Kutbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Ben mal That would be me saying my name and the third person and Danny g Radio. This is not the original recipe podcast that would be the overnight show during the week. This is the Extra Crispy, extra Spicy Fifth Hour podcast, only available here because we can say bad words like the word shit. We can't say the word shit on radio, but we can say the word shit here on the podcast. That's how you know it's a podcast, Danny, and not
some broadcast thing on commercial radio. No no, no, no no no.
This past throwback Thursday on C and R, we were talking about America's best jingles of all time. I know You're a jingle guy, I love jingle. We brought that up number one radio station jingles TV commercials all that. There was actually a national radio campaign in the late nineties. It was for corn nuts. Do you remember this. They sang bust a nut, bust a nut. And I don't think that that would be okay to play on the radio right now. I don't know how they got away with it back then.
Now, if you want to have fun and totally nerd yourself out on YouTube, there's a portal you can go in that's nothing but old jingles.
Oh, I love it.
It is so awesome. And I always ring this up when we talk about jingles because I'm a radio nerd and we've talked about this before. Clayton Kershaw's father, Yeah, made his living composing radio jingles.
He was museum. I brought that up on the show. They had not none of them knew about that.
Yeah, it's a great fun fact. Clayton Kerschel's father passed away about, you know, ten years ago, but he was a He was a composer of jingles for radio stations.
And there's what you had a name shout, So did I. Right before everything went digital. We had these carts and it set our name on it. It's a jingle shout and there'd be a jingle. It was like back to back fresh jams. And then there was a donut where just the music was there with no singing, and I would hit the shout saying Danny G. And then it would say Q one O four seven or something like that. You know, it was so cool. Z one hundred in
New York had a famous jingle. Most famous stations from back in the day had a jingle.
Yeah, there was a period everyone did. It was a very popular form of advertising. Jingles have actually been used for how many use you think jingle has been around? Broadcasting started in the nineteen twenties, but I bet you they predate broadcast. Thing you did the McDonald's one yesterday's podcast, didn't you? Oh?
Yeah? The butt up which a rapper actually wrote that one, did he?
Yeah? Okay, all right?
Push a t from a popular group called the.
Clips Nationwide is on your side. That's kind of right. The one I quote all the time when a player gets hurt. What do I say anytime a player gets hurt? Danny G? What is my my go to line? I quote Rice Crispies, Snap Pop. That's partly because when I was a kid, I I recall though, that commercial, it's stuck in my head.
Remember Arms did Lucky Charms had a famous jingle magically delicious.
Oh yeah, how about this one pop pop fizz fizzhe it is?
Yeah, YouTube had a top ten and that was in there. Boy, Oh, kit Cat, give me a break, Give me a break. Here's the winging off a piece of that kit Cat bar.
That's a good one. How about this one, I Wish I was an oscar by your wead.
That's one of the og ones that lasted for years, the old school band aid jingle.
Yeah, Oh, how about I don't want to grow up, I want to be a toys Yeah, that was solid, man.
There's been so many over the years.
We keep going, no one, no one will be listening to this party. We can keep going, will be the only ones doing. Nobody, nobody listen, you got.
No man, check this out. Not only were we flooded with calls that hour, people were still calling about it on Friday afternoon and texting and tweeting about it. So this struck a nerve, a good nerve with people. Because this stuff it's proven. Obviously, it stays in our head forever.
No, it's true. Listen when when I think about ice cream, I think about what would you do for a condact bar.
That's a good one. Nobody brought that one up. How about here's it? How about Mentos? Mentos Nils had that go. Remember the guy in the suit, he sits down on the wet paint, gets up and they just make his whole suit striped.
The fresh maker. Oh yeah, yeah, I remember, I remember that. How about the one that was an infomercial and everyone used to goof on it. I think it's in the late eighties, early nineties. Clap on, clap off, the clapper. Yeah.
Guy said that these are stingers, the word for what we do, a stinger. But like when you're out playing softball in a rec league or something like that and somebody makes a great snag, you'll always hear somebody go no no, no, no, no.
No, oh yes, ESPN.
Yeah, play of the day. And then also with the NFL Draft coming up this week, that tone they play before every pick.
Sure he's in yeah no, no, no. I'm reading a study, it says study was according to a recent study, up to ninety five up to as a weasel term, but up to ninety five percent of people who here jingles are remembered by them the most effective marketing tool. But yet at some point in our business and radio they were looked down upon as being old and dated and dusty and you can't use them. But yet there they work.
I feel like they're on the comeback because there's a couple of commercials playing on our network right now where you hear a jingle and it's a new, modern product. I just don't think they're ever gonna die.
Now, Well, we should have the we should have the company make like a jingle open for the podcast.
That, yeah, that would be good, right, yeah.
If I think we're gonna got to the mailbag tomorrow, but somebody for number one, yeah something the number one, yeah, because I'll get I don't want to do it now. But in the mailbag somebody had written in saying, are you going to change the open to the podcast? And we should if we ever do change it, I think we should go that way. I think we should find the jingle.
That's idea.
I think we just go big, go jingle or go home. So we had the Mallard travel logs.
See Cow Go, See Cow Cow, which, by the way, as little kids, we thought it was pussy Cow, pussy Cow. These guys on the show, they're not from LA, so they had no idea what I was talking about. But my older brother was cracking up, laughing.
Yeah, that's a solid. So we had a travelog yesterday. We will continue a little bit of the travelog.
Will day shot nurse style.
We start out with the wedding weekend Uber And I'm not talking about like actually using Uber or any of the car writing services. I was the Uber. So we had rented a car to drive from LA to the Bay Area, and my mother in law tagged along. Now you hear horror stories about mothers in law and all that, but I get along with.
My mother in law.
So she's a nice woman, a little neurotic at times because he's a nurse. She was a nurse in the trauma emergency room in LA one of the worst neighborhoods in LA for her career, but she's cool. We get along well. But she was in the car with us on the ten hour drive up to Northern California and then at the hotel a bunch of the family, pretty much everyone because most of the people don't live in Northern California, so they were all staying at this hotel,
people from all over the country. And in order to get to the wedding. We'll tell you about that in a second, because I know you're dying to hear about some random wedding of people you don't know. But the wedding was in the forest. Like I'd never been to a wedding in the forest. It was out in the redwood forest, which I didn't even knows possible you could do that. But there was like a ranch, which is not a ranch because it's in a forest, So I
don't know what the hell you call it. Resort something. They had wedding.
Yeah, in space. I've seen this before up there.
Yeah, I've never seen that. But anyway, in order to get to the forest, you couldn't drive out there. There wasn't room to park. It was in the middle of the forest, and so you had to go to a destination drop off at this location and they picked up a shuttle. Yes, a shuttle bus takes you out to the forest. But to get there, there's not a lot of parking. So I had.
The rental car to four by four shuttle.
So so Danny I was the uber I was. I drove all the aunts, my wife's family, cousins, people I don't even know who they were. I drove them to the location.
I was the Uber Benny the bus driver.
Let me tell you something. You know, I went all in. I went all in. You know, we have some great Uber drivers that listen to the show, the Overnight radio show and whatnot. And my move is I went out there and I offered them mints, Like a good Uber driver, what kind of music do you want? You know, whatever you need.
You know, the whole thing iPhone charger.
I did not have that, but I had the mints and I had the.
Music mini water bottles, and so we.
Drove them, drove them around and cons it would be a little awkward, but no, So that was my gig. And then we went and I parked, and then we went out to the wedding. And this is so I got in this debate with my my wife and because the wedding started, we had to be there. I think that we were there at like four o'clock. And so I'm like, okay, when when are we out on this? Like what's the outtime on this? Because we had to wait for a shuttle, and so the wife's like Okay,
So it ends at ten. So I'm like, I'm I'm six hours. I'm like, and I'm explaining to my wife that in any event, like I look at these things like a Vegas show or a Broadway play. If you've ever been to a Broadway play, there nutes and there's a there's a break in the middle, right there, No more than ninety minutes. You go to a Vegas show, they're ninety minutes and there's a there's a mid season, mid act break or whatever. And so I'm like, well,
why don't we just go. We'll do the wedding, will take about fifteen minutes, we'll stick around, we'll wait for the cake, and then the cake's the sign to go, and then we're out after the cake. We don't need to stay, you know. And my wife said, well, no, this is my brother's wedding. We're going to stay, and you know. But but no, it's ninety minutes, you know, and they won't even know when we're gone and all that. But yeah, so we ended up staying till the very end, Danny,
the very end of this wedding. But I want you to know that I made the most of my time because I tore the floora I was. I was torn up from the floor up. I tore the dance floor up. Is what I do.
I was disco Benny out there, centipede man.
I figured.
You know, my my wife white boy racist. Yeah, so my my wife has taken me out dancing a few times, mainly because she likes to dance. I don't, but I have a little little niece and nephew, and my niece loves to dance, right, so she wants to dance with Uncle Benny.
So I'm like all right, and so my move this is my move is too because I'm a big guy. I do the dance move, and then I can pick the kids up and spin them around like they're on a ride, one of those rides at the carnival, and they every kid loves this, right, so we do the day. I pick them up and spin them by their arms around.
Like that new three sixty camera they have at the Super Bowl at our stage.
Yeah. Yeah, So I'm doing this, and then what do kids always you know, you have your son and all that.
Do it again?
Yeah, do it again? Right, I'm like and I'm like, well, on my head, I'm like sure, you know, I got it. I'm stuck. I'm prisoner until ten o'clock.
You throw up your chicken.
Oh my god, I did it so many times. I had to stop and I was walking like I was drunk. I couldn't even walk in a straight line. I had to put my hands on the wall. It was so bad.
I was like, oh my god, you were sipping some whiskey.
Yeah, And then by the by the time the night is going on. My my nephew, this this kid, Jude, this kid, he's like he's getting so sweaty. He takes his shirt off like he's a Chippindale's dancer.
Down Now.
It's it's why it was.
It was. It was fun.
It was a good time, and I actually enjoyed it. I didn't. I didn't. I made the most of my time. I figured I had to be there anyway, so might as well have a good time. Although there was one awkward moment, which my my wife says is like a Larry David type moment. There, like a Curby enthusiasm type moment. So at the the meal, most important part of the wedding, the meal, you know that you know, you give the gift and you gotta be there and you gotta get the food, and most wedding food sucks.
This was okay.
They had bugogi and rice for me, which was pretty good. I like bugogi. Cut that meat. They have it at Costco where I live anyway, So whatever, find eat. And as as I'm eating, I did get a bad piece of ugogie, kind of a chewy one. So I had options here, Danny, all right, I'm going to fork in the road. Do I a just keep powering through and chew the bubblegum like piece of meat which I found disgusting, and just.
Go for it.
Do I be spit it out into a napkin, a nice cloth napkin in front of everyone at the table who's looking at me, or see, go to the bathroom, excuse myself, and then you get rid of it in the bathroom.
But you got to keep it in your mouth like a squirrel.
Yeah, you gotta be like a nineteen eighties baseball player with chewing with tobacco, chewing tobacco. So I chose, see, Danny, I try. I thought that was the light thing. I thought that was the proper decorum. But here's where I got. I got totally screwed. This is great, So I'm like, I kind of mumbled to the wife, I gotta go to the bathroom. I didn't have to go to the bathroom at all, by the way, I did not have to go to the bathroom at all, and so fine.
But I got up and I waddled off to the bathroom, which is up a hill by the way, and go outside on the cold, crisp night. They put a tent up in the forest to have the dinner. So I walk up to the bathroom area and I walk over. I opened the door and out comes the groom of the wedding. He had gone my brother in law to go to the bathroom, and he says, hey, Ben, good to see you like that. I I couldn't say anything because I had the water meat in my mouth, So I was a dick hell and I didn't say anything
to him. It was very I felt terrible because it was in.
E motion, use your hands like you're Italian.
Oh so bad Dan, I mean, this is he just got married. He's like nice, He's saying hello to me, and I couldn't say anything because I had the lot of the bad meat that was the bubble gump in my mouth.
And were you able to redeem yourself later.
Well, I said hello to him late. I don't I think he was enjoying himself with the open bar there, so I think I don't think he cared too much. But I felt bad. I felt bad about it. I was like, oh man, but I didn't. You know, if I would have been I felt like it would have been worse, Danny, if I had started to say hey, brother in law, and then the meat starts falling out of my motion with your hands to a head nod.
This has happened to me before, because I try not to do it now. But I have the little travel sized mouthwash okay, and obviously I'm not carrying a toothbrush around at work. But there's some times where, you know, after a late lunch at the studios, I want to use the mouthwash and I'll be walking to the bathroom to spit it out, and somebody will try to stop me and speak to me, give me a point at your mouth. You're they're like, what what's in your mouth?
You weirdo? And fish? So it's it's it's all bad.
Yeah, it's uh, it's pretty pretty wild. What else did there as a couple of things that happened that I wanted to share with the class here. Uh. When we were you know, we had a day where we were kind of did some family stuff in the afternoon and evening, but in the morning time we went to the Winchester House. Have you ever been You've been to the Oh?
Yeah, my. When my family moved up to the Bay, my elementary school took us on a field trip there and I was spooped out as a kid.
Yeah. So the Winchester House is the first testimonial to mental illness. Uh and uh, because I I learned, you know, when I didn't really know much about it, I knew it was haunted, and I knew it was like the biggest, most ridiculous house they never stopped building. The the daughter of the Winchester gun family.
Yeah, yeah, And so she believed the ghosts of anyone killed by one of those rifles were coming back to haunt her. So she built on, kept adding on to trying to fool the ghosts into like fake hallways rooms that yeah.
Like yeah. But the story that the tour guide said was the reason she did that is she because she went to like a psychic or something or a medium who told her listen, if you just keep never stop building, and that's that'll keep the spirits away. You think that person like laughed, kept laughing at the woman, listened to her or him and just kept building.
Maybe that was the wife of the construction guy.
Right in the well, and it was built for that. She was a very small woman, and I was walking around there. I'm a pretty tall guy. It was the stairs were not designed for people with my size shoes and stuff, but it was. It was cool, and they got rid of most of it. There's only a little bit of it left, like they tore a lot of it down.
Not only that, did you notice what is surrounding that house?
Now, Well, there's a movie theater on one side.
Yeah. Yeah, and there's like an open air mall. There's all these office buildings, modern buildings surrounding this old, old mansion. And it's crazy because when I went as a kid, that movie theater was there, but there wasn't all the other businesses surrounding it. So talk about some property that
is worth a mint. They're obviously never going to get rid of that famous mansion, but it was so weird because it feels like that house in the cartoon movie up where it's just sitting in the middle of a huge city.
Yeah, yeah, it's like I hear it's like that in like Greece or Italy. I've not been to those places where you have these really like, you know, this Winchester house isn't that old in comparison, but you have some ancient ruins in Greece. It's like, isn't that the old joke about the pyramids in the Middle East? There across the way there's like a McDonald's or something. You know, it's like, yeah, it's just ridiculous. Anyway, what else did I want?
Yeah, there's a Chipotle now across the street from.
The exactly I think there is, you know there is there is actually, yeah, we stopped there to get some Anyway, on the way back, we we high tailed it through California, went down through the bread Basket, the flatulent zone of California.
And here's another deja vu situation. So when I was driving the wedding uber one of my aunts, we drove back on on Saturday, and one of my aunts is like, hey, you we're gonna leave early because there's a big storm coming into California and they might might close the grapevine because of snow. So I recall her telling me this and I was like, I pass it on to the to the wife. I said, you know, it looks like there's gonna be some snow in the grapevine and could
be problem for us. And she said, no, no, now, there's gonna be no snow. You had nothing to worry about. Everything'll be fine. She looked at the forecast light rain. So we left kind of late in the day. We had to transport some of the wedding flowers to get saved. I didn't know you could do this, Danny, but wedding flowers, there's a way you can save them forever. I don't know what they put on them.
They dry them out with They spray some stuff on them and dry them.
Out, something like that. Yeah, So we had to take some of the bouquet, like the bouquet and some of the other stuff. Fine, so we had to wait for that. So we take off. I demand. My one demand was we stop in Gilroy.
It's the same poison your wife puts in your food later, by the.
Way, So we stopped in Gilroy. I rolled down the windows, smelled the garlic. Oh so good, So amazing. Stopped at the garlic I got a garlic burger with the roasted garlic on top, and then went to the garlic. We went over to the garlic store. They have garlic stores, and then we bought some garlic products that were overpriced tremendously, and but who cares, because you're in Gilroy, so.
You do it.
And then we got back on the road. We're driving and we didn't stop as many times on the way back. We did stop. And I wonder if you know what this I forget the name of the place. Is this touristy trap outside Gilroy that has like a little train and they sell like fruits and oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd never been there before.
Yeah that's a cool spot.
Yeah, it's got a lot going on. So we stopped there. Then we proceeded to stop. Out of leaving Gilroy, we proceeded to stop. There's all these fruit stands, twenty avocados for a dollar. You like avocados, My wife's I like avocado. So we stop and then those little baby avocados, but we got them, like we got we got those little
baby avocados. I like goodles of course that they have the fresh and then they tried to upsell you, well, what about strawberries, you know, strawberries afresh, and you know I don't need any strawberry, but no, no, you should get some stoubery and try up sell you. Of course, we made the mistake. The first stand we saw was twenty avocados for a dollar, and then we didn't stop at that one. So then there was another stand that
said ten avocados for a dollar. So so we said we better stop at that one because we probably won't see another one, and that's the last chance.
It's like when the gas price at gas station slowly starts increasing as you drive.
Yeah, so we stopped and we got the ten avocados for a dollar, and then we kept driving, and then the next stand was twenty avocados for a dollar. We're like, oh, fuck you, oh man, And so that was a that was a problem. But we we stopped a couple times. Then we got back and we're driving and it was a light rain. It was a light rain, and the whole time I'm drinking, I'm drinking either water or refresher.
My wife had gotten me from Starbucks for the road trip back, so I'm consistently drinking, and then so of course I had to go to the bathroom. So we had to stop to go to the bathroom, and then I'm drinking some more water. Whatever. We get to the grapevine. It's light rain, you know, light rain. Nothing, it's open.
We made it.
We made it up. We get into the medium part of the grape vine and it starts snowing. Oh my gosh. We're like, oh crap. And of course, I, of course at that point, Danny, I turned to my wife and I did the old I told.
You, Yeah, I told you. I bet that went overwhell oh.
Yeah. This is the second time in a month this has happened. We were leaving Vegas and it started snowing. Going over the hill in the California Death Valley are it started snowing, but that was a light dusting. This was full on snow. This was full Monty snow. And it snowed for about thirty minutes of Maybe I'm exaggerating. It seemed like it was thirty minutes of the drive,
but it was at least fifteen minutes, maybe thirty. As we're going through the Grapevine, it goes up to four thousand the elevation I think at the highest is like four thousand feet or something like that in the Grapevine and I'm driving, people are freaking out. Half the people are driving slow. Other other people are like they're they're driving too fast. The trucks don't really know what to do. It's a big it's a big ship show. And uh and then we get through the snow. They fortunately they
again they didn't close the Grapevine. I think they closed the other side actually coming from La up towards Bakersfield. But our side was fine. But then I had to go to the bathroom again because I've been drinking, so I I I had to pull over. I'm you know, I had to do what bears do in the forest, the Angela's forest, Danny. I had to hit the star got off and yeah, yeah, what's that is? That is
that you go to a basket? Yeah, which was fine except again and yet it's a little one big coming because my mother in law was with us on the way back, so as I, I gotta stop, and you know, she understood. So I tried to find a little like like a tree that I kind of hide behind, you know, But it was night time.
I thought you were gonna say, so you felt like you were watering something?
Yeah, it was. It was nighttime. So I went to the bathroom. But the problem I had when I go to the bathroom out in the great outdoors is I'm always in a rush. Number one. I want to get it over with as quick as possible, so I don't I don't you know what, You settle into the urinald Danny and just everything gets out. But I almost never let it all get out because I'm gonna hurry and I'm worried, Oh, you're not supposed to be doing this
and all that. So I went to the bathroom, got back in the car, immediately start drinking water again, right, immediately start drinking the water again. So we're driving, we're driving, we're driving. We get to where do we get to somewhere? What's the town north of Burbank off the five oh Lend or something like that. Yeah, yeah, I think we're around Sunland. So we we get to there, and I'm like, I go to the bathroom again. You know, I didn't
finish everything I needed to get out. So my wife's like looking on her phone, She's like, all right, there's a Starbucks says I, all right, and so I don't might. I don't remember what town it was in. It might have been it was somewhere around there.
Yeah, that's the home of Roberto.
So stopped at the Starbucks. Get out of the car. Go this is you know, eight o'clock at night. Go to the open the Starbucks. The inside's closed. You can only do the drive through. Well, I need to take a whiz, you know. And I wait, I'm like right right against it, Danny, like I have no, I can't get back in the car. I have to go right now.
That's one of the worst ceilings. What do you think I did? Then peted into a cup.
No, I dumpster? No, yeah, the dumpster. No I did. I did the dumpster. Yeah. I had to do it. I had to do it. It was either that or my pants, you know, I had to do it. So yeah, right there. Anyway, So that back and we went to On the way back, we stopped at the Great l Coyote. And this is where the story is gonna end. So we stopped at El Kyote, great Mexican restaurant in Beverly
in LA. Used to eat there all the time, used to live down the street on Houser down the street from there, then Parklebrea, which a big housing complex there. So went to L Coyote and for for some reason, I randomly on my phone. I was like, looking around, I have a tracking thing where with my brothers. I have brother in Wisconsin, brother in New York, and I can they can keep track of me, and I can keep track of them, and in case we ever die, they can find us. And so I at least find
our phones. And so I looked at my phone. I was like, well, holy crap. My older brother, the one from New York, is in LA and he's like literally across the street from the restaurant. I'm at, what are the odds? What are the odds? And so I start text. I called him. He didn't answer his phone. I text him like, hey, I need I need to see I think you're here.
You know.
He didn't write stalker. Yeah, he didn't write back. So then I text my sister in law, his wife, and I'm like, hey, we're leaving the restaurant here, but it looks like you're like literally right across the street. I would like to see say.
Hello before leaving in your car right now?
Yeah? And uh and then they finally saw it. And then my brother actually Jay walked across the street to come say hello to us at the at the restaurant we were at, and his father in law, who's a very very successful, well known doctor, was it was his birthday and he was having a big birthday dinner at the rest There's an Italian restaurant across the street. Its apparently really good. They never been there, but it's supposed to be really good, and so they were having a
big dinner there at the restaurant. So that was cool. I mean, it was a very odd It was like brotherly love right in the middle. I did not have that on my Bingo card that I would because we could have gone to any restaurant. We were debating which restaurant to go to. It wasn't like we went to El Coyote, this place, which I liked, but we were debating go to Fat sALS or some other restaurant which we normally normally go to.
So, yeah, it's really crazy when things like that happened.
I think they call called serendipity.
Serendipitous for sure.
Yeah, all right, I think we'll get out on that. Anything else, Danny, you want to commode Saturday.
Well, today, after I produced this fine podcast, my wife is dragging me to Disneyland. We had one ticket that's just been sitting there as credit cause a few months back we bought a ticket for her mom speaking of in laws, and her mom was sick and couldn't join us that day. The credit's just been sitting there, So for months she's been saying, all we have to do is buy one ticket because we already have one, So
we are cashing that in today. Say goodbye to the money that's in my checking account right now.
That's It's Saturday at Disneyland. That is a tough one.
Danny. Love the park, hate the prices.
You gotta get there when they When do they open today?
I don't even know. I think it's like eight am.
Yeah, I mean you got to get there early because you can get on rides early. But if you go there like too late in the day, you're screwed.
Well, she used her travel agent portal to get a really good deal on a room. Since we have an eight month old, that's the only way we could really do it. We're gonna have to take a break halfway through the day, go to the room. Change his diapers, let him like crawl around the bed without him falling off this time, and have him take a nap, and then bring them in for the evening and the fireworks and put the Drew Breese baby headphones on him.
Oh yeah, he'll be styling and profiling as he walks around. Everyone be look too, baby, look at the little baby and all that. All right, have you wonderful rest of your day today. We got another pod, the mail Bag, and we might even do some pop goes to culture on the Saturday Pod. But we'll see what we do. Then have a wonderful day. We'll talk to you next time later. Skater I was attracted to the giant metal cock. How dare you
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