The Fifth Hour: Big E, Big Timber, Big Rip Off

Kutbooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahller starts right now.

In the air eywhere The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g As we kick off a bran spake in new month, Happy March, as we flip the calendar a brand new month here of fun, and we are both celebrating a big day to day, Danny, as we like to look at goofy holidays. It's National Day of Unplugging today, which I don't think we're unplugging by doing this podcast, and anyone who is listening to this podcast is also not unplugging, so technically we're not celebrating National

And just oh, I thought it was getting the plunger and fixing your toilet.

Well, you can do that also if you want, if you want to eat a really hearty meal and just clog up your toilet, you can do that.

But it is.

Technically a day to get off all those annoying devices with you know, your iPhone or whatever, you know electric device you're using when you're not.

You don't have an iPhone, you have an Android, whatever you might have.

So it's a global day of unplugging, which is not is not honored at all. Dan, how many days a year do you actually unplug from electronic devices?

Probably one week when you're on vacation and you try your beat to do that. Yeah, you gotta have maybe your phone on if you have kids, but other than that, it's just that one week of vacation and you a funny way to celebrate this, stay Ben, you should get on all your platforms on social media and every hour tweet about how you're unplugging.

Yes, I am honoring National Day of Unplugging.

I just want you to know that I am not on these devices.

Even though it looks like I'm on these devices, I am not on these devices at all. It just appears that way. But that is actually not what's going on at all.

So nice to unplug today dot dot dot and then bring up a topic and keep tweeting about it.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I also saw.

And the only reason I bring this one up is because there's a guy that calls the show randomly from Arkansas who has this as his nickname, although he's got

And we're still waiting.

We're still waiting for those and used to be called to scratch off and then you got hear a lot of nicknames. Oh, by the way, I should also probably mention before we get too far into this podcast. You probably know by now if you're listening to the original Recipe podcast, the Ben Mallor Show podcast, Not at My Watchtower, Danny last night or this morning, depending how you look

Yeah, because podcast it's us waking up at five am for your live show.

You have to be awake at ten pm.

Yes, the never ending, never ending life of bloviation, full bloviation. So I wanted to start here on the Friday Pod. As we get into a new month and we'll have regular season baseball, huh, We're gonna have Talking Bays ball. These exhibition games, which are fine. I'm not against exhibition games, but I'm not you know. I'll tune in for like a couple of innings, but I'm not really sitting there

I know it must have put a smile on your face, though. When Otani hit that bomb in his first Dodger preseason game, it.

Was pretty good.

Now he's only got to hit seven one hundred home runs and then one million dollars for each home run.

Is that how it works?

Is that the math on that is seven hundred and then well he got seven hundred million. But it's all deferred, right, most of it's deferred. I'm not a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up. You think Otani moved or do you think he still lives? He lived in Orange County. When he's playing for the Angels, you think he moved to La or he probably not.

He's in Arizona right now, but I wonder.

When he gets back to southern California. I heard that he hired Kobe's backup pilot.

Oh good luck.

To make he rest in peace?

You know you should take is just have him like fire him out of a cannon and they can fire him over the traffic and then it's like, yeah, the old circus back and he can land at Dodger State or get a catapult, oh like like super Dave, Yeah, yeah, super Dave Osmorne, the late great Super Dave Osmonn. But Otani could also just get a catapult like the olden.

Days and they could.

Just launch him over the five Freeway, the ninety one, the fifty seven, the one oh one, all that and just land right there at the pitching mountain. With the technology they have today, Danny, that's an easy move. That's an easy But I did enjoy watching Otani hit the home run, and I like how everyone obsessed over it. You know, that's always my I get a kick out of it. It's like the biggest thing of the world. It's gonna be like that for a while though. With Otanio,

Yeah, and Super Dave was underrated by the way.

Oh yeah, he was great. And right up until the end on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Ah yeah, he was a great character on that show.

He was.

He was absolutely great. So interesting week this week, obviously not on the radio overnight here into Friday, but at the Mothership. So it started out with a bang, let's take you back in the hot tub time machine. We're gonna go back to the beginning of the week. So My week starts on Sunday night into Monday morning. We do the podcast on Sunday and then I do whatever I do during the day, and then at Sunday night I come back into the radio station. So Sunday night

In the summer. Not sure what that's about. The Other thing on the weekends in there's the South any.

Bey there it's just a bones type crew there, just sculling bones, not much going on. So I go in there, and I have to walk down the hall, around the around the corner to prep in the back update studio because the main studio we used to use is a construction zone.

So I'm not allowed in there.

The big yellow tape not allowed in it, so I don't go. I honor the yellow tape that says don't go in, so I don't go in. So I go to the one room I can sit in way in the back, near the vending machine, which is the loudest vending machine in the history of vending machines. I think when they installed the vending machine, they said, can we get the loudest possible vending machine we can get, and then can we go even louder? And they've got that.

Soda drops. It sounds like a bomb.

Oh yeah, it's like the neutron bomb is dropping.

So it's about fifteen minutes or so, ten or fifteen minutes until my time to take over. The microphone owns a Fox Sports tradio. The button has passed me, so I flip on the programming in the studio and I hear Arnie Spanier, but I don't hear Chris plain. Now, Arnie is my lead in on Sunday Night and the Monday Arnie Spanier and Chris Plank can.

They do a great job.

And so I'm used to hearing them, and I hear a few minutes of their show usually on Sunday Night. So I heard Arnie and then I heard someone. I didn't regularly recognize the voice, and Arnie didn't reset and say who it was. The person didn't say their names. I had no idea who it was.

I was just listening, and you know, I knew it was a former athlete. I knew that, but I didn't really know who it was.

And so I'm like whatever, And so I walked over to the to the air studio. I walked by the vending machine, down the hall, make a right, go down the hall, and then make another right. Then I go down a little hall, make a left, and then I'm in this little area where there's the main studio, and then the engineer and the producer sit in the other room. So I go there and I look at the on

And I open the door and I walk in and.

Much to my shock, just like the time I walked in on my mom going pe.

Yeah, very similar.

So I walked in and staring back at me in the darkness is Ephraim Salaam from my boy from from the the Broncos lineman from back in the day, who was sitting.

Oh oh no, and he worried member of the COVID team.

Oh easy. I did not know that. I I don't think i've met him.

So I I did the Homer Simpson meme Danny, where I quickly turned around. Uh, I was like, you gotta be joking. I'm like, who's like, I sit in a dark studio. I liked the studio with the lights turned down.

I like the mood.

I've never seen anyone work with all the lights completely off.

Yeah.

Anything.

And it's not like he has pale skin like Brian Finley.

Well, I'm not saying that.

I just I just assumed because I looked at the lights in the studio and there were none on.

I said, well, there's no way there's anyone in there.

So I was like, here's my time, and man, it was a turnout the lights the parties over.

So yeah, did his eyes get really big when he saw you?

Yeah, he looked at me and he gave me like what the f are you doing here? Kind of looking I and I gave him the same look I gave him somebody.

I was like, wait a minute, what are you doing here?

I used to do some weekend shows with e from So I produced he from every Saturday, and he's a no nonsense guy Ben and he always would come in with gloves, a face mask, a mask, COVID mask.

Over his face.

Oh boy, that's a regular mask.

But also he used to do a show with your boy Brian Know, and he loved that. Brian Know was always remote because he would have the studio to himself when he would come in, the show would leave and he would spray lysol for about five minutes. He'd spend ten minutes cleaning everything down, even though he was looking

You ain't coming into the studio.

Oh man, I'm trying to block out that two and a half years of my life, daddy, where everyone was it was the apocalypse.

My god.

I still I've been going to the gym. We talked about this in a previous episode of the podcast. I've been going to the gym during the day now. I used to always go after the show, and I'd go in the morning and there was no one there and it was a bunch of old people.

So I go during the day. There's like younger people whatever. I guess. No one works during the day.

Maybe they all do overnight radio shows like I do, and so they're available to go to the gym in the middle of the day. And so I've been going during the day, but I still see a good number of people that are completely invested in like they think it's like July of twenty twenty, which is you know what you know gets you through life.

But it's just odd. It's just still it's still odd.

To me to see that, especially with all the the data pointing one direction, not the not the other way. That was my run in with literally a collig and it was very nice. He did have a Bronco like Jack and on, so he was still repping the Broncos stuff.

Yeah, he said that he loved his time in Denver, even though he wasn't there for very long. He spent most of his career playing for the Texans.

Okay, yeah, yeah, but he had he definitely had Bronco Bronco merch.

Yeah, for sure.

He was a Bronco homer on the air.

There you go.

Well, I you know, Coop likes the Broncos. He didn't talk about m much of these days because they suck, but if they're good, he'll be back.

And the Raiders have beat you eight games in a row.

I don't think Coop played for the Broncos though. I don't think I mean, I'm not sure. Maybe maybe he was like the backup kicker punter or something like that back in the day.

Cool gosh, not sure.

So I did want to send a We don't do shout outs on the radio show, but this is the podcast, and this is not really a shout out. But Coach Mack, the Coach Mack attack. Who Coach Mack. You don't know Coach Mack. Never heard of him?

Oh man, it's a bad job by you.

So from Big Timber, Big Timber, Montana. Coach Mack is a p one. He used to live in southern California and he was a regular loyal minion, a p one in the mal Or militia, and Coach Mack ended up moving to Big Timber, Montana.

Wait wait, I do remember this dude from back in the day.

Yeah. Yeah, he used to call the show and he's a big fan. He wanted to get out of California for because it's California. There's a lot of crazy things going on in California he didn't agree with and so he knew.

He couldn't change him. So he's like, I'm going to get out of here.

And he's a coach and he ended up in Montana, in Big Timber, Montana, and he is a coach at sweet Grass County High School in Big Timber of Montana, and he is a big fan of the show and on this high school goes back to nineteen o five. Imagine what Montana must have been like in nineteen oh five.

Can only imagine.

But the reason I bring this up is because coach Max said, Hey, I like you guys. I want you to I want you to know kind of support my school and stuff. He's a coach there, and he sent us a gift box filled with hats from the high school. Now, normally I'd be like, Okay, it's a high school, why would I wear that? But this is one of the coolest, the coolest logos in an age where in my lifetime we've had the Washington Bullets name canceled because that was

Is it all gone now? Maybe it is. I don't know. They've gotten rid of the Redskins name, the Cleveland Indians name. You know, this fixes the world one nickname at a time.

So the Montana High School, Big the sweet Grass County High School. Their mascot is just tremendous. It's just absolutely.

Tremendo Let me see if I can send this. I don't know if you've seen.

It, Danny.

I I posted some.

Photos the other day, But their mascot, I believe they're the Sheepherders.

They're the Sheepherders, and their mascot.

Danny is an old guy with a beard and an old Montana Western hat smoking a pipe is the mascot. And it's like, if you did that in California, seven people would be fired and they'd bring in therapist for the students to look at. I sent you a copy of it on.

Your Oh nice, yeah, yeah, it looks like an old gold miner smoking.

Yeah. Yeah, it's an old guy smoking a pipe.

You know.

Just that's that's wrong on so many levels, Danny, that that mascot is wrong just about every way you can slice a maskcot. So anyway, he was very kind, Coach Mack, and he he sent us a gift pack of hats, and then he wanted me to give some to Petrols some money. But I see Petros maybe once or twice a year. Maybe it's very random. Sometimes it'll be a Dodger game. Sometimes I'll fill in. Usually once or twice a year, I fill in for a guy named Fred

We saw Petros at the racetrack.

Yeah, we saw that's right.

I caught up. I big a hog. You know, every time I see Petros, we flashed back. We known each other for a long time. I've known him since he played at USC, so we've known each other a long time before he got in the media.

And I love Petrols and it's always great.

And we're very similar, like we're around the same age, me and Petros.

We kind of look at sports similar.

We like sports, but you know we're we like the different perspective on things.

Then, yeah, you both love to bachel lebron and you both can suck the joy out of Disneyland.

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.

I have no idea, but so that's my relationship with Petros. So I have some hats. I have a few extra hats from Coach Mac and I plan on My intention is to leave them in the car and then at some point I'll run into Petros and hopefully I'll be in that car and then I'll say, hey, Petros, here you go ta Da and I'll give the spets. But we don't broadcast from the same building. People don't know that. Who are coach Mac? I just didn't know that. And

The week, the word of the week. And this is by request.

And I do like that the minions and the Mala militia are contacting me.

Four words of the week.

And this request coming from Pierre and he says here here this is what I wrote, he said, and he wants to hear.

This as the word of the week. And what is this announced? What this is? I will announce what this is the word of the week.

Is kerfluffle A fun word? Kerfluffle? Right, fun word kerfluffle. I do use this word at least once or twice a week in one form or another. Usually in a mall of monologue. I will mix in the word kerfluffle. So what the hell does the word kerfluffle me? Kerfluffle is a state of being disordered or ruffled, hence agitation and perturbation.

That's a big word, the word. Now, my right hand was getting a workout out, David. That was one of the greatest commercials in the history of commercials.

Okay, let me tell you something. Those people that sleep numbers should still send me checks. Okay for those commercials that I did for those sleep number beds back in the day.

I digress.

So this word, now, we goes way back. If you want to go way, way, way, way way back, it goes to the fifteen hundreds. But in eighteen thirteen, according to those that keep track of such things, the word kerfluffle was actually spelled with a C. Now it's spelled with a K, and it was first attested to Scottish writers.

It's a Scottish word.

And it comes from the verb meaning to disorder, dishevel that's said to be from the fifteen eighties, so we're going way back to the fifteen eighties. And the origin though, is rather obscure. They think it came from another Scottish word fuffle, that kerf fluffle. They just added the curve onto fluffle and boom, you got a word. You can just add that on top and put a little spice on there, and you've got the word a fuffle, a fluffle or kerf fluffle next it.

So and that means to throw into disorder.

That comes out all the way from the fifteen thirties, but as normally happens, over time the term has been sharpened and broadened and evolved, and it also involved military. There's some military usage involved in this. But the word is a kerfluffle. It's the word of the week, a state of being disordered or ruffled. The modern usage of this word dates back to the nineteen hundreds nineteen hundreds

It was crazy.

I'm not a fish I'm not, but I do admire oddities of the ocean. There's so much of the ocean that we have no idea what's there. And if you knew what was there, your head would probably explode thinking about it.

But these these odd.

Ball fishing stories are pretty wild. And this guy in Guatemala happy to catch a white sailfish. The odds of this are insane to the member, and he was. The guy was on a luxury fishing boat while he did it. The billfish unicorn as it is called, one in a million. It is an albino sailfish.

Racist, I claim.

And I'm not like, I'm not known. I don't know everything about fish. Obviously, I'm an amateur when it comes to that. But even as an amateur, this is this like ridiculous. Now, do you think the other fish goof on that fish? Do you think they're like fish bullies out there? And well, wait a minute, you don't look like us, so like what's going on with you? Or you think they don't give a crap and they're like like whatever, it is a good looking fish, Like it's a it is a good looking fish.

I'll give you that. So I don't know know how that works.

But there you go, so a fishtail and you like, you're a fisherman though, Danny, you've told us that you like to go fishing and that's your thing, right.

Yeah, I mean I do that fishing derby at Bass Lake where they have all those money tags on different fish. If you catch a bass that has the ten thousand dollars marker on it, then you know you're set for the rest of the fishing season. But we've never even reeled one end during that derby. We are convinced that there are paid actors there on the lake showing you

And that does have We've we've talked about stories like that over the years. I think there was a big scandal in the whole was it Ohio? Yep, you guys were like weighing down fish and winning contests and doing weird prap to to win contests.

All right, we'll get out on that. We got another pod. Uh, well tomorrow as we hit.

Yeah, yeah, and I hope we have time for foody fun tomorrow. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on how Wendy's is testing out their new digital menus for surge prices. The devil are you talking about? Oh man, you're yeah, you're gonna hate to see this. Ben talk about greed.

Yeah, that's that is a no bueno no Wendy's. Oh you have one price and that's the price. You don't This is what do you think you're uber?

Come on, what's wrong with you?

You'd like the you like the airlines, So that means you're gonna lower the prices at two in the morning when they're there's no one there.

Not to jump ahead to tomorrow's podcast. But the shitty part is it's not like you're going to get a discount during the off hours where they don't have a lot of traffic, it'll just be regular prices, but it'll surge like Lyft and Uber. When it's a busy time for the restaurant, the prices will go way up.

Yeah, I'm good because I will guarantee you wherever there is a Windy's, there is another fast food restaurant which is either as good or maybe even better, right next door or a block away.

So we'll get out you, Dan. I assume you've got Covino and Rich today, Is that correct? Or Am I wrong on that?

Gonna be a fun Friday before our show has a week off, so we're going to make today count all right.

Very cool, got the VAK coming up, and I was off last night, but we obviously here for the podcast and I'll have a regional podcasts all weekend long. Have a wonderful rest of your Friday, and we will talk to you tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Asta pasta got a murder. I gotta go