Kutbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, the clearing House of hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Big Ben and Danny g Radio on this first day of June. With a bunch of goofy holidays and whatnot here, but we're hanging out with you on a Saturday, Saturday Saturday celebrating which is I would say the most important. There's a bunch of these dopey holidays every day, but the one that's most important to me and dearest to my heart is Flip a Coin Day. Today is Flip a Coin Day?
Oh the passion?
Right, that's right? Three June, first most important day in history? Is it heads or is it tails? Is it heads or is it tails? And today I know who decided we need a day for that? I don't know, but somebody did. And here we are a perfect way. If you have a fifty to fifty option, do you go right or do you go left? Flip a coin. That's all you gotta do. Flip it in the air, flip it everywhere there you go. Do you know that Portland,
Oregon was named via a coin toss? That's true. I think it was either gonna be Portland or Hartford.
I think I learned that on this very podcast.
Yeah, I think we talked about them in the back in the day. But yeah, a coin toss also decided if the brand Hewlett Packard or Packard Hewlett, and they went with Hewlett Packard.
You know what else had decided? What is that whether or not my older brother was going to give me a Charlie horse on my left shoulder or my right shoulder.
How about this, though, I'll one up you. I'll one up you. Going back to Roman days, the legend is that the great Joyous Caesar, who later on would be known as the naming of Caesar's Palace. I don't think his family's getting any money his relatives, but Joyous Caesar forty nine BC, the Roman leader Juius Caesar used a coin to make very important life decisions. So many of the great Roman successes are because of the way the coin landed. So yeah, how about that the great Julius Caesar.
You don't want to mess with Julius Caesar, man, you don't. It worked for him. So it is National flip a coin Day today. So really, my TV show, I hope it comes back. I don't know for sure yet. Either way, I'm I'm waiting to hear back from the network executives on what the show comes back. But if it does come back, I'll have to work in Julius Caesar's name. Yeah, I'll have to.
I would be surprised if your TV show doesn't return because there were dozens of yours.
How dare you? How dare you? I did tell the people at NBC. I said, listen. I mean most of my people can't afford cable television. Can we get on the streaming? Can we get on the peacock? So I don't know. We'll see if they actually listen to or not.
Like what's up Amazon, You're shitting this money all over the place by this show.
Well, I'm wor at NBC spent all their money on the basketball because they're getting the NBA rights years I'm like, there's no money for Benny versus the Benny. I'm like, wait a minute, I I need some fricking money here.
For not even going to have money for inside the NBA.
They better find a way. I think Barkley's gonna end u at NBC. I don't have any insider information.
Yeah, did you see when he was on the Dan Patrick Show he said that he and his production company are going to try to hire all the guys and go independent.
Yeah, I mean why not. I mean, Barkley got f you money. He can't take it with you when you die. You might as well enjoy your buddies and get paid to do it. And yeah, I mean sure absolutely. It's also here's another dope, Holly. Its National Billboard Day today, So that's that's been.
I have really good radio memories with billboards.
Yeah, I have someone I have some good memories too with billboards. Were you ever on a billboard like I was?
I broadcast an entire morning show in the same pose that I was on the billboard.
That's great. We we had we did a bit one year back in the I think it was in the nineties. My god, dating myself, but the Clippers had a shocking of Danny had had a terrible team. We're losing a bunch of games. We were the Clips, so we put our morning update woman. We put her on a billboard, camped out until the Clippers won a game, and it became like a big thing, like the local TV morning news shows showed up to you know, here's an update.
She's still on the billboard. They put a tent up there, and it was the plan was she'd be up there for like a couple of days. But the Clippers kept losing.
So, yeah, that's the wrong that's the wrong team.
In the nineties, it sure was, but it was very problematic.
Was a candy man on the team.
It was around that time. It was around that time. Needless to say that the promotion went a little bit off. The tracks did not go so well. But so you were on a billboard. I never I was supposed to be on a billboard, but they did not include me on I've never been on a billboard, so.
I got to be Basically I got to be on that billboard twice, right next to the one on one Freeway and beautiful Ventura, California. The other time, one of my morning show co hosts was planning a wedding, and he kept bitching about what a mess it was trying to coordinate everything and how his fiance was getting on his nerves with a wedding planning. And I looked at him and I'm like, why don't we just marry you guys on our station billboard? And we all kind of laughed.
We looked at each there and we're like, daw, that's a good radio stunt. So we set it all up. Took a couple of weeks. We even got recording artist war and g to be the best man. It's the show stood up there as the best man, uh, and we broadcast the entire thing had tory. Yeah, like the whole thing. The wedding took place up on the thing that you stand on, yeah watch McCully.
Yeah thing, the thing that.
You could stand on right underneath the yeah big sign. And dude, if you're scared of heights, that is no fun to be up there clowning around like that. But I remember also we got a complaint from the Ventura PD because we stopped traffic on the one oh one from all the lookie loudes.
He was like, hey, Blue, we're warning that is cool. That's a good memory. That's a solid memory. And if you don't like billboards, you need to go to Santa Barbara. Yeah, because they do not allow billboards. There are no billboards. There are no poll signs, there's no neon signs. They're not allowed in Santa Barbara. No poles in the sea. They keep everyone off the pole. In Santa Barbara.
They do not experiment rhino there.
Well, hello on this pot. We got mister Maler's Wild Ride, Piano Man, the Gang Tackle, and we get to the phrase of the week, pop culture. You got some other things to get to, but we'll start with this. So this past weekend, I had what was just going to be a standard, normal night, standard normal night. It always starts out like a normal night. Then it goes sideways. Say,
this is the worst roller coaster ride ever. So I'm cruising and I'm driving on the Highway twenty two, which is the twenty two, which is not normally not normally a road I travel on. But we had to run an erran, me and the wife and the family. So we're out. We're running an errand and we're right near If you're familiar with southern California, which most people who
listen to this podcast are not. An amusement park which is very cheap to go to, by the way now, and it's like four payments of thirteen dollars you can get a season passed a knots Berry Farm. Yes, so we're cruising in that area around knots Berry Farm and just normally my wife's driving because I was a little tired. So the wife's driving, I'm in the passenger seat, and
all of a sudden, kaboom, whoa what happened? And I see this piece of something go flying in front of the car and roll off to the side of the road. And I realized, wait.
A minute, it was a dead body.
I would have made this even worse. That was the right front tire of the car that we were driving had come off the car and was blown to smithering.
What don't tell me this is that same jinxed car that you guys. No, this is a different car.
So here's the thing though, So my wife's driving, I'm like, all right, get pull it. We're in in the fast lane, but we're not in the car poolane. So we're in the fast lane, we're not in the car poolane, So I'm like, get pull over to the left because that was the close. I just get off the road. Pull over the left. We got to get off the road. So she very calmly pulls over. She did a great job. So this is a holiday weekend, right, people are zooming
all over the place. So we're we call. She contacts the auto club because I didn't want to get out change the tire. I mean, it's my god, we're I mean it's cars zooming by. So we're sitting there waiting in the auto clubs like, oh, we'd be there in thirty minutes, you know, but we're sitting there. We can't go anywhere, but we're inches away. This is the most heart pounding experience I've had. You know how crazy people drive on a holiday weekend. Everyone's driving eighty five ninety
ninety five miles an hour. It's the autobhn and you're a sitting duck and I'm I'm the one on the passenger's side, so I'm not that it matters that we get hit. We're both you know, it game over, game over for the Malor family. So we're like less than a foot away because the car wasn't all the way over to the to the left hand side. It was still a little bit of you know, room in between zoom zoom zoom, and my heart is I'm like, man,
this is this is wild. So we again try to get an update from Triple A and you know, thirty minutes whatever. So finally my wife, she knows what to do in these situations, not panic like me, So she calls nine to one one. She's like, hey, we got you know, we got a situation here. And so fortunately the California Highway Patrol came very rapidly, and I am responsible for a traffic break. Well I wasn't the tire blew out on mister Mahler's Wild Ride or the Mallard
Family wild Ride. So the CHP does a traffic break and I'm like, I'm still like, I know, you're not supposed to drive on just the rim, right, didn't we learn that, Danny when we were.
Oh yeah, we learned that from riding our bikes as well.
Yeah, exactly, you're not supposed to ride on. So my initial thought was I put my hand out the window, on my head out the window and say I'm yelling at the CHP. We can't drive anywhere because we don't have a tire. And the cops like, he gets on the speaker, just drive. He's like, just drive. You got through your rim, He's all. We did traffic and it's head spy. We did a traffic big dummy, get off the damn road. So we drove.
So is that where they zigzag in front of all the cars and make everybody slow down.
Yes, yes, they did a traffic break for us. And then they so they told everyone to stop. They stopped the traffic. Then they come up and they didn't come up right next to us. They used to bullhorn the megaphone. They're like, hey, pull all right, the traffic stop. Pull its safe, pull over, like the right side of the road, get off the highway right now. And so we did.
And this is a good life lesson. I didn't know that that is what you should do in that situation.
Yeah, I mean we really had no choice. I couldn't. Neither one of us could get out of the car. It wasn't safe. And I've seen too many videos on so the media of people getting hit by trying to get out of the car and change a tire, and then somebody whether they're drunk or not they come over, and.
Just just a lot of people not paying attention while they're at the wheel exactly.
Futsing around with their phone or whatever. And so it was. It was quite a hair raising experience. And I do want to point out that while I was waiting, once we got off the road and I was out of harm's way for the most part, got on the tire, I did go to the tire I've done so many tire rack commercials, Danny. I went to the tire rack dot com website and I went to try to in my head, I'm trying to figure out, all right, how much is this these tires? How much these tires going
to cost me? Yeah, So I went on there. I was I was shopping on tire rack dot com because I put my the name of the car, the mate, make ear and all that stuff, and then they give you all these different options on what kind of tires you can get for your specific car, whether you want tires for speed cruising and whatever, weather tires, and so it was. It is a good resource to look at and kind of shop around and price what you what you want and what you need.
And that's how I got my handcooked tires. You know, I'm going to isolate this part of the podcast and shoot it over to Scott, our boss, and I'm sure he will hobnob with the tire rack people.
No, it's true.
I mean I don't know. I know, that's why it's a cool story.
I know my wife. My wife was like, what are you doing. I'm like, well, I just want to see what this is going to cost me. I mean, they got all the tires here on tire recks, So I mean I've done the commercial.
I was going to say, you read their live commercials so much, you probably haven't memorized pretty much.
I mean, at this point, I have the main name brands I have. I have memorized for sure. I mean I could literally play the piano, Danny, and I can recite like a piano man. I can recite all the different tire brands.
Yeah, look at that professional segue. Last weekend, as you know, got to broadcast live from Tempe, Arizona.
Now, I will tell you, Danny, I've been to Arizona many times. I would say the hottest people are in Tempe and Scottsdale in terms of as as.
Far as their blonde girls and long legs.
A lot of first round draft picks, as we used to say back in the day, some lottery picks.
Women.
Guys we've worked with the are like, there's a lot of talent. A lot of talent, yes, a lot of high end talent. We saw some of that right right when we landed at the Phoenix airport. There was a group of nine girls and they were there for a bachelorette party. And we know this because they were talking
very loudly. They were waiting at the baggage claim. They were discussing how they were gonna split the bills on this trip, and one of them said, don't worry, I have an app on my phone and it's gonna split all the bills nine ways evenly. And you know, we have nothing to worry about. And Rich came over and he's like, get a load of these chicks. He's like,
they're not used to paying for themselves. So when they're all together and they got to pay for their own drinks and stuff, they watch every single penny.
How do you think that would go, Danny? If they were on dates, what do you think they would, oh, come on, yeah, yeah, they'd order everything and not a concern.
Yeah, So we get to the hotel, we did the live broadcast, great audience participation.
Looked like a really cool crowd.
It was. It was a great crowd, yeah, really good, good turnout. Great sounded good on the air, and then we did a happy hour from four to six pm. Even more listeners showed up because obviously they were getting out of work and everything for the holiday weekend. So then there's always at these graduate hotels remotes, there's always like a little group of listeners that stays for the after after party for show. All right, yeah yeah. They told me they're like, okay, let's regroup downstairs in a
half hour. So I go up, I change my clothes, I go downstairs, exit. Boom, that hot heat hits me, Like I had no idea. It was like eighty something degrees out here, and this is the evening time, and here in California, we're a bunch of woosies because we get the ocean breeze. Right yeah.
Sure.
So there's about fifteen listeners standing there and Rich says we're gonna walk the neighborhood. We're gonna walk to some bars. And I was like, all right, I like the bars part. I don't know about this walking part. So we walk about five city blocks until we get to some of the big hotels there, like Omni and Weston. We go up to the top like a skyview bar, and we watched the Western Conference finals game. It was cool. It was like a kind of a fufu. It was a
little too fancy for our likings. So the ringleader, the guy that he does a morning show in Phoenix, that's a buddy of theirs, told them, hey, let's leave. He's like, we'll have one more drink at a piano bar down the street. Now, Rich Davis from Covino and Rich his eyes lit up. He was all about a piano bar, like, yeah, a piano bar. And I'm thinking to myself, oh man, this is like a Caucasian dude's dream right here, like a wet dream for a dude who loves to dance
at weddings. Right sure, So we walked to this piano bar called low Key. You go down these steps, it's really cool. It's almost like you're walking into a secret jazz club, except when we get in there, there's nothing secret about it. The girls look like they're dressed for Hooters, but in darker colors that I saw her booms. Now I'm a believer. All right. That's the first thing we notice.
There's a strange mix of clientele. A bunch of people turning twenty one with college aged parties, and then a bunch of old people who look like they're at their last hurrah, like last Supper, yes, last Vegas. Yeah, all right, so it was a very strange mix. And then there's like dueling pianos and one guy on a little drum set and they are playing like all the white people classics racist, whatever song you hear at a wedding where all the white people get out there and start doing
the chicken dance, Dad is what they are playing. Hell, yeah, Covino was. He was standing there like cool, standing by the bar there, and I had the best laugh, man, because Billy Joel piano man comes on. Rich Davis jumps out of his seat and he is dancing in front of the stage band. I thought I was at a really bad wedding.
Now what level of intoxication were we at this point or was this without intoxication.
I feel like he would have danced like this to piano Man even if he was sober. But I want to say at this point he was probably five drinks in, gotcha.
Yeah, so he was feeling pretty good.
He was, he was, and so he's the whisper and he was, oh, he was dancing and snapping his fingers. It reminded me of Step Brothers, where that Billy Joel Singer was one at the motherfucking Catalina wine mixer. Oh yeah, yeah, Oh it was awesome, Ben, it was. It was such great entertainment. And if you get a chance to go out with Rich Davis at one of our events, do it. Not only is he a really good dude, but so fun to be out in the night life with. I love a party. And when the song ended, he looked
like a sad puppy, like it's over see. He goes up on the stage and this was the move. If you want these guys at the pianos to play your song, write it down on a little piece of paper with a twenty dollars bill and put that in the tip jar. Okay, so Rich writes mister Jones on a piece of paper with a twenty and puts it in that jar. We all want to leave at this point. Now it's midnight, where like We've had a long day of travel and broadcasting. We're like, man, let's go, it's time to go. Now,
time to call it a night. And Rich was like, I'm not leaving until he plays mister Jones. So we stood there for another thirty thirty five minutes. Finally mister Jones comes on. The guy that the one of the two guys that was singing it. His voice was cracking. He couldn't hit that range of that song. Yeah, and Rich was shaking his head. He said, I waited a fucking half hour for this.
Well, he paid twenty bucks for it, though, I mean, yeah, you paid twenty bucks. You're gonna stay till that song is played? Yeah, he walked, pay twenty bucks, you're gonna stay.
He went from so high to solo. We walk outside. We spotted a pizza pie by the slice place that was open. Oh perfect, Yeah, we went in there. The guy who owned the joint had Baltimore raven stuff all inside this pizza place, so it was like a slice of Baltimore in Tempe. And so we, uh, we had some pizza, walked back to the hotel. It was a wonderful, wonderful night, but I'm never gonna forget the low key piano bar, because that is where I saw Rich Davis go nuts to piano.
Man, I don't fake the funk. I guess he's gotta kee him away. It's like he gets near water and all of a sudden, man, stuff happens. It's like a Gremlins Now, was that right or rest being a water Tempe? That beautiful Tempee Lake thing they got there? Were you near that?
Oh we saw Yeah, we saw that from the skybar.
Very cool. I didn't. I don't know how long that's been there. I used to go to Arizona for spring training years ago, when you know, I was around the Angels and stuff, and I don't remember seeing that when an Angels train in Tempe. I don't remember seeing that there. But I was there for the Super Bowl. Is that this year? I guess last year? And it was really like beautiful.
Yeah, it's a reservoir, Tempe Town Lake.
Yeah, it's it's really really cool. They did a great job. It is the fifth Hour, as you know, and we have a tradition. I like words phrases, So let's get to the phrase of the week, the phrase of the week, praise of the week. This week is elevator pitch. I do use this dandy in my lexicon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear this. I actually hear this one a lot.
Yeah, elevator pitch. This is one of the great word origins phrase origins that we've had doing this podcast. So you know who Elijah Otis is? Do you know who Elijah Otis is?
The guy who does social media for our network.
No, this is the owner of the Otis Elevator Company. All right. So back in the eighteen hundreds, when elevators first became a thing, right, they were a death ride that many of the elevators were not made well. The cables would break and if the lift broke, the people in the elevator would plummet to their deaths. You can imagine that, And so people were so freaked out they had the HEB GBI's and the eighteen hundreds when these elevators came about, that they would just avoid the elevators.
As a result of that, the rent on those higher floors, you know, if like you go to Manhattan and the very top of the building that has the view of Central Park is ridiculously expensive, which is ridiculously expensive, and so you have that and because back in the day that was the opposite. The most expensive floors were the lower floors because you didn't have to walk up a bunch of flights of stairs. But once the elevator became a thing, then they could charge more and people didn't
have to climb stairs. But anyway, bring that up, because Elijah Otis was the owner of the Otis Elevator Company, and he figured out a way to get people to ride elevators. He had pioneered some new technology at the time. This is a mid eighteen hundreds eighteen fifty three, and it was a failsafe, meaning that if something went wrong, you wouldn't die. The elevator would stop and someone could
come bail you out of the elevator. And it was more like a wagon spring attached the cables that held it in play until it could be fixed in someone rather than its snapping and falling and all that. And so in order to make a demonstration to prove to people that hey, you're not going to die in this, he was so confident of this technology that he arranged a bunch of media to come out at this big public spectacle to show everyone how effective this elevator was.
And he used himself as the guinea pig. He used himself as the crash test dummy. He stood on the platform as it went up several stories in the air. He then this is wild. He used a knife to cut the elevator cable. The people watching screamed in horror, thinking they were about to witness the man's death. But he didn't die. He didn't die. And now if you ever go into an elevator, chances are the name Otis
to this day is it's the Otis Elevator Company. And it's still to this day on almost every elevator I go into, the Otis name is there, and it's you know that without that, that was the original elevator pitch. Of course, now in modern times, Danny, it's more about if you're in Hollywood where we live.
Yeah, yeah, giving somebody your idea very quickly, because it's just a short elevator ride with the executive.
Yeah, you got like half a minute or so to try to convince some big studio mogul. You're you're playing right, like, yeah, you know, Jeffrey Katzenberg or whatever is in an elevator, right, here's my movie and uh, you know here's what I want to do and blah blah blah blah blah. So the phrase of the week. I think that's a pretty good origin.
Yeah, that's a really good one. Elijah Otis Man had no idea.
What a dared devil? What are the things you do to sell your product? And if you died, we wouldn't have the otis name all over the elevators, But there it is, elevator pitch the phrase of the week.
This would be like getting herpes on purpose to show that the elixir that you have really works.
Oh so so so so so good. All right, I think we'll get out on that dandy. We don't want to go too long here because you have things to do and I have things to do. It's the first day of June, as we said it, the first of the month. Get out and enjoy the good weather. At least we have good weather. I don't know about where you are, but usually not that bad. I did see some wild storms in Texas. I did see that, so a few places have bad ones.
And did you see how Barkley got fooled last week on he thought it was snowing in Minnesota and somebody said the video that somebody sent him. It was actually cottonwood.
Yeah, I saw the video from the Twins game. It did look like it was snowing, but you got to pay close attention because the people in the crowd were not dressed up in winter conditions exactly.
It was a seventy degree day in Minnesota at the Twin game, but it was cottonwood seed that was flowing down from the sky, so it looked kind of like snow.
But yeah, the best part of my favorite part of that was the rest of the TNT night. It was Charles Barkley or was Shaquille O'Neal and Kenny Smith. It was like, shaq your big gummy, that's an Auburn education right now.
Yeah, they were busting as chops as well as the viewers with all their tweets and everything.
That was pretty fun, really really good, really really good. All Right, we'll have a great rest of your Saturday. We'll have a mail bag on Sunday and well anything you want to promote Danny on a Saturday here, you're good, yes.
Yeah, just this podcast. Man, make sure that you tell a friend send this podcast the link to this podcast to two friends or family members. Yeah, it's like a disease spread it.
Maybe one of them will actually click it, you know, and all we need what do we need, Danny? How long do they have to listen for?
Five minutes?
Five minutes we get credit. That's it. Five minutes, were good, that's.
All all of us. We're all looking for new podcasts and entertainment. So when I know, whenever I send recommendations of TV shows and podcasts to family members or friends, they like it because they're like, oh cool, thank you, I'll put it on my list.
Yeah. Well that is the famous line Danny. Right. The most important advertising is word of mouth advertising. Yes, sir, I know we're you know, restaurants. Yeah, if you recommend a restaurant, I'm like, oh, he says, that's pretty good. I'm gonna go check that out, right, you know, I want to see what that's all about.
So and he let them listen and decide if they want to spit it out.
Yeah, exactly. And and and we're not supposed to say this part out loud, but as long as you turn the podcast on, whether you actually actively listen or not, I mean, we're fine with that. We want you to listen. But if you don't we get the five minute credit anyway, Like I don't think they care if the audio is.
Up or not.
But have me wonderful rest of your day and we will chat with you tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow later.
Skater my flation