The Fifth Hour: Combination Lock'd In

and Danny G Radio back in the podcast Ojo. We are never boring, and occasionally we get into the ring and we try to avoid taking calls from We don't want him here, but Danny G. A new weekend is upon us. A crazy week has played out, and here we are amazing, amazing, amazing, man. This is the second end of the week where we get football. So I'm a happy person. And this is the first real exhibition weekend. Last week we just had one game, the Hall of Fame game. But now it is on like donkey kong

uh this weekend. And the thing that we always say about this when you talk about exhibition games, there's only one thing that comes out of these exhibition games. And much like Donkey Kong, your some of your star players who play end up, or like your boy Matt Stafford, they never get on the field to begin with because they're hurt. Ah, they'rebellishing that he's never gonna play again. Ben. His arm is gonna be amputated. He's gonna he's gonna lose an arm, the whole thing. He's gonna have his

head chopped off. It's all over now, it's all over, just ramant, unless it's not exactly We have a carpool, Benny Opening Day, cookie Monster, Backscratcher, and whatever else we decided to talk about. All right, clear your ears out, get get a cute tip, whatever you have to do, We're good to go here. Rub your eyes, wake up, put some water on your face, do what you have to do. The show must go on. So uh, this being the Saturday podcast Danny the Life of Mallard and

Danny g Spectacular. This doesn't have the number one station anymore, is it. So there has been a pattern in these parts. If you've been keeping track and you listen regularly, there is a theme to these podcasts, and it involves automobile blues. Uh yeah, and it has happened again now each weekend we have exchanged stories of car related shenan against. You got an unbelievably ridiculous bill from the auto shop, Danny, last week, and you told us about that you were

trying to go. Was it uphill and uphill to work? Which did not work? Yeah, so this week is no different. Now again my wife was on the way to her job. My wife far away from the north Woods, far far away from the north Woods, and uh whatever, it's the normal driver. I think you know how the story ended.

The malamobile started malfunctioning, much like the trip, the romantic trip up the California coast where we got to Sherman Oaks from the north Woods and turn out the lots the parties over so the same thing, bells and whistles, lights flashing on the dashboard and it was toe on the go. I had to get towed off the freeway.

So the second time we've had a tow truck in the last couple of months, which began an absolute nightmare week scheduling wise, and down to one car, Danny, and living in California, there's no real rapid transit where we live, so you gotta take the automobile or uber or whatever. And you know this, you're you're living this also, so down to one car, we decided, you know, I can work from home some of the time, so I'm okay. But this week, because of scheduling and we had some visitors.

We're gonna talk about that later on in the podcast. That paid a visit and I had to be in the studio. I had to be the one wearing the clown makeup, right, I had to have had I had to put on a show, and so I had to go in the studio. My wife had to go into her job at the police station. She's a nine when one operator and so uh, I picked up a new nickname, uh car pool Benny uh and UH. I normally avoid rush hour traffic. It's one of the perks of working overnight.

I don't have to deal with the monotony of bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper. But I did a couple of days this week I had to take her to work. Now, one of the days I took her to work and then I said, you know what, I'll just go to the radio station. I'll get ready for the show at the radio station, and we're allowed to do that, although there's not a lot of room anymore because they got rid of the offices and so whatever.

So I went and that was all right, and then I ended up coming back to her work because she worked much longer than a radio shift. You worked twelve hour shifts at the at the nine one one desk, and so she was there way after I got done. So I hung out at the police station and I got to use the WiFi. That was That was cool. Careful what you're searching, though, but here exactly no no porn.

But the other thing thing, I you go to the police station, and you always loved going there when you're not in the jail, right that that you're doing pretty good there when you're not in jail. So I was hanging out with her, which is kind of cool. It was nice to talk to the officers, and I haven't seen them that often, certainly the COVID and all that stuff. I know some of the guys, uh and women that

worked there, so so that was fine. So then the next day, this ended up being two days of purgatory. What a pain in the behind now that the car has actually been repaired and toda. We We went to a local mom and pop repair shop where near where the car broke down, which happened to be near where we used to live. And unlike the DVA, you would think the dealer would have all the answers. No, they couldn't fix it. They said, we don't know what the

promise this other place. Oh yeah, we know exactly what that is. Here's three things you need about a being bout a boom uh you know, strike one, strike two, strike three, year out and the car will be fixed. So that's fine. But but I had to go another day to drive the wife out to her job. And I was like, Okay, I'm gonna come back home. I'll do the show from home. Nothing to worry about here, we're good to go. So, Danny, I'm on the way to the wife's work area. I'm stuck in horrendous traffic.

I'm questioning my decision making at this point, and I'm like, how do people do this? I couldn't handle this. And so I'm driving and I get a buzz on my phone and it's from one of our bosses at Fox Sports Radio saying, hey, they're doing some work on the internet and some other things at the studio, and because of that, you can't work from the home studio. You have to be in studio. Yeah, so I'm on the way.

I don't mind you. If I had had my headphones and my badge to get into the office the I Heart building, the Premier building, I would have just gone to the office. But I had already put my time in in the studio. I've been there a couple of days. So I was like, all right, you know, I didn't bring anything, so I couldn't go to the studio. I didn't have my anything I needed I didn't have, so I had to go home. So then I'm like texting back, I'm like, well, are you really sure there's there's nothing.

We could we work on a compromise. So then uh, Scott was like, well, you know, if you can't make it, we'll get somebody to fill in. And I don't know. I didn't want didn't want that. I wanted to do the show, and so I dropped my wife off after spending ninety minutes in traffic, I then spent another hour in twenty minutes in traffic. So now I'm out to We had two hours in fifty minutes in traffic, and I've gotten nowhere. I've gone back to where I need

to be. So then I've got a scramble because, as you know, Danny, I'm a very methodical preparer for the show. I I have a certain cadence that I followed ready for a radio show. And exactly I'm a creature of habit. That's what I was looking for. So completely just uh waylaid my entire schedule. And these are first world problems to have. So I'm scrambling. I'm like, all right, who the you know, who the f cares? I'll just put this out there. I don't give a crap, you know whatever.

I got a few opinions. I was actually I was stopped near at one point near Anaheim Stadium, the Big A. I could look into the Big A. The entire freeway was was stopped. There was a traffic break because of an accident on the Connector road. So this actually worked out to be a good thing because I was able to on my I own throw some I was surfing around getting some stories and I was trying like, well, what do I think about that? Is that good enough for the show, and then I saw that actually helped

me out. The traffic helped me out on it as weird as that is. So you were getting a Mallard show riddle while you were stopped in traffic. Yes, yes, exactly, that's exactly what was happening, Danny. So finally, you know, I got home. I as I said, I threw some stuff together, Bella hung out with me right next to me, and then got piste. When I left, I was went home for like a couple of hours, and I had to get back in the roads. And then I spent another hour in the car to get to the studio

and then the cherry on top of the Sunday. Nothing happened, nothing went down, no equipment broke, there was no WiFi issue. Everything was fine. I could have stayed at the home studio and done the work and nobody would have known any different. Now, I was so upset that I kept hitting the computer. I said, I told her, I said, this is that this thing is gonna go down. This is gonna go down. It never went down, So that was my my nightmare. And then but wait, there's more.

So now at this point I'm out three hours and fifty minutes, I believe. So then I do the show and I've got to run back because I do the podcast from the home studio. I don't I can't even do it at the the studios we work out of to do the radio show. I don't know the equipments and equated and all that. I don't know how to do it. There's nobody there. So I gotta come home so now, and I gotta not that I'm upset to

work with you, Danny, but another hour. So now I'm out almost five hours if my math is correct on that. I think my math is right about five hours. And and you know, just driving around, just five hours, five hours I spent driving around. Well, at least you have air conditioning and you weren't slaving away in the hot sun. That is true. Yeah, there are people that actually do real work, card labor that that is. That is much harder. But I'm used to my usual routine. And so that

was that opening day, if you will, Danny. Now I'm not talking baseball opening day. I'm not even talking foot were talking about football, but this is a whole different frontier here. It very much was like an MLB opening day. You could feel the excitement in the air. The kids were back on campus, the dress codes were being enforced once again, and I was on campus very early to help open up. So this past Tuesday, we open up the campus, all the kids come trampling back on twelve

hundred middle schoolers. Ben. This is like a nightmare all right now. Mind you, a lot of these are sixth graders who have never had a locker. They've never had multiple classes, they've never had to deal with running to a class with two bells going off. They've just not had this experience. So, as you can imagine, there were lots of bug eyed kids walking around at seven thirty am trying to figure out what class was what and where they were supposed to go. Mapping out the rest

of the day. I had several kids walk up to me asking me to please show them how to work the master lock. And as you know, Ben, it's right right right. You go right to clare it, then land on your first number, then you go left past it to the second number, and then you go right to

the third number and pull it down. And and when it's really the pressure is really on you when you got to to class because the bell is about to ring, I just want to clarify for the kids that probably are not listening to this podcast, that I, as a middle aged adult, still have trouble with the lock. I I much prefer the key lock. I cannot stand those with the code. I hate him. I hate him, and they seem like cheaper locks too. These things feel like

they're gonna fall apart in your hand. But this is what the school district hands out to the kids for their locker for their books, and then for their pe locker inside the locker rooms where they change, so they have two of these to figure out. These sixth graders been They looked like they were completely lost. One of them came up to me and he's like, can you please show me how to do the lock again? So I showed it to him, had him do it in

front of me. He got it. But then he looks up at me and he says, I have to do this every day. Yes Toomey, welcome. It only goes downhill from here, God bless him. Man, wait till you have to do taxes and all the other adult bullshit the rest of us have to. Yes. Yeah, So these kids are lugging around books from their first classes trying to shove them in these lockers. It was fun to watch.

Of course, the seventh and eighth graders were peacocking around the campus because they've been there before, they've been in the end zone. Um, it was a great first day. And i'll tell you what, Ben, the sixth graders overall seem a lot more calm because last year's collection of sixth graders, holy crap, they were just coming off of COVID, so they were wild. They had the numb chucks and

the astro blasters ready to go. Yeah, you know, they hadn't been social for a while, they hadn't been at home, and then all of a sudden, like wild animals, they were released back into the wilderness. That's what it was like last school year. The sixth graders this year will be a little more calm. Well usually, and you could speak better to me, but as I better than me.

But as I remember when I was in school, it's usually you start out, you're pretty good, and then at some point certain students common deer the school, you know, they overtake it and they try to topple the whole the whole operation, and boom goes to dynamite. Good start, well, that's good. So it was a busy beginning to the week.

On the radio show, I mentioned the car troubles and back in business and all that, and it's really cool that if you were listening, you heard this if you listen to the live show, but a couple of card carrying legends in the Mallar Militia in studio visits Sunday into Monday. The Great J. Scoop paid us of is it very talented musician friend of the show, and he's he's actually documented he's met more listeners from coast to

coast than I have. He was the ringleader of that very famous Mallard meet and greet that we did with all the big stars, all the bizzas the Wild Factor in Seattle just before the world shut down late in nineteen it was late December, if I remember correctly, it was between Christmas and New Year's at the Mallard Meet and greet, and that was that was a special. Like we had a lot of legends, Danny, we had JJ from Renton who doesn't call the show anymore, Robbie the

Mariner fan ed and Christina from Spokane. No Stradinas was there. There were so many others that I'm forgetting right now. Bad job by me. Some of our joke writers showed up there, and so it was great. I had not seen Jay Scoop since then, and he stopped by and shot the Bullpucky with us, and we hung out and chatted the night away, and I had him on for a couple of segments. He took some some phone calls, and I actually ended up giving him a lift back

to his hotel room. He was staying down the street at that Marriott. You know that hotel. Yeah, I stayed there one time when I got locked out of my apartment. Oh, I stayed there one time too. I stayed there when there was Karma Geddon. What was Karma Gedding? How long ago? Is that a few Yeah, it was a few years ago. Yes, So Karma Geddon they shut down the four oh five freeway. They had to put an overpass or something like that.

And our studios are right at the base of the four oh five and the one on one in l A. And so I was doing a bunch of weekend shifts. So like, we'll get your hotel room. You can't go home, you won't be able to get back. And it turned out. There wasn't hardly any traffic. People were line. But anyway, so Jay scoo, I give him right back to the hotel. He actually brought a massive box of goodies. Yeah. I

passed him in the hallway. I got to meet him really quick because I was leaving my shift as you were starting yours, and he's carrying this huge box of these huge cookies. Yeah, so what's in the box? And uh and and and then you saw the box. I don't want to exaggerate and embellish the size of the box. It was about the size of the state of Wisconsin, and it was about them, and it was all kinds of flavors. You know, Cookie Monster would have been in

with this box of cookies. Okay, I mean he really did. Did it great. He went above and beyond the call. And he had the traditional chocolate chip, the snickerdoodle, the peanut butter. There were some more exotic flavors. There was like a banana flavor. You're the cookie man, though, are these were these as good as your batches of cookie? They're good. They were better than like process because they were made from a local bakery. Looked like that. So

they had the label and whatnot. But no, I mean I love making making the cookies and I actually made some chocolate chip cookies this week. Actually made a few few chocolate chip cookies and all that. But but yeah, so, I mean, he brought the cookies and Eddie the hoarder ended up grabbing most of the snicker Doom. It's a bad job by him, but I was able to squirrel away. I had a bag I think it was Doug Gottlieb's

bag that he left in the studio. I grabbed the bag and I put a hodgepodge of cookies in there. So then that was on Sunday night, and then Monday into Tuesday. Our old pal Chris and Houston he paid a visit. Yeah, yeah, we we've had many great sparring matches over the years. Chris sold out, he took the dreaded day shift, so he no longer works overnights, but he's a podcast listener and die hard rockets Texans and cheating stros am I on the live here. Well that

of course a great homage to help with me. But but he he was in l A to take his skins to Disneyland and v I P package and all that and I gotta tell you, Danny, you know, he was pretty smooth. I mean, you can tell he's done some podcasting stuff. But was he good enough to impress Blind Scott? No, of course not no, no, no, Blind Scott. No Scott, if you didn't know, called Ben on the air and said that all the callers that have been coming in to meet you in studio are trash and

if he came in, he'd be so good. Management would fire you and give the overnight shift to him. Yes, yes, the cream rises at the top of that, and Dylan as his sidekick. That would be wonderful. The press release on that alone would rock the sports world. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Blind the first dog on the air, right. No, we have have a whole lineup. We have a kennel, that is what we have. But what you're talking about, jeez, it's a madhouse around there. Well, we need a fleabath,

that is what we need. Anyway, Chris, we made sure me and Roberto we patted him down. We checked him for the buzzers. We didn't see any buzzers. No Astros contraband if he's wearing Astro's merchandise, we were not going to allow him in the studio. Was he eyeing the trash can in the main studio, Well, he felt at home he saw the trash can, He's like, oh, that's my my happy place, that's my happy place. But it was it was cool to see him busting his chops

and all that, and good job by Roberto. He wore the asterisks shirt. So remember I don't know if you remember that Eddie bought us all shirts that has it looks like the Astros logo, but it says asterisk on it. That's all right, that's a nice touch by Roberto. Yeah, so I'm I'm excited. The COVID rules have been rolled back and so we can hang out with fans of

this show again. That happened to pass through Los Angeles, and so if you're interested in that, if you're it's gotta be somebody we know, I would think, right, Danny, we can't just let anyone in. But if we were aware of you, if you've contributed content to the show and you happen to be around and the schedule works out, as long as you don't outshine us, that would be bad. But we we'd love to meet you. We gotta get

out on this, Danny. We have backscratcher, and I want to give you, Danny a gold star who you know why, because you explain paint by numbers, how to write a review and we had let me see, you went to three four five, We had a record five reviews. Yeah, and it's all because of you, Danny. Congratulations. I mean, seriously, you need to do that every week when we get done here. You have to explain because whatever you say, as bleary eyed as you were, whatever you said, you

you're a teacher. You taught the people. I knew it. Brent Musberger and now five star five reviews. Oh my god, Musburger was amazing. Dude. To hear his voice in your voice together, Ben, If we don't send that into the Marconi folks, I don't know what we're doing with our lives. And I love Musburger because Brent I was trying to talk about his career and make it all about him.

But Brent, he wanted to talk baseball. He wanted to talk about, you know, football, and he didn't want to talk about himself, which was kind of cool because we we know guys. I'm not gonna name names. Pat O'Brian, who loved to talk about themselves. But but Brent, I got the center. He did talk about himself, but I tried to make it all about him, and he was like, no, he wanted to talk about watching a Yankee game or college football schedule. And but he did tell the story.

And I won't give it away, but the story he told I to him about how he got some of his catchphrases, the one you're looking live, which is his most famous catchphrase. I don't know that he's I'm sure he's told that over there. I've never heard the story that he told. I don't know if that's an exclusive on the fifth Hour, but you're right, I had never

heard that story before. Yeah, it was pretty it was pretty neat and it as far as the backscratcher danities, are actual rews by actual listeners, thanks to you, Danny and the fact that you let people know how they could actually get to the podcast page where they needed to click to review it. So this guy Twizzle T, I don't know that he he's posted like three different reviews over the last couple of months. Does he delete

his account and then start over? I'm not sure how that works, but he wrote in he says, I love it the fifth hour. This show every week keeps me entertained. Keep it up, fellas. Twizzle T says, you're the best, which actually means you're only as good as everyone else, that's what. So you're slightly better than that, which means you're better than average either way. Twizzle T says, I love the show and I use a sleep mask with Bluetooth so I can listen to the rainforest. That's a

good idea. And we talked about Yeah, that was a topic last weekend listener cal writes in says great easy listening, always great and helps me get through my morning weekend chores. Is that the old honey do list? Honey dudes? Uh, He says, chores with a smile. Sometimes makes me realize that my life is so simple. That's it. There you go. I like it. Man. No. We talked about how the

podcast helps us drive in l A traffic. Yeah, yeah, no, No, I will give the podcast credit here, Danny that because we do the Saturday podcast, I pay more attention to the things I do. I don't know if you've noticed that, but I'm like, well, I mean sometimes you do stuff and you don't really pay attention. You're not in the moment. But I have noticed, like even just little things. You're like a pitching coach. You take that little notepad out

of your back pocket. Yeah. Yeah, It's like we've had comedians on the podcast and I've I've known it's Sorrge who I used to work with at Fox back in the day, and like you know, certainly we don't do comedy here, but just that mindset where you have to be paying attention, you have to to to make mental notes that you're remembering certain things. It certainly does help when we get to the to the podcast. I don't

have to scramble. I'm like, well, let me let me see what I've done on Monday and Tuesday and all that stuff, and it helps you out. Craig from South Dakota writes in he says, I was I was finally able to follow the directions to the review link. I enjoy Benn and Danny Ge talking about lie. See there you go, Danny right there. This guy likes our lives. Who know, we had such interesting lives, live in an interesting city, and we have interesting jobs. Yeah, that is correct.

We we don't have your normal run of the mill job. It's an unusual lifestyle that we live working in radio and broadcasting. When are they going to cancel the word radio? Danny? Is that gonna be next year, that year after, and then we can't say radio anymore. Work on different audio platforms been oddo addio as an audios exactly, Craig says, keep up the variety of guests on Friday, Joey Chestnut

the Competitive Eater was great. Well, thank you, Craig, and let us know what you guys thought of Brent Musburger on the reviews and that that would be cool. I I geeked out, Danny. I was like a little kid, I was. I was like, I flashed back. We had talked about this in a previous episode of the show. There's certain play by play announces when you hear their voice,

your flashback. That's why I was so hyped when he was calling the Raider games for a couple of seasons because as a kid, I would see him on TV and he was one of the guys Ben where I was like, that would be so cool to do that job, just like Ben Scully and just like Bill King. I would see him doing games and I wanted to do that and just having having him being willing to do it was great, and he took time out. He was

with his family in Montana. You know, he's on a big ranch in Montana, and here he's talking talking to us on the podcast. So it was very kind of him and I appreciate Unlike some other people we've tried to get Danny who have been totally rude, Brian Bill, Brian Billick, uh, Brett Musburger, he gets an A in my book. So it was great to have him on Cosmo Mark last well, actually we got two more Cosmo.

Mark says, uh, Saturday's best. When you get on listening, he says to Eddie Garcia's three hour Hockey Pocket, he does a three hour hockey podcast. Is that right, Danny? I didn't know it was three hours? Holy crap, is there that much hockey to talk about in August? You must be you must be making that up, right, you must. I mean, there's no he's got to be sarcastic with that. I would hope. Yeah. I don't even listen to three

hour podcasts about the NFL. No, No, you can't. Like I think I've only listened to one podcast that was that long, and it was when Joe Rogan, and I don't. I don't always listen to Rogan. I just somebody had sent me this link and said, you got to hear this, this is crazy. He had what was the guy's name from Info World Wars who got Who got sued Nest to pay a bunch of money out? Alex Jones. I think he's a guy's name. So it was Joe Rogan and Alex Jones and somebody's one of my buddies and

radios like, you gotta hear this. This is this guy's next level. So I listened, and I did listen to the whole thing. I could not believe what I was hearing. It was fast, and I was like, this is this is unbelievable. But that's about it. I my my attention span is not that great. But anyway, this guy says he listens today's podcast and he unwinds with He says, Ben and Danny g rambling on the greatest podcast about nothing. I love the Saturday Show, gentlemen, I like, I look

forward to it every week. Well that's good to hear, and the last one we'll get out on this. Danny Buzz in Vegas says, the fifth hour I love the Fifth Hour. I used to listen to The Mallard Show live when I worked overnights. It's great to be able to listen to the show again via the podcast. By the way, Buzz says, I was listening to Two Pros and a Cup of Joe the podcast recently when they interrupted their flow and said, who was that who walked by?

Was that Ben Mallard? They sounded like teenagers who had just seen their favorite rock star. Bus says LaVar Arrington was clearly intimidated by the size and the fierce demeanor of Mallard and all and Pro Bowl linebackers are not easily intimidated, and Bus says, just how big are you? Or were you trying to terrorize your colleague? No, but I it's one of the great things about being a study. I love Jonas. I've known Jonas for a long time. He's worked all his way up. I love guys that

work their way up in radio. That's what I did. And Jonas has paid his dues and he's got a great morning show, and so I love seeing Jonas. I've seen him work as a producer and an update guy and get a weekend show and now he's got a show during the week, except for that time he caught you cheating. You didn't like him. He lied about that. He's Pinocchio on that. But other than that, I like so I always rot. We're real radio guys, Danny. We we came up in the business, so we I think

we agree on that. We've talked about in the past, the guys that go through and have to deal with the bullshit that you have to deal with when you're not a entertainer, you're not on television, or you're not in you're not in the normal avenues that people take. The blue collar radio hosts. Yeah, that just appreciate the art of audio content or whatever you want to say. So,

but but LaVar has been great. And LaVar actually kind of lives where in the area where I used to live, so he hangs out at restaurants I used to go to when I lived in that area. And plus I remember LaVar was a bad mofo when he played in the NFL. Damn. I mean this guy was was tremendous, uh and really even better in college football at Penn State. But LaVar living up to the hype. Some of these guys get drafted high, and they do not exactly get

or done in the NFL. But LaVar Arrington did and he had a good, good career, made a good amount of money and now he's doing well at the radio. But so but no, I mean, I don't I don't know how. I'm a few inches taller than LaVar. LaVar is like I think he's six three, um, like you know, six six, But I usually lean over something shorter than that, and obviously way a lot more than LaVar, even though I've lost a lot of weight. I don't know how

much the LaVar ways. But anyway, is it's nice. Yeah, when you actually stand up straight, you look like you're six seven. Yeah. I usually want to be closer to everyone, so I have a hunchback. I'll be like Quasimodo at some point when I get done with all this, are we gotta get out on that Danny again, I explain how people can add to the podcast page on the Apple podcast platform, because management does check that out. So in the description of this very podcast, click on that link.

The Apple page comes up, and you page down and you'll see the big four point nine, which is our overall rating, very close to a five. Thank you. For all those nice reviews, and it says write a review. There you go, very simple. You got to create a name, right, an account. Just create a name and you get to write a review. All right, And now what is your schedule like here on a Saturday, Danny, what do you have coming up here in the Fox Sports radio studios

you're working today? Yeah, speaking of that bumper to bumper l A traffic, I'm gonna be in it on my way into Hartmann and Schwartz. And then after that, Brian no With from Saloon said, all right, listen, have a great rest of your day today. We get the mail bag, a spicy hot mail bag on Sunday. Have a great rest of your weekend until we talk to you next time. And we will see you next time later. Skater population