Kubbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
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The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere. Welcome in Happy Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, the ninth day of December, as we are slaving over the hot microphones of the podcast, myself Ben with Danny g As. We're hanging out with you here all weekend long, and it is our Saturday podcast on the fifth Hour, which means all about the life of Mouth or the life of Danny g. We've got the craftsman, sword fighting, the foody fun, which is always good. We're supposed to
get to that yesterday. We didn't get to it. Backscratcher, the idiom of the week, which we probably won't have time for, but we're going to attempt. We're going to attempt all of that content and anything we don't get to we will just push to the Sunday podcast is we have normally normally Yeah, but we'll start with this today, a big day, the ninth day of December, the social event of the year is taking place, unless it's not, but it is on like Donkey Kong in Malortown. We
can use that name because that podcast was canceled. Mallard Town. The Party Extravaganza, the twenty twenty three Ugly Sweater Party is tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight. Excited to welcome friends, family inside the walls of the Malor Mansion. Be a lot of food, hopefully some fun one I'm sure alcohol will be flowing. It's been a hectic It's been a hectic week year as we crossed the t's and dot
the ash trying to get ready for this thing. But my main job now, the wife's done a lot of cleaning and things like that and decorating. My main job has been the craftsmen of cookies because we will be serving I'm the dessert guy, so I'm in charge of the dessert. So we were serving up multiple cookies and including I'm gonna make a cookie I've never made before, will debut at the Ugly Sweater Party. So if you attend the Ugly Sweater Party, you will be a guinea
pig for this particular for this pre night. And and also you know we're working the gigs and all that. I didn't have a lot of time to do this. We were busy making dough a couple of days a week and melting chocolate last night, a big chocolateier kind of a night making the delicious chocolate, which is not that hard to make, but is time consuming and can be annoying if you don't get it right, it comes
out like crap. So eat and be merry. But I am the craftsman of cookies, taking advantage of the different socialists. We just I made a bunch of cookies for Thanksgiving, which was not that long ago. And now we get this, and there's another party down the line. So the Malard Ugly Sweater Party is tonight. There will be no sword fighting at that event, my Danny.
Yeah, man.
And of course I got the baby club where I can tell you and Rich Davis man, I would love to come out and go to Christmas parties, but got a baby at home.
Yeah, it's the ultimate excuse. It's the great you don't have to go to anything now and nobody, nobody can complain.
It's a real excuse right now for us though, because if he's out past seven pm, he gets so pissed off.
Really, it's like, I want my bed, I want my booby, I want milk, and I want to go to sleep.
Oh man, But we when I babysit my niece and nephew, and I hear all the time from their their mom and dad they're like, oh, yeah, they got to be in bed by like eight o'clock. You know, they're little kids. They gotta be in bed by eight. If they're not in by eight, this, you know, it's gonna be a night mare. They're going to be terrible. And every time I've babysat them, they want to stay up till midnight, and nothing ever happens like all the marketing about oh
my god, it's gonna be terrible. Their kids are fine. They didn't want to watch TV now they'll fall asleep or whatever. But they they they're not grumpy or anything like that. At least I haven't experienced it, but small sample size, so who knows. I'm sure. I'm sure you're around co all the time. Right, So who knows? Who knows what's going on with Cole? But yeah, I'm a litt upset with Rich Davis scheduling his party the same night of my party. It's a bad job by him.
I think you guys did this last year too, did we?
Yeah, but it's a it's a really popular weekend for Christmas parties.
Yes, I don't make the schedule. The wife schedules the Christmas party. I just go along with the holiday party. That's pretty much pretty much saw we do it? So yeah, for sure?
Hey or fighting? Yeah, the sword fighting came at school. I haven't got to tell you about the kids lately. Of course, they're getting antsy because they want their winter break.
The winter break is coming. Kids are a little antsy. Wednesday morning early, everything's normal. First couple of kids arrive. There is a what they call a zero period at the school. Do you know what that is? Yeah?
They didn't have that when I was around, but I am. I am aware. Yes, Yeah, you got to get.
There early, and those kids get to leave early. I think I would have signed up, wouldn't you have?
I believe I was not.
It's nice leaving early, but I was not. I'm still not a morning person, like I, yes, I don't know.
Good thing, you're not on the radio early in the morning.
No, I know, I know, but I would I really don't get like. My motors started in later in the day, even when I was younger, so I don't know that I would do well. But yeah, if I was a morning person, I'd be like, oh, let's gets thing on, get it over with, get me out of there. I don't want to deal with the bull crap later in the day it is out.
Yeah.
This zero period is kind of confusing on campus too, because the school bells keep going off at seven am. But they don't do zero period every day, but the bells always ring. Some days the gates entrance to the school is closed. Other days the gates are wide open. The days that the gates are wide open, my job is much easier because all of the early arrivors can
just go right to my classroom. The days where they have it all locked up like a fortress, I have to continually go to the front and let each kid in like a valet.
What's your name, son? Round?
So I let the first few kids in there are now I don't know about four seventh graders inside my classroom, and that could be a problem with no supervision. So I go and I let the next kid in. I do my long back and I'm thinking cardio steps.
This is good.
I'm it's like crisp morning air. I'm getting some steps in. I get back to the classroom and two of the seventh graders are sword fighting in the middle of the room.
I'm like fencing, Like, are they the Star Wars?
So one kid has one of those long rulers that sits on the what used to be a chalkboard. Now it's a combo of a flat screen with one of those dry erase boards.
Sure, I don't know the kid, but I gotta tell you that would make a good lightsaber.
He's got that as his.
The other kid has one of those long tubes that posters go in.
Oh sure, that cardboard thing.
So they are in full battle mode, and as I tell them, what the heck are you guys doing, the one with the big cardboard poster tube hits the other one right in the shoulder hard. You hear the sah thump this kid. Now, I'm not sure what was inside this tube or why it was in that classroom. Yeah, but needless to say, the kid that got struck over dramatically complained that he was hurt. And he now sat in the corner of the room, and I'm like, I did not ask you guys to sword fight while I
exited the room. Apparently he did not go to the nurse's office or complain. But for Thursday morning, all Thursday morning, while I was there, I thought that you know that feeling you have where you're headed for some trouble. I thought I was going to get canceled.
Oh, he's probably not that bright to figure that out. But who would win? Like he got the long ruler, yeah, which is wood, but it's like balsa wood. It's not thick wood, right, I assume it's not the thick wood. But then you've got the cardboard, which is probably pretty thick, but it's cardboard.
It's one of those big heavy ones that was in the classroom, all right, So.
You would have an advantage. You would be head in that battle. You should win the role poster rule.
Yeah, And I got to say it made a really good sound effect when he nailed that kid in the shoulder.
Now, were there were other kids watching this or oh?
Yeah, they had five or six spectators to their lightsaber fight.
Yeah, probably had making bets, you know, they had that all going on. And anyway, all right, well listen, it's the beauty of school, all right. So we have the idiom of the week, the not to be confused with the word of the week, that's totally different. This is the idiom of the week.
The week.
Yeah, that's right, and it's called shot in the arm. Shot in the arm is the idiom of the week. I think we know what that means most of us. I use it from time to time. I don't use it all the time. That's a shot in the arm, but a sudden or encouraging events, quick enhancement, right, something that gives you a little bit of a boost, a little bit of a boost. The idiom shot in the arm, that is a colloquial expression, as we said, means something,
you know, energy, enthusiasm, confidence, helps you out right. The Clippers traded for James Harden, and that gave him a shot in the arm until James Harden played like a dog. What is still wrong with the Clippers? The dog with fleas? But a shot in the arm. Very a colorful phrase. The history, though, does not the backstory in this does not go back that far, does not the idiom a shot in the arm. The belief among those that study this crap is that the term originated only in the
earliest twentieth century, the early twentieth centuries. It is not that long ago when you think about the history of the world, and it began a around the time. It coincided with the time the hyperdermic needle became a big popular thing for people, and they began using the phrase, you know, a sudden boost of energy and all that. But it first appeared in the form it's in now in print in nineteen sixty an article on something called the Lewiston Evening Journal, and they went into it and
they were talking about the upcoming presidential elections. In that period of time, the war veterans could give politics a shot in the arm, they said. That's how they phrased it,
and the term. They believed that it's a bit of a mystery about exactly who used it first, but it was around that time, and they think it originated in the medical field, like the military hospitals, where this is kind of appropriate for the times we've been living in recently here where the medical injection was a big thing. The hyperdermic needle became a thing. Military people had to get vaccinated for different things, and so the shot gave you a boost, a boost of stamina for you soldiers.
So the idiom of the week is shot in the arm. Shot in the arm, the idiom of the week. And we move on now to footy fund. We're all about that food by request Danny before I forget my buddy sports with coleman is demanding a food review.
Now.
I did attend the La Rams game last week. The Rams played the Cleveland Browns. Joe Flacco actually looked all right, which was shocking. The Browns defense not that impressive, not that impressive. Rams won going away. It was close for a while, like most NFL games. But I go to these games and it is a freeloaders paradise at these games. Oh my god, insane and media freeloaders is my mentor
Jim Healy used to say back in the day. So what I have done here is I have dissected the different food options that are available now this game, the Ram Browns game, they began they have two meals day, so pregame they had among the food items that were available, seasonal fruit platter, chicken and waffles which was just chicken tenders and Belgian waffles covered in sugar, very good biscuits,
and gravy, sausage, gravy scrambled eggs with chives. Cheese tots, not to be confused with the other kind of tots. These were cheese tots that were available, and so you could get that as well, And that was just the pregame. Then they also had like a dessert bar where they just had a bunch of candy bars and all that. So they had that going for you. All kinds of carbonated beverages that was available pregame at the Ram Browns game.
Then as the game progressed, as we got later in the game, at halftime, because you've already eaten once, you've got to eat again a couple hours later at halftime, they had fried chicken sliders. Unfortunately, they did have pickles, curly fries, mac and cheese bites. They had that at the RAM game. Build your own chili dog and that includes beef, chili, cheddar cheese, and onion. So that was just some of the food that was available.
Don't tell me you were fasting during all of this.
Well, I did fast during the breakfast portion because I don't use I like breakfast. But then I at like halftime, I went for it.
I went big.
The cheesy not bad, the mac and cheese bites, solid curly fries.
Were they lightly fried?
Uh? No, I mean they were fried. Yeah.
I don't like when those things are two fried.
No, no, I mean they were mass produced foods.
So yeah, hard to find the right oil.
You get what you get. But I am told the Belgian waffle was outstanding, that the sugar encased in that was a win. So I'll have to try that at a future event. Now, foody fun, because we all got to eat, some of us have to shop to Costco. Big news, big news on foody fun from Costco. They're rolling out new and improved shopping carts, new and approved Costco shopping carts that that is coming here. I thought the Costco shopping cart is fine. I don't think they
needed to upgrade the shopping cart. But according to someone who has all way too much free time on their hands, Costco and a location in Wisconsin debuted a new shopping cart which doesn't look any different than the old shopping cart.
This does make a difference to shoppers, though, Ben, because I told my wife, I said, let's just stop at this grocery store right here, because she's really picky about what grocery store we're going to stop at. And I'm like, no, and let's just say this one that I was trying to get her to go to. It's the same first name as that Irvin guy we used to work.
With, Burger all alone in first place after the third round. He oh sure, sure, yeah, never heard of.
Like, I don't like that one. It's kind of ghetto and the cart suck there. They all the carts have bad wheels there.
Yeah, like they need to clean inside that grocery store. Oh like, no, I'm trying to get the best deals. They have good deals in there.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm see. I'm the same way. I'll go to any grocery store I like. I like going to like kind of seedy neighborhoods because you know, the food's a little cheaper in there, and you get some interesting things that I don't normally see at my grocery store in the north Woods. So and I'll go all.
Over as long as it's not the grocery outlet where I was scarred for life as a kid because my mom would go in there and throw cans on the ground to dent them even more to get a bigger discount.
Oh that's funny.
I've had like.
Adam Sandler and Big Daddy. If it's not grocery outlet, I'm okay. But I am not walking inside a grocery.
Outlet, okay. So that that's off the board.
But that's where I draw the line.
And I've told the story before. Like I love good Mexican food. I like to make food at home. So but I'll go to like you know, and we live in LA and there's some great.
Oh you go to the Latino markets.
Yeah, I'll go to the Mexican markets. Racist. And I used to live in Lincoln Heights, which is like, you know, Mecca for Mexico. That's where I started doing it. When I lived in Lincoln Heights. There was a great market and it was a Mexican theme, you know, obviously market, and I was the gringo walking in there and I loved it and food was wonderful. It's like amazing. I was like, this is this is the way to go. Yeah, So Costco apparently getting new shopping carts look exactly like
their old shopping cars. A lot of McDonald's news here this week on Foody Fun. McDonald's announced their opening their their first cosmic location in Boiling Brook, Illinois, which is in Chicago, and so this I was reading about this, and as I understand, I think this is their way of taking market share away from Starbucks. I believe that's what this is all about. This mc cosmic is just a way to attack Starbucks. The menu has mostly drink items,
the coffee. They have other new items. There's something called a sour cherry slow bush, a spicy Queso sandwich, savory hash brown bites, and more. But it's not a McDonald it's more like a coffee drink shop.
That's what it's said, somewhere you'd stop like on a road trip.
Yeah, and that goes in with another news nugget from McDonald's. They are doubling down on chicken and coffee. They're going big on the cold brew at Mickey De's. And I think we mentioned this in a few weeks a few weeks back, but they are going all in on AI. Also. They have a plan to use AI loser. They claim it will produce hotter, fresher food for customers. Eh. I don't know about that, but that's what they say. They partnered with Google Cloud and they're bringing AI to the kitchen.
They claim it will be used to simplify the way that they make the food and all that we could possibly go wrong? What could possibly go wrong with that? And while we're at it, we told the story last week on Foodie Fun about McDonald's and the big Mac the smaller patties which guess got even smaller. Well, McDonald's heard the pushback and they have determined, well, we probably need to fix that. We probably need to fix that.
So McDonald's is going to introduce bigger hamburgers. They've decided, you know what, these people complaining, I guess there's something to it. They claim the pushback from customers who want larger they say high quality burgers. I don't know that you're going to get that. But a McDonald's executive announcing two investors this week that the company plans to launch a larger burger campaign.
You're going to charge me nine dollars for a burger, It better fill me up? Yeah?
Now is it going to be actual meat? Are they going to mix it in just more byproducts and meat substitute's who knows. I don't know. They haven't, they haven't done it yet, but yeah, you should you charge that much for fast food, Like, come on, you gotta you gotta do better, You gotta do better.
Now.
They're making all kinds of of upgrades allegedly. We talked about that as well, But the size of the burger not particularly a great I think that's all. Well, there's one other McDonald's story that McDonald's has done very well with gen Z because they brought Grimace back and that's all that took.
They had that you like adult Grimace shake. Remember, Oh yeah, that that.
Too, but they it's like a grown up kids.
Mew you know you see that? Yeah?
Yeah, So, but grim is very popular and they claim they have the numbers there and it helped the bottom line for McDonald's. They scored very well, very well with the Q score right right right. Well, Subway is launching three new foot long items soon. Wasn't that exciting? None of them are sandwiches though, So I didn't they get sued because the foot long wasn't actually a foot long?
Yeah, I talked about it last weekend. That place stinks.
Subway not a fan, not a not a fan either.
Oh, Jersey Mike's is so much better.
Yeah, last time I ate Subway. We were going out to the forest and we needed sandwiches and it was like the only sandwich shop that was around. So we picked up some sandwiches and cruised out into the forest. But it was not great they're selling. Here are the items they have, Danny foot long for two dollars. That's actually not a bad price. Foot long Turo foot long turro from partnered with Cinnabon.
That sounds healthy.
Three dollars will get you a foot long pretzel, Okay, get down with that. Yeah, it's an Anti Ann's pretzel for three dollars.
What about the melted cheese with it? Though?
They does look like they have a cup of cheese that might be extra. And then the final item on the new foot long Sidekick menu is the foot long cookie, which we talked about in the previous episode. This sings five bucks and it looks like a boat, like the whole of a boat, you know what it looks like.
But does it come with insulin?
It's pretty pretty good, so yeah, I don't think you'd go wrong with any of those.
I think I would actually go get the pretzel better than their sandwiches.
It's the size of your forearm. It is the size of your forearmed, Danny, this foot long pretzel. So there you see that you can rip Subway. But this seems like a.
Yeah, I take everything back I said about Subway.
Except their sandwiches. Their sandwiches blow.
But this stuff then their sandwiches, which is what they serve, they're awesome.
Uh yeah, well I did mention Taco Bell for some reason. But Taco Bell is welcoming back. Double decker Taco Oh I saw this, and double decker Taco Supreme is back.
So are you I like those double decker tacos? Yeah?
And how much do those cost? I probably don't want to know.
Probably that up on the Taco Bell app for you.
Yeah, that's probably not going to go go that. Well, Well, you're a white Claw guy at a party's nanny. You love that racist, racist big fan. Well, white Claw is.
Those are girl drinks?
Sexist?
Yeah, Well, they're releasing a new Seltzer, which you could say is even more of a girly drink no alcohol in it. So a new seltzer, you get that white claw experience without the booze.
Oh, come on, That's why people drink those is for the booze. Give me a break.
I would think who's dying to buy a dry white claw will find out they must have done market research. Well, I might have to go to Panera and get one of these caffeinated lemonade things. Did you see again? This week someone blamed a lawyer blamed Panera for the death of their client who died, they claim from the caffeation in the in the Panera bread drink, don't they put They put warnings on this stuff, but it doesn't matter, so there's no other lawsuits thats been filed and all that.
How much sugar and caffeine do they put in that? I have no idea, I've never had it, but it must be an insane amount for some people to drop dead based on drinking that.
I'm so happy, Ben that I've been looking into the contents of some of these drinks, because I would go to Starbucks, not every day, but maybe once or twice a week and get like a frappucino.
There is like fifty three grams of sugar. Those fifty three.
Signed, and you're getting older when you start looking at the content of sugar.
Well, I mean you kind of have to so that you can live longer. Yeah, imagine drinking those daily like some people do.
You're basically slowly killing yourself. Yeah.
Yeah, and you're enjoying it. Well, it happens, you know, I guess. I mean you're enjoying the sugar and all.
That really quick.
By the way, double decker taco three nineteen for the regular, one, three eighty nine for the supreme.
All right, so that's about I guess the rate and anything in the three fifty to four dollars range for tacos is good, but it's it's a fast food taco.
Yeah, I feel like that should be fifty cents cheaper.
Yeah, but it's still cheaper than Tito's Tacos, which is also fast food, which is like almost six bucks of taco, which is ridiculous on every level. Starbucks, they have this Red Cup Day promotion that they've been doing, and I guess it's not working anymore. It had less than half the amount of added traffic as last year, so seems that worked. What do I know. I'm not a marketing guy, but Starbucks Red Cup Day promotion apparently wearing thin, the public waning on it. So we'll see what they come
up with next year. But in the early early window this, you know, throw all the data's the chain claimed Starbucks based in Seattle, they got a thirty one point seven percent foot traffic boost on on Thursday, the sixteenth of November. But you start digging around the numbers and you're like, well, wait a minute, this is actually not as good as it would indicate, or you would think that would be the case. And we have what do we have next year?
Oh?
We were backscratcher. Are you ready for backscratcher? Of course you are now backscratcher. This is where we beg people to send using who follow the podcast, not subscribe to the podcast, follow the podcast the fifth hour this week, Danny, did we get zero one or two one numero? Who know?
Danny?
You are correct? Why you from Rebel Viking who rights in otherwise known as James in Arkansas, he says, just to help. It almost makes me sad to hear you beg for reviews. He says, five stars as usual, Hey, management, leave these kids alone. Some James in Arkansas, thank you for that was like.
A backhanded review.
And you don't let the bosses know that we talk about this stuff on the podcast.
Yeah, because people will be grazing through podcast also and say what's this podcast about? Why should I subscribe to this? And if you see the people say, well, you shouldn't subscribe these people, you know you, they'll let you go for free, you enough to buy tickets and all that.
Like, what do you James, this is like the fight Club?
Yeah, come on, I mean that's a bad job by you.
Ja.
I mean think it's a bad job and a good job by you at the same time. And it's a good job for taking the time to post because so many people don't. Based on the number of downloads we get every weekend and the number of people that post maybe one or two every other week, at the most advantage to you who post. So we'll get out on that. I think we cover you had fruity fun.
By the way, James, the next time you leave a review, you could be sarcastic.
That's the best way.
Just say something like these guys never even ask for reviews, which is nice. So I figured I would review the podcast out of you know, the kindness of my heart something like that to where we know you're being a dick about it and it's funny, but if a boss looks at it, they have no idea what you're talking about.
Yeah, you got to kind of help us out a little bit. I don't have to be by the letter of the law, the spirit of the law, the spirit of sarcasm. So what's coming on up for you today, Danny on this the I've got the ugly Sweater party tonight, so that's my main focus. But what do you have going on with your charming son CoA and your wife?
Yeah, well, I'm on a mission to clear a path in the garage big enough for his stroller, because while my chick is trying to work from home, while she rocks him in one arm and is on the phone with work calls in the other, she's trying to make a workspace in the garage. And the trick is going to be that she puts him in his stroller and rocks him by pushing the stroller handle, and then also can wheel him out of the garage and walk him around the neighborhood if she needs to, because that'll put
him to sleep. Right now, there's not a big enough pathway in the garage. Let's see what kind of damage I can do today.
Go to home depot and rent a wheelbarrow and just fill it up, and then you're good.
With the kid. Put the kid in a wheelbarrow, you.
Get rid of the stuff, and then once you do that, then you put the kid in there. It's like an amusement park. The kid will love it like you've taken them to Disneyland or not. It's Verry Farm or one of the.
Say this sounds like a new ride you went on at California Adventure Park.
Yeah, yeah, why not? Yeah? All right? Anything else? I think that's it right. We'll get out on that, as we said, so have a wonderful.
Oh, don't forget about the mail bag tomorrow.
Well that's right with the mail bag tomorrow, So check that out. We'll have your questions, our answers, and I believe we will also, time permitting, we will have the somewhat popular pop goes the culture at least a few of those stories. We'll get to that when we get to it. But have a wonderful rest of your Saturday. I will try to post some photos from the Ugly Sweater party, but have a wonderful, wonderful day, and we'll catch you next time.
Later, Skater got a murder. I gotta go.