The Fifth Hour: Ben's Travel Log 1

of the Oven, definitely being recorded for Posterity's sake. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard and Dandy G Radio. It's been a long week here, Danny, a long week, and uh just had a major podcast blooper that unfortunately nobody heard. Danny. I think that's the first time that's ever happened to us doing this podcast. Yeah, I'm a I'm a little sluggish at this point in the in the week. I don't know up from down. It's bizarro. It is Benny's bizarro world. And I am such a radio loser. But

that's no excuse, Danny, that's no excuse. The number one rule, and you know you taught me this, Danny. Make sure the mic is on make sure people can hear what you're saying. I'm actually on the live are We started this Friday morning podcast twenty minutes ago, and twenty minutes in I told Ben, Hey, Ben, I don't see the recording thing up in the corner of the top screen. Oh no, yeah, we shock again. So what are you talking about? Danny? Come on knocking, what's wrong with you?

Let me just tell you you missed the best twenty minutes that Ben Maller has ever recorded in podcast history, and now Ben's gonna have to recreate the first twenty minute? Yeah, how can we possibly that? So anyway, let me just

explain real quick. I'll give you the I'm not gonna give you the extended dance remix because I already did that and nobody heard it other than Danny g But I think Danny, you give me an a for that right the first If this was live on the air, you would have had tweets give you an a for the monologue. It was wonderful anyway. Instead, Uh, it was that's what we got there, and then we in in the back of the room over there, it's yeah, I got you all right. So the way this will work

on this. The Friday podcast, which is actually now being recorded, we will have the first part of a two part Mallard mini series. It's the Mallard road Trip travelog. I'm in command with enhanced interrogation by Danny g radio the microphone throttler. Now, the reason I am doing this, Danny, is because I have been pestered in a kind way. People were not mean or anything like that, but I got a number of messages on the different social media platforms and email saying, hey, I really want to hear

how this went. People very proud of where they're from, Danny. People from Wisconsin wanted to hear out when of Chicago, all the places I visit, and so I figured, rather than do this on the radio show, we don't have as much time. There's a lot of stuff going on. We pretty much kind of react to the sports news the day on the radio show. The podcast. Boy, that is right in the wheelhouse of the podcast. Some would say it's all right, but I disagreed, Dany. I disagree

with that take. No, I want to know what happened on your trip because I saw pictures here and there. You left a little messages about where you were and who you were gonna see. But we didn't get any full details or stories about what went on. Yeah, so we'll start out like all things. It started out innocent enough. Had this trip planned for a while. It was all because of a heading. My sister in law was getting married in in North Carolina, and we really don't know

anyone in North Carolina. It's a long way to go, and me and the wife, the family, we determined that we needed to enhance the trip, and we figured why not. It's a long way to go, why not to stop somewhere in the middle. My brother had moved to Appleton, Wisconsin years ago. I had not seen him. We had a pandemic and all that. So we made a determination to make it a little bit of longer trip and go to visit some relatives I have in Chicago and

in in Apple and so boom, we we pulled it off. Now, I did not book the trip, but we started out flying to Chicago on Saturday. As I said, mostly to say a couple of dollars. It's not easy to get to Green Bay. It's wild going. I've never been to Green Bay before. We'll get to that in a minute, but it's wild going to Green Bay and thinking in an NFL team plays in green Bay compared to some of the other cities I've been to the have NFL teams.

It's a it's a crazy, crazy experience. I had menter chicagoan all the time, all that blah blah blah blah blah. So we took the first flight out on on Saturday, and as I might or might not have said in a previous conversation to you, it's very important to take the first flight out when you're on the West Coast because of the time difference, Whereas if you're on the East coast it doesn't matter as much. You can take a late afternoon flight because you make up the time

on the on the trip back, all right. So that's what we uh. And the first flight out of so Cow, which was a good idea. It's one of those things in theory that seemed like a good idea, but in execution it was not. I could not go to sleep. My body clock still on the overnight schedule from doing the show all week, so I ended up going to bed on Friday night and Saturday about two thirty in the morning, woke up at four am and had a rush to get to the car service to get to

the airport. But I I did not have to wear a mask on the plane. Now, the car service they packed us all in like studies. They did not have room for the luggage, so that became a nightmare. It was a sedan, but it did not have enough space in it. Anyway. I got to to the winning City on on Saturday and I started snapping some photos. I said, wall no, let me do a little photographing thing. And I got this perfect photo when I got out of the planet, Old Hair, that weird looking mayor of Chicago,

that creepy mayor of Chicago. She was like right behind me in the photo. I thought, that's perfect, that's a good omen. So I I took that photo and I posted this and I'm here and all that stuff. I couldn't sleep on the plane, which I never can and uh, and got to Old Hair and it's a massive airport.

Touchdown in your mouth considering how big it is, it's just so much smoother than L A X. But pretty much any airt I've ever been to has been better than L A X. And so they I took this tram thing that wraps around to the rental car facility and we got there and it was empty the pockets. It was a ch change cha ching cha, ching to ching stick it up. It was the first of many hold ups while you were in Yes, Yes, I was burglarized when I first got to the rental car desk.

And I will not name the rental car company, as you know, Danny, we do not name names here, but I will tell you that it definitely hurts a lot. It hurts my wallet a lot what happened there at the rental car facility. And they were all kinds of charges that I was like, what is that? Like what why are we paying that? And I ended up breaking a cardinal rule. And I've actually told this story before. You were probably on the podcast with with Guests Come,

but I talked about it for years. I learned from a sports writer, old baseball writer. The key to travel when travel on your own. A lot of baseball writers do that I don't know own and they don't travel with the team. Is you end up having to leave the airport and rent the car outside of the airport grounds because that's where they stick it to you. With all the extra fees and the taxes to pay for

the stadiums and all the hidden costs they get. They love politicians to get the out of towners to spend a bunch of money and end up paying for the stadiums and all that. So I by violated that role. It was insane and all that. How much money. But we we then tried to grab some food on the way to Wisconsin. We're gonna drive and visit my brother for a couple of days. And I was the driver

and my wife was the navigator. Uh. And they actually charged in Illinois, they charged money to have my wife also be able to drive, even though I was gonna drive most of the time. However, in Virginia they said, oh, no, if you're married, it's no big deal. I was like, what the hell is that? I still can't figure that out. Uh, somebody along the way screwed me over. Anyway, So we went to this pizza place in this famous Chicago pizza place, lou mal Noddies, And we found a location, my wife

did near the airport. But we got there and it was only a takeout spot. That's fertilizing. Yeah, and we weren't really familiar with the neighborhood. It didn't look like the greatest neighborhood, considering there was a dollar store right across the street, which usually is a sign that's not a great neighborhood. Uh yeah, I know I'm stereotyping, but

I I believe that. So anyway, right down the street from where I live, Like I said, you know, I love the dollar store, but generally I've never seen one in Beverly Hills. Have you ever seen a dollar store in Beverly Hills. Hey, man, you might not notice, but I'm black. I've never seen that. Anyways. Uh So we decided not to wait for the pizza because these deep dish pizzas take like thirty five already minute. So that

was a that was a bummer. I feel like I might have mentioned this earlier Danny in a podcast that

was not broadcast. But on my way to Chicago, I was reading my favorite tabloid, the Daily Mail out of London, and they had a big right up about all the crime in Chicago and how I's safe it was, and there was murders here, there and everywhere, and that it was spilling over from Traditionally, the South Side of Chicago has been where most of the crime is, but in the last year, it's moved to other parts of the city.

And so usually when I've gone to Chicago in the pastor was I just avoid the south side, You're fine, But now like they were scaring everybody saying, oh, it's a it's a nightmare, blah blah. But people getting carjacked on the north suburbs of Chicago where the rich people living. All this stuff so a little uh giter ish, But I felt I got when I was I was in Chicago along that first day, but I I just felt I was kind of like l A, like downtown l A. You gotta be on guard, you gotta be yeah, you

gotta be kind of looking around at all times. You gotta yeah, head on a swip. So that was mine. We didn't end up eating in Chicago. We just got on the road to try to visit my my brother in Appleton. We drove on Highway forty one, which is part of it is a toll road. Screw the politicians in Illinois, so right away they stick you on a

toll road. So I'm driving to Wisconsin. First stop is Kenosha. No. I didn't even realize until later that that was where a lot of the chaos happened uh in the year right, the protest and the shooting that took place in Kenosha, And to me, I just wanted to bite the eat. And I was told by my my radio friend Bob Fesco to go to the Cheese Castle in Kenosha. He said, you gotta go to the Cheese Castle. I said, what's that?

He said about it, just as as it is in the name, it's the cheesecap So so we we headed there and it was dip everything into cheese. No, no, no, no, it's got They just it's like a little market. It's shaped like a castle, and it did not disappoint. It is a cheese lover's Disneyland, Danny. Yeah. I mean there's a ton of I mean all kinds of different cheese. And this place was filled, even though it was just

across the border and Kenosha. It was filled with cub things because the Cubs were playing the Brewers that night, and so a bunch of the Chicago wands were making the trip up to go see the brew Crew and the Cubbies. So all these guys are wanting around in Cub jerseys. And I had my first cheese curd in Wisconsin and some pretzel bites and it was amazing. Oh my god, man, it sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen. Yeah, but you're gonna die anyway. It was

wonderful and Wisconsin's my kind of food. A lot of cheeses, lot of unhealthy pretzels and the meats and whatnot. We we did the whole tour of the castle, the Cheese Castle, and I was gonna get back on the highway and said, wait a minute, there's another thing I have to cross off my bucket list. Culver's. Have you ever eaten at the Culver's? No? Okay, So this is like a local. It's the Wisconsin version of In and Out, you know, the East Coast. They've got five guys West Coast in

and Out in the burger Wars. It's Culver's in Wisconsin. I've tweet about that place before, yeah, and I've heard about it, and I really wanted to eat there. And I figured, well, I don't know for sure that I'll be able to eat at one down the line. I didn't realize how many of these locations there were, And so we saw Culver's and immediately stopped. It was on my bucket list mission accomplished. The Kenosha location. Butter Burger, cheese,

courage fries, hashtag Nirvana. Man was at a good burger. Man was that great? And so so then we we got back on the right. I keep. I had no sleep. We had none of us said sleep that were traveling. So we had a long drive up to Appleton Highway forty one. A few observations date, A few observations about the current state of the state of Wisconsin and my friends in the Cheese state. Uh. A very eclectic mix of signs. A lot of firework stores in Wisconsin selling

fireworks up and down Highway forty one. There was a mix of sex shops and then right after there'd be a billboard for a sex shop the God Squad telling you if you go to the sex shop, you're going to burn in hell. So it was quite the mix there. And there was a few gambling places mixed in casinos and whatnot. So good America, every vice imaginable, a lot of random road I didn't notice a lot of road kill in the great state of Wisconsin. All kinds of critters and and things on the road. I drove by

the Harley David headquarters. As you know, Danny the Harley Davidson motorcycle from Wisconsin from Milwaukee. Their headquarters are there, and a lot of barnes, a lot of farms, the food companies. You know that. I think it's called hair brow hairbrow? Is that it? Hairbow? Harbow? Yeah? Yeah, yeah. We drove by their big facility and uh and then boom on a ninety minute to sleep. We made the one eighty three mile drive from O'Hare to Appleton, Wisconsin.

And it was the Mallard brother reunion because my older brother had driven from New York City to meet my younger brother and me in Wisconsin. He got there before us, and we had not been together in almost five years. I can't believe it's been that long. But we had the COVID excuse that no, when my brother wouldn't get together, my younger brother wouldn't get together with anybody. I think a lot of families have gone through what you're talking about, yea.

So it was it was great to see everybody and catch up, and it was great to see pooh and hug and all that stuff. And we all grew up very close and now we live in every time zone outside the Mountain time zone, so it's all all over the country, and uh, yeah, that's a little odd. But my older brother and his wife a pretty good thing going to New York. They were like a marketing thing, and my my younger brother is kind of hangs out.

He's got that going on. But I'm like the black sheep of the family because doing the overnight radio thing. So it was it was good. And I don't really have a lot in common like with my brothers other than the family bond, meaning that they're not really sports people and I'm not really into the stuff there, and but we we don't. We make it work. What's their biggest topic of conversation. Um, it's well, that's a good question. What were they talking about that I wasn't interested in.

There was a lot of conversation about like random pop culture things, but stuff that I'm not. I'm into some pop culture, but they were like weird, weird things. A lot of computer stuff. They're both in the computers a lot video game stuff. I'm not really much into that, like not not the games I play, So that kind of Uh, there was a question I got asked a lot. What is there to do in Appleton? Wisconsin. And the answer is to word dandy, not much. Okay, that's the answer. Okay.

The town rolls up at seven o'clock and I normally don't even get going until nine or ten o'clock at night. By then everything is closed up. I gotta tell Appleton's beautiful. It's a beautiful city. I totally understand why my brother lives there, other than the weather, which is terrible eleven months of the eleven months of the year. A lot of trees, a lot of really cool one plus year old buildings. The Fox River which lets out in Green Bay,

runs through Appleton. And walked around this really old bridge that was built years ago that they had a nesting area for bald eagles. The bald eagles hang out in Appleton. They chill out there in at least in part of May, because they were hanging out and there were a lot of pelicans like stuff you don't expect to see. I didn't expect to see some weird seabirds in Appleton, Wisconsin.

And a lot of references to Harry Houdini, Danny, a lot of references to the late Harry Douney has been who's been dead for almost a hundred years, but they still have a bunch of stuff. He died. I looked it up. He died in nineteen six. But he's still a big deal. So four more years away from the hundredth anniversary of the passage of Harry, but Harry Uddini. But it is impressive that his name is synonymous with magic, the Houdini act. Right you say that, people know what

you mean. I didn't know he was from that area. Well, he wasn't born there. He spent four years and as his child there and as a performer, he always claimed he was from Appleton, Wisconsin or whatever reason. I don't know why. There must have been some ulterior motive there. But there's a museum for him. There was a plaza downtown Appleton name for him. It was cool. I like magic and all that, But for me, the highlight was the trip up the road thirty miles actually it's twenty

eight miles from my brother's house. Lambo Field, frozen tundra. Now, I'm sure there was way more things to do in Green Bay. Oh sure, yes. You get off at Lombardi Avenue. Lombardi Avenue and there's a strip of stores and they were just like regular kind of stories you'd see in the suburbs of any city. And then right right past that is this massive stadium, and right across the street there's houses. It felt like the old Wrigley Field or

Finway Park, where there's houses right across the street. And we drove right in the parking lot at Lambeau drove around the There was a gift shop area part of the stadium you could walk through. It was pretty cool. I did not buy a Packer hat though, Danny, because I'm not a Packer fan. I'm a Ram fan. However, I did buy a lambeau Field hat. I figured that was a compromise because I'm celebrating the stadium, not the team.

What does the lambeau Field hat look like. It's just like a screen hat has got the Lambeau name on it and a little drawing and all that. But it was cool. I figured why not. People still would think you're a Packers fan if you had that, they can think whatever they want. They'll be wrong. I did see the memorial for Davante. Adams very upset that he left to go to Your Raiders, so they were very sad

there that Davante has moved on. You can't telling me his life would be a lot different coming from Green Bay and going to Las Vegas. Oh, I know. Can you imagine going from from Lambeau to oh my goodness, going from a strip mall to a strip club? Yeah? Oh man, that the city. It was cool, It was neat. I watched a bunch of games the Packers have been in over the year's last twenty years with Farvan Rogers. They've been on national TVs so much in all those

snow games. And it was called Venerable Pig Skin Shrine Sacred Land. And right across the street is a house with a playground in the front of the house. It was freaking, freaking crazy, but anyway, so the expedite the process. So I spent uh Saturday through Monday night with my brothers. Now, Monday afternoon, my older brothers started to ride back to New York City now that afternoon. This actually happened a

couple of days before my schedule opened up. I decided to hold a last minute mallard meet and greet day more of a spur of the moment kind of improv thing. I was supposed to travel to Traverse City, Michigan on Monday, because I have a cousin that lives over in Michigan. She's getting older and I wanted to see her. I want to hang out with her and whatnot. But logistically she told me, she said, no, that's only a couple of hours from Apple. So I went on the computer

and I looked up to travel itinerary. To go from where I was in Appleton to Traverse City. It would have taken fourteen hours. Wow, fourteen hours to travel there, goofed. Yeah, seven hours each way, so seven hours there, seven hours back. So I did the cost benefit analysis and I said, well, there's twenty four hours in a day. You figure I don't sleep much, but I sleep about five of those hours. So if I sleep five hours and then I spend fourteen hours traveling, that only leaves five hours in the

day to do everything else. And uh so I and you had to take a ferry across like Michigan. It was this whole big thing. So I decided since I had a little extra time, my brother was leaving, my younger brother was doing some stuff, so I had a mallard meat, very impulsive, and we had a number. I actually asked people on Facebook. I said do you want to have a meet and greet, you know, let me

know if you're interested. R s v P. And knowing human nature, Danny I figured that even though so many people had said they were gonna go, that most people say something and then they don't actually follow. I had people. I had so many people from Minnesota. Oh, I'm so happy you're in the Midwest. I don't like Wisconsin, but I'm gonna go. And I had a guy from Kalamazoo, Michigan.

I love your show so much. I'm gonna drive boat uh and all these people, and you know, we had a good turn out, But the amount of people that said they were gonna be there and the amount of people that actually showed up much different. I am such a radio loser, much different. That always happens. And and this was the ultimate test because I've done these things in Seattle and Pittsburgh and in Boston multiple times in other places, and these are bigger places where there's a

lot of people. This is off the beaten path, but a good time hanging out. And we had a good turn out considering the location. All that, and only on social media. Had some really cool people that showed up and hang out have a drink at oh Sarios the Latin fusion. Yeah, the Mexican restaurant. People were wondering, why the hell did you go to a Mexican restaurant in Wisconsin. Blah blah blah blah blah. Well the owners are actually friends of the family, so I had a had a

hook up. If you just show up to a restaurant and say, I'm gonna have a ton of people there, sometimes they get alone and comfortable even though they want the business. They're like, I don't know, you know, these people are like cool. So I love learning about listeners the show and what makes them tick and all that stuff.

But I was genuinely disappointed. I thought for sure that at least a couple of people from Minnesota that live on the border who had contacted me would make the drive over and and they all ended up flaking, And that was disappointing. Yeah, we did set right, Yeah, exactly. I get it. I get it. And the thing about that I noticed was a bunch of people are like, hey, you should come to Nashville or come to Tampa, or like, if I'm in the backyard, They're like, okay, I'll see it.

They I think they want me to just be a hobo and travel around to various cities. You could be like Brian No and just live in a different city every other week. Yeah, exactly. I just live out of a suitcase and just travel around and be a gypsy. I'll be the new Gypsy kick. Why not? Anyway, So I to the Mallard Meat and greet uh, and I

was I was bummed out. There was a guy that said he lived in Appleton, Danny, and he listened to me when I did the Ben and Dave show back in the nineties, whoa long as time ago, And he said he was gonna come out and hang out, and he never did. He didn't show up. Unfortunate. I hope he's all right. But if you listen to that show, he must be an older gentleman. So how he probably has a motorized scooter. Anyway, So I went back to my brother's humble abode in Wisconsin. It is cool these

houses with these basements. I love the basements. We don't have the basements in California because the earthquakes. But I went back, said our goodbyes, hugged it out, packed up the Mallard rental wagon, and headed south back down the almost two hundred miles to Chicago. Where did you stay when you were there? Oh, we were supposed to stay with my brother, but he claimed he didn't have space, and we had an airbnb in Appleton, which was cool.

It was a fine little house and not that expensive being in Appleton, so it was very cost effective and all that. And so then we headed back to Chicago and my wife decided she wanted to treat herself to a nice hotel. Daddy, I don't need to stay in a nice hotel. I don't know about you. As long as I don't have bed, you know, beg bugs and fleas and all that, I don't need that. But just

give me a decent hotel. I don't need a great hotel. Yeah, I say, as long as it's clean, it's in a good location, and it's newer, it wasn't built in like the fifties and it's falling apart. Yeah, as long as I'm not going to get some kind of disease from laying on the bed, I'm okay with it. And I'm not gonna get poisoned from the water or the air

condition Anyway. She picked this place called the London House, which is prime Chicago real estate, right on Michigan Avenue at the corner of Michigan Avenue and Whacker Drive, which is the big streets there in Chicago. Amazing location, right in the belly of the Beast. So since I'm married to her, I was along for the ride at the London House and this time we we were successful at getting lou mal Noddies deep dish pizza. Walked around. It was freezing this entire time in milwauch in in a

Appleton and in Chicago, just nasty weather. But I did get my birthday sunny Sunday. Danny. I know you very concerned about that be at your Your family has a restaurant there, Garratt Deli's Chocolate Shop, Danny garat Delli and it looks over the Chicago River. Beautiful location. Yeah. So I went in there and had my favorite chocolate cookie Sunday and it was great, wonderful, love that thing. That's my go to Sunday. So this was by the time this happened, it was Tuesday. We got in Chicago like

one in the morning on on Monday. So on Tuesday we had gotten tickets to the Cubs game at Wrigley against the White Sox. Now, I've not been to Wrigley Fields since they renovated it. Big props to my guy, Jonas Knox. Jonas is a made man or colleague morning guy at Fox pulls Ready. He's a made man in Chicago. So he he reached out to me when he heard I was going to Chicago. Says, hey, I got I got a couple of tickets. You want to go to the game. I said, yeah, give me a couple of days. Sure,

And I love that. And they were bleacher tickets and so I got to sit in the bleachers at Wrigley Field. And but I looked at the forecast and it said it was rainy, It's gonna rain all night, very cold conditions. I said, there's no way they're playing this game. It's not gonna happen. In fact, I told I told the wife, I said, listen, don't worry about it. She was concerned about having to go to the cold weather. I said,

don't worry. They're not gonna play it. And so, in classic Murphy's law of fashion, uh, they decide I will play the game. So so you froze your balls off. It was so bad. It was so bad. It was rain, but it wasn't like a hard rain. It was a light, misty rain like it was. It was the heavens just spitting lightly at you. And it was very cold, windy. The windshill said it was thirty degrees at Wrigley Field.

And we were not prepared. We did not bring the the many things you need to sit in cold weather, the gloves, the hot packs, the all that. So we had none of that stuff there. And you know, but we were at the game and you're in Chicago, You're like, you know, why not and paid out of the out of you know what, out of the key store for parking because there's no parking lots around Wrigley Fields in the middle of the city. The Mallard calculator must have

been going crazy. Oh my god. Yeah, So we just we drove the rental car over and I was like, let's let's just you know, pay for part or whatever. So eighty five dollars to park eighty five dollars. Mainly because my wife did not want to wait until the game was over. She was she she had a premonition that she probably wasn't gonna stay at the end of the game, and if you pay a lesser amount, you're

boxed in. You can't get out anyway. So we we headed walked around Wrigley the Cubby Bear, the famous bar there which had been there forever. The late there was a late arriving crowd. People always say Dodger fans arrived late. It was a late arriving crowd because they're at the bars exactly. Everyone was sauced when they showed up. But Rigley had a much different vibe than I remember. I was there before they renovated it, and I don't want to say the charm was completely gone, but it was

much different green one out it had. It felt like the the comp I would give it is like Disneyland if you went to Disneyland back in the old days, and then in Anaheim. And then they added that shopping across the street, you know where Disney Downtown Disney. Yeah, like the area around Wrigley Field felt like downtown Disney.

And I know they're in business and it's the free market, and they bought a lot of the land around Wrigley Field and the corporate ties the Cubbies to monetize the tradition and it's progress, as they say, whoever they are. But man, it's it's like going to Disneyland. So it's somewhat turned into cubby Land. Yeah, yeah, it's it's It's Cubby Lane, is what it is. That's right. And they did a really nice job the way they renovated Wrigley.

I thought they did a good job. It's a little too much for me because I remember the way used to be, but progress things changed. Anyway, my wife was so in so much agony from the cold weather. I think she was getting ready to divorce me from making her sit out there with the family. The wind, the rain and all that. And like I said, we were not ready. Didn't have gloves, didn't have scarfs. We did

have parkers. We went on and bought some parks in Wisconsin because it was raining there too, But the problem was the bleachers were soaking wet from the rain, so we needed the parker is to sit on, so we couldn't. It was. It was a total crap show. And uh but but anyway, I had a chance to meet a legendary caller to the show phase from Chicago. I put out the message on Facebook. I said, anybody at the the ballpark if you're a fan of the show, I'd

love to meet you. And Face said, I'll be there, and he was there, and he was a man of his word and he showed up and it was great. He also had a birthday, so we coordinated things. It was great to meet him and his I think his wife or soon to be wife. Very cool people. And she's a White Sox fan. He's a Cub fan and so hard worker, drives a truck. He's got some comption to him. I like people like that. And he called up with the famous Windy's joke that's right a while

back there. So it was cool. I was like, people that work hard and all that. So, uh, working the third chef this is this is not for the faint of heart. So we did end up leaving the Cub White Sox game midway through. Otherwise I would be looking for a divorce lawyer. What was the score when you left? Uh? The White Sox were winning. I think it was like two nothing or three nothing at that point. It wasn't

a high scoring game. Um. We headed over those two Pete Quads Pizza in Chicago, home of the pan style deep dish pete to caramelized crustating. Oh that sounds promising. Yeah. Now, this place came highly recommended to us by some locals and did not disappointed. Amazing pipe culinary arts. And so we ended up watching trying to we were trying to warm up. We watched the final few innings of the game as the massive pie cooked, and that's when the

drama orama started. All right, So we leave the restaurant in Chicago. We had parked on the street. There's no parking lot for the restaurant, and we started walking to where we thought our car was, and it wasn't where we thought it was. It turned into a wild goose chase. Could not, for the life of me. Remember I wasn't drunk, mind you, we couldn't. We couldn't remember where the damp car was located. You just had frost bite. Oh it's tera.

It was like a dude, where's my car? Remake? And we were literally figured till we spent forty minutes walking around. It's still raining. Mind in Chicago, it's still freezing and we're walking around there. I wondered if my car had been stolen, the rental car, and we're trying to retrace the steps and all that and I got some help from our from our buddy there. He was able to

find the vehicle. However, we had killed so much time, Danny, that it was too late were I was playing going to visit my my cousin, but if she lives in the northern suburbs, and it was like an hour outside of where we were, and so this sucked. And uh so we went back to the hotel that admitted defeat for that day. Now did you just get turned around? Yeah, like we a lot of the streets around I looked

the same, and I didn't really. I tried to jot down and take a picture of the street sign, but I did remember the street, but I I it was like three streets over from where the car was. We were walking towards the restaurant. Anyway, it was. It was a second city. Whether got the best of us and all that all right, So really I have a lot of time. But the final full day in Chicago, which was last Wednesday, we packed a lot into our day. Started out on an architectural boat tour of the Windy City,

which I highly recommend. Very cool if you're from out of Chicago or even in Chicago, hop on a boat ninety minutes, your cruise all over the Chicago River. Amazing skyscrapers in Chicago beautiful. I love the the concrete jungle and the thing I took away from that, Danny, And I'm gonna use this on the show. The name Chicago, do you know what that stands for? No? Alright, so the origin according to the person on the boat, maybe

they were lying. The word Chicago is a French version of the Miami, Illinois word Chicakawa, which means stinky onion. Chicago is named after garlic, a garlic plant, not an onion. Actually, the stinky onion is what Chicago is, right And anyway, another historic Chicago food stop we we headed after that, we we we went to Portillo's for some hot dogs, but to the Mallard building located in the Yeah, said Mallards. Yeah, Mallage in the Jewelry district, right near Millennium Park. You

know that that big bean. Yes, yeah, it's right like a couple of blocks away from that. Uh. People have asked, does your family own the Mallard building? Not to my knowledge, if they do own it, they didn't tell me about it. But it was cool seeing seeing the my surname on the side of the building. It was pretty neat. And uh,

I don't know who it was named after. I don't know anything about it other than my name, family names on it, and I there's a couple of different families that have the same last name as I do, so who knows. And uh, my family was from Chicago. A lot of my my dad's side of the family from Chicago in the garment business. And in fact, my dad was the first of the family relatives to be born outside of Chicago. So yeah, our families have a lot

in common. My mom was born in Springfield, Massachusetts. Oh cool. She was there until middle school before she went to San Jose, California. My dad was born in Chicago. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, my grandfather from Springfield, mass and my my other grandfather from Chicago. Our families almost mirror each other. Okay that it's a small world, after all, it's a

small small world. We did spent a little time at the London House, went back there, hung out this nice rooftop restaurant which was pretty cool, very pricey, very expensive, out of my my vell of comfort, but a lot of great ambiance and all that. But but we then finally finally got to meet up with my cousin who I used to hang out with when she was a little girl and I was a little, little little kid.

We were a little kids hanging out at bar Mitzvah's and weddings and family reunions and all that, and uh it was. She lives in Chicago, and I had lost contact with her for a number of years, but we reconnected a few years back and you got to meet her husband. Very cool kiddos hanging out at their house. There this guy Joel who claims, according to my cousin, Heidi listens to the podcast now, so we'll see if he's if he hears this, if he reaches out to me.

But he's a typical Chicago sportsman. Loves the Cubs, Bears, Blackhawks, some of the Bulls, all that stuff, and no Bears. In fact, he told me he's hoping the Bears move out because the Bears. There's a rumor the Bears are gonna move out of Chicago proper and after the suburbs. If they do, it'll be right across in the neighborhood

where my cousin lives. There's like a race track they're gonna build a football stadium their version of Santa Clara exactly exactly, but it was it was great to me, my my second cousins and uh, I got a cousin is going to be going to the University of Wisconsin Badger next year. The middle kid reminded me of me because he's in like baseball cars and stuff like that. That's pretty cool and plays hockey baseball. And then they got a daughter that's a younger daughter is like in

third grade. So but it was it was cool. I think, well, we were there, Danny, and this will be the intermission and you'll have to tune in tomorrow, same Mallard time, same Mallard channel for what happened with the wedding for the riveting conclusion of this two part mini series, The Mallard Mini Series. We've talked about Wisconsin in Illinois, but what about Virginia and North Carolina. Stay tuned, Dot dot Dot can't wait later. Skater gott a murder, Gotta go