The Fifth Hour: Dawgs, Mosquitos & Goats

different perspective than the overnight radio show. I did want to start though with this. We've got Tiger Blood's brother from a different mother, the Celebrity Matrix, But I wanted to start with last night's NFL game as I was flipping at the beginning of the baseball game, and I was watching baseball all day, so you don't have to watch baseball. That is my dedication to do the talk show. I watch a bunch of baseball. I always have it on the background, and I'm paying attention and I'm futzing

around with my laptop. I got my phone out. I'm doing a lot of different things. It's called the multitasking. I tell the wife, I'm spending lots of plates, lots of plates. So with that being said, I'm watching the Yankees in the Red Sox first couple of innings. There's not much going on, and I'm flipping over the football game, and I love my al Michaels. You know, I'm going back and forth, and like, the Niners just came out out and kicked the Rams ass in that Thursday night.

Came at the beginning of the game. They were clearly the better team. And I'm still recovering from the way the game ended, where the Rams actually lost the game twice, once in regulation. Then they got a reprieve from the forty nine ers, but they pretty much lost to give Kyrie Williams fumbling with a little over a minute to go inside the five yard line, and then the Rams got the ball back in overtime after the Niners had gotten a field goal because of that Fugezi special teams

play and I don't need to readjudicate the game. The Rams drove down the field. I have no problem with Sean McVay going for it, but man, the Rams. They have now gagged away two games, the Eagles game and the forty nine Ers game. No longer riding high. Sean McVay has stinkeye. That is a low water mark for the Rams. And we handicapped the game on Beni versus De Penny. Some of you idiots have been sending memo, well you got it, Wrongs are gonna win by at

least ten points. I can't believe that. Oh my god, you were so bad about you. Okay, listen, the handicapping was on point. The handicapping is on point. What you do is you base your opinion based on what has happened and the way teams have looked and the way they are performing and the injury report. You put all these different variables in. It's like making a stew You put in the carrots. You got to put in the other vegetables. You got to put some chicken in there.

Whatever you put in your stew, you got to put it in. So we handicap the game. And then that's why they play the games. The Rams did not show up. How are you supposed to handicap whether or not a team is going to be motivated. It always fascinates me when there are some teams that go out there every single week. They got a little spunk in them, right, they a little spunk in there. There's other teams that just don't give a damn. They have the I don't give an f attitude and the forty nine ers, I

give him credit. You know, it's the old line from that guy, David Bennett, the Coastal Carolina coach, like be a dog. We don't need no miows, all right, we don't need no cats. We need more dogsf earf and the Niners were hungry, hungry hippos, they were. They had a little spunk. The guys that played took advantage of it, and the and the Rams just did not match that, and yet still had a chance to win the game. And with a little more imagination they would have been there.

They I mean. The fact they had to jump start the team though and find some kind of spark at the beginning is in embarrassing. They went a wall in the first half. Mac Jones hasn't looked that good since he was back in Tuscaloosa. Holy crap. Forty nine ers backup quarterback. And now, if you want to help me out, by the way, subscribe to the YouTube channel for Benny Versus the Penny YouTube dot slash at Benny versus the Penny. Do me a solid, help me out on that. It's

a startup. We just started it this year. Can watch a full episode for week five, which is available now globally. You guys were complaining, well, the TV shows only on in America, I can't get Okay, all right, I got you, all right. So we're doing this. We're fussing around with this and so we were trying to build the viewership, viewership up and it isn't it exciting to watch this thing grow from nothing to something. We'd love for it at some point to be a monster. Man, would that

be cool. But we're doing it brick by brick, step by step. I'm not sweating over it. I'm letting you know it's available. If you want the product, you can have the product. I'm not shoving it down your throat. If you want the product, you can get the product. Help us climb the mountain, right go, Blood, sweat and tears, stick to itness. I learned that in that nineteen eighties baseball movie If you build it, he will come. Well, in this case, you will come. And why the channel

today is also National Body Language Day. Yeah, body language, which surprisingly I did not think I would need to know body language getting into sports talk radio. However, that has become a pretty good tool as a talk show host when you read the room because a lot of times the people involved in sports they don't say anything. They you know, they're locked up and they don't they

don't mess around with verbal communications. So you can tell, like you watch, it's just a lot in basketball, a little bit in football on the sidelines, even in baseball. You eye rolls, the slouching shoulders, the poudy lips, crossing arms, the bad posture, like all that stuff. There's like these little tells, these little little things where you know you're gonna have the icon Clint Eastwood, you know, the death glare,

all of that wonderful stuff. And so it's National Body Language Day, a day to celebrate the form of communication, which is all about physical behavior, facial expressions, posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and all that. Now, it is interesting to know that smiles can be deceptive. There are over nineteen different ways, over nineteen different ways one can smile. However, according to the people that study this, these scientists believe

there's only six that are for happiness. So there's thirteen smiles that don't mean happy. Who goofed. I've got to know. Eye contact can be good if it's the beautiful person you're trying to hook up with, or it can be bad. Unbroken eye contact is considered aggressive confrontational. Now, this is based on different regions of the country, like in Asia, Africa, Latin American countries. Unbroken eye contact is you're being you know, you're being too pushy. Don't be pushy, don't do the

tushery pushy, don't do it. There's also a factoid about the difference between men and women. And you know, typically men tend to touch their faces when they feel uncomfortable, where women will choose to touch their necks, their jewelry, or their hair. There's also if a you know, if you're dating, and I was married, but if you're dating.

I heard this years ago that women if they're really kind of into the person they're with, like they're flirtatious, they'll play with their hair while they're you know, kind of kind of chatting and all that. Like that's supposedly a dead giveawaya giveaway, that's a tael. That's a taell. You don't need to be altola. And when people tilt their heads they come across as more attractive some and yeah, and holding your arms behind your back. I remember rush

Limba had one arm tied behind my back. But holding your arms behind your back indicates that you don't want to be approached. Do not approach me. I can't have to do that more. I'm gonna have to leave my arms behind my back so people don't bother me. Flipping the page on that it's story time on the fifth hour podcast story Time. So I was watching recently the Netflix documentary about a fallen Hollywood star and reminded of that great era about fifteen years ago, when Charlie Sheen

once proclaimed that he had tiger blood. The phrase that belonged to the early twenty tens, in the same way that BlackBerry phones day. If you're old enough to remember BlackBerry phones and frosted tips, which you look at the phrase tiger blood. Tiger blood brash, absurd, kind of perfect, kind of perfect for a drugged out Charlie Sheen. Tiger blood was supposed to mean vitality, power, living on a manic cliff where the rest of us mere mortals dared

not tread. But here in twenty twenty five your favorite radio gas bag. Well for some overnight rock on tour. That sounds impressive. Well, I happen to be a brother from a different mother to Charlie Sheen in spirit, if not genetics. Now, I don't have tiger blood. I do not have tiger blood. I don't I checked in. I don't have tiger blood. However, I have my own version, which is like a spinoff version of tiger Blood. It's

Mosquito Blood. Mather's Mosquito Blood. It's the cheap knockoff. Now you can buy it if you go to CBS in the back shelf of CBS on the right hand side. It's tucked behind the bug spray. It's on that aisle and there's a little container right there at CBS, and

it's Malar's mosquito of blood. Because this week I have been I'm happy to report to you, my fellow minion and p one that is gonna above and beyond the call of duty by listening to this podcast, I have been a twenty four to seven all you can eat buffet for the flying vampires of the Animal Kingdom. I know, I know, Oh my god, Alf's freaking out over. It's gonna be okay. For a dog, it'll be okay. JT. The Wingman, don't worry about it. It's all. It's all good. Yeah.

So anyway, it's just been wild mosquitos. Look at me the way a fat guy looks at Golden Corral. Right, I'm just human flesh, and that's all they want. The airbone, airbone, the air airborne Ninja's right, the airborne ninjas of summer. The mosquitos lined up and some are supposedly over but never ends really in Los Angeles, lined up in squadrons. I'm convinced that right outside the house here there's squadrons, and they plan their attack in convoys. So if Charlie

Sheen's Tiger Blood was supposedly an anabolic steroid. My mosquito blood is a clearance bin Malar's mosquito blood clearance bin protein shake kind of mixed with tap water. And that's it. And here's the craziest part. As you know, I am not exactly Grizzly Adams over here, Like I'm not out there chopping wood. It looks like I would be the kind of guy with chop wood wearing a flannel shirt. No,

my outdoors consists of going from this this studio. I'll walk out of the studio, I walk down, I'll walk down flight of stairs or two or three or whatever, and I'll go out to the door or go out the front door. I'll go to the car, I'll grab some groceries, I'll pump some gas. I'll maybe haul out the trash once a week. And yet it doesn't matter. Even though I live a sedentary lifestyle, the mosquitoes still find me. They're like door dash drivers with wings. Right.

If you exist, they know where you are. Uber eats our guy in Minnesota, he's I know where mallor is? I know? Yeah? So call me Benny the Daredevil. Another nickname Benny the Daredevil, the modern day Evil Canevl, Although you probably don't know who that is. If you're of a certain age, you know exactly who evil Canevl is. Except instead of jumping canyons on my harley, I am daring nature's most efficient killer to make a meal out of me, because I am Benny the Daredevil. Yeah, let's

remember refresher course. Mosquitoes aren't just a nuisance. No no, no, yeah, that's right. They're not gnats at a barbecue or you know, you're flying around like a house fly, flying around, buzzing, you're sa much in your chips. They are the deadliest animal in the world. Sharks, overrated, overrated snakes, scary king kobra, scary black mamba, scary but manageable lions. They barely crack

the list. Mosquitoes are the grim reapers with wings. They are responsible for an estimated seven hundred thousand deaths a year. That almost one million people year exit this mortal coil because of mosquitos and malaria, West Nile, a bunch of other stuff. Take your pick. They're dealing the cards, and here I am just casually playing Russian Roulette every time I take out the recycling. Now, the science of being a snack. There's actual science here. Oh no, there's not.

Ben Yes, there is. I have no life, which only makes this whole saga funnier sadder a little bit of both at the same time. So after a minutes long Mallar investigation determined that mosquitoes apparently love blood, but a special type of blood. Type Oh, that is their go to. That is their fentanyl, That is their crack, That is what they love. They prefer it like the rest of us prefer French fries to kale. We'd rather have a big plate of cheese curds than a plate of broccoli.

They land on those with TYPEO nearly twice as often as Type A. Now, if I've got old blood, oh well, I'm basically a Michelin star meal walking around in the boondocks here and imagine imagine this way. I guess the way I just have it. Some people are charcuterie boards, others are gas station beef jerking. Now I happen to be. I've determined a Vegas buffet ninety nine cents with a coupon, with a coupon, and mosquitoes aren't really picky about like the zip code. It's not well, you live in a

neighborhood with mosquitoes. They are global, they have a global operation. They are forget about the mob or terrorist cells. No, no, no, They're found everywhere but Antarctica. They're like Starbucks, ubiquitous, annoying and popping up in places you didn't think needed one there. They thrive in jungles and swamps and apparently the driveway at the Malor Mansion very popular. They have conventions there, they get together. It's like the Shriners. That's the Moose Lodge. Now.

Their goal is to cause havoc and they're very good at it. Their global reach makes them to use the sports analogy the Lebron James of pest. Many of you tell me Lebron James is a pest. Yeah, usually in the playoffs, always somewhat relevant. And no matter how much you wish Lebron would go away, like you wish mosquitos would go away, they are never quite going away. They're just not now. In the end, maybe mosquito blood is the perfect metaphor for the year twenty twenty five. We

only got a few months to go here. You gotta get through the rest of October November December and then that's it, see you later, bye bye. Right, But it's pretty good metaphor because tiger blood back in the day was about being untouchable, unstoppable, and immortal, at least in

your own head. Mosquito blood, Mather's Mosquito Blood. It's about being relentlessly nibbled, eaten, alive, one little bite at a time, fighting off nature's smallest assassin while still I just, you know, dragging out the trash of the curb and again going back to the nickname here, Benny the Daredevil, who knew that taking trash of the curb would make you a daredevil, and yet, like Evil Canevil flying a motorcycle over buses, I wear this as a merit badge I do. I

do the Daredevil of the driveway, Benny the Daredevil. Every welt of battlescar. You know, women are impressed by that. I think. I don't think my wife is. But every itch a reminder that I'm still alive, baby, Because I don't know that Mosquito's kind of bite dead people. I don't think. Maybe they do. That's a good question. I have no idea, But I'm still standing for now, still talking into a microphone with you on this podcast and overnight when the rest of the world is fast asleep.

So Charlie Sheen had his tiger blood, I've got the mather of mosquito blood, and in twenty twenty five. Let's be honest here, mosquito blood feels a lot more relatable, doesn't it. I'm more relatable to you because I am one of you and all we're all together in this. We're all together, all right, flipping the page quickly. We

have the celebrity matrix. Now. I mentioned this briefly in passing on the air, and I got a lot of feedback on it, and so I wanted to expand on it here on this platform that I have with the microphone, which is I gotta come up with the name of It's like, it's not the bully Pulpit, because the bully pulpit's the radio, because it's everywhere. You know, you have to track down this podcast. You have to find the fifth hour podcast. It's not omni present. It's something you

have to track down. So it's not the bully Pulpit. So if you guys want to send me a suggestion on what we should call the podcast, the baby pulpit.

Tom Brady. Tom Brady said he knew I show speed. And if you're asking yourself, who, congratulations, you live in the real world. And I'm going to give you a high five. I am. I'm giving you an air of high five right now. You live in the real world. Now, let's be honest about this. So Tom Brady, my opinion, does not know I show speed. He didn't know who this person was. He's pretending to know I show speed. Who's a YouTuber and TikToker and all that. Brady's forty

eight years old. He's the father. I think he's got three kids. He's divorced. He's got a TV gig on Fox. He's semi retired from football, he's permanently retired from gluten. And he's not pulling all nighters watching YouTube streamers and watching gamers like that is not happening. It is not. He's eating his avocado ice cream, he's wearing his therapeutic pajamas. He's he's using his vibrating foam rollers. He's got his loop bands, he's got all that stuff, a lot of electrolytes,

and that's it. That's all he's not. He's not futzing around with his other stuff. He's not watching people wearing headsets while they're playing video games. He's not scrolling Twitch. He's not smashing subscribe buttons. He's my friend, you know, he's my eight not my friend, but he's he's parroting

something a handler or an agent. Somebody said, Hey, Tom, this guy's really hot right now on the socials, So why don't we do a We'll do a get together, a meet and greet, and then you'll be cooler and the you know, these other people that aren't normally fancy or they'll be into it. And so it's like some social media manager, some moderator whispered into Tom Brady's ear to make him look plugged in. Right, you're Tom Brady, you're plugging. This is the new currency of fame, and

that's really my point. And I got some angry emails from people that I guess know who this guy I show speed is, and they're like, you're you're such an old man. I can't believe you said that. Listen again to me. You are famous if you are known by a large amount of people, thus fam like you don't Nowadays, you don't have to be universally recognized anymore to be considered famous. And it's just something that's changed in my lifetime.

You can be what I call algorithm famous, silo famous. Right, You're very famous in a silo famous inside one bubble where you draw tens of millions, some of them real, some of them not. But outside of the bubble you do not exist. Your fame is not there. Now when I think of fame, I think of Taylor Swift. You don't have to google Taylor Swift. You don't have to ask three friends, what does that woman do? Everyone knows, like, even if you've never heard of a full Taylor swift

song and you're not a fan of that music. You know the name, you know the deal. That's real to me, that's old school, that's fame. I show Speed. I had to google him. Then I asked people in my circles. I said, listen. I started sending messages on my phone. I'm futzing around my phone. I'm saying, listen, do you know who this is? And a few of the people in my circles said, I've heard the name, but I

don't really know what they actually do. I just know that there's somewhat famous because I've heard about and that is my point. That's me dotting the ie like the Ohio State Marching Band. If you're truly famous, somebody in the room should be able to explain explain it without pulling out a search bar, like this isn't a knock on, I show Speed. I don't know the guy. He's a young guy. He's doing very well for himself. I wish

him well. I hope he makes a fortune. Apparently he is, according to the Internet, he's making a lot of money. But I don't care about that, you know, because you can't take it with you, and you only have it for a little bit and you can all go away. It doesn't matter. You know, money's great to have. I would love to have more of it, but you know, so be it. The point is, again, his kind of fame,

I show speed is compartmentalized. It's engineered by the social media matrix and where relevance is manufactured and then sold back. And I've seen it. I've seen how they make the hot dogs. I've ranted about it all the time on this podcast. It just it's not typically organic. It is the land of manipulation. It is a vortex where people get sucked in and can't tell what's real and what's not.

We've talked about over the last couple months the people that went famous in music on TikTok and then they got signed to go on tour and do concerts, and it turns out that he didn't really have many real fans, at least people that didn't want to buy tickets because they the people were the followers, were being paid for and bought and all that stuff. So that's that's the point. Listen, Brady knows the game. He's trying to stay relevant. It gets harder the older you get, and the world keeps

moving and then eventually it moves on from you. Even Tom Brady, as the great Terry Bradshaw told me when I did radio with him back you know a million years ago, that every day that goes by, from the moment you stop playing a sport, your relevancy goes down. There's a direct correlation. I don't need to get a ven diagram, but Terry explain it now. To Terry's credit, he's had thirty years on Fox something along those lines, maybe longer breaking NFL games down at all, which is

good to him. But there's people that don't even know Terry played in the NFL and they have no idea anyway, The point is about Tom Brady. So Tom Brady's not competing with Peyton Manning anymore. He's not playing in the super Bowl. He's competing with Fox on Sundays. He's competing with the algorithm. And the algorithm doesn't care that you threw six hundred and forty nine touchdown passes or whatever it was. It cares whether you know the hot streamer of the week, the flavor of the week. And my

position is Brady doesn't know. He's just pretending because that is how you survive in the matrix. That's it. That's how you play the game. It's like the red carpet. Just pretend that's entertainment. There's the other kind of fame, the kind I prefer. It is smaller, yes, however more authentic, overnight sports talk radio fame. There's a guy named Hollering James. So I met a couple years back at a mallor

meet greet in Minnesota. It was a brief get together, and every single time Hollering James, every single time Hollering James calls up. Inevitably, if he's on the air for more than ninety seconds, we'll mention I met you at the Mermaid. It is flattering to me, right, But overnight sportshalk for radio fame. It is not glossy. It doesn't trend on TikTok, and it will not get you a Cryptos sponsorship. But it's real. It's the cult classic version,

the cult classic version of celebrity. A gathering of insomniacs right from different backgrounds, different financial classes, all that stuff, different backgrounds, religiously, but we are united. We are creatures of the night. Truck drivers, fry cooks, people making donuts, night shift cops, night shift robbers, full time weirdos who call themselves the malor militia, my homeboys, and my cult.

That's fame you can't trust, right, can't trust The people who call at three seventeen am Eastern are not pretending. They know you, They quote you. They live in your corner of the world, not because of an algorithm telling them to no no, no, no no, because they chose to right. And so yeah, Tom Brady can say, hey, I know I show speed and you could play in the NFL, and maybe some people will believe them. There's

always a gullible percentage of people. But fame that requires pretending isn't fame requires pretending isn't really fame, all right. I mean, I don't know if I'm saying this right, but fame that needs google isn't really fame. Let me say it that way. So again, this is my personal preference. You give me the other kind, give me your tie, your poor, your huttle masses yearning to breathe free. Lukewarm

sports takes overnight. To me, that's real, that's lasting, right, That's the kind of fame that Tom Brady doesn't have anymore because he's not playing and I show speed. We'll never have because of the way that the matrix is set up. So fame is not dead, it's not, it just is different. It got trapped in the algorithm and the only way, the only way out is at two or three or four in the morning on AM talk radio.

Although we are on FM in many cities now some of the bigger cities we're on FM Sports Talk radio, which is which is pretty cool. All right, we'll get out on that. I have a new podcast tomorrow. Danny g will check in. We'll have I think i'll check it.

That's just a random thing that popped in my head from an old radio friend, Victor Brigg Jacobs back in the day. Anyway, have a great rest of your Friday. I am going to go to bed and I will wake up and we might even do an ask ben. So if you want to subscribe, I don't know if it subscribes the right word, but if you follow me on social media, I haven't decided whether we're doing it on X we might do it on Facebook. Haven't done one on Facebook in a while. Maybe I'll even do both.

Maybe I'll even do both. Who knows, uh, but check that out sometimes to do. I think I'll have some time tonight and we'll chat with you then, and as Danny likes to say, later, skater asta pasta riva, dj heloha. I don't know what else to say. I'm getting out of here, Bye Dandy. By Felicias