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It's a clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
The air everywhere back in the podcast dojo, as it is our Saturday podcast, Big Night, Tonight, Big Afternoon, actually not night, Big Afternoon.
The Malard Meet and greet is today. I hope you heard Andy, the comic book guy who is kind enough to open his store to us this afternoon. All that information on the Friday podcast, but we're looking forward to seeing you. And I'm excited about this podcast because the much anticipated return of a man whose life has been changed forever. I think we should call this podcast father Knows Best, Fatherly Advice. Now from Daddy G Radio, Welcome back, Danny G. My man.
Oh yeah, Now, whenever I play the infamous Daddy drop on the podcast, it has a whole new meaning.
Daddy Congratulations man, I'm very excited for you and your lovely wife.
There.
You guys, everything seems to be going pretty well now, right, You got a little bit of a routine at this point.
It's been a few days of things kind of settling down into a routine as far as the baby, eating, pooping, diaper change, napping for just a little bit, and then waking up and putting it all on repeat.
Yeah, it's quite amazing, the whole thing of life, because you start out needing that, and then when you're about to check out, if you're lucky enough to live long enough, you need people to feed you and to wipe your tooks. It's fascinating how that works. But the kid looks great. Everything I've seen, all the photos are awesome. You've been posting a lot of stuff and so it's it's been cool to see. And you've got to get that daily grind, right. I guess it's going to change a lot like the
first few years of the kid. It's every month it changes, right. Yeah.
It's interesting because you know, because all of a sudden, you're more worried about some little human than yourself, and you're constantly checking on this baby, even when it's snapping because you're like, is he blocking his nose in his mouth with his hands?
What is he?
You know, you've got your eye on this little baby. Twenty four to seven. And then the hospital is like, oh, you have your first doctor's appointment the next day. And so the next day we're in the car and we're taking this kid to a doctor's appointment. And I'm like, but we just left the hospital. Why are we back at a doctor's appointment. And she's like, oh, you got to come back next week too, And I was like, man, shit, this.
Is going to be never ending. Yeah.
Yeah, and make sure you bring your checkbook with you when you come back. And yeah, well, because they have to do all the measurements right and all. That's like it's like buying a car. You got to make sure everything's working, all the spark plugs and all that stuff are working. Make sure everything's are right.
It's more like getting a lemon if you got to bring it to the mechanic every week.
That's a fair point. That's a point. Fair point. And the other thing which is fascinating is that you know, this is obviously we're in a advanced country, but there's a lot of people around the world that don't live in places like this that are having kids. And methinks, Danny, they're not not going to the doctor every week, you know what I mean? You know, just it's better off doing it. But there is a path to not necessari
necessarily doing it. And then you have to wait a little while to get all like the shots, right, you have to get those kid shots at some point, so I don't know how long they wait for that. But there's a whole there's a whole list they have all like a laundry list, right of stuff you have to go through step by step with the kid, dude.
And some of these nurses inside we went to like the Mini Kaiser here where we live locally, and the nurse who took us back into our room, I swear to.
God, Ben I'm a doctor.
She was uncoordinated, she was lost at what she was doing. She measured the kid's head in centimeters instead of inches.
Oh boy.
We found this out when the doctor came in and was like, what whoa You know? The doctor thought the kid had the world's largest melon.
Yeah.
And also she pulled up the computer to try to schedule us for all these dumb appointments that probably aren't necessary until the kid needs the shots, like you said, yeah, because yeah, it's just basically the weigh and measure.
And my wife he's like, he's eating too much. I'm not worried about any of that.
So she's like, you know, looking in the computer, she's like, I don't understand what's going on.
There is nothing available all next week.
I don't get it. She was in two thoy and twenty two in her computer.
That would make it a little difficult. But if you had a DeLorean, Danny could go back and you might be able to worry. So you had any walking disasters and nurse that's too bad, Yes, either having a bad day or she's just generally be draggled, I guess. So then you get at some point you're gonna get the I always love the measurables, right that you are the percentile, you're in this percentile or that percentile, and they got
the mat. That's the early analytics, Danny, that's the analytics for your son will be or in this percentile for or weight or right. I mean, so you got that in.
The early signs are he will be an NFL linebacker?
And what team will you be playing for the.
Las Vegas Raiders are all be very upset.
Well, by the time your son is twenty in his early twenties, when most people play in the NFL, the Raiders will likely have moved on from Vegas. They'll move on somewhere, don't they move every like twenty twenty five years or so. It seems like it.
Just get us that bullet train that we need and it'll basically be part of Los Angeles.
It's a suburb of LA It's just that's the way it is.
So.
But I did see the photo your son partaking in the family bonding there. You were watching the Raider game.
It's his first silver and Black Sunday, even though it's practiced football. It was Raiders Niners in Vegas where the Raiders put the whoop in all over the forty nine ers, and he proudly wore his Raider Onesie.
Yeah, he looked good too. That's a good looking, good looking photo there, And I'm sure you will use that when he grows up to become a cowboy fan. You will use that as evidence to say, from the very beginning, before you were even like, you know, two weeks old, you were wearing that Raider stuff.
So I almost feel like Ben that I should pose him in lots of different NFL gear. That way, if he does finally make it to the NFL Draft someday, we can pull out some bullshit story about how he grew up a fan of that team.
That's a great idea. Yeah, that's that's solidesdays. Can just photoshop it, but it would be more fun, like with you in it. You know, they do like the father's son and you get your wife in there, the mom, the whole family there. I get the other kids around there, and uh yeah.
I'd dream come true.
When I was before I even knew what a football was. So have you been getting sleep? People have been emailing asking I know, we get the mail bag tomorrow, but people have been asking Danny about You know a lot of guys that have kids. They are like, oh, I'm sure Danny's not sleeping anymore. How's he going to handle working and all that stuff? So has it been terrible? Do you have the the shifts down? Are you doing I assume you're doing part of the day and then
the wife's doing the rest of it. Wrong, how's it work?
We don't have our schedules down yet because for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday the Covino and Rich Show, and I were doing the Dan Patrick Show.
Pleasure to be here this week for Dan Patrick. Yes, there's a there's a piece that comes with you.
I mean, look at like I said, Jamar Chase is having to go to court to tell a one night stand to stop bothering my mother, my family.
He's worried about it. Yeah.
So no, no, peace of mind better than piece of booty.
He's not kidding.
And there was a moment last night where I was holding my new son, Koa, and I looked at him and I was like, holy crap, what did I do?
No, I'm kidding. It's such a blessing. There there are.
Times where you know, you look back and you're like, yeah, single days in your twenties or thirties, it's it's a lot of fun. But peace of mind you can't beat it.
As you know, you got to wake your butt up at four am for that early morning show. I was in the studios by five am and then home around brunch time. So when I and when I got home, I needed a nap, but first hold the baby and wash bottles and relieve my wifey a little bit. She has been a trooper. Man, She's doing most of the hard work. I'm just her rn, if you know what I'm saying. I'm her assistant.
Yeah, And I mean it's got to be scary, right because it's the kids so fragile, right, It's like it's got to be like, you know, you will wait a little bit till the kid gets bigger, but you got to keep an eye on it.
And man, it's yeah, it's like in high school when they made it carry those stupid eggs around. You know, I didn't break mine, Thank god I got a good grade in that class.
But it's just like that, and you have this new sense.
Of worrying about somebody that you have this really strong connection to. Immediately the moment he started crying when he was delivered.
Blank my blank and blank you.
I can't even explain the experience. Strange, almost like how do you see? Can't put it into words, And parents would always tell me that can't explain it to you, you have to go through it. And now that I've gone through it, I understand it. Can't really explain it except I feel like I have a GPS as I get further away from him, closer to work, I'm more worried and I have a little more anxiety based on the fact that I want to know that he's good all the time.
So now you have to make the house like the Pentagon, where you have cameras every or I guess at Vegas Casino would be a better I think that more cameras in Vegas than they do the Pentagon. Just get air camera everywhere, and then when the kid gets a little older, you'll put like an Apple tag and air tag, yes, inside the kid, just to keep track, just in case the kid goes anywhere there you'll be able to keep track completely. And that's that's the way to Have you been eating regularly?
Did I know?
I have heard friends of mine that I've had kids. You have a kid, you know you eat a little a little more off hours. Has that started for you? Or have you been able to avoid the leftovers and the cold pizza and the half eaten turkey sandwich and that kind of stuff.
You know?
It's funny because my in laws brought over these delicious lemon cakes. We didn't even eat any of them because we were like, okay, that's the kind of crap we were eating while she was pregnant, and now the right portions, there's like the right proteins on the plate now the past few days. And so my girl already has transitioned to all right, now, I gotta lose this baby weight.
I'm healing right now.
And you know, when she puts her mind to anything, she kicks ass at it. So what's going to happen now is she's going to go back to eating very healthy like she did before she got pregnant. And there's not going to be a lot of in and out runs anymore the way there was when she was making this guy.
So bad news for the local in and out Burger and several other doll Taco bell. Sorry, but that that's over. That's over for now. So it's like training camp. You got to get back in shape, right, You got to get back and that whole thing. And that'll take a while.
This new weird schedule that I'm creating somewhere in there, I have to at least add swimming or you know, cardio or something where I'm getting my ass in gear again because I definitely also have some baby weight to lose.
Well, the move here from what I've heard from buddies of mine that have had kids, is the three wheeled stroller and the pushy pushy and where you go for the walk and I don't know, it's not great cardio, but at least your body's moving, you're getting out. You can take the kid with you. He'll probably sleeping the whole time. Make sure it's covered so they don't get most of the sun or whatever, but that could be the way to do it.
We have one of those fancy strollers that the kid pops off, it turns into a car seat.
Oh nice.
Yeah, and the stroller part of it is still in the garage. I need to put that part together. So I'm sure we'll be ready to take walks next year.
So are you still in the I don't know if honeymoon stage is the right place, but I've I've also heard from my friends that have had the kids that when you first have the kid, like everyone wants to help you out, and then after a while they might come and see the kid, but you're kind of you're on you know, But I think you're still in that nice period right where people like bringing your food and stuff and they're like, hey, what can we do let's help you out a little.
It's funny that you ask about that, because that was one of my Wifey's takeaways after we got home. She's like, where are all the meals that I thought friends and friendly would bring over? Instead it was us ordering Instacart and doing Costco and ordering from the grocery store where you just go park in their special parking space where they load the back of your car, you know, Like I said her, I said in laws. It was my
mother in law. She came over with groceries. And then my girl's dad came and visited the baby just for a few minutes this past weekend, and that was pretty cool. And they brought some things, and they brought a nice little Costco meal for us. That was nice. But other than that, nothing. There's been some things in the mail. There was actually a few packages, some clothing from the mal Or Militia. Oh nice Camion company. Yeah, yeah, a lot of it raiter related.
That was cool.
Yeah, there's been things in the mail. It was and you back up a few months. It was a really cool baby shower and registry and like you and your lovely wife gave us a really really cool gift that's been in total use right now, and so you know, I feel like I feel very grateful for anything that anybody gives you to help out, because it is a stressful time financially. The fact that we had to do some of our own grocery shopping right now not a
big deal. I think my wife was just kind of kidding more than anything, because she was like, I didn't think i'd have to be cooking or in the kitchen, and I was like, yeah, well you're stubborn. Go sit down, I'll make you something. She's obviously the better cook than I am, so that's why she wants to get back into the kitchen so.
Badly understandable, you know, from what I've heard, Danny, it's a fiasco when you're in the option there. But you know, it's certain things like it's really hard to mess up air fryer stuff, like you know, it's like that's stuff. It's pretty much set it and forget it. It's it's hard to have a catastrophe in the kitchen when you do the air fire and all that. But anyway, congratulations that I'm happy for. It's great and I'm sure we'll get many updates on the changing world of your son
here as we as we move forward. I did want to also mention on this being the Saturday podcast the Northeaster. I call it the unexpected trip that I had last week, and I hope you enjoyed the podcast. We made sure to have original podcast even though I was away on assignment and I was unable to You were away, Danny, because you had obviously your fatherly duties. I was traveling and this was not a trip that I had planned way in advance. It was only a short amount of
time and I ended up in Boston. I had a great time. I can't really get too deep into it yet. Hopefully soon, probably very soon, I'll be able to give you some information on it. But it was mostly in Boston, but I ended up having a little bit starting.
The East Coast wing of Chippendale's.
Yes, I've decided to branch out from being the overnight guy and I want to give people nightmares. I'm going to start Chippendales for fat guys, for the women who love fat men, and I think that's a great way to go and what could possibly go wrong with that? So Yeah, I was in Boston and I hit all the new England States. Though I did not hit Vermont, I was gonna see Arnie span Your I figured, you know, I was in Boston, I had, I had. I decided to stay a little bit longer so I could enjoy
Boston because I had some work stuff. But and then I went to UH I called. I text Arnie. The first thing about this, Danny g is now, I used to work with Arnie a long time ago. We've known each other for way too long. But I went. I typed Arnie's number into my phone to text him, and I had not sent him a text in over ten years. It was like eleven years the last time I sent a text, So like, oh man, that's a lot I want.
I didn't even know it was still this number. So I sent a text, and I kind of was vague because I wasn't sure. I thought maybe Arnie changed his number because it was like an I think it was an LA number, and he's in Vermont the area code. So I sent him a message and he wrote back and he's like, who's this, which tells me he deleted my number from his phone, you know what. Either that or it was somebody else. So we're going back and
forth and it turns out it was Arnie. So then I'm like, all right, you know, you know I'm in Boston. I love to see you, I know, maybe go lunch or something dinner. And he's like, he's like, it's like two and a half three hours from where I was to where he is. And I was like, I don't know about that. Yeah, So I didn't do it, but I do want to get to Vermont. I will see Arnie at some point when I get back to Boston. But I didn't get to Vermont. But we made it
all the other New England states. I the wife had not been to Rhode Island. I had been to Rhode Island. So we did the full New England one day trip from Provident and we drove down to Providence, Rhode Island. Here's a fun fact. We went to rent a car
because I usually did not have a car. So we went to this small commuter airport, which is a private airport outside Boston, which is where Robert Craft and Bill Belichick and Gronk well he used to have he's not there anymore, but Belichick and Craft have their private plane, and Brady used to fly out of this private airport, and so the guy at the rental car place, you know, typical Boston, New England guy. You know, he's rapping about it.
And all these people that come into the airport. You know, it's no commercial, it's no public, it's just for some reason, they at a rental car place, but it's a private airport. And he's like, oh yeah, yeah. Robert Craft comes to you know, he's very nice, very polite. You know, everyone loves him. Belichick, you know, total jerk. He doesn't talk to anybody. And then he was talking about great Gronk
was and all that. So but got the car and then we ended up partly because the Uber driver to get to the runner car place is like, oh eh, you go down to Rhode Island, you know, And I had been to Rade Island. My wife had not been. So we ended up driving down to Rhode Island, Providence, Rhode Island, capital of Rhode Island, the small estate and it's only like it was like forty five miles or whatever from where we were. So we drove down there,
and then my wife had to have breakfast. I'm not a breakfast guy, Danny's you know, but my wife's like, we got to get breakfast. So we stopped at this place in Pawtucket, which was important to me because when I was a kid, the Red Sox Triple A team was in paw Tucket. So it's always a town I had heard of, even though I went to a Red Sox fan. But I remember this guy, Kevin Kennedy. Remember Kevin Kennedy, the old course, Yeah, the old Red Sox manager.
He worked at Fox Sports Radio. And Kevin was part of a game the past Socks played in which was like the longest game in professional baseball history. And so I was when I was driving through there, I was kind of looking around. I was like, oh, no, I know, the team's not there anymore, at least the Triple A team's not there anymore. Then we went to We went from there, we went back up through Salem. My wife loves Salem. That's her favorite town in Massachusetts. Salem. We
stopped there, it's the famous Witch's Place. And then I went to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. I'd never been to New Hampshire. It was beautiful, you know. It reminded me of for those that have not been like Santa Barbara, but in East Coast Santa Barbara, that kind of like a night It's like Santa Barbara with that New England flavor to it. And then we kept going and we drove up to Portland, Maine, and I had never been to Maine. A lot of signs to watch out of the moose, a lot of trees,
and I really liked Portland, Maine. It was I thought it was outstanding. It was really cool. A lot of restaurants, a lot of bars, a lot of night life people out and enjoined them. So the weather was great, so it was kind of cool. And then leaving Maine that night on the way back to Boston, ended up driving through one of the worst rain storms I had ever
driven through. We we saw we were watching we were having dinner at this restaurant in Portland and they had the Red Sox game on and there's like a little rain at the Red Sox game. They were playing the I think they're playing the Royals that night. There's like a little rain. It was like, you know whatever, I thought, it's not that bad. I don't mind driving in the rain if it's not that bad. So we didn't even bother looking. I should have looked at one of the
weather apps. So we get on the road. I stayed in Portland, Maine, probably after midnight by the time we Yeah, maybe not. I was close to midnight by the time we got on the road back to Boston. And so I'm driving and all of a sudden starts raining. It
was kind of a light rain. And then a few more miles down the road right right between you know, the end of the road from Maine, like the last twenty miles from Maine into New Hampshire, and then in New Hampshire, just horrifically bad rain, like we were waiting for Noah's Ark to pull up alongside us, and just brutal. And it was like that for most of the way back to Boston. One of the worst decisions I've made to make that I should have waited. I was like, ah,
I let the storm pass, but didn't do it. And then I went back to Boston and we had a fine, fine day there at the North End. I did all the usual spots went down. I actually I took a boat tour, not a boat tour, just we cruised around a boat in the harbor and did not get to a Red Sox game. There were a couple of reasons
for that. Tickets very expensive, and my brother who drove up from New York to hang out, my sister in law, and my wife not sports people, So it would have just been for me, and it would have been a lot of money for people that aren't really like sporty people.
Yeah, it would have been a waste of money.
It was just me and my wife. I probably would have done it, and I actually had a connection if we had been able to go to one of the games with the Royals. I actually know I know somebody who probably could have gotten some freebies, but I didn't. They're playing the Tigers on Friday, and I don't know anybody from Detroit. So so that was that. So that was my Nor Easter experience. But I we'll have probably
some more details on that coming up. There's some things that may or may not have been left on the cutting room floor. Danny.
Yes, And you know you always learned something on the Fifth Hour podcast. You were in the OJ Portland because I remember learning in school that Portland, Maine was founded much sooner than the West Coast counterpart.
Yeah, it wasn't the I heard the story too, and they were the Portland in Oregon. They didn't they do it like a flip. They were gonna call it either Portland or was it Portland or Salem or Portland or Boston. And they decided on Portland. Weren't they deciding between? I think if I remember hearing the story correctly, it was like a flip of the coin or a vote or
something like that. But it was either Portland. They're gonna name it off Portland, Maine, or they're gonna name it off another New England city like Salem or Boston.
I think it was like sixty five years that Portland, Maine was there before Portland, Oregon.
So if you ever wonder which Portland came.
First, now you know the rest of the story, and that is not the town called Portlandia that is that is different. All right, So here's the history of Portland or this is the kind of content you need on the fifth hour. This shows you we are versatile, Danny. We are very versatile on this podcast. So how did Portland get the name? In eighteen forty five, the name of Portland was chosen for the community by a coin toss.
It was a coin. Yeah, they flipped a coin to the side and they were versus the coin, says the two people involved in this. Oh yeah, I think I kind of got most of it right. I think I think I got kind of We're just talking on my ass. I think I got a lot of it right. So the site of the future city of Portland, Oregon, was known as American, Canadian and British, known to American, Canadian and British traders, trappers, and settlers going back to the
eighteen thirties early eighteen forties. It was known as the Clearing and it was small stopping place along the west bank of the Big River there used by travelers to go between Oregon City and Fort Vancouver. And so there was a Tennessee pioneer William Overton and Boston, Massachusetts lawyer Assa love Joy. I believe I might have been mispronouncing
the first name Asa Asa. Is it Awsa Awesome? I don't know anyway, So this is a person of Tennessee, person from from Boston, and they they were trying to figure out what to call it. And Overton sold his half of the claim to this other person, Francis Petty Grove of Portland, Maine, and they flipped a coin to side. Petty Grove won, and then this guy loved Joy, sold his half of the land and the rest is history.
It would have been great to be alive back then because we would have been millionaires.
Yeah, you could have just named crap after yourself or whatever you felt like and have a fine time.
Right, Tom, cruise on a horse. Then just plant your flag in the land that you.
Want exactly, exactly. Why don't we have the phrase of the week. You want the phrase of the week, Danny, I know you need the phrase of the week. Let's go, Well, this is your bally Hood. Return to the podcast. You're much bally Hood. Return to the podcast. And the phrase, which actually the word of the week this week is bally Hood, bally Hood.
So I only have a little production piece where it's me and with echo saying phrase of the week.
This is word of the week.
Yeah, this is totally different. This is nothing like the phrase of the week. Okay, nothing, let me.
Do a remix. Then the word of the week.
The word word word word is bally Hoo. It's a fun word. It's in my lexic. I don't use it all the time. I use it occasionally. I'll probably use it more after this on the Fifth Hour podcast. So bally Who is a word that dates back only to the eighteen hundreds. It's not that old. The word it's it's common usage is dated back to nineteen oh eight. It's from circus carnie slang, and it's supposed to be a short sample of a side show. So bally who is circus jargon for a short sample of a sideshow.
It was used to lure customers in the early nineteen hundreds, and that's the origin. It obviously goes back further than that. The word was used in a various colloquial senses. They say the word experts in the eighteen nineties. And there's even a town, a village in County Cork, Ireland. Bally Hooley is the name of it, which scen Ireland dates way back before nineteen hundred. But they don't know for sure where the phrase originally started other than the common usage,
which comes from America. They say they're in nautical lingo. Bally who was a sailor's contemptuous word for any vessel they disliked. They actually took it from a Spanish word, So there you go. The word of the week, not the phrase of the week. The word of the week, the word of the week, Bally who. It is Saturday today, Danny, I have the big Mallard meet and greet, and you, of course have father duty today. So I will be at a comic book shop with Andy, the comic book guy.
Eddie's going to be there for one hour. So if you want to see Eddie and you're hearing this in the morning, you want to be there from two o'clock till three o'clock. I'll be there till from two until at least four o'clock. If people are still hanging out, I'll stay longer than that if people want to talk to me. Otherwise I'm gone. But I plan I'll be on at least till four impossibly longer, and I will be baking. I'll be bringing I should say I already
baked them. I'll be bringing Danny my homemade chocolate chip cookies. And I saw this.
I saw this on your post about the event, and it made me want to pack up my week and a half old baby and come join the fun.
Yeah yeah, oh yeah, could be a rock star there. But so I'm baking the cookies, and I'm using a hack that I got from Alf the Alien Opiner. So if the cookies suck. I'm gonna blame out. But alf is on TikTok. He's a cool hipster on TikTok. Seah, I'm not on TikTok, but he sent me this video on how to. People said my cookies were too flat, so I need to fatten up my cookies. I need to have my cookies stand attention. So I there's a little hack. We'll see how it goes, and I'm gonna
make as many cookies as it gonna make. And then when we run out of cookies, that's it game, you know.
So some Aaron Rodgers mushrooms to fatten those babies up.
Yeah, all right, and uh and that's it. So we'll put the baby to bed and we'll have another podcast on on Sunday. So we'll be back with the mail bag. And I also have some other stuff we can mix into the Sunday podcast. We have pop Goo's the Culture. There's some Safari Kingdom stuff that's in there as well. So we got a lot of stuff for you, including the mail bag on Sunday. Right, well, chat with you then.
Can't wait mail mother Sucker and later Skater Gotta murder. I gotta go