The Fifth Hour: "Expensive Sauce" Mail Bag

Kabooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

Wow.

The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

In the a.

Reway and here we are back in the podcast Ojo The Fifth Hour with Ben Malor and Danny G. Radio, because hey, four hours a night not enough.

Eight days a week you hear me on the Ben Malor Show.

What a great name for a show Monday through Friday on the East Coast two am till six.

Am in the morning.

But if you're on the West Coast, it's a late night show Sun through Thursday. We start at eleven pm in the West and go till three in the morning in the Pacific time zone.

And you can hear Danny G.

The stylings of Danny G making Covino and Rich sound good on many Fox Sports radio affiliates all over the country.

And when can people hear that show? Danny G. Covino and Rich.

That is two to four pm West Coast time Monday through Friday five to seven pm on the East coast.

And for my money, that is the perfect shift. Two hours, not too long, not too short, two hours and that.

Wonderful, wonderful in the middle of the day.

Maybe a little too much traffic when you get done, but yeah.

And Covino always jokes that his taste in sports is like a ninety year old white guy. He loves boxing and baseball.

Does he like horse racing?

No, I don't think so, but baseball in boxing. One of the reasons that we're in Vegas right now, plastic last night, did a Russian bot help you watch it?

I would, of course I would never It would be wrong to illegally stream.

That would be inappropriate. You should never do that.

But let's just say I was able to use a chip in the back of my brain to figure out how to possibly watch the fight.

I had it.

It was like I was dreaming watching it and people were speaking weird languages, but I was not.

It was not illegal, I don't think and are.

You guys It's the same chip that gets you held up through customs.

Now on your way out of Vegas.

Are you going to drive by the site of the new Athletics stadium, the new ballpark for your childhood team, the Oakland Athletics Dandy g As. It was announced earlier in the week that A's have made the purchase. They are gonna move. Barring some kind of litigation or some kind of snaffu. At the very end, it's going to happen. They are going to be the Las Vegas Athletics.

Wild but Ben, their logo has been ruined in Oakland.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure yeah, wink wink, not not.

And now the Athletics name though, are they going to keep the athletics name? That's been around since nineteen oh one. That's one of the original names in all of sports. And I think if somebody had fallen and they had a concussion and.

They were in a coma.

Let's say they went to the coma in like the year two thousand and then they came out of the coma and then they looked around and the Warriors aren't in Oakland, They're they're over in San Francisco. Said, well, okay, that's close enough. Well what about the Raiders, Well, the Raiders move all the time, So that's what's a big deal. So oh yeah, they're in Vegas and the athletics.

Yeah, and their daughter is this thing called an Instagram model?

What are they gonna do with the colise? Are they gonna tear that thing down? The old baseball stadium in Oakland?

I don't know. That's a good question, man. Maybe they could make it a homeless encampment.

Well, it's already got vermin, They've already got critters and whatnot living there.

All the stupid bullshit politics that have gone on in that part of the Bay Area. Somebody needs to go into the East Bay with a huge fire hose and clean that fucking city up, like, for real, for real, clean it up.

How is it stayed? I don't understand.

With the price of real estate in northern California. I know the tech boom is not quite as big as it was and some people are being laid off, but.

It's still very valuable real estate.

How is Oakland managed to still be a cesspool and just a shit show?

I'll tell you how.

All the money is up in the hills there. So the Oakland Hills is multi million dollar homes, But then the flats of the city are just beat up and have been disgusting for years. And the quote unquote city leaders have allowed this shit to go on for way too long.

Yeah, but the rich people, My experience is to get to the hills, you have to drive through those neighborhoods to get to the really nice houses.

So oh no, they're side streets. Oh okay, they're not driving downtown.

Not going through the hood.

They're not driving through the hood.

I got you, all right, it's this bag.

Well, these are mail bag questions. If you would like to submit a question via the mail bag, it's Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com and the email address. If you want to buy a shirt, the Malor meet and greet is on May twentieth, so this is our next last weekend in April, And if you want a T shirt, this is a limited edition. And once they were done with this on Monday, that's it.

No more will be made and that's.

One of the reasons it's a thirty five dollars item. But if you're interested in buying this, it's got the name of the show. It's purple and gold colors. I do not like, but these are Viking colors. These are not These are not colors of another Purple and Gold team, Danny. These are Viking colors.

Oh, you just made your sales decrease.

Come on, Oh no, No, they're good anyway, So you can check that out if you're interested in. That's got nice silhouette of the state of Minnesota on it and the name of the show.

And then it's got Malard meet and greet. You can see it. I don't need me to tell you, but.

That's Malardmerch at gmail dot com. But if you want to email for this podcast, a mail bag question which we love and I'm really excited. New names popping up here, new people finding the podcast, which is really cool. We love the regular core of people, but we always want new people to join the electorate and real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. First one up is alf the alien opiner from Springfield, mass Right.

Since it has been.

Last week, I asked about adding a fun facts element to the Fifth Hour podcast, and like a train seal, you went turboton. Last week's question about chinchilla hunting was genius.

When you and Danny g went.

Straight to the hot take kitchen and grab some fun facts garlic and added that to the podcast. Stew Alf says, your ability to spice things up with fun facts not only enhance the podcast, but somehow also made your overnight show better. Screw the Voice of Treason Eddie Judas Garcia, I say keep them coming, and it's from Alf the Alien opiner.

Alf.

Do you remember when I did the Blitz with Tom Looney on the weekends and during baseball all season to try to dress things up. Rather than give the same baseball scores, we just started giving fun facts from different cities around the country. We were like white Out was invented in Dallas where the Rangers are playing the Angels today, and we were, we were having a great time.

I learned a lot the Milwaukee Brewers, not far away from where the modern typewriter I think was put together, and the keyboard and yeah, yeah, it was pretty good.

And all the letters I learned, all the letters to spell typewriter are on the top line of the keyboard because the typewriter salesman was trying to impress people, so that's why they put the letters to typewriter all on that type that top line.

If you look at your keyboard.

And I have a couple of fun facts there about Alf. Did you know the show is a huge hit in Germany?

The city.

Yeah, the city limit sign of the German city Alf was stolen so many times times that the city ultimately stocked up on a bunch of signs. That way they always have one handy.

Wow and Alf.

To think that all these years later, Alf is such a big star on this show. And we thought Alf got canceled and all that. But Alf is bigger than ever on this show.

Yeah, any other fun.

He had his own set of trading cards from Tops in the late eighties. A few of the cards were parody sports cards Oulia baseball.

Oh yeah, I guess that was some alien baseball.

Oh who knew? Yeah, this probably goes back over ten years. We started doing those fun facts and I loved it. I learned so much stuff that I didn't know. And I love geography in history. Mixing that together and all that, it was great. I remember some of those fun facts in Philadelphia.

The slinky was created in Philadelphia.

Did you know that they didn't know that?

That's a fun fact. Yeah.

Do you know Elf had eight stomachs?

I did not know that the first sun tam lotionan was invented by a pharmacist in Miami Beach in nineteen forty four. Before nineteen forty four. No suntannoce.

That's a fun fact, right.

Oh man. There were some red people walking around back then.

The guy's name was Benjamin Benjamin Green, a guy that came up with the first sun tank locean.

This is one.

I think Looney made this up, but Looney claims this is true. He would say that the monkey wrench was invented in Baltimore, that the monkey wrench was invented Baltimore in the eighteen fifties, So we could.

Go on on. I've got endless amounts.

Kansas City has more barbecue restaurants per capita than any other city in the nation.

That's another fun fact. So moving on.

Jennifer in Richmond, Virginia writes in says, hello, Ben and Danny G question for both of you, was there ever a time that you ran into a toxic X or a one time date that ended badly? They're doing not yours. How did you react? This happened to me two weeks ago. Jennifer says, I did not fully bite my tongue, but I did a hold back on the sucker punch. My words hit him just as well, though, WHOA.

All right?

So I'm trying to think here, Danny, any awkward situations with an X that did not end well? I'm trying to off the top of my head. There's nothing really like that outrageous. Usually I'm the one getting dumped in the past relationship. So I was like, whatever, you know, move on, I'm good and put my tail between my legs and I'll go see if I can find somebody else to hang out with.

Anything with you, Danny, Yeah, I'm thinking back about a decade. I saw a country concert in Las Vegas and I was with a new girlfriend at the time.

We were having fun.

We were like in the second row in the third row right behind us. You know, you look around you as you're dancing and having fun at a concert and there's the ex girlfriend with her ugly friend next to her. Thank God, it wasn't awkward for me because I was with a new significant other. This girl was with her ugly friend who used to get into our business all the time.

Now, did this was this girl like really? India? Like, was it one of those deals or were you more into her? No?

She was really into me, but she had like a love triangle going on. She had her ex still involved because she had kids in the picture, and so like her dude was always getting in the middle of our stuff and her girlfriends meddling.

Yeah, interlopers, the term is interlopers. That's what was going on. Uh.

Yes, I wish I had a good story because that would mean I had more success dating back in the day that I had that that happened.

But no, I mean I I got.

I did get an occasional message from an ex girlfriend, like.

You're never gonna make it in the radio business. You know, you're you should do something else.

You know, you worked because I was working weekend overnights, and so I would occasionally.

You're never gonna find anyone. You'll have no relationships and you'll bubba that.

Guys like that Eagles movie Invincible where the girl his ex wife rather wrote the note saying he would never amount to anything, and he kept the note and had it at his locker.

Oh yeah, I mean there was one one woman I dated briefly, and she was convinced that I.

Got to get out of radio. They you're buried. No one's ever gonna you know you're never going to go anywhere that whole thing.

And you know I managed to survive. I don't know that all I might not last radio the ray room. Who knows you ever know the way things are going?

Oh, come on, now you are the great Ben Mallards, So in your face botch.

There you go.

Next up, this is the on the mail bag, Danny. This is the proposal, not a wedding proposal, but it is a proposal and it comes from our friend David in Winter Park, Florida with Roscoe the parrot. He says, Ben, will you be my partner in the twenty twenty three Circa Million football contest. He says the contest is in August of twenty twenty three in Las Vegas under the alias Malar Militia. David says he's willing to pay the one thousand dollars entry fee and the three hundred dollars

Shock the world. How about that.

Cannot find a better partner than you. There you go give me the response. So what do you think, Danny think I should should give my blessings? As far as I know, it's no money out of my pocket. I'm just giving my name and my time in a trip to Vegas and I get to hang out with David and Roscoe the Parrot and then tick games during the NFL season, which I do anyway as a amateur handicapper on Benny versus the penny.

Such a nice offer, thank you, But I don't know.

I mean as enticing as that in, as enticing as that is, I think he would actually shock the Mallard militia world more if he could find twenty dollars.

T shirts.

Alf I call him out, David, I got, I got Roscoe, David and Alpha mixed up.

But David, listen, I will I will get back to you.

I will have an answer with you as soon as possible.

What if he puts a picture of the parrot on the back of the twenty dollars T shirt?

Yeah, well, then we could do the Mallard militia, you know, circa million dollars?

Do we win a million? I guess the other question is what if we win? I guess he gets all the money?

Right?

Is he get all the money if we win the money?

Yeah, I guess If he's putting the money up, then I guess he's pocketing the winnings.

Knowing my luck will actually win the million dollars, and then I'll be like, what the hell am I doing here?

Well, I mean i'd be like, I want.

To be your agent here if you go through this that way could cut you in on the winnings.

Yeah, that's well, he obviously gets his money back, so he gets whatever we would win. He would get the thirteen hundred plus whatever we'd have to split up the rest of it.

So let me know how you feel.

About that, David and Roscoe the parrot. Yeah, because I would feel bad if I'd feel bad if we lost, because you'd be out the money. If we won, I'd feel bad because I'd be like, what have I done here? I could have been making a lot of money and you know I didn't know it.

It's bad job by me.

Next up on the mailbag, we have Kevin in Kansas, he says, Dear Ben and Danny, g I hope you have time to answer this question.

I've listened to.

Every hour of every shout, Kevin says, for the past three years. Most of them are on the next day's podcast. He wants to know inside. He wants to know how we make the hot dogs. Danny, He says, could you explain the basic process you and the crew use to get a four hour show out to us within two hours after the show ends? So this is more of a podcasting question. Is that the producer's job? And if so, do all the fill in producers? I have to know the process, he says. I'm just impressed that I have

So it's a big yeah without giving away too much because you don't want to know exactly what's in the hot dogs.

A lot of night rates now you don't want to.

There is a lot of note taking, There is a lot of descriptions and titles and creativity that's needed. There's also man hours and power that's needed. Who actually cut up these segments, put the pie together with all the big voice sky announcements and commercials, and then boom, put it all together like a gumbo and then shoot it out to the world.

You're painting a mosaic and audio mosaic.

What there's a.

Certain finesse that you have to have to get that done.

A step by step formula, but it can't be cold step by step. It has to be warm and analog.

And keep in mind and Kevin, you'll notice sometimes when Coop's not there and there's certain people that are maybe new to the producing game, they might put the podcast up in the wrong order. I know one of our friends in Vegas. She always gets upset when it's in the wrong order. So the way to do it, the proper way to set the podcast up would be, actually

Therefore, you'd be you'd have to do more work.

And one thing I've learned over the years, Danny and I'm the same way, the more steps involved to get a product, the less customers you're going to have for that product.

Everything needs to be really, really easy for the consumers right now because thanks to Amazon and other companies, people's attention spans and people's clickability level is low. So if I got to click on more than three things, I'm out.

That's how most people feel.

Yeah, it's rat tat tat, And if there's an extra tat, you're done or no rat, you're done, it's over. Next up on the mail bag thank you for that, Kevin, I appreciate that. Mike in Fullerton writes and he says, ohhoy, Ben and Danny g after hearing the amazing interview you just did last week with Jayscoop, what do you guys think is the front runner for best interview of the year so far? Jay scoops Emmett Smith with his kid for Suson or the every bit worth the Way tell

What did you like more?

Was it all the fun game on funning games or the pizza. He then says, do not read this part on the air, but I just want to point out that I do not have any Chuck E Cheese stock. So that is from Mike. Well, I guess we weren't supposed to read that part way.

Who cares? So Yeah, like Chuck each I I can't remember the last time I was there. It was a long time ago. And I love the ski ball at Chucky Cheese. I'm a big ski ball guy. I'm a master at skiball.

I've been to Chuck E Cheese three times, no times or about ten times.

All right, So Mike and Fullerton, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go zero. I think you've never been to Chucky Cheese close.

I've been there one time, all right.

I dated this Lena girl a while back, and she of course had a kid or two.

Sexist of course.

This is a Jonas Knox joke that we would talk about on the air. On the second date, can the kids come on the next date? Or she wants to see how you'll blend in with her and her family at their next barbecue or at the Chucky Cheese get together. And sure enough, Ben about three or four dates in with this girl and to meet a Chuck E Cheese. I went for an hour, I drank a beer, and I got the hell out of there.

How many?

How many times do these kids meet different dudes like on dates? You think growing up it must be like every other month there's somebody coming in there.

The crazy part about Chuck E Cheese is I thought, well, there's pizza.

I love pizza. The pizza tastes like rubber.

I remember there was that story a couple of years ago.

How like, somehow it looks like they put pizza that's left over and they put it back together.

Yeah, it was nasty.

You know, if it tasted like round Table, there's kids screaming and jumping in plastic balls and all that. Okay, yeah, it doesn't taste like round table pizza. So yeah, I got the hell out of there as fast as I could.

Is it the last honest pizzas that round table slogan?

The last? Yeah? Yeah right. It's also the world's most expensive pizza. That's another story.

Yeah, true, that's why I make a ripoff round table pizza, which is not quite as good. I've tried to. I've tried to master the tomato sauce from round Table. It's hard to get it exactly right without commercial grade equipment, so that is a problem. You know, the Big Mac. Here's a fun fact for alf. The Big Mac was invented in the Pittsburgh area. Did you know that the Big Max from Pittsburgh.

Didn't know that the announcement about Big Mac sauce?

No, what's that?

You know the different.

Cups of sauces that they serve at McDonald's with nuggets, you could get the ranch, the honey, mustard, sweet, and sour. Yeah, they are now adding the special Big mac sauce as one of the options. Oh, you could dip your nuggets and your fries into big mac sauce.

Dreams have become reality. Dreams have become reality. Fred in Spring, Texas rights in on the mail bag. He says, guys, do either of you think we should switch to the metric system? No, Fred, No, I don't know the metric system. I'm too old to learn the metric system. And I like that we're on our own here on an island, not using the metric system. So I'm going though, instead being true Americans, we should try to convince the rest of the world to go to our system.

That's what I say, Danny.

Yeah, a mile is how many kilometers?

Uh, let's see, I have no idea how many kilometers is it?

Let me see. I'm looking it up right now because I don't know that off end.

One mile is one point six h nine kilometers, okay.

And then and then the the leader thing. How many gallons.

In a leader?

See callan is three point seven eight five leaders.

I'm not a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up. Oh okay, yeah, I think we're good on that.

Yeah, very confusing.

In order to do that. You'd have to start how would you do that? You'd have to start that in school.

You'd have to teach kids that, and then when they get over you'd have to That's how that would.

Have to core mathematics.

It would confuse the parents, they couldn't help the kids cheat on their homework, and our entire country would fall apart.

Civilization as we know it would would crumble.

It would it would be just a just an absolutely difficult, devastating thing, absolutely devastating. Next up, Thank you, Fred, Fred's a big support of the podcast. Daniel writes in in Ohio. He says, are you disappointed when you go to a hibachi and you get a white chef? Yes?

Is? Is? That's a random question?

Racist?

I know, Joe, and we'll move on from that one.

Joe of Darcy in Florida writes in He says, are there any more specifics on the Malord meet up in Minneapolis other than the date? Events plays times? I'm not ruling out the possibility of flying in for the event, and I'm working on hypothetical itineraries.

Thank you.

That's from Joe, and that's Joe of Joe and Darcy Fame in Florida, so Joe'd be great to see you. We don't As of the time we're doing this podcast, we yet do not have a venue confirmed.

I was hoping to have a venue confirmed back on four to twenty.

I guess there was too much pot smoking going on that day, so we did not get the venue locked in. And as soon as I get the venue, I'll let the world know. I'll make sure to post about that and the event. The locations we're looking at. The original location that we were waiting on, it was a yellow

It'll most likely.

Be afternoon evening, and the way these things normally work, you were at the last one, Danny. It's normally we set the time for like a couple of hours, like a two hour thing, and then I usually end up staying a lot longer than that, because people have traveled from a long way and I feel I want to I always feel weird because you want to make sure you spend time with people. It's always awkward at these things because now you kind of.

Know me a little bit, but you don't really know me. And then I know you, but I don't really know.

You, and so there's that falling thinning, you know, the ice thing and breaking the ice and all that. But it'll be at least a couple of hours minimum, and if nobody shows up, it'll be less than that, and if a lot of people show up, it'll be longer than that. And we'll just play it by year and we'll eat and we'll have a good time and tell stories. And I'm hoping my friends in Minnesota will tell me some cool things to do because I will be staying

I figure, why not.

My brother's gonna come over from Wisconsin, so we're gonna hang out with him and go to some different restaurants and eat a lot of juicy Lucy's and all that.

But as far as the meet and greet.

It is on that Saturday, May twentieth, late afternoon, early evening, as far as I know, is the plan, and we'll kind of play it by year and.

That's it.

I don't think there's any other events other than that. I don't think we're taking people on a grand tour unless that's being worked out, and I know nothing about it.

So that's that.

Cliff in Nashville says Ben. My wife is obsessed with a Netflix show Wentworth. I think that's Usperus. It's about a woman's prison in Australia. She even uses subtitles so she doesn't miss any dialogue. I was annoyed until they started fighting each other and usually end up kissing. It's worth a watch, says Cliff in Nashville. You ever watched the show with your wife there, Danny Wentworth.

No, but suddenly it is on my radar.

Got your interest. The subtitle thing we've talked about. My wife loves subtitles. She's a huge subtitle I think it defeats the whole purpose of entertainment.

I read millions.

Of words during the week as I'm trying to prepare for the show and get ready and try to find things I want to talk about.

The last thing I want to do when I'm vegging out is to read.

I don't want to read. I'm not I love reading. I read for work and I.

Learned things from reading. But I don't know. But out of the subtitle, yeah.

That's why me and my wife he love trash reality TV because you could literally turn your brain off and just be entertained.

Is who that's a famous quote, turn your brain off? Who said? What's that quote from?

Oh?

Me?

I did look up Wentworth right now? It says the confronting look into the lives of the inmates and prison staff of Wentworth Correctional Center as they navigate the ups and downs of their lives in the prison system.

I think that's a Lebron James quote.

Oh what do you want me to turn my brain off? Because I have such a high basketball IQ. Yes, yes, it's one of our famous drops.

Yeah that's all.

That is a Lebron That's a Lebron James drop and his incredible basketball IQ.

And that's great. That's I am just popping up. I hear that Lebron James.

Lebron Nick in Wisconsin says Ben and Danny, I know it doesn't rain much in southern California.

Not this year.

It did rain a ton, but Ring in Wisconsin is wild with rain, snow, and a couple of days in the high eighties this last week. What is your favorite rainy day activity? Nick says, I love the smell.

Of rain. I love it.

I'll do anything in the rain other than drive.

I'm done with that. In the rain. If it's drizzling, all drive. But if it's really rain and I ain't driving.

I love to get women pregnant.

Yes, for eighteen years. Actually a whole lifetime, Danny, a.

Lifetime contract on that, And what a wonderful lifetime contract it is. Christy writes in and says, hey, Ben, do you and Coop ever smoke together?

Oh? Sure, every other Wednesday. We absolutely do.

Every other Wednesday. Chris in, We'll get out. On a sporty question, Chris in Plainville, Massachusetts rites in. He says, what will the NFL look like in twenty years? Will we recognize the game? And that is from sporto question? I no sport Requick. Yeah, people always make a big way. It'll be the basic game, but it depends how many lawsuits they get and stuff changes. If they it cost the owner's money, they'll change things as little as possible.

May bet, I bet you the Pro Bowl will be flagged football by then.

Yeah. If you had said in twenty three that the Pro Bowl would be a flying football game, how would that go over?

Anyway?

Well, thank you for that all the great questions. And if you want to send an email to a future show, you can do it right now. You can do it tonight, tomorrow the next day. Just get it in by early in the morning on Thursday, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. And if you're interested, last call for alcohol or last call for t shirts, as this will be the final podcast before that is done. If you want to get in,

And then that's it and then we'll.

Get them out the well, I won't put the people involved, We'll get them out.

To you and we'll be we'll be good on that. Anything you want to promote.

You're flying back today any from Lost Wages Nevada, hopefully with some money in your pocket.

Yeah, thank you Lost Wages, a bunch of hookers and cocaine.

The fight was fantastic. Thank you to the win.

And it's going to be fun to get back to work because we are about to enter the new studio.

Yes, I have mixed emotions on the new studio. I'm sure we'll talk more about that on next weekend's podcast as we will react to what happened. But it is a new venture. It's it's wild to me this will be the third studio I will have broadcast from for Fox Sports Radio.

And that's that blows my mind that.

Here we are moving in Because I remember when the current studio opened up, and how excited everyone at the company was and it was like revolutionary And now it is a piece of shit. So we're moving into a brand new studio, which is great, and twenty years from now it will be a piece of shit. But I promise I will not be working here twenty years from now.

Wow, Well we've been that amazing wrap, the logo wrap they put on the walls.

Yeah, what's the over under?

For how many months it takes for the staff to pits all over it and fuck it up?

What we should do? And I'll put a note for next week's podcast.

We'll do.

How we call it.

We'll call it like bingo. We'll do bingo on who will destroy the studio? What will be the first thing that breaks in the new studio?

I like it.

I have some ideas, all right, So anyway, have a great rest of your Sunday. I'll be back on the radio tonight live God Willing. I will be broadcasting on Fox Sports Radio on the old terrestrial Ario, on the iHeartRadio app wherever you get your podcast worldwide, live show live streaming on the iHeart app and whatnot there and that'll start at eleven o'clock in the West on Sunday,

I gotta go.