The Fifth Hour: Belichick Boot & Darko Spark

Kabooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, the clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

In the air.

Everywhere. Well, come in to the audio dojo. It is the twelfth day of January. Happy Friday, Friday Friday. It's a super wild card weekend, big marketing by the NFL. This the Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler. That would be me and Danny G Radio as we hang out. Because four hours a night or not enough. We do this eight days a week, eight days a week. Now you're either in for a special treat today or this is

I'm still here producing this bad Boy.

I'm not panicked.

You were stuck with just dear old me that would be me being Ben. That's it.

That's all we have is me on this podcast, and we have a lot of ground to cover. My right hand was getting a workout, a lot of ground to cover, and we're gonna we're gonna jump right into it. As you know, on these Friday podcasts, we try to have a lighthearted look at things that are going on. We've done a lot of sporty stuff the last couple of weeks, and I think we'll continue that because the big.

News of the week, which came down.

Yesterday, the demise of Bill Belichick, as he turned out the lies the parties over Bill Belichick exiting stage left from the Commonwealth out as coach of the Patriots after a miserable season that saw in New England be so bad they end up with the number three pick in the NFL Draft. Now, how do I relate to the Belichick story? Did we do monologues on the Overnight Show a few hours ago? Yes, of course we did. But I have an interesting spin on this and it relates

The Patriots Brona Cincinnati.

And so what this means when you work at a TV station or radio station that covers sports, I think we know what happens. You are going to blog that to death, is what you're going to do. You are just going to pound that story over and over and over again. And so our friends at NBC Sports Boston, while they were producing Benny Versus the Penny. We're doing copious amounts of work to deal with the bed of thorns that is Bill Belichick. It was a Bellachickian edition

It's a great story. It's a great story.

Depending on how old you are, we likely will not ever see a coach have a run like Belichick. This usually happens once every couple of generations, So that would mean we would skip a generation and we'll have a decade, a couple of day where there's really nothing like this on the table, and then eventually somebody will come along who is a little hoggler right now, little.

Kid or maybe hasn't even been born yet, who.

Will hold the stage and have the reins of a dominant NFL team. But for those of us that are around my age, this is it. This is like the last great NFL coach and it just is a weird Quinkie dink that we happen to be doing the TV show at the same time that all that went down, And exciting news for Benny versus the Penny. Not only did it continue into the plus we qualified for the playoffs, which is exciting because they could have just dumped the show at the end of the regular season and said

That would be the week. So if you have Wildcard games on Saturday and games on Sunday and then games on Monday, by the time the show airs on Sunday, there might only be one game left to break down. So what do you do.

So the fine executives that NBC Regional Sports Networks said, Okay, we'll do the show on Thursday. We'll then release it to the affiliates on Thursday night, the same day that we record the show, and allow them to start playing it on Thursday. But everyone's been very cool. The show is still going to air a number of times on Friday, which is today and Saturday and then Sunday. In fact,

We've got three showings. That's pretty cool.

San Francisco here we come three pm, nine pm, and eleven thirty pm. And we're also on NBC Sports California, which is home the Sacramento Kings at eight o'clock tonight, in a couple of showings on Saturday in the La market on sn Why but I have a voice in my head, and the voices is Danny G. It's like, Hey, I know I'm not here, but you moron. Just tell people to check their local TV listings. And so I probably should have done that, but I just gave most of the schedule, at least for today.

So I guess I'm not good at this, but that I just wanted to mention now.

I wanted to turn the page for a second and spend at least a couple of minutes acknowledging a tip of the headphones. So if you listen to the radio show, you know it was. Last week has been kind of tough because my beloved dog Bella has has checked out of this mortal coil. Bye Bye Bella. We're gonna call this and I didn't post any photos on social media. I really want the purpose of Bye Bye Bella. I wanted to thank you. A number of you reached out to me, and it's always wonderful when.

People that you know. I know some of you because.

You've interacted with me, whether you're a character on the show or you're a show contributor.

In one way or another, I know you a little.

But there are people that I have no idea who they are, who are just fans of the show and they love dogs and pets, and they sent me a nice message and it's very kind, and you didn't have to do that, and I appreciate it, and thank you. I loved being Bella's companion and enjoying my dog's time. And she was so amazing when we first got her and for years, but she got old and it's one of those things that for me, the reason this was

Pet goes away.

And it was a little different with Bella because she has been pretty ill for a while. Me and the wife, we've kind of been saying to each other off and on for the past I don't know how long exactly, it's been, maybe a year, probably a little less than that, but it has been a case where bell has kind of been in hospice, doggy hospice, and we knew that this time was coming, so we had plenty of time.

To prepare for It.

Doesn't mean that you're like excited when it happens and all that, but Bella she got attacked by a coyote about.

Three years ago.

I think it was in fact three almost three years exactly, and it was in the middle of the night I was doing the show. Was during COVID, kind of the tail end of COVID. I was doing the show from the home studio and the belarue the Belaruski went out to get busy, and a coyote thought, that's dinner. Not a big dinner. It's a small dinner. I'm on a diet, but it's a dinner, and so the coyote went out to attack attack Bella, and she was a bit pretty good.

I mean, there was a big chunk of her that was gone, and we were freaking out.

She was freaking out, and we took her, spent thousands of dos to get her fixed up and all of that, and it was successful. She lived several more years, but she was never really the same after that. And I don't know that that's directly related to that attack. Maybe it was just the whole thing, all of it together. And she started slowing down.

A little bit more, a little bit more, as dogs do as they get older, and it got to the point where she.

Kind of just wanted to be by herself, and dogs are all about companionship, and I know you let him roam around and whatnot. Maybe you have a backyard, maybe you take them to the dog park, you let him roam around. But ultimately, if the dog doesn't want anything to do with you, that generally is a bad sign.

That's generally a bad soie. I don't want to speak for all dogs, but what the hell why not? And so it's been that way for a while. Bella's been there, We've been feeding her. She pretty much has been unable to control the bodily function. Anyways, I don't want to get in too deep, but I just wanted.

To thank you, many of some I didn't even expect to hear from because you're known as douchebags on the show.

You know who you are, and you still reach them, so so thank I appreciate that.

Now to turn away from that and I want to get back to the funt on this podcast, we like to highlight some of the more as any things that have happened now this week on the show, we were given the gift of great audio.

And when you work in a radio show, you need great audio. You need it. It's all you have is audio. You don't have pictures, just have audience. You need the audio.

And if you listen every night, you probably know where I'm going with this. I'm gonna call this one the dark O Delight, someone I had never heard of. I had no idea who this person was, and he gave me smiles. This person made me enjoy a night of radio and so I'm grateful for that. We are talking about dark oh Ryakovic, the head coach of the Toronto

What is still wrong with the Clippers?

The Toronto Raptors were just led to the slaughter by the referees. It was they didn't even try to hide it. It's clear bias and embarrassing level of bias where the officials were working as guardian angels to help Lebron.

That's crap.

Been over a decade since the game had been this lopside in the foul shot to sparity. So anyway, that's the setup and moments after Toronto lost.

The game, the prime loser.

The head coach of the Raptors, dark Go Ryakovic, got up to the desk and let's go to the audio tape, take all this and enjoy this.

That's that's that's outrageous. What happened tonight. This is completely bias. This is shame. Shame for the referee, shame for the league to allow this. Twenty three free throws for them and we get two free throws in the fourth quarter, Like how to play the game. I understand respect for all stars and all that, but we have.

Star players on our team as well.

How's possible a Scattie Barnes, who is all Star caliber player in this league. He goes every single time to the rim with fours and trying to get get to the rim.

Without flopping and and not trying to get foul calls. He gets two three throws for the whole game. How is that possible?

How are you gonna explain it to me if that's If that's the case, just let us know so we don't show up for the game.

Just give them a win.

But that was not fair tonight, and this is not hippening first time for us. Scottie Barnes is gonna be old started, he's gonna be the face of this league. And what's hippening going here? During whole season, I've been calding you back. It's a complete crap.

Wow, I still like it.

I'm not gonna lie. I still like it. I enjoy it. I'm a fan. I'm a fan.

Of this.

So the highlight, there's a couple of drops that we got on this. The one right there he says, it's a complete crap. Darko's from Serbia and it's a complete crap crap.

That is wonderful. That is so good.

And when he said what happened tonight, this is completely bs.

This is shame.

This is shame, solid solid, that's a solid sound bite. That is a solid bite. And the one that which I loved, I actually got to know an argument.

If you listen to the show this week, we talked about this.

There was a bit of a disagreement between myself, Eddie and Cooper. These guys don't think any of these things are that good, and I like, no, no, this is great. The one that I loved though he came completely out of cuckoo land. Here's a head coach of the Toronto Raptors, Darko Ryakovic, and he says, Scottie Barnes is gonna be an All Star, He's gonna be the face of the league.

Scottie Barnes. Scottie Barnes, He's gonna be old Stott. He's gonna be the.

Face of this league. Scotty bleeping Barns. It's like you gotta be I mean, come on, he's a nice player, but he's not He's not anywhere close to that level. And maybe he becomes an All Star by chance, but basically face of the NBA in Canada. So where does the Darko Raptors coach rank? It's and I don't I don't do this. This is not a list. It's big board. It's big Ben's big board. And it's just off the top of my head. I've compared nothing. I have compiled enough.

If you want to crown them, then crown their ass. No, it's not that, certainly not that is it.

Mike Tomlin going on a rant about the Steelers and you know, Mojoe and all that stuff.

We want them to be fat and sassy and spoiled.

It is our job, fat and sassy and spoiled. It's our job.

Is it that? No, it's not that. It's not that.

It's not Jim Mora saying that was a disgraceful performance, or we couldn't do Diddley Pooh.

We just got our ass totally kicked.

We couldn't do Diddley pooh offensively. This is more in line. This darko thing is more in line. If you remember, during the baseball playoffs, there was a guy named aj Minter of the Atlanta baseball team, and the Braves had a big comeback in the playoffs, and they asked him how were.

You able to come back?

And aj Minter said three words, heart and nuts. What kind of nuts do you like, Martha pe nuts?

What do you enjoy?

There's richardal nuts, that's what.

And that's a great bite. Heart and nuts, I said on.

The radio show, and I believe this to be true, that it's more of a David Fizdale type thing where Fizzdale hounded the table looking at the box score and said.

Take that for data, Take that for data. And walked off.

So it's more like that, or maybe a buzz Williams back when he was at Marquette saying the Butcher, the Baker, the candlestick Maker, The Butcher, the.

Baker, the candlestick Maker.

Which we played years, years and years ago. It's in that category. But I enjoyed it. I didn't expect it. I'd put the baby to bed, I'd put the show to bed. I actually had the Laker game on that night, and I thought, well, this seems like an obscene amount of foul shots, but that's just a typical Laker game.

The officials often are biased and help them out.

Ben sucks, so I thought.

Well, that's probably just that's just the way. I wasn't paying that close attention.

It was on the background, like background TV, and then next thing I know, I was like this, this popped up on our radar. I was like, whoa Wausers, zoom, bam, all that stuff, like, that's really good. That's really good audio from a guy that I had never heard that I had never heard of. Time now for the Dish of the Day. It's a new feature, the Dish of the Day, Dish all the day, Dish, all the day. Now, the reason we're doing dish of today is because randomly

The reality, the stork reality.

We were talking about mister Quinn, medicine man, defensive coordinator, Dan Quinn of the Dallas football team, Dallas Calvin's, and we did a monologue about Pete Carroll and Dan Quinn is certainly the betting favorite to go back and replace Pete Carroll in Seattle, and he went to Salisbury College. So I used that as one of my three things, and these monologues, I usually do three little things and try to tie them all together and make them make sense.

James H.

Salisbury. He was a physician back in the eighteen hundreds. He was a chemist and he was an advocate. He was one of these people that were advocating for a fugesi diet at that time. It was a meat centered diet. The effort was to help forward health, to promote health and all that stuff. And so the term Salisbury's steak, if you don't know what that is, that's a ground beef patty, like a burg ground beef patty. But it

And he did that.

And so this guy's whole agen everyone's got an agenda, was that he believed he believed that this dinner or lunch would help with treatment of digestive disorders. So that if you eat that, eat this, and you know, help you out. They haven't chop the the Salisbury steak, they would chop the bones, tendons.

All that other crap.

They'd cut away from it and they'd have the lean muscle and whatnot. And so anyway, it's named Salisbury stick, named after James H.

Salisbury.

And there you go.

The dish of the day, the dish of the day. And now we move ahead in the broadcast, we keep the line moving.

Not only do we have the dish of the day. That would be enough.

We wouldn't need any more content than that on the fifth hour. But how about the word of the week.

What is the word of the week? Glad you asked? The word of the week is edgy gen.

Now why are we doing this as the word of the week. We're doing this because of a historical week of no shortage of big name coaches saying bye bye, turnout the ladd it's the parties over. It started on Wednesday, Bye bye, Nikki, the little debbie eating oatmeal moonpie loving Nick Saban said Asta la vista to the folks in Tuscaloosa. And then on a Thursday, Bill Belichick said, were the jay.

I am out of here.

Make sure whoever's last turns out the lads, because it's all over now.

And these guys who worked together back in the day in Cleveland.

We told the story a few times. If you've not heard it, because you only listen a little bit, we get it. In the early days of Fox Sports Radio, we had a wonderful football punted.

By the name of Chris Landry. I really like this.

A good guy, Chris Landry, very good on the radio. You ask him one question, he'll give you ten minutes.

Just wonderful.

And Chris Landry had worked for a number of NFL teams, but he had worked for the Cleveland Browns when Belichick was the head coach and Nick Sabin was on the staff. And so Chris Landry would regale us with stories about working for the Browns and everything involved in that. And I have fond memories of Chris Landry telling us some of those behind the scenes stories when they were in team meetings and he would be in there, what it was like, the interaction and all that.

It was kind of cool. It's like a.

Trip behind the curtain to see how they make the sausage. So these guys have had good runs. Saban my theory. I did a monologue about this you can follow the Ben Maler Show podcast and hear that monologue in its entirety. But my position on Saban was that it was nil that he just got tired of the bull crap and he didn't want to deal with it, and he saw where this was going. He looked at his age, he looked how much money he had, and he said, Okay, I'm good.

I am good.

I ween to get out of here and enjoy myself and I'm the king and everyone will kiss my ass the rest of my life in Alabama and I'll be remembered as an all time great, easy peasy, good to go, and maybe I'll do some television and that's great. And then Belichick, it's complicated because I do believe he wanted to stay with the Patriot. Turns out that game against the Jets and the snow was his last hurrah with the Pagries, but he wanted to stay. But anyway, Belichick

They would read certain stories about the church. A lot of the meaning of.

The word legend comes from tales that were told in church and extended out. According to those that study this for a living, it meant non historical or mythical story, and it often in those days, back in the old days, involves saints, wonders, and miracles, and that goes back. That version goes back to the fourteenth century, meaning a writing or inscription. Now in those days it was on a

It's actually a holiday. I've never heard of it, but there you go. What other holiday?

We have?

National kettle ball Day. That's a great day.

Who the hell came up with that? What kind of loser came up with that? National hot Tea Day? The only time I drink tea is when I'm when I'm losing my voice. I drink hot, hot, hot tea. That's it, and that's rare. That's very rare.

What else is it? Today?

It's a hard work harder day. I think I'm good. I think I work harder though. It's also stick to your New Year's resolution day. This is usually about the time the New Year's resolution crowd taps out. Says I'm good, you know, start out in January, I'm gonna work out every day, I'm I go to the gym.

I got my gym membership.

And then it's like just kidding, psych just kidding, I'm good, I'm good.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

I think we'll put the baby to bed on that we got fresh podcast. Danny g is schedule, We'll see if he can make it. Will you schedule to join me tomorrow on Super wild Card weekends, kickoff of the big NFL games. But please, if you get a chance, check out Benny Versus the Penny, check out the radio show podcast follow that and either way, I'm just grateful that you've listened to this pod, and that's very kind of you to do, and we do thank you for that.

Danny? Later, Skater? What Aloha? It's a complete crap. Gotta murder, I gotta go