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The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard starts right now.
In the air everywhere.
The Fifth Hour with Me, Big Ben and Danny g a Happy Friday. Two years we slide on in to the last weekend here in the month of June. It's the twenty eighth day of the month. A bunch of random holidays, as always on every one of these days. But we're hanging out with you all weekend, no days off, no days off.
You hear me on the Overnight.
Show, the Original Recipe Pot cast Sunday through Thursday or Monday through Friday, depending on how.
You look at it.
But we're there every night, and Danny's on with Covino and Rich during the week and we form Voltron on the weekends here for the Fifth Hour podcast, and we're celebrating national to peak Tapioca Day to Peka the National Tapioca Day today. So I've never had anything other than tapioca pudding. What else do you eat with tapioca in it? Is there any other food related thing that tapioca is.
Part of, not that I'm aware of.
I've only known the pudding. I don't know anything else. I'm sure there's got to be something else. According to one story, I got a story in front of here, it says the boba, they used tapioca in boba.
You a big boba guy, never had it?
You've never had it? Where I live, kind of close to where I live, there's a boba. There's a couple of boba places, and there's always a line outside the boba places.
Yeah, I've seen all the different mob pop boba shops open up over the years, but it never looked good to me. That just the texture of it. It looks like a I don't know, like a fish egg.
Yeah, you know it does, but it I guess it depends where you're from or your background, because I never had I even know what boba was until a couple of years ago.
But the tapioca, now, tapioca pudding not bad.
That's a good pudding that's in the top five.
You killed it.
Do you have a big board of pudding?
Well, it's a list. I don't. I don't think we can do list.
I don't do a list. I do not believe in list. But I like a big board. I'm cool with a big board.
You know.
If you want to do that, that's we can certainly do that. It's a National Logistics Day today.
Oh, backup on the pudding for a second though.
Let's go back to tapioca pudding.
Not tapioca pudding, but how about banana pudding with vanilla wafers around the outside of the bowl. My grandmother used to do that.
Yeah. Yeah, that's the only time I would eat vanilla wafers was with like banana pudding.
Yeah, a solid, a solid.
Thing that's like old people food.
Yeah, I bet it wasn't. At first it was like young people food and then became at some point it became old people food. As far as like the logistics, it's National Logistics Day and I was sold. The key to Amazon was the logistics. They they bought early on Amazon swallowed up. I forget the name of the company, but there was a company that had a logistical map
they had of the United States. I remember reading about this years ago, and that was the thing that helped Amazon leapfrog into the zeitgeist of society, because it's all about the logistics. They they had to figure out how to get people's crap to them the same day or the next day, and that's what separated them from everyone else.
And so it's it's not something you think about, and it's really not that exciting to talk about on a podcast, but it is National Logistics Day, so I wanted to throw that out.
Did that involve them finding warehouses close enough to all the regions that they were serving?
Well, it was and I remember vaguely reading the story, but they bought a company that already had a footprint on how to deliver stuff but wasn't that successful, okay, and they just kind of piggybacked off what they had already done. It's kind of like in food you see clusters of restaurants. There's a there's something in business where if you just follow, like McDonald's is very good at
finding locations. They do the they do the market research, right, they figure out, you know, there's this number of houses, is this number of people that are living in a central area.
Yeah, they even know how many of us are overweight.
Well, everyone's overweight, but they're like they figure out, like like, okay, so this is how many people are going to eat out on average per week based on then you know the analytics, and so they put their restaurants there, and then other restaurants will copy them.
So I love Raising Canes, ras Canes.
I've been to Raising Canes in like four different states, and everywhere I go where there's a Raisin Canes, almost always it's right across the street or down the block from Chick fil A. Yeah, because they're piggybacking on Chick fil A, which is brilliant because you're guaranteed one day a week somebody's gonna go out for Chick fil A and they ain't gonna be open on Sunday. But Raising Canes is open. So those people that don't forget, they don't realize, they forget that that Chick fil A is
not open on Sunday. They go out for Chick fil A, They're like, I want chicken, and then they end up going to Canes and maybe they like that better or they're willing to go there.
And put in their rotation.
It's not trigonometry.
The logistics very exciting. So on this podcast we've got are those funeral potatoes kryptonite the phrase of the week, and if we have time, we'll get to some food fun but we'll begin with this. This past weekend, I set a new personal record and this will be someday in the trivial pursuit game that we have about the show. You can put this on a card and the p ones will get this right. Last weekend a record setter for farewells. It started out early on a fridayday morning.
Let's go back in the hot tub time machine. I was invited. I don't know if that's the right word. My presence was requested. A friend of my wife's mother had died. She passed away and she was laid to rest last Friday. So I got up early and we I put on my church clothes because this was at a church, not my temple clothes, my church clothes. So I made the long haul to the tabernacle with the wife and it was a massive wedding. This person very
loved this woman. She was big in the church and people helped a lot of families out and so it was a I didn't really know her. I had met her a couple times, I didn't really know her, but we were there. And I've been to a lot of funerals over the years. I'm not bragging about that. Just a lot of people I have been close to or loosely related to, have died.
That's what happened.
So this one though, Top five spread, Top five funerals spread. It was catered. They had barbecue on one side. They had Kirkland brand pizza on the other. They had a dessert table. It's like a high end wedding. They had desserts, cookies, strawberry cake because the woman who had passed away, she loved strawberry cake. So they had that and pretty much all their favorite foods, which I thought was really cool.
You know, not that you want to plan your own funeral, but that's kind of cool, right, You have your foods that you liked in your life and you can share that with other people and all that.
Yeah, you'd have chicken fingers and ranch.
I'd have raising canes, chicken fingers, no rain inch. That's a lie. But I've been, as you know, Danny, a prolific freeloader, not as much anymore since COVID, I pretty much stopped going regularly to games because I just didn't want to deal with the bullshit. But over the years, I spent most of my adult life up until a few years ago freeloading at sporting events. And I gotta tell you, this was as good as any freeloading event
I had been. Not as good as the Stanley Cup Final when the Kings were in it a couple times. That was the greatest spread that you can possibly have. But were there, and as a good mitzvah of the day, are those funeral potatoes?
No?
But I did put on my Benny the Baker cap as I am Benny Crocker, and I made chocolate chip walnut cookies because the friend of my wife likes chocolate chip walnut cookies. So I said, okay, So no, no funeral potatoes were harmed. But the word on the street, I was right happy about this. It made my head swell, was that the people and I was only at the spread for a little bit at the post game for the funeral, but the cookies were a hit and that made me happy. That made me feel pretty good, like
that people love them. But I gotta say this one. It's always odd when you go to a funeral, like who's there, what they're wearing, the whole thing, and.
Not that I go to these things the people watch.
But I did love this one because the woman that had passed away the mother of my wife's friend. She had grown up in East LA back in the day, right, So she went to Hamilton High School, and she was from LA and it was kind of a rougher part of town back in the day, and so some of the people that she knew from her from her younger days were there and I wanted to take a picture, but it would have been inappropriate, Danny, so just take
my word for this. I didn't take any photos, but I still in my head in that cartoon bubble had the image of these guys. Let me try to describe them to you, because I thought this was just wonderful. You had these guys who clearly were gangsters back in the day, right, They were keeping it real in their twenties, you know, teenagers. So there's they're now older gentlemen. They're in their sixties now, right, So they're old kind of gangster guys. They're now in their sixties and they were
dressed like they were back in East LA. Maybe they still live there, I don't know. So they're wearing the outfit and they're driving around mobility scooters wearing those. It was just I mean, it was amazing, Danny. I God love them. I mean it was so great that they're dressed like they were back, you know, back in their homeboy days. And uh, and they're driving around a billion scooters. I thought it was just it was just amazing.
You know.
It's like, yeah, they're getting older, their bodies are falling apart, but you know, they're still keeping it real. They're still keeping it real, Danny. And that's kind of important, right, you know, Yeah, to keep it really, gotta keep to your roots. And it was just amazing.
It's paradise, It's gangster's retirement.
Wouldn't that be a great movie, Danny?
You should write that, Like, you know, all those remember those old guy bank robber movies. They wanted to make shod pigeons out of them.
How about like the old gangster movies.
Were these guys driving around they're complaining about the Early Birds special or whatever they're they're grumbling about what's of course they don't really make any movies anymore that are new in Hollywood, but that would be that would be a pretty funny movie. I would pay money to see that movie. I'd have to have popcorn, but but it was pretty good. So following the funeral, more on my record setting weekend. Following the service, Uh, got back. I
wasn't there long for the postgames. Probably should have stayed longer. Didn't do that, got some food, got back in the mallomobile with my wife and my sister in law, and we headed as close as we could get to the surface of the sun. And literally, by the way, I'm not making this up, we decided to spend the weekend in the hottest spot we could get to within reasonable driving distance, Palm Desert slash Palm Springs.
And that's where we landed. The eagle had landed.
It was my wife's birthday weekend, part one. And I think your wife does the same thing, Danny. Right, It's like a birthday month. It's a whole series of events. It's a festival, it's like a carnival. Yes, it's my birthday month exactly, like well my birthday, I'm like, okay, let's get it over with and we'll be on but.
Like, I want mine to be a birthday hour.
Yeah, let's just do one hour. Maybe I'll have a slice of cake and we're good. But it's a carnival birthday week, birthday month. So Part one was a friends weekend, Friends and family weekend at a resort in Palm Desert for the weekend under the sun and in the pool. Now, major kudo credit points to the wife. She booked a stay at a resort because pretty much every hotel I feel like in Palm Springs is a resort. But she picked this one because she knew what I like and
I appreciate that. And of course the designated driver. But lazy river. The resort had a lazy river. I love lazy rivers. My favorite thing in the summer is the lazy river. And so I could she knew. I was like, hey, listen, I'm lazy. I can go. I can go sit on the inner tube, lay on the inner tube and float around and cook like I'm in a rotisserie oven, rotating
around under the sun. And as the nocturnal kernel of the overnight sports talk radio WARS, I don't have a lot of flaws Row, but one of them My kryptonite, if you will, is when I end up during the day in the great outdoors in the summer, does not go well, does not go Did you see the video I think it was from Kuwait this week of the traffic cones that melted. It got to one hundred and twenty two degrees fahrenheit in I think it's like fifth over fifty degrees celsius.
In Kuwait and the traffic cones literally melted.
That's me. That's me.
If I'm out in the sun, I'm I'm like a vampire around the sun. It doesn't go well. In fact, to prove how hot it was, it didn't get to one hundred and twenty two. But when I pulled up to the hotel after the long drive from La La Land and from the funeral, got to the hotel Palm Desert, dashboard on the malamobile ran one hundred and sixteen oh degrees. One hundred and sixteen degrees.
Might be a little face melting wowsers.
And as my grandfather would say, not for whims, not for whims at all.
That's the kind of heat where you see mirages down the road.
Yeah, it's the kind of heat where you question a little bit everything. Now it is a dry heat, and I will before our friends listening in the south below the Mason Dixon line and those in the Midwest that have to deal with the dreaded humidity. I do agree with the popular opinion Danny that humidity is worse.
Than the dry heat. Although when you get to one hundred and sixteen.
It's it's neck and neck. It's it's a horse race down the stretch, neck and neck.
The thing about the dry heat, you feel claustrophobic because you get to a point where you can't breathe.
Yeah, it's a mess.
And the other the other thing two about the when you get to that humidity. A humidity is God's moisturizer. So if you like, you know, the moistury, and I feel like when I'm in the humidity, it's like I'm being in the steam room when I go to the gym, and I like going to the steam room and John, you know, hanging out.
Yah.
Yeah, that's that's what I mean. I think at least I can breathe a little bit in the humid idiot feels gross and sticky, but I can breathe a little better.
Yeah, it's a little bit. So that was my my Friday. We'll circle back to this coming up a little bit late. Maybe we'll talk more about it on tomorrow's podcast.
That's a professional radio teas.
This is not radio, it's a podcast. We're much cooler. They don't make movies about radio people anymore, Danny. They make movies about podcasters. I feel the only reason I do this podcast is because people can say, oh, you're a podcaster, you're a content creator.
Way to go.
Or is your guy Danny your coach and congratulations big week for the Lakers. They're not sucking up to Lebron at all, drafting his kid and hiring his podcast or co host.
Yeah what is that? It's almost like your Clippers having their son and their coach on the same Oh.
Oh my god, I guess we're in the engagement farming industry.
Yeah yeah, did it really bother you when he dropped a couple of F bombs?
Here's my issue with JJ Reddick, former Clipper. By the way, I hated him with the Clippers. He missed every big shot. People talk about Doc Rivers being the reason the Clippers didn't win in the Lob City years. I would argue JJ Reddick in the fourth quarter of close games, wide open three point shots. Clank, get me clank. That's JJ Reddick in a big spot, just saying.
Chris Paul, DeAndre, Jordan, Blake Griffin, they had nothing to do with those l's.
Yeah, here's the issue with JJ Reddick and Danny. Even though you're a fan of the Devil's team there, I don't think you're someone You're kind of like me in this regard. I am predisposed to despising smugness conceited people. But the main issue with that, when your smug is talking down to people like they're below you, that is JJ Reddick. That is the epitome of JJ Reddick. And I just find that horrific.
But I did like when he smacked down the other commentators that were on ESPN panels with him. That was fun to watch. Now him as the coach acting like that, he needs to lighten up.
I just don't like the guy. I just don't like them.
See, I would rather have a fun coach like Phil Jackson was a serious guy, but he also was what's the word jovial when he needed to be.
Yeah, like Phil, and I was around him, God forbid, I was forced to be out there when he was coaching the Lakers and Kobe and Shack and that. And I love Phil because Phil he would you would ask him a question, he would actually like think about the answer, like he didn't just give you a boilerplate stock answer. He would actually think about what you asked him and
like it felt legitimate. But you know, JJ Reddick his claim to fame and when he was doing engagement farming, JJ Reddick was he he spit Loogi's at every old school player. Remember the Bob Coozy, the great Bob Coozy, old fragile Bob Coosey, barely hanging on. He's like one of the last players from the nineteen sixties in that era of the NBA. And JJ Riddis said, oh yeah, we played plumbers and fireman or whatever it was.
We'll look at it this way because we are content creators and we're farming engagement on this podcast. It's way better to have this dude, even if he's kind of a douche and he smug in there, then I don't know who would have been a boring hire, that dude that just got fired from the Pistons. N Y Williams Monty Williams exactly. That would have been so boring, boring. At least we have JJ Reddick to talk about.
Now, all right, now, defend Bronnie James. Go ahead, I'll wait.
No, there is there is no there is no defense. I think the best way I saw it, a listener tweeted saying that would be like if Ken Griffy Junior was added to squad where his dad Senior was on the team, but he was batting one twenty five and you know, was not a very good play at all. Wouldn't even make the double A team. The one thing I'll say about Brownie, that's a little bit of an unknown. He did almost die on the court. Some people kind
of forget about that. I don't know if he has played at USC would have been any better had he played without that health condition. But they're throwing dad a bone, obviously, But at least they didn't screw that first pick up at seventeen. I like connect a lot. I watched a lot of Tennessee games. Why because of my friend JC, because of Clay Travis. Usually we get to laugh at Tennessee. Tennessee's actually had some good luck lately with baseball. And
their basketball team wasn't half bad. So I watched a handful of Tennessee games, and that kid really stood out on the court. Not only is he a great outside shooter, he drives the ball to the rack, which I love.
I don't know about it. I didn't watch him play a lot at Tennessee. I'm just the Bronni James thing. And then the thing that also annoyed me is, don't tell me it's a throwaway pick though fifty five. It's usually a G League guy or a guy that doesn't even sniff your bench. Okay, But then you have the media making excuses for Brownie James, and it's like it's just stopped. Okay, he had no business. It's nepotism, call it is entitlement. You know. That's that's privilege. People talk
about privilege a lot today. That's privilege.
It's in every industry, especially ours.
But we don't have to like it. Yeah, well that's true. I used to my dad, May he rest in peace. But I used to rip my dad because he if he was a radio like a traditional terrestrial radio guy, I would have been doing like morning drive. But my dad was a ham radio operator, so I didn't have an in you know, I didn't have the nepotism because my pops was a Ham radio game.
It was even Howard Stern's introduction to the business.
Yeah his dad worked in radio.
Yeah, his dad.
Worked in radio. So it happens in every industry. I thought Woes said it really good. After Brownie was drafted. He's like, I don't want to see suddenly people up in arms when nepotism has been a part of their business for years. So don't faint and cry foul now, It's part of life. It is what it is.
Well, Woj can kiss my ass because I uh sorry, woje, No, I am uh going.
There's deputism between you two. That's your step brother. Yeah, you guys were friends before Woes was Woch.
That is true, Woj. God forbidding. And we see those tapes of me and Woj on a panel together at NBC breaking down. But Woj is probably I can't believe they've made me do that. And I met I met his kid. His kid's probably in college now, but it's when I met Woj's kid years ago. He very cute kid, loved baseball, didn't even like basketball. He was like more of a baseball guy. He loved the Phillies and he was a big Phillies fan. I remember that back back in the day.
Anyway, all right, moving.
On, we have the real sporty talk there. We buried it in the middle of though. We buried it in the middle of the pot. Anybody on the Clippers is half of what Kobe Bryant is.
We have the phrase of the the phrase of the week.
A phrase of the week this week, on this Friday is gut feeling. Do you ever use that phrase? I got a gut feeling on this?
Oh we've all used that.
Yeah, the feeling. How about butterflies in your stomach when you prepare for a big game back when you played sports, or maybe you're a presentation, you got a radio show to do, you gotta do a monologue.
Except the Dodgers' front office they don't use that term. They say, I have an analytics feeling about this. Let me check the numbers.
They have no guts as we see, Yeah, exactly, And don't don't be in the home run derby because God forbid, you could get hurt. Anyway, it's a little shot there, oh, Tani. So the gut feeling thing, which is the phrase of the week here. Believe it or not, it is, it is part it's legit, it's not it's let me, let
me try to describe this. It's it's neuroscience and people have studied it here and our stomach and our brain, the connect between our stomach and our brain that when you have stress and you're concerned about a big game or you know, some guys they call it choking or whatever or crumbling under the pressure, you actually can get stomach ulcers that are induced by stress. People do emotional eating and all that, and the science from the neurosciences
shows that there's the form of a gut feeling. That a gut feeling is a chemical signal that your stomach creates to warn the brain of danger. Danger danger, danger danger danger danger danger. So there is emerging evidence that's a weasel term that shows the gut brain axis is one of the most powerful relationships in our bodies. But it's essentially a chemical sign a warning shot that the stomach sends out to the rest of the body saying, hey,
there's things are not particularly good here. We got a few issues. So the phrase gut feeling, the it original. It's actually not that old a phrase. It originated sometime in the late sixties, early seventies, but the use of gut feeling, but it goes back even further than that. And the phrase gut feeling derived from other phrases that talk about emotions, you know, originating from the stomach called
the gut, and that goes back to biblical times. But the modern term gut feeling came into the lexicon sometime in the late sixties, early seventies, so it's been it's been over fifty years, and it's obviously used with gut. Gut feeling is used with trusting your gut, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So that is the phrase of the work, gut feeling.
Amazing. I learned something every weekend.
I feel like there was some sark casm in that, Danny, I don't know that that was legit, but chemical signal from your stomach to your brain, gut feeling. You want to have some foody fun, foody fun, let's do it. We'll do a couple ones. I don't have too much time for this, so because we are on a tight clas.
It's a podcast, you can go on forever.
No, we have lives. Okay, we can't go on forever. Texas road has you ever been a Texas Roadhouse?
I have?
I have.
Also, Texas Roadhouse is now selling their famous roles in stores, dummy, So you don't have to go to Texas Roadhouse to get the rolls, the famous roles perfect dinners.
Which is great.
Now we need Red Lobster to sell the Cheddar Bay biscuits in stores and continue to sell them in stores.
Well, they have them in box form. You have to mix it all together.
Yeah, but I'm worried that's gonna go away because Red Lobster's gonna go away. Now.
Krispy Kreme is offering this is big for you boys.
Coming up. July fourth is right around the corner. Krispy Kreme offering free original glazed donut to customers who wear red, white and blue on July.
Fourth, Red white and bluey big there.
You go go in there and get your nice, delicious stone. Of course, they want you to spend five ten bucks on other things. Carls Junior has debuted they've gotten rid of the Beyond Burger. Beyond Burger no longer at Carls Junior. My dad probably rolling over his grave. My dad when he was convinced. Danny, when he saw that at Carl you love Carls Jr.
He was convinced.
I think he loved it because he was like right around the corner from the house, but he would go there. He's like, Oh, yeah, this is I'm eating healthy Now. I got the Beyond Burger.
It's like that, why did you just find a good veggie burger somewhere?
Well, so Carls Jr.
Has replaced the Beyond Burger with a new zucchini Star burgerh.
They just took my advice right now.
A veggie option. It's like you're the person running Carls Junior by proxy. Way to go, Popeye says debuted new boneless wings, which is what we used to call chicken nuggets.
They call it boneless wings.
So that's exciting. And the guy visited McDonald's. I just read this week. Guy visited McDonald's in fifty five countries across six continents and created the Mick Atlas. So if you're into McDonald's, you're gonna have to get your hands on the Mcatlas and the last Foody Funds. Well, I got two quick stories Starbucks part two of their latest summer menu. I know you're excited about that, Danny. I know your wife enjoys the Starbucks. They have egg pesto
and mozzarella sandwich and blueberry strusel muffin. They've added to the summer menu.
Twelve dollars each.
Yeah, twelve dollars, and it's the size of your pinky finger.
Enjoy.
All Right, here we go. This is the twentieth our twenty fastest, twenty fast fattest. I could talk that twenty fattest fast food orders in America. This is not Is this a list, No, no, no, this is a big board. This is a big boy. We're not gonna do all twenty all right, but let's just do the top five here and see if Danny can get any of the top five of these. Danny, go ahead, here.
What are they combos?
No, these are the These are the fattest foods, the most fattening foods you can get at fast food restaurants. This includes everything, burgers, chicken, desert desserts.
Also, milkshake has to be on there.
Yeah, I'll give you this.
Dairy Queen peanut butter cookie dough party Blizzard A large, a large one of those sixteen and fifty calories for that. That is number five on the big board. Let's just go through this quickly. Number four the Windy's Big Bacon Classic Triple.
That is Heartburn three.
Quarters of a pound of beef, bacon, American cheese, and mayonnaise, the Triple Burger. Eighty six grams of fat in this twelve hundred and twenty calories. So that was number four. Number three, Subway the Beast, foot long sub What the hell is that you ask? This is a half pound of meat, cheese, mayo, parmesan, vinaigrette, foot Long the Beast. It's got eighty eight grams of fat and it's fourteen hundred and sixty calories.
Now a place you like too, shake Shack? Do they make the list because they have that smoke Shack Burger?
I only have the top five. They probably are the number two on the list. Quickly, Danny from Carls Junior Slash Hardy's the Double Guacamole Bacon Angusberger. Yeah, now this bad boy has ninety three grams of fat, ninety three of saturated fat. Of course, you know some of the fats are healthy fats from the guacamole. But this burger exceeds by a country mile the recommended saturated fat intake of thirteen grams per day.
It's got thirty.
One thirteen hundred and forty calories and number one, number one, the fattest of the fat, the king of fat. From where else but Burger King the triple wopper with bacon and cheese, three beef paties, bacon and cheese. Burger King's triple Wopper is the fattest of them all.
Beatus di Beatus dives.
Ninety four grams of total fat holy thirty three grams of saturated fat. They say it does have a few a few healthy things like lettuce and tomato, but overall this is by far the worst of the worst.
I just looked up a shakeshack that I was thinking about. Yeah, two two hundred and fifty calories, fifty five grams of saturated fat, thirty two hundred milligrams of sodium.
Wow, that is that's insane.
That is death inside a wrapper.
That's like that place in Vegas in downtown Vegas is called though what is it the heart attack grill or something. Yes, you're going there and they weigh. If you're over four hundred pounds or whatever, three hundred and fifty pound, you can eat for free.
I'm dead sack shit exactly. All right, we'll get out on that.
Danny.
It's Friday. Anything you want to promote today.
Well, I'm gonna produce this fine podcast and then fly my jet into Sherman Oaks produce. Covino and Rich have a Friday fun show from two to four pm on the West Side, and that's five to seven pm. And beautiful Chicago, Illinois, the Windy City.
All I have a wonderful day, and we got new pods all weekend.
We'll talk to you tomorrow later.
Skater gotta murder. I gotta go