The Fifth Hour: “Experience” a Plunger

Kutbooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

Wow.

The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio And a happy Saturday to you as we continue our mark just the final Saturday show of twenty twenty fours.

We bit a do to the year here Danny, We're back at it and old football later.

Today is the NFL every day except yesterday.

There is at NFL on Wednesday, NFL on Thursday, and then James today and obviously tomorrow and and Monday.

Every single day. A little football for you.

Too much for me because I just want to know when the draft is. Oh God, no, no, you don't know, but I don't know. I don't. I gotta thank you, Ben, because, like a lot of Raider fans, I was a little upset when the Raiders beat the hapless Jags. But then I heard you on your Overnight show, not only to Raider fans, but to Cowboy fans, saying, don't worry about the stupid draft, and so I haven't been. I haven't been worrying about it ever since I heard your monologue.

That's why I did it.

It's an act of public service to the community.

It annoys me so much.

I learned as a Clipper fan growing up when the Clippers were you know, I was a young guy and they were drafting in the top three seemingly every single year.

What's wrong with your Clippers?

And every year I got suckered in that this player was going to be great, that player is gonna be great, all this stuff and burned time after time. And if you're if you know what you're doing, you'll get a good player. It doesn't matter. You don't have to be drafting at the very top of the draft. Look at the Chicago Bears. The Bears are a great example. They thought. We had guys in Chicago on the Overnight show that we're telling me, oh my god, the Bears will arrived finally.

At waited my entire life.

I wasn't I was I wasn't even alive or I was a child when the Bears won in the eighties. And now they've got Caleb Williams. They loaded up the wide receiver room, the team is ready to go, and they suck and Kayla Williams has gone was it nine straight games without thrun interception? They've lost all nine games. He's not good. He's a garbage time player. And you know,

Yeah, something tells me that people would rather talk NFL Draft than the NBA. Right now, the NBA is brutal man oh me.

It's not gonna it didn't break quick. So it's been several years coming to where we are right now. Anyway, on this edition of the Fifth Hour, we have the Cookie Monster returns moving like a sloth, clogged up, and the phrase of the week. All of that and more for the price of admission, which is absolutely nothing.

Yeah. I can't believe we are working this weekend.

I know, I know a bit is you do a show this weekend.

But here we are radio troopers, yes, professionals, no time off other than the company mandate. You know, the company does mandate, dany we take a little time now and again, but other than that, they don't force us to do this podcast.

This is an act of love.

This is clearly that or we only get paid if we do the podcast.

Either one of those things.

So I want to be doing this last weekend prior to Christmas in the start of Hanukkah was the Malor Family Holiday Party, not to be confused with the Ugly Sweater Party, which is a totally separate, standalone event. This is only for family and select few friends that are invited to the Malor Family Party.

This is when the really good Kirklnd brand liquor comes out.

This is this is when all the liquor that didn't get consumed at the last party is put back out on the table.

But the food has to be totally different. The food has to be totally diving.

So the whole menu changes for the Malar family party and a lot of bake goods, a lot of bake goods, complete chaos. This is kids, my cousins, my nephews, my nieces. They're all hanging out and they expect a certain amount of junk food at the Malor family party. So we loaded up and I was baking. It was like a family convention of cookie monsters.

Cookies I made. Let's see, I had the gingerbread cookies.

We had oatmeal raisin, gluten free oatmeal raisin for the people in the family that are worried about the gluten, so I had gluten free oatmeal raisin. We had chocolate chip. We added to the menu this year something the cookie monster. We had chocolate chip, but eminem chocolate chip, which is another flavor, crank up a couple of notches.

So we had that going.

And then since it's the holidays, we had to make holiday chocolates. So I ended up making these chocolates for the Holly, had some Honoka chocolates, had some Christmas.

Chocolates, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Ended up going to bed.

This is leading into the part of the parties on last Saturday, so a week ago, and I think I went to bed by the time the final batch well, and I made brownies too, made some and we used your family recipe, Danny.

It was Geara Deelli Ghiaradeli brownies, which are ridiculous.

Still reasonably priced, by the way, my grandpa made sure of it.

Well, it's nice of you and the Ghiadelli family there to do that, and very simple to make and delicious. I just add a few extra chocolate chips and they're just just wonderful.

So made that.

By the time I got done, the final batch came out of the oven, probably six seven in the morning. So I was up all night slaving a to make cookie monster happy. And then the party happened and everyth looked great.

We had all these food was all laid out.

It was wonderful, but a lot of it.

Didn't even get eaten, which really annoyed me. I was like, well, I could have gone to bed like four hours earlier. But it looked good. And as you know, Dany, it's all about presentation. It really is all about presentation. The presentation was there. The kids were happy. They all were high as a kite bouncing around, and we had a little cornhole action. The kids were playing corn hole, one of the great games of all time. Who corn Hole is the outdoor version of ski ball, which I dominated

Know, I was kind of moving around really slowly the day after.

I think a lot of people are sloth right now this part of the year. And then, you know, we talk about it with all the stupid New Year's resolutions. The gym is packed for a month and then and people continue to pay for months on end at these gyms, but they stopped going three weeks into the new year.

It's a tradition, unlike unlike any other.

Yeah, it's everyone and you know, the new people at the gym because they get The women get all dulled up to go to the gym, right, they have all their new workout clothes and all that. Even the guys have the new workout clothes that their wives got them or whatever. And yeah, bybe, I would say, by Martin Luther King day at the latest. The new people, ninety five percent of them are gone. It's a great hustle. It's a great hustle by the gym.

Yeah, yeah, you know what, Ben, I gotta do some cardio though I cut out most sugar from my diet. What's kind of taken over? Are carbs harb crazy? It's dead sack shit. Oh, I noticed it this past weekend. I told you how I took the family to San Diego to celebrate the holiday break. It was a fun time, setting time getting to the city of San Diego. Usually, what with traffic, it could be a four hour adventure.

Yeah.

Normally it's slow and then it picks up a little bit and then you get down to San Clemente. The Santa Nofree reacted the nuclear reactor and it's the.

Two big boobs.

Yeah. This gridlock, absolute gridlock.

It didn't stop once. Got to San Diego in an hour and forty five minutes.

Wow, that is awesome.

Since I was a little kid, we've been going down to the San Diego Zoo and to visit that city. I have never made it to San Diego that fast before. What happened?

Was it just the holiday people? Usually I'm a holiday, people still go to San Diego.

We left in the morning and it was a couple of days before Christmas, so people just were not on the road, and it felt like COVID traffic.

As we have talked about on this podcast. I love San Diego. I worked in San Diego. I have friends in San Diego. I don't go to San Diego because it takes too long to get to San Diego. And if I could get there quicker, and I live much further south than you do, Danny, much further south, Man, I would absolutely go to San Diego much more often, but I just not.

I can't.

Yeah, that's exactly what Brenda said. She was like, Man, if we could get here all the time like this, we'd come here way more often. The kids love Sea World because of the new roller coasters there, so we got to the park earlier than we expected. They ran around and got on roller coasters, and we took coded to all the exhibits and he saw the dolphins doing the tricks. You started by saying people are moving like

Well. Yeah.

The other thing about that, though, too, Danny, is the the you mentioned the word, which is the number one word of the last couple of years in business.

You can do anything you want if you put that word after what you're doing.

The word is experience. Right, Yes, this was never when we were kids. It was never an experience. You were just doing stuff. But now it's an experience. And so yeah, I got to pay a little extra. It's like a little add on bonus, this attack on fee for the experience I live with the sloths. Mocky Bulldog is like a sloth. She's like a rhino sloth, moves very slowly, so lazy. She will not even turn her head when

But so the.

Sloth experience and how old did they give you any kind of sloth fun facts like how old is sloths lived?

No, because this little area where we went to see them, we weren't supposed to be back there.

Once in the bond, you were trespassing.

You were going to do it wasn't trespassing because we didn't like jump a fence or anything. But they don't advertise that the sloths are kept back there. There was two of them in this plexiglass enclosure. And what they do is when you pay a little extra for the sloth experience, they take you back there with somebody that works at the park and they let you hold it and take pictures with it and all that. So we didn't do that, but just seeing them, my wife was

Yeah, we saw.

We were We went whale watching, which they have the whale watching in Southern California, which is really just dolphin washing. I've been whale watching probably sixteen times in my life. I've only seen a whale twice, but I've seen dolphins every time. But they I'm one of the dolphins that jumped up those spinner dolphins was like a little baby dolphin.

It was awesome.

That's got to be one of the coolest babies in the animal kingdom to see.

They're pretty cool, they're pretty they're pretty awesome. And they were trying this little baby one was trying to put on a show, like spinning around because they're spinner dolphins and all that. But yeah, if you've never seen a baby dolphin, and like, that's an awesome experience, Danny, it's experience.

Now to swim with a baby dolphin or the baby dolphin experience. I would pay for that. SeaWorld. They have definitely done a great job transitioning to the modern version that it is today. That was a lot of fun. And then the next day we went to the San Diego Zoo. The whole thing there and you'll laugh because this is also called the panda experience.

What is the panda experience? You sit on a tree and eat like leaves, What is the panda.

They put a panda costume on you, and they teach you kung fu nice. Some of us need less padding than others.

Now, aren't all the pandas on loan from China? Like China owns the world panda market?

Isn't that?

I heard that a while back, that all isn't it pandas that are all controlled by China.

I think you're right, and so that's another reason why this is such a big deal. There were hundreds of people Benny that were standing in the waiting line just to hopefully get a tour in there in the exhibit, because you need to make a reservation ahead of time to guarantee yourself the panda experience. That's how popular it is right now.

Well not again, it's the experience part.

It was just pandas, people wouldn't care, But the experience part is that's next level.

Well.

I think if they just put the pandas out in the open, though, all hell would break loose because if you saw the amount of people I saw trying to get in there, clamoring to see these pandas, you would understand why you have to make a reservation for park safety. So we get to see the panda CoA got a kick just freaking out seeing this big panda bear and the size of this thing really surprised me. I mean, I didn't know what I was expecting. I've never seen

Probably Are they the size of like a medium sized dog? Are they bigger than that?

Let's see, I'm gonna look that up.

Weight you listening to our live coverage this is the Fifth Hour podcast. Danny g right now is looking up fun facts about pandas, so you only get this content here on the Fifth Hour podcast. It is a we'd like to alert all the affiliates down.

The line when they are fully grown, they are two hundred and eighty pounds.

Oh okay, yeah, well they could be.

They could say. They could be anywhere from one fifty to two eighty.

Jadas says, pandas can climb as, hize thirteen thousand feet and are good swimmers.

Wow, who knew about that? I had no idea the pandas are good swimmers either.

Yeah.

Male pandas sometimes relaxed by doing handstands against trees.

Since a fifteen months old. They're ready to live independently.

Oh nice, I know.

I wish humans were like that.

Co'd be ready to move out soon.

Panda panda fur is worth between sixty thousand and one hundred thousand.

On the black market. Racist is it bad? Though?

The first thing that popped up when I type panda into my Internet search engine was Panda Express.

That was the first thing that popped up.

There, your reward points showed up.

Yeah, it was like you, Marcel and Brooklyn. Hey Marcela, you ever had Panda Express?

Where do they serve there? Panda?

You know, dummy? So after the panda experience, we worked up an appetite. I could have got a salad the little bar and grill there. Sure did I do that? Or did I get a big giant salted pretzel with melted cheese?

I hope you did the right thing and got the salted pretzel.

That's the way to go, you know I did. And then the problem was we had to walk up a steep hill to get to the polar Bear and Brenda's pushing Coha in his big stroller. He was giggling because she said, mom power, Oh there's no Qua pushed the stroller up as she was jogging uphill. I'm now in the back and I'm watching everybody ahead of me, and I'm like, this sucks, man, where's my dad power? Right now? I felt the melted cheese oozing through my pores.

Yeah, and did you tell? Did you tell? Calls this on?

Your Dad's just making sure everyone's okay. I'm kind of staying back, you know, I'm in the back. You're just make sure anything goes I was supervising. Yeah, yeah, you're supervising. You were, you were the ring of protection on the outside of you.

Yeah. We got up to where the polar bears are and it was it was funny to see co It was like he was being lifted in a chariot. They didn't want to bother with unbuckling him and getting him out of the stroller because then he'd want to run around like.

A wild Indian racist.

Yeah. I don't think I can say wild Indian anymore.

Has that been canceled?

Yeah? I think so. I think so. Instead, the other kids picked up the chariot and held it up high so that he could have a bird's eye view of the polar bear. Polar Bear was like digging himself into the dirt, like trying to cool himself. Looked like he was humping the dirt.

He got turned on in scared me. A little X rated dance from the polar Bear.

Everybody was trying to figure out what this polar bear was doing in the dirt. Yeah, it was a good time, man. I got to see polar bear, the slough. What a weekend. The baby dolphin, the panda was amazing because that's something you normally don't get to see here in America.

That's great. That sounds like just an awesome time. And Cole, you'll have to go back several times. But because Cole, you had that childhood amnesia, right, Cole, get a little.

Older, forget all about it. So you got to take him back. But the good thing is to be like planted deep in his mind, like in the subconscious.

And we've mentioned it before that we are lucky to live next to one of the country's best zoos.

Yeah.

San Diego is awesome, awesome, awesome town, so awesome. They don't need professional sports, they don't.

Right, they got everything.

You got the weather, you got the beach, you got the zoo, you got world class museums in San Diego.

It's wonderful.

You know. DJ Spin gets upset because I got a little heated, remember during the Dodger matchup and my friends in San Diego, they have this weird situation with La where their relationship with La is people come down from LA to San Diego and spend a lot of money, go to their zoo and leave trash and all that stuff, and then head back to LA. They feel annoyed. Danny, right, there's this rivalry. But I've always had fun in Sandie

What else do we have?

There's a couple of other things I wanted to get to before we get out of here. I know, it's the holiday weekend. We have things to do and places to go and whatnot.

Here well clogged up.

So we did have the Malor family party, and there was a great mystery at the end of the Mallor family So we have this extra side bathroom which.

Is only really used when.

People stay at the house off to the side of the house, and it is only used usually.

It's actually not far away from my remote studio where I do the show from.

Occasionally i'll do the remote broadcast from the home studio, and so I have a set up and there's a bathroom and it's literally just a few feet away from where I do the studio work from. So it's great for me when I'm doing the studio. But other than that, I don't really stay in that part of the Malor mansion. I'm in other parts of the house. I don't really go down.

There that much. And so after the Malor family.

Party a couple days later, I was in the studio work on some stuff and I had to go to the powder.

Room, as they say in Canada on HGTV.

So I went to the powder room and I went to flush the toilet and somebody had clogged it up, but we don't know who. So I was in trying to investigate who could have because I don't have a problem. You clogged the toilet up. Maybe you had some very thick food or something like that or whatever you're but you should let if you can't unclogg it, you.

Should let somebody know.

It's bad etiquette, like like I've gone We've talked about I've gone to people's houses, you know, and you have a situation, but you can't leave the toilet clogged up. You've got to either unclog it yourself or at least let the person know saying I got a situation, Do you have a plunger? And there was a plunger, Danny, That's the thing about this. In that bathroom, there was a plunger right next to the toilet.

See, that's what I was going to ask you, because you said, unclogg it yourself, but you got to have the proper tool.

No, No, there was a there was a plunger, not a great plunger, but a serviceable plunger which was right next to the toilet, which would have certainly gotten the job done.

So anyway, I'm like, I just wanted to quickly.

Go to the bathroom and I had to get back to the studio and do some stuff, and so I ended up having to like unclog it.

And it was one of the things. It had been clogged for probably a couple.

Of days, because nobody had used that toilet in a couple of days, so it kind of set in there. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about, but it kind of set in it so it took some hearty uses of the plunger to unclog the toilet. Eventually it did get unstuffed. But that's how the surprise clogged toilet is something you do not well. Obviously, you don't expect it, and then when it happens, it's rather a pain in the ass.

We have the phrase of the week. Are you ready for the phrase of the week?

The phrase of the week? Our phrase the week is by request. Dan from Vay sent this one in. In the phrase of the week, a coach who listens to the fans ends up sitting with them.

You ever heard this along the way, Danny every Yeah, yeah, so I had heard this when I was a kid.

I heard this from NFL executives. I've also heard this from NBA executives. Uh, the one, the guy that used to say it all the time.

I was the guy's name. He was an executive with the Colts.

He got into a verbal rhubarb during the NFL draft with mel Kiper.

You know up time, remember this this famous incident? What was it gay? Was it Jim or not?

Jim irsay was he worked for the Colts though Bill Polian. I think Bill Polian is what I'm thinking. Okay, So he used to say this all the time. And so this guy Dan and Vegas sent this in and this.

Is actually a pretty good one. I've heard this before.

I wonder who was the first person to say it, because you don't you don't know, you think you know. Whoever you heard it from first is the first person. So it's an old saying in sports that you know, coach or a general manager who listens to the fans ends up sitting with them, and that you're not supposed to pay attention, right because you have the inside information,

I've heard the name Joe Kohartchik.

He was the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles in nineteen sixty seven, and he's the first person credited with saying, if you listen to the fans, you'll find yourself sitting with them. He was the head coach at the University of San Francisco in the nineteen forties, he was at Notre Dame.

He was the head coach at Notre Dame for a couple of years.

Was a coach in the NFL for the Chicago Cardinals in the nineteen fifties, the Washington Redskins.

I said it.

I said it, the Washington Redskins, and also the Philadelphia Eagles had a terrible record.

Maybe he should have listened to the fans, Danny.

He was fifty eight eighty one and three as an NFL head coach, and yeah, not a great record. But he was the first person that is credited was saying a coach who listens to the fans ends up sitting with him.

And so that is it.

It's an old article here, by the way, it says Bill Pollian basically tells Colts fans to screw off.

Well that's about rights, that's pretty much. But he was, he still is, he's still around. I think, yeah, complete schmuck. All right, we'll get out on that, Danny. We'll have another mail bag on Sunday, so another podcast to go and enjoy this weird time of the year between Christmas.

And New Year's and well let me back at

You tomorrow, see you then Asta PASTA later skater bopulation