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If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
It's the clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Maller and Danny g Radio A Happy Saturday to you. It is the tenth day of May. As we continue on marching on, day after day, hour after hour, even on the weekends with the Fifth Hour Podcast. And we celebrate now's Mother's Day weekend, which is like a big deal, right, which is a good way to buy cards and flowers and stuff like that to spoil them mom. But it is also today's National Mini Golf Day. And I have
not played at Mintea Golf in some time. I would like to point out, though, Nanny, that I fell down a rabbit hole. I was like, why do we need a National Mini Golf Day? And so then I fell down this rabbit hole and I was blown away. The origins of miniature golf. Did you know that miniature golf is a rogue rebellion sport?
What could it be?
Yeah?
Was it started by Al Davis.
H Well kind of sots, let's go back in the hot top time masion. This is wild. I thought I was being punked when I started going down this rabbit hole, because like miniature golf, you know, I think of people like I'm in Florida or South Carolina or North Carolina, vacation just golfing, you know, their kids or whatever. But it turns out that in the eighteen hundreds, in eighteen sixty seven, to be exact, in polite society, these social norms did not allow the ladies to go out there
and golf. So, in an act of rebellion against the society that would not allow the women to get out there and look like idiots on the golf course like the men, the Ladies Putting Club of Saint Andrew's was founded, and it was essentially the origin of miniature golf. The beginning stages of that was in eighteen sixty seven. It was not though, for another fifty years or so till
like the early nineteen one hundreds nineteen and sixteen. I think it was where the first standardized minister golf course was created. That was in Pinehurst, North Carolina. And if I'm not mistaken, I believe the miniature golf capital of the world is in Myrtle Beach.
Yes, you've talked about it before because you drove through there.
Yeah, we drove through there when my father in law lives part of the year in North Carolina. So we drove through there and it was it was insane, how many minutes like this street after street of nothing but ministure golf courses. Now the big breakthrough moment, as I give you the full, all inclusive history of ministure golf, there were two things that changed miniature golf and really
took it took off. In nineteen twenty two they invented essentially artificial turf, the fake green carpet turf whatever, So that was a big moment. And then in the nineteen thirties they created obstacles like windmills and castles and crap like that, and then after that, forget about it. So that's all the fun facts I have on miniasterure golf, Danny, I have nothing other other than that.
I think I think that we're all way too smart about miniature golf now.
Yeah. Yeah, when's the last time you went miniature golfing. It's been a good decade. Yeah, there is a miniature golf course. It's still there. I'm not sure if it is just down the street from the Fox Sports radio studios, right off the one oh one if you're coming from.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's still there with the batting pages.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have been to that one a few times back many many years ago. We used to go futs around. I think they filmed some movies there too. I believe some famous movies were filmed that that miniature golf course. So or the batting cages, all the arcade and whatnot. On this pot, we've got the chop House, Javier Ant Attack, and the Word of the Winnen, all of that, all of that content coming up here throughout.
Not too And I was watching some of the NBA last night, Danny, not not too And there was another dud, the Cleveland, Indiana game. Not much, not much of a game. And Tyrese Haliburton, you're talking about coming crashing back down to earth. Tyrese Haliburton, who had a couple of big shots in Cleveland for the Pacer and he you talk about sticking up the place two of eight. He had four points in the game and three turnovers.
Yeah, he pulled a James Harden.
Well, some would say, well, I can't. I'm not going to go there. I'll leave it alone. Yeah. You see, you're trying to pick a fight.
I'm not.
You're trying to pick a fight. I know what you're doing. You're trying to pick a fight, and I'm not going to engage.
I just want to know why your promo, your anti Laker playoff promo ran one hundred and seventy five times on the network, and your Clipper promo ran exactly zero times.
Well, listen, if you don't listen, I did multiple monologues about the Clippers and their downfall, and I went minute by minute, and if you choose not to listen, But you see, you.
Folks, it wasn't It wasn't that I didn't listen. I did hear that show, and I heard you call them. Let's see, how did you phrase it gutless? Did you use that word? Yeah, you said it was a gutless game seven performance up. They didn't try Yeah, and you said, you said you tuned away because you said if they didn't try, then you weren't gonna.
That is correct. But the moment I tuned out was when Russell Westbrook was shooting a foul shot and he missed it, and there were three Clipper players that stood there while Westbrook sashayed his way through the lane hustling to get the rebound, while they were sitting there holding their Johnson, the Clipper players. So I said, hey, listen, I don't need to see this like it's you know, it's ridiculous.
Now, you know what's coming up in a couple hours here the Madison Square Garden crowd is gonna be going bananas.
Yeah. This afternoon game today, right is early start at the garden, the mecca.
Yeah, where the cheapest nosebleed seat is seven hundred and twenty one dollars.
Yeah, I'm good. I can I can sit and watch on my TV, and I'm fine. I don't need There's a lot of people in New York that have ridoculous amounts of money because of obviously Wall Street and all that, So knock yourself out, good luck. I saw one one of the more expensive I think was the most expensive. You want to sit near all the celebrities on celebrity Row. It's like two tickets for one hundred thousand or something like that. Fifty grand get to sit on celebrity Row.
A game, by the way, a game that the Celtics have to have, well.
You would assume they have to have the game, but you would also have assumed they had to have game number two and they lost that. So yeah, very very true. I don't know. I did enjoy pat Riley yesterday, who says he has no plans to retire. Obviously he was going to retire, he wouldn't say that, and he's you know, he talked about blowing up the roster and all that stuff, and he's not going to apologize to Jimmy Butler. Riley. When you get to a certain age and listen, Riley's old.
He's eighty. I think he's eighty years old or something like that. And he's old. But people, well they just try to push you away when you get to a certain age. And Riley, I I dealt with him a little bit. He left La to go to the Knicks
early on. I mean it was, you know, I was a young pump, but I heard many stories from the Great Joe McDonald about pat Riley and some of the stuff that it took place back in the Showtime days with the Lakers, and yeah, he's a he's a firecracker and he's only getting more fiery as he gets older, pat Riley. So there is that. Well, this last week, you know, it's a Saturday pod, which is the Life of Mallar, Life of Danny g And so this past week I went into the Mallard test kitchen. It was
open for business. I added another new dish because I know you're very concerned about my dietary habits and that, and futsing around the kitchen the culinary arts. So I was experimenting the us the test kitchen. I was futting around and I fell down this this kind of spider hole with different recipes on I think it was on instagramer.
So I was on one of the social media I don't know, messing around with my phone, and then I fell into this thing where they had all these different foods and different recipes or whatever, and it wasn't really like the recipe. It was like, hey, this is a new restaurant, this is very popular or whatever. So I fell that on this thing. And the item I cooked up here I found on Instagram and I'd never heard of it. It's the chopped cheese sandwich, the New York
chop cheese sandwich. Are you familiar with that sandwich? Dany Have you ever had a New York chop cheese sandwich?
No? Actually, I was googling it as you were talking about it.
Yeah. Yeah, So I've been to New York for a long time. My brother lives in New York and i'd go there every couple of years to visit him, and the kids have grown up. They're all grown up now, so I'd never even heard of it. But the chop sandwich is New York City staple.
Look it's good. I don't know if it's because I'm hungry this morning, but that looks good.
It's really good and easy to make. Dan, you you should get in there and you could. You could make this and it's great. So it supposedly came from the bodegas, and I think it started in Harlem. Supposedly. I don't know. There's a debate where it started. But it's just basic as can be. It's this ground beef, it's onion, put a lot of seasoning on it and a ton of cheese, and you chop it all up and mix it all together.
And yeah, you put that in there and put it on some bread and melt the cheese and good to go, and you're good. Well, no, the ranch is not part of it. Now, there are there are toppings that are option I call them optional. Lettuce don't need it, Tomato don't need it. I mean, there's other things you can put on there. But it's it's served on a on a Hogy roll or a hero roll as they call it in New York. And so it's supposed to start in Harlem and at some deli which I guess is
somewhat famous and all that. I don't know. I've never heard of the deli. But the Malar Food Scorecard, the Malar Food Scorecard Danny on the chopped cheese sandwich, which was made in the Malard Test kitchen. The chop House scale of one to ten. Now, ten would be the perfect perfect meal. I'm at a nine, nine pointer, not a ten, not a ten. Now, this is a first cousin of the cheese steak. It is a first cousin of the cheese steak. Very similar to a cheese steak.
Obviously the meat's different, but other than that, it's you can add the bell pepper if you want. I just did the onions the cheese.
And what kind of flavoring did you put on the ground beef.
Yes, I put a lot of seasoning, a lot of pepper, and then I mixed in some It's not everything seasoning, but it's got like garlic, salt and a little more pepper and just kind of I was very generous with the season very generous. And the key to the ground beef I've noticed is you have to get it a little crisp like part of it's got to be crisp, but you got to cook the ground beef for a fair amount if it's not crisp but doesn't have that same that same rasmataz to it, so you got to
have that mixed in. But it was enjoyable. I'll make it again at some point. I don't know how often I want to make it, but it's really simple to make, and I like things that are simple, and it taste good. And you only live once. She might as well, you're not here for a long time, here for a good time, so you might as well, enjoy yourself and every once in a while go for it. So that was my new dish, the chopped cheese sandwich. I saw something like this.
It was Anthony Bourdain, I guess helped expand it. He's been dead for a while, but he didn't know about it, and that was like a big deal. I'd never even heard of it, as I said, until until recently. But maybe maybe if I had a friend and my friend into a guy named Avier, maybe then Danny, then I would have known about it. But I did not.
Yeah, So I this past week, I was pretty much at work, and when I wasn't at work, I was at home thinking about work. And when I wasn't thinking about work, I was on my laptop doing extra work. It was one of those sort of weeks. So I'm gonna pull the curtain back a little bit because everything that happened to me happened in the studios. Do you want to hear the story about Brian No, Chris Purfet or Iowa Sam uh So? There's three stories, three stories. Where do you want to start?
Let's let's start with Chris Purfet worked on my show several times, A proud, proud guy from Toledo, Ohio, if I'm not mistaken.
That's right. Everybody assumes he's from Detroit because he's such a lion honk, but he actually is from Ohio. So Perfet, I guess is Catholic. Not that that matters. But it was the crowning of the new Pope this fast.
That's right, the Pope, the big announcement, you first American pope.
From Nova from Villa Nova, standing five eleven. So the guys Covino in which they had a lot of fun, and I'll get to that in a second, because on air they talked just a few minutes of pope talk because they were both raised Catholic, so they had some fun with it. Chris Purfetto took it very seriously because he was in here doing a morning shift. And then when the Dan Patrick show was over, you know that studio goes quiet because Colin does his show out of
a different studio. Well, purfet was still in that studio with every screen set to the Pope coverage by a different network, so he just think of NFL red zone, but this was Pope coverage.
Does he realize though, that they used the same feed, like they're.
Not I guess yeah, I guess they had just different people opining or so.
Yeah, the talking heads AGA, but the seed. I'm pretty sure the Vatican provides the camera feeds. I don't probably have eighteen cameras the Vatican. They have like one standard.
I guess he wanted different takes on what was happening.
It's very important. You don't want to make sure everyone's a line with their thanks so that.
This is the first time I've ever heard of somebody watching something like that and needing multiple screens. But Iowa Sam went in and said, hey, uh, there's an engineer on the line, and and Jason Stewart was in there as well, and he was like, yeah, he's he's going to run a test right now, so you're going to have to turn the TV volume down. And Profett looked at Jason Stewart and IOA Sam like they were nuts, and he said, no, that's not happening right now. I need to watch this coverage.
What does he need to watch it for? Is he is he to go on see NBC or something can break it down how it relates to the business of I mean, what are you doing?
So I guess from the way the story was related to me. Jay stew had to just be very blunt and say, we need this room right now, and Profet wasn't wasn't too pleased, but he had to switch the Pulpe coverage to his phone and walk down the hallway kicking rocks. We all love Chris. He is a passionate guy. The things he really likes, he's super passionate about. I guess this is one of them. So I'm gonna remember that.
And I think if I ever see like a Pupe magnet or any sort of Pope memorabilia, I'm gonna get it for a Profet.
I am obviously not Catholic, I'm definitely not. But Danny, I gotta tell you the Pope story. I'm pretty sure that this dude listened to my show back in the day.
I believe it because he's a Chicago dude who goes to White Sox game.
Yeah, I mean sports talk radio. We had Mike North on here last week, and sports radio is part of the culture. If you're a sports fan in Chicago, you're listening to sports radio. And I can't believe how the time is gone. It just blows by. But in twenty oh five, when the White Sox won the World Series. I was working at Fox Sports Radio. We were on in Chicago on the score in Chicago, and there's a photo which has gone viral of the gentleman named Robert who now became Pope Leo, who was at a White
Sox game. I believe it during the World Series series, and so, I mean there's a pretty good chance it was about a crazy He wasn't the Pope obviously then, but yeah, I just thinks he became the Pope and he was wearing the photo was wearing a White Sox jersey. How about how about that as a flex. We don't know what jersey, like what player jersey was wearing, but.
Can you imagine can you imagine being Harold Baines and you're like, man, this dude actually worships me.
I was trying to I was trying to think, like the two thousand and five White Sox, like, what do you think the future Pope? What jersey do you think he was? I don't know, I mean, because he had like you can just see the stripes of the jersey. You cannot see the name or the number an like that. But that team that won the World Series, which was a one off. I think they were not great aft They didn't win another World Series. That was the only
one they appeared in with Ozzie Yann. But that was the team that had Paul Knerico former Dodger, by the way, former Dodger. Uh pod Sednik, who's got the greatest SoundBite of all time, the king of the cliches, got Pod Sednick. And then we played that, and we haven't played that in a while. I don't think the Lorrain is aware of that. We got to go out and get him. Is one game in a long season. He'd like thirty
five different Uh. It was sports cliches, back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to and it was actually that was when he was on the Dodgers, Pod Sednick after he had left the White Socks. He wasn't on the White Sox. That White Sox team also had Carl Everett over him.
Look a look at it. I found Scotty's drop.
Let's see.
Well, they're all important. We got to win as many as we can. A lot of baseball we played. Anything can happen. We're gonna come the yard each and every day, battle each night, and look up at the NFCEE.
What we're saying.
We know our work is cut out for us. We got a lot of work to do.
Hopefully we can all come together realize what we have here and try to get something done.
So good And the great thing about that Denny is I don't think he references baseball. I think that's just you could use that like for example, we could say, hey, this is uh, this is Jason Tatum of the Boston Celtics, and here are his thoughts on what they need to do against the next Jason.
Well, they're all important.
We got to win as many as we can.
Oh man, Uh.
That is that is one of the all time greats. And also the John McClaren, remember you played that a lot. John McClaren was an interim like part time brief manager of the Seattle Mariners, and he went on, I'm sick and tired of losing, and if these guys are, you know, we gotta go out there. We gotta, you know, win these games. And he went on his lump. But another guy that never mentioned baseball just was Genie Eric terms John McLaren. It was it was so good and I
just love those classic. The evergreen SoundBite is my favorite among the drops. Were talking about Tortorella. You know, sucked at a time. He cannot suck the things that you can play out of context, but they still work. So the pod said Nick the McLaren and obviously the suck at a time he cannot suck from John Tortorella. All among the greatest. But this we started this with the Pope.
So yes, one more quick Pope story, okay, right before and in the middle. This is like the cherry filling to the donut. So Brian now unfortunately, had a little medical issue a few days back.
Saw that I saw that what happened. I saw a photo of him, like he in a hospital.
They're not exactly sure. He thought it was a stroke, like a mild stroke at first, but yeah, right, but he's already back at home. And when I checked on him a couple of days ago, he said he actually drove his car and he was feeling, you know, halfway normal. So if it was a mild stroke, it was very mild. So that's good news. But around here we were all worried about Bno. So one of the girls on the staff, of course, it was one of the girls got a greeting card at like a get well soon card and
was passing it around for everybody to sign. So Friday, I get the card and I start signing it, and I and I'm kind of you know what you do with all cards. You look at what other people are saying in the card, And at the very top somebody wrote in big letters, happy birthday b No so out of touch that they just assumed it was a birthday
card being passed around. Obviously, obviously they didn't look at what other people were writing, because every other signature on the card said dude, feel better, get better soon, We need you on the air, bro and stuff like that. And then this one said happy b Dave. You know the smiley face. Yeah, so I said, who has the white out because we need some of that right now.
You could have written like psych just kidding, you know, but that's pretty funny. Ah.
And then finally on the Pope coverage, so that same day that CNR having fun with it on the air that the day it happened, they said it was great TV coverage. The only thing missing for the event because they said it was kind of like the NFL Draft the way it looked. But they said it lacked drama because there was no big introduction for the new pope, like it should have been like, you know, Michael Buffer or somebody like that, almost like bringing a boxer out,
you know, from Villanova. And of course they had Iowa Sam play like the famous Chicago Bulls music when the Bulls were announced. So then they're talking about the names they used when they had their confirmations. Well, you know what here, let me play for you what it sounded like on the air.
Do you know my confirmation name?
You got to pick it where I grew up at it like, and I chose I chose Joseph because of Joe.
Oh.
Iok, because if you had an amazing Technicolor dream coat. I chose Thomas after my grandfather, Thomas Thomas.
Yeah.
So I was supposed to be Javier, but the the.
Xavier was my confirmation name.
What that?
But the clergyman that was doing this ceremony, he called me Xavier and I'm like, no, it's Xavier. He's from like I think he was from Argentina or something. So you so you picked like a saint, right, is that what you say?
I packed my grandfather's name Javier bro Are you serious?
Ioa Sam I.
Was, but he is. It is spelled x A v i e R. He was from. Oh he's from Spain.
Spain, Okay, if we called you, that is his confirmation name, Xavier Spain.
By the way, that might be the funniest thing, your standard midwestern guy. But the hair's a little different.
He looks like Peabody from that card soon.
Yeah, midwestern value, right, like everyone everyone in radio. Little neurotic, you know, we're all like that.
Yeah, he's very neurotic. But it hit the funny bone. And these guys they called him Javier for the rest of the week, So he is not going to live this down for the rest of eternity. Now on Covino and Rich, he's going to be Hoavy Air.
What's his name, Carlos perfect. That's that's hilarious. That's great. This is why you know, you don't let your kids pick their names, you know whatever, Hold off on that. That's funny, man. I did not know that. But that's that's that's a good one. That's a good one. All right. Time Now for the word of the week, the word of the week. The word of the week here is muscle everyone wants muscle, whether you want to be strong, you want muscle. You want to you know, date someone
or hook up with someone who's got muscle. So the word muscle is a Latin word, and it actually the origin of it is it means little mouse in Latin. And that's because ancient Romans. This is great. Ancient Romans thought the movement of muscles under the skin resembled a mouse scurrying around. You know how your flex with your bicep and thing pops up there. The term was adopted
into English in the fourteenth century. And so your bicep, according to the ancient Roman dialect, the bicept is you got a little tiny rodent in there, And that is how they came up with the word muscle.
How about when you get a Charlie horse. Uh oh back of your what is that quad? Oh my, that feels like a big rat. A New York City rat is in there.
Yeah. Yeah, that's well fed, a well fed New York City rat. Oh. I forgot to get to that. I mentioned ant attack. I got to get this real quick, Danny. So did you see the latest invasive species to it spread across America. There was a report out earlier this week that we need to be on guard Danny for the Asian needle ant. I didn't see this, Yes, we need to be on guard. Now. These things have actually
been in the United States for a number of years. However, they continue to grow and it's becoming more and more of an issue. They're mostly concentrated in the South, but there's some reports this week that the species has spread to the Midwest and the New England States as it worked a toway across the country. So you're saying, what the f is an Asian needle ant. Well, the reason this is, they say, is a big deal because they're very tiny, as most ants are. By the way, they're
twenty quadrillion ants on Earth. If you were to say what is the most populous thing on planet Earth, it would be the ant. There's twenty that's a drillion of them. Anyway, the Asian needle ant one sting can send you, if you're of a sensitive type, into anaphlactic shock. One sting from one of these things creates an allergic reaction. The condition is called it's called the described as intense fast acting. Symptoms include swelling, wheezing, rashes, dizziness, depending on its severity,
and at its worst, it will kill you. A person would lose the ability to breathe, their blood pressure would plummet, similar to like a food allergy. And so officials currently don't know how many people have died from the Asian needle ants thing worldwide or in the US, but they claim watch out, watch out. So another thing to worry about. Remember the murder hornet from a few years ago.
Of course, yeah, I had an expert get on the phone with Klay Travis and talk about it.
And when we were younger, Dan, it was the killer bees are on the way. Remember that the killer bees are coming and they're gonna We're all dead, We're all done. They were giving updates. When people used to watch the news every night, they were like, oh my god, the killer bees. It's all over. All right, we'll get out on that. Danny. We got Celtics and Nicks. I'll be checking that out today. I also have to I have to go to a wedding today, Danny. My my my
wife is dragging me to a family wedding. So I'll be doing that tonight.
Well, you know, when it's a good time to take a break, you know where everybody grabs each other's hips. They start doing the train I'm good, yeah, the conga ben.
When they do the conga line, I'm god do the yeah.
And that's when you go take a break to the bathroom.
The bath yeah, I mean so my my my appearance is needed, my uh so I will be there. I will represent all right, You got any going on to Danny tonight? Anything at all?
Just hanging out, yeah, producing this fine podcast and then crashing out, man, because not only was it a crazy week at work, but it was a week where I had to hold down the home front because my better half has been under the weather, and then big Baby Koa caught her sickness and now the past two days he's.
Had a cold. Uh oh yeah, no fun, dude.
And that's what happens with the weather changes, right, because it was like gray and Seattle style weather here in LA and then two days later it was ninety three degrees.
Yeah, it's it's time of the year. Although we get a lot better than back east where it's like forty degrees and then it's like, you know, ninety, but it's us. It wasn't too far off this week anyway. I have a great day, thank you for listening to well the mail Bag tomorrow and I started looking at some of the questions for the mail Bag, Danny, and there's some very deep, deep questions, so be prepared for that. All right.
Time to put our philosophical minds to youths.
All right, we'll talk to it next time. We'll tell you tomorrow'll see you later.
Skater fite delicious