbrella.
All of US podcasters would come together and march against them.
Oh man, all, oh, they'd be outraged. They all, all the influencers would have their their videos right there at Capitol Hill. Thank you. Dom Ozzie Waz writes in from Western Australia, it's says my mates Big Ben and Microphone Throttler Danny g A quick fun fact about Australia.
The microphone throttler.
Ozzi Was lives out in Western Australia. He says, you can fly from Perth to Melbourne faster than you can fly from one end of Western Australia to the other. Well, that is kind of cool. Australia is a wild place to me. All the animals, the kangaroos, the weird, deadly animals. Is more deadly critters and creatures there than anywhere else, he says. Let me get to my question, Ozzie Was writes. He says, is there is? We have a direct flight, he says, from Perth, Australia to London, and that takes
about sixteen to eighteen hours to go from Perth to London. Wow, he says, So would you rather take a direct flight or have a stopover for a couple of hours and take the journey longer? That is from Ozzie Was. So I'm not a great person to ask. Ozzie Was, and this My longest trips on a plane are from the West coast of the US to Hawaii, which is like a five hour flight, or from the West coast to the east coast of the US like Boston, New York, Miami. Those type places, and that also on the way there
it's like a four and a half hour flight. On the way back it is a five and a half hour flight. So it's the longest I'm on a plane's like five and a half maybe six hours, unless there's mechanical issues of the plane. That's about it. So if you could figure out a way, Ozzie was to stop in a third country, like to go from Perth and let's say there's another country halfway to London, and then if you could actually spend like a couple of days checking that out, if you had the time, I think
that would be cool. But to just stop, I don't know that i'd want to do that. If I get on the plane, I'll take I'll take a sleeping pill or whatever, and then i'll get up when I have to get up and go and do my thing.
What about you, Danny sleeping pills. I'd need some Anna Nicole Smith's strength pills. To be on a flight longer than five and a half hour.
You need that. Michael Jackson set up then back of a day.
I'm like you, My longest flight's probably been six hours, right around the five and a half mark. I had a lot of anxiety. I wanted my feet down on solid ground. So yeah, I couldn't answer that either, because I don't think I could do a seven hour flight. To be honest with you, people who fly overseas, I don't get it unless they have some drugs or alcohol or both in their system.
I'm on drugs right now. Man. Not looking forward to at some point in the next few years, I am going to be dragged across the Atlantic to Europe. I know it's gonna happen, so I have to repare myself. I know I'll have a good time when I get to Europe. I think it'll be great, and I'm excited about seeing places I've not been to and learning about different cultures and things that I've seen on television and the Internet and all that. But the concept of going there, I am not looking.
I'd rather take a boat, the way my Garadelli relatives got here in the first place.
Yeah, just go. What's on the boat?
Natcho's the lemonheads my dad's boat. You won't got down floats.
Get on the boat, all right. Ryan from Shrewsbury writes in In Massachusetts. He says, Ben and Danny, I try to send you guys an email every week, but college and me rescuing a puppy, it has been hectic, he says, with that in his life, my question this week is my mom works on the twelfth floor in a Wooster, mass hospital, and this week, if she looks down the window, out the window there they are filming the new season
of The Walking Dead. But that it's super fun for me, Ryan says, because I live in a small town in Massachusetts, so seeing these big stars is wicked cool. Just to prove he's actually from the Commonwealth. Since you guys live in Los Angeles, have you ever stumbled upon a film set Some of my favorite shows based in southern California Sons of Anarchy, Mayan's MC, and Snowfall, He says, I don't know if those ring a bell to you. Yes, Sons of Anarchy does those other ones. It's a constant
thing here, Ryan, around LA. When I lived in I lived in Hollywood for a while, which is not as sexy as it sounds. It's not. It's actually pretty nasty. And then I lived in Lincoln Heights in LA and I would see people shooting films all the time, and movies. I actually lived right across in Lincoln Heights on Avenue twenty six, there's a little hidden movie studio, small studio,
but a film like Star Trek. Some episodes of Star Trek they had a couple of they had like New York street scenes kind of there, like grizzly back lot type things. Yeah, and so there and been lucky enough. I worked at Universal Studios. We did our TV show last year from Universal Studios, so that was cool. And Fox Sports Radio when Fox Sports Radio started Danny, we had studios on the Fox lot and we had free reign. I have so many fun memories of my early years
at Fox Sports Radio. I was not good at radio, but we had studios in on the Fox lot, and so sometimes we'd go to Sherman Oaks, where we still have studios, and other times we'd go to the Fox lot and we had free rein. We had a access pass ryan to the Fox lot and we'd go all over the Fox lot and I would take friends that would come in out of town and we'd just walk around the New York skyline, the cutouts of the buildings and the different sets that they had back on the
Fox lot. And you know why that all ended Danny, you know when that came to.
An ed, you guys brought some of the Sherman Oaks cockroaches to their lot.
Close September eleventh, September eleventh, twenty oh one. I was actually at the Fox lot that day and that was the end of it.
Wow, they took all your passes away.
Well, they just cut off the axis. You had to stay in the building where the Fox Sports headquarters were, where the Fox building was. You could not go else on elsewhere on the LOTOO. And I still remember they had a obstacle course, a zigzag to get into the lot. To go to the security get you had to go through all these cones and it was wild. But that was the end of it. But Danny, we see these things, right, these movie shoots all over the place.
Yeah. Back in my hip hop programming radio programming days, I was invited to several video shoots for rappers. So it was like a pool scene with all these big booties all over the place. Look at herbet alas and alcohol all over the place, and catering trucks and producers and runners and the whole thing. It was cool to see how it all worked from behind the scenes. And then when I lived on Hollywood Beach, which is Oxnard Shores in the nineties, when they were still filming Melrose
Place at the end of that show's run. There was a character on the show, doctor Michael Mancini, and his beach house that they would always show the outside and the inside of in different scenes. The beach house was right across the street from me, so whenever there were a lot of cars on the street and trucks and I saw the catering truck, I'm like, oh, they're filming Melrose Place again. So anytime they had a scene at doctor Mancini's house, it was on my block.
That's awesome.
I even went to the catering truck and pretended like I was working on the set one time. True story.
Now come on, that's craft Services, Danny right.
Crafts Services, And I remember getting some really good try tip.
Is that right? That's cool. Uh. I've seen this a few times driving on the on the highways around here and sometimes just around the streets of LA when they're doing a car scene but the cars on like a flatbed. Uh yeah, you know what I mean, and somebody's like pulling the car. It's not they're not actually driving the car.
And then they have a camera in front, they have a camera on the side, and you'll be driving on the freeway and they'll be they'll be actors in the car and they're recording whatever, but they're not actually driving the car. They're pretending to drive the car, and they have light lighting people. It's a whole hole to do as you would imagine it would be. And you got the follow crew, you get the people ahead the whole thing.
And so anyway, thank you, thank you, Ryan. Next up Cincinnati, Tommy writes and says, hey, Benny and Brazen, Benny the Brazen and Danny g a longtime listener, huge fan. Ben. I heard you say that you'd like lorrain Ah to record and play more drops. It is the Ben Mallard Show, not the lorrain Ah Show. You must issue the mandate, Benny, I miss them. I thought Lorrainy did better this week.
She works some more drops in anyway, says he misses them. Also, I think you should change the name of the Mallard Riddle of the Day to Big Ben's brain Teaser.
I have a huge basketball iq.
Foe drizzle. I don't know what do you think Danny, I kind of like the malar riddle of the day, Benny big Ben's brain teaser. Well, that has the same ring to it. I could replace the fun facts with big Ben's brain teaser.
Sounds eighties.
Eh, oh, we don't do eighties. That's forty years. Can you believe the eighties is forty years ago? Danny?
Yeah, we're not rocking magnum p I mustaches anymore.
Wow, miamivice, No, Miami Vice cheers. No, you old man man, all right, thank.
You, we're clean shaving. Ted Danson over here.
Thank you, Cincinnati, Tommy Blind Jake writes in he called in this week. He said, that is why I don't call into radio shows. You can have a piffy thought or comment but not know when to cut in to make the point. Eddie and the WNBA, he says, Lol.
You should have seen that coming.
Yeah, we'll still how dare you will still be out your way in a couple of weeks. The wife has albinism. And every other year there's a conference in Garden Grove. That is a very random place to have a conference.
That's not that far from where the seventy five tons of fireworks were confiscated. Did you see that story? Millions and millions of dollars in illegal fireworks. Three southern California residents were arrested. Man, seventy five tons.
That's just the tip of the tip of the spirit, Danny, Right, you and I both know. On the fourth of July, which is coming up this week, Oh man, it is going to be Oh it turns sane, it turns into kuwait. Yeah, yeah, it's you're you're living at Disneyland. It's the Disneyland fireworks show. But everyone on every cul de sac and every block in southern California. It was a couple years ago in twenty twenty, during the pandemic. It was like Fallujah. It
was insane. Here's a fun fact though, blind Jake, if you want to impress your your wife, albinism, Now, I believe that's the that's the condition where you have no hair, right, no no color in your skin, no hair like eyebrows, hey, the whole thing. I believe that's it, right, Am I correct? I think I'm right on that. Well, that's it if albinism is. If I'm correct, it's There was a guy that was the pr director for the Clippers who was
a friend of mine. He's not with the Clippers anymore, but he had that what is still wrong with the clippers. A guy named Rob, great guy, and he was the head of pr for the clips for years and so he suffered from that and eventually just stopped wearing the wigs and all that just went for it.
Says it's an inherited condition that leads to someone having very light skin, hair and eyes.
I also had the late Mark Smith from the old Ben and Dave show, and Mark was a scary mofo, but not because of that, but he happened to have some of that some of that condition. So anyway, he said, you tell you talked me out of things planned. But the wife sent me an article for a dog sculpture pissing on the museum. Would they frown on me having
my guide dog piss on the pissing dog sculpture. I'm asking for a friend that will be trying your poutine place on the evening of the eleven All right, Well, blind Jake, I didn't quite understand what the hell you were talking about in this email, but I read it anyway, And if you want to come by the studio and see the studio blind, Jake, let me know, and if it works out, we have the remote studio, which I use part of the week, and we have the main studio,
which is where I'm not going to invite you to my remote studio because that would be a little creepy, be a little odd.
I can't wait to have him feel the Casey case I top twenty sign.
It's a legendary sign. It's on the iconic signs that we have.
That is that's upcamp for And I got to talk about a frog die. Oh God.
Moving on. Mike in moving ahead but keeping it old school Fullerton rites in on the mail bag and he says, hey, Ben and Danny, g the fourth of July is almost here, fellas to celebrate. Would a couple of proud, red blooded Americans like you guys rather see a fireworks show or one of those lame mass drone shows. That's what's called leading the witness. The way he asked that question, Danny, I believe that's leading the witness. But I know I'm
old school. I like fireworks. I'm all about the fireworks, and not even the safe insane fireworks. I want those we just talked about it. I want the Disneyland kind of fireworks where they the whole sky is lit up. That's what I want.
Yeah, yeah, I mean when they go off around the clock for weeks at a time, that's overboard. But when it's one day of the year. In fact, a couple of years ago, I took my better half to Redondo Beach, got a hotel that was right across the street from where the city was shooting the fireworks off. So we got to see the blast off, you know what I mean, the flames and the smoke and everything. At the point of takeoff. We got to see the fireworks. It was amazing.
That's awesome. That's great. No, I love big fires My mom My mom was a big fireworks fan. She would she would always go to Disneyland, but not actually in the park. She'd park across the street from Disneyland. She knew the parking lot. You park at and you get you get the Disneyland fireworks show without having to pay for Disneyland.
Way back in the day, I had a girlfriend who did that same move hotel in Anaheim for the Fourth of July so that we could sit in the hot tub and watch the fireworks from across the Street.
Nice.
Those are money saving women, right.
Yeah, I know for sure. All. I thank you our friend Mike who loves Fullerton. He should be the mayor of Fullerton. Mike the mayor of Fullerton. Alf from the portals d in the Atlantic, right, since says Ben, based on your recent comments on the Fifth Hour about that and on the live air, when can we expect your new conspiracy alien hollow flat Earth podcast aful person beside it? You never know, Alf, you never know. I used to
listen to Art Bell. I was a big Coast to Coast fan back back in the day, and I loved it. And I met George no Oy. We've had George on this podcast. By George, I could certainly talk about hob goblins and shape shifters and keemtrails. I can do that. I can break it down. I can talk about ozone layer issues and uh, what else do they talk about. I'm trying to think other topics on Coast. I don't know every whack a doodle thing you could possibly come
up with. I'm all for it. Every paranormal topic. I'd love to fill in on Coast to Coast if the company would let me. I think that would be a lot of fun.
One of your topics was going to be Land of the Lost, that secret world underneath the ocean.
Yes, yes, that's my theory. Danny, that's your jumper. There's a subculture of beings that are not humanoid, and they're not anything we know of, and they live at the very bottom of the Pacific and the Atlantic oceans and the other oceans of the world. And they come out of these portals and they fly up and they are studying us. We are the aliens to them. They all disappear back into the ocean. Yep, that's their home. It's like the bat cave, except it's ocean cave that they
go into. Kevin and Kansas right, since sys dear Ben and Danny g your current self can travel back in time and give your teenage self some good life advice, Kevin says, what would you tell your teen self? He's thanks for always working here for the listeners. Well, thank you for listening, Kevin. Yeah, we've gotten this kind of a question before. I would just tell my team self, don't don't panic. Everything will be okay. You can figure things out in broadcasting, because I was I was worried.
It wasn't gonna work out, and I would have to get a real job and just calm down, take.
Take a deep breath. I would be my teen self to invest in Amazon and Apple. That would also be good advice. That would be better advice than the advice I would give, which is just calm down. Yes, do that, And make sure when weed becomes legal you get a license to sell weed right away.
Yes, that would also be something I would tell my teen self. At some point it'll become legal, get in on that and you're good to go.
And don't bet on the Falcons to beat the Patriots.
Yeah, never never do that. That would be that would be a sake. And also if Tennessee plays Buffalo in a playoff game, make sure you avoid betting on the Buffalo Bills to win the game on the money line. Make sure you avoid doing that because there'll be an illegal forward pass by Kevin Dyson to Frank White check and that'll really screw you up.
The Lob City Clips are not gonna win a trophy, and.
The Lakers are going to become so pathetic they're going to hire a podcaster as their coach and draft a guy that averaged less than five points a game because his daddy plays for the team.
And they're gonna win four more championships. And by the time you're an adult.
And then they no, they have not won four championship. They have not won anything since Jerry Buss died. Go non zero. I love that the Lakers. How dare you? Nick? And wisconstant we'll get out on this. Nick in wisconsiou says I would buy some radio show or podcast shirts. Well, thank you, Nick. I have been talking to some people about some malor merch. I might have something which, if this happens, if this happens, would be affordable for everybody shirt.
And I will not say because I don't want to get people's hopes up in case it doesn't happen. But I'm working on something, and if it does happen, of course we'll promote it on this podcast, and it'll be a little some small because people can plain the shirts are really expensive now to make the shirts, and you know, I have people do this dan these items and so they have to make money on them and it caught the production. So it's expensive and people complain they're too expense.
So I'm trying to get an item that's affordable that's got the name of the show on it that we can have everyone have access to. So we'll see what happens with that. Nick. Anyway, Now, Nick says, I have been behind and listening to this podcast last couple of weeks, but as I send this, I have been binge listening all day as I clean, and I would like to defend myself. I Nick says, I helped you with the axe throwing. It was Kyle from Denver who put out
that video. Now this was at the Mermaid they had an axe throwing event. I was dragged into this and there was some out of context video that was put up to make me look bad.
Made your first pitch in Bakersfield look like a superstar performance. Dare you?
Anyway? Nick says, on to my question, would you rather get one free tank of gas per month or one free meal from your favorite restaurant once every other week? Remember, he says, I stood up for you or with you there, Ben, that's from Nick. So I would go with the gas. I would go with the gas, although depending on what restaurant you go to, it could be more value to go to the restaurant in terms of how expensive food is. These days, but gas if you had a free tank
of gas. It's only once a month though.
Yeah, but we both have to commute into the studio. Yes, so I think the gas would be more valuable for both of us.
Yeah, I would take the gas. I would take the guess, and I like eating. I'm really becoming old, Danny. I enjoy eating at home now more often than I do going to restaurants. I'm at that point in my life where I like to cook and just eat home cooked meals and I can get whatever I want, get larger portions, save a little money, make the Babegan nosh. I like all that. Yeah, I like all that. So but we'll get out on that. Have a wonderful rest of your Sunday.
I'll be back tonight hanging out with you on the radio. We have a full week of shows. I know some people are off this week because of the July fourth holiday, which is on Thursday, this coming Thursday, but I'll be I'll be here and Danny, I know you got a little different schedules.
Yeah, we're gonna be filling in for DP. We're going to be doing the Dan Patrick Show from six to nine am on the West Coast, and Coveno and Rich could be heard on the East Coast from nine to noon, filling in on the network for the Great Dan Patrick. Be getting up early, early, super early for me when we fill in on that show, I get up at three point thirty am.
Cock a doodle, dude, I need a cold shower. Early bird is the word all. I'll have a wonderful rest of your Sunday and I'll chat with you tonight on the Magic Radio Box. And thank you for supporting the podcast.
Later, Skater Gotta Murder, I gotta go