Kabbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
The air everyway and welcome into the podcast dojo. You have found the Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio, and we were so happy you have traversed the micro blogging websites and come into the podcast network. I don't know. You can find this podcast everywhere, right, you can find it on the iHeart podcast network. It's available wherever you get your podcasts. But I am here Ben Mahler and Nanny g Radio right over there.
Danny g Rare, just say worldwide.
Ben, you're like Pitbull, Just say you're mister Worldwide.
I'm just doing a word salad. Danny. I'm just talking throwing words out. I don't even know what they mean at this point. It's been a long week. Danny. I'm just I'm just randomly throwing different things out.
I know you saved your best for TV. Now we're getting your sloppy leftovers. O.
No, no, not at all, not at all, not at all. But but I did want to point out. You know there's a TV show. Did you know that Danny Today, Benny Versus the Penny. I've now made it seven weeks and they have not figured out that the show sucks, and I'm still doing the TV show.
I have not heard about this show. Tell me more.
Yeah, so it's it's a it's a new concept, so it's man versus Metal. No one's ever done this before on podcasts or radio. This is a totally original idea, first time we've ever done it. It's called Benny Verny. Isn't that a good name? Benny versus the Penny.
The only thing I could think of that would be better is Danny Versus the Granny.
Yeah, well, well that's a spinoff of that. And so yeah, it returns to cable television today. We make our debut same time slot, as long as the Celtics don't play on Friday. I think next week they actually start playing on Friday, So god only knows when the show is going to be on in Boston, but our hub is NBC Sports Boston, but it's on all of the NBC owned and operated regional cable networks. But it'll be on tonight at seven thirty Eastern, and you can check that out.
Also Beyon in Chicago at ten o'clock. In Philadelphia at six point thirty. The second showing of Benny Versus the Penny though preempted for Phillies postgame coverage after the NLCS game, so I'm upset with the Phillies on that. And it's on a bunch of other places on in La Spectrum. Sportsnet, so Cal Lakers, you don't need to point that out. Also Sportsnet in New York. We've been pretty consistent there.
I've not checked the schedule, but normally Sunday mornings at eleven thirty, so just when you get back from church you can go and turn on turn on Benny Versus the Penny and get old gambling jokes. Anyway, so check your local listenings. Is attributed by NBC. But I am excited about that and it was fun. We did the show yesterday and I've not watched it yet. They do send me a link so I can watch it. I have not been able to watch it yet, so we'll
check that out at some point. But he was pretty good, so we'll see.
And Boston, being the hub of the show, must explain why you picked the lowly Patriots to beat My Raiders last weekend.
Well, and then we point out that that was a great pick right up until mac Jones decided to take a safety for some godsaken reason at the end because the they were getting three Your Raiders edding the three, and it was a two point game, if you remember.
And if your aunt had nuts, she'd be your uncle.
Well, it's twenty twenty three. I think every that's true everywhere, Danny in twenty twenty three. With that anyway, on this edition of the Fifth Hour, we've got Viva Las Vegas meets Paul Harvey, the malor melody, the word of the week or is it a phrase of the week, and whatever else we have time for, but we'll start with this. So the past weekend. This past weekend was crazy, right, an event I had to go to Vegas for with the family, and so it was quite the adventure. We
did the podcast on Friday morning. I've been up all night we do this podcast. I'm up all night. We do the podcast. I do the radio show, as you know, Danny, and then I do the podcast, and then you have to go and you do your day starts with Covino and Rich, but you do the podcast first. So anyway, we did the show together. I took a two hour nap. We then packed up the station wagon and made the trip through the California desert to the tip of Nevada
there in Vegas and it was a total whirlwind. So fortunately, my wife did the drive, and she does not like to drive long trips like this, but normally I'm the one that did it. But we figured we did a cost benefit analysis and we determined that I likely would have fallen asleep somewhere in Apple Valley if if I had driven. So I tried to sleep in the car. Didn't go well. I'm not a car sleep maybe one as a baby. I don't know, my mom's not right, but I don't sleep well eat in bed, so I'm
certainly not going to sleep well in cars. So I tried to sleep in this sunny out and there's noise. I could not sleep. My wife even tried to help me out because she played a really boring podcast of some doctor giving spench jargon, which I thought was going to cause me to fall asleep. But that just made me upset. That's just annoyed me. So I was fuxing around with my phone, and then that annoyed my wife. Right, she wanted to be uh and I'm sure you hear
this all the time. Then you've got to be present, right, you want to be present, and you know, I didn't really feel like being president. But anyway, I got off my phone. So we stopped in Barstow, which is halfway. That's the halfway point between La and Invade you go. It's the stops are if I'm remember correctly, Dan, I just did the trip, So you stop. Usually fly you're a big shot, but I drive. I like drive, So
you stop. First stop is like Apple Valley, that America, and then that's a that's a twenty five percent mark, and then fifty Barstow, and then seventy five percent is like Baker where the Maggi is.
Yeah, Starbucks there in the Apple Valley. That's a big stop off the fifteen freeway. You see all all kinds of people in the Starbucks drive through and inside waiting in a big, long line.
Yeah, you know that that whole area. They have every chain fast food restaurant or quick service restaurant you could possibly want in Apple Valley. It is, and they're all right near the freeway. Yeah, you know, I think it's actually victor Will because Apple Valley is a little bit at off the freeway. They call it Apple Valley Victorville.
Right, I guess the town is Victorville.
Yeah, that's the one that's right near the freeway, and then Apple Valley's a little further down. I've been to Apple Valley before. They have the ugliest street signs in America, the Apple Valley streets. I think I'm going to mention this with you on the podcast, but they're they're orange and brown, which is really I mean, if of all the color combinations to pick. Anyway, made the trip, we stopped in Barstow. Now most people from LA that go to Vegas that the most popular place is in Barstow.
There's a a mall ess not really a mall. It's like a train another thing we've talked about it like a train thing. There's like a yeah, the Del Taco, there's a what Chinese restaurants in there, fast food, Panda Express, right, there's a Panic bandy, so that's popular. And then the other place that's popular is the Del Taco.
Yeah, the og Del Taco Del Taco.
And so we were debating a road trip rare and appropriate. You can eat two meals, You're not going to die. So they cut the fasting a little short. So I was like, I'll eat lunch whatever. So we were going to go to Taco Bell, but my wife's like, you know, or Del Taco rather. I see Taco bellt Del Taco, and you didn't really like it. So we decided she compromised. You knew that I like a certain but so we we went to an authentic California restaurant, Fried Chicken for
the wind Raising Canes. There's a Raising Canes now in Barstow that I don't remember being there.
What.
Yeah, there's a Raising Canes right off the freeway right there. Yeah. Great, went in there, had some chicken, got back on the road, drive through Baker drive through. My favorite point on the trip is right after Baker Zyazik's road love that it's a great stop. So make make our way and I'm trying to beat the clock, but I'm trying to get my wife to beat the clock because I want to get some bets in. But the timing of it, we stopped a couple of times. The game start at four
o'clock California time. The East Coast games that are seven o'clock start at four o'clock, so we was trying to get there by four o'clock. And I got the prim and very depressing dad, because I love that mall. I think that was more. I mean, it is massive mall out in the middle of nowhere, right next to Well. It was across from Buffalo Bills Is on one side. You got Whiskey Peetez across the freeway, and there was a third hotel and the third hotel had a sports
book in it. It was connected to the mall, so you stay at that hotel. Then you can walk through the mall and do some shopping. And the mall, I think there's like two stores open. It's a ghost mall.
Oh, it's so sad. We've talked about that mall before.
Yeah, yeah, it's just every time I go out there, it's like, this is crazy, like this, I don't remember anything like this happening in my life. Where somewhere I used to go and enjoy and had great memories, and it's now pretty much gone. It's like barely there. The whole point of the stop was to go to the sports book. Well, I went to the hotel where the sports book was. The hotel's not there anymore. It's still there, but it's closed. They closed the hotel. Prim Valley Resorts
is what it was called, not there anymore. So then there's a sign saying, well, there's a sports book at Buffalo Bills. So I'm like, all right, Buffalo Bills is across the parking lots. So I'll get in the our drive across the parking lot to Buffalo Bills. I'll go into Buffalo Bills. I'll find the sports book. I'll put a bet down, no problem. But in the hull of Balloo to go from the Prim Valley Resorts to Buffalo Bills, I ended up missing my window because I walked into
the sports book. I did make it in the sports book five minutes before I needed to put my bet in. There was a line of people at the window and the guy that was taking the bets, the guy right in the tickets at the gambling window, was about as slow as you can possibly be. He was in no hurry, and I don't know if I should feel bad for the guy or punch the guy, but he was really as slow as could be, and it was very, very upsetting.
So that pissed me off. So then I got back in the car with the wife and we motored on back in the Malamobile to Vegas. Arrived in Old Vegas, Downtown Vegas, free Mont Street Circa. My wife had booked the room at Circa, and she knew that they have the top sports book in Vegas by most discerning customers. It's my favorite sports book that I've been It's crazy, it's insane in there. So I walked in and I told my wife. I said, listen, I don't like to
spend a lot of money on hotel. If I went by myself, i'd stay at like the Palace Station or Circus Circus because they're like, you know, fifty bucks a night or something like that. But but she's like, she she's oppoue. She likes to spend a lot of money on hotel. But she told me, listen, we're only going for like one night. It's just going to be not that expensive.
No one.
So some of you have seen this. I did post a video on Instagram last weekend and it showed the room that we stayed in, and we ended up in the Penthouse at the Circa Hotel and Casino there in Vegas. And immediately, of course, people sent me messages, Danny. They're like claiming that this was some kind of TV thing because I'm doing the TV show now with NBC and there's like they hooked me up because of that. Not true.
People were saying, well, it must be the radios know that that thing that I got, the sweetheart deal and all that. So now entering the chat, the ghost of Paul Harvey, Good Day Radio legend, so you know, as he used to say, you know what the news is, Danny, But in a minute, you're going to hear the rest of the story. And that's where we play commercials.
Right here, the news headline is Ben Mallard would never spend more than eighty nine to ninety nine on a hotel room.
Oh god, no, no, absolutely not. The whole point of traveling is not to be in the hotel, and the point of traveling is to go out and do things, So it doesn't really matter where you stay. It's about what you're doing, the experiences. The kids say these days, right Dan, It's all about the experience.
Unless you're concerned about bed bugs.
Well that's part of it. So anyway, so all right, we end up in the penance. So now for the rest of the story. Got this amazing situation. And I want you to know right now, hand to guy, Okay, hand to guy, this had zero to do with the TV show. It had nothing to do with the radio show. It certainly had nothing to do with the podcast. When we got to Circuit. Here's what happened. I'm gonna give you the inside. So nobody else has this content, Danny, not a single person. That's what I'm about to say.
It's never been told before. What I'm about to say is a global exclusion.
And Marcel tweeked this out immediately.
Is going to break the internet. It is going to break the podcast where we're going to set a record for downloads, most downloads since Hector was a pupp It is going to be amazing. So here's what happened. We go to Cirque, been on the road all day driving. I have had two hours of sleep in the last forty eight hours. I'm a wreck, right, I'm a wreck. So we go into the hotel. Of course, my wife wants to Valet Park. I'm already in a bad mood
there because I hate Valet parking. Ah, you know how I feel about Valet parking, Dan, I do not like Valet parking. It's running a marathon for twenty six miles and then with zero point two miles to go, handing the baton off to somebody else to finish the race just pisses me off. But she likes the Valet parks. Wee Valet park find whatever. That's compromise, you know, when you're married, Danny, I have to do that. I get I'm told, So we did it. I let her Valet
Park whatever. So we get to the hotel. I go immediately. I make a bee line to the sports book because I want to put some bets in. I didn't get over in prim on the border. I didn't get my bets, so there were some other games starting. I want to get my bets. So I go to the sports book. My wife goes to the front desk to check in, and we're going to meet. After you know, she checks INU we'll go back. So she checks in and we
meet right near the top of the sports book. If you've been to the circuit, it's a sunken sports book, really cool. It's got stadium style seating and TVs everywhere. It's wild and one side Brent Mussburger's TV channel. They have studios there so they do shows that anyway, So she checks in, we meet up and she says, uh, I think they gave us an upgrade. And no, no, it was not just an upgrade. No, no, no, no, It's like holy Canoli. This was insane to the membrane.
It had again, nothing to do with the TV show, radio show, of the podcast. I wasn't even there when my wife checked in. I don't know what was said. I don't know what happened. Maybe it was just the charm.
Did they recognize the last name?
I have no idea. I wasn't even there. All I know is she handed me the key to the hotel. She said, that's on the It's on the fifty third floor and it was like the presidential Suite or something. I don't even know what the hell it was, but it had views of the skyline. I felt like I was like Snoop Dog or something. It was full bar, kitchen, living room, master bedroom, huge bathroom. I have lived in
multiple apartments before I moved to the Malor Mansions. None of those apartments, none of the houses I've lived in, have been as nice as this apartment was. Insane and it was a blessing and a curse. It was a double edged sword, though, Danny, because it was such a good room, I didn't want to leave it. I was like, I'm only here for one night. This is VIP status. This is like thousands of dollars for this room to stay.
This is the situation where you bring the hookers in cocaine to the room.
You call out for Yeah, can I have those delivered? Yeah? I know there's uber eats, is there is there a drug he eats and co you know, and stripper eats and I don't know. A bunch of hookers and cocaine. Place was just amazing. I'll likely never be in that room ever again, or a room like that ever again. The next closest hotel I ever stayed at that was as nice as that was. We did a This was actually for the radio show. We did some radio shows
from the Aria when they opened up. The Aria just after that the hotel casino there and on the strip, and they gave us the sky suites, which was amazing at the Aria and that was that was wonderful. So anyway to channel another dead sportscaster or newscaster, Walter Cronkite. And that's the way it is as far as the the hotel room. So that's the story I did. I didn't really want to post the video. My wife's like, you should post it. Maybe they'll give us the room
every time. I'm like, I was so weird about that kind of stuff. But whatever, I did it. So there you go. We have a Mallor Melody.
Danny.
We have a mallor Melody. How exciting is that? I don't try to hold your excitement, Danny. Try We go down to Dateline in Virginia. Headline from Richmond, Virginia. Joe in the r VA a big fan of the show and he has submitted to the Fifth Hour podcast the malor Militia song and it's a fast paced number. He said. It is set to the tune of r e MS. It's the end of the world as we know it, and it's a it's a parody tune, and he would like it to debut here on the fifth hour. So
this is Danny. I feel kind of like the iconic the DJ that we I think you knew this guy when he worked at a premiere Casey Casey back in the legendary case him and his daughter.
Every time I do a gift dedication.
Yeah, I mean just just wonderful, just absolutely wonderful. Casey works. He's dead now, but he worked for a number of years in the early days when I was at Fox Sports.
Rade amazing sexy. Casey was all right too.
A lovely lady and my apologies to her, Yeah she was. She was easy on the ice anyway. So I will play the song here, this is this is exciting.
I want to play the whole thing, though, do you.
Well, yeah, we can. We can play the whole.
I don't know if you want the whole thing.
I mean, God bless his soul, but I don't know if you want the whole song on.
Oh, this is joe in the RBA. Here, this is our guy, Joey.
That was great, But I don't know if you want the whole song though.
All right, well we can play how about we play a chunk of it?
All right, We'll play a verse.
So I'm gonna I'm gonna pretend like I'm Casey Casem. How many dead people can I reference on this show. I've already done so far. Three. I've got Paul Harvey, Walter Cronkite, now Casey Casem. Three dead people in a podcast. All right, So here's here's what Casey would say.
You're gonna punch the big play button like George Michael's sports machine.
There's another dead sports caster. There we go.
All right, here we go, uh, and it's time for Dodger baseball. There we go another dead sports casser. All right, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars. Here's Joe in Richmond, Virginia with a parody song of rims. It's the end of the world as we know it. The mal or militia song.
Can't keep up our eight in the negative numbers picture so fast they melt up folk, both of your contract in the strat his fear. Suddenly you find out a being jumps for a rookie out of double lake. I asked the guy why he played me a podcast where I learned I've been named in up in mail her monologue, I've been shaming up in mal her monologue, I'm ingraining
up and mailer monologue, and I feel it. I'm the NFL's greatest football player Pro Bowlsoer Bowl and the NBP headed to the Hall of Fame, featured on Madden with the strongest stats of Andy Guy. Suddenly things started going in down. I was traded to the Cleveland Brows. I has to go try, but he wouldn't say so. I turned on the radio and heard the news. That's worse than being on the cover up, he asked.
And wow, wow, thank you, Joe. That is that's that's intense. That's a lot of work.
Number one with a bullet.
Well, I liked. I love the effort. To me, I'm an effort guy. I'm an effort guy. I like the effort. So you know, you can rip it if you want. But I like that.
Oh no, no, nobody's ripping.
Sure about that. No, it was cool. Thank you, Joe. I do appreciate it, and we'll have to work that into the regular radio show. I know you you sent that special for the podcast. I'm sure the boys Eddie and Coop and Iowa Sam will appreciate that, unless unless they don't.
I am sure, Iowa Sam will play a third of what we just played, so expect to hear eight seconds of that on your live radio show.
You think he'll gong the song? You think you'll I don't know.
He's got an eclectic music taste.
Iowa Sam does, so he might be doing like a white man wedding recital dance to it for all we know.
Yeah, it blows me away. How many people get annoyed because Iowa Sam, As you said, he's got an eclectic taste in music, much different than Roberto's taste in music. And I've gotten on my soapbox and I have delivered sermons over the years from microphones. I just don't understand if you're listening to spoken word radio, how passionate eight percentage?
And I don't know what percentage it is, Nanny, I don't know if it's one percent or fifty percent or seventy five percent, But there's percentage of people that are so affected by the bumper music. I mean, yeah, and you're a big music guy, were you're an old DJ, so I yes, your world. But to me, the people
that listen that are like really offended. Because I was getting complaints because Iowa Sam doesn't play a lot of rap music, so then I played I told Iowa Sam, So then of course he got defensive and started playing more rap music. But it was like kind of weird rap music.
Yeah, Iowa Sam doesn't know anything about rap music, so that's where your producer would need to come in and help.
But unfortunately Justin Cooper.
Doesn't know a lot about rap music either, so you're a little bit of a weird position with.
That, Like that's not really his thing.
I think Iowa Sam's strength is playing funny drops music. Yeah, I don't know, but like you said, Ben, for you for your show, you have enough fun content, but on other shows kind of like a full package where that really good music ties everything together.
No, I got it, And I don't. People think I hate music. I don't. I listen to music. I listened to classical music when I'm getting ready for work because it calms me down, it keeps me focused. Allegedly, I don't even know if that's true. So I like the kind of music that Inca Terror provides. I'm a fan of that. But then when I'm driving around, I try not to consume too much sports radio because I don't want to repeat what other people do. I want my
original shtick, and if I listen to other people. We've been through this as well, Danny. We've talked about this many times. For me, I sometimes, even unintentionally, if I listen to Covino and Rich, I'll hear some funny thing that those guys are you you were doing, and I'll be like, I won't even think that I'm going to repeat it, But then in the back of my head I'll end up doing something similar or And I don't want to no disrespect to anybody. I just don't want
to do that. I want to do my own stuff, Like if I go down in flames, I want to be the one point gasoline on the microphone.
Right, well, you do a pretty good job of that, thank you.
This is true. Right you have never purchased a song on iTunes before?
Well, but not by choice. My lovely one wife, who you know very well, she did make me years ago. I love Johnny Cash. So I did purchase a bunch of Johnny Cash, old Johnny Cash songs. Okay, yeah, so like classics like the Top you know Everywhere man, that kind of stuff, you know, the ring of Fire, all those things. I mean I have pretty much every stuff I don't even like from Johnny.
Cay And I think you guys could kind of turn it into a bit where maybe once an hour he plays a request from a listener.
Yeah, I was saying about that. I think we could have people email in, you know, songs.
I mean, he can't be too snarky about what people want.
You got to give people what they want.
Yeah. The customers is always bite until they want you to get canceled and they're not right anymore. And that's how we work. We have the word of the week. Are you ready for the word of the week?
Is this a word or a phrase?
A phrase of the week? Fred phrase of the week? All right? It is a phrase that is perfect for this show, for this show, and for what we do for a living, our path in this crazy world. The phrase is hot air. Hot air is the phrase of the week. It's an idiom hot air. It actually did not originate from a gazillion years now, gazillion years ago.
I would assume that hot air has been around since the beginning of air, right, I would assume that, like when there were Neanderthals walking around the earth and cave men and women that they they had hot air. But the term, the term as we use it today, originated around the eighteen fifties. It popped into what was considered then the modern lexicon on this thing called a novel The Gilded Age, a novel by someone named Mark Twain, kind of a big of My dad loved Mark Twain
and Charles Dudley Warner. Now that book was published in eighteen seventy three, so there worn't originated like in the eighteen fifties. But it wasn't until eighteen seventy three in The Gilded Age that the term hot air was written by Twain. They wrote that the Arius schemes inflated the
capitals the capital's hot air. And that is one of the reasons that many politicians, they used the phrase hot air in terms of talking about politicians that obviously it refers to someone who is very verbose, does not believe in brevity. They talk NonStop, people that breathe out hot air. Kind obvious on that. And the other way to look at it would be like a hot air balloon that the fire in the middle of the basket below the balloon heats the air inside the balloon, causing it to
expand and it's simple science. The air is lighter the air surrounding it, and then the air surrounding it in the end, so the balloon inflates and rises and all that.
So the so is gas bag a spinoff?
Well that's not this week's word of the week, but if you want it to be next week's ward of the week, we can make it next week's word of the week.
But yes, I was inspired by this gas baggery.
It makes sense that that would be inspired by that, but I'd have to I think I have used gas baggery as the phrase. I haven't done that in a long time though, So anyway, Friends of the Week, Hot Air. It is Friday, Danny. I've got the TV show today, obviously this podcast, which you've already listened to. God bless you. You're my favorite person, and you'd be my really favorite person if you watch the TV show, because I kind of want to another year of the TV show. So
nobody watches it. I think that's a bad sign. But what do I know? So I got that, I'll check your local What do you tell me to say, Danny, check your local TV listings?
Is that what you're supposed to set your local listings.
There you go. It's on all the NBC owned and operated networks and then a few other cable channels and if you have Direct TV or Fubo TV. If you're not in a market the show's on, you have access to it. So there are several ways you can get Benny versus the Penny And what are you up to today? What's on the agenda for Danny g Radio.
Gonna take a quick nap and then get up do the computer work pregame show for the Friday edition of Covino and Rich, Gonna have a lot of fun with the Power Parlay. And we always do weekend Hobnobby to let you know what's going on with the best sports and entertainment on TV for Saturday and Sunday, and that of course is the afternoon evening show from two to four pm on the West Side and five to seven pm in New York City.
Outstanding us have a great Friday, enjoy the twentieth day of the month of October here and we will have new podcasts all weekend long, all weekend long, so that means tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday, fresh audio content will catch you.
Then Austa pasta gotta murder i, gotta go.