Kabooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a sol fastion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the.
Air everywhere, and a very good Friday, as Rick and Maryland would say, morning time on the Fifth Hour with me, Big Ben and Danny g Radio, who is away on assignment.
As we have slid into the ninth day of August. Congratulations. If you're a fan of books, today's a big day. It's National book Lover's Day. There are some people that would much rather hold than old dust s muskie book then get online and read on their tablet. And my mom was like that. She loved books. Now she did eventually start reading on the tablet, but the book was the way to go for Mamu back in the day.
But we were hanging out with you say brand new weekend.
You know that when the extra crutchy, extra spicy Fifth Hour comes up.
And we're doing this very early. That's one of the reasons.
Danny is not here and I'm doing this from the East Coast this morning.
It is early, early in the morning, way too early to be awake as someone who is used to the West Coast time zone and all that. But I don't know. It's just a giant ball here, just a giant ball.
I'll explain why I'm doing the podcast I'm here and how that might relate to you coming up in a little bit, but we must before we get into all of that, we must start back. Last Saturday, the third day of August, Tom Brady's birthday. We celebrated Tom Brady's birthday by all uniting is Won hanging out in Lost Wages, Nevada. The first ever official official Malor meet and greet in Sin City as we all united to form Voltron. It
happened at the Steakeout Bar and Grill. We talked a lot about it in the lead up to this podcast. I want to thank you for putting up with all of that, and we were there. It was It was a wonderful weekend. This is the official post game show on the twenty twenty four Malor meet and greet. As we had quite the crowd. We didn't know who was going to show up. A lot of people had said
they were going to be there. People had sent me the emails said Hey, I'm going to fly in from so and so and Tim Buck too and Walla Walla, Washington and all these other places. But ultimately most of the people that said they were going to show up, you know who you are who reached out to me, you did, and so thank you. A tip of the headphones to you. I appreciate it, appreciated, appreciate. We put a bunch of photos up. Hopefully you saw those. I posted a few on Sunday. I did not have as
many photos as I should have had. I was taking a lot of pictures or whatever and hang out with people fans of the show, but I wasn't like taking photos with everyone. Bad job by me. But we had a great time. Vegas was it was very cool. I think it was one hundred and ninety degrees the days we were there. I got in on Friday driving from LA and we had a carpool situation through the desert.
The hottest point actually on the way to Vegas was in Baker California, which is the appropriately named town where it literally bakes. But got up early, did not get a lot of sleep, just got in the car and took off. Because the way this works, if you're not familiar, if you're not in the area, to drive from La to Vegas, it's like a suber right.
People do it all the time.
There's a bunch of little desert towns out in California and in Nevada before you get to Vegas. The problem is most people drive to Vegas. They don't fly there. It's easier to drive. You have your car, although it's more expensive now because you've got paper parking all over Vegas. Because the mob that used to run Vegas would give free parking and free meals.
They're not as generous anymore. So.
Nonetheless, you'd rather have your car and be able to go where you want and all that stuff.
Most people choose to do that.
But if you don't get out before a certain hour, if you don't get out of the La metropolitan area before a certain hour, it is a nightmare.
Now.
Fortunately there were no trucks that tipped over with lithium batteries in Barstow, which is about the midway point to Vegas, as we did have that happen the week prior. We talked about that a little bit on this podcast, that there was an accident. I think we mentioned our old radio friend Fox Sports Radio alumni member JT. The Brick had some issues out there because the highway was completely closed and so a bunch of people were staying at hotels in the middle of the desert. So we didn't
have any of that, and it was rather smooth. There was one patch of traffic which was in the Victorville area in the California desert out there, but we dodged that wasn't too bad, got in at a reasonable hour into Vegas, and I did not stay at a hotel this trip, did not no hotels, no resort fees of a friend that lives in Henderson, which is a suburb of Vegas, and we were able to stay at his sister's place. She was out of town for work, so
we stayed there and had a great time. It was a little warm, everywhere, a little hot, but we had a great time. We made it work and went out to my wife was with me and went to the favorite in place we have in Vegas. Had some fetichini, alfredo, a little chicken palm, and we're just living, living the life. We actually went to a tiki bar again. The wife wanted to go to a tiki bar, so we went
to a tiki bar and got the drink on. And when you go to a tiki bar in Vegas, it's quite the experience there because you get out of the sun.
It is boiling hot. It's like one hundred and eleven.
And then you go inside to complete in total darkness, and it takes about ten minutes. It takes about ten minutes for your eyes to adjust. It is it is agony, is what it is until your eyes ad just you. You're walking around, futzing around on my phone out with my light on my phone, trying to see where there's
a step and all that and hanging out. And then I got I was getting messages from random people, Hey there's a there's a no not going on with I ain't playing unless I get mine brawl that whole dope. So then I flipped that on my phone and I'm sitting in a tiki bar in Vegas drinking cocktails and then we're watching the Giants Reds game on the TV. Now of course, I was hoping that the Reds would get a hit, but that did not happen, and so the evil Higant's Blake Snell got a no hitter on
that Friday. But whatever, I didn't care. I didn't have to do a monolog. We did talk about it a little bit, if you remember.
The Sunday into Monday.
I brought the story back because it still had some legs for our show. And this has been such a storyline that we followed along, and so I bring it up. So I did that, and then on Saturday it was go time.
It was go time. On Saturday. It was the day of the Malla Meet and greet, so got up.
Actually had to get an oil change for the Malamobile going through the desert, up the hills and down the hills and all that going into Nevada, and so the oil light came on. We went out and got the oil change. Very exciting to sit in your car and get the oil change.
There. We did not have the proper tools to change the oil.
So we got changed and sit outside on a nice one hundred and two degree day, actually was hotter than that, but that.
Time of the morning we went out in the morning, it's pretty hot.
Went to a great barbecue place, the Mallard Travel Lodge, in effect, went to enjoy some fabulous, fabulous barbecue, having an amazing time enjoying the heck out of ourselves at this is over at Henderson Big Be's Texas Barbecue.
And this is now back to back weeks.
I mentioned last week on the podcast Atdie Casino in southern California, Yamava had amazing barbecue. Well this was next level. Also brisket chef's kiss amazing. Now it could be that I've just been fasting a lot lately and that's part of the issue, right, could be I just I was fasting tons and tons and that led into what happened. But either way, amazing culinary delight there. I will be
back at that particular establishment. And then I went back, got ready for the Malor meet and greet, and there.
Was a little travel.
I showed up a few minutes after, but Eddie had texted me said hey, we're all upstairs. So I went to the Stakeout Bar and Grill as advertised on Maryland Parkway, just across from UNLV. There's actually a raising Caynes off to the side. There I did not know that when we booked the event. I did not book it. I did want to thank Slug. What a great guy. Slugs amazing host. He's the guy that did the legwork on this.
He put the venue together with the help of his friend who happened to be a fan of the show, and we had karaoke at this thing. We had a special menu. Hopefully you saw that on the social media for the Malor Meet and Greed and I was like, WHOA, I didn't know about that. Yeah, we had mallard chicken fingers.
You didn't see the menu. For those of you who are ap blind, we had the mallard.
Chicken fingers, very affordable, cheaper than you could get at any other restaurant. The Big Ben, a thirty two ounce beer, of course, gotta be the Big Ben. You had import domestic on that. Also the Koopa Loopa Tina. I don't even know what that was, but that was eight dollars. The Eddie Garcia Rita. See there's some rhyming going on here.
That was also eight dollars. The Loraina she got her own drink that was also eight and then Slug because he slugged, he had Slug juice, and we're not sure what that was, but it I think it was Jamison. I think as there's some chambers in that. But that was nine dollars. So those were the different items. They had, small menu, but awesome. They had the show logo on it and made me smile when I walked in there.
All right, I want my chicken.
It was great now to kind of paint the picture here. When I showed up, Yeah, there were a few people there, you know. I was just kind of getting started. And as the night progressed and we were there for a few hours, the place filled up. We had a lot of people with listeners that came in from Knoxville, Tennessee, since Cinnati the greater Cincinnati area. We had a contingent of callers from northern California. Had a gentleman fly in
from Denver, Dallas more on that coming up. We had a gentleman joke down with his wife from Reno, a bunch of people from La a lot of locals in Vegas that live in the suburbs or whatever, and they were coming out and hang out with us. But it was great to see everybody at a wonderful time. Surfer Todd the comedian was there with his wife, Surf for Todd had a giant trophy the size of the theater.
There that rounded theater there in Vegas.
It was a massive and that was for the Malord Paluza win as the joke writer of the Year and they had these wild outfits on and as you would expect, Surfer Todd the comedian putting on a show. So that was awesome. My man JT, the wingman, he flew in for the day, I guess the day before he flew in. We flew from Knoxville, Tennessee, and JT has the current record for most consecutive Mallor meet and greets, as he was at the one we did in Minnesota at the Mermaid.
He's from that area. He moved to Knoxville.
And then a few months back we had a hybrid Mallard meet and greet in Charleston and JT was there. He lives in Knoxville, so he just drove over for the day and hung out with us in all the great listeners below the Mason Dixon line in Charleston. So it was great to ce JT again. He's become a regular now and I guess wherever we go.
He's gonna be there. Right if we could have one of these in Abu Dabi and they'd be like, all right, I'll be there. And it was. It was great.
And then we had a guy flew in from from well, he flew in from Ohio, outside Cincinnati, and he was grumbling that the airport in Cincinnati is in Kentucky, the regional big airport there, which is of course.
We all know that. If anybody's flown into Cincinnati knows that.
And this is where the conversation would go back in the day when I flew into Cincinnati for you know, changing planes or whatever at the Cincinnati International Airport, which is technically in Kentucky, and we would go back and forth because that is to me, the point of where the South begins. So I would say, well, Cincinnati is a southern city. And then people from Cincinnati would spit Loogi's in my face and said, you don't know what you're talking about, You're a dope.
You're a loser, and all that.
But it was it was KGB was there from the Bay Area, who's who's a podcast listener now, and and he was hanging out and it was.
Good to see him.
We had I didn't write down everyone's name, and I'm really bad with names, so if I forget your name, I apologize. We had several theme shirts from fans of the show that had shirts made, which was great and just just loved it. It was flattered with a Malard Militia shirt. Now recket. Ralph was in the building, the great record Ralph. Remember Ralph Irvant retired? Now yeah, uh, And and Ralph with a guy that he went to school with, one of his buddies and his wife, big
fan of the show. They came down from Reno to hang out with us and have a day in Vegas, and and so that was. It was great. His buddy wore a Maland Militaire, which must have really annoyed Ralph. It must have really annoyed Ralph, like what is up with that? You know this is a moral enemy.
But Ralph was cool. It was great.
He loves Vegas. He showed me his pool. He's got a massive pool. He's doing well in life. The great Ralph Irvin who famously, if you remember, a couple of years back, Ralph got into it with Justin in Cincinnati. Justin was calling up talking all kinds of nonsense, which he never does. He usually hides behind X or Twitter
or whatever. But he called up and was really annoying wreck at Ralph to the point where I think, I think a holiday weekend if I remember, because Eddie wasn't there and Ralph was doing the news updates and Ralph stormed in from the other room in the old studio. He walked out of his studio, he walked through this giant bank vault door.
He made a right turn.
He then took a few steps, made a left turn through another bank vault door, and then on a rampage. He walks over to the producer's table where the phone screener system is and is trying to hang up on Justin and Cincinnati. However, for some reason, he just he couldn't quite figure it out. He thought he had hung up on him. So then he just starts trying to hang up on everybody. He's going scorched earthier. He wants no one online. He's like excay use me, you know,
and he's like wow. When Ralph gets going, the ground trembles. So anyway, it was great to see Ralph. He was there hanging out and his friends were very nice people, good people, big fans of the show.
Was awesome.
Hopefully they enjoyed their weekend in Vegas and had a good time with all that. And then we had Supermarket Steve and his lovely wife there hanging out. They both had matching shirts show them shirts that they were wearing that had my mug on it and I used to be four hundred and eighty pounds and now look at me now and I.
Don't eat and all that stuff.
It was.
It was hilarious. Eddie.
I think Eddie took some photos of that. I don't even know that I got any photos of them. I don't think I did. I don't think I got photos of them. I'd have to go back and check. It's been a few days since since the whole event and all that went down and posting fig pictures and whatnot. But Supermarket Steve, who seemed a little upset that he
has been a show contributor for many, many years. Supermarket Steve has reached out to us on many a night via social media or whatever, and he's given us content. The thing that he's known for though, And I told him, I said, listen, I traveled around, I've done these things around the country. The thing people bring up is your advice, your wisdom on how to properly handle the shopping cart
shopping cart etiquette, which I have followed. And Supermarket Steve, he's the guy that came up with the planes, said Listen Mallet.
He says, let me tell you something.
Okay, when you're at the grocery store, you don't put the shopping cart back, because that's taking someone's job. And so that launched what has been a multi year, multi pronged campaign by the show to point out that when you are putting shopping carts away when you go to the grocery store, you're actually hurting the business of shopping or you're you're taking someone's job away, as what I'm trying to say, right, And so we did this. Of course,
people are very passionate about that. They're more passionate about that my takes about the NBA or any along those lines. And so, needless to say, it was quite the ordeal there. But Supermarket seems like, Listen, there's all this stuff that I've done here. You know, he's pointing out some of the other things he's done in his body of work on the show. But very nice to see him and his wife. They did I think patch things up with the rain, Yeah, but I'm not sure. I have no idea.
And the Lorena was there. She was hanging out with Eddie. We were all there. If you missed at Eddie Coop.
Everyone was in the building and we were all bouncing around and all that. What else, Well, there were a couple of other things I wanted to mention. We had Salsa, the famous Salsa who's been a long time caller to the show.
He works for the airlines.
He gives travel tips and whatnot from time to time, and he asked Loraina for advice on relationships. So I had met Salsa many many years ago at one of these Mallard meet and greet things we did, and I had not seen him. You know, he calls up, that's it, And he'd mentioned the other day if you remember when he called the Overnight show, I guess spend almost two weeks. But he said, hey, I'm want to be there. I'm trying to be there. I'm going to be there. You know,
We're going back and forth. And he said, yeah, I have a much different look. But I didn't think anything of it. He's like all right, whatever, it changed a little bit. Maybe he's got a beer belly now or something like that. I was like, that's and people get older. It happens.
And he's around my age, he's a little older than I am. So I'm there and.
I'm chatting with one of the listeners, one of the fellas who came in from the barry, who was at the mallor meet and greet we did in Socow, the last not the one in Andy the comic book's place, but the one prior to that that we did where Eddie found a venue kind of like midway through between la and Orange County.
So that one.
So I was catching up with him, and then at the end of it, I introduced myself to this person who was sitting at the table who wasn't saying anything, she kind of observing. I was like, I had one of those OMG molments, because right there in front of me a man that had a full head of hair, he had glasses and a beard and nothing like I remember was the famous sauce in unbelievable shape, built like a Donnis, tremendous shape. Look like he's twenty years younger,
at least twenty years younger than his actual age. I was blown away. You ever had that happen where you know? I mean, I don't know Salsa that well. I've just met him at fan events, you know, people that are part of the show, and we all get together and break bread and hang out and all that stuff. And so Salsa, I mean, I knew what he looked like. I remembered him, and he's a fun guy. I'm really happy that he likes what we do here and we're friends on the show and whatnot. And but I could
not believe. Normally, if you shave your head, like listen, I wear hats, that's my move. My hair started thinning. I'm like, all right, let's wear hats. But Salsa he had a shaved head, but it was by choice one day. Effective Immediately, Salsa's like, all right, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm just gonna grow my hair out and then I'm gonna out of beard. And Toda like wow, that is unbelievable wild. It's like like Samer or something like that. The pair the hair is the superpower. So
that was that was pretty cool. One of the one of the guys came up to me. He was there with his son, and he had suffered from a heart attack like cardiac Stanley. And he said he found our show by listening while he was recovering, and we kind of helped him get through that, which was pretty cool. Oh, I want to go back to rerecket Rouse's friend from Reno who came down with his wife. He told the crazy story which made me feel pretty old. He and his wife, so.
They had a son that was born prematurely. Right, it was very scary thing.
Right, You're like, oh man, it's uh Nick, and it's it's just gonna be on guard, right, You're I mean, it's a life here. You got to do a lot of things differently when you have a premature baby. And so they they they're telling me they had to bring the they brought the kid home. It was barely over the limit required you could take the kid home. And I remember the story he was saying. They had to feed the kid, their son every couple of hours. Otherwise that's it, you know, I mean, you got to take
care of the kid. It's all over. So he had the night shift and he would listen to our show while he was taking care of his duties. His fatherly duties and to this day still listens eighteen years ago. The kid is now all grown up, an adult at eighteen and is likely going to play I think the cross. I believe that's the sport in Utah, in Salt Lake. And so that's awesome. How great is that? Remember that that story. We had a cab driver that came up
from Vegas. But you know how certain people just look perfect for the job. This guy and he's from Boston, but he's been in Vegas cab driver for a while, and this guy just looked like a cab driver is supposed to look, not an uber driver. I'm talking old school, a yellow cab, right. He had he wore the Boston Bruins shirt for Eddie, but it had to be so I was like, hey, you know that's my that's really for me. You know that's my shirt because it's a bee for Ben and all bees are my bees.
So I took credit for that.
So but I was catching up with him and he was telling stories about Boston and all that stuff.
But he just had that look.
It was perfect, like the guy had seen and done some things right. He had been out there driving people around, exploring all avenues of Vegas and the good, the bad, and the ugly. And he wasn't just coloring inside the lines, is covering coloring outside the lines as well.
So it was interesting to say the least.
But it was very nice to see him, and he was he was actually on the job and he stopped by because he's a fan of show and he wanted to say hello before he had to get back out and make some more money, make that cash. Some people wondering whether Blind Scott was going to be there. He said he was thinking about going, but he did not show up, so Blind Scott did not see Scott.
He was not there again.
I mean, there were so many people. I didn't want to mention Rob, the famous man who left to go to Michigan. They came back to Vegas, the man that plays poker all night, Rob professional poker player, but he was there.
We also we had several guys that.
Played poker at a guy decked out in padre gear who kept trying to buy me drinks and stuff. He was there, so it was good to see him. But that man, as the whole the whole event was was awesome. Mike from Vegas, that was the guy that really blew me away, Mike from Vegas. So Mike's called to show
up several times and told these wild stories. Wild and I would put Mike in Vegas in the class of Doc Mike Surf for Todd the comedie weed Man, Hippie in Miami, Wayne from Southee for those that attended the Malamet we did it the Cask and Flagging in Boston, Wayne from Southee. So Mike in Vegas has called up a few times over the years. He told us that he got arrested for going into the Bellagio Fountain on multiple occasions. Right, so he told that story. He's like, okay, fine,
the guy's telling us stories. He also told the story about getting dinged and he got stuck. He was climbing a fence, his pants got caught and he was hanging upside down for like several hours.
Do you remember that call?
So whatever, and the guy called Mike in Vegas called up and he said I'm gonna be there.
You know, And I was like, oh, yeah, sure whatever, I said, You're not going to show up. Sure enough, he showed up.
And that act that he has on the race that was authentic, that was not fake, that was not No, that was legit.
That was that was un real. He is, he's got a lot of issues, Mike.
He's up there, you know, beer drinking Brian and some of the other characters that we've had over the years on the show. He was sitting right in front of me. Actually posted a photo of this. If you look closely at the photo, you can see Mike in Vegas me.
He's laughing because he's completely sauced schnockered. And then he wanted to drink, and so instead of ordering off the menu, he just pulled out He has bags with him because he's a little down on his luck, and he pulled out a bottle of mouthwash, like an extra large bottle of mouthwash, and started jugging the mouthwash. He just wanted some booze. So he's like that, and I was like, hey, you know, I think you might you might have an issue, you know, I was like, you know, Captain obvious, and.
He play to me.
And we heard this before with beer drinking Brian and some others, that he is such an alcoholic he cannot stop drinking or he's going to die his body.
He's been, he.
Told me, he's been on the streets of Vegas for like fifteen years and he has to consume alcohol or else it's lights out.
So that was I mean, I feel I felt bad for the guy. Obviously, I felt bad for the guy, and I told him, I said, listen, Mike, I'm worried about you. I want you to be around for a long time. This does not seem like it's going well for you.
And he said, I got you know, he's trying to rationalize everything and all that. But it was nice that he showed up and he's a big fan of the show and he told us, you know, he said, listen, Obviously he's on a on a tough part of his life and this is something that the show cheers him up, and he likes being a character on the show and all that. So that made me feel good. I did want to mention that we're doing the show this morning. I'm doing the show solo as again. Rick and Maryland
will say morning time here early on this Friday. I am on the East Coast. I'm in Boston. I can't get into that right now. Some meetings or whatever doesn't really matter. But I have a little bit of time, like I have a day and a half today and tomorrow where I'll be kind of cruising around a little bit and enjoying the New England States. So if you're a big fan of the show, I'll send out some
comments on Twitter. If I happen to just show up, I'll be driving throughout the area, like all the states around here, and so if you're interested, if you're available, you have nothing going on, and I bet you I won't run anybody. Probably won't run anybody, but yeah, I'll just let you know. I might be heading to New Hampshire. Maybe I'll be in Portland, Maine or something like that. I'll just let you know, or Vermont or wherever, So
be on guard for that. If you're a big fan of the show, and I don't know whether or not we're going to see anybody, but I'll give you the option, give you a heads up, give you an hour's notice, something like that. You can send me a message if you're planning on coming out in Santallo. That's my plan anyway as of now. Now I do have to get final approval, but have a wonderful, glorious rest of your Friday.
We thank you for sporting show.
Thanks again to everybody that showed up, I want to thank Slug for putting that together with his buddy there from the Steakout Bar and Grill.
Hopefully we'll be back there in future years.
I want to thank Eddie and Lorraine and Coop for traveling to Vegas, for being part of this. I want to think it all for who showed up, I mean all over the place, right, And we'll do many more of these to come, but they're sporadic, nothing scheduled until after football season at this particular point. But have a wonderful day and we will catch you next time. Austa pasta. Is that what Danny would say? I think that's what Danny would say, right, Yeah, got a murder.
I gotta go